@@CSJoseph Crushing It!: How Great Entrepreneurs Build Their Business and Influence-and How You Can, Too Kindle Edition by Gary Vaynerchuk (Author) Good you specified because I found that one as well from same author.
One correction: the INFJ Si demon suicide is most definitively NOT for show (with a few exceptions on self-harm only). Quite the opposite: If they could, I'm sure most INFJs would prefer to slip away quietly. No drama, no tears, no funeral...nothing. Their existential despair can be very real and deeply painful. I'm sure many have forced themselves to linger on only because of the effect their suicide would have on family and loved ones. How we wish to bypass the drama, anguish, and reactions of others. INFJs end up feeling trapped. They don't see the point of living this ridiculous Matrix construct. Damned if they do and damned if they don't.
As an INFJ, I feel the need to add one important thing. This video should be addressed to underdeveloped/immature INFJs. This video would have been VERY useful for me as a teenager, thank you for taking the time to make it.
I am a mature INFJ . I have never gone as far as the negative listed in this Lecture , I am also not Vulnerable to ENFP trick and I have never cheated on any one. But I do recognize the potential and reasons for every thing mentioned. (added latter -----------> I have been Vulnerable to the ENFP trick In the past but I have not lost out as badly as the examples).
This also should be noted that just because someone can't relate to this video, doesn't mean they are a mature INFJ. Because, an actual INFP with "special snowflake" syndrome & "Ti demon" reading this comment be like... "Oh yeah.... this is why I can't relate to the video, bc this is only for immature INFJs, and I'm a mature INFJ". LOL 🤦♀️.
Dean Cain it’s helped me soooo much to understand why I feel worthless always despite great performance in many metrics. It’s great to know that it’s apart of who we INFJ are, it’s tough tho, but it’s our burden and our gift.
As an INTP I have only met a few INFJ’s, but they are my favorite type. I have learned the most from them and their emotional depth is unbelievable. The conversations are always great and there is mutual growth going on. Keep being integral and don’t lose sight from your dreams people!
I started to write a book, had about 7 chapters done, but it was so convoluted I couldn't actually distill the content into an easy to read from the start kind of format...
I totally get the convoluted issue. I have a good tip. Use 3 scripts. One is a list of things you need to put in. Doesn’t need to be in order. Second is a plan with bullet points and summaries and arrows etc. Thord is the actual script here you add to it when inspiration strikes. So if you have a messy script, go through it and order it if you can. Transfer plan or structure to a second script and work from there.
I can answer why so many INFJ retreats into things like games instead of the outside world. Dominant people are conflict driven and scary, people that seem nice have most likely turned out to be backstabbers, and for the female INFJ especially theres pretty high chances that she has attracted enough creeps scaring her that walking outside is terrifying and draining and feels like walking into a tornado where flying debree cuts you and bruises you. I broke free of that feeling but I lived with it for years and years. We definitely think we are worthless as well because we do get treated like crap a lot. Friends only talk with an agenda to get their INFJ fix like a drug and I feel like a bucket they pour their crap in for me to carry so for the longest time I felt like my purpose in life was to be cut, bruised and carry shit like an abused mule. I did break free but since you asked "WHY DO YOU DO THIS??" This is why. Treated like crap -> feel like crap -> act like crap.
Ambi Cahira infj here and I have to say that I’m sorry that there are more men like that out there than what you would consider a gentlemen I just want to let you know not all men are like that
@Ambi Cahira Indeed! People don’t come to INFJs unless they are in distress. And then also, they don’t accept the suggestions/help. Such people keep their spiral of helplessness on and do nothing, even after suggestion. And when they are asked to apply that suggestion, they blame the INFJ for being intrusive. Also, it shocks to know when they demean the only way out of a distressful situation which an INFJ has suggested. When they don’t want to apply the suggestion or let INFJ help, then why ask them for it? (I’m not talking about the times when they only want to be heard)
Ambi Cahira I never retreated into games. I retreated into internal anxiety and panic. Then I turned 18, went to college. And grew the fuck up. I actually got to really know, other humans. Realized how much I connect and can relate to people. And that I’m not as weird as I thought.. but I hate needy people. I guess I have so much empathy, and this is where we get hurt. But, I don’t see that we can avoid this and still be ourselves.
@@priyankayadav0110 That is so true! Most people they sek INFJs out are in distress. They want help, warmth, advice. Then they go do the same thing that got them in to trouble over and over again. I have a very very nice friend that unfortunately is surrounded by NPD family. They use her, take advantage, backstab & frontstab het. When she just can't stand it anymore, she comes to me. I talk to her about setting boundaries, not giving the NPD family money they just blow on themselves instead of their young children (who the money is intended for). At some point, I feel upset at myself & feel like I overstepped boundaries by telling her all this, and I back away a bit. Then she'll give them money they aren't thankful for & treat her like crap & she'll come to me again. It's sad because it is so ridiculous.
I was involved with an ENFP woman one time and she literally used me. I did exactly what you spoke about, about putting up surety for her. She wanted to study nursing and I went with her to the student revolving loan and stand sure for her. Long story short, she never paid back a cent, the debtors called me and told me that I owed them over two thousand dollars, of which I didn't have. I finally wised up when the debtors called the last time and I told them that she worked in government, why don't you take the money from her salary, they never called me back. I can say I am a wiser INFJ now because I am learning from my mistakes. I truly enjoy your talk and I will definitely not be a stranger to your site, may God continue to bless what you are doing.
I agree with the assertion that the INFJ can go for the "lower quality" person. It isn't just fear of abandonment, however, it also relates to the desire to help and protect, which you allude to later. There is almost a sense of obligation. Some of it may come from the "God Complex", but some of it is a genuine desire to use their ability to help people navigate through their lives for good. This flaw caused me to spend much of my life taking the lead and ultimately being more of a parent than a partner. I want a "high quality" person, but saying it and finding one are two very different things. Mature, healthy INFJs are not (or less) susceptible to social engineering, because they install boundaries in their relationships. They have gained self-confidence and self-worth within themselves and don't need validation. One piece that I still struggle with is disconnecting motivation from relationships. In other words, why should I pursue a successful business if I don't have someone to share that success with. I'm still working on that.
Randy Poisson that actually makes a lot of sense I was dating a girl for three years and in the beginning it was great she had emotional health issues and I liked her as a person and I wanted to be there for her little did I know I jumped in too soon and I started seeing her dark side but I couldn’t overlook the person she was even if I was unhappy 3 years down the road I guess she found what she was looking for and left me I was broken for about 3 hours and got back up on my feet cause I remembered I had a deeper vision and purpose to accomplish and I couldn’t let heartbreak stop me from manifesting it into reality and gave me the strength to move forward
@@Grimthunder338 same minus the 3 hours to get over it. I did but I never really did and what I now know what that means is that it taught me not to let myself fall in love with the wrong person, so broken and undeserving of my love for them and energy I put into the relationship. She ignored my advice, didnt give me what I need in the relationship intellectually, wasnt funny and was always mad/depressed. You might ask why I even dated her. I was young alone for a lone time and yes it was the heat of another person occasionally warming my cold alien heart. which i lit on fire for her with the trying with romance and flowers and dates. She would always do something to ruin it relationship-wise. I dont think she was cheating but now I cant say Im sure she wasnt. Only now I realize I must have been a plaything a siily little pitstop she made before tossing me away like a used cum filled sock. I know it now because the sex was the only thing she seemed passionate about and what girl doesn't like the girlfriend exp once in a while with the wine and dine? She was not a gf or wifey material. i thought she could be because she was sweet and seemed to have a good heart but I couldn't see as clearly then as I could now. This left me in a way of not giving girls another second if i notice a red flag. I just pay to play and keep moving forward saving money, GF's are expensive.
To address the last statement about finding motivation. I feel it’s important to always start with the self. We are wired to do things for the collective humanity. So it’s natural for us to always think about another when pursuing an interest. We always ask how can this help others and not just myself. What I have discovered, is to love ourselves first like you mentioned. We are told to love our neighbours as ourselves. Now I know that when I pursue a business opportunity, it because I love myself which others will see and will automatically be transformed by our actions. INFJs are transformational leaders. If your actions inspire people to do more, dream more and become more, then you are a transformational leader.
@@midnightgaming.9162 Oh dear.. people tend to use and abuse INFJs until we learn how to deal with them. Look for ENTPs or ENFPs maybe INTJs never go for Sensing types, we need fellow intuitives as a top priority. That's the difference, good health to you!
I watched so many videos of you. This is the most intense and emotional video u ever pulled. Maybe because u relate so much with INFJ. Your son, your ex. You deeply care about improving people. Thanks for doing this :)
Now I kinda understand why my INFJ cousin tried to commit suicide (he was 16 with an abusive/narcissistic parent). He is in college now and just got offered a high-paying coding job at one of his state’s largest tech companies. I am so happy for him. As always, thanks for the video Chase. I think it’s so important for people to understand the INFJs. They reek of potential and have always been some of my favorite people.
“If I could wipe the tears from all of your faces, I would. I love you people.” Chase, that line hit me right in the heart. And you know what? I know it isn’t bullshit. You know how I know it isn’t? Because you have the balls to criticize us INFJs at every possible turn. If you wanted to social engineer us, it’d be an endless stream of singing praises. But it’s the ones who are in it for the long haul who dare to criticize. The thing that needs to be impressed upon EVERY SINGLE INFJ is that while we are supposed to make people better, the first person an INFJ should improve is himself. When that self-respect is there and the Fi critic is told to shut the hell up once in a while, we won’t be socially engineered anymore. When we INFJs surround ourselves with people who really care and who really want us to have self-respect, we will know when a shyster comes calling. I can’t tell you how much I endorse the “Get the losers out of your life” mentality. Some people can’t be saved. Some people can be saved, but don’t want to be saved. Lead the horse to water, by all means. But if he won’t drink, find a horse who will. Thank you, Chase, for everything that you do. It makes me very happy to know that people like you are out there.
He obviously has lots of negative personal experience coloring his perception. His overview of the INFJ was equally as vitriolic and personal. He sounds pretty bitter in both videos. By contrast, some of the videos discussing other types are full of praise for their strengths and downplaying shortcomings or making them seem irrelevant and easily overcome. The INFJ videos seem like an excuse to bash a person or people that did him wrong. He should take his own advice and let it go.
Hello there, INFJ here, I have green eyes, I have -o blood type, I can walk through walls, I have laser eye vision as well as telepathy, and I can bend reality to my will. I am clearly a rare and important specimen.
I'm -0 as well I have blue eyes, you no that celebrity heads game , you have the celebrity head written on the white board behind you, the other team at rehab thought I was cheating because I was reading the patterns in behaviour and expressions on their faces before they answered the first question sometimes and I would get it, I was reading signs I wasn't even aware of . I also happen to know that earth is not a spinning space ball, but I assume that at the time of me writing this , there will not be too many if any people on this page that believe in the spinning space ball religion.
As an infj I have only one entp in my life that has been helping me these past five years since I started working on myself and getting the losers out of my life. Thank you, CS Joseph. Because of your passionate and radical honesty, I’m at a level of integrity that I used to only dream about. Listening to it again today, years later, I’m still baffled by your ability to burn the lies away in us infj’s. Thank you and keep up loving us. Hope your son is healthy and strong. My heart goes out to all INFJ’s. We get so close to death; but we bounce back triumphantly!
