God created us as his masterpieces. If you are feeling a lack of ambition and motivation, just remember you are ALIVE for a reason, you really are! God loves you! You have a purpose here on this earth, you simply smiling to someone walking down the street can change that other persons entire day, and this is an extremely small example. This example doesn’t even compare to the greater things you can potentially have and or do. God has a lot for you’re life. “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11. JESUS loves you and wants to help you. He can help you through all your difficulties and shortcomings. You can lean on Jesus to help you overcome life challenges. He will give you new and great desires. You can always talk to him ❤️ he stands at the door of your life and awaits for you to accept him in. You can simply start talking with the Lord at anytime. Here is something you can start off with “ Jesus please help me to have faith and help me with ...”
You're going to love this Kevin my mom is one of those people that buys Your Love growing up and the last couple of boyfriends and a fiance behind my back she was paying their child support their car insurance they had a deal made out together my mom and my fiance I didn't find out till later she was paying their bills to keep us happy what the hell and then later she let me know after we broke up that he used to stare at her boobs while she cooked green beans oh I'm a I'm a special case over here please help
1. We become in love with the “idea” of being in love which is a fantasy in itself. 2.The perfect person doesn’t exist. Try to get to know a man first before accepting his imposter for validation because you need it too much. 3. Stop trying to attract the wrong man. Date what you are. Be who you are. 4.Stop being a stalemate in dating. Be willing to change and rearrange and have the courage to adjust to your own needs not just catering to his. 5. Watch for the red flags and don’t just accept them. Don’t sleep with a man just because he wants too if that’s not who you are. 6. A man only does to you what you let him. Soul ties are real. 7. Watching these videos are about learning and getting better at dating and relationships. Learn to accept the criticism. Thank you Kev.
I've been celibate over 3 1/2 years & it weeds out disingenuous guys very quickly ladies. Also don't give men $, loans or gifts unless you guys are exclusive & he has shown himself worthy of you & things are reciprocated.
@@calisteffenhagen291 Please don't do that anymore men have no business asking a woman for $, he should have a male family member, friend, associate, ect to get $ from.
I definitely have a problem about fantasizing a situation to death smh, it’s crazy how I was just thinking about how I always see the best In someone all because of my fantasies about them. Realizing that the problem was, I made them out to be something they weren’t and end up hurting myself behind it. Something I vow to never do again.
Yeah, that use to be me too. Then after a while, I stopped giving them the benefit of the doubt, and I started believing who they showed me. A persons true self, will never lie.
So true, my fantasy of someone made me stuck on them for years. When I sat and think about y I’m so attached to this person I cldnt really identify it.
Definitely have been there and I was really stuck on wtf is it about him that I find so appealing and I honestly couldn't think of a positive trait for me it was the fact that I was ready to be in a relationship and he appeared so I tried to make him fit the mold not realizing that he entered as a test to show me I wasnt ready for a relationship as much as I thought I was I had more work to do
Number two is bang on. I have fallen into the trap many times of wondering if I'm good enough for him, instead of asking myself, if he's good enough for me.
I am in the wonderful position of not needing a man in my life. I enjoy my own company and that of close friends. This has allowed me incredible clarity about men in general and in my life, specifically. If you wait long enough to let the guy get past the courting stage you will know everything you need to know. No one can keep up a false front forever and their true goal becomes very clear. Let time work in your favor!
I hate that you apologized at the end. This video internally stopped me in my tracks and has allowed me a safe place to really look myself and my dating habits in the mirror. Thank you. Your work here matters.
This is so true. I used to go for a certain type of man (mostly based on appearance, occupation, and a specific type of personality), and then once I stopped being so close-minded I found myself the perfect guy. Now I just watch these videos because they’re informative for when my friends complain about being single.
I assisted my ex financially here and there and helped boost him to start university to better his life (he was a HS dropout when I met him) and once I stopped funneling money into him he quickly soured and moved on and somehow is able to wine and dine the next. He taught me a big lesson.
This is why I hate starting over. I hate having to get to know a new man all over again. There are too many rules to dating and it feels like a total waste of time and energy. I would rather not.........
I agree with you 100%. The dating world has too many rules and do and don't list. That's why I got off that merry go round a long time ago and have put my life and trust in Jesus. Plus Jesus doesn't bring confusion to all this concerning dating.
@@constancereynolds3110 I understand but I do still have hope for a good union with someone, being that I am in Christ as well I would hope for someone that's after his heart, I acknowledge that this doesn't mean he'll be perfect, but if he's anchored in God he'd have direction and be taught how to love and honor me, don't give up😊
Baby, first of all are you even ready for a mature committed relationship. And secondly why is a man's looks so important to you? Like why would you think that a man that you go with will treat you good because of his looks. How a man looks has nothing to do with the kind of person that he is. And by the way learn to have a little respect for yourself because by this comment, it says you have none. Dating a man is not full of rules to begin with. If you are not interested in getting to know a man other than his looks, then why are you dating wasting men's time? You sound very immature much like those men you are dating who are just with you for fun and to have a good time.
