I would think that what we call "depresion" is state where you start to recognize "distortion of reality" that already exists. People with "depression" start to recognize "doable tolk" and discover double meaning of many things around them.
JustChizzin I get you and I understand you. I have suffered from severe depression and anxiety all my life. Early childhood molestation and an eventual rape as a young adult (by two different people, both relatives) helped nothing. I have been on a cocktail of different meds since age 26 and I am still on them 16 years and three kids later. The thing with depression is you fully understand why it is (fundamentally brain chemistry exacerbated by early trauma) and you know how you ought to be, yet you cannot get there. Folks who say “cheer up” or “don’t be anxious” help no one. In fact, those cliche responses only serve to aggravate the sufferer, as they either feel guilty for being the way they are or they feel patronized by folks who don’t know what the hell they are talking about. When I am deep in the depression (ebbs and flows like anything) all of life seems ludicrous. Pointless. It’s not that the sufferers feels “superior” to the folks they are witnessing day to day, but, at least in my case, a lot of envy is involved. How I wish I could take pleasure in a sunset or going for ice cream or whatever. What pisses me off are folks that think mental illness is a “choice.” Just, no. When people tell me that, I just walk away. I must protect my own health if I am to remain on this mortal coil, you know?
I’m a qualified psychiatric nurse. Many years ago, while working as a nurse I became so depressed I needed inpatient treatment. The most frightening thing was when I thought that if I killed myself my parents could say to my son I got run over. The main thing that halted that thought process was I still had some insight and I k ew what the consequences would be for my son if he was to lose his mother this way Depression is so hard for those who haven’t experienced it to understand
I'm so grateful you d got out of that deep black pit. The consequences for families are devastating and kids of parents who suicide are at high risk of taking the same path. How did you get out of the depression?
@@cheothegeo2742 no, there is no mental illness thats better or worse than another, it's unfair to those suffering with them and how devastating it can be is on a case by case basis
The roots are always in the childhood. He was thrown away by his parents and no surprise he hated humanity by the time he was 7. He suffered and wanted love and attention and he turned to drugs at an early age. This led to heroin addiction and depression later. I feel sorry for him because he was a sensitive, very talented guy.
@@IGlowIFlow Yes, very true. People are different, some are get over it more easily while some other suffer deeply. Kurt was sensitive and he suffered a lot. Really sad.
This would also explain why he was so mediocre with the guitar and never really cared about his solos, even though he was even really talented for making solos...
Nah my guy, it’s more than just childhood. Depression is a brain disease that people are born with. It’s a chemical imbalance. You just hear about it more with people with depression because they focus on it more. People who don’t have depression you never hear about this shit, because they don’t focus on it. This is also why people with depression use drugs. It’s the worst fucking disease it just torments you for years and years.
As a person who lives with Major Depression I thought your analysis of Kurt Cobain was very insightful. Cobain wrote a song, "I hate myself and want to die". That captures the disease perfectly. The disease attacks your sense of self. It is relentless.
We hear time and again people commenting “he had everything, he had money, a good life, fame, yet he killed himself”. But you are right Dr Grande, deep depression warps a persons perspective of life. I have a friend who suffers from depression, it is a constant struggle for her to remain upright. I am going to hug her extra hard today. Thank you for this video...
It’s always what people say when successful people take their life.. sadly it doesn’t work that way and all those things won’t make anybody resistent to deep depression.
Depression is horrific as is anxiety, I suffer from it daily and am treatment resistant. Also he reported stomach pain before he used substance I imagine when it wore off it made it way worse and made the depression way worse which becomes a vicious cycle. Depression and fear is a vicious cycle plus his wife was a real piece of work.
I'm within a few years of Cobain's age, so I had a lot of friends who were similarly devastated by their parents divorce. There weren't manuals of best guidance for how to split, how to share custody, how to co-parent children at that time. Basically one day the parents would tell you that they were getting a divorce. One party moved out right away. Formerly stay at home moms were suddenly working full time, creating the "latch key" kids, usually with a lower standard of living. Vicious custody battles were not uncommon, and courts didn't think to protect kids, they often put them in the middle asking them who they wanted to live with, etc. It was harder for those children than it should have been because divorce hadn't been as widespread before. Most grandparents disapproved of their children divorcing, and would often tell their grandchildren that they should have stayed together "for the kids", i.e. you. Your school friends treated you like the worst imaginable thing in the world just happened to you. It terrified children and yes, had a lasting and deep impression on Gen X kids who went through it in the 70s.
You are so right. Divorce can be very traumatic for children, for some more than others. But back in that generation, it was kind of a new thing to have such high divorce rates.
Yes we have some better programs now but it’s still very hard for children of divorce. It literally tears families apart. It is confusing for children who are now expected to cope with the fact that mom and dad split but now live with new partners or have replacements for mom or dad. Or they are married into new families with new siblings and little children are expected to adapt to the environment and pretend like it’s okay; but also normal. Divorce is harder on children then on parents. The parents make a natural choice to have a sexual relationship with someone, but they children cannot divorce a father or mother; nor can they replace them. Except surrogates
i have exactly the opposite experience....my parents stayed together and i was always proud of them and felt fortunate cos they stuck it out... but i was wrong....i didnt begin to understand WHY till i began to study psychology. My Mom was a covert narc and my Dad was in the Navy overseas 6 months out of every year. and even though TWO psychiatrists told me to 'pretend she was DEAD' and go no contact, i couldnt....and i suffered tremendously all my life for it....even up to 60 years old. I dont trust the court system, i believe THEY cause as many problems as they claim to solve,but i know we DO have a better understanding of the issues these days. I cant really say if id been better off any other way, except that maybe if id went to college and studied psychology, ( which was my only possible interest in higher education )...but i wasnt financially able. Thank goodness for TH-cam and my own curiosity.
