Couples Talk: How to Build Emotional Intimacy in Your Relationship- Tips from a Marriage Therapist
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 19 เม.ย. 2020
- What's Anya Mind, lovers?
One thing that I constantly get asked is, "How can I make my relationship better?" Once we dig more into it, it boils down to closeness and connection. In today's video, I share my tips on how to create emotional intimacy with your partner! This video is geared toward my viewer. Let's see how your small changes can impact your relationship. Comment down below if you've ever experienced issues with any of these aspects of emotional intimacy.
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The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman: "There are five love languages: Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service, Receiving Gifts, Quality Time, and Physical Touch. Each one is important and expresses love in its own way. Learning your partner's and your own primary love language will help create a stronger bond in your relationship." DISCLAIMER: While I have read the book, I advocate for the basic concept of love languages and do not necessarily agree with all perspectives shared in the book.
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14:28 for anyone who is going back to do the check in quiz
Cheers for the video content! Sorry for the intrusion, I am interested in your initial thoughts. Have you considered - Millawdon Varied Nights Trick (just google it)? It is an awesome one off product for learning intimate questions to make your relationship stronger without the hard work. Ive heard some incredible things about it and my BF at very last got excellent success with it.
Kudos for the Video! Forgive me for the intrusion, I would appreciate your opinion. Have you ever tried - Millawdon Varied Nights Trick (Have a quick look on google cant remember the place now)? It is a smashing one of a kind guide for learning intimate questions to make your relationship stronger without the normal expense. Ive heard some amazing things about it and my old buddy Taylor after many years got great results with it.
Kudos for the Video! Excuse me for the intrusion, I would love your opinion. Have you heard the talk about - Millawdon Varied Nights Trick (do a search on google)? It is a smashing one off product for learning intimate questions to make your relationship stronger without the normal expense. Ive heard some pretty good things about it and my BF after a lifetime of fighting got great results with it.
Great Video clip! Sorry for butting in, I am interested in your opinion. Have you researched - Millawdon Varied Nights Trick (google it)? It is a smashing one off guide for learning intimate questions to make your relationship stronger minus the headache. Ive heard some extraordinary things about it and my cooworker at last got great success with it.
Excellent Video! Apologies for the intrusion, I am interested in your opinion. Have you ever tried - Millawdon Varied Nights Trick (search on google)? It is a smashing one of a kind guide for learning intimate questions to make your relationship stronger minus the normal expense. Ive heard some awesome things about it and my BF at very last got amazing results with it.
1. Validate their opinion
2. Laugh at their jokes
3. Compliment your partner
4. Be open to receiving compliments
5. Encourage your partner
6. Challenge your partner kindly
7. Love them in their love language
8. Share your secrets and insecurities
9. Acknowledge and explore frustrations as they come up
10. Externalize problems as seperate from your partner and relationship
11. Express appreciation often
Thank you ♥️
Thank you 💕
Thank you
Thank uou
Thank you
I’m in my first relationship after growing up in a toxic household, this advice is sooo helpful and relaxing
Any advice on first relationship communication?
I am in the same exact boat now!!!Abusive childhood on top of toxic household. So I hope things are going well for you and I hope and pray things go well for me and everyone else in this stage!!
Same fr
Came from GQ. I’m aromantic so no relationships for me but I’m going to watch this Incase any of my family or friends need help and plus I like your aura...
Let me know topics that would be useful for you!
I love this! My boyfriend and I watched this together. We were able to confirm that we are on the right track for growing as a couple but also helped us in wanting to continue to be better for each other. Thank you for sharing!
I love that you watched it together! That already says so much about your relationship. Thank you for watching! ♥️
Lovely video content! Forgive me for butting in, I would appreciate your thoughts. Have you thought about - Millawdon Varied Nights Trick (just google it)? It is an awesome one off guide for learning intimate questions to make your relationship stronger minus the hard work. Ive heard some incredible things about it and my m8 got excellent results with it.
Thanks for the video content! Excuse me for the intrusion, I am interested in your thoughts. Have you heard the talk about - Millawdon Varied Nights Trick (Have a quick look on google cant remember the place now)? It is an awesome one of a kind product for learning intimate questions to make your relationship stronger without the normal expense. Ive heard some great things about it and my GF after a lifetime of fighting got amazing success with it.
Good idea !!!! I’ll get my bf and I to watch this
I hope my gf will watch this stuff with me.
Not married. Not in a relationship. But hope to be soon. This is incredibly helpful. Thank you
There is no doubt that your counseling is your God-given calling. Thank you for sharing your wisdom, knowledge and insights with us all.
Aw thank you ♥️ I truly love it
@@StephAnya I too thank you for your sharing your educated insights on the ins and outs of not only successful relationships, but the intricacies of maladaptive behaviors in progressively more dysfunctional relationships.
