C.S. Joseph realizing that most of the comments are from INFJs and likes them all because he knows how much we need recognition:) *give this man a medal please*
I'm infp, but it feels like he's talking about me in this video. Trust issues regarding loyalty, failure to launch, the love for jewelry and words of affirmation from our s.o., the need to know the rules of engagement and plans for the future in a relationship, mirroring, not having a consistent sleeping pattern... All of it.
@@ayeshak6822 found in the meantime that I'm an INFP too, but felt legitimately understood while he was describing infjs, like with the mirroring, whisper, wolf pack loyalty, don't really recall others now, hm, but maybe there is more in common between the types when we look at specific aspects. This features though are less discussed or unmentioned in the infp video and because they are nonetheless important to us, we feel a better connection with the infj description. But this are only tangential features and it doesn't mean it's your type if you fit them. The motivation behind them might differ (for example depression being caused by lack of appreciation in infps and infj just feel useless constantly¿idk I think - watch infps video of CS Joseph responds for that). Also at first I thought I had performing anxiety but it's just social anxiety(admitting I fear what others think about me seemed the hardest). Also I realised after more ppl noticed in me that I put great value on my feelings (but when I was 16-17 I couldn't even conceive that, cause in my environment feelings weren't allowed). I think that is better to look at the whole picture, be true to yourself, but, well, I needed time for that and wasn't that easy (I'm 19 now and when I was younger I was very judgy with all the pinky pie inpf stuff- but stop looking down at infp, really, even I after I saw that I'm one I continued for a while to believe that this type has the worst defects of all and just accepted that as a condamnation:)). But no. Really. You're who you are and can do better no matter what pulls you down. Not finished, this one is important for me. The thing that triggered me the most was the fact that I had no boundaries for myself, I wish to inpfs to never experience that but to realise it as soon as possible, listen to Robert Glover please. Save your dignity and most importantly, TEST it, cause will come a time where you've build all this moral principle theoretically and at the first real challenge they will collapse. I seem to have wrote my Fi book, yes. I just want to help infps and to make infjs and infps to not get mistyped, this lead to so much anger (since when infps hold so little patience and want to attack another person? From what I saw at some ppl though) . I don't consider someone's exclusive fault that we didn't get it the right way, but how will anger help with finding a solution? Search it individually and don't close possibilities, even if it's an extra effort
I’m an INFJ. I like this guy. I like the no bullshit analysis. Any INFJ who is actually serious about personal growth will listen to the uncomfortable truths that this guy brings up.
My speculation is that the "complaints" are coming from mature, healthy INFJs who see the video as filled with petty attacks on immature, unhealthy INFJs. If most of this video does indeed resonate, then you are correct, you should consider the points that he makes and translate that into a plan for actionable self-growth. As INFJs we can indeed appreciate the honest, direct nature of an ENTP. However, as I pointed out in a lengthy diatribe last week, INFJs who are on the side nearer to being fully developed simply won't tolerate the ENTPs tendency to come across as arrogant and condescending. We've been through the self-growth and see a better way to guide people. As I put it, the ENTP feeds into and supports an unhealthy INFJs lack of self-worth through their methods. I'm going to say that is unhealthy, but I don't have any empirical evidence to back that up.
I'm not going to say you're wrong, but I'm not going to say he's right either. I'm just going to say that he would get knocked the fuck out talkin to me like that in real life
I want to start by saying I agree with a lot lot lot of what you say about infjs, but as an infj, I feel compelled to introduce a different perspective. I see that to you, infjs alienate people by requiring a high moral standard. And we do strive for that high moral standard in people we surround ourselves with, but we are ok with failures in others. Because of Fe, we're not going to make someone feel bad for failing. We only ask for effort. Just try. If you try and it's obviously not something you can maintain, we wouldn't want you to keep stressing yourself over it. We just want to know people are working toward becoming better people like we are. I understand that in itself is selfish, we want others to spend the same effort we do for others, but it's because society needs everyone to try to be better. Yes we will fail sometimes, but we will also succeed sometimes. That's what we have our eyes on.
S. S. Cookies I can’t read your whole comment but I never connected my interest in religion with my INFJ personality but it makes perfect sense ! It ties into my idealism and self-improvement tendencies.
wow this is me in a nutshell. I really get frustrated that people would think "I" think I'm that moral. I know I'm not! I am AlWAYS trying to improve myself to get to achieve that goodness I think we all have inside of us. I just do not understand why others wouldn't aim for that. This is where I start sounding "in your face" about it because its not my place to judge those that don't strive for being the best they can be. but damnit I can't stand lazy people that don't try.... I am just trying to help them be better! GAH, ha ha. but really I just want them to try. I know that people have a hard time being good all the time, I know I do, but honestly if you put forth some work then you can become so much better. And when we are all a little better it makes A BIG better! Come on people lets try! What the hell else do you have to do with your life????
@@shelbysongy2666 I feel EXACTLY the same! I just can't conceive not wanting to at least try to be better. Sometimes I get really depressed because of this, because people, and especially if it's people I care about, don't seem to care or make an effort to be better and make things better for everyone. Even when it's so clear to me, and I tell them how they could do that. I guess that might be "holding people to impossible standards" 😅 but I'm the first person I hold to those standards so...
@@elisabettaeaglesham1858 do you know how many times I've had to hurt myself to do the right thing so Im not a hypocrite? Meaning I probably could have wiggled myself out of a dilemma but because I push for everyone to be their best and take responsibility for their actions I have to as well. Sometimes that sucks, ha ha but I do it. That's why I don't know why others can't. Perhaps we have it all wrong, though? Maybe we shouldn't put so much effort into society? Perhaps everyone else has it right? Cut corners, cheat, lie, be lazy, lacking empathy, ect. Maybe they live the better life since they don't hold themselves accountable? Sometimes I wish my inner critic would shut the hell up but he has a megaphone that is loud, lol! Oh well, rambling now.
@@shelbysongy2666 @shelby songy I totally get what you're saying! Sometimes I think it might be true, that not caring so much about "doing the right thing" might be a better way to live. And I'm not innocent of doing that myself sometimes, especially if "mirroring" someone else I guess haha. But in the end I think it's a question of balance, when it doesn't really matter it's fine to let yourself off the hook every now and then, but if it's something important I think taking the harder path is always the best choice in the end! Even if we have to deal with the screaming inner critic 😅
All my friends? It was me catering for their problems and feelings and when I needed them they where not there for me. There is just one friend I have and that is me. There is no loyalty from others. Every INFJ knows this deep inside.
I just aboud cried when you said you believe in INFJs and that we're not as worthless as the voices in our head tell us we are. The best therapist I've had constantly made a point to remind me that, and also he got me into the habit of every time I thought someone didn't like me anymore (because I don't think of it as betrayal, but as the person being fed up with me and wanting to leave me), to remind myself that those small changes are not solid proof that they disliked me. I still have some trouble with it, but I've gotten better although I can fall back into old habits. Edit: One of my best friends once told me "You frustrate me because it doesn't matter if I think you're amazing, you just can't seem to get it" and that makes me cry every time I think about it.
While it hurts in the moment, and leaves an impression in the memory, I tend to push people away after I feel I have helped them as much as I can, and about when I want my own personal space back. I see all relationships as incontrovertible responsibilities that I can't brake off without consent. The truest action a friend of an INFJ can make is to let us go. While I feel we could be life long friends, I don't think we're meant to
What if instead of saying "they think" your friend said "they felt you're amazing"? I think as a society we do not feel much because of freeze, and so much what passes for feeling and emotions is superficial. If there was more feeling in friendship there'd be more wholeness instead of overanalysing every behavior.
@@nvliaenIt's a bit late now but... Make comparisons. It's not enough to make compliments because Fi critic and Te trickster can't really give value to that compliment. They go like "What do I do with this? Does she know a bunch of stupid people and I'm just slightly less stupid? Am I really wise or am I just a bit less immature? Is she saying it just to make me feel better?" and so on. Compare her skill, her kindness, her intelligence to someone she respect and idealize. She sees the best in other people (even when there isn't), so if you say she is equal or even better than that (and prove it with examples) she should get it. But the best is to compare her to her previous self, to make her realize how much she improved over time. Because Si demon keeps track of every failure but doesn't keep track of her achievements (so nice to have, ik).
C.S. Joseph: "They need to get off their asses" Me, an INFJ, sitting in bed watching TH-cam at 11am when I should be doing more productive things: I feel personally attacked.
Why do I feel validated and berated at the same time? I wanted to say "Hoorah" while at the same time shake my head and slap you through the screen. What interesting emotional responses...
Good on you to bring up INFJ flaws. I'm so sick of reading materials which tell us how special we are. We don't need an ego boost, and we don't need validation. I get validated by people all the time and I *still* know i'm deeply flawed, and I *still* feel like a failure. I've become keenly aware that there are parts of my personality hidden even from myself. I don't have that self-analysis ability because parts of my personality are hidden inside my shadow, and looking into the shadow is a fearful place to be and a source of many of my anxieties. So thank you. Thank you for being honest, and for tempering your analysis with a compassionate outlook towards us more neurotic INFJs.
I can totally relate and agree with you. One thing that is fundamental to your very existence however, to live life at the fullest( to say the least ), is that you, and I likewise, HAVE to face the shadow and the Si. It is unbelievably brutal and scary for sure, believe me I have faced it to a great degree and especially when using psychedelics as a mean for inner exploration and to find what this life is all about, and what part I will play as my true self - once I find all the pieces of "me" and put it all together. I'm far from done yet, but I have come further in my evolution in a year, than I've done the last 10 years combined, at least. It is mind blowingly intense, the shadow side of us, and certainly more so with PTSD since the age of 2-3, with heavy stressors and fears and reject playing a part of life till many years across even adulthood. I know the dangers, the fear(s) and utter terror more than anyone I've ever met or known, and yet I'm not here to stop and let it be like it is, because I've seen the other side of it. The truth beyond the illusions, and there is nothing more rewarding in this lifetime than that, to BE and experience that fully. Even grasping it for a moment in time, is the most beautiful and literally epic thing there is. I highly suggest that other INFJs goes about the "Hero's journey" as well, and we'll change the world greatly, due to the change of the inner most being. Thank you for the brain food, and I wish you the best! :)
Something I think infj needs to realize-esp if type 4 ennegram is - yes, no matter how much validation, the flawed part of us is fully *their* perception. It is the way we see it, and we need to take ownership for it, and stop blaming others for not understanding us....because we certainly do not understand all others. Though many infj think they do, it's, again, but their perception. I'm isfp bit ennegram 4, so I have this issue as well, feeling chronically understood simply because the validation I need needs to be received by me *perfectly* in order to count. Needs to be understood by me. If it falls short, I reject it. Like a thinking type can understand pieces of me, even well, but because it's not worded or interpreted as satisfying to *me,* I decide to still feel flawed and misunderstood. It is great that I now realize this, and also understand that other types go through this as well-not feeling as understood by me- because their function lineup does not allow for them to process what I say, comfortably.
I think a lot of people are mistyped as INFJ and INTJ, or that they want to be these types bc they’re ‘rare, special, and intelligent’ and people who pick and choose types are likely to pick what they think other people think is the best. I see a lot of people bragging about being these two types. I’m never gonna learn to drive, btw. No thanks.
2 minutes in an this guy is insulting me, calling me arrogant, complicated, too fast, pridefully perfect, and a loner XD this is gonna be good. Because it's all exactly true.
I am an INFJ and just turned 61 yesterday. I have been working on myself through therapy off and on since my late twenties, and have had my butt kicked over some of the issues you brought up in your honest cartorial. So now, because I have had a giant damn mirror held in front of me all these torturous years, I finally get it. I go after what I want now because I am not walking around under a thunderstorm all the time, and that feels good. I am a LOT easier on myself. A lot. That also works because when I am kinder to myself, I am kinder and less judgemental with others. This has been a game changer. Thanks for your brutally honest assessment. Good stuff! Be well.
You can recover from a door slam. I had a 12 month door slam and have almost fully opened the door again. My door slam only came from telling the truth.
If a loyal person thinks they can coast on previous loyalty without having to continuously uphold the standards it's built upon, they can expect the door to slam just as suddenly.