Wonderful explanation! I'm shocked that Dr. Grande doesn't know that broken homes and/or single mothers always have been and still are one of the top three causes of poverty and crime. Coming from a broken home usually always messes a kid up good. Divorce definitely wasn't just hard on kids in the 1970's, even though it became more common later When I was 15 in 1994, I thought my parents were get divorced that year, and it was still one of the worst things that could possibly happen to you as a kid. I didn't know anybody whose parents were divorced either. Divorce definitely was and is not normal amongst a better class of people with values. It mostly still something that only degenerates do. It's simply more common because Western Civilization and Western values are in rapid decline.
I agree, divorce can be extremely traumatic for children. One of my classmates tragically took his own life at age 10 or 11 at least in part due to being unable to cope with his parents divorce. The poor kid had been crying in class almost daily since the divorce happened and he just wasn't himself anymore. (This must have been around the year 1997)
I agree. I recommend watching Dr, Gabor Mate videos if you haven't seen them already. He's got a great understanding of the relationship between drug addiction and early childhood trauma and or neglect or abuse.
I struggle with severe anxiety and depression. I grew up with pretty much the exact same issues as Kurt did. Alot in common, it's almost scary...Everyday is a struggle... But his music honestly saved my life...
Being a working musician, playing 6 nights a week and traveling on the 7th for years, you can get burned out on the thing you loved and that motivated you for your whole life. Losing that is incredibly depressing. I even stopped listening to music for years.
I appreciate the mental health and personality analyses of famous people and killers and stuff, but I think my absolute favorite of your videos are the case studies about various different disorders. So interesting.
Personality disorders are more interesting for me too. I am shocked by the abnormal pyschology topics we covered in college & it was just sick!! I didnt get to finish the class so it would be interesting to learn about weirdos that like being defecated on or puked on. Dr. Grande, why?? Why does that happen to ppl??
I agree, I found Dr. Grande's channel recently and I have come across some older videos like case studies or general analysis of various disorders and I appreciate those..
Wow! This was the only compassionate analysis I have ever come across regarding the suicide of Kurt Cobain and the depression he suffered. I think you are spot on and explain it well. He wasn't some druggy that just did himself in. He suffered severe mental health issues which lead to him ending his pain. So sad. Thank you Dr. Grande for another thorough analysis!
I agree. He wasn't a "druggy" who "just did himself in." The evidence strongly points towards murder and not suicide. I'm currently researching this...interesting. 🤔
@@kyliejones8827 what's the source of your research? conspiracy theory websites and TH-cam videos? there's not a shred of physical evidence for any murder
Depression alone is a haunting phantom. Add drugs to the mix and there is nothing left but a deep pit. Thanks for doing this one, Dr.. It's so sad that he is dead
That's the problem with our current society. Everyone tries to fit in instead of freely thinking. Juvenile emotional reactions are best left in the cave man era but our country runs on them.
I haven't watched yet but I'm calling it now: Somewhat high in openness to experience, somewhat low in conscientiousness, low in extraversion, somewhat high in agreeableness, and high in neuroticism.
@@gonzojr.8648 I readily memorized the various factors of personality, but I've actually looked into several different models of personality which use different acronyms, so the OCEAN acronym takes me a while sometimes. Researchers had independently converged on the idea of these five broad categories to personality. There are some models with six factors, too, but most seem to agree on these five. Despite it being the most empirical model we have, I do actually feel somewhat ambivalent about it. There are subcategories to the five traits to explain this, but… how many people do you know who are highly intellectual and curious about math and science, yet don't value the arts and humanities, but not vice versa? Those are both measured by Openness - yet, are they really the same thing? That there are subcategories to account for this doesn't fully satisfy me.
@@booradley0x0 I posted ASAP without even thinking much. Kurt was just the perfect embodiment of the anguished musician that it's hard to imagine him not scoring that way; it's just a matter of pegging the granular position along the continuum.
Aw, Kurt. I think anyone who has suffered from depression can really relate to some of the things he said in his note. Like when he said he is too sensitive, that really resonates. It’s difficult when things happen that other people can just brush off but you can’t. I didn’t really know other people felt like that too.
He reminds me so much of my best friend who ended his life three years ago... We used to listen to Nirvana a lot together but I had no idea he was suicidal. It was so devastating, he was 28, just a year older than Kurt.
Most people that are truly suicidal don't mention the idea to anyone and when they are going to attempt suicide they plan it out in ways as to not be interrupted or interfered with. They have a plan in mind with a clear strategy to succeed. Most will seem happy right before this and speak in paste tense. This is when they ultimately made thier decision to set thier plan in motion in the near future. When someone is depressed and seeking help they often mention suicide because it is a cry for help. These type of people are looking for an alternative to suicide and leave suicide as a last resort. 💔
@@goldshieldinthedark That is a myth. Some people talk about suicide and still kill themselves. Edit: Well, you did say that suicide is a last resort. Some people think people will never do it if they talk about it but that is not true. It could happen.