As an INFJ I am very pessimistic and I don't always believe good intent. Maybe that was because I was raised by liars around me. I am also my own worse critic. I look at relationships as useful until it is not. Also, people can come in go for various reasons, including death. I feel conflicted about a lot of people in my life, but I am working more on boundaries for my own emotional health. Sorry to hear about your ex. It does sound like she self sabotaged. I don't take cheating lightly either. The only thing I don't agree with on your take of the INFJ is gullibility or flattery. It is hard for me to accept a compliment and really believe it. Also, I am not very suggestable, but doubt intentions of others more than not.
Read some Nietzsche. Start with Human All Too Human and move up from there. After Human All Too Human, read books translate by Kaufman. That Philosopher was very healing for me. It might be the same for you.
If an Infj is not gullible , then they won't be attracting toxic people very often. The need of wanting to be understood deeply is Something that can also make infj be prone to flattery or gullibility. Healthy mature Infjs would base it more on evidence of actions over time.
I (INFJ) have never been so openly been criticized and humiliated and be so! thankful at the same time. Newly discovered that I am an INFJ, my entire life I fell down every hole you talked about. Thank you for your harsh and rude awakening, I enjoyed and learned at the same time.
This is interesting. So I am an ENFP and I love INFJs and what I find with them is that I help them believe in themselves and find their place in the society and social environment, so they can give what they have to offer. I can see how valuable and great people they are but because they are impossibly hard on themselves, they just are stuck at home eating ice cream. Maybe you can call it like ”ENFP screwing them over” but I honestly feel like I have helped so many INFJs to look at beauty of life and to see it in themselves. I think this is where ENFPs help INFJ and not just negatively social engineer/screw them over like it seems to suggest here. I am sorry you have had such a bad time with Tai Lopez but honestly there are a lot of very loving and honestly kind and living in integrity ENFPs out here.
I left a comment above but healthy ENFP’s are my FAVORITE people. As well as INFP’s. I have one of each as my best friends and I am seriously so incredibly grateful for them. I’m going through a divorce and my ENFP friend has been not only a rock when I need her, but she injects fun and spontaneity into my life. I could care less when she double books herself accidentally lol or is “flaky”, since I don’t mind cancelled plans. Every infj needs an ENFP best friend.
I understand what you mean. Immature ENFPs ARE SO HARD TO CONCENTRATE, extremely forgetful, and all of the weakness that can be talked next time. By the way, ESTJs here. I have ENFPs friends and well, you are not alone on that. That is it, for my INFJs friends, I always try to be not easily bored (because I am used to routine) and remind things that they may forgot. Fulfill what they want (provided they are responsible for it) and give choices.
@@youtubing9762 Well, I think it may be due to their underdeveloped parent function and inferior function. That is why they are not reliable. This is also coming, combined from person experience and what I have studied from CSJ's blogs and videos.
Dude. The mentoring thing between ENTP and INFJ rings true for me. There is one person in my life who I esteem as having more influence and providing more insight and education than any other person I have known and that is an ENTP friend I have had since I was a child. Seriously she has challenged me and helped me to face difficult truths. While sometimes it is uncomfortable to hear such piercing honesty, in the long run she has always been right. She is the wisest person I know. ENTPs are amazing.
I'mnotcryingyou'recrying Jokes aside. This video changed my whole life and has shaken me to my core. Give me 6 months. Edit: 6 month update. I was able to heal emotionally and mentally to an extent, and I am pregnant with our first child. I never. Ever. Thought I could get pregnant due to a lot of things including my mental state. He's going to be raised by a healthy INFP father and a been around the block INFJ mother. I am so excited. We are about to close on a house. I am helping multiple people, including an infj, process their narcissistic abuse and become the best they can be. I'm back to not only update but to get another kick in the pants because I like it.
I don’t know why so many others write that they had to cry because of his criticism. I had to laugh so hard, when he mimicked us about our neediness. I feel so caught. This is exactly what i think about me at work. I feel guilty about being so needy and straining my coworkers‘ nerves. But laughing about this is good to take away the pressure.
Thank you for the heart, C.S. Joseph! But even more for holding up the mirror to me. I can see that you‘re not being mean to us or mocking us. It was a parody to show us something, and you‘ve nailed it. 😂
INFJs can be very frustrating. I am an INTP who has been in a relationship with an INFJ for nearly 30 years. I have watched Her repeat the exact same pattern of burning down relationships periodically, like clockwork this entire time. I have tried and tried to show Her what She is doing but She never listens. I mean, the pattern is exactly the same and obvious yet She thinks "It will turn out how I fantasized it will this time". "Even though it hasn't the last 20 times I have done it". I am at my wits end with it. I have no idea how to help Her, She doesn't listen to logic or evidence at all. She lets herself be manipulated by liars and predatory people and never sees it coming, ever. No matter how much I show her, look this is what is going on. She never believes me until after She falls flat on Her face yet again. Currently She has encountered one of the emulated ENFPs and is falling for it hook line and sinker. It makes me want to rip my brain out and kick it like a soccer ball. Don't listen to the INTP in the room. 🙄
Hi Great Gookamooka, I'm an INFJ here and have been in a long relationship with an INTP. I get that it's very frustrating to see it coming, trying to warn her but still not being able to prevent these patterns to unfold. I also have a tendancy to do this and my partner finds it really frustrating. The only advice I can give you is to ask her questions, to motivate her to use her thinking, and to check the information/motivation that is provided by this person. Maybe it could also help to tell her that she's a beautiful human being by seeing the potential in others and having the will and endurance to help them. Also, when you notice her feeling bad about something this person did, try not to shame her by saying "I told you so", that's really not helping. Eventhough she might not appreciate the way you warn her or confront her about these patterns, know that is really import that you keep on trying and be loyal to her, as you have been for all those years. INTP's are usually right, although it can take a lot of time and effort for the INTP to convince the INFJ. She's a lucky woman to have you!
Only she can save herself! I’m talking as an INFJ who has been through suicidal thoughts and prolonged depression. You don’t need to be great to be useful.
Sounds like my husband. I eventually got it. It can take a while to see. They do eventually see. Maybe the switch is about to give the aha moment. Don't be afraid to talk straight and direct to her. Beating around the bush doesn't work, it's frustrating for an INFJ. The more direct and accurate, the better.
How are you supposed to trust what others say if you are supposed to play detective. I have trust issues and am an INFJ. I go based on patterns of behavior, not anything that someone says
Instead of a social engineer video it felt more like a motivational one and being am infj I could relate to each and every word you'd said. Thank you for introducing me to my weaknesses and motivating me at the same time.
I don't think it's a vanity 'recognition' thing for most INFJs. It's because they need others to mirror the unseen undervalued hidden self that's been so injured, rejected, abandoned, and traumatized in their early years (due to their higher emotional sensitivity to and need for proper social mirroring) to reflect and affirm that they matter. I think INFJs out of all types are at highest risk of suffering the most consequences from early emotional trauma.
man the fact that you understand whats always going through my head and we havent talked to each other shows you really have a good grasp on the INFJ psych. ppl often ask me i wonder whats on your mind and im like you dont wanna know whats going on in my head, theres too much shit to process and I hate it. that trying to heal ppl through sex and fear of abandonment are so prevalent its scary
Absolutely scorching. I can tell that your personal feelings towards INFJs you know are getting mixed in here. Personally, I could never forgive myself if I cheated on somebody I loved. Even imagining it would hurt me. Authenticity and integrity are core to my being.
I really appreciated this video. I've watched this, and a number of your INFJ videos several times this week each time looking a little deeper and deeper into the individual wordings. I hope that other real INFJ's who are going through self sabotage as mentioned in this video (and many others in your collection) gather as much insight as I believe that I have from this video. I've got into personality types over the last year because I've noticed these same patterns happening in myself which have both stunned and stifled me. Over the last year I feel that there's now a big mirror pointed right at me because I can see myself a bit more clearly, but at the same time not really understanding myself and feeling like it's something I could ever quite grasp. I've been labeled as many things in my life, but the one's that I've taken in the most are worthless and unloveable. Words spoken to me years and years ago but still resinating in my mind as I see actions and reactions from others which gift strength to the wordings. For a while I was finally away from these words, I was living a happy life. I was doing what I love with people who seemed to value ideals that seemed enticing to me and unobtainable. Friendship and family. Not knowing that their viewpoints of obtaining friendship and family were all a manipulation strategy and that surrounding me was toxicity. I was striving everyday to do the best that I could be through fear that if I stop I would lose it all and I thought I was moving towards what my path was leading me towards-- what I really thought I wanted out of life to work in film. Not really sure what I wanted to do, but wanted to do what they wanted me to do. Which was literally everything. I had eight jobs on set ranging from visual effects supervisor, to second AC, to make up and wardrobe, to first AD, and occasionally just a PA it felt like doing meaningless jobs such as grabbing stuff from the store to make a last minute fog tube of death. I got injuries on set such as a concussion and kept moving forward with my speech bing slurred for most of the production. I even lost 38 pounds in a three week production because in the time I was only getting maybe one meal a day because I was under their whim and control not understanding that the 'good' I was doing for the production was all for the directors gain. The idea of family that seemed enticing was all a strategy for manipulating us all to make his future better. For his personal gain. It took the rest of the 'awaken' crew members to pull me out which they managed to do through a series of interventions which didn't even worked until a few months after I got another job that actually showed the true meaning of teamwork (since it's more of a corporate job I refuse the word family since I don't believe I'm seen as such). Until I watched this video and went through another two years of life and experiences I noticed self sabotage in myself. It's something that I was ashamed of and still am because I know it's unjust and I probably don't have all of the answers. That's why I really appreciated this video. I somewhat had a grasp of what was going on, but still didn't have that full picture. I didn't completely door slam, though I was getting super close. I did put everyone that lead to my corruption on a tight leash and the many who saved them as my personal heroes. Though yes this was a really hard time in my life because I did believe I was smart enough not to be manipulated or to believe lies. Manipulation can take many forms and from many people. I think as INFJ's we need not to believe everything that we hear or 'drop our panties' as CS Joseph says that we do. We do need to verify and in doing so actually see the fires around you and the damage and not to think that it's the others doing the damage. Thank you CS Joseph for being the grand pedagogue. We do have much to learn as human beings as well. I feel that before we can better others, we have to better ourselves or else we could share the corruption with the world. The world is corrupted enough without adding more corruption. As a side note for any other INFJ's who are personally battling with the corruption and the pain that others cause remember you are also worth the space you occupy and the words that come out of your mouths. I need you, CS Joseph needs you and the world needs you to live out our purposes. Maybe we only feel worthless because what people told us from in the past or feeling how others feel about us. That can spiral as you age and as you grow. Maybe some of the corruption also lies in ourselves because if we believe in the lies, aren't we contributing to the darkness and feeding it? That darkness can swallow us whole and leave us without a trace of who we are and why we are. It makes you wallow in self pity and surrounds you in sabotage. Is that we want? Is that what we need? It's the toughest battle of our lives and there will be times when we're down, we're low to the ground and we may cut ourselves and maybe want to end it all. If we do, we're letting the corruption and the lies win. It's all not for nothing, it can't be and the world can't change if there isn't action. People can't change by themselves but people can be better. We need to vocalize it. We need to express without expecting. We need to stop acting like we have all of the answers and remember that we are after all flawed human beings. Guess what, everyone is a flawed human being. Your fellow man is a flawed human being. That mirror shouldn't be shattered, that inner critic keeps us in check too. Make sure though that it receives only honesty. We need honesty to grow, to become what we must become. If you look at the world with different lenses, no matter how many lenses you view it through you soon realize a pattern emerging. This big, obvious thing that is missing; honesty and that void is filled with corruption in its most tainted form. I feel like that's why INFJ's are often on forums, and I know I've visited a few in the last year, but those I feel also get to the point where they become toxic and more of a witch hunt for narcissist it seems like. We can't just improve our fellow man, I feel like we have to work together and improve ourselves. That would be really difficult now that I'm actually thinking about it because INFJ's desperately want to be the caring one in any relationship whether platonic or romantic. I know one of my good friends is an INFJ and we have a secret code that when one of us needs assistance we are to drop everything we're doing and help. We both forgot the code though because we don't want to bother the other even though we talk about our depression in passing with each other and our hardships after the moment has passed. Maybe if there was a website for anonymous posts about how to go through tough moments in life that anyone could contribute to that were relatable and not just people wanting to stir up drama. Just spitballing here. I know I kind of lost my words at the end there, but I just wanted to end with maybe a solution to solving this dilemma we're all faced with... life. A life that we all live and we all have to experience for ourselves. A life that we're constantly wishing could be better. It can be better, we just have to constantly want to be the change. Just listen to Dreaming With Your Eyes Open by Witt Lowry who I believe is an INFJ. It will change your life for the better.