Uh... I feel bad for you women "praying for a man". You know how many single older women are in the church "praying for a man"? And the "rules" that he's telling you here are to basically stop being delusional. What's wrong with someone reminding you to stop romanticizing an ideal? Weird. Good luck to you all though. Im single too so 🤷🏽♀️
When I first started watching this channel 5 months ago , I’d get triggered and trust me I’d just started watching Helena 7 months before and doing the work , BELIEVE me when I say listen to his advice . It has changed my life, not just dating life , my own life . Start with building your life , healing your trauma , pain and spiritual . This video was golden . Where I used to screw my face at his advice , now I watch ( especially this one today ) I smile and agree and I’m like more more I need more because IT HAS HELPED . Don’t get triggered, he’s speaking truth to HELP.
Thank you so much 😊. A lot of women have trouble with my videos at first because they upset the ego. It’s done in love to get past the bs, and get honest. Congratulations on growth and progress 🙌🏾🙌🏾
Ppl become triggered bcuz they dont want to do any self reflection nor hold themselves accountable once u stop hiding behind the mask its much easier to live in your truth ,accept it and heal
I love your videos. I am 76 years old now and have been married six times( they always want to keep me) and I find out that what I thought I wanted and needed was not what I got. I guess I settled because I thought that was all I deserved. Now, that I am older and look back, I deserved a lot more. I like myself now and I don't settle. I still date and have fun and still would like a man in my life but, I don't NEED a man in my life. I thank you for showing everyone that they are worth so much more than what they settle for. Keep up the good work. I would adopt you if I could. What a great son you would make.
Now that I'm older and have understanding I don't never say I like someone I don't know. I just know I'm interested to get to know them 🙂🙂 🦋Butterflies are the devil 👿they mean nothing to me .
I fell in love & married a fantasy, who I was focused on being accepted by... going left when I needed to go right, etc... 6 years & one child later I've waken up to a nightmare. Listen to Kev closely ladies! You don't want it to take what it took me to finally begin to course-correct.
Well in my case it made him open up that night, and he was so tired that he was fully honnest with me. He didn't want a relationship just like he told me on the first dates, and when i calmy asked him why he put on his profile he wanted something serious, he told me (get ready...^^) that he wanted to sleep with women who didn't have sexually transmitted diseases. The next day i told him we're over, he insisted a few times and eventually got it. What i mean is, sometimes it's only after sleeping with them that they show you who they really are...sucks big time to date nowadays
@@littlelily4 Actually it's the opposite. Stop sleeping with these Men and try to see who they really are. Plus. When a Man says he doesn't want a relationship. Believe him.
One simple thing I did that helps- make two lists. One of exactly what I want and one of dealbreakers. Knowing exactly what you want and don't want helps a lot!
One of my favorites from you. It’s not what make a man like us, respect us. But more about our self-growth from the within. If I keep seeking for how to make him give something (attention, respect) it means I validate his perception over my own perception about me.
I've been chatting with this guy for probably a month and few weeks now and he's said that he's comfortable when he chat with me...and he's want a future with me... when he have not seeing me in person yet, know what I sound like and etc... And I'm like 🙄 sir, things are not done that way...
I had the same experience. We had a past history, but that was years ago. It didn't work then, so if course I had doubts from the door. I listened to his conversation, what's going on in his life, and I asked him why his last relationship didn't work. I didn't want a real answer. I already knew. I found the excuse I needed to dump him day before yesterday, because I know he isn't ready, he doesn't have real goals, he's not independent enough for his age, and I just don't trust a guy who moves too fast. It's a warning sign. He wants something ( sex, food, money, or a place to live). It's not you, it's just that these guys can't be trusted. Most men are opportunists and bargain shoppers. They want as much as they can get for as little as it takes.
I had the exact same experience and now he's flipping on me. Don't believe anything he says. Actions speak louder than words. I just threw him in the friend zone and I'm keeping my options open.
I think it’s weird when they won’t meet within a couple of weeks. Who knows what they’re hiding. Don’t waste your time chatting. He’s creating an emotional connection with you because that’s how us women connect. But he’s not forming an emotional connections with you because men connect in person enjoying your company.
I have done all of these mistakes unknowingly due to my past experiences, abondment issues, daddy issues, but thankfully I have started making better choices so thanks for making this video
Nuuuuuggets! ~ As of 01/04/21 I vow to disrupt any patterns that is keeping me from my long-term happiness. This teaching is one of thee most powerful videos summed up in 18 minutes. Major self discovery took place as I watched. 💜 ~ Thank you Kev.
My problem is that I always give a man the benefit of doubt & going for his potential instead for who he really is. Not anymore...I know my worth, I respect my boundaries & I know exactly what I want.
Waited 7 years fantasizing about a man I knew of but didn't know. He got married 2 years ago. Deal with reality not potential... Received, respected and appreciated. Thanks Mr. Kev 🙏🏿
I really realizing that I barely want a man, I just need a friend. Not even a best friend with sex. Just a dang friend. Because I end up making a guy my everything and not even the real him, It's that shell you're talking about.
Same. And my problem most guys hate the idea of being friends with me so they just stop talking to me altogether. I guess it’s for the best though. I’ve always wanted a genuine friendship before the relationship but it’s easier said than done
@@blackbutterfye me too!!!! Idk what’s wrong with the idea of being friends with a woman now.. but most men aren’t interested in truly being your friend.. they only seek benefits.
Every single point made in this video hits home in some way and time in my life. This is seriously one of my all time favorite "be real with yourself" videos. Very well said!!!