I'm sorry about your loss, I also had a friend who committed suicide in 2016 when she was 25. I met her in high school and she was both weird and cool and did drugs and struggled with depression at times but I never imagined that she would actually end up killing herself.
Hi doctor, i suffer from major depression and just wanted to say that hearing your thoughts on the detriment of depression is very strangely comforting. Its nice to hear someone who i know is competent and well versed in a subject matter like depression give a well rounded explanation of depression that shows they understand the insufferable feeling of disordered depression without, presumably, feeling it themselves. I'm not sure why but it makes me feel a little less crazy in this crazy world hahaha. I really enjoyed this video. thank you.
You need to understand that it is a humane thing. We are stuck in this society and there is no one standing up to resolve this prison. Depression makes you feel very alone and constantly dealing with all these thoughts makes you soooo tired! So yes, it is so difficult to move on. I hope you are still alive, my friend!
I have a friend who was in the Army, stationed in Washington state. There was a bar just outside the gates that he used to go to. He would go in and listen to a band, they were the loudest band he ever heard. He really liked the singer, the band was Nirvana.
I want to thank you for your compassionate discussion of depression. I have suffered all my life and never has anyone spoken with so much empathy. You also brought up some points about KC that I had never read about or seen discussed and those points from his childhood go a long way to explaining some things about him. Yes friends out there don't buy a gun for a friend who shows signs of depression...tell them you are a felon if you have to just do not do it!!!!!
Watching this video and seeing the different images of Cobain make me realise just how unhappy he really was. Nirvana were a little before my time. I know next to nothing about him, but he has such dead eyes in absolutely every picture. What a tragic loss.
Robert Boyle - I may be wrong, but I think that with depression the person loses all the desires, even the desire for joy and success. The inability to feel pleasure or anhedonia that many times accompanies depression is excruciating too, part of being a human being is being able to experience these emotions. Depression is a very serious condition and unfortunately so many people suffer from this disease. Sad.
As someone with chronic pain, I have always blamed the lack of care from doctors. He lived with this pain untreated and tried to medicate. Not sure if it would have turned out differently, but it was a contributing factor.
2 things. I think he felt hopeless that his marriage was failing and divorce was imminent. With Kurt he really wanted to have that one person he could count on. He thought it was Courtney and when he found out she was not it, he felt super defeated. That and I really think he wanted to quit and be away from public life for a bit but was constantly pressured by others due to money. Also I think he battled internal conflict with leaving fame and being forgotten. I think he was severely conflicted by fame, wanting and hating it. That added with addiction and depression, he just felt like ending the whole book instead of seeing it as a chapter and just closing the chapter and starting a new one. I don’t think he had the energy tbh with his physical ailments and mental ones to start over. I miss Kurt a lot. I grew up with him. I thought he was a genius.
I was 14 when he passed. I was in Paris on a school trip initially having the time of my life, the sheer dreamlike excitement of being out of my homeland (Ireland) for the first time. I remember later on the Friday April 8th, with my circle of friends trying to process what we just heard, and why it happened. At 14, it was impossible to digest and analyse things. I agree with the "Conflict" you mention.👍 Here was a man who, loved/hated the aspects of fame. His conflict of a possible divorce with Courtney in horrid league with the lifelong Blight on his mind via his own parents separation. He must have felt that he was reliving it again via Frances getting parental partition should he and Courtney even split. Imposter Syndrome, Self Sabotage kicking in regarding feeling "not deserving" acclaim and admiration, leading and lending more guilt. It especially hurts when we know who else was thinking of him, looking to reach out to him. Michael Stipe wanted to fly him to Atlanta to chill out, maybe work on music together. Imagine that: Music inthe vein of "Unplugged" and "Automatic for the People". 👍 Neil Young wanted to talk to him, tell him to just get out and away. Kurts dark hue of depression hung over him , cloaking his sight. He couldnt see that elder statepeople of music he liked wanted to work with him, talk to him. Anyway mate, just wanted to say that I liked your words.👍 Since the 30th anniversary of his passing Ive been reading comments like that, listening even more to Nirvana again. 👍
Cobain was very sensitive and fragile. He had an innocent soul. I've never heard him cheating or violate anyone. We always love him for his art and we know his value, although he himself couldn't know. God bless him.
Holy abandonment issues, Batman - I was hearing about how he got bounced between his dad, his mom and his friends, and all I could think was "This guy never knew stability, did he?" My father had something similar happen to him when he was young - there were a few years where my grandmother had serious depressive episodes and it wasn't safe for the kids to be around her, so she had to go to the hospital; this meant my dad and his younger sister had to stay with aunts and uncles, sometimes on very short notice. He's since been to therapy and understands why this was a measure for his safety, but he said the hurt stayed with him for years.
Also an excellent summary of depression. Some ppl just don't understand the depth of depression, and wonder why ppl with depression should just get over it and move on. From your summary, it's clear that this is extremely unlikely to happen without treatment and intervention :)
Thank you for these videos, especially the ones where you discuss depression. Often people who don't have depression themselves see it as attention seeking behavior and this makes it difficult for me to have a dialogue with them about it... your videos help a great deal in understanding and making sense of things so I just wanted to thank you for making them.