Thank you for the tough love, it is truly what we need. I have fallen into these cognitive loops and traps leading to great damage to myself and those close to me. I will pursue the truth and vow to be greater than I was yesterday.
The way he emphasizes how useful I am repetitively just makes me feel so good about myself! Kudos for trying to accommodate for infj viewers and bringing motivation and inspiration to us.
You've helped me so much There's many people around me who dont wanna listen to me or take my advices when i try to help them and only whine about how terrible their life is instead of actually fixing it which makes me really question why im around them in the first place,, but leaving them has always made me feel like im a bad person and that instead of trying to help them im gonna leave them but an enfp told me "you cant cure the ones who love being sick" but i still felt like thats my purpose. You just confirmed it that its exactly what i shouldnt do and i am very thankful you do what you do. Im currently learning how to respect and appreciate myself and you have no idea how much this helped me, i am so thankful you post these videos criticizing and guiding us Thank you.
Yeah.. from knowing a couple of them personally, ENFP are kinda gross and kinda great. They think believing they are a great is enough for them to be great people. INFJs are kind of what ENFP would like to be ?
It’s taken years to stop over valuing importance of others and get totally manipulated. Years of speaking up, learning to verify info, and helping others has been my mission. My relationships have been the most challenging as an INFJ. I tend to lose some of my identity at times and let others control me. You have to counter the inner critic constantly to avoid that behavior. It’s difficult. You are right. My support system gives me no mercy and tells me the truth which has helped so much. You have to just jump into action and not think too much or you get stuck in the inner critic world. Yes when I am in my purpose, I am so much happier. I don’t feel worthless as much as I used to be. I focus on self growth daily and helping others to stay on track. Yes we are abstract. Yes when I am in the truth, I can make things happen. Yes, suicidal thoughts can arise if you don’t battle the inner critic. Some people fight me when I try to improve fellow man. Irritating. Lol. What an epic statement, “You don’t have to believe in yourself.” Just do it. Rise up. Yes!! You remind me of one of my mentors in my 20’s. He was hard core. Even though I have severe seizures and have multi health issues, I push on as well. Your son is inspiring. I used to idealize dirt bags haha. I love how you describe the INFJ. Luckily, I have grown a thicker skin. It takes hard work. Thank you for your input. :).
If I'm understanding this lecture correctly, INFJ integrity is devotion to truth, whereas their corruption is devotion to perception? For example, a truth-orientated INFJ seeking to be good at poetry will actually try to be good at it. On the other hand, a perception-orientated INFJ will simply write what brings the best criticism, learning more so to deceive than anything else?
So true about ENTPs bringing truth to INFJs and keeping them real! My former partner was an ENTP and he brazenly challenged all my beliefs (especially in “ credentialed” folks, one of your big complaints about INJFs) He was harsh and abrasive, but true about a lot of things. I definitely learned a lot from him and he’s the one who made my skin thick enough to face hard truths and not shy away when I have ground to stand. You ENTPs really are teachers for us! (BTW we have a child, so we still have to deal with each other, but after watching a lot of your videos, I understand him a lot more and the process has been a lot easier than it would have otherwise, so thanks for all the info you share!!)
I found this video while researching my type, and... It's the most gut-wrenching look at myself I've ever seen. You've literally hit on all of my weaknesses. My Fi critic causing me endless self-hatred and self-doubt, which in turn causes me to crave validation and recognition. It's caused me to be so weak to manipulative losers that almost ruined my relationship with an amazing person. And I struggled so much to cut out those losers even though I almost destroyed everything good I had because of them. I really did have tears in my eyes because of your conviction and your truth. I think of all the MBTI information I've gathered, this is what I most need to apply in my life. It's a wake up call. It's the sword of truth pointing back at us, as we would tend to do to someone to try to improve them. You actually kind of mirror an INFJ with this tactic. If I give harsh truths with the intent of bettering someone, I'll point out what they're capable of at their best as well, and what not improving can do to their lives. Thank you for this. Thank you for reminding me I need to live in integrity and truth and not dwell so much in feelings and needing validation. Living life outside of my integrity is what has caused me the most pain. Luckily, it's not too late for me to change. Being able to trust if someone has ulterior motives or not is still difficult for me to do.
Can I just say: thanks for keeping it real! Someone has to do it and I have respect for you because you call us out on what we’re doing wrong/not doing right. I love how you dissect us INFJs (btw your passion is amazing!) and rip us apart and motivate us at the same exact time. While I couldn’t figure out how to feel, everything that you said is true and I relished in it. If you want to live by the truth then you have to be willing to get hurt. Chase I’m sorry you went through so much crap but I’m so thankful you didn’t allow any of that to corrupt you, and instead it refined you so you are able to guide others to do positive things with this knowledge. I will now watch Good Will Hunting.
Like many others have stated this is invaluable information for a developing INFJ. So many of these attitudes are developed in our youth. Trauma seems to be a theme; Optimism becomes a coping/survival mechanism. *Our Life* becomes very different from the *standard* that we know we could excel in. The *loyalty* you speak to is so important! I don't want to make this too long but we can discuss in private because (stereotypically I want to support your vision). Again, young INFJs really don’t understand how dismal these situations can get. Thanks, Chase🙏🏾
This is quite powerful. Thank you. "Now the time has come. TIME. There's no place to run." " How can we dance while our earth is turning. How can we sleep while our beds are burning." No worries- All forward.
Some of your words, to me, felt so powerful and "hit home" so hard that I actually started to tear up. Thank you for your honesty and for sharing your wisdom.
Wow, this hit hard. Thank you for you efforts in producing this video. Your message was well received on this side and much appreciated. I will definitely rewatch this more than once. Wherever you are, I hope you are doing well~ :)
As an INFJ, my failure to launch came from being enmired up to my eyeballs in a false narrative of victimhood. In my mid to late 20s I had a wakeup call and decided to take full responsibility for my life, and now my life has transformed monumentally and I now live a life that can actually be an inspiration to others. I feel so much fulfillment from it
I've recently imploded on myself from intense feelings of worthlessness. I convinced myself that I was worthless and I deserved everything bad to happen to me. I stopped trying, failed out of nursing school, and almost caused several breakups between me and my INTJ boyfriend. The amount of depression and self-sabotage made me lose sight of any future because 'nothing mattered'. My INTJ boyfriend had no idea what my feelings were (I kept them inside), he assumed I was 'lazy', and only mentioned my failures. No praises. When I finally explained I was extremely depressed in nursing school, he said "depression is an excuse and I was just lazy". I'm currently out of my complete feelings of worthlessness. I'm trying to understand why I think the way I do, why I felt so worthless, and what patterns of unhealthy thinking led me to that point. Your videos have helped me realize unhealthy patterns of behavior and I am trying to be more conscious of them. You seem very frustrated towards INFJs. I know a lot of INFJs are feeling attacked by the aggressive delivery of your advice, but I know it's from a good place in your heart. I appreciate your videos.
C.S. Joseph Who are confused INFPs? The ones feeling attacked? I love Frank James! His 16 personalities comedy sketches are always entertaining. I didn’t know he was giving out incorrect info. 🧐
It’s tough to distinguish between truth and lie, when we tend to give everyone the benefit of the doubt. Furthermore, truth to one person may be a lie to the other, depending on their own belief. Situation changes, truth changes too. But I totally agree with u, we should continuously seek the truth and view the same issue from multiple perspectives. But we should also leave room for uncertainties and accepting that we may not fully understand the other person as we are not them. Thanks for the video 🙏
Excellent video, Chase. I was able to pass along some really interesting stuff to my INFJ brother. He is stuck in an INFJ rut and I've been trying to get him into type for a long time to try and kickstart him, and make him realize how many of the typical weaknesses of INFJs he is exhibiting on a daily basis. Thank you!