Dear ladies looking for a long term relationship, Watch this video and take notes. If you’re tempted to have sexual contact early, or if you’re tempted to provide financial support, or you’re ignoring red flags because you’re still believing the fantasy, or you’re tempted to date any guy because you’ve been single too long - review your notes, watch this video again, and take notes on points that you missed the first time. Keep watching this video until the lessons sink in and you no longer do the things that cost you a long term relationship. This gentleman is giving you valuable information.
Great advice one time I met an ex nfl player I thought he was my dream guy (outward appearance) Man was I wrong the guy was rude a jerk and narcissistic. Everything that glitters ain’t gold.
You ARE changing the world Kev! You are helping women everywhere take their power back! You are saving young women from making the same mistakes and helping women understand men so much better! You are helping women help men do better as well! You're teaching women to unlock the hero instincts-or move on unharmed!
All very true. It doesn’t mean that if you do these mistakes, that you cannot take a step back and reevaluate the man. I can relate. I’ve been speaking to someone and initially, I was very much intrigued by his appeal, yet the brakes were out when his mother got sick and he went to be with her. I didn’t fantasize as much about the physical, but began to see the elements of who he was in terms of his loyalty and his love for his mother. It truly humbled me and I stepped away from my lust and see more of his core character and integrity. The intent and his communication with me despite the deep sadness he has. Though I don’t know what to say or do, I simply let him know I’m there if he wants to talk, I took a step back. Taking a step back, was tough the first couple of days. I had these selfish feelings of frustration. Then I started to refocus on my hobbies and business. I answered his texts but didn’t offer anything beyond that. This isn’t the time for that, this is the time for me to continue pushing forward and making my business thrive. Being new In a dating situation is not self explanatory when catastrophe happens. You are uncertain of what lane you are in, and though you want to be in the others life, you still need to be able to show you are an individual and don’t fold into his life automatically. I’m here for him, but I’m not going to chase him. I respect his struggle, but I haven’t earned a spot nor has he earned me to ride with him in it. Too soon and too awkward. It’s a tough balance. I’ll update you all as things progress, or not. Either way, I’m fabulous and got it goin on. ✌️
So glad you are able to step back because some of these dudes lie about family illnesses and stuff. It's sad but true and since we don't know for sure, it's always best to put ourselves first and go on with our best lives.
This video is so on point!! I used to always go into dates hoping to get picked not realizing that maybe I didn't even like the guy so yeah . You have to have some clarity and be discerning don't worry about rejection focus on whether you are aligned or not. Goals, Values, Lifestyle, Character. This is what you focus on, matching your energy. I've done all these things you've mentioned in this video and trust it gets you no where!
I’m going to be real with myself for a second. I think that if it starts to change after starting off good, but then the person still seems semi interested, I think I get stuck on “better the devil you know, than the devil you don’t.” And i don’t mean the person is a monster or anything. Just not compatible with me. And showing he’s not. That’s when you convince yourself that you’ve known him for a while, and he’s smart and works hard and is always kind when he talks...the fact that he is starting to be around less and not be as invested...I think I just fool myself because who knows what the next guy could be hiding and at least this guy is decent. And really I should be saying to myself that he’s not the one. But I stay longer than I should. I hope that makes sense. It’s fear of the unknown..
Kevin is beyond gifted and blessed if you can't understand him and believe what he says something is definitely wrong with you he speaks nothing but the truth most motivational speakers say the same thing over and over and over until you get bored and cut them off but Kevin he gives you the truth up front right then and there no questions asked and doesn't charge you may God continue to bless him and his wife abundantly
u really made me a woman that heals faster, im more concious about my feelings and about the behavior of men as well. i have no problem keeping my standards and i can be proud. ...thank you.. like a thousand times.. love still isnt easy but u made it so much more worth while. stay healthy..
Sir The knowledge that you are kicking right now is unmeasurable like thank you so much because sometimes when you’re doing things you don’t really realize you’re doing them until you hear it from someone else wow thank you again
Hey Kev, I really like this video btw. The part that really hit home for me is when you talked about being single and someone being content with being single. I've only had two serious long-term relationship in my life. Both of them were very toxic and unhealthy. I do feel like this is part of the reason I had little to no interest in dating. But I have took this time to reevaluate what I want in a relationship. I want to respect myself and not continue the cycle of bad dating and relationships. But I thank you for video it will be helpful as I continue my journey of self -love and self-reflection because I have done almost everything u stated when I used to date.
Kev spitting truth. I am definitely doing mistake number 3 and 4 and it's hard to admit. I obviously need help to do better because doing something different is going to be very hard.
you're trying to prove yourself worthy of a person who you haven't even qualified of being worthy of you! OHHHHHH! MAN I AIM FOR YOUR COMMUNICATION SKILLS! YOU ARE ANOINTED, KEV!!! GOD BLESS1
Kevin lol... some if us watch your videos even after getting the help they need because you give sound advise. All of us aren't sad and unhappy man lol. Be gentle with us haha! I started watching your videos about a year now and pretty much changed my life. Now I'm single, not dating yet...just taking the time to heal and asses myself until whenever the guy God sends comes along. I dont watch all the videos but I watch them as they may relate to me from time to time. Thanks as usual for sound advise.