As a Gestalt therapist I see a lot of shame and guilt related to the anger in the Kurt's notes. The anger appeared probably in early childhood as a consequence of the familiar system situation and probably haven't been heard with empathy and acceptance - I assume the father have sent him to mental health counselor in order to "fix" his issues and symptoms as a kid, when in the reality the good step would be the family therapy joined together to understand the root cause of Kurt's anger. This could cause the depression in a long therm. These are of course just some of my ipotesis. Sorry if the English wasn't perfect. :) Thank You Dr Todd Grande for Your analysis. :)
The thought of Courtney Love staging an intervention is both scary and sobering. I know I did drugs just to feel normal. Kids, it doesn't work. It breaks my heart to think he was doing his daughter a favor by ending his life. So sad
I still remember the first time I heard a Nirvana song, in the early 90's. Before that, everything was very slick and produced, with sound effects and synths in the background. The raw naked instruments Nirvana represented was so different and exciting! Their unplugged on MTV is legendary. They really shaped the sound for the 90's.
My brother was a college radio DJ in the late 1980s, and a few years later, I asked him if he ever played anything by Nirvana. He said he did, and that if a time traveler had come to him and said that in the fall of 1991, that band would release an album that would hit #1 in almost every country in the world that keeps a music chart, and totally turn popular music on its ear, he'd have said they were nuts. Oh, and who would have thought that the band's drummer (Dave Grohl) was really the heart and soul of that band?
Can you please do Karen Carpenter? Also any insight about the psychological profile of personalities with eating disorder would be of great help to many. Thanks Dr.
It was hard for me, when he killed himself. He was one of the very, very few persons, who had the power to make me feel 'not alone'. I always found and still find his music very uplifting for that reason, not depressing at all and I'm very grateful that he existed. Thank you, doctor. 🌹
@@dannyperfect9270 For anyone reading the baseless, shallow comment above and who may be leaning towards it, just remember that it's an easy out to imagine Kurt wouldn't do what he did and it's an easy out to blame it on something/someone else, especially to blame it on Courtney. To be objective, we can't take easy outs just because they may make us feel better...the evidence supports that he did it (the hereditary factors, his art, his notebooks, his depression, his substance abuse, his previous suicide attempt in Rome, and what was extrapolated from the scene of his death). Not to mention the fact that Courtney revived him after the 1993 heroin overdose and rushed him to the hospital after the 1994 Rohypnol overdose. If she wanted him dead, she could have left him in a coma in one of the hotel rooms until he actually died, then called 911 acting shocked and devastated..instead of going through the risky attempt to have him shot. Don't give into emotional thinking, you're better than that. I'm sad about Kurt too, but am so grateful we have his music and his memory. Let's see your homework, Danny... And do you think that Kurt's mom, sister, daughter, Aunt Mary, bandmates Krist, Dave, Pat, and his best friend Dylan are all dishonoring him because they all accept he committed suicide? How do you explain his previous suicide attempt in Rome? Just a coincidence? How do you explain his depression and substance abuse? It's such an ignorant and unscholarly thing to do...to claim he was murdered, provide no evidence, and scoff at someone telling them to do homework.
@@dannyperfect9270 @Danny Perfect Well, that's presumptuous of you to think I'm a "Courtney sympathizer". So, you think Kurt's mom, sister, daughter, Aunt Mary, Dave, Krist, Pat, and Dylan are all Courtney sympathizers too? It's so easy and shallow to say you have done 25 years of studying the case yet offer no results whatsoever. If you care about people knowing the "truth," then you'd list your evidence. Please do this, I would love to take the time to rebut it all. "Money beats soul" lol, well that's not evidence, that's emotional thinking desperate to make sense of the conspiracy theory. You should just remember, evidence beats wishful thinking.
I'm really curious what your evidence is, and if your 25 years of research is in fact just beliefs from the movie, Soaked in Bleach. I dare you to respond.
Depression is such an insidious, pervasive, all consuming condition!!! 😔 What a terrific analysis Dr. Grande, I really enjoyed hearing your insights on this poor, tortured soul.
Loved how you described depression at the end of the video. It’s hard to explain depression to someone who has not experienced it. Thank you for helping put it into words. Keep doing you Dr Grande.
I love the way you describe depression. Also I would add that every human has basic needs and when they're not being met, depression naturally takes hold.
OMG I can’t believe you did Kurt Cobain!! I couldn’t click fast enough!!! What a tragic death. There is no mercy with depression and substance use on top of that does not help. Really sad. I loved this video! While we are here can you make a video on Michael Hutchence? There is a documentary that came out last year called Mystify: Michael Hutchence. I continue to be a huge fan of INXS.😊 Thank you for this video Dr. Grande!❤️
Oh there’s a Michael Hutchins documentary? I’m going to have to find it. My mom was a huge INXS fan when I was really little and she was devastated by his death. As an adult, I’m a fan of INXS when Michael Hutchins was the singer (I think they replaced him at some point if I remember correctly). He had an amazing voice and was very attractive.
"Heavier than Heaven" is a great book. It really does show that Kurt Cobain wasn't just depressed. He was seriously seriously unwell, physically and mentally.
I remember I read that book many years ago... I think it was in the year 2017 and I read one third of the book or 150 pages approximately... His luck was so unfortunately.