"Get the losers out of your life because if you don't you are going to keep mirroring them" This one hit home, hard. The good news is that nowadays I am not in "saving everyone" mode anymore. I have come to understand the importance of surrounding myself with the right people, even if that means that sometimes there will be no one by my side. Sometimes you just have to burn all your social relationships to the ground to build yourself a new, worthy life. I stopped pouring myself into one-sided relationships, left the spae to see if others would come to me not only to take but also to give, and most of them didn't. The moment I started defining my standards and setting my boundaries, a lot of people just disappeared. Some of them even lashed out. I felt so light like I never have before. Of course, it wasn't easy to be alone, to lose them, but I realized that I never had them in the first place: they had me instead. It was a one-way street, one that was draining me. I also want to say that all the unhealthy traits you described are an exact portrait of who I was from my teenage years to my late twenties. I found a mentor, a great one, who I believe was an unhealthy INFJ. He taught me well, though. Paradoxically, he gave me the tools to recognize his manipulation and find a way out. I saw what fear of abandonment and a sense of worthlessness can do to a person, and I could see myself becoming somehow like him if I am not careful. I know I have the potential to go down that path and I do not want to. I will not. Thank you for your video. I know I will watch it many times in the future, there is so much substance to absorb, but the best part is that I identify myself much more with the healthy INFJ, the strong one, the one who sets boundaries, is aware of their flaws and pays attention not to be manipulated by others. Especially that part that is always hungry for external approval and acceptance. In short, I am closer to becoming the INFJ who has learned to guard their heart and soul while still helping others. Thank you, once again ♥
I run a hub for INFJs and i came to watch this to figure how to 'manage' a particularly unmotivated member. Here's my thoughts about this video: 1. CS Joseph gets it right in terms of understanding the necessity and 'purpose' of INFJs in the world. They are here to make the world a better place, in whatever way they choose to interpret and channel that 2. He underestimates INFJs intelligence and their susceptibility to getting taken in by slick salesmen/women. Nah.... They look upon the world more with eyes of skepticism (one polite eyebrow raised) than eyes of gullibility. ISFJ, INFP, ESFJ, ESFJ, even ISTJ are more bound to get taken in by snake oil schemes than INFJs. This is mostly because INFJs are not motivated by material matters but live for 'eternal' (aka abstract and idealistic) values. 3. This video is not so much about being gloomy, dark or depressive about the INFJ condition but more of a tough love wake up call, which may be useful for an INFJ going through a 'dark night of the soul' 4. I do not agree with some of the typings he has arrived at, Gary Vaynerchuk for instance screams ESTP to me 5. As an INFJ, i am in no way drawn to ENFPs for romantic relationships, they lack the stability that i constantly seek 6. The INFJ neediness is mostly seen in younger INFJs. With time, they get beyond that and seek relationships that are functional, useful, and in tune with their overall 'purpose' 7. The need for INFJs to establish standards and boundaries is real and on point 8. Criticizing people, as suggested with the 'sword of fire' analogy is not an effective mode of influencing people for an INFJ. It leaves them wracked with guilt, feeling terrible about themselves, and causes disconnection with the other party. Harmony is necessary if they are to remain connected with others. INFJs influence better by affirming and motivating. Affirming, encouraging and motivating allows them to remain centered and serene and in their power, and enables a harmonious and effective outcome. A disclaimer must be made here however. This strategy will not work with everyone and for that reason, the INFJ must be very selective about the people they let into their circle and choose to work with. They must not agree to get chosen by others, they are the ones that must do the choosing. It is not by accident that Jesus is notable for having chosen the 12 disciples to work with him. Much as he loved all people, he did not allow all and sundry into his space. Yes, there is the wee fact that one of these disciples ended up betraying him to the authorities and causing his eventual death, but, that is a story for a whole other day 9. ENFPs are not the force for evil for the INFJ as they are made out to be here. They will love and understand the INFJ when no one else will, something that gives a lot of solace to the INFJ at their loneliest and darkest times. ENFPs make great therapists for INFJs because despite their seeming flightiness, they are deep, soulful and non-judgemental
My best friend is an ENFP, she pulls me out of the Ni-Ti loop with her spontaneity. I absolutely love healthy ENFP’s. I don’t mind her flightiness with concrete plans, because emotionally and spiritually she is always there for me (she’s also always physically there for me if I need her). I agree though that I couldn’t see it working in a romantic relationship. I think maybe INFJ male/ENFP female combo would work but less so the other way around. Also, I think immature INFJ’s CAN be drawn to sociopaths if the sociopaths/narcissists are intelligent and can have intelligent conversations. I think the sociopath would recognize early on what they are dealing with and really be an expert at hiding themselves for a while. This happened to me but after the second manipulation attempt I door slammed the sociopath. It was still a mind fuck for me that I didn’t detect it sooner. I could quickly see he came from a lot of trauma though.
Wow! I appreciate your cut-throat style of addressing infj's. Key statements you made about infj's being useless unless in action is so on base. Good pep talk! You motivated me for sure! Thx pal!
You blew my mind Chase; this is the best video I have ever seen on INFJ advice…I have been following your channel for a few years, but now it’s all becoming clearer and I am starting to understand. I recently watched Clay Arnall’s channel…he claims to be an INFJ, but clearly is not…also he has many INFJ’s who watch him. At first I took him at his word that he was an INFJ, but I couldn’t find a single thing in his videos to verify that and I couldn’t understand why, other INFJ didn’t seem to notice or care…I was appalled and stopped watching his channel…But I can see your point why, INFJ can be the most useless of all MBTI types…I prefer to be a strong INFJ 💪 and not useless..
You also have to understand some Infj do not want to bear all that responsibility. Some of them just want to live simply. But, I see your point and passion through your anger. It is what it is.
I gotta say, the stuff you say hits me in waves, I listen to it, not only to learn, but also it reaffirms my emotional state, I know I'm doing not good things when I come back to what you say, thank you for not actually talking about how to manipulate INFJ's, rather how the manipulation of INFJ's is so bad, that we have to fight back, because we're already aware that we get manipulated, we just accept it way too often, I do often imagine that I have a holy sword strapped to my back, and I have to use it to fix the hidden underlying evils in the world, while refraining from using it in case I'm on the wrong path
I literally cried after you calling me worthless and encourage me to live my purpose. Recently I think I settled a bit and a smack in the head is what I need. I love ENTP so much for their brutal honesty. 😭❤ Thank you CSJ!
I am going through a tough time now in life and it feels difficult to pick myself up. I don't know why just the thought that I would want to add value to others , help the underprivileged in India , support a cause creates fire in my heart and makes me pick myself up. I realised this thing that I am more driven by others needs. I don't know why I am like this.
My brother is INFJ 28yo and he actually is really good at investing(cryptocurrency), he went from like about 1k euro to 30k in few years(If I remember correctly), and I see that, most of the things u say that INFJ have to improve he already did it, and you are definetly right, he is now really so much practical , he also thinks to start a buisness. Im INFP 18 yo, and most of the life i spent with him and I saw how he improved my Ti Demon and Ni Critic, because he managed to learn them in a very good way, Im proud of him, And improved my Te inferior to not always believe what other people say, but rather to do a deep research and see if they are telling the truth or not, and he taught me actually, if u don't want to lose your reputation just "fake" that u agree what other people say, but after that make research about it and keep the truth to yourself, because u cant change people definitely those who really hard believe in what they believe is true even if isn't. Thanks for those videos Joseph! :) they help a lot.
I wish I had a dad like you, Thank you for being such a wonderful dad. I am so glad your son made it through and I hope to see him full of grace and love in the future! I agree, I self taught and my field I know more than almost all of the people I work with! What??? I hate teams, I work alone or not at all! Personal standards - this is based on how you are raised. I was raised to be very strong and have always had extremely high personal standards.
We can't do a lot as INFJs because most people don't listen to us! I do have a dead end job as a window cleaner, but I am writing a book. I love your tough love! I can relate to it. We DO need it. Sorry for multiple posts!
Listening to this has really helped me realize how fortunate I was to have terrific mentors in the workplace. They showed me through their support what was possible in ways I never knew were possible. Only just now have a come to realize that the assignments they gave me and the support they showed me helped create a more evolved INFJ by bringing out the ESTP in me through the years. I didn’t know it at the time but watching your video now has helped me understand.
Whos the books author mentioned at 37:10? Cant find it
Crush It!: Why NOW Is the Time to Cash In on Your Passion
Author: Gary Vaynerchuk
👍🏻@@CSJoseph
@@CSJoseph Crushing It!: How Great Entrepreneurs Build Their Business and Influence-and How You Can, Too Kindle Edition
by Gary Vaynerchuk (Author) Good you specified because I found that one as well from same author.
One correction: the INFJ Si demon suicide is most definitively NOT for show (with a few exceptions on self-harm only). Quite the opposite: If they could, I'm sure most INFJs would prefer to slip away quietly. No drama, no tears, no funeral...nothing. Their existential despair can be very real and deeply painful. I'm sure many have forced themselves to linger on only because of the effect their suicide would have on family and loved ones. How we wish to bypass the drama, anguish, and reactions of others. INFJs end up feeling trapped. They don't see the point of living this ridiculous Matrix construct. Damned if they do and damned if they don't.
Thats infp imo
Totally agree
@@Sunny-zs3ee types can be similar, its not a black white case.
This damned if they do damned if they don't kind of comes from Intp.. sometimes all seems like a mixture
Frr.
During my suicidal years the only thing I wished for was go somewhere no-one knows me n just live alone for however long that is
As an INFJ, I feel the need to add one important thing. This video should be addressed to underdeveloped/immature INFJs. This video would have been VERY useful for me as a teenager, thank you for taking the time to make it.
Sara Dahioui relatable. Another video would be helpful because I found myself disagreeing with a lot of this.
JaclynGlenn yo that’s cool to see you up in here you helped me realize I was an atheist like 5 years ago lol.
I am a mature INFJ . I have never gone as far as the negative listed in this Lecture , I am also not Vulnerable to ENFP trick and I have never cheated on any one. But I do recognize the potential and reasons for every thing mentioned. (added latter -----------> I have been Vulnerable to the ENFP trick In the past but I have not lost out as badly as the examples).
@@Jaclyn Whoa you're an infj? Huh..
This also should be noted that just because someone can't relate to this video, doesn't mean they are a mature INFJ.
Because, an actual INFP with "special snowflake" syndrome & "Ti demon" reading this comment be like... "Oh yeah.... this is why I can't relate to the video, bc this is only for immature INFJs, and I'm a mature INFJ".
LOL 🤦♀️.
Holy damn. Does INFJs really feel like this all the time? Time to hug my INFJ friends a lot more and tell them how great they are.
Dean Cain it’s helped me soooo much to understand why I feel worthless always despite great performance in many metrics. It’s great to know that it’s apart of who we INFJ are, it’s tough tho, but it’s our burden and our gift.
Thank you for making the world A better place
It’s one reason INFJs love animals, especially dogs who give unconditional love.
Yeah, it’s tough. We feel like crap and usually get treated the same way. I can totally see Jesus as an INFJ.
yes :/
Any other INFJ's grateful but exhausted?
I feel like that but as an INFP 😊
Always?
Nope. After following him for years, I'm over him.
I like the paladin as a title, I done me some damage to the forces of darkness lol
🙋♀️
Your son is so lucky having you as a father and you are lucky to have him as your son. Bless you both.
"Stop being worthless, it's so annoying"
-CS Joseph
As an INTP I have only met a few INFJ’s, but they are my favorite type. I have learned the most from them and their emotional depth is unbelievable. The conversations are always great and there is mutual growth going on. Keep being integral and don’t lose sight from your dreams people!
I have a feeling every INFJ could write a book about their life story, although it wouldn’t be an easy read 😂
Aha! nmh
I started to write a book, had about 7 chapters done, but it was so convoluted I couldn't actually distill the content into an easy to read from the start kind of format...
Yes the discipline of writing a well written book is harder than many people realise.
I totally get the convoluted issue. I have a good tip. Use 3 scripts. One is a list of things you need to put in. Doesn’t need to be in order. Second is a plan with bullet points and summaries and arrows etc. Thord is the actual script here you add to it when inspiration strikes.
So if you have a messy script, go through it and order it if you can. Transfer plan or structure to a second script and work from there.
Amazing tip, thank you.m
I can answer why so many INFJ retreats into things like games instead of the outside world. Dominant people are conflict driven and scary, people that seem nice have most likely turned out to be backstabbers, and for the female INFJ especially theres pretty high chances that she has attracted enough creeps scaring her that walking outside is terrifying and draining and feels like walking into a tornado where flying debree cuts you and bruises you. I broke free of that feeling but I lived with it for years and years. We definitely think we are worthless as well because we do get treated like crap a lot. Friends only talk with an agenda to get their INFJ fix like a drug and I feel like a bucket they pour their crap in for me to carry so for the longest time I felt like my purpose in life was to be cut, bruised and carry shit like an abused mule. I did break free but since you asked "WHY DO YOU DO THIS??" This is why. Treated like crap -> feel like crap -> act like crap.