I really appreciate your authenticity and insight. The first half made me flinch, because it brought up a lot of OLD patterns and behaviors that I don't like, and I wish hadn't happened. But it did help me to reflect on the ways I've grown, so that was nice. Your relationship insights are spot on. One thing I have noticed in my own case (and I wonder if this could be true of other INFJ) a lot of the reason I held myself back is because I don't want to be the cause of someone else feeling inferior or less than. I know how badly it sucks to feel that way, I don't want others to experience it. I didn't know that was happening FOR YEARS, until I was crashing and frustrated. We know we have a higher purpose, we really do want to go after it, but we feel held back. We think we're helping others by staying small, by staying down on the ground. It's not helping anyone.
I felt the exact same (seeing this video 2 years after your comment sorry😂) He mentioned a lot of things I used to do in my past and it made me cringe, but also realise I got passed those parts of me which I wasn’t necessarily proud of. Still alot of growth to do though! I think us INFJs just need to be as self aware as possible - the brutal honesty of this video helps that a lot & we need it. We love and respect honesty whether we’re giving it or receiving it! ❤️🥰
I wouldn't exactly say I've ever felt worthless, it's more like even when I was very young I felt like I understood more than those around me and felt patronized as a child because adults would assume I didn't understand things that I actually did. It's like that feeling of being underestimated, misunderstood, undervalued by others. That's why I value positive genuine compliments. I feel like people that see things that others miss are able to look deeper and have a different type of intelligence that I value.
Did you develop sarcasm really early like I did? Kids always thought I was being serious about what I was saying. At the time I didn't understand why the other kids didn't get it when I saw it as so obvious.
I really relate with you, especially having parents who underestimated and rejected my advice or insight, going even as far to tell me I was just "wrong" because I was a "child" and they were "the parent." Really made you grow up thinking you couldn't possibly ever be right about things, holding back your tongue and feeling extremely uncertain about your thoughts and ideas.
I like watching CS Joseph and he's more accurate about the functions than others I've seen online, but I have noticed his interpretation of some of the INFJ functions and how we use them is definitely a third person description and sometimes a little misunderstood and misinterpreted, but he's close enough for not being one and I like to hear how we look to a third person.
This video was a bit of a whirlwind for me. At first I was feeling a little defensive. I almost quit watching during the part about INFJs forcing their morality on everybody. But then I kept watching and my mind slowly changed. I don't feel like I force my morality on other people, but I went and asked my wife to be sure and she used the word 'standards'. I have very high standards apparently and I do like to try to herd people in the direction of those standards, even if they don't want it. Maybe that's another word for morality. The other thing was the loyalty testing. I don't want to admit I do that, but yikes I think I do. Also, all the stuff about needing validation, I also have to admit that I'm a sucker for that. I wish I didn't need it, but without it, I start to loose my path and can end up on a road to worthlessness pretty fast. I'm going to have to watch this again to pick up more of these ideas. I really like this video because a lot of the INFJ videos out there are basically just INFJ porn. Look how awesome we are! We're taking over the world! Nope, nope we're not lol. We need work just like everybody else. Maybe more work than everybody else.
Exactly man, all the videos out there I found only showing how great we are as an infj but duhh we are struggle, I mean I am struggling with the fi and seeking loyalty from people but idk about it until I watched this video.
Clayton Arnall i agree, i would show up every day at work for free if i were fairly apreciated there. Not put on a pedistal, but truly apreciated for my skills, yet understanding of my limitations. Its really hard to find a good place these days that knows you by your name rather then your employee number. I cant stand the generric corperatism. Nothing can make me feel anymore useless and unapreciated then that. Lol Id rather panhandle.
@Lou Alas my highly sensitive nature was at times debilitating. My spirit is one with all things living and because of that, I care too deeply. I have had to realize that, not all connect with reality in such a way (the "ego" gets in the way.) That realization has helped me to be more understanding and patient with others and navigate life's water more safely.
I think he's talking about infj-T (which stands for turbulent and they tend to be confused and stormy) maybe you are an infj-A (which is assertive we tend to be more positive firm and assured)
Bro, you can be a great life coach, you break our “ego” in the video by telling us the harsh truth about us, so we can change it. At the same time, you feed us words of encouragement and words of validation to fuel us up in life Overall, great video dude.
rcs INFJs are my favourite people because they are honest, have integrity, are interesting, passionate and usually speak in a warm monotone that is easy to listen to. As an INTJ I have found that I get along best with this type. Many of the channels I watch on TH-cam are run by INFJs.
"INFJ's can be and are inspirational, they just have to realize that they are not as worthless as the voices in their head tell them they are." Thank you buddy, I needed to hear that, that applies a lot. I love ENTP's Ti parent, parenting my Ti child, harsh sometimes but true. INFJ-ENTP relation ships are awesome.
ENTJ here! Thank you for pouring the best of your teachings out there.This is the best video for INFJ I’ve seen so far.💯👏 You really master this topics and have a great gifting for explaining the most abstract or hidden behavior of each personality type. Thank you very much❤️
Completely beside the point, but I love it when a man is deliberate about his choice to become physically intimate with a woman. Self control, deliberateness, honoring one's self and values....its the hottest thing in a man, and today's culture grieves me because it points to masses of people who live on impulse or ambiguity to their authentic self. I legitimately shed a tear of gratefulness, when you got to that part.
This is really great and mostly accurate! As an INFJ who has some INFJs in my life, I would advise against thinking we like shiny things and getting us jewellery! Jewellery only matters if it's meaningful due to the type of stone or who it belonged to or because it shows a deep understanding of who we are!
Agreed I really don't like being bought jewellery or clothing unless it has existing meaning (my mother giving me her locket for example) or they knew it was something that I really wanted and had been looking at. I often don't like recieving presents point blank, as I feel quite guilty and like there is an expectation to reciprocate. Saying that... When you talked about knick knacks from a fair like the copper - or tins or jugs interesting small things oooooooh I got so excited!!
For an INFJ with a high, developed Fi (enneagram 4 etc.) it is harder to find her/himself in this video. Because high Fi is providing a good balance when it comes to these weaknesses of Fe and as a result many of the points in this video like, "If INFJ's would be in the same environment with bad people, they also would be bad", "They need cudos, they are living for cudos", "Give them jewelry, a nice car, anything that makes them look good in front of people", "INFJ's need you to make sure they are not worthless." (This is not true my fellow INFJ's. You only need to balance your cognitive functions for this, you only need yourself) or "INFJ's want recognition, being social, being popular, status etc." will not be accurate for an INFJ with a high, developed Fi. But I still found some right points for sure (at least for me) like "imposing ethics/morals on people", "finding excuses", "judging people" or "the voice inside our heads that always telling us we are worthless" But I have to say this video is more likely about "Unhealthy", "Unbalanced" or" Immature" INFJ. Note: I think every INFJ should develop their opposite functions to be a balanced, healthy INFJ. But according to my experience, Fi is the most important one for our balance and our self-respect. Also, I think this is something that every type should try to do with their cognitive functions, not only INFJ's.
That's a very sensitive and clever comment. I also didn't find myself in accordance to many of the things he said. I even started questioning if I'm really an INFJ (guess that's something every INFJ does). In the end, every one of these personality tests only showcases a "general guide" to how someone feels or functions, me and you might be INFJ's but still be completely different. A stereotypical trait of an INFJ, might not be present on you, because you have already grown out of this mistake, you have matured. These personality tests are useful tools for making one reflect about themselves and how they could improve. But still, that's pretty much what they are. Don't get too attached to your INFJ label, or any other label for that matter. We can, and should, overcome those limits and become something else entirely different and better.
I let my husband watch this and he has no idea what the cognitive functions are. He said, "how do you know my wife so well?" I'm an INFJ. I do drive and if it was desperate situation I would steal for a good friend... after I gained some money I'd re-pay it. I do struggle with worth and perfectionism. I'm a psychology student and I wish to open a practice to help others.
I don’t think people really understand how stressful and exhausting it can be to be an infj and we don’t really give any credit to ourself, but we love when someone says back to us thank you, please or show appreciation that’s like a bonus but we also understand that not everyone can and will do that, also not sure why anyone would like to be an infj. when people say things to me like, you think your smart or special but deep down inside we don’t feel that it’s a shame, also we don’t usually pick up or follow people easily we can keep a distance and also separate ourself, but we would go the extra mile for friends or family which I guess will take time to manage but still working on accepting that people are very different and I try to step back and let them be without feeling guilty.
Having the occasional kudos almost always makes up for any amount of stress or effort I have put in. It might be a lonely life but as an introvert I don't mind it. I have learned to preface almost any real conversation with loved ones with some variation of "I don't mean to diminish your feelings, and this is going to sound judgmental, holier-than-thou, harsh, and brutal, but with the best intentions and with honest, open, observation, I determine the following to be accurate" It almost never works, but at least I do give them fair warning
This is giving me so many conflicted feelings. It definitely got better as time went on. It's so difficult to address because I feel like it's simultaneously spot on and also wrong. It's like you've picked up on some fascinating, subtle dynamics in how I think, but also over-emphasized them to kind of an extreme. It's really important to note that a lot of the time, the stuff you're talking about isn't like, a conscious choice. I don't try to hold others to a standard. On a logical, conscious level, I am a huge advocate for, "live and let live." I do have really high expectations for my friends, though. If I'm honest. If I really think about it. I do want friends in my life who care for me as much as I care for them. What's interesting is that you're kind of dead accurate for the entirety of my teenage years, and about the decade of my life that I spent depressed. I self sabotaged all of my relationships. A lot. The loyalty tests were real. They were ridiculous. I think what I've become is mostly quite different though. I need a lot of alone time. But, if I take the time to take care of my own well-being by getting time alone, when I do emerge for social contact I think I come off as pretty well-rounded now. ...For the most part. There are still times where this dynamic can hold true. Another area I kind of disagree is that I DO want a small tribe of close friends. Absolutely. I want people in my life who appreciate me and who can respect my differences. But, I really have no interest in being the alpha. I'm kind of always looking for friends with stronger personalities than mine who can kind of make the decisions in a social group. I overthink absolutely all of my choices- including ones that honestly don't matter. Questions that should take very little effort like, "Where do you want to eat as a group tonight?" spark a really long, thought out internal debate considering my own wants and needs, but also all the other people in the group. I'm, frankly, much happier if there's someone with more of an alpha personality who can just shot-call these unimportant details so that I never even have to start thinking about them. Of course, this only holds for areas that really are unimportant. I could be a bit different from most because I already have had some exposure to leadership in volunteer search and rescue and volunteer convention security. I find that I seem to find myself in leadership roles, but I really don't enjoy it once the novelty runs off. It makes me miserable, in fact. Being in charge means more pressure to be accurate with Ni Fe. The contradiction is that I want to be lead, but I also am very, very picky about who I let lead me. If some meat head tries to bully me into submission, I will do everything in my power to subvert them. I have taken down so many bullies in authority by making them act their worst right as someone in charge of them walks up behind them. I found the descriptions of the kinds of people we seek out to be interesting. I've definitely always looked for loyalty. But i've also often said that what I really /need/ in a close friend is someone to make sure I don't get hit by a bus crossing the street.
Talv Monster thank you so much for your long message. I enjoyed every word. I agree with you saying that some of these things are not done consciously and you are 100% correct. The shadow is unconscious after all :) Good luck to you on your journey.
'Someone to make sure I don't hit by a bus crossing the street'....so true, that is exactly what I want... I don't need or want puppies following me around. Just someone that will kindly say 'you missed that'.
@@cutieart1718 Yeah, this is a feature, not a bug. A: If you can't meet my moral standard why would I want you in my life? B: Just because I can't even maintain my own moral standard just means that I don't want myself (as I exist right now) in my life - Time to become better. I guess the trick is realizing that others must be given an opportunity to improve as well. You can't consider a single instance as a betrayal, it must be continuous, frequent, or intentional lapses
As an INFJ, I can relate with the whole mirroring people. It’s actually to the point where I don’t really know who I am. I can’t tell if I’m being fake or genuine to the people around me sometimes.