Actually, I select well & still watch these videos to stay sharp and maintain my awareness as times & men change right before my eyes. I know that even each long term relationship has a beginning, middle & an end 🥂
I’m self employed. I’m a home distributor and I’m single. I don’t approach men and men these days don’t even approach women anymore so where do I run into a good guy?
I’ve been watching your videos as more of a reminder of games played. I haven’t dated in a decade because I was married. I anticipate trying to date in maybe a year or two. Just taking time for me and to build myself up to it. Thank you for sharing your insight!
Love your message! Thank you for keeping it real and poking holes in faulty and destructive thinking and behaving. I needed you 40 years ago, but SO grateful for the knowledge and encouragement today.
I SWEAR this is so true!! I feel like I like who they CAN be, or who I thought he were. It's also why I like the idea of them more than actually being around them 😞
Who the h*ll do you think you are speaking TRUTH to women TWICE your age?!😏 Wooooww! The Universe is using you to remind us of the common sense things we have forgotten. Keep steppin' on toes and pushing buttons. It's time for change! OR we'll still be watching your videos in 2026😂. Be blessed, young man. 😌🙏🏽.
These dating mistakes are so on point! I've made them all for years. It has ruined my reputation, my morale and self esteem, and at 60 years old, my hope of ever experiencing real love. *sigh*
WOW. That is all I have to say after watching this video!! I always end up with the wrong men, and it affects me mentally. But, I am healing and bettering myself :D
Omg soo right, I am in my spiritual healing process and I am learning my flaws and you have nipped some for me to realize! I don’t date but this still helps when the time comes... THANKS
Live event link in the description.
God created us as his masterpieces. If you are feeling a lack of ambition and motivation, just remember you are ALIVE for a reason, you really are! God loves you! You have a purpose here on this earth, you simply smiling to someone walking down the street can change that other persons entire day, and this is an extremely small example. This example doesn’t even compare to the greater things you can potentially have and or do. God has a lot for you’re life. “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11.
JESUS loves you and wants to help you. He can help you through all your difficulties and shortcomings. You can lean on Jesus to help you overcome life challenges. He will give you new and great desires. You can always talk to him ❤️ he stands at the door of your life and awaits for you to accept him in. You can simply start talking with the Lord at anytime. Here is something you can start off with “ Jesus please help me to have faith and help me with ...”
This is one of your best videos..🎯
You're going to love this Kevin my mom is one of those people that buys Your Love growing up and the last couple of boyfriends and a fiance behind my back she was paying their child support their car insurance they had a deal made out together my mom and my fiance I didn't find out till later she was paying their bills to keep us happy what the hell and then later she let me know after we broke up that he used to stare at her boobs while she cooked green beans oh I'm a I'm a special case over here please help
You hit the nail on the head. I just stumbled across this channel. I will be tuning in.
Too many ladies making gourmet dinners for perfect strangers in order to be loved. It breaks my heart.
Been there. Done that. Never again.
Facts!!
Never again. I bought a mixer and made perfect healhy candies out of nuts and he said it sucks. Never again.
😳 WoW
oh.. yes me too :(
Never do that.. those men will die alone without you..
Facts, I’m mostly in love with who the man can be rather than with who he really is and it has cost me 😕
Me too...smh
I've been there also.
Happened to me too..i really have to be picky based on personality and their reaction to situations
We’ve all been there.
Potential is the most dangerous attribute a woman can associate with a man
1. We become in love with the “idea” of being in love which is a fantasy in itself.
2.The perfect person doesn’t exist. Try to get to know a man first before accepting his imposter for validation because you need it too much.
3. Stop trying to attract the wrong man. Date what you are. Be who you are.
4.Stop being a stalemate in dating. Be willing to change and rearrange and have the courage to adjust to your own needs not just catering to his.
5. Watch for the red flags and don’t just accept them. Don’t sleep with a man just because he wants too if that’s not who you are.
6. A man only does to you what you let him. Soul ties are real.
7. Watching these videos are about learning and getting better at dating and relationships. Learn to accept the criticism.
Thank you Kev.
I've been celibate over 3 1/2 years & it weeds out disingenuous guys very quickly ladies. Also don't give men $, loans or gifts unless you guys are exclusive & he has shown himself worthy of you & things are reciprocated.
I've had men literally ask me for money, for video games, for clothes, and with some of them I obliged. Never again.
@@calisteffenhagen291
Please don't do that anymore
men have no business asking a woman for $, he should have a male family member, friend, associate, ect to get $ from.
@@sophisticatedmm3632 it is hard, I worry I’ll be alone forever sometimes.
@@calisteffenhagen291
I understand for the time being I'm focused on my career, getting my 1st home & exercising to get in shape. Stay safe
only share money with your husband.
My biggest problem was serving, wanting to help, and settling for less than what I really desired. Settling for bull💩 ended three years ago.
I definitely have a problem about fantasizing a situation to death smh, it’s crazy how I was just thinking about how I always see the best In someone all because of my fantasies about them. Realizing that the problem was, I made them out to be something they weren’t and end up hurting myself behind it. Something I vow to never do again.
Feel ya.
I'm learning how to cast down these thoughts also.
Love the self-awareness.