Ambi Cahira infj here and I have to say that I’m sorry that there are more men like that out there than what you would consider a gentlemen I just want to let you know not all men are like that
@Ambi Cahira Indeed! People don’t come to INFJs unless they are in distress. And then also, they don’t accept the suggestions/help. Such people keep their spiral of helplessness on and do nothing, even after suggestion. And when they are asked to apply that suggestion, they blame the INFJ for being intrusive. Also, it shocks to know when they demean the only way out of a distressful situation which an INFJ has suggested. When they don’t want to apply the suggestion or let INFJ help, then why ask them for it? (I’m not talking about the times when they only want to be heard)
💯 relatable.
Ambi Cahira I never retreated into games. I retreated into internal anxiety and panic. Then I turned 18, went to college. And grew the fuck up. I actually got to really know, other humans. Realized how much I connect and can relate to people. And that I’m not as weird as I thought.. but I hate needy people. I guess I have so much empathy, and this is where we get hurt. But, I don’t see that we can avoid this and still be ourselves.
@@priyankayadav0110 That is so true! Most people they sek INFJs out are in distress. They want help, warmth, advice. Then they go do the same thing that got them in to trouble over and over again.
I have a very very nice friend that unfortunately is surrounded by NPD family. They use her, take advantage, backstab & frontstab het. When she just can't stand it anymore, she comes to me. I talk to her about setting boundaries, not giving the NPD family money they just blow on themselves instead of their young children (who the money is intended for). At some point, I feel upset at myself & feel like I overstepped boundaries by telling her all this, and I back away a bit.
Then she'll give them money they aren't thankful for & treat her like crap & she'll come to me again. It's sad because it is so ridiculous.
Imagine being in a classroom full of Infjs 😳 and being lectured. You're motivating us to be superhereos. 😁👏🏻
I was involved with an ENFP woman one time and she literally used me. I did exactly what you spoke about, about putting up surety for her. She wanted to study nursing and I went with her to the student revolving loan
and stand sure for her. Long story short, she never paid back a cent, the debtors called me and told me that
I owed them over two thousand dollars, of which I didn't have. I finally wised up when the debtors called the last time and I told them that she worked in government, why don't you take the money from her salary, they never called me back. I can say I am a wiser INFJ now because I am learning from my mistakes. I truly enjoy your talk and I will definitely not be a stranger to your site, may God continue to bless what you are doing.
I agree with the assertion that the INFJ can go for the "lower quality" person. It isn't just fear of abandonment, however, it also relates to the desire to help and protect, which you allude to later. There is almost a sense of obligation. Some of it may come from the "God Complex", but some of it is a genuine desire to use their ability to help people navigate through their lives for good. This flaw caused me to spend much of my life taking the lead and ultimately being more of a parent than a partner. I want a "high quality" person, but saying it and finding one are two very different things. Mature, healthy INFJs are not (or less) susceptible to social engineering, because they install boundaries in their relationships. They have gained self-confidence and self-worth within themselves and don't need validation. One piece that I still struggle with is disconnecting motivation from relationships. In other words, why should I pursue a successful business if I don't have someone to share that success with. I'm still working on that.
Randy Poisson that actually makes a lot of sense I was dating a girl for three years and in the beginning it was great she had emotional health issues and I liked her as a person and I wanted to be there for her little did I know I jumped in too soon and I started seeing her dark side but I couldn’t overlook the person she was even if I was unhappy 3 years down the road I guess she found what she was looking for and left me I was broken for about 3 hours and got back up on my feet cause I remembered I had a deeper vision and purpose to accomplish and I couldn’t let heartbreak stop me from manifesting it into reality and gave me the strength to move forward
@@Grimthunder338 same minus the 3 hours to get over it. I did but I never really did and what I now know what that means is that it taught me not to let myself fall in love with the wrong person, so broken and undeserving of my love for them and energy I put into the relationship. She ignored my advice, didnt give me what I need in the relationship intellectually, wasnt funny and was always mad/depressed. You might ask why I even dated her. I was young alone for a lone time and yes it was the heat of another person occasionally warming my cold alien heart. which i lit on fire for her with the trying with romance and flowers and dates. She would always do something to ruin it relationship-wise. I dont think she was cheating but now I cant say Im sure she wasnt. Only now I realize I must have been a plaything a siily little pitstop she made before tossing me away like a used cum filled sock. I know it now because the sex was the only thing she seemed passionate about and what girl doesn't like the girlfriend exp once in a while with the wine and dine? She was not a gf or wifey material. i thought she could be because she was sweet and seemed to have a good heart but I couldn't see as clearly then as I could now. This left me in a way of not giving girls another second if i notice a red flag. I just pay to play and keep moving forward saving money, GF's are expensive.
Jacob Sawall 3 hours?? Wtf lol. I had a similar thing happen to me but it still fucks me up a bit
To address the last statement about finding motivation.
I feel it’s important to always start with the self. We are wired to do things for the collective humanity. So it’s natural for us to always think about another when pursuing an interest. We always ask how can this help others and not just myself.
What I have discovered, is to love ourselves first like you mentioned. We are told to love our neighbours as ourselves. Now I know that when I pursue a business opportunity, it because I love myself which others will see and will automatically be transformed by our actions. INFJs are transformational leaders. If your actions inspire people to do more, dream more and become more, then you are a transformational leader.
@@midnightgaming.9162 Oh dear.. people tend to use and abuse INFJs until we learn how to deal with them. Look for ENTPs or ENFPs maybe INTJs never go for Sensing types, we need fellow intuitives as a top priority. That's the difference, good health to you!
i feel like only an INFJ would be sincerely grateful for this amount of talking down to
ISFJs might to an extent too, but for the most part, yea.
CS Joseph- the Dark Arts Teacher! ❤️😂
IMPERIO!
Right after Snape! CRUCIO! ;)
This means that there's 100% likelihood that he won't be holding that position the following school year. lol
Expelliarmus!
beaditgirl I know. I was thinking Slitherin and CS even has a wand. 😅
Why do I feel so good about being attacked. More please #INFJ motivation
because you are being *social engineered*
@@johannesschutz780 hmm interesting perspective 🤔
Because Ti truth burns away the lies.. ;) Burn baby, burn!
After revisiting this a couple times, I don’t even feel like it is being attacked anymore
RevRideReason are you sure that’s the part you enjoy....now c’mon....
I always thought improving my fellow man made me look like a jerk, and yet I cant help myself.
preach
I watched so many videos of you. This is the most intense and emotional video u ever pulled. Maybe because u relate so much with INFJ. Your son, your ex. You deeply care about improving people. Thanks for doing this :)
Now I kinda understand why my INFJ cousin tried to commit suicide (he was 16 with an abusive/narcissistic parent). He is in college now and just got offered a high-paying coding job at one of his state’s largest tech companies. I am so happy for him.
As always, thanks for the video Chase. I think it’s so important for people to understand the INFJs. They reek of potential and have always been some of my favorite people.
It's amazing how narcs can produce INFJs..
He hates his job
@@dannewth8011 who says that?!
“If I could wipe the tears from all of your faces, I would. I love you people.”
Chase, that line hit me right in the heart. And you know what? I know it isn’t bullshit. You know how I know it isn’t? Because you have the balls to criticize us INFJs at every possible turn.
If you wanted to social engineer us, it’d be an endless stream of singing praises. But it’s the ones who are in it for the long haul who dare to criticize.
The thing that needs to be impressed upon EVERY SINGLE INFJ is that while we are supposed to make people better, the first person an INFJ should improve is himself.
When that self-respect is there and the Fi critic is told to shut the hell up once in a while, we won’t be socially engineered anymore. When we INFJs surround ourselves with people who really care and who really want us to have self-respect, we will know when a shyster comes calling.
I can’t tell you how much I endorse the “Get the losers out of your life” mentality. Some people can’t be saved. Some people can be saved, but don’t want to be saved. Lead the horse to water, by all means. But if he won’t drink, find a horse who will.
Thank you, Chase, for everything that you do. It makes me very happy to know that people like you are out there.
you are most welcome
I watched the ENTJ one and that one was all positive and confident and jokey. And this one got so dark so quick, I'm shocked.
#selfindulged
It's mainly because INFJs can be either the greatest or worst thing ever.
@@julianmanjarres1998 true.. But clearly CS Jo, got some back story with the alleged INFJ sample. So he got emotional.
He obviously has lots of negative personal experience coloring his perception. His overview of the INFJ was equally as vitriolic and personal. He sounds pretty bitter in both videos. By contrast, some of the videos discussing other types are full of praise for their strengths and downplaying shortcomings or making them seem irrelevant and easily overcome. The INFJ videos seem like an excuse to bash a person or people that did him wrong. He should take his own advice and let it go.
@@lloydtxw preach
Hello there, INFJ here, I have green eyes, I have -o blood type, I can walk through walls, I have laser eye vision as well as telepathy, and I can bend reality to my will. I am clearly a rare and important specimen.
Atomical same. Do you want to date? 😂😂
Save yourself others follow
I'm -0 as well I have blue eyes, you no that celebrity heads game , you have the celebrity head written on the white board behind you, the other team at rehab thought I was cheating because I was reading the patterns in behaviour and expressions on their faces before they answered the first question sometimes and I would get it, I was reading signs I wasn't even aware of . I also happen to know that earth is not a spinning space ball, but I assume that at the time of me writing this , there will not be too many if any people on this page that believe in the spinning space ball religion.
🤣🤣🤣🤣
Not O
My older sister is an INFJ and I’m a chaotic ENTP. Fire and ice. We love each other but damn son are there sparks at times.
“why are you worthless?” Lmao that should be a hoodie
I’d buy it!!! But only at home and laugh every time I look in the mirror 😂
Why did I cackle so hard at this?😂😂😂
God Damn... I've spent years trying to take the world off of my shoulders... like... can't I just play video games like a normal person 😭
@ "stop being co-dependent" I feel so called out lol
to be fair ,I am also calling myself out.
As an infj I have only one entp in my life that has been helping me these past five years since I started working on myself and getting the losers out of my life. Thank you, CS Joseph. Because of your passionate and radical honesty, I’m at a level of integrity that I used to only dream about. Listening to it again today, years later, I’m still baffled by your ability to burn the lies away in us infj’s. Thank you and keep up loving us. Hope your son is healthy and strong. My heart goes out to all INFJ’s. We get so close to death; but we bounce back triumphantly!
As an INFJ I am very pessimistic and I don't always believe good intent. Maybe that was because I was raised by liars around me. I am also my own worse critic. I look at relationships as useful until it is not. Also, people can come in go for various reasons, including death. I feel conflicted about a lot of people in my life, but I am working more on boundaries for my own emotional health. Sorry to hear about your ex. It does sound like she self sabotaged. I don't take cheating lightly either. The only thing I don't agree with on your take of the INFJ is gullibility or flattery. It is hard for me to accept a compliment and really believe it. Also, I am not very suggestable, but doubt intentions of others more than not.
Read some Nietzsche. Start with Human All Too Human and move up from there. After Human All Too Human, read books translate by Kaufman. That Philosopher was very healing for me. It might be the same for you.