We mirror people to subconsciously walk in their shoes and understand them through our extroverted feeling function. The issue is, in the name/intent of preserving harmony, we end up staying too long in other's shoes and that's what ends up making us feel fake (because our shoes are left without anyone in them,so to speak and abandoning ourselves). Balance and experience is the key; there is a proverb that goes; "If/when the best tool you have in your toolbox is a hammer; all your problems begin to look like nails..." Basically our ability to mirror/empathise (via Fe) is our hammer(best socialising tool) when it comes to relating with people thus we tend to find ourselves overusing it in every situation(nail). It's a maturity problem; with time, growth, wisdom and experience we can hone our Fe and develop other tools that will allow us to balance feeling what others feel (mirroring their feelings) & also equally expressing our own authentically without fear of disrupting the harmony.
We do understand people. We do know very well why and how we're alienating people, we do it simply because we don't bother interacting with those people and prefer them viewing us as aliens to avoid any further interactions. We know very well how not to come across weird and act normal, we just need our breaks. Daily. Or hourly. Actually a constant break would be nice.
Sometimes I feel like walking in a freestyle wierd way. I allow myself to do it so that it shoos away the judgemental people who judge on insignificant things 😂
I think as an infj, one of the things that makes us succeed has to do precisely with the fact were so hard on ourselves and the fact that we create these high standards for ourselves which are often admittedly unrealistic but they push us to meet them regardless which results in the infj having the capacity to really hustle and get very far in life.
I don’t know what everyone in the comment section is talking about. Sure, some shots were fired but anyone with a growth mindset knows the truth will set you free, even if it hurts a little. This video was enlightening and perfectly describes my personality from childhood to early adulthood with the exception of "INFJs love getting flashy gifts and hearing praises/affirmations" (that one may be a bias from dating a female INFJ, male INFJs don't need those to thrive IMO). Overall, a great video, I subbed and liked! Thanks for taking the time to create it.
Maybe not the flashy gifts, but male INFJs do need praise, as rewatching this made me realize my dad is an INFJ. Also made me realize I have accessed my INFJ subconscious, but not in a good way. Uuuuugggghhh.
Hard for an INFJ to deny the power of a little truthful "hellfire" Definitely agree with not wanting flashy gifts, and I was surprised to hear about how we dress and such? Utility over style any day of the week I dislike being the center of attention and as such dislike public praise, but the few times it has happened are also among the most memorable moments in my life, so perhaps there's some truth there
I prefer thank yous to gifts. Unless someone gets me something I really need when I've been too busy taking care of someone to get it myself. That is the best.
I like gifts that I can use everyday. My daughter got me some socks a few years ago, I remember her every time I put them on. Only 1 pair left, sigh... She also got me a Starbucks mug. I drink my coffee in it every day :D
I’ve probably watched this lecture 20+ times. I’ve probably teared up half of the times I’ve viewed. Right now being one of those times. Thank you… so much Chase.
I find INFJs equal parts intriguing and intimidating. As an INFP, I find that we share similar interests and values, but there is a candor about the INFJ that can sometimes catch me off guard. It can feel rude or judgy, but I don’t think it’s intended to. INFJ is super intelligent, super insightful, and incredibly caring! I often feel ashamed of myself when I see how much the INFJ goes out of her way to do things for others. INFP is definitely more selfish.
I really appreciate this information. Being INFJ you have spoken of all levels of my life! You’ve brought to my attention how far I’ve come with my behavior and internal thinking. I’ve become extremely secure in my own self interior and exterior. I didn’t realize how healthy I’ve become . It’s almost like people can say ANYTHING to me and I’m not affected or insulted. I KNOW who I am and I KNOW I’m good And worthy. I know what I am and what I have I KNOW WHO I AM. But you have showed me how much work I’ve done to improve myself image. I find I’m still a target to Narcissistic ass holes that are constantly coming at me and I’m still getting hurt but it’s only my heart now because I’ve discovered that I am not what I used to think and no narcissist will ever convince me otherwise. I’m lonely for a life partner but I know it’s not (all) my fault. They are emotional vampires and they HATE that I can see them . I know what I do! I know where I go ! I know who I am! I know what I have and have done!( and doing) ! IVE LEARNED TO SAY NO!!! This man knows what he’s talking about! I’m so Dammed secure with myself people hate me. But guess what? I DONT CARE BECAUSE I KNOW WHO I AM NOW! I just need to learn not to give my heart to narcissistic soul killers! I’m about 75% successful in not getting taken by them. But those narcissists are absolutely fascinating though. It’s really strange and fascinating to watch them do what they do! I think that’s my problem now is I’m so fascinated by their complete lack of Conscience and empathy in their ability to look right at you with dead eyes and lie it’s fascinating and I’ve got to stop being someone who is watching this accident happening in front of me and I can’t take my eyes away until I realize the accidents happening to me because I’m just fascinated by their depth of almost like demonic possession! But enough . Thank you it’s people like you that hit me with the painful truth that I’m just fine and blessed and good. Oh I fought them hard for a minute but I’ve made great inroads due to people like you slamming with the truth! THANK YOU
To any INFJ ready to leave the video, stay. It’s for our own good, I was ready to do the same at the beginning but it’s just the cold truth about our flaws. Needless to say you accomplished to make a grown man cry sir, thank you for this.
My tears are proof of how CS Jospeh picked apart ALL THE PIECES of my inner self and assembled it and VALUED IT in a way that i never thought i'd hear from anyone....
If you are an infj, you are sensitive to criticism, possibly because you dislike giving others a bad experience, and take the criticism to heart. This is why this video can be difficult to hear. But, you also have the ability to gain knowledge in an objective way. Keep this in mind and you should be able to listen to this through to the end. His intention is not to hurt feelings but to educate. Personally, I don't think "tough love" approaches work very well for infjs, but again, they can separate their feelings, and recognize when someone is giving truly helpful advice. The only thing I might add, as someone who is on the receiving end of criticism, is in regards to the "whisper". I noticed myself doing it in 2 instances: 1. When I was feeling attacked by someone who didn't get what they wanted from me, then raised their voice to try to intimidate me into getting what they want, I, in hopes of bringing down the emotional temperature, lowered my voice. 2. When I was feeling tired and didn't want to extravert, but was trying to extravert because of social obligations, I lowered my voice. Since I now know people can see this as annoying or disrespectful, I try to keep my voice at "medium" volume. If I am really tired or feel like speaking quietly, I now opt to take more of the role of active listener, asking more questions than providing information. This has helped me when I felt the "whisper" coming on :)
@Leneah Hamel We are upset by criticism that isn't based in fact or reality. We are upset by sweeping judgments that do not apply to everyone. We appreciate thoughtful feedback. We will listen to what you have to say (we're great listeners), weigh it in our mind, then either make adjustments based upon your feedback or throw it in the trash. On the topic of the whisper, you have good insight. It is one of the parts of the video I agreed with wholeheartedly (although the delivery was typical ENTP). We adapt to other people and what they need (most of the time). So, if we are backing down and "whispering", it is a tool to steer the situation in a different direction. It's not something that should be criticized - it's quite clever actually.
“Tough love” was not natural for me, it was since childhood and I come from one of those tiger mom families, I had no choice. I now prefer the tough love method, why? Because I value fairness so much, and I realized it wasn’t fair for the person next to be working so hard and I’m not keeping up, basically being useless. I can’t stand the soft hands approach.
Me: thinking I’m too selfish to make all my choices for the sake of other people Also me: on days when I am not working as a caregiver, I sleep in till 10 and don’t eat till 5pm and generally don’t take care of myself because no one is expecting anything from me
As an INFJ, you are an incredible dude. Thanks for sharing this information, extremely valuable for understanding my life, what gives me meaning and how to relate to and understand the people around me.
Around the 10min is where my response comes in to play: To an extent the INFJ can absorb or become like their environment or the people they are around: Try to fit in. But they will fight pretty fiercely for something they truly believe in. They aren't going to suddenly stop believing what they believe just that fast unless there are actual details or facts that they can pull where ever and piece it altogether to tell them what they previously believed is no longer true.
Man! This guy can talk! No matter how passionate I found a subject, I'd need 2 days rest after delivering a talk like this. I need a rest after listening! It seems like he has met a lot of immature INFJ's.
Seriously, thank you so much for being so honest. I feel like no one in my entire life loves me enough to tell me the truth and give honest feedback. How am I supposed to calibrate if no one lets me know where I’m at? Much love and appreciation!
"INFJs arent aware of what other people think!". Holy crap. Is that why i'm always asking people what they think about things when I work on projects with them?
zeroangelmk1 yes that is correct. Also why talking about subject matter that others already know or have already concluded previously. It’s what makes an INFJ a J type. Always looking for outside judgment from others.
No. Sorry. You ask because you want to be understood as it can easily happen to anyone. To be misunderstood. Don't let videos like this tell you who you are. But there are many other videos that literally show the full circle truth of INFJ as well as others of course. And the lighter aspects of even the shadow aspects. The highest potentials etc. Don't believe anything for a moment that at all diminishes and or puts you down! You are a powerful being as all of us are. Never forget that. 💖💖💖💖💖💖
Stop the self abuse. Coming from another INFJ. Check out the wounded INFJ videos. You must heal or you will end up a wreck. And it pains me to see other INFJs this way. Please. Find your light again and shine it warm and broad.
I must admit. I was not a fan of this video at first as an INFJ but the longer I watched it the more it grew on me. It is different because I am under the impression that the most videos that I see about personality types are for INFJ's and are sugarcoated up for us. As he Joseph said, "it was the highest requested," in the beginning of this video. I appreciate your honesty but I would be willing to put some cash down that your/his experiences with us have left a scar. I will say this however, my favorite part was when the word "mature" came out. When I was young more of this video would relate to me a lot more than it does now. I have done my fair share of dwelling on trials and tribulations and feeling like a piece of shit but that opportunity also allowed me to grow. I unknowingly self identified my short falls within this personality type and have been working on them ever since. I 100% agree that we can change the world if our untapped potential was unleashed.
I was trying to determine if I was an intj or infj. I watched the intj video, and halfway through I quit watching because it seemed like he was just subjectively criticizing the intj. However when I watched the infj one I still thought he was being critical, but not subjectively. Everything connected with me so much it hurt and I realized he actually does know what he's talking about. I didn't feel hurt by the intj video, just annoyed. But that is a clear sign that I'm most likely just not an intj because I don't relate to his criticism. I've watched many of his videos now and I'm thinking that the people who are in disagreement with his criticisms are probably not an infj. The criticism hurts because it is so true and hasn't been accurately detailed by any other youtubers. If you don't feel the honesty and shame from the video then I'd say it may be a good idea to watch the other videos of the types most similar to infj.
I was thinking the same thing. The criticism is true but when dealing with a undeveloped infj that has not dealt with life because of the comfort of living a life of living with the parents or just plan old sheltered life where the infj has not experienced much. Being compared to an sheltered infj that lacks experiences sounds like an exaggeration but one must lesson carefully also it is good to keep in mind that alot of people type themselves what they consider good personalitys instead of the truth.
C.S Joseph, i can't thank you enough for this lecture, it's simply amazing. There's no beating around the bush, you just tell the thruth directly and, although it hurts a lot, i couldn't be more grateful, i really needed to hear that. In terms of personal growth, since the first time i watched it, this video has been helping me more than anything anyone has ever told/done to me. Because of this lecture i feel that i'm finally making progress as a person. Thanks a lot!
Yea we are even complicated to ourselves. We are not really perfectionist because we procrastinate all the time so we end up doing nothing so the perfectionism never happens. Lol
Well, for me...I'm a perfectionist. I hate it sometimes. I watch how others can just get up and go with any given topic or any given task. But, it drives me CRAZY how they start without a plan etc lol Although, as we mature, this isn't such a huge mountain to climb, I find. I've learnt to dial down the perfectionism with more mindless and small things. I think we typically learn this as we mature. I'm working on a plan to create a comic book and it's kicked my perfectionist into over drive >,< -INFJ
I am a detail-oriented perfectionist. Only useful in certain circumstances. But I do not expect perfection from others, only myself. For other people I know no one is perfect so it's OK if they make mistakes. So strange, right? But when faced with an overwhelming task, I don't know where to start. And if I know it won't be perfect, why even bother. Then the procrastination kicks in and I beat myself up even more. I don't need other people to beat me up, thanks anyway, I do it more than enough myself. I heard a word for the perfectionist procrastination cycle: we are Procrastifectionists
Simple solution, this is like downloading a cheat code. Watch vice and virtue for INFJ. We're like mirrors. When around ppl who procrastinate, we begin to procrastinate. When around people who never procrastinate, we never procrastinate. Don't have those amazing ppl to be around? Listen to them speak on TH-cam, like Kobe Bryant, go about your day, and begin mirroring Kobe. Done
50 yr old INFJ here. It took me until I was 39 to become aware of these personality traits so well described in this video. For myself I happened upon Eckhart Tolle on Oprah’s book club. I then gave up the job I had, sold everything and went wandering in the wilderness. I recognize the messiah complex in me and have a strong desire to lead change in this world. I’m still on the journey... Thanks again for this video :)
Honestly you sound like someone hurt you as an INFJ, and now you are trying to point out one person's downfalls. So much of this doesn't even make sense to a well-developed INFJ.