Yeah, that use to be me too. Then after a while, I stopped giving them the benefit of the doubt, and I started believing who they showed me. A persons true self, will never lie.
Feel you!
So true, my fantasy of someone made me stuck on them for years. When I sat and think about y I’m so attached to this person I cldnt really identify it.
Facts! This had me attracted to superficial qualities and stuck in toxic relationships far too long than I needed to be.
Definitely have been there and I was really stuck on wtf is it about him that I find so appealing and I honestly couldn't think of a positive trait for me it was the fact that I was ready to be in a relationship and he appeared so I tried to make him fit the mold not realizing that he entered as a test to show me I wasnt ready for a relationship as much as I thought I was I had more work to do
Preach!
💯
Real Shit!
“A relationship is a best friendship.” Mike drop❤️❤️❤️
Number two is bang on. I have fallen into the trap many times of wondering if I'm good enough for him, instead of asking myself, if he's good enough for me.
Sistah!!😳👏🏽
Girl me too not anymore
I am in the wonderful position of not needing a man in my life. I enjoy my own company and that of close friends.
This has allowed me incredible clarity about men in general and in my life, specifically. If you wait long enough to let the guy get past the courting stage you will know everything you need to know. No one can keep up a false front forever and their true goal becomes very clear. Let time work in your favor!
Yep... 'character' is like pregnancy, it cannot be hidden forever.
I hate that you apologized at the end. This video internally stopped me in my tracks and has allowed me a safe place to really look myself and my dating habits in the mirror. Thank you. Your work here matters.
So well said!!! 🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾
This is so true. I used to go for a certain type of man (mostly based on appearance, occupation, and a specific type of personality), and then once I stopped being so close-minded I found myself the perfect guy. Now I just watch these videos because they’re informative for when my friends complain about being single.
I assisted my ex financially here and there and helped boost him to start university to better his life (he was a HS dropout when I met him) and once I stopped funneling money into him he quickly soured and moved on and somehow is able to wine and dine the next. He taught me a big lesson.
Thank you imuch😅
I was definitely guilty of giving too much, too soon! & the fantasizing part... whew! I’m working to change it Lord! 🙏🏽❤️
Yes that is so true just because life isnt fair doesnt mean that rebelling is going to make you happy. It just makes you miserable.
True
This is why I hate starting over. I hate having to get to know a new man all over again. There are too many rules to dating and it feels like a total waste of time and energy. I would rather not.........
I agree with you 100%. The dating world has too many rules and do and don't list. That's why I got off that merry go round a long time ago and have put my life and trust in Jesus. Plus Jesus doesn't bring confusion to all this concerning dating.
@@constancereynolds3110 I understand but I do still have hope for a good union with someone, being that I am in Christ as well I would hope for someone that's after his heart, I acknowledge that this doesn't mean he'll be perfect, but if he's anchored in God he'd have direction and be taught how to love and honor me, don't give up😊
Baby, first of all are you even ready for a mature committed relationship. And secondly why is a man's looks so important to you? Like why would you think that a man that you go with will treat you good because of his looks. How a man looks has nothing to do with the kind of person that he is. And by the way learn to have a little respect for yourself because by this comment, it says you have none. Dating a man is not full of rules to begin with. If you are not interested in getting to know a man other than his looks, then why are you dating wasting men's time? You sound very immature much like those men you are dating who are just with you for fun and to have a good time.
@@chelsieromero4874 She never mentioned looks fool
Uh... I feel bad for you women "praying for a man". You know how many single older women are in the church "praying for a man"? And the "rules" that he's telling you here are to basically stop being delusional. What's wrong with someone reminding you to stop romanticizing an ideal? Weird. Good luck to you all though. Im single too so 🤷🏽♀️
When I first started watching this channel 5 months ago , I’d get triggered and trust me I’d just started watching Helena 7 months before and doing the work , BELIEVE me when I say listen to his advice . It has changed my life, not just dating life , my own life . Start with building your life , healing your trauma , pain and spiritual . This video was golden . Where I used to screw my face at his advice , now I watch ( especially this one today ) I smile and agree and I’m like more more I need more because IT HAS HELPED . Don’t get triggered, he’s speaking truth to HELP.
Mmm. Respect!
Thank you so much 😊. A lot of women have trouble with my videos at first because they upset the ego. It’s done in love to get past the bs, and get honest. Congratulations on growth and progress 🙌🏾🙌🏾
Ppl become triggered bcuz they dont want to do any self reflection nor hold themselves accountable once u stop hiding behind the mask its much easier to live in your truth ,accept it and heal
@@letrice2892 True
👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽 I’m almost there.
Kevin came for all our wigs today. He pretty much said "I ain't playing with y'all this time"
Did!!!
Not all the wigs lol 😂
I love your videos. I am 76 years old now and have been married six times( they always want to keep me) and I find out that what I thought I wanted and needed was not what I got. I guess I settled because I thought that was all I deserved. Now, that I am older and look back, I deserved a lot more. I like myself now and I don't settle. I still date and have fun and still would like a man in my life but, I don't NEED a man in my life. I thank you for showing everyone that they are worth so much more than what they settle for. Keep up the good work. I would adopt you if I could. What a great son you would make.