Then you are the actual one. You re the real INFJ. I am absolutely similar to you
I also strongy agree with this.
If an Infj is not gullible , then they won't be attracting toxic people very often. The need of wanting to be understood deeply is Something that can also make infj be prone to flattery or gullibility. Healthy mature Infjs would base it more on evidence of actions over time.
Laura InRevison1 same
I (INFJ) have never been so openly been criticized and humiliated and be so! thankful at the same time. Newly discovered that I am an INFJ, my entire life I fell down every hole you talked about. Thank you for your harsh and rude awakening, I enjoyed and learned at the same time.
This is interesting. So I am an ENFP and I love INFJs and what I find with them is that I help them believe in themselves and find their place in the society and social environment, so they can give what they have to offer. I can see how valuable and great people they are but because they are impossibly hard on themselves, they just are stuck at home eating ice cream. Maybe you can call it like ”ENFP screwing them over” but I honestly feel like I have helped so many INFJs to look at beauty of life and to see it in themselves. I think this is where ENFPs help INFJ and not just negatively social engineer/screw them over like it seems to suggest here. I am sorry you have had such a bad time with Tai Lopez but honestly there are a lot of very loving and honestly kind and living in integrity ENFPs out here.
if only you saw the ENFP episode from season 14. ENFPs can be the most important types of the world.
I left a comment above but healthy ENFP’s are my FAVORITE people. As well as INFP’s. I have one of each as my best friends and I am seriously so incredibly grateful for them. I’m going through a divorce and my ENFP friend has been not only a rock when I need her, but she injects fun and spontaneity into my life. I could care less when she double books herself accidentally lol or is “flaky”, since I don’t mind cancelled plans. Every infj needs an ENFP best friend.
@@CSJosephcan you link this? I can't find it
Watching this made me realise: in my 20's I was unhealthy and now in my mid 30's I'm an healthy INFJ. Many thanks!
Infj here. Ive never been attracted to an enfp, they are too flighty and get easily bored.
Chizzy D same, I feel like they can’t be trusted, they’d just get bored and leave😭
Immature ENFP's do yeah.
In this videos he's talking about bad enfp in his examples
I understand what you mean. Immature ENFPs ARE SO HARD TO CONCENTRATE, extremely forgetful, and all of the weakness that can be talked next time. By the way, ESTJs here. I have ENFPs friends and well, you are not alone on that. That is it, for my INFJs friends, I always try to be not easily bored (because I am used to routine) and remind things that they may forgot. Fulfill what they want (provided they are responsible for it) and give choices.
@@youtubing9762 Well, I think it may be due to their underdeveloped parent function and inferior function. That is why they are not reliable. This is also coming, combined from person experience and what I have studied from CSJ's blogs and videos.
Totally man. I have an enfp friend that cannot stand silence
Dude. The mentoring thing between ENTP and INFJ rings true for me. There is one person in my life who I esteem as having more influence and providing more insight and education than any other person I have known and that is an ENTP friend I have had since I was a child. Seriously she has challenged me and helped me to face difficult truths. While sometimes it is uncomfortable to hear such piercing honesty, in the long run she has always been right. She is the wisest person I know. ENTPs are amazing.
Thanks for educating us on our weaknesses, hell we need this shit!
Thank you for all your earnest and excellent work.
I wish people would stop seeing this as negativity. Like we already have this going on were just able to identify its workings with this stuff
even the best of intentions lead to hell.
*drinks ice coffee at three am at dead end job*
U right
Meanwhile i have my cup of hot chocolate coming from dead end jobs too
He right
🤔 Socially engineering us while teaching how to social engineer us, you know very well that INFJ are the only ones watching this. 👌
And so then you and I BOTH know we wont be corrupted so long as we stick to our true paths ;)
I don't think so -intp
Esfp here who would've guessed 🤪😹 I need to socially engineer my infj friend that I don't really understand at all and he pisses me off constantly
Infp here
I'm an ESTP. I intend to watch all of his lectures ♥
You exposed us man. I really needed this, thank you fromthe heart
you are most welcome
I'mnotcryingyou'recrying
Jokes aside. This video changed my whole life and has shaken me to my core. Give me 6 months.
Edit: 6 month update. I was able to heal emotionally and mentally to an extent, and I am pregnant with our first child. I never. Ever. Thought I could get pregnant due to a lot of things including my mental state. He's going to be raised by a healthy INFP father and a been around the block INFJ mother. I am so excited. We are about to close on a house. I am helping multiple people, including an infj, process their narcissistic abuse and become the best they can be. I'm back to not only update but to get another kick in the pants because I like it.
like wise.
I am blown away from the work you do.
Sincerely,
INFJ
you are most welcome
I don’t know why so many others write that they had to cry because of his criticism. I had to laugh so hard, when he mimicked us about our neediness. I feel so caught. This is exactly what i think about me at work. I feel guilty about being so needy and straining my coworkers‘ nerves.
But laughing about this is good to take away the pressure.
Thank you for the heart, C.S. Joseph! But even more for holding up the mirror to me. I can see that you‘re not being mean to us or mocking us. It was a parody to show us something, and you‘ve nailed it. 😂
INFJs can be very frustrating. I am an INTP who has been in a relationship with an INFJ for nearly 30 years. I have watched Her repeat the exact same pattern of burning down relationships periodically, like clockwork this entire time. I have tried and tried to show Her what She is doing but She never listens. I mean, the pattern is exactly the same and obvious yet She thinks "It will turn out how I fantasized it will this time". "Even though it hasn't the last 20 times I have done it". I am at my wits end with it. I have no idea how to help Her, She doesn't listen to logic or evidence at all. She lets herself be manipulated by liars and predatory people and never sees it coming, ever. No matter how much I show her, look this is what is going on. She never believes me until after She falls flat on Her face yet again. Currently She has encountered one of the emulated ENFPs and is falling for it hook line and sinker. It makes me want to rip my brain out and kick it like a soccer ball.
Don't listen to the INTP in the room. 🙄
Great Gookamooka why don’t you break up with her? I wouldn’t be able to stand her :( That being said, I’m entj whose husband is infj. Haha
Hi Great Gookamooka, I'm an INFJ here and have been in a long relationship with an INTP. I get that it's very frustrating to see it coming, trying to warn her but still not being able to prevent these patterns to unfold. I also have a tendancy to do this and my partner finds it really frustrating. The only advice I can give you is to ask her questions, to motivate her to use her thinking, and to check the information/motivation that is provided by this person. Maybe it could also help to tell her that she's a beautiful human being by seeing the potential in others and having the will and endurance to help them. Also, when you notice her feeling bad about something this person did, try not to shame her by saying "I told you so", that's really not helping. Eventhough she might not appreciate the way you warn her or confront her about these patterns, know that is really import that you keep on trying and be loyal to her, as you have been for all those years. INTP's are usually right, although it can take a lot of time and effort for the INTP to convince the INFJ. She's a lucky woman to have you!
@@Hey-nq4ci How is this helping?
Only she can save herself! I’m talking as an INFJ who has been through suicidal thoughts and prolonged depression. You don’t need to be great to be useful.
Sounds like my husband. I eventually got it. It can take a while to see. They do eventually see. Maybe the switch is about to give the aha moment. Don't be afraid to talk straight and direct to her. Beating around the bush doesn't work, it's frustrating for an INFJ. The more direct and accurate, the better.
Is it just me or does anyone else find it hard to take someone who is lecturing you with a Harry Potter wand seriously?
Respect the alchemy! lol
@Lycius Martin. It´s just you, just you, dont worry. Focus on the content instead. like Hermione G.
I already pointed that out, get it?
It's not just any wand dude, it's the elder wand!
So gay 😂 I hate Harry Potter.
How are you supposed to trust what others say if you are supposed to play detective. I have trust issues and am an INFJ. I go based on patterns of behavior, not anything that someone says
I don't worry a great deal about what words are being said until I sense that everything else matches it.
The last two INFJ videos I’ve watched from
You have been langry. ( Lovingly angry ). I for one think INFJ’s hear it better this way.
Instead of a social engineer video it felt more like a motivational one and being am infj I could relate to each and every word you'd said.
Thank you for introducing me to my weaknesses and motivating me at the same time.
I don't think it's a vanity 'recognition' thing for most INFJs. It's because they need others to mirror the unseen undervalued hidden self that's been so injured, rejected, abandoned, and traumatized in their early years (due to their higher emotional sensitivity to and need for proper social mirroring) to reflect and affirm that they matter. I think INFJs out of all types are at highest risk of suffering the most consequences from early emotional trauma.
man the fact that you understand whats always going through my head and we havent talked to each other shows you really have a good grasp on the INFJ psych. ppl often ask me i wonder whats on your mind and im like you dont wanna know whats going on in my head, theres too much shit to process and I hate it. that trying to heal ppl through sex and fear of abandonment are so prevalent its scary
This makes me feel paranoid that I might be an INFJ.
This is the most accurate INFJ explanation like, ever.
Absolutely scorching. I can tell that your personal feelings towards INFJs you know are getting mixed in here. Personally, I could never forgive myself if I cheated on somebody I loved. Even imagining it would hurt me. Authenticity and integrity are core to my being.
I really appreciated this video. I've watched this, and a number of your INFJ videos several times this week each time looking a little deeper and deeper into the individual wordings. I hope that other real INFJ's who are going through self sabotage as mentioned in this video (and many others in your collection) gather as much insight as I believe that I have from this video. I've got into personality types over the last year because I've noticed these same patterns happening in myself which have both stunned and stifled me. Over the last year I feel that there's now a big mirror pointed right at me because I can see myself a bit more clearly, but at the same time not really understanding myself and feeling like it's something I could ever quite grasp. I've been labeled as many things in my life, but the one's that I've taken in the most are worthless and unloveable. Words spoken to me years and years ago but still resinating in my mind as I see actions and reactions from others which gift strength to the wordings. For a while I was finally away from these words, I was living a happy life. I was doing what I love with people who seemed to value ideals that seemed enticing to me and unobtainable. Friendship and family. Not knowing that their viewpoints of obtaining friendship and family were all a manipulation strategy and that surrounding me was toxicity. I was striving everyday to do the best that I could be through fear that if I stop I would lose it all and I thought I was moving towards what my path was leading me towards-- what I really thought I wanted out of life to work in film. Not really sure what I wanted to do, but wanted to do what they wanted me to do. Which was literally everything. I had eight jobs on set ranging from visual effects supervisor, to second AC, to make up and wardrobe, to first AD, and occasionally just a PA it felt like doing meaningless jobs such as grabbing stuff from the store to make a last minute fog tube of death. I got injuries on set such as a concussion and kept moving forward with my speech bing slurred for most of the production. I even lost 38 pounds in a three week production because in the time I was only getting maybe one meal a day because I was under their whim and control not understanding that the 'good' I was doing for the production was all for the directors gain. The idea of family that seemed enticing was all a strategy for manipulating us all to make his future better. For his personal gain. It took the rest of the 'awaken' crew members to pull me out which they managed to do through a series of interventions which didn't even worked until a few months after I got another job that actually showed the true meaning of teamwork (since it's more of a corporate job I refuse the word family since I don't believe I'm seen as such). Until I watched this video and went through another two years of life and experiences I noticed self sabotage in myself. It's something that I was ashamed of and still am because I know it's unjust and I probably don't have all of the answers. That's why I really appreciated this video. I somewhat had a grasp of what was going on, but still didn't have that full picture. I didn't completely door slam, though I was getting super close. I did put everyone that lead to my corruption on a tight leash and the many who saved them as my personal heroes. Though yes this was a really hard time in my life because I did believe I was smart enough not to be manipulated or to believe lies. Manipulation can take many forms and from many people. I think as INFJ's we need not to believe everything that we hear or 'drop our panties' as CS Joseph says that we do. We do need to verify and in doing so actually see the fires around you and the damage and not to think that it's the others doing the damage. Thank you CS Joseph for being the grand pedagogue. We do have much to learn as human beings as well. I feel that before we can better others, we have to better ourselves or else we could share the corruption with the world. The world is corrupted enough without adding more corruption.