We tend to separate the physical health from the mental health but really they’re both important to each other and part of the same system that is a human being. If you want to feel better mentally take care of your physical body and vice-versa
After a sad break up 4 years ago, I seem to have become perpetually depressed. I am functional but get very little joy out of anything. Everything feels like a great big hassle. I don't even enjoy being with people because I feel uptight with most people. It's really a rock and a hard place because I am super lonely but don't want to hang out much-- it's just hard to understand. My brother died 3 months ago. He always picked up the phone and always listened to me and even let me hang up first. That is so hard to replace, in fact, I don't think I'll ever have anybody in my life again that is that tolerant of me. But I keep on jugging along because what else can you do?
dia sedih sekali kehilangan sahabatnya Chris Cornell. mungkin dalam artian mereka masing masing punya misi yang sudah diselesaikan. suara perlawanan, perjuangan hidupnya,keluarga mereka sudah lalui. kini mereka telah beristirahat dengan damai.
Great analysis! I especially liked how you touched on the cognitive distortions associated with Kurt Cobain’s depression. Distortions get talked about a lot with personality disorders, but they are present for many people experiencing a depressive episode or persistent depressive disorder as well
For a very long time I thought of my severe stomach pain/chest pain as a mysterious illness and even became addicted to opiates attempting to treat it, though it helped it never truly alleviated the symptoms. It wouldn't be until after an attempted suicide I would receive a prescription for anxiety/generalized anxiety disorder, which was manifest almost entirely in chest and stomach pains of a mysterious origin. For years I went to the ER, thinking I was having a heart attack, thinking I was dying, and eventually ended up taking codeine to help me sleep, and just moved on from there. From a sufferer of anxiety and similar symptoms, I find his complaints very much in line with my own and his behavior was similar. It is possible that if he had proper treatment, he could still be with us. Anxiety is more than just worrying and being nervous, often presenting with near unbearable physical pain, restlessness and insomnia. This case hits a little close to home for me, but your analysis is good and measured. I just discovered your channel, and it's a damn sight better than the majority of would-be mental health channels on YT. cheers
Thank you for such a thoughtful discussion of depression and substance abuse. I want people to see this video because - from my experience - you describe it so accurately and compassionately. It is a lovely gift to those that have felt this kind of depression. also a gift in that it may help to take the guilt away once depression becomes really just a memory. I’m so grateful and will share this video with friends and family.
I have always been confident in wanting to work as a psychologist. Since studying psychology at uni, I lost some of that spark. However, you really brought back my interest and I feel excited to continue. Thank you and I love the videos 🖤
What made you lose the spark? Curious because I have my bachelors in psych and going into it initially I was excited, but as I progressed through the coursework i found myself less interested. For me it was the lack of emphasis on studying personality/behavior, and a ton of emphasis on research methods (which I know is very important in justifying psychology as a scientific pursuit). But still I wish there was more focus on personality and behavior. Which is why I love Dr Grande’s videos. This channel def sparks my interest back for psych.
Mike Wassef For me it’s a combination of things. Firstly, just so much “dry” content. It’s theories, surnames, and facts that you have to know. Not many subjects looked beyond the text into real life application. I see people from other degrees participating in clinical settings (even brief) but me? 3 years of reading, reading, and memorising. Not much about what interests me either. Lastly, it’s the pressure to do well to continue. My uni doesn’t have many supervisors (for thesis and further studies) so they take the top people. Very stressful 😩 Hope it gets better for us! Probably just have to survive the boring fundamental areas to progress to the interesting content 🤞🏻
I am studying psychology as well and because it is so broad there are lots of areas that we need to study that aren't going to interest us. There is a lot more to psychology than just clinical psychology. But keep going and eventually you will be able to specialise in your area of interest.
Kurt's daughter Frances was named after actress Frances Farmer, another Seattle native who has a song named after her on In Utero. His affinity towards her was not just that they were artists from the same city, blonde and glamorous, but they both struggled with demons, in Frances' case she was diagnosed with schizophrenia and sectioned on numerous occasions. I'd like to see a case study on her as well.
Good video, Dr. To my mind, Kurt told the world about himself from the beginning; "I feel contagious and stupid." That's depression in a nutshell. It's why depressed people withdraw, they feel their depression is contagious, somehow. Though they often hold their depression proves they are smarter than most people, not stupid. I know I use to. Not that I could, or would, have articulated it that way back then. Depression, along with an often attendant anxiety, tends to swallow one's words, not just feelings. What I use to wonder back then, wordlessly, you might say, is how feeling so empty, could feel so damn painful.
I am a huge fan of Nirvana and was right from the beginning. It was like meeting my musical soulmate when I heard the lyrics, melody, guitars, drums, everything appealed to me. I realize now that this was because the whole "grunge" movement was about people suffering from depression (which I was diagnosed with a while after Kurt died) so most of the music really hit my heart. As a result I was truly heartbroken when he died. I felt like Cobain could understand me, but I think he was upset because he didn't think most of society would relate to his music and he was upset that society did. Some of that is thinking you are special even if in a bad way and that no one is supposed to understand you. And yes, things like depression can be biological but also relate to your childhood if you felt unloved by parents and society (which I did). I realize now that every single feeling, thought, and issues I have had in life are not unique in that someone else will have experienced the same thing ... not that special like I thought. Of course as most fans know, after we lost Kurt so many other "grunge' or alt rock singers died mostly from overdoses whether intentional or not I don't know. Ah, if only all of them could be like Dave Grohl, now he is unique and special. Depression is a terrible thing, but I still feel guilty for having it because most of my family does not believe or support mental illness. RIP Kurt.