😬
Not " screwed into couches " 😂Kev is funny as hell . Tips in this video are priceless 👍🏽
Now that I'm older and have understanding I don't never say I like someone I don't know. I just know I'm interested to get to know them 🙂🙂
🦋Butterflies are the devil 👿they mean nothing to me .
Lmfao 😄!!
I fell in love & married a fantasy, who I was focused on being accepted by... going left when I needed to go right, etc... 6 years & one child later I've waken up to a nightmare. Listen to Kev closely ladies! You don't want it to take what it took me to finally begin to course-correct.
8 out of 10 Women Suck at Dating by taking the Cookie out the JAR to soon. Wait!
BOOM
Bam!💣
Well in my case it made him open up that night, and he was so tired that he was fully honnest with me. He didn't want a relationship just like he told me on the first dates, and when i calmy asked him why he put on his profile he wanted something serious, he told me (get ready...^^) that he wanted to sleep with women who didn't have sexually transmitted diseases. The next day i told him we're over, he insisted a few times and eventually got it. What i mean is, sometimes it's only after sleeping with them that they show you who they really are...sucks big time to date nowadays
@@littlelily4 Actually it's the opposite. Stop sleeping with these Men and try to see who they really are. Plus. When a Man says he doesn't want a relationship. Believe him.
@@gingerfellah5665 Why? Don't you want to know if he wants you or just wants your body?? Wait!! If he waits. You will find out!
One simple thing I did that helps- make two lists. One of exactly what I want and one of dealbreakers. Knowing exactly what you want and don't want helps a lot!
🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾
Yesssss, I've been trying to figure that out. What I want.
"Sometimes the rebellion becomes bigger than the goal"
- Kev Hicks
Kevin...we love your "long-ass videos." Keep 'em comin! 😉
One of my favorites from you. It’s not what make a man like us, respect us. But more about our self-growth from the within. If I keep seeking for how to make him give something (attention, respect) it means I validate his perception over my own perception about me.
I've been chatting with this guy for probably a month and few weeks now and he's said that he's comfortable when he chat with me...and he's want a future with me... when he have not seeing me in person yet, know what I sound like and etc... And I'm like 🙄 sir, things are not done that way...
I had the same experience. We had a past history, but that was years ago. It didn't work then, so if course I had doubts from the door. I listened to his conversation, what's going on in his life, and I asked him why his last relationship didn't work. I didn't want a real answer. I already knew. I found the excuse I needed to dump him day before yesterday, because I know he isn't ready, he doesn't have real goals, he's not independent enough for his age, and I just don't trust a guy who moves too fast. It's a warning sign. He wants something ( sex, food, money, or a place to live). It's not you, it's just that these guys can't be trusted. Most men are opportunists and bargain shoppers. They want as much as they can get for as little as it takes.
Correct men dont know or they just persuit anyway. That in real life if you met a person. You are strangers.
I had the exact same experience and now he's flipping on me. Don't believe anything he says. Actions speak louder than words. I just threw him in the friend zone and I'm keeping my options open.
@@TravelingDiva-vp1gt Exactly, I have friend zone him already. I just came back into the dating game after years so, I don't have time for that...
I think it’s weird when they won’t meet within a couple of weeks. Who knows what they’re hiding. Don’t waste your time chatting. He’s creating an emotional connection with you because that’s how us women connect. But he’s not forming an emotional connections with you because men connect in person enjoying your company.
I've been called out🤣🤣🤣🤣 lowkey hurt but enlightening thanks
I have done all of these mistakes unknowingly due to my past experiences, abondment issues, daddy issues, but thankfully I have started making better choices so thanks for making this video
Let's get it 🔥🔥
*You cannot purchase a person's loyalty*
"Everybody ain't no narcissist". Exactly!
Right. So tired of hearing that term tossed around. He's not a narcissist; you're just an idiot.
@@trafficcontrol2420 🤣🤣nice one.
Nuuuuuggets! ~ As of 01/04/21 I vow to disrupt any patterns that is keeping me from my long-term happiness.
This teaching is one of thee most powerful videos summed up in 18 minutes. Major self discovery took place as I watched. 💜
~ Thank you Kev.
Beautiful!👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
My problem is that I always give a man the benefit of doubt & going for his potential instead for who he really is. Not anymore...I know my worth, I respect my boundaries & I know exactly what I want.
Waited 7 years fantasizing about a man I knew of but didn't know. He got married 2 years ago.
Deal with reality not potential...
Received, respected and appreciated. Thanks Mr. Kev 🙏🏿
I didnt even listen yet and I know you gonna have me block someone son or daughter tonight 😩😩😩
I really realizing that I barely want a man, I just need a friend. Not even a best friend with sex. Just a dang friend.
Because I end up making a guy my everything and not even the real him, It's that shell you're talking about.
😭😭😭 I'm in the same boat girl...smh
Same
Yep
Same. And my problem most guys hate the idea of being friends with me so they just stop talking to me altogether. I guess it’s for the best though. I’ve always wanted a genuine friendship before the relationship but it’s easier said than done
@@blackbutterfye me too!!!! Idk what’s wrong with the idea of being friends with a woman now.. but most men aren’t interested in truly being your friend.. they only seek benefits.
You just inspired me to make 2021 a different kind of year! Thank you!!
Every single point made in this video hits home in some way and time in my life. This is seriously one of my all time favorite "be real with yourself" videos. Very well said!!!