I thought the same thing. I was that way when I was younger, to a degree. Also, no I don’t really like to drive but I do & I’ve never been comfortable receiving gifts. We don’t all fit into a little box. No matter the type.
What is Success? by Ralph Waldo Emerson “To laugh often and much; to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children; to earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends; to appreciate the beauty; to find the best in others; to leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch or a redeemed social condition; to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded!”
Shared this one to 2 INFJ groups i been on fb and got some positive comments about it. Some are even thankful i shared it to them! More power to your channel!
Watched the entire video and I'm very impressed. You've explained these traits so accurately and honestly. I couldn't believe how accurate you are... thank you
Revisiting this masterpiece. This stuff is really like magic. Once you have identified someone's type, it's like you can read into the depths of their very being, identify what makes them tick, what they hate, what they want etc.
Ok, this was harsh, and 99% true. The false was: In no way shape or form do I cheat to see if someone will stay with me, that compromises my morals. I do absolutely love shiny copper, especially the size of my fist because it's pretty, however, I loathe nicknacks, they clutter my space and I hate it. I do not care about having an Audi or other material possession because of the "status" factor, period. It's morally compromising to me to have accumulated wealth while people literally starve on the streets. INFJ guilt is way too strong for that behavior, it has literally made me cry seeing people without shoes when I have a closet full at home. However, I do like nice things (clothes and cars!) because I want them to last and not have to go shopping and participate in capitalism/ materialism on a regular basis. Additionally, I loathe maintenance of myself, including possessions. However, I do absolutely love nice cars! I feel that everyone should have one because they are fun. It isn't a status thing for me. Everything else was eerily accurate, at different phases in my life of course.
Whuuut? I LOVE material things! I love wealth, I love Audis and I like things of good quality. It's because I love beautiful things. I wouldn't feel guilty at all, if I had won the lottery. I deserve it. But I wouldn't keep it to myself. I'd give a lot to projects or ppl in need. The more I'd win, the more I'd share. Money is a necessity. I didn't invent it, but it is like it is and the more you have, the more wonderful things you can experience, own and do with it. Isn't the hippie thing reserved for INFPs?
First the amount of time you can hold that board is almost supernatural. And as an INTP trying to charm a what looks like an INFJ this is so fucking accurate !!
Wow when you went to the far dark side of INFJ it was actually beautiful and helped me see that I'm not nearly as dysfunctional and insecure as I thought I was and also see where past problems came from. Your style of calling out the b.s. and at the same time being compassionate is awesome thank you
I am an INFJ. I do know how to drive (unless I am too much in my head or dealing with too many negative emotions while doing so.) I could end up seriously hurting or killing someone due to negligent driving, and I do not want that blood on my hands. I used to be more childish and verbally lash out at people when I felt underappreciated, or as if someone was not being loyal to me. Now I am mostly just blunt (in a not so violent manner) with people that have actually crossed the line, and then I silently walk away with my sad emotions feeling like they are ripping at my soul. I absolutely hate hurting people in any kind of way, but I only truly get angry when somebody has messed with someone I deeply care for; lacks basic consideration of a human being; or is mean to an animal. Taking care of myself is something I struggle with; more so when I am anxious or depressed. I mostly end up not eating enough, or getting enough sleep. Loyalty and appreciation are EXTREMELY important to me. I extend a big "thank you" to you for making this video. Thank you so much for being truthful, and for believing in every INFJ. We are our biggest critics for sure.
I am an INFJ and I do not trust myself behind a wheel. Isnt it strange that we humans drive vehicles?.... Its anti logic. I definitely do not trust myself to drive.
I am an INFJ and NEVER push my views or morality onto people - I do my very best to be respectful of others and expect the same in return - I am assertive but not aggressive or hostile. Maybe you are referring to people who are underdeveloped emotionally or have been SERIOUSLY damaged. And No - I haven't been miss-typed. I hope you can open your mind enough to realize that your generalizations may not apply to ALL INFJs or even SOME INFJs. Btw: I don't need or like bling or fancy cars. I think you are incorrect on so much and hope you can accept this feedback without telling me that I have been miss-typed.
I dont like bling either. I might like *some* jewelry but I really don't wear it that much. Im not mistyped either. I explored several personality types and Im not any of the others. I do agree with Susan's comment.
Well who would have thought that some people won't fit in exactly with the tendencies described. Admirable defence but not terribly relevant unless an army follow through with a similar gripe.
As INFJ i just want to show gratitude for the new perspective and empowerment i received , u really helped me with moving on with my life and now I can see real difference, thank you
I think INFJ'S are much like the ISFP's except we go deeper into ourselves than the ISFP. For a long time i thought I was an ISFP, then INFP then I discovered this video and now I know without a shadow of doubt I'm an INFJ and the weird thing is I took so many tests but never got my correct type INFJ. Also, I've noticed in my romantic relationships I always go above and beyond to make my significant other comfortable and would do anything in my power to make them happy. I do expect that back and I'm always severely let down but then end up blaming myself for being so stupid to even expect another person to be so loyal and self sacrificing it's really not a reality for most people and I have to remind myself of that. And to be that way can sometimes even hurt and enable others. For my entire childhood and into my early 20's my Te trickster literally tricked me into thinking everyone thought like I did, I quickly learned I was very different.
Your son , an infj , is blessed to have a father like you.. to us all you are very giving especially your brutal honesty, you must really care .. thanks
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C.S. Joseph: “this is maybe one of my top favorite personality types”
*spends an hour yelling angrily at all INFJs*
I cannot comfort anyone into wisdom.
Brooklynne
Oh my god XD
I came here to say this but you beat me to it 🤣
I like this guy 🤣💀🤷🏼♀️
See, now it makes sense... Don't do that... "Don't guilt the IFNJ, man!" ;)
C.S. Joseph makes me want to hug him for understanding exactly how I feel and also slap him in the face for being sarcastic and hurting my feelings.
Felt the same. Like a rude awakening.
Innit
Ditto
SAME 😩!
He acts like my older brother insults me and rudely points my flaws but hugs me and says it’ll be ok though Lil bro🥺
No one is talking about how long he hold that board in his hands
Probably putting his elbow on something
lol
Hahaha!! Totally!
that’s not his hand it’s one of those toy ones for halloween
😂😂😂😅
INFJs be like,, I don't deserve to be an INFJ they must be great and special and I could never,,
My chest
@Cursed_BrianFreakingMay 123 it is
🤣🤣🤣🤣
Exactly
This is so accurate 😭
C.S. Joseph realizing that most of the comments are from INFJs and likes them all because he knows how much we need recognition:)
*give this man a medal please*
I'm infp, but it feels like he's talking about me in this video. Trust issues regarding loyalty, failure to launch, the love for jewelry and words of affirmation from our s.o., the need to know the rules of engagement and plans for the future in a relationship, mirroring, not having a consistent sleeping pattern... All of it.
Yes we do 😭 I just found this man and I love him for understanding me
@@ayeshak6822 found in the meantime that I'm an INFP too, but felt legitimately understood while he was describing infjs, like with the mirroring, whisper, wolf pack loyalty, don't really recall others now, hm, but maybe there is more in common between the types when we look at specific aspects. This features though are less discussed or unmentioned in the infp video and because they are nonetheless important to us, we feel a better connection with the infj description. But this are only tangential features and it doesn't mean it's your type if you fit them. The motivation behind them might differ (for example depression being caused by lack of appreciation in infps and infj just feel useless constantly¿idk I think - watch infps video of CS Joseph responds for that). Also at first I thought I had performing anxiety but it's just social anxiety(admitting I fear what others think about me seemed the hardest). Also I realised after more ppl noticed in me that I put great value on my feelings (but when I was 16-17 I couldn't even conceive that, cause in my environment feelings weren't allowed). I think that is better to look at the whole picture, be true to yourself, but, well, I needed time for that and wasn't that easy (I'm 19 now and when I was younger I was very judgy with all the pinky pie inpf stuff- but stop looking down at infp, really, even I after I saw that I'm one I continued for a while to believe that this type has the worst defects of all and just accepted that as a condamnation:)). But no. Really. You're who you are and can do better no matter what pulls you down.
Not finished, this one is important for me. The thing that triggered me the most was the fact that I had no boundaries for myself, I wish to inpfs to never experience that but to realise it as soon as possible, listen to Robert Glover please. Save your dignity and most importantly, TEST it, cause will come a time where you've build all this moral principle theoretically and at the first real challenge they will collapse.
I seem to have wrote my Fi book, yes. I just want to help infps and to make infjs and infps to not get mistyped, this lead to so much anger (since when infps hold so little patience and want to attack another person? From what I saw at some ppl though) . I don't consider someone's exclusive fault that we didn't get it the right way, but how will anger help with finding a solution? Search it individually and don't close possibilities, even if it's an extra effort
İ loved this comment ahaha
he doesn't do it, that's what he pays the maid for... ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
He knows how to speak to us INFJs. Rip apart us but build us up at the same time.
Yes degrade me daddy 😍😍😍
Im sorry-
@@user-do5px8ho1h 😂😂😂
The hell with what a non INFJ has to say...over half of what was said was opinion base
He's a narcissist
I’m an INFJ.
I like this guy. I like the no bullshit analysis.
Any INFJ who is actually serious about personal growth will listen to the uncomfortable truths that this guy brings up.
My speculation is that the "complaints" are coming from mature, healthy INFJs who see the video as filled with petty attacks on immature, unhealthy INFJs. If most of this video does indeed resonate, then you are correct, you should consider the points that he makes and translate that into a plan for actionable self-growth. As INFJs we can indeed appreciate the honest, direct nature of an ENTP. However, as I pointed out in a lengthy diatribe last week, INFJs who are on the side nearer to being fully developed simply won't tolerate the ENTPs tendency to come across as arrogant and condescending. We've been through the self-growth and see a better way to guide people. As I put it, the ENTP feeds into and supports an unhealthy INFJs lack of self-worth through their methods. I'm going to say that is unhealthy, but I don't have any empirical evidence to back that up.
Yea intstead of pander about how much we try to help people whem thats not even the half of it.
he has done a gr8 job, some INFJs need it in the face to overcome thr inferiority and insecurities.
thnx man, for in the face analysis, it helped me us lot to overcome our inferiorities and insecurities.
I'm not going to say you're wrong, but I'm not going to say he's right either. I'm just going to say that he would get knocked the fuck out talkin to me like that in real life
"Infj's dont even keep a regular sleep pattern... " watching this at 1am on a work night... Sounds right.
Rewatching past 10:30pm when I should have been asleep at 10pm because I'm working on me damn it 🤣
5am....
6:25 am. Haven’t slept yet 😭😂
Went to bed at 7pm, woke up at midnight, here I am almost at noon. Golly.
replied on 01:02 am
I want to start by saying I agree with a lot lot lot of what you say about infjs, but as an infj, I feel compelled to introduce a different perspective. I see that to you, infjs alienate people by requiring a high moral standard. And we do strive for that high moral standard in people we surround ourselves with, but we are ok with failures in others. Because of Fe, we're not going to make someone feel bad for failing. We only ask for effort. Just try. If you try and it's obviously not something you can maintain, we wouldn't want you to keep stressing yourself over it. We just want to know people are working toward becoming better people like we are. I understand that in itself is selfish, we want others to spend the same effort we do for others, but it's because society needs everyone to try to be better. Yes we will fail sometimes, but we will also succeed sometimes. That's what we have our eyes on.