Having two suicides in my immediate family, (gunshots to the head), this explanation of depression & substance use/abuse (i listened to it 4 times) was a highlight of understanding for me. thank you for the clarity.
Dr. Grande please give your professional opinion about the personality of O J Simpson, and his fakeness/facade he likes to project and thinks people believe.
Sounds like celebrity 101 syndrome. As lucrative as this channel may be for Dr. Grande as a growing side biz, I hope he doesn’t veer into pulp analysis of weekly celebrities as his main source of videos.
I read OJ's book, If I did It , after it became the property of the Goldman family who was able to receive the profits because they never saw a dime from OJ despite winning a civil wrongful death case and... uh, yeah, I mean, he did it. He murdered Nicole and Ron because he's a jealous, controlling dick. I was relieved when he finally went to jail for unrelated issues because if he got away with murder twice, imagine his ego to get away with it again...
Thank you for covering him Dr Grande. l was a teenager when he passed. I liked Kurt's voice and his ability to write great lyrics and great music, their unplugged stuff is my favourite. Him also being able to communicate his pain and life through music. It helped me and really I think he had such talent and I'm sorry he is gone.
So chilling and deeply sad when you so correctly said how depression is a formidable and merciless foe! Tragic how many people don't get the treatment needed for this condition!
I agree. I’m actually a big fan of Courtney love and Hole and I hate when people say she murdered him. She had lots of opportunities. She could’ve let him OD and not called 911. People like to point out the “lethal dose of heroin in his system. As a former addict I had WAY over the lethal dose in my system daily. It would’ve killed someone with no tolerance. And I imagine as a very wealthy addict, his tolerance was even higher. Was she perfect? No. But imagine having your child’s father kill himself and then have the world blaming you.
Another very thorough and thoughtful analysis. I would love to hear your assessment of Mary Kay Letourneau who just passed away at age 58 from cancer. Thank you so much.
Oh wow this is such a great description of depression. I always struggle to explain it to people... Family and friends try to help but they can't understand why you feel the way you do, and i can understand that because rationally it makes no sense. But knowing that doesn't make it go away, it just makes me feel worse, more of a parasite. :(
I have an inkling that Kurt suffered from borderline personality disorder. Moodiness, volatile moods, abandonment issues, unstable sense of self, drug abuse, love/hate, black and white thinking aka splitting, dependency. He checks every trait down the list. People with borderline personality disorder are often misdiagnosed as bipolar. But, he was also actively using drugs for extended periods of time so it's hard to say were his personality ended and the drugs started.
His cousin said he had bipolar. He definitely had it because his overdoses were accidental (very much bipolar, whereas borderline clients do it on purpose for relief) .
@@BrendaGarcia-ty2ml Courtney opened up about having thought about having an affair with another man when she was in London, which she didnt, Kurts response was to OD on rohypnol. "...I'm not, I wasnt as monogamous as he is. I'm a big flirt, so I flirt with chairs, but I never cheated on him, but i certainly thought about it one time in London. And I could have done it and the response to it was... he took 67 Rohypnols and ended up in a coma because I thought about cheating..." -Courtney Love, Montage of Heck. That doesnt sound very accidental to me. He even left a note. Alot of Kurts behavior seemed very reactionary, which is sort of uncharacteristic of bipolar disorder (not to say that people with bipolar disorder cant become upset about negative events, but their episodes tends to come about without much external triggers) The kicker here is that nobody seems to have ever observed Kurt in either a manic or hypomanic state, nor has he ever been hospitalizes or recieved treatment for one. A manic/hypomanic episode is a requisite for a bipolar diagnosis. Peoples understanding of Bipolar back in the 80s/90s was "A person who's moods fluctuate alot." so I can understand why many would label him as one, but as far as I know, he was never diagnosed with it by a health professional. Nor I have never found any credible source for such a claim.
@@Massivecarcrash I saw this documentary! And that still sounded like a bipolar/mood disorder impulsive action to me, like when Van Gogh (who people believe had a mood disorder) cut his ear just because his roomate didn’t want to be his roomate anymore. Bipolar is more complicated than just mania/depressed (I have it) Kurt gives me more dysphoric bipolar. I saw another comment about how another one of his overdoses was accidental. But I get you! This is a complicated case, and it’s possible he had both too. But what you point to is also very borderline behavior.
I appreciate the analysis of a musician, Dr. Grande. There's a lot there to unpack. Their lives are often very publicized, so we can see some of what contributed to who they are/were. I agree with the suggestion of Chris Cornell, but also Chester Bennington, anybody in the infamous "27 club", Tupac, and The Notorious B.I.G..