As a side note for any other INFJ's who are personally battling with the corruption and the pain that others cause remember you are also worth the space you occupy and the words that come out of your mouths. I need you, CS Joseph needs you and the world needs you to live out our purposes. Maybe we only feel worthless because what people told us from in the past or feeling how others feel about us. That can spiral as you age and as you grow. Maybe some of the corruption also lies in ourselves because if we believe in the lies, aren't we contributing to the darkness and feeding it? That darkness can swallow us whole and leave us without a trace of who we are and why we are. It makes you wallow in self pity and surrounds you in sabotage. Is that we want? Is that what we need? It's the toughest battle of our lives and there will be times when we're down, we're low to the ground and we may cut ourselves and maybe want to end it all. If we do, we're letting the corruption and the lies win. It's all not for nothing, it can't be and the world can't change if there isn't action. People can't change by themselves but people can be better. We need to vocalize it. We need to express without expecting. We need to stop acting like we have all of the answers and remember that we are after all flawed human beings. Guess what, everyone is a flawed human being. Your fellow man is a flawed human being. That mirror shouldn't be shattered, that inner critic keeps us in check too. Make sure though that it receives only honesty. We need honesty to grow, to become what we must become. If you look at the world with different lenses, no matter how many lenses you view it through you soon realize a pattern emerging. This big, obvious thing that is missing; honesty and that void is filled with corruption in its most tainted form.
I feel like that's why INFJ's are often on forums, and I know I've visited a few in the last year, but those I feel also get to the point where they become toxic and more of a witch hunt for narcissist it seems like. We can't just improve our fellow man, I feel like we have to work together and improve ourselves. That would be really difficult now that I'm actually thinking about it because INFJ's desperately want to be the caring one in any relationship whether platonic or romantic. I know one of my good friends is an INFJ and we have a secret code that when one of us needs assistance we are to drop everything we're doing and help. We both forgot the code though because we don't want to bother the other even though we talk about our depression in passing with each other and our hardships after the moment has passed. Maybe if there was a website for anonymous posts about how to go through tough moments in life that anyone could contribute to that were relatable and not just people wanting to stir up drama. Just spitballing here. I know I kind of lost my words at the end there, but I just wanted to end with maybe a solution to solving this dilemma we're all faced with... life. A life that we all live and we all have to experience for ourselves. A life that we're constantly wishing could be better. It can be better, we just have to constantly want to be the change. Just listen to Dreaming With Your Eyes Open by Witt Lowry who I believe is an INFJ. It will change your life for the better.
Thank you for the tough love, it is truly what we need. I have fallen into these cognitive loops and traps leading to great damage to myself and those close to me. I will pursue the truth and vow to be greater than I was yesterday.
The way he emphasizes how useful I am repetitively just makes me feel so good about myself! Kudos for trying to accommodate for infj viewers and bringing motivation and inspiration to us.
I was going to say... it makes me feel good and bad at the same time 😂
You seem like a wizard with that wand of yours. You should do more videos with that.
i have many
Patrick Glaser
All I can find in there is a spell for defroggifying princesses
And each wand costs $50 at Universal Studios, Orlando FL 😂😆🤓
😆
Most razor sharp constructive but brutal critique I greatly appreciate. I wish I'd found this earlier and heeded it!
You've helped me so much
There's many people around me who dont wanna listen to me or take my advices when i try to help them and only whine about how terrible their life is instead of actually fixing it which makes me really question why im around them in the first place,, but leaving them has always made me feel like im a bad person and that instead of trying to help them im gonna leave them but an enfp told me "you cant cure the ones who love being sick" but i still felt like thats my purpose. You just confirmed it that its exactly what i shouldnt do and i am very thankful you do what you do. Im currently learning how to respect and appreciate myself and you have no idea how much this helped me, i am so thankful you post these videos criticizing and guiding us
Thank you.
Roasting enfp’s 101🤣
Yeah.. from knowing a couple of them personally, ENFP are kinda gross and kinda great.
They think believing they are a great is enough for them to be great people. INFJs are kind of what ENFP would like to be ?
We need isfj social engineering also thank you for the valuable work 👏🏻👍🏻👍🏻
Yeah
Be kind with them, appreciate their work and their generousness, be lOyAl to them thats all. Bye
Infj's after this are like: enfp ? My golden pair ?? Sure....-.- xddddd
trust me, it will be worth it.
Isnt C.S. an enfp?
ENFP with INFJ 22 years happy and strong. I completely agree.
@@samwinchester61 ENTP
It’s taken years to stop over valuing importance of others and get totally manipulated. Years of speaking up, learning to verify info, and helping others has been my mission. My relationships have been the most challenging as an INFJ. I tend to lose some of my identity at times and let others control me. You have to counter the inner critic constantly to avoid that behavior. It’s difficult. You are right. My support system gives me no mercy and tells me the truth which has helped so much. You have to just jump into action and not think too much or you get stuck in the inner critic world. Yes when I am in my purpose, I am so much happier. I don’t feel worthless as much as I used to be. I focus on self growth daily and helping others to stay on track. Yes we are abstract. Yes when I am in the truth, I can make things happen. Yes, suicidal thoughts can arise if you don’t battle the inner critic. Some people fight me when I try to improve fellow man. Irritating. Lol. What an epic statement, “You don’t have to believe in yourself.” Just do it. Rise up. Yes!! You remind me of one of my mentors in my 20’s. He was hard core. Even though I have severe seizures and have multi health issues, I push on as well. Your son is inspiring. I used to idealize dirt bags haha. I love how you describe the INFJ. Luckily, I have grown a thicker skin. It takes hard work. Thank you for your input. :).
If I'm understanding this lecture correctly, INFJ integrity is devotion to truth, whereas their corruption is devotion to perception? For example, a truth-orientated INFJ seeking to be good at poetry will actually try to be good at it. On the other hand, a perception-orientated INFJ will simply write what brings the best criticism, learning more so to deceive than anything else?
very well said
That was intelligent as fuck🖒
Wow, Andrea, I feel like you've just described my life.
you dont have to do this to me, Andreas
Wow! That was articulated very well.
So true about ENTPs bringing truth to INFJs and keeping them real! My former partner was an ENTP and he brazenly challenged all my beliefs (especially in “ credentialed” folks, one of your big complaints about INJFs) He was harsh and abrasive, but true about a lot of things. I definitely learned a lot from him and he’s the one who made my skin thick enough to face hard truths and not shy away when I have ground to stand. You ENTPs really are teachers for us! (BTW we have a child, so we still have to deal with each other, but after watching a lot of your videos, I understand him a lot more and the process has been a lot easier than it would have otherwise, so thanks for all the info you share!!)
here's the slap in the face I needed so badly
I found this video while researching my type, and... It's the most gut-wrenching look at myself I've ever seen. You've literally hit on all of my weaknesses. My Fi critic causing me endless self-hatred and self-doubt, which in turn causes me to crave validation and recognition. It's caused me to be so weak to manipulative losers that almost ruined my relationship with an amazing person. And I struggled so much to cut out those losers even though I almost destroyed everything good I had because of them. I really did have tears in my eyes because of your conviction and your truth.
I think of all the MBTI information I've gathered, this is what I most need to apply in my life. It's a wake up call. It's the sword of truth pointing back at us, as we would tend to do to someone to try to improve them. You actually kind of mirror an INFJ with this tactic. If I give harsh truths with the intent of bettering someone, I'll point out what they're capable of at their best as well, and what not improving can do to their lives.
Thank you for this. Thank you for reminding me I need to live in integrity and truth and not dwell so much in feelings and needing validation. Living life outside of my integrity is what has caused me the most pain. Luckily, it's not too late for me to change.
Being able to trust if someone has ulterior motives or not is still difficult for me to do.
You are most welcome
Holy crap camera quality is on fire 🔥🔥. Finally investing in them! Keep up the good work
This addressed my every flaw and problem in my life with some tough love. Thank you. 😂
Can I just say: thanks for keeping it real! Someone has to do it and I have respect for you because you call us out on what we’re doing wrong/not doing right. I love how you dissect us INFJs (btw your passion is amazing!) and rip us apart and motivate us at the same exact time. While I couldn’t figure out how to feel, everything that you said is true and I relished in it. If you want to live by the truth then you have to be willing to get hurt.
Chase I’m sorry you went through so much crap but I’m so thankful you didn’t allow any of that to corrupt you, and instead it refined you so you are able to guide others to do positive things with this knowledge. I will now watch Good Will Hunting.
I’m not sorry, I am thankful for my pain
Like many others have stated this is invaluable information for a developing INFJ. So many of these attitudes are developed in our youth. Trauma seems to be a theme; Optimism becomes a coping/survival mechanism. *Our Life* becomes very different from the *standard* that we know we could excel in. The *loyalty* you speak to is so important! I don't want to make this too long but we can discuss in private because (stereotypically I want to support your vision). Again, young INFJs really don’t understand how dismal these situations can get. Thanks, Chase🙏🏾
Good = helping and loving others
Evil = harming others
-An INFJ
My cheeks are burning, my eyes are watering, man i NEEDED this....thankyou, thankyou, thankyou💕
you are most welcome
Bethany Bouley that’s really sweet:)
Me too 😭
This is quite powerful. Thank you. "Now the time has come. TIME. There's no place to run." " How can we dance while our earth is turning. How can we sleep while our beds are burning." No worries- All forward.
Holy f you’ve got me fired up in tears and laughing at the same time
Omg exactly what I'm going through watching this rn
Amen!
Yes
Shook me up lots.
There's something so raw and haunting about this video. A wake up call dressed in chills. Thank you, needed to hear it.
you should post a biographical video so we can get to know your full story
Some of your words, to me, felt so powerful and "hit home" so hard that I actually started to tear up. Thank you for your honesty and for sharing your wisdom.
Sinek is an INFJ? Damn, his ESTP subconscious is well developed then.
yes it is
It costed Sinek a minimum of $10,000 to develop his ESTP subconscious way back then. 😱😂😆
@@l.ferrer7923 huh?
“The Dark Lord will attempt to ego hack your mind, and you must be prepared to defend yourself.”
Wow, this hit hard. Thank you for you efforts in producing this video. Your message was well received on this side and much appreciated. I will definitely rewatch this more than once.