Yeees relationship Queen!! Just saw your "Therapist breaks down couples fighting" video on GQ and you were spot on! You go girl!!! ;)
Thanks so much!
I did too! I'm super excited I found her! This is exactly the kind of therapist I've been looking for.
Same here!! So glad I found her channel through GQ! This is exactly what I needed as an aspiring LMFT 😊
@@StephAnya link to that video please im interested in watching it
I absolutely love this and am so glad to have found you !! I’m 34 and am in my second relationship ever. The first was very toxic and ended in divorce. I want to unlearn all the bad habits I have formed and hope that we can create a beautiful healthy family together.
These are great tips especially for people who struggle to let out their emotions. I personally struggled to let people in and it affected my relationships. I'm learning to understand my emotions and also share it with others. Great video as always🥰👍
It is such a vulnerable position to be in! I’m proud of you for fighting your fears and learning more about your emotional world. Thank you for sharing! ♥️
I'm single but I did the quiz on my relationship w myself. It still works, really cool when you ask yourself those questions to how you treat you.
10. Externalize problems as separate from your partner and relationship 💯
I understand. I will definitely "speak life into my partner and into our relationship.
I will consistently challenge my partner with a soft, assuring, and compassionate voice to pursue her most cherished dreams/goals for herself.
There are 2 I will continue to improve on...Thank you for the reassurance of what things we are already operating in🙏🏽🍃🍃🌱🙌🏿🙌🏿
This has been so insightful. I really need to work on my emotional intimacy bc I thought I had it all together and turns out I need some work. Thank you for these wonderful videos.
The best part of my day is when a new Steph Anya video drops!
Mine too haha! I love making content for you all.
I really appreciate your systems approach to remedying dysfunction in relationships.
I agree with what you said about how these are good practices for relatively emotionally healthy people. Unfortunately we come to the problem too often where one partner is a narcissist or another kind of wolf in sheep’s clothing, and when the victim tries to implement these things, they backfire even worse. Many therapists seem to have the assumption that all people are decent people trying to better themselves and care about their partners, but with the narcs and other toxic people, that’s just not the case.
I hope you and other therapists are trained and educated in narcissism and to be able to point out narcs in marriage and family counseling. Too many people have bad experiences with therapists because the therapist will try to fix the marriage over the emotional health and safety of the individuals.
This was GREAT, very necessary and very on time! Success in these areas really takes a lot of humility, selflessness and changing your perspective! THANK YOU STEPH ANYA!!!
Totally agree with you. Accountability, in general, takes so much humility. Thank you so much for watching!! ♥️
Loved “I don’t see myself that way, but I appreciate that you do.” I’ve been feeling very overwhelmed with receiving the validation of my dreams in many ways.
I absolutely love this video! You make things so easy to understand. Very informative! Thank you so much for what you're doing ❤
Just want to thank you for the information you put into this video! I will be thinking more about emotional intimacy and see how it affects my relationship for the better.
Thank you so much Stephanya for all this information! just came across your channel and wanted to say that you are doing amazing job! Im fascinated listening to you! cant wait for more videos!
Thank you for this awesome video. The point about appreciating each other is such a big thing we often overlook.
God I love TH-cam. Watching these types of videos are so so so helpful and truly a blessing. Thank you for this!
this video was very informational, i had my tablet beside me the whole time taking notes. I’m going to reflect over my notes every now and then. I’m in my first serious relationship hoping to enhance our love. 💓 thannnks
Great video. I'm a Relationship Coach and these are also some of the things I talk about in my group. I appreciate the breakdowns of your tips. Keep moving forward. Much success ❤️
Lovely Video! Excuse me for chiming in, I would love your opinion. Have you ever tried - Millawdon Varied Nights Trick (just google it)? It is a great one of a kind product for learning intimate questions to make your relationship stronger without the headache. Ive heard some extraordinary things about it and my work buddy after many years got excellent success with it.
so glad i found your channel, thank you so much for what you do!
I´m so happy I found your channel, love it!! Thank you for sharing
Externalize the problem. That is deep. Thanks for sharing.
This one was so good! Thanks, sis. That was so helpful in helping me see myself, where I need improvement, and how great my partner really is!
Coming tk it as a person who is quite into various self help help type books and info, even though I was roughly aware of the concepts you present, the way you do it and the examples you give are very helpful! I am excited to try and implement this more. We have two young children and I feel like the relationship suffers. Thank you!!
This video was everything! I am not currently in a relationship but I realize that in my past relationships I had a hard time being openly emotional. I plan to use these tips in my future relationship! Thank you so much for sharing!
I’m so glad you found it useful! Being vulnerable can feel so unnatural at times, but it’s absolutely necessary for genuine connection. Thank you for watching, Rayena! ♥️
Steph, you're awesome! Thank you for sharing your gift with the world :)
Thank you for your wisdom and knowledge you give in your videos. Just stared following you and your videos are truly a blessing. My God continue to bless you and all that you do.