I live 30 min from Aberdeen, Wa. A great documentary about the circumstances surrounding his death is “Soaked in Bleach.” It presents a different perspective. Kurt was an artistic and emotional modern day woke musical poet. He would be 52 today. Gone way too soon. RIP Kurt
Soaked in Bleach is an exploitation movie masquerading as a documentary. It uses mood music and staged performances in order to appeal to your emotions... The basis of its claims are not founded on evidence but are merely conspiracy theory. And no one who was close to Kurt believes he didn't kill himself. I miss him and I know it's hard to accept, but imagining he wouldn't do that in order to make us feel better is irresponsible wishful thinking. If you care about being objective and correct, don't just give into confirmation bias by seeking out conspiracy movies or info that supports what you want to believe... also have the courage to look up information that can disprove what you want to believe... search "Soaked in Bleach controversy," "Tom Grant credibility," "are no liftable fingerprints on guns common," "Carole Chaski suicide note verdict Cobain," "Cobain previous suicide attempt" and see where the evidence takes you... I dare you to respect your mind enough to do this. Take care.
Dr. Grande, you used the phrase ”Depression distorted reality.” That explains volumes of someone who reaches the point of taking their own life 😢 Seeking professional help is crucial!
Kudos on how clearly and concisely you are able to present the facts, Dr. Grande. These are definitely one of the many lessons I‘ve learned from watching your videos.
I think the undiagnosed stomach problems that were quickly referenced in this video contributed a great deal to Kurt Cobain being the way he was, maybe more than many people realize. I remember at some point, he said something to the effect that being a world-famous musician was nice and all, but what he really wanted was for somebody to name a stomach ailment after him. Or in other words, figure out what was going wrong with his gut and fix it. There’s an autoimmune condition out there that’s one of the most misdiagnosed conditions that causes stomach problems that can lead to life threatening consequences if left untreated. It’s called celiac disease and I have it and I know from what I’ve read and from my own experience that if someone with celiac continues to trigger the condition by eating gluten, it can lead to devastating consequences both for physical and mental health. I know from my own experience that when I accidentally eat something with gluten in it, it causes physical symptoms like a bad case of food poisoning and it leaves me feeling hair-trigger hypersensitive, moody, irritable and depressed. I have often wondered if Kurt Cobain suffered with undiagnosed celiac disease for all of his too short life. I’m not saying that if he had this condition and if he had been put on a gluten-free diet that all of his problems would have been solved... but maybe some of them would have been.
@sabbracadabra yea I agree. I'm not sure that the extent of Kurt's "stomach ailment" was but heroin addicts are famous for making up medical conditions and using them as an excuse to take more drugs.
This was extremely well done... I've been waiting for so long for someone to actually to make this and cover in a medical standpoint of Kurt Cobain since I've always struck a note with him farther than his angst in a sense You can get a lot of subscribers if you keep this up with other famous people like Jim Morrison.
I am SO HAPPY to be here so early for this! When I saw the notification for Dr. Todd and Kurt I couldn't get here fast enough. I'm 33 a d have loved Kurt since I was a child. I was young but I remember his passing. Theres a lot more to it, but as I got older and thru my experiences I was able to relate to him and his music on such a spiritual level. I had idolized this man. My AIM screen name in middle school and high school was KurtCisGod69 (2edgy4me, I know). I was convinced for years that I would be party of that club 27 myself, at the oldest. I got clean years ago, and I just wish he had had the what he needed when he needed it most. Sorry for long rant but I want to thank you for doing this. Great video. As soon as I am back to work full time again I will be jumping on Patreon for you.
Something odd I’ve noticed about Kurt that I didn’t notice before, he doesn’t get nervous. Not in even in one interview or appearance. Joy and stress are weirdly related, I can now see why he wasn’t wired for happiness…I’m no psychologist but it’s just a mere observation, to have a missing emotion is just a red flag, he was always very deep or just sarcastic, serious, winey, analytical, dissociated, interested or not at all, a true pieces Too
With depression, there is no such thing as past, current, and possible future accomplishments. He “made it” and still felt shitty. I think this is key: you really achieved remarkable success, and it means nothing. That is the specter of depression. Very interesting: Thank you.
Thanks, Dr. Grande, for this analysis of the late Kurt Cobain and how in-depth your character study on him is. Loved Nirvana. Depression combined with addiction is a time bomb, as I know from my own experience (clean & sober many years now but still dealing with depression despite meds and counseling). Some of us draw genes predisposing us to certain conditions, and our environment can help shape certain outcomes. Nature + nurture. Learning a lot from you, keep up the good work, you're a breath of fresh air in these times we're living in.
CellarDoor33 what’s interesting is that his girlfriend was a mental health professional! She was an art therapist. I’d love to hear Dr. Grande’s thoughts on that situation.
As someone who has a past history of both depression and suicide attempts I can tell you that you can be in a crowded room with everyone who loves you let still be alone. I recall a Dr who was reviewing me after my 72 hour hold tell me that she, nor anyone else, could stop me from ending my life but that removing me from society and the freedom associated with my ability to disappear on my own, that I could have time to reflect on what I REALLY wanted to do. I just knew that I was supposed to stay alive after that time and I recovered. But I very much did not want to continue with my life and it's challenges before I was scheduled and I have enormous sympathy for those people who do end their lives Kurt Cobain included. I'm glad that Francis has now lived longer than her father and I hope she enjoys every day! Thank you Dr G. You were very sensitive with this material and I hope it has been helpful for many people out there.
I recently found your channel and I love your content!! This video hits home for me. My father took his life as well so it is some how therapeutic to hear your "reasoning" as to why people do what they do!!