Wherever you are, I hope you are doing well~
:)
I appreciate the time you take to go so in-depth in your lectures. Ti child is taking it all in, and extremely happy with all the information :)
you are most welcome
As an INFJ, my failure to launch came from being enmired up to my eyeballs in a false narrative of victimhood. In my mid to late 20s I had a wakeup call and decided to take full responsibility for my life, and now my life has transformed monumentally and I now live a life that can actually be an inspiration to others. I feel so much fulfillment from it
I've recently imploded on myself from intense feelings of worthlessness. I convinced myself that I was worthless and I deserved everything bad to happen to me. I stopped trying, failed out of nursing school, and almost caused several breakups between me and my INTJ boyfriend. The amount of depression and self-sabotage made me lose sight of any future because 'nothing mattered'. My INTJ boyfriend had no idea what my feelings were (I kept them inside), he assumed I was 'lazy', and only mentioned my failures. No praises. When I finally explained I was extremely depressed in nursing school, he said "depression is an excuse and I was just lazy". I'm currently out of my complete feelings of worthlessness. I'm trying to understand why I think the way I do, why I felt so worthless, and what patterns of unhealthy thinking led me to that point. Your videos have helped me realize unhealthy patterns of behavior and I am trying to be more conscious of them. You seem very frustrated towards INFJs. I know a lot of INFJs are feeling attacked by the aggressive delivery of your advice, but I know it's from a good place in your heart. I appreciate your videos.
those arent INFJs but confused INFPs who get incorrect info from Frank James. Otherwise, you are most welcome
C.S. Joseph Who are confused INFPs? The ones feeling attacked? I love Frank James! His 16 personalities comedy sketches are always entertaining. I didn’t know he was giving out incorrect info. 🧐
thank you for not treating INFJs with kid gloves, it is profoundly refreshing to hear some truth about myself
It’s tough to distinguish between truth and lie, when we tend to give everyone the benefit of the doubt. Furthermore, truth to one person may be a lie to the other, depending on their own belief. Situation changes, truth changes too. But I totally agree with u, we should continuously seek the truth and view the same issue from multiple perspectives. But we should also leave room for uncertainties and accepting that we may not fully understand the other person as we are not them. Thanks for the video 🙏
Excellent video, Chase. I was able to pass along some really interesting stuff to my INFJ brother. He is stuck in an INFJ rut and I've been trying to get him into type for a long time to try and kickstart him, and make him realize how many of the typical weaknesses of INFJs he is exhibiting on a daily basis. Thank you!
"Get the losers out of your life because if you don't you are going to keep mirroring them"
This one hit home, hard. The good news is that nowadays I am not in "saving everyone" mode anymore. I have come to understand the importance of surrounding myself with the right people, even if that means that sometimes there will be no one by my side. Sometimes you just have to burn all your social relationships to the ground to build yourself a new, worthy life.
I stopped pouring myself into one-sided relationships, left the spae to see if others would come to me not only to take but also to give, and most of them didn't. The moment I started defining my standards and setting my boundaries, a lot of people just disappeared. Some of them even lashed out. I felt so light like I never have before. Of course, it wasn't easy to be alone, to lose them, but I realized that I never had them in the first place: they had me instead. It was a one-way street, one that was draining me.
I also want to say that all the unhealthy traits you described are an exact portrait of who I was from my teenage years to my late twenties. I found a mentor, a great one, who I believe was an unhealthy INFJ. He taught me well, though. Paradoxically, he gave me the tools to recognize his manipulation and find a way out. I saw what fear of abandonment and a sense of worthlessness can do to a person, and I could see myself becoming somehow like him if I am not careful. I know I have the potential to go down that path and I do not want to. I will not.
Thank you for your video. I know I will watch it many times in the future, there is so much substance to absorb, but the best part is that I identify myself much more with the healthy INFJ, the strong one, the one who sets boundaries, is aware of their flaws and pays attention not to be manipulated by others. Especially that part that is always hungry for external approval and acceptance.
In short, I am closer to becoming the INFJ who has learned to guard their heart and soul while still helping others.
Thank you, once again ♥
I feel very attacked right now, lol. I'm working on myself and this is really helpful so thank you from the bottom of my heart - I will be better.
I run a hub for INFJs and i came to watch this to figure how to 'manage' a particularly unmotivated member. Here's my thoughts about this video:
1. CS Joseph gets it right in terms of understanding the necessity and 'purpose' of INFJs in the world. They are here to make the world a better place, in whatever way they choose to interpret and channel that
2. He underestimates INFJs intelligence and their susceptibility to getting taken in by slick salesmen/women. Nah.... They look upon the world more with eyes of skepticism (one polite eyebrow raised) than eyes of gullibility. ISFJ, INFP, ESFJ, ESFJ, even ISTJ are more bound to get taken in by snake oil schemes than INFJs. This is mostly because INFJs are not motivated by material matters but live for 'eternal' (aka abstract and idealistic) values.
3. This video is not so much about being gloomy, dark or depressive about the INFJ condition but more of a tough love wake up call, which may be useful for an INFJ going through a 'dark night of the soul'
4. I do not agree with some of the typings he has arrived at, Gary Vaynerchuk for instance screams ESTP to me
5. As an INFJ, i am in no way drawn to ENFPs for romantic relationships, they lack the stability that i constantly seek
6. The INFJ neediness is mostly seen in younger INFJs. With time, they get beyond that and seek relationships that are functional, useful, and in tune with their overall 'purpose'
7. The need for INFJs to establish standards and boundaries is real and on point
8. Criticizing people, as suggested with the 'sword of fire' analogy is not an effective mode of influencing people for an INFJ. It leaves them wracked with guilt, feeling terrible about themselves, and causes disconnection with the other party. Harmony is necessary if they are to remain connected with others. INFJs influence better by affirming and motivating. Affirming, encouraging and motivating allows them to remain centered and serene and in their power, and enables a harmonious and effective outcome. A disclaimer must be made here however. This strategy will not work with everyone and for that reason, the INFJ must be very selective about the people they let into their circle and choose to work with. They must not agree to get chosen by others, they are the ones that must do the choosing. It is not by accident that Jesus is notable for having chosen the 12 disciples to work with him. Much as he loved all people, he did not allow all and sundry into his space. Yes, there is the wee fact that one of these disciples ended up betraying him to the authorities and causing his eventual death, but, that is a story for a whole other day
9. ENFPs are not the force for evil for the INFJ as they are made out to be here. They will love and understand the INFJ when no one else will, something that gives a lot of solace to the INFJ at their loneliest and darkest times. ENFPs make great therapists for INFJs because despite their seeming flightiness, they are deep, soulful and non-judgemental
Great comment, I agree!
What's the hub? Based on your comment I may very well benefit. Thanks in advance.
My best friend is an ENFP, she pulls me out of the Ni-Ti loop with her spontaneity. I absolutely love healthy ENFP’s. I don’t mind her flightiness with concrete plans, because emotionally and spiritually she is always there for me (she’s also always physically there for me if I need her). I agree though that I couldn’t see it working in a romantic relationship. I think maybe INFJ male/ENFP female combo would work but less so the other way around.
Also, I think immature INFJ’s CAN be drawn to sociopaths if the sociopaths/narcissists are intelligent and can have intelligent conversations. I think the sociopath would recognize early on what they are dealing with and really be an expert at hiding themselves for a while. This happened to me but after the second manipulation attempt I door slammed the sociopath. It was still a mind fuck for me that I didn’t detect it sooner. I could quickly see he came from a lot of trauma though.
Wow! I appreciate your cut-throat style of addressing infj's. Key statements you made about infj's being useless unless in action is so on base. Good pep talk! You motivated me for sure! Thx pal!
You blew my mind Chase; this is the best video I have ever seen on INFJ advice…I have been following your channel for a few years, but now it’s all becoming clearer and I am starting to understand. I recently watched Clay Arnall’s channel…he claims to be an INFJ, but clearly is not…also he has many INFJ’s who watch him. At first I took him at his word that he was an INFJ, but I couldn’t find a single thing in his videos to verify that and I couldn’t understand why, other INFJ didn’t seem to notice or care…I was appalled and stopped watching his channel…But I can see your point why, INFJ can be the most useless of all MBTI types…I prefer to be a strong INFJ 💪 and not useless..
C.S. Joseph :"there's no such thing as good and evil"
also C.S. Joseph: *holding the elder wand*
There actually is good and evil. Knowing the difference is the confidence key!
The good thing is that I always verify. Because it would be stupid not to, people lie.
You also have to understand some Infj do not want to bear all that responsibility. Some of them just want to live simply. But, I see your point and passion through your anger. It is what it is.
That is true
That's true, but for those who don't feel like they're worth being alive if they don't have a purpose it is a great thing to follow.
I gotta say, the stuff you say hits me in waves, I listen to it, not only to learn, but also it reaffirms my emotional state, I know I'm doing not good things when I come back to what you say, thank you for not actually talking about how to manipulate INFJ's, rather how the manipulation of INFJ's is so bad, that we have to fight back, because we're already aware that we get manipulated, we just accept it way too often, I do often imagine that I have a holy sword strapped to my back, and I have to use it to fix the hidden underlying evils in the world, while refraining from using it in case I'm on the wrong path
I literally cried after you calling me worthless and encourage me to live my purpose. Recently I think I settled a bit and a smack in the head is what I need. I love ENTP so much for their brutal honesty. 😭❤ Thank you CSJ!
I am going through a tough time now in life and it feels difficult to pick myself up. I don't know why just the thought that I would want to add value to others , help the underprivileged in India , support a cause creates fire in my heart and makes me pick myself up. I realised this thing that I am more driven by others needs. I don't know why I am like this.
I’m an ENTP looking to socially engineer the INFJs in my life. Thank you Chase
My brother is INFJ 28yo and he actually is really good at investing(cryptocurrency), he went from like about 1k euro to 30k in few years(If I remember correctly),
and I see that, most of the things u say that INFJ have to improve he already did it,
and you are definetly right, he is now really so much practical , he also thinks to start a buisness.
Im INFP 18 yo, and most of the life i spent with him and I saw how he improved my Ti Demon and Ni Critic, because he managed to learn them in a very good way, Im proud of him,
And improved my Te inferior to not always believe what other people say, but rather to do a deep research and see if they are telling the truth or not, and he taught me actually, if u don't want to lose your reputation just "fake" that u agree what other people say, but after that make research about it and keep the truth to yourself, because u cant change people definitely those who really hard believe in what they believe is true even if isn't.
Thanks for those videos Joseph! :) they help a lot.
I wish I had a dad like you, Thank you for being such a wonderful dad. I am so glad your son made it through and I hope to see him full of grace and love in the future! I agree, I self taught and my field I know more than almost all of the people I work with! What??? I hate teams, I work alone or not at all! Personal standards - this is based on how you are raised. I was raised to be very strong and have always had extremely high personal standards.
We can't do a lot as INFJs because most people don't listen to us! I do have a dead end job as a window cleaner, but I am writing a book. I love your tough love! I can relate to it. We DO need it. Sorry for multiple posts!
Listening to this has really helped me realize how fortunate I was to have terrific mentors in the workplace. They showed me through their support what was possible in ways I never knew were possible. Only just now have a come to realize that the assignments they gave me and the support they showed me helped create a more evolved INFJ by bringing out the ESTP in me through the years. I didn’t know it at the time but watching your video now has helped me understand.
dope