S. S. Cookies I can’t read your whole comment but I never connected my interest in religion with my INFJ personality but it makes perfect sense ! It ties into my idealism and self-improvement tendencies.
wow this is me in a nutshell. I really get frustrated that people would think "I" think I'm that moral. I know I'm not! I am AlWAYS trying to improve myself to get to achieve that goodness I think we all have inside of us. I just do not understand why others wouldn't aim for that. This is where I start sounding "in your face" about it because its not my place to judge those that don't strive for being the best they can be. but damnit I can't stand lazy people that don't try.... I am just trying to help them be better! GAH, ha ha. but really I just want them to try. I know that people have a hard time being good all the time, I know I do, but honestly if you put forth some work then you can become so much better. And when we are all a little better it makes A BIG better! Come on people lets try! What the hell else do you have to do with your life????
@@shelbysongy2666 I feel EXACTLY the same! I just can't conceive not wanting to at least try to be better. Sometimes I get really depressed because of this, because people, and especially if it's people I care about, don't seem to care or make an effort to be better and make things better for everyone. Even when it's so clear to me, and I tell them how they could do that.
I guess that might be "holding people to impossible standards" 😅 but I'm the first person I hold to those standards so...
@@elisabettaeaglesham1858 do you know how many times I've had to hurt myself to do the right thing so Im not a hypocrite? Meaning I probably could have wiggled myself out of a dilemma but because I push for everyone to be their best and take responsibility for their actions I have to as well. Sometimes that sucks, ha ha but I do it. That's why I don't know why others can't. Perhaps we have it all wrong, though? Maybe we shouldn't put so much effort into society? Perhaps everyone else has it right? Cut corners, cheat, lie, be lazy, lacking empathy, ect. Maybe they live the better life since they don't hold themselves accountable? Sometimes I wish my inner critic would shut the hell up but he has a megaphone that is loud, lol! Oh well, rambling now.
@@shelbysongy2666 @shelby songy I totally get what you're saying! Sometimes I think it might be true, that not caring so much about "doing the right thing" might be a better way to live. And I'm not innocent of doing that myself sometimes, especially if "mirroring" someone else I guess haha. But in the end I think it's a question of balance, when it doesn't really matter it's fine to let yourself off the hook every now and then, but if it's something important I think taking the harder path is always the best choice in the end! Even if we have to deal with the screaming inner critic 😅
C. S. Joseph: "I don't recommend picking up INFJs out of jail."
Oh is that where they all are
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
"You wouldn't be isolating yourself from all your friends and complaining about being lonely" 🤣🤣🤣 #ivebeenshot
Saaaaaaame
Lmaoo
It’s a bit mean.
All my friends? It was me catering for their problems and feelings and when I needed them they where not there for me. There is just one friend I have and that is me. There is no loyalty from others. Every INFJ knows this deep inside.
he tells no lies
I just aboud cried when you said you believe in INFJs and that we're not as worthless as the voices in our head tell us we are. The best therapist I've had constantly made a point to remind me that, and also he got me into the habit of every time I thought someone didn't like me anymore (because I don't think of it as betrayal, but as the person being fed up with me and wanting to leave me), to remind myself that those small changes are not solid proof that they disliked me. I still have some trouble with it, but I've gotten better although I can fall back into old habits.
Edit: One of my best friends once told me "You frustrate me because it doesn't matter if I think you're amazing, you just can't seem to get it" and that makes me cry every time I think about it.
While it hurts in the moment, and leaves an impression in the memory, I tend to push people away after I feel I have helped them as much as I can, and about when I want my own personal space back. I see all relationships as incontrovertible responsibilities that I can't brake off without consent. The truest action a friend of an INFJ can make is to let us go. While I feel we could be life long friends, I don't think we're meant to
What if instead of saying "they think" your friend said "they felt you're amazing"? I think as a society we do not feel much because of freeze, and so much what passes for feeling and emotions is superficial. If there was more feeling in friendship there'd be more wholeness instead of overanalysing every behavior.
@@nvliaenIt's a bit late now but... Make comparisons. It's not enough to make compliments because Fi critic and Te trickster can't really give value to that compliment. They go like "What do I do with this? Does she know a bunch of stupid people and I'm just slightly less stupid? Am I really wise or am I just a bit less immature? Is she saying it just to make me feel better?" and so on. Compare her skill, her kindness, her intelligence to someone she respect and idealize. She sees the best in other people (even when there isn't), so if you say she is equal or even better than that (and prove it with examples) she should get it. But the best is to compare her to her previous self, to make her realize how much she improved over time. Because Si demon keeps track of every failure but doesn't keep track of her achievements (so nice to have, ik).
C.S. Joseph: "They need to get off their asses"
Me, an INFJ, sitting in bed watching TH-cam at 11am when I should be doing more productive things: I feel personally attacked.
Me sitting all day in my bed watching INFJ personality videos feeling personally attacked too
Story of my life
I say the same
Me right now lol
I am literally doing that rn lmao
this was 40 minutes of being slapped, but thanks
Yeah. Se demon my friend.
usually ya gotta spend a few hundred and learn german for that sort of thing :D
LOL right?
🤣🤣🤣
@@ryanweible9090 I'M DEAD 💀💀💀
"Truly, I tell you, one of you will betray me" (Jesus, INFJ)
After hearing about the Ne nemesis, this quote makes much more sense to me 😂
So, you're telling me Jesus was an INFJ? 🤔
Ne isn’t really that useful though.
Why do I feel validated and berated at the same time? I wanted to say "Hoorah" while at the same time shake my head and slap you through the screen. What interesting emotional responses...
admentlore saruno that’s what ENTPs do lol
admentlore saruno so much same. I came to the comments to see if anyone else felt that way. Like, damn lol
Yes, exactly. Lol
Same
Constance Perkins SAME! 😂😤😁
Good on you to bring up INFJ flaws. I'm so sick of reading materials which tell us how special we are. We don't need an ego boost, and we don't need validation. I get validated by people all the time and I *still* know i'm deeply flawed, and I *still* feel like a failure. I've become keenly aware that there are parts of my personality hidden even from myself. I don't have that self-analysis ability because parts of my personality are hidden inside my shadow, and looking into the shadow is a fearful place to be and a source of many of my anxieties. So thank you. Thank you for being honest, and for tempering your analysis with a compassionate outlook towards us more neurotic INFJs.
zeroangelmk1 you are most welcome
Agree.
I can totally relate and agree with you. One thing that is fundamental to your very existence however, to live life at the fullest( to say the least ), is that you, and I likewise, HAVE to face the shadow and the Si. It is unbelievably brutal and scary for sure, believe me I have faced it to a great degree and especially when using psychedelics as a mean for inner exploration and to find what this life is all about, and what part I will play as my true self - once I find all the pieces of "me" and put it all together.
I'm far from done yet, but I have come further in my evolution in a year, than I've done the last 10 years combined, at least.
It is mind blowingly intense, the shadow side of us, and certainly more so with PTSD since the age of 2-3, with heavy stressors and fears and reject playing a part of life till many years across even adulthood.
I know the dangers, the fear(s) and utter terror more than anyone I've ever met or known, and yet I'm not here to stop and let it be like it is, because I've seen the other side of it. The truth beyond the illusions, and there is nothing more rewarding in this lifetime than that, to BE and experience that fully. Even grasping it for a moment in time, is the most beautiful and literally epic thing there is.
I highly suggest that other INFJs goes about the "Hero's journey" as well, and we'll change the world greatly, due to the change of the inner most being.
Thank you for the brain food, and I wish you the best! :)
Something I think infj needs to realize-esp if type 4 ennegram is - yes, no matter how much validation, the flawed part of us is fully *their* perception. It is the way we see it, and we need to take ownership for it, and stop blaming others for not understanding us....because we certainly do not understand all others. Though many infj think they do, it's, again, but their perception. I'm isfp bit ennegram 4, so I have this issue as well, feeling chronically understood simply because the validation I need needs to be received by me *perfectly* in order to count. Needs to be understood by me. If it falls short, I reject it. Like a thinking type can understand pieces of me, even well, but because it's not worded or interpreted as satisfying to *me,* I decide to still feel flawed and misunderstood. It is great that I now realize this, and also understand that other types go through this as well-not feeling as understood by me- because their function lineup does not allow for them to process what I say, comfortably.
I think a lot of people are mistyped as INFJ and INTJ, or that they want to be these types bc they’re ‘rare, special, and intelligent’ and people who pick and choose types are likely to pick what they think other people think is the best. I see a lot of people bragging about being these two types. I’m never gonna learn to drive, btw. No thanks.
2 minutes in an this guy is insulting me, calling me arrogant, complicated, too fast, pridefully perfect, and a loner
XD this is gonna be good. Because it's all exactly true.
Absolute truth
Infj: *exists*
Chase: Seriously sTaHp
Ahahahahahahaahahah that was a good one my dude 😂😂😂
Are u a infj uji pa gaz 😂 shqiptar?
Infp-t dhe fanse e Myers-Brigs test
I am an INFJ and just turned 61 yesterday. I have been working on myself through therapy off and on since my late twenties, and have had my butt kicked over some of the issues you brought up in your honest cartorial. So now, because I have had a giant damn mirror held in front of me all these torturous years, I finally get it. I go after what I want now because I am not walking around under a thunderstorm all the time, and that feels good. I am a LOT easier on myself. A lot. That also works because when I am kinder to myself, I am kinder and less judgemental with others. This has been a game changer. Thanks for your brutally honest assessment. Good stuff! Be well.
This is a 1 hour long ENTP-INFJ BDSM session
Love me some ENTP but I like the INTJs just a little bit more … could never be myself around the ENTPs…….
INFJ tough lesson: you can't save everyone.
A lesson I'm coming to learn now.
Tough lesson to learn... it’s a disappointing lesson to learn 😕
I am an INFJ and you could not convince me of this. I WILL save everyone. ;)
I've come to accept that. I'll take who I can get.
@Shimohira Reika you're spoiling the fate zero.
Why are you yelling at me ...?
Edit: But thank you for holding up the board for so long 😘
Alva Septiantya funniest comment ive read today 😂
😂👏
Awwwwh
His arm must be aching, i know my ears are. 🌈🦄
I literally cried when you said
"Give them recognition"
Cuz it was the reason of why I always felt depressed and unloved
This helps a lot Thank you ❤
Wow, I'm not the only one?🥺
I did too 😅
Never push a loyal person to the point they don't give a damn.
Or expect a door slam.
☺️
You can recover from a door slam. I had a 12 month door slam and have almost fully opened the door again. My door slam only came from telling the truth.
Amen!
Spittin' bars
Door-slammed my whole family🙏
If a loyal person thinks they can coast on previous loyalty without having to continuously uphold the standards it's built upon, they can expect the door to slam just as suddenly.
5 min in :Stop punching my soul.
10 min in: Even though you are clearing my dents.
20 min in : Go on it feels good.
End: ohhhh, thats why iam me. ohhh
I really appreciate your authenticity and insight. The first half made me flinch, because it brought up a lot of OLD patterns and behaviors that I don't like, and I wish hadn't happened. But it did help me to reflect on the ways I've grown, so that was nice. Your relationship insights are spot on.
One thing I have noticed in my own case (and I wonder if this could be true of other INFJ) a lot of the reason I held myself back is because I don't want to be the cause of someone else feeling inferior or less than. I know how badly it sucks to feel that way, I don't want others to experience it. I didn't know that was happening FOR YEARS, until I was crashing and frustrated. We know we have a higher purpose, we really do want to go after it, but we feel held back. We think we're helping others by staying small, by staying down on the ground. It's not helping anyone.
Yep
Definitely relatable
I felt the exact same (seeing this video 2 years after your comment sorry😂) He mentioned a lot of things I used to do in my past and it made me cringe, but also realise I got passed those parts of me which I wasn’t necessarily proud of. Still alot of growth to do though! I think us INFJs just need to be as self aware as possible - the brutal honesty of this video helps that a lot & we need it. We love and respect honesty whether we’re giving it or receiving it! ❤️🥰
lol "I HAVE FAITH IN YOU! STOP BEING A WALKING CONTRADICTION!" Nicely said. thanks
Yes I am an INFJ , never tell me what to do , give me the choice. Freedom forms my core value.