TOTALLY AGREE, friendship must be a foundation before romance!
Dear ladies looking for a long term relationship,
Watch this video and take notes. If you’re tempted to have sexual contact early, or if you’re tempted to provide financial support, or you’re ignoring red flags because you’re still believing the fantasy, or you’re tempted to date any guy because you’ve been single too long - review your notes, watch this video again, and take notes on points that you missed the first time. Keep watching this video until the lessons sink in and you no longer do the things that cost you a long term relationship. This gentleman is giving you valuable information.
This video is going to open eyes and help a lot of women! Raw truth!
Great advice one time I met an ex nfl player I thought he was my dream guy (outward appearance)
Man was I wrong the guy was rude a jerk and narcissistic.
Everything that glitters ain’t gold.
Am from kenya in Africa you help me so much definately recommending my friends
Love you kev and I pray you and your family to be blessed .
Thank you! You be blessed as well😁
You ARE changing the world Kev! You are helping women everywhere take their power back! You are saving young women from making the same mistakes and helping women understand men so much better! You are helping women help men do better as well! You're teaching women to unlock the hero instincts-or move on unharmed!
Mad love all the way from zimbabwe 🇿🇼 🇿🇼 🇿🇼 🇿🇼
Jesus, I NEEDED this. Probably gonna watch it everyday until it's etched in my heart.
I love how clear you are with your advice. You hit the nail on the head with some huge mistakes I have made.
😳ok I’m embarrassed 🤦🏾♀️
All very true. It doesn’t mean that if you do these mistakes, that you cannot take a step back and reevaluate the man. I can relate. I’ve been speaking to someone and initially, I was very much intrigued by his appeal, yet the brakes were out when his mother got sick and he went to be with her. I didn’t fantasize as much about the physical, but began to see the elements of who he was in terms of his loyalty and his love for his mother. It truly humbled me and I stepped away from my lust and see more of his core character and integrity. The intent and his communication with me despite the deep sadness he has. Though I don’t know what to say or do, I simply let him know I’m there if he wants to talk, I took a step back.
Taking a step back, was tough the first couple of days. I had these selfish feelings of frustration. Then I started to refocus on my hobbies and business. I answered his texts but didn’t offer anything beyond that. This isn’t the time for that, this is the time for me to continue pushing forward and making my business thrive.
Being new In a dating situation is not self explanatory when catastrophe happens. You are uncertain of what lane you are in, and though you want to be in the others life, you still need to be able to show you are an individual and don’t fold into his life automatically.
I’m here for him, but I’m not going to chase him. I respect his struggle, but I haven’t earned a spot nor has he earned me to ride with him in it. Too soon and too awkward. It’s a tough balance. I’ll update you all as things progress, or not. Either way, I’m fabulous and got it goin on.
✌️
So glad you are able to step back because some of these dudes lie about family illnesses and stuff. It's sad but true and since we don't know for sure, it's always best to put ourselves first and go on with our best lives.
@@Cattitude369 lmao yea that dude was lying. I moved on. 🤣🤣
This video is so on point!! I used to always go into dates hoping to get picked not realizing that maybe I didn't even like the guy so yeah . You have to have some clarity and be discerning don't worry about rejection focus on whether you are aligned or not. Goals, Values, Lifestyle, Character. This is what you focus on, matching your energy. I've done all these things you've mentioned in this video and trust it gets you no where!
I’m going to be real with myself for a second. I think that if it starts to change after starting off good, but then the person still seems semi interested, I think I get stuck on “better the devil you know, than the devil you don’t.” And i don’t mean the person is a monster or anything. Just not compatible with me. And showing he’s not. That’s when you convince yourself that you’ve known him for a while, and he’s smart and works hard and is always kind when he talks...the fact that he is starting to be around less and not be as invested...I think I just fool myself because who knows what the next guy could be hiding and at least this guy is decent. And really I should be saying to myself that he’s not the one. But I stay longer than I should. I hope that makes sense. It’s fear of the unknown..
Kevin is beyond gifted and blessed if you can't understand him and believe what he says something is definitely wrong with you he speaks nothing but the truth most motivational speakers say the same thing over and over and over until you get bored and cut them off but Kevin he gives you the truth up front right then and there no questions asked and doesn't charge you may God continue to bless him and his wife abundantly
Look up the song " silly" by Deniece/ Denise? Williams.
We've all done it girl🧡
u really made me a woman that heals faster, im more concious about my feelings and about the behavior of men as well. i have no problem keeping my standards and i can be proud. ...thank you.. like a thousand times.. love still isnt easy but u made it so much more worth while. stay healthy..
Kev has decided we are going to get this chit right in 2021...come hell or high water! Thanks Kev :-)
“Date the best friend you’ve had” literally dating my best friend of 4 years “somebody pray for me! Yup yup!” 😂🤣🖤
Sir The knowledge that you are kicking right now is unmeasurable like thank you so much because sometimes when you’re doing things you don’t really realize you’re doing them until you hear it from someone else wow thank you again
"Get yourself a maintenance man"
O M G
That's gold🤣🤣🤣
Hey Kev,
I really like this video btw. The part that really hit home for me is when you talked about being single and someone being content with being single. I've only had two serious long-term relationship in my life. Both of them were very toxic and unhealthy. I do feel like this is part of the reason I had little to no interest in dating. But I have took this time to reevaluate what I want in a relationship. I want to respect myself and not continue the cycle of bad dating and relationships. But I thank you for video it will be helpful as I continue my journey of self -love and self-reflection because I have done almost everything u stated when I used to date.