This is my favorite video so far. Definitly using this for my relationship. I also didn't expect to get this much information on this subject. You covered so much!!!
So glad to hear that! I tried to share as much I could without it being way too long ♥️
Nice Video clip! Apologies for chiming in, I would appreciate your initial thoughts. Have you thought about - Millawdon Varied Nights Trick (probably on Google)? It is a good one of a kind product for learning intimate questions to make your relationship stronger minus the headache. Ive heard some great things about it and my old buddy Taylor after a lifetime of fighting got cool success with it.
@@kennykenaz8340 Hi Kenny! I haven't heard of that specific product, but I absolutely love any tools that are specifically targeted at increasing intimacy by asking open and vulnerable questions. I'll check it out! Thanks for sharing.
Thank you for this amazing and jam packed with pure relationship therapy gold video. I was riveted and listened carefully to every word. Also, you are so beautiful, inspirational, and extremely pleasant to watch! I will definitely be treating myself to watching ALL of your videos. Already caught a couple tips that I just know will strengthen my relationship so much. Tons of thanks, you are a Rockstar!!
Jess in Tucson, AZ
Nice video. Thank you for what you're offering! Really important info 💕
I'd love to hear you address trust issues like you mentioned early on in this video
I'm so glad that I found your channel!❤
Thank you so much for these simple but very powerful tips.
The likes on this video is super surprising. I love the tips that are in this video and I see the things that I can do better in my relationship. This is probably the first long tip video I’ve watched in its entirety. Thankyou! :)
I’m so glad that you found it helpful! ♥️
I agree with everything you've said. Thank you!
I found this video on building emotional intimacy in relationships and it was eye-opening. The tips and insights shared are practical and applicable in real-life scenarios. This video provides great tips on how to cultivate a deep emotional connection with your partner. This is a must-watch for anyone seeking to deepen their emotional connection with their partner.
Hi steph I am watching this because I would like to have more emotional intimacy between us. He is a true sweetheart. I trust him and I support him in every way, I believe in him. And I compliment him. I care alot for him. I've known him for 2 years. I've always been by his side. I accept the ways that he shows love. I still need help to build things with him. I work on quitting smoking. It isn't easy but I'm still working on it. I see that alot with couples too. I'm more gentle and not judgemental of him because that never helps. I also let others know to be gentle on him as well . 5 for both of us.
This interests me a lot. I am on a newly relationship and want it to work out!
Thank you Queen Steph❤️
Beautiful and educative video 🥰
Thank you for the positive and good supportive advice ❤
this was great advice! you broke everything down so thoroughly and clearly
I didn't even notice that my fiance was already doing a lot of these tips. I knew that our relationship was better than any relationship I've had in the past but it's nice to know that we're taking the right steps to building a healthy loving relationship. But I do need to work on feeling more comfortable accepting compliments 😅
I just spoke with clients about this today! Great video!!!
You are wonderful! So glad I found your channel - many blessings :)
Steph, you did well presenting this. After my husband died 2 yrs ago (I am 76)....I met a widower (78). We are in a relationship! I needed this information in order to build emotional intimacy and just have some ideas how to better express myself to him. Thank you for this very good talk you shared 😊
I’m rooting for you two! I’m so glad that it helped
I randomly found your videos a day ago when I really needed it! Thank you so much!
Is it possible to make a series on long distance relationships, including communication, future planning, the importance of labeling a relationship (or not) etc?
Love this❤️ My favorite video and most relevant to building and maintaining a healthy relationship.
So glad that you love it! If you have any other requests for couples talk videos, let me know! ♥️
Hey Steph Anya! Thanks for the insightful video. Definitely going to put these tips into practice 😊
Glad it was helpful!
I absolutely loved this video ❤️
That was so helpful, thank you!
Thank you for your output you are going to go far in your career I like the way you describe things for everyone to understand what to do and how to come to your partner and explain how you feel that's totally cool.
Love this 💜 my boyfriend and I are checking these things off. Match made in heaven. New subscriber. Thanks!!!!
Glad to hear it! Such a comforting feeling to know you’re with the right person.
I've been married for 4 years now and I have Asperger's and I was a bit frustrated because we had gone a few weeks without sex and more and more she would push it off till the weekend and when the weekend comes, she says she is not in the mood. She finally told me, "I really love you, but I don't feel emotionally connected to you and I can't get myself to want to have sex." I had no idea and to be honest, I don't even know what it means to feel emotionally connected because there are a lot of emotions I don't feel. As a result, I am currently in the process of learning how to make her feel validated and emotionally connected - I'm definitely going to take these tips and use them; and to be honest, they really do make sense and it makes sense as to why she isn't feeling connected. She knows that I have Asperger's and knows that I lack some of the same things as her brain, but if at the very least I can make her feel happy, validated, and connected to me - I'm willing to put in the effort so she feels loved again!