And this is why some of my best friends are ENTP's. If they can break you down so efficiently and STILL be amazed at you...that says a lot.
It's true and very real
I wouldn't exactly say I've ever felt worthless, it's more like even when I was very young I felt like I understood more than those around me and felt patronized as a child because adults would assume I didn't understand things that I actually did. It's like that feeling of being underestimated, misunderstood, undervalued by others. That's why I value positive genuine compliments. I feel like people that see things that others miss are able to look deeper and have a different type of intelligence that I value.
Did you develop sarcasm really early like I did? Kids always thought I was being serious about what I was saying. At the time I didn't understand why the other kids didn't get it when I saw it as so obvious.
I really relate with you, especially having parents who underestimated and rejected my advice or insight, going even as far to tell me I was just "wrong" because I was a "child" and they were "the parent." Really made you grow up thinking you couldn't possibly ever be right about things, holding back your tongue and feeling extremely uncertain about your thoughts and ideas.
So true
I like watching CS Joseph and he's more accurate about the functions than others I've seen online, but I have noticed his interpretation of some of the INFJ functions and how we use them is definitely a third person description and sometimes a little misunderstood and misinterpreted, but he's close enough for not being one and I like to hear how we look to a third person.
And yes, I was pretty sarcastic was a child.
This video was a bit of a whirlwind for me. At first I was feeling a little defensive. I almost quit watching during the part about INFJs forcing their morality on everybody. But then I kept watching and my mind slowly changed. I don't feel like I force my morality on other people, but I went and asked my wife to be sure and she used the word 'standards'. I have very high standards apparently and I do like to try to herd people in the direction of those standards, even if they don't want it. Maybe that's another word for morality. The other thing was the loyalty testing. I don't want to admit I do that, but yikes I think I do. Also, all the stuff about needing validation, I also have to admit that I'm a sucker for that. I wish I didn't need it, but without it, I start to loose my path and can end up on a road to worthlessness pretty fast. I'm going to have to watch this again to pick up more of these ideas. I really like this video because a lot of the INFJ videos out there are basically just INFJ porn. Look how awesome we are! We're taking over the world! Nope, nope we're not lol. We need work just like everybody else. Maybe more work than everybody else.
Clayton Arnall thank you for your honesty. It is appreciated. Might I recommend watching the Virtue and Vice vid for the INFJ.
My reactions, too!
Exactly man, all the videos out there I found only showing how great we are as an infj but duhh we are struggle, I mean I am struggling with the fi and seeking loyalty from people but idk about it until I watched this video.
Clayton Arnall i agree, i would show up every day at work for free if i were fairly apreciated there. Not put on a pedistal, but truly apreciated for my skills, yet understanding of my limitations. Its really hard to find a good place these days that knows you by your name rather then your employee number. I cant stand the generric corperatism. Nothing can make me feel anymore useless and unapreciated then that. Lol Id rather panhandle.
Exactly how i felt brother ! lmfao
props to him for holding that shit up for nearly a whole hour
I'm a mature 40 yr old infj. Often he speaks about a younger version of myself.
Is it generally true the bell curve for the INFJ personally type starts higher then most types?
@Lou Alas my highly sensitive nature was at times debilitating. My spirit is one with all things living and because of that, I care too deeply. I have had to realize that, not all connect with reality in such a way (the "ego" gets in the way.) That realization has helped me to be more understanding and patient with others and navigate life's water more safely.
Yes 🤣
I think he's talking about infj-T (which stands for turbulent and they tend to be confused and stormy) maybe you are an infj-A (which is assertive we tend to be more positive firm and assured)
Truth - a much appreciated analysis of the younger, underdeveloped self.
Im an INFJ.This is accurate but not 100% of the whole picture.
What does the rest of the picture look like?
Bro, you can be a great life coach, you break our “ego” in the video by telling us the harsh truth about us, so we can change it. At the same time, you feed us words of encouragement and words of validation to fuel us up in life
Overall, great video dude.
Yeah agree, kudos! There, mirroring 😂
I am an INTJ and seriously, INFJs are my favourite people ☺
jenlovesthisstuff yeah I love INFJs.
I'd LOVE INTJs in my life, just saying!
Why are infjs your favorite people?
rcs INFJs are my favourite people because they are honest, have integrity, are interesting, passionate and usually speak in a warm monotone that is easy to listen to. As an INTJ I have found that I get along best with this type. Many of the channels I watch on TH-cam are run by INFJs.
INFJ here with an INTJ boyfriend of almost 5 years. This pairing isn’t talked about often but man does it work ☺️
"INFJ's can be and are inspirational, they just have to realize that they are not as worthless as the voices in their head tell them they are." Thank you buddy, I needed to hear that, that applies a lot.
I love ENTP's Ti parent, parenting my Ti child, harsh sometimes but true. INFJ-ENTP relation ships are awesome.
Ew, I don't like ENTPs AT ALL
@@miriamschmitz394 it's because you are still immature -ENTP
@@miriamschmitz394 Sorry
ENTJ here! Thank you for pouring the best of your teachings out there.This is the best video for INFJ I’ve seen so far.💯👏 You really master this topics and have a great gifting for explaining the most abstract or hidden behavior of each personality type. Thank you very much❤️
Completely beside the point, but I love it when a man is deliberate about his choice to become physically intimate with a woman. Self control, deliberateness, honoring one's self and values....its the hottest thing in a man, and today's culture grieves me because it points to masses of people who live on impulse or ambiguity to their authentic self. I legitimately shed a tear of gratefulness, when you got to that part.
Yassssds!
Yes!!
I am not like the other guys. 😏
This is really great and mostly accurate! As an INFJ who has some INFJs in my life, I would advise against thinking we like shiny things and getting us jewellery! Jewellery only matters if it's meaningful due to the type of stone or who it belonged to or because it shows a deep understanding of who we are!
Exactly!
Agreed I really don't like being bought jewellery or clothing unless it has existing meaning (my mother giving me her locket for example) or they knew it was something that I really wanted and had been looking at. I often don't like recieving presents point blank, as I feel quite guilty and like there is an expectation to reciprocate. Saying that... When you talked about knick knacks from a fair like the copper - or tins or jugs interesting small things oooooooh I got so excited!!
Exactly.
Totally agree. As for myself, i couldn’t care less about jewelry or clothes or anything materialistic. I actually pride myself on being a minimalist.
I agree here too. Special jewelry that is based on "seeing" us. Oh and don't care about STATUS at all. Gross.
For an INFJ with a high, developed Fi (enneagram 4 etc.) it is harder to find her/himself in this video. Because high Fi is providing a good balance when it comes to these weaknesses of Fe and as a result many of the points in this video like, "If INFJ's would be in the same environment with bad people, they also would be bad", "They need cudos, they are living for cudos", "Give them jewelry, a nice car, anything that makes them look good in front of people", "INFJ's need you to make sure they are not worthless." (This is not true my fellow INFJ's. You only need to balance your cognitive functions for this, you only need yourself) or "INFJ's want recognition, being social, being popular, status etc." will not be accurate for an INFJ with a high, developed Fi. But I still found some right points for sure (at least for me) like "imposing ethics/morals on people", "finding excuses", "judging people" or "the voice inside our heads that always telling us we are worthless" But I have to say this video is more likely about "Unhealthy", "Unbalanced" or" Immature" INFJ.
Note: I think every INFJ should develop their opposite functions to be a balanced, healthy INFJ. But according to my experience, Fi is the most important one for our balance and our self-respect. Also, I think this is something that every type should try to do with their cognitive functions, not only INFJ's.
Thanks sis 🥰
@@Nanobot888 Always ❤️
I agree. If you’ve balanced your Fe-Fi, most comments above don’t really speak to you anymore.
That is the best comment on this page.
That's a very sensitive and clever comment. I also didn't find myself in accordance to many of the things he said. I even started questioning if I'm really an INFJ (guess that's something every INFJ does). In the end, every one of these personality tests only showcases a "general guide" to how someone feels or functions, me and you might be INFJ's but still be completely different. A stereotypical trait of an INFJ, might not be present on you, because you have already grown out of this mistake, you have matured. These personality tests are useful tools for making one reflect about themselves and how they could improve. But still, that's pretty much what they are. Don't get too attached to your INFJ label, or any other label for that matter. We can, and should, overcome those limits and become something else entirely different and better.
I let my husband watch this and he has no idea what the cognitive functions are. He said, "how do you know my wife so well?"
I'm an INFJ. I do drive and if it was desperate situation I would steal for a good friend... after I gained some money I'd re-pay it. I do struggle with worth and perfectionism.
I'm a psychology student and I wish to open a practice to help others.
Jessica Marie Vee
Aw! Your last sentence got me:(
Bless your beautiful heart!
I don’t think people really understand how stressful and exhausting it can be to be an infj and we don’t really give any credit to ourself, but we love when someone says back to us thank you, please or show appreciation that’s like a bonus but we also understand that not everyone can and will do that, also not sure why anyone would like to be an infj. when people say things to me like, you think your smart or special but deep down inside we don’t feel that it’s a shame, also we don’t usually pick up or follow people easily we can keep a distance and also separate ourself, but we would go the extra mile for friends or family which I guess will take time to manage but still working on accepting that people are very different and I try to step back and let them be without feeling guilty.
So true
thank u for reading my mind
Having the occasional kudos almost always makes up for any amount of stress or effort I have put in. It might be a lonely life but as an introvert I don't mind it. I have learned to preface almost any real conversation with loved ones with some variation of "I don't mean to diminish your feelings, and this is going to sound judgmental, holier-than-thou, harsh, and brutal, but with the best intentions and with honest, open, observation, I determine the following to be accurate" It almost never works, but at least I do give them fair warning
Dear lovely INFJ people, you're lovely.
From fellow INTP.
Thanks a lot man
This is giving me so many conflicted feelings. It definitely got better as time went on. It's so difficult to address because I feel like it's simultaneously spot on and also wrong.
It's like you've picked up on some fascinating, subtle dynamics in how I think, but also over-emphasized them to kind of an extreme. It's really important to note that a lot of the time, the stuff you're talking about isn't like, a conscious choice. I don't try to hold others to a standard. On a logical, conscious level, I am a huge advocate for, "live and let live." I do have really high expectations for my friends, though. If I'm honest. If I really think about it. I do want friends in my life who care for me as much as I care for them.
What's interesting is that you're kind of dead accurate for the entirety of my teenage years, and about the decade of my life that I spent depressed. I self sabotaged all of my relationships. A lot. The loyalty tests were real. They were ridiculous.
I think what I've become is mostly quite different though. I need a lot of alone time. But, if I take the time to take care of my own well-being by getting time alone, when I do emerge for social contact I think I come off as pretty well-rounded now. ...For the most part. There are still times where this dynamic can hold true.
Another area I kind of disagree is that I DO want a small tribe of close friends. Absolutely. I want people in my life who appreciate me and who can respect my differences. But, I really have no interest in being the alpha. I'm kind of always looking for friends with stronger personalities than mine who can kind of make the decisions in a social group. I overthink absolutely all of my choices- including ones that honestly don't matter. Questions that should take very little effort like, "Where do you want to eat as a group tonight?" spark a really long, thought out internal debate considering my own wants and needs, but also all the other people in the group. I'm, frankly, much happier if there's someone with more of an alpha personality who can just shot-call these unimportant details so that I never even have to start thinking about them. Of course, this only holds for areas that really are unimportant. I could be a bit different from most because I already have had some exposure to leadership in volunteer search and rescue and volunteer convention security. I find that I seem to find myself in leadership roles, but I really don't enjoy it once the novelty runs off. It makes me miserable, in fact. Being in charge means more pressure to be accurate with Ni Fe.
The contradiction is that I want to be lead, but I also am very, very picky about who I let lead me. If some meat head tries to bully me into submission, I will do everything in my power to subvert them. I have taken down so many bullies in authority by making them act their worst right as someone in charge of them walks up behind them.
I found the descriptions of the kinds of people we seek out to be interesting. I've definitely always looked for loyalty. But i've also often said that what I really /need/ in a close friend is someone to make sure I don't get hit by a bus crossing the street.
Talv Monster thank you so much for your long message. I enjoyed every word. I agree with you saying that some of these things are not done consciously and you are 100% correct. The shadow is unconscious after all :) Good luck to you on your journey.