Kev spitting truth. I am definitely doing mistake number 3 and 4 and it's hard to admit. I obviously need help to do better because doing something different is going to be very hard.
I had a guy ask for one-thousand dollars, sleeping pills, and to stay in the guest bedroom of my house. I told him, "No," across the board.
Damn
You really do give the best advice
"Start chasing the best friend you've ever had" 👌🔥
you're trying to prove yourself worthy of a person who you haven't even qualified of being worthy of you! OHHHHHH! MAN I AIM FOR YOUR COMMUNICATION SKILLS! YOU ARE ANOINTED, KEV!!! GOD BLESS1
Kevin lol... some if us watch your videos even after getting the help they need because you give sound advise. All of us aren't sad and unhappy man lol. Be gentle with us haha!
I started watching your videos about a year now and pretty much changed my life. Now I'm single, not dating yet...just taking the time to heal and asses myself until whenever the guy God sends comes along. I dont watch all the videos but I watch them as they may relate to me from time to time. Thanks as usual for sound advise.
Disrupt the patterns, take inventory, and make adjustments….Boom! 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
Ha! Lol! I haven’t even watched the video yet. The title called out my name in a real aggressive manner lol 😂 but I’m ready for the truth.
Sharing this with my friends in 5, 4, 3, 2....
Cali - NY analogy so relevant to my life lmao 😂 Great video 👍
Kev’s advice is so real and his analogies are so useful. I’ve been driving the wrong way this whole time!
Actually, I select well & still watch these videos to stay sharp and maintain my awareness as times & men change right before my eyes. I know that even each long term relationship has a beginning, middle & an end 🥂
The ending of a relationship is where you learn who the person really was.
If we can’t say ouch, we must say Amen!!
I really did disregard some red flags again this time I did cut it off in a month instead of a 1+ years..
well done
I’m self employed. I’m a home distributor and I’m single. I don’t approach men and men these days don’t even approach women anymore so where do I run into a good guy?
I’ve been watching your videos as more of a reminder of games played. I haven’t dated in a decade because I was married. I anticipate trying to date in maybe a year or two. Just taking time for me and to build myself up to it. Thank you for sharing your insight!
this is why I come here. I like your Common Sense , Straight Talk approach to healthy dating and relationships.- Thanks Kev 😊 🙏
Completely summarised exactly what I've been thinking about lately. Thank you!
Nothing But Truth, top to bottom, beginning to end! PREACH KEVIN!!!!
I cannot express how grateful I am that you are making videos! Thank you!
Love your message! Thank you for keeping it real and poking holes in faulty and destructive thinking and behaving.
I needed you 40 years ago, but SO grateful for the knowledge and encouragement today.
yes alll true. i dated the persons back story. not how they are in the now.
it was only after i did the work that i even noticed that is what i did.
😹😹😹😹😹😭this is hilarious
I SWEAR this is so true!! I feel like I like who they CAN be, or who I thought he were. It's also why I like the idea of them more than actually being around them 😞
Who the h*ll do you think you are speaking TRUTH to women TWICE your age?!😏 Wooooww! The Universe is using you to remind us of the common sense things we have forgotten. Keep steppin' on toes and pushing buttons. It's time for change! OR we'll still be watching your videos in 2026😂.
Be blessed, young man.
😌🙏🏽.
Thanks Kev. I've listened to this message more than once because it applies to me in not finding my life long friend. Again thank you.
I am in an endless circle of problem #1... I've got a big imagination, hopes and fantasies that are hard to dismiss.
I have issues with 3 out of the 8. Thank you for the information. Im going to make changes today.
These dating mistakes are so on point! I've made them all for years. It has ruined my reputation, my morale and self esteem, and at 60 years old, my hope of ever experiencing real love. *sigh*
This is an advice we have to listen to everyday and before we go on a date.
Thank you Big Brother Kev.
I needed to hear this Sept 2K19. Excellent Advice.
I usually cringe at some of these male dating coaches on here but yours hit different. This is a good one!
Great video! and I love the analogy of going west or east. Going to the night club trying to find Mr. Right is the wrong direction ❤️
Kev, thank you once again for your honesty . We all need to do inventory on ourselves .
I always tell my daughter the same thing your step dad told you… I didn’t make the game so I’ve gotta play by the rules.
WOW. That is all I have to say after watching this video!! I always end up with the wrong men, and it affects me mentally. But, I am healing and bettering myself :D
You made your point very well.. I'm here because in experienced and an learning 23 years two relationships that I never want to repeat
Thank you Kev. I really needed to hear this. True, true, true ..... all eight of your points.
Omg soo right, I am in my spiritual healing process and I am learning my flaws and you have nipped some for me to realize! I don’t date but this still helps when the time comes... THANKS
I must have prayed I would get this type of advice . You are a blessing.
“You can be right or you can be happy”. Sheesh!
Is it bad that I still want to be right? 😂
#2 gotta be 1 of the biggest ones. I see most women make that mistake with men. Like Cmon now