Be careful. It may just be another excuse. Good luck
@@katiejane6761 I'm happy to report it wasn't just an excuse. Things have gotten much better since I posted and we are nearly back to the way it was in the beginning. It took work on both our parts but it was well worth it. :)
@@john-paulmathieu7195 beautiful praise report, God Bless your marriage
Amazing
I need to work on #6 because I'm very grounded and realistic, which can come across as harsh, but I do allow for dreams especially when backed with a plan and clear steps to achieve.
Thanks for the posting these has definitely help my relationship
that is wonderful! Make me think! Thanks a lot!
I’m currently in a relationship and may need to increase intimacy but I feel as though we do all these things and also have a very healthy foundation… can you do a part 2 on this! 🥰
Very gentle and smart approach 💯💯💯
Also, love them in their language.💯🔥
New subscriber! I throughly enjoyed this video! Thanks for sharing.
Wonderful guidance🙏🥰
the way you talk makes my heart warm and fills me with confident energy 😭♥️
🥺 that may be the nicest thing I’ve ever been told. Thank you so much ♥️
@@StephAnya aww, love youu 🥰
this made my day
@@kalki3060 Hello I recommend you to Dr James he helped me reconnected back my broken relationship and made my home secured from third parties within 2 days I advice you seek help from him..
@@kalki3060 Send him a message on Whatsapp
This is great advice, i neeeeeeeeeeded this I appreciate it
Tip 4 is just perfect for me👍 I didn't even know it was affecting me.
I’m glad this helped! ♥️ Let me know any other topics that would be useful.
Cheers for the Video clip! Sorry for butting in, I would love your initial thoughts. Have you considered - Millawdon Varied Nights Trick (google it)? It is a great exclusive guide for learning intimate questions to make your relationship stronger minus the hard work. Ive heard some amazing things about it and my mate at very last got great success with it.
Great video, timeless info.
Thank you!!! I love your vids. I’m currently in grad school for clinical mental health counseling - so exciting to watch your channel!
Thank you ❤
I like your energy, and I think you could help my relationship
These are great! Thanks 😊
Thank you!
Wow, I have much to improve on. Thank you.
Good for you,Thanks.
Loved the video. Very informative and helpful!
Thank you for watching! ♥️
You are great at your job. Thank you for your service
@Grace sounds like divination, the only one who needs to help me manifest anything doesn’t have a phone number. I just speak and he hears me, his name is God, the one and only sovereign king.
Thank you mam for this advises.
It do really help me a lot ❤
Thank you so much ☺️
Thank you for a great video. This will help me a lot. I am trying to make my relationship. Turn into marriage. I will use this video as a guide.
thank you for this, it made me realise how i wasnt showing up for my partner
Thanks Steph.
We should understand that the dream we all have isn't necessarily what we would be happy doing. But if you are paying true attention to them but give them goals instead of incentives
Love this.
“I love you because…”🔥🔥🔥🔥
You have such a beautiful, happy and cheerful smile. I wish We could hire you as our couples therapist here in Maryland.
thank you so much!
Thank you 🖤🖤🖤🖤
Love you 😘 Thank you for this 😊
Great points
Thank you…Great Video Beautiful!!!🥰🙏🏽💯
Me and my fiancée have very compatable love languages we both have touch as one and as a second mine is giving gifts and hers is receiving gifts
subscribed immediately for the "What's Anya Mind"
Loved the video!
I appreciate you and sharing your tips. Thank you
Thank you for watching ♥️
discovered you on gq and i immediately subscribed
Same!! As a black woman I live for her!!
Love your channel! I'd be really interested to hear your thoughts or recommendations for people with past trauma navigating relationships. It's a subject that I think is often treated very individually, despite potentially impacting relationships quite a bit, so I think your perspective as a therapist who focuses on families would be interesting!
Did you receive an answer to your query about help when dealing with people in relationship with past trauma?
My suggestion, for what it's worth is to delve into books on the different attachment styles that people adopt as a result of their upbringing-- which may or may not include trauma.
Hope this helps.
Completely agree with the attachment style comment. It was the biggest help for me…and I’d been to many therapists, had self help books and such. Finding my attachment style, the core wounds, how to heal, has been life changing.
Due to various trauma, I have fearful avoidant attachment style, leaning dismissive avoidant.
It’s like the sky parted and handed down some answers.
Hope this helps!
@@Alphacentauri819 your reply much appreciated.
I would like to suggest that you look up or check out videos by a lady named Tiffany Buckner. She has a lot of videos that are helpful in dealing with overcoming trauma . God bless you.