'Someone to make sure I don't hit by a bus crossing the street'....so true, that is exactly what I want... I don't need or want puppies following me around. Just someone that will kindly say 'you missed that'.
We know people, thats why we alienate them
🤣
@@cutieart1718 Yeah, this is a feature, not a bug. A: If you can't meet my moral standard why would I want you in my life? B: Just because I can't even maintain my own moral standard just means that I don't want myself (as I exist right now) in my life - Time to become better. I guess the trick is realizing that others must be given an opportunity to improve as well. You can't consider a single instance as a betrayal, it must be continuous, frequent, or intentional lapses
Every INFJ needs a ENTP hype man who will also call them on their crap. I'm super lucky I have an ENTP dad
I appreciate this comment as an ENTP mom, I don't have an INFJ kid but I adopt my kids' introverted friends.
As an INFJ, I can relate with the whole mirroring people. It’s actually to the point where I don’t really know who I am. I can’t tell if I’m being fake or genuine to the people around me sometimes.
We mirror people to subconsciously walk in their shoes and understand them through our extroverted feeling function. The issue is, in the name/intent of preserving harmony, we end up staying too long in other's shoes and that's what ends up making us feel fake (because our shoes are left without anyone in them,so to speak and abandoning ourselves).
Balance and experience is the key; there is a proverb that goes; "If/when the best tool you have in your toolbox is a hammer; all your problems begin to look like nails..." Basically our ability to mirror/empathise (via Fe) is our hammer(best socialising tool) when it comes to relating with people thus we tend to find ourselves overusing it in every situation(nail). It's a maturity problem; with time, growth, wisdom and experience we can hone our Fe and develop other tools that will allow us to balance feeling what others feel (mirroring their feelings) & also equally expressing our own authentically without fear of disrupting the harmony.
We do understand people. We do know very well why and how we're alienating people, we do it simply because we don't bother interacting with those people and prefer them viewing us as aliens to avoid any further interactions. We know very well how not to come across weird and act normal, we just need our breaks. Daily. Or hourly. Actually a constant break would be nice.
Sometimes I feel like walking in a freestyle wierd way. I allow myself to do it so that it shoos away the judgemental people who judge on insignificant things 😂
Your the father some people never had, what a true inspiration to humanity 👏
I think as an infj, one of the things that makes us succeed has to do precisely with the fact were so hard on ourselves and the fact that we create these high standards for ourselves which are often admittedly unrealistic but they push us to meet them regardless which results in the infj having the capacity to really hustle and get very far in life.
As an INFJ I can confirm, I do not know how to drive.
Same lol
No, you're a woman
I never even got my license because I knows I can't drive.
INFJs don't drive, they fly
I don't even have a license yet because I know me and well INFJ'S can't drive 😌😂
Being an INFJ for me is basically like living in a state of inner contradiction and outer controversy on a daily basis.
I don’t know what everyone in the comment section is talking about. Sure, some shots were fired but anyone with a growth mindset knows the truth will set you free, even if it hurts a little. This video was enlightening and perfectly describes my personality from childhood to early adulthood with the exception of "INFJs love getting flashy gifts and hearing praises/affirmations" (that one may be a bias from dating a female INFJ, male INFJs don't need those to thrive IMO). Overall, a great video, I subbed and liked! Thanks for taking the time to create it.
Maybe not the flashy gifts, but male INFJs do need praise, as rewatching this made me realize my dad is an INFJ. Also made me realize I have accessed my INFJ subconscious, but not in a good way. Uuuuugggghhh.
I'm an INFJ female and I don't like shiny stuff.
Hard for an INFJ to deny the power of a little truthful "hellfire"
Definitely agree with not wanting flashy gifts, and I was surprised to hear about how we dress and such? Utility over style any day of the week
I dislike being the center of attention and as such dislike public praise, but the few times it has happened are also among the most memorable moments in my life, so perhaps there's some truth there
I am a female INFJ and I never felt the need for flashy gift, but that praise does feel great when it's genuine.
I'm infp and that's exactly me. I like jewelry as gifts because they make me feel cherished. And words of affirmation is my top love language.
As an infj female I hate receiving gifts...especially things like jewelry. Just saying. Everything else is pretty accurate.
I prefer thank yous to gifts. Unless someone gets me something I really need when I've been too busy taking care of someone to get it myself. That is the best.
Ginger Folsom I do love extravagant gifts as long as I know the person can afford it, but I won’t admit or ask for it either.
No its not this dudea opinion is from a narrow scope.
I’m an INFJ and I just got a perfect metaphysical gift from an ENFP friend and it was the best experience ever!
I like gifts that I can use everyday. My daughter got me some socks a few years ago, I remember her every time I put them on. Only 1 pair left, sigh... She also got me a Starbucks mug. I drink my coffee in it every day :D
I’ve probably watched this lecture 20+ times. I’ve probably teared up half of the times I’ve viewed. Right now being one of those times. Thank you… so much Chase.
15 minutes in and im already crying lol
(edit)
cried throughout the whole video RIP
I find INFJs equal parts intriguing and intimidating. As an INFP, I find that we share similar interests and values, but there is a candor about the INFJ that can sometimes catch me off guard. It can feel rude or judgy, but I don’t think it’s intended to. INFJ is super intelligent, super insightful, and incredibly caring! I often feel ashamed of myself when I see how much the INFJ goes out of her way to do things for others. INFP is definitely more selfish.
I really appreciate this information. Being INFJ you have spoken of all levels of my life! You’ve brought to my attention how far I’ve come with my behavior and internal thinking. I’ve become extremely secure in my own self interior and exterior. I didn’t realize how healthy I’ve become . It’s almost like people can say ANYTHING to me and I’m not affected or insulted. I KNOW who I am and I KNOW I’m good And worthy. I know what I am and what I have I KNOW WHO I AM. But you have showed me how much work I’ve done to improve myself image. I find I’m still a target to Narcissistic ass holes that are constantly coming at me and I’m still getting hurt but it’s only my heart now because I’ve discovered that I am not what I used to think and no narcissist will ever convince me otherwise.
I’m lonely for a life partner but I know it’s not (all) my fault. They are emotional vampires and they HATE that I can see them . I know what I do! I know where I go ! I know who I am! I know what I have and have done!( and doing) !
IVE LEARNED TO SAY NO!!! This man knows what he’s talking about!
I’m so Dammed secure with myself people hate me. But guess what? I DONT CARE BECAUSE I KNOW WHO I AM NOW!
I just need to learn not to give my heart to narcissistic soul killers! I’m about 75% successful in not getting taken by them. But those narcissists are absolutely fascinating though. It’s really strange and fascinating to watch them do what they do! I think that’s my problem now is I’m so fascinated by their complete lack of Conscience and empathy in their ability to look right at you with dead eyes and lie it’s fascinating and I’ve got to stop being someone who is watching this accident happening in front of me and I can’t take my eyes away until I realize the accidents happening to me because I’m just fascinated by their depth of almost like demonic possession! But enough . Thank you it’s people like you that hit me with the painful truth that I’m just fine and blessed and good. Oh I fought them hard for a minute but I’ve made great inroads due to people like you slamming with the truth! THANK YOU
this guy is basically telling the story of my life in forty minutes
not really, he's telling you what's already out there and you'r subconsciously trying to align a specific action to fit yours.
@@ddlcp ?
@@julianmanjarres1998 nothing
To any INFJ ready to leave the video, stay. It’s for our own good, I was ready to do the same at the beginning but it’s just the cold truth about our flaws. Needless to say you accomplished to make a grown man cry sir, thank you for this.
you are most welcome
Abraham Rico I just don’t feel like watching the rest of the video because these flaws just sound like an unhealthy or immature infj, totally not me
My tears are proof of how CS Jospeh picked apart ALL THE PIECES of my inner self and assembled it and VALUED IT in a way that i never thought i'd hear from anyone....
Brutal honesty. Have seen many videos about INFJs but by far this is my best. Your hit the nail at every turn. Great video man, thank you
If you are an infj, you are sensitive to criticism, possibly because you dislike giving others a bad experience, and take the criticism to heart. This is why this video can be difficult to hear. But, you also have the ability to gain knowledge in an objective way. Keep this in mind and you should be able to listen to this through to the end. His intention is not to hurt feelings but to educate. Personally, I don't think "tough love" approaches work very well for infjs, but again, they can separate their feelings, and recognize when someone is giving truly helpful advice. The only thing I might add, as someone who is on the receiving end of criticism, is in regards to the "whisper". I noticed myself doing it in 2 instances: 1. When I was feeling attacked by someone who didn't get what they wanted from me, then raised their voice to try to intimidate me into getting what they want, I, in hopes of bringing down the emotional temperature, lowered my voice. 2. When I was feeling tired and didn't want to extravert, but was trying to extravert because of social obligations, I lowered my voice. Since I now know people can see this as annoying or disrespectful, I try to keep my voice at "medium" volume. If I am really tired or feel like speaking quietly, I now opt to take more of the role of active listener, asking more questions than providing information. This has helped me when I felt the "whisper" coming on :)
@Leneah Hamel We are upset by criticism that isn't based in fact or reality. We are upset by sweeping judgments that do not apply to everyone. We appreciate thoughtful feedback. We will listen to what you have to say (we're great listeners), weigh it in our mind, then either make adjustments based upon your feedback or throw it in the trash. On the topic of the whisper, you have good insight. It is one of the parts of the video I agreed with wholeheartedly (although the delivery was typical ENTP). We adapt to other people and what they need (most of the time). So, if we are backing down and "whispering", it is a tool to steer the situation in a different direction. It's not something that should be criticized - it's quite clever actually.
@@anntauz7890 Thank you
You really overthink social interactions. 😂 People arent worth you giving so much effort into pleasing them. IMO
“Tough love” was not natural for me, it was since childhood and I come from one of those tiger mom families, I had no choice. I now prefer the tough love method, why? Because I value fairness so much, and I realized it wasn’t fair for the person next to be working so hard and I’m not keeping up, basically being useless. I can’t stand the soft hands approach.
This is helpful. This is our internal experience. I am not loud. My voice always sounds normal to me. Normal feels like i am shouting!
Me: thinking I’m too selfish to make all my choices for the sake of other people
Also me: on days when I am not working as a caregiver, I sleep in till 10 and don’t eat till 5pm and generally don’t take care of myself because no one is expecting anything from me
As an INFJ, you are an incredible dude. Thanks for sharing this information, extremely valuable for understanding my life, what gives me meaning and how to relate to and understand the people around me.
I'm an INTJ married to an INFJ and I've watched both videos. You're spot on with the challenges and strengths of both.
Around the 10min is where my response comes in to play:
To an extent the INFJ can absorb or become like their environment or the people they are around: Try to fit in. But they will fight pretty fiercely for something they truly believe in. They aren't going to suddenly stop believing what they believe just that fast unless there are actual details or facts that they can pull where ever and piece it altogether to tell them what they previously believed is no longer true.
I agree. 👍
Man! This guy can talk! No matter how passionate I found a subject, I'd need 2 days rest after delivering a talk like this. I need a rest after listening! It seems like he has met a lot of immature INFJ's.
Seriously, thank you so much for being so honest.
I feel like no one in my entire life loves me enough to tell me the truth and give honest feedback.
How am I supposed to calibrate if no one lets me know where I’m at?
Much love and appreciation!
you are most welcome
"INFJs arent aware of what other people think!". Holy crap. Is that why i'm always asking people what they think about things when I work on projects with them?
zeroangelmk1 yes that is correct. Also why talking about subject matter that others already know or have already concluded previously. It’s what makes an INFJ a J type. Always looking for outside judgment from others.
Are we supposed to be mind readers? Because I've tried that and it is mentally exhausting. Communication communication communication.
No. Sorry. You ask because you want to be understood as it can easily happen to anyone. To be misunderstood. Don't let videos like this tell you who you are. But there are many other videos that literally show the full circle truth of INFJ as well as others of course. And the lighter aspects of even the shadow aspects. The highest potentials etc. Don't believe anything for a moment that at all diminishes and or puts you down! You are a powerful being as all of us are. Never forget that. 💖💖💖💖💖💖
This video is single handedly responsible for my going back to college. Thank you so so much Joseph
I am a 37 year old infj loser.
Thank you for making this entertaining and enlightening video. You're awesome
Stop the self abuse. Coming from another INFJ. Check out the wounded INFJ videos. You must heal or you will end up a wreck. And it pains me to see other INFJs this way. Please. Find your light again and shine it warm and broad.
You are not a loser, you are different, im the loser, lol
My ENTP friend would always tell me when I get into that kind of self-loathing loop: "Not with that attitude!"
@@Makkaru112 which wounded INFJ videoa are you talking about?
Another INFJ loser here. Life burned down to ashes, almost took my own life. Starting to rebuild little by little.
I must admit. I was not a fan of this video at first as an INFJ but the longer I watched it the more it grew on me. It is different because I am under the impression that the most videos that I see about personality types are for INFJ's and are sugarcoated up for us. As he Joseph said, "it was the highest requested," in the beginning of this video. I appreciate your honesty but I would be willing to put some cash down that your/his experiences with us have left a scar. I will say this however, my favorite part was when the word "mature" came out. When I was young more of this video would relate to me a lot more than it does now. I have done my fair share of dwelling on trials and tribulations and feeling like a piece of shit but that opportunity also allowed me to grow. I unknowingly self identified my short falls within this personality type and have been working on them ever since. I 100% agree that we can change the world if our untapped potential was unleashed.
Well said, I love your honesty.
I know 2 INFJs and they both do the "whisper" especially in public. I'm always like "Dude, nobody cares about what we are talking about" chill.
I personally do it for my privacy i don't like to share my stuff with everyone 😂
@@Cinderella-mc8kf Hahaha same
I mean it's better than being loud and obnoxious
I was trying to determine if I was an intj or infj. I watched the intj video, and halfway through I quit watching because it seemed like he was just subjectively criticizing the intj. However when I watched the infj one I still thought he was being critical, but not subjectively. Everything connected with me so much it hurt and I realized he actually does know what he's talking about. I didn't feel hurt by the intj video, just annoyed. But that is a clear sign that I'm most likely just not an intj because I don't relate to his criticism. I've watched many of his videos now and I'm thinking that the people who are in disagreement with his criticisms are probably not an infj. The criticism hurts because it is so true and hasn't been accurately detailed by any other youtubers. If you don't feel the honesty and shame from the video then I'd say it may be a good idea to watch the other videos of the types most similar to infj.
well said, thank you for your patience with me.
The guy is a clown.
Don't listen to these insane ramblings.
Are you kidding me? This guy is ingenious. You're just jealous
I was thinking the same thing. The criticism is true but when dealing with a undeveloped infj that has not dealt with life because of the comfort of living a life of living with the parents or just plan old sheltered life where the infj has not experienced much. Being compared to an sheltered infj that lacks experiences sounds like an exaggeration but one must lesson carefully also it is good to keep in mind that alot of people type themselves what they consider good personalitys instead of the truth.
You're either trolling or idk.
C.S Joseph, i can't thank you enough for this lecture, it's simply amazing. There's no beating around the bush, you just tell the thruth directly and, although it hurts a lot, i couldn't be more grateful, i really needed to hear that. In terms of personal growth, since the first time i watched it, this video has been helping me more than anything anyone has ever told/done to me. Because of this lecture i feel that i'm finally making progress as a person. Thanks a lot!
You are most welcome
Yea we are even complicated to ourselves. We are not really perfectionist because we procrastinate all the time so we end up doing nothing so the perfectionism never happens. Lol
Well, for me...I'm a perfectionist. I hate it sometimes. I watch how others can just get up and go with any given topic or any given task. But, it drives me CRAZY how they start without a plan etc lol Although, as we mature, this isn't such a huge mountain to climb, I find.
I've learnt to dial down the perfectionism with more mindless and small things. I think we typically learn this as we mature.
I'm working on a plan to create a comic book and it's kicked my perfectionist into over drive >,<
-INFJ
A lot of perfectionists procrastinate because they would rather have nothing than an imperfect product
I am a detail-oriented perfectionist. Only useful in certain circumstances. But I do not expect perfection from others, only myself. For other people I know no one is perfect so it's OK if they make mistakes. So strange, right?
But when faced with an overwhelming task, I don't know where to start. And if I know it won't be perfect, why even bother. Then the procrastination kicks in and I beat myself up even more. I don't need other people to beat me up, thanks anyway, I do it more than enough myself.
I heard a word for the perfectionist procrastination cycle: we are Procrastifectionists
Simple solution, this is like downloading a cheat code. Watch vice and virtue for INFJ. We're like mirrors. When around ppl who procrastinate, we begin to procrastinate. When around people who never procrastinate, we never procrastinate. Don't have those amazing ppl to be around? Listen to them speak on TH-cam, like Kobe Bryant, go about your day, and begin mirroring Kobe. Done
You're one of the people that is brutally honest but because of the accuracy, it's so nice to hear everything you have to say.
50 yr old INFJ here. It took me until I was 39 to become aware of these personality traits so well described in this video. For myself I happened upon Eckhart Tolle on Oprah’s book club. I then gave up the job I had, sold everything and went wandering in the wilderness. I recognize the messiah complex in me and have a strong desire to lead change in this world. I’m still on the journey...
Thanks again for this video :)
Honestly you sound like someone hurt you as an INFJ, and now you are trying to point out one person's downfalls. So much of this doesn't even make sense to a well-developed INFJ.
It sounds like a very personal attack. I'm glad someone noticed it!
I thought the same thing. I was that way when I was younger, to a degree. Also, no I don’t really like to drive but I do & I’ve never been comfortable receiving gifts. We don’t all fit into a little box. No matter the type.
Good point right here!
Holy shit. INFJs are so predictable.
No, he offers tough love to all types. He just happens to love njs most. 💘
What is Success? by Ralph Waldo Emerson
“To laugh often and much; to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children; to earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends; to appreciate the beauty; to find the best in others; to leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch or a redeemed social condition; to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded!”
Shared this one to 2 INFJ groups i been on fb and got some positive comments about it. Some are even thankful i shared it to them! More power to your channel!
Much appreciated
Watched the entire video and I'm very impressed. You've explained these traits so accurately and honestly. I couldn't believe how accurate you are... thank you
I’m dying laughing because I see so much of myself in this... I’m not whispering while I say this ;)
lorenmark I laughed too hahaha
😂👏
It more like a sweet voice for me lol rather than a whisper. It works on most people
Revisiting this masterpiece.
This stuff is really like magic. Once you have identified someone's type, it's like you can read into the depths of their very being, identify what makes them tick, what they hate, what they want etc.
Yep and the more you understand yourself and others, the less you can hate them for it.
When you shove that much Ni through an Se outlet, it's just gonna come out like a giant BLEARGH!!!
- C.S. Joseph
😂👌🏼
Ok, this was harsh, and 99% true.
The false was:
In no way shape or form do I cheat to see if someone will stay with me, that compromises my morals.
I do absolutely love shiny copper, especially the size of my fist because it's pretty, however, I loathe nicknacks, they clutter my space and I hate it. I do not care about having an Audi or other material possession because of the "status" factor, period. It's morally compromising to me to have accumulated wealth while people literally starve on the streets. INFJ guilt is way too strong for that behavior, it has literally made me cry seeing people without shoes when I have a closet full at home. However, I do like nice things (clothes and cars!) because I want them to last and not have to go shopping and participate in capitalism/ materialism on a regular basis. Additionally, I loathe maintenance of myself, including possessions.
However, I do absolutely love nice cars! I feel that everyone should have one because they are fun. It isn't a status thing for me.
Everything else was eerily accurate, at different phases in my life of course.
That’s a Borderline personality disordered INFJ.
Toni moly wtf is wrong with you
Whuuut? I LOVE material things! I love wealth, I love Audis and I like things of good quality. It's because I love beautiful things. I wouldn't feel guilty at all, if I had won the lottery. I deserve it. But I wouldn't keep it to myself. I'd give a lot to projects or ppl in need. The more I'd win, the more I'd share. Money is a necessity. I didn't invent it, but it is like it is and the more you have, the more wonderful things you can experience, own and do with it. Isn't the hippie thing reserved for INFPs?
First the amount of time you can hold that board is almost supernatural. And as an INTP trying to charm a what looks like an INFJ this is so fucking accurate !!
I am an INFJ and this account nailed me almost completely - quite amazing - thank you for making this video deeply appreciated
Subscribed! Laughed and was entertained! haha best explanation of the INFJ
Wow when you went to the far dark side of INFJ it was actually beautiful and helped me see that I'm not nearly as dysfunctional and insecure as I thought I was and also see where past problems came from. Your style of calling out the b.s. and at the same time being compassionate is awesome thank you
I am an INFJ. I do know how to drive (unless I am too much in my head or dealing with too many negative emotions while doing so.) I could end up seriously hurting or killing someone due to negligent driving, and I do not want that blood on my hands.
I used to be more childish and verbally lash out at people when I felt underappreciated, or as if someone was not being loyal to me. Now I am mostly just blunt (in a not so violent manner) with people that have actually crossed the line, and then I silently walk away with my sad emotions feeling like they are ripping at my soul. I absolutely hate hurting people in any kind of way, but I only truly get angry when somebody has messed with someone I deeply care for; lacks basic consideration of a human being; or is mean to an animal.
Taking care of myself is something I struggle with; more so when I am anxious or depressed. I mostly end up not eating enough, or getting enough sleep.
Loyalty and appreciation are EXTREMELY important to me.
I extend a big "thank you" to you for making this video. Thank you so much for being truthful, and for believing in every INFJ. We are our biggest critics for sure.
Brittony Briscoe I got your back, don’t give up, like Naruto, another INFJ
I am an INFJ and I do not trust myself behind a wheel. Isnt it strange that we humans drive vehicles?.... Its anti logic. I definitely do not trust myself to drive.
Wait Naruto is INFJ?
I am an INFJ and NEVER push my views or morality onto people - I do my very best to be respectful of others and expect the same in return - I am assertive but not aggressive or hostile. Maybe you are referring to people who are underdeveloped emotionally or have been SERIOUSLY damaged. And No - I haven't been miss-typed. I hope you can open your mind enough to realize that your generalizations may not apply to ALL INFJs or even SOME INFJs. Btw: I don't need or like bling or fancy cars. I think you are incorrect on so much and hope you can accept this feedback without telling me that I have been miss-typed.
I mean, some INFJs are more mature than others. Please review my lecture on virtue and vice of the INFJ, aka integrity vs. corruption.
I dont like bling either. I might like *some* jewelry but I really don't wear it that much.
Im not mistyped either. I explored several personality types and Im not any of the others.
I do agree with Susan's comment.
Susan Webster he gave a generalization of INFJ your a human with years of experience that also snapped your morality
Sorry to tell you but he is right
Well who would have thought that some people won't fit in exactly with the tendencies described. Admirable defence but not terribly relevant unless an army follow through with a similar gripe.
As INFJ i just want to show gratitude for the new perspective and empowerment i received , u really helped me with moving on with my life and now I can see real difference, thank you
I think INFJ'S are much like the ISFP's except we go deeper into ourselves than the ISFP. For a long time i thought I was an ISFP, then INFP then I discovered this video and now I know without a shadow of doubt I'm an INFJ and the weird thing is I took so many tests but never got my correct type INFJ.
Also, I've noticed in my romantic relationships I always go above and beyond to make my significant other comfortable and would do anything in my power to make them happy. I do expect that back and I'm always severely let down but then end up blaming myself for being so stupid to even expect another person to be so loyal and self sacrificing it's really not a reality for most people and I have to remind myself of that. And to be that way can sometimes even hurt and enable others.
For my entire childhood and into my early 20's my Te trickster literally tricked me into thinking everyone thought like I did, I quickly learned I was very different.
Your son , an infj , is blessed to have a father like you.. to us all you are very giving especially your brutal honesty, you must really care .. thanks
When he said "i have faith in you"
I FELT THAT
This made me want to cry
Your tears are far more valuable than you realize.
This... this was like a therapy session. Thank you?
Mayan McDermott lol
Omg I agree lol
A somewhat abusive therapy session
Mayan McDermott Not the therapist I would want. He needs to chill tf out a bit.
TheMoniyw Yeah he’s being a bit of a narc