Love that you mentioned about depression as negating any positive, as someone who suffers mental health issues and been to treatment center and currently work in healthcare. It is hard to battle black and white thinking and categorical mistakes. The distortion of reality is a great point, because the world is different from the self. When you say things like the world is bad, you can’t make judgments for the whole world, maybe your world is bad but not everyone else’s. Great video doc
Kurt said he had a good life before his parents' divorce at age 7. After the divorce, Kurt lost himself and had no identity. Imagine how he would have been if his parents did not divorce? His life coexistenced around his family, and he experienced consistent trauma when he was kicked out of his mother's and father's home. Also, he felt lost when his father remarried as other children came into the picture and he was ignored. His depression and acting out started early as he felt alone and that no one understood him as he did not understand himself. He did not receive the parenting he needed as a child, but he was forced to live a transit lifestyle between his mother and father home and at times he lived under a bridge to escape the pain of feeling unwanted. Kurt's depression and severe stomach started at a early age and the pain affected his life. He was always in pain and there were times before his performances, Kurt was bent over or laying on the floor in a fetal position, because of the pain. Story is that his stomach condition started when he was a teenager and that the reason he started using hard drugs was to manage his pain. In time, I believe doctors found out what was causing his stomach pain.
@Char Sui Not sure who you're thinking of, but that's not Chris Cornell. Chris Cornell is a singer/song writer, most famously from the band Soundgarden.
@Char Sui I'm not certain about the Clinton foundation part but I know that he was getting ready to expose the child sex trafficking being done within political circles. Same thing with Chester Bennington. Rumors described both "suicides" as being victims of "Arkenside"
I wonder what you could present on Brian Wilson. There’s so much about him concerning mental health to discuss. I think he might have Asperger’s even (but I’m not diagnosing, just speculating..). But he is witness of psychedelic-induced psychosis, side effects of psychotic drugs (he might have developed tardive dyskinesia), victim of an abusive and narcissistic father, victim of a control freak and quack of a “psycholgist” (Landy), he is a musical genius... I feel the anti-psychotic drugs he had to take under the control of Landy ruined greatly his health. But were they worse than the illicit drug abuse? And then, after all the trials and tribulations he stayed a sweet and humble gentleman, still making music. Yes, I think a video about Brian Wilson with your insights would be very interesting.
Dr Grande, in this context, please do an analysis on Layne Staley. He opened my eyes to the field of mental health struggles and addiction, and his lyricsare the most haunting, his backstory and the end of his life in 2002 are the most crushing of any musician. Its safe to say that thanks to Layne I discovered your channel, eager to try to understand him more. He is so sorely missed 😢
It’s interesting because this sounds like me. I can be depressed, have guilt, and often think I’m a narcissist when my professional therapist says I’m not. When I’m in public, I’ll try to focus on acting extra kind so people are not offend, and to keep myself in check.
Depression is like a big black dog, never letting you go, being with you all the time. A heavy big black dog. No matter how hard you're trying to lift it up, it's too heavy. No matter how much you're trying to enjoy something, it will always breath heavily on your neck.
"Depression distorts reality. " Very true.
I would think that what we call "depresion" is state where you start to recognize "distortion of reality" that already exists. People with "depression" start to recognize "doable tolk" and discover double meaning of many things around them.
JustChizzin I get you and I understand you. I have suffered from severe depression and anxiety all my life. Early childhood molestation and an eventual rape as a young adult (by two different people, both relatives) helped nothing. I have been on a cocktail of different meds since age 26 and I am still on them 16 years and three kids later. The thing with depression is you fully understand why it is (fundamentally brain chemistry exacerbated by early trauma) and you know how you ought to be, yet you cannot get there. Folks who say “cheer up” or “don’t be anxious” help no one. In fact, those cliche responses only serve to aggravate the sufferer, as they either feel guilty for being the way they are or they feel patronized by folks who don’t know what the hell they are talking about. When I am deep in the depression (ebbs and flows like anything) all of life seems ludicrous. Pointless. It’s not that the sufferers feels “superior” to the folks they are witnessing day to day, but, at least in my case, a lot of envy is involved. How I wish I could take pleasure in a sunset or going for ice cream or whatever. What pisses me off are folks that think mental illness is a “choice.” Just, no. When people tell me that, I just walk away. I must protect my own health if I am to remain on this mortal coil, you know?
Conditioning distorts reality.
Depression is hell.😥😥😥
@Chief Seattle ikr it's fucking hell
I’m a qualified psychiatric nurse. Many years ago, while working as a nurse I became so depressed I needed inpatient treatment. The most frightening thing was when I thought that if I killed myself my parents could say to my son I got run over. The main thing that halted that thought process was I still had some insight and I k ew what the consequences would be for my son if he was to lose his mother this way
Depression is so hard for those who haven’t experienced it to understand
I'm so grateful you d
got out of that deep black pit. The consequences for families are devastating and kids of parents who suicide are at high risk of taking the same path. How did you get out of the depression?
When my brother did the deed, my dad told me that he was tempted to tell people that he died some other way, but decided against that.
You need to go Out for a 10 Miles jog everyday. Brings You back to reality. Nature Will save You.
Had a pistol under my chin a few times.
Depression is a severe monster...
Its a demon.
Bipolar depression is even worse...
You're telling me it has no forgiveness
No joke, depression or anxiety 😣
@@cheothegeo2742 no, there is no mental illness thats better or worse than another, it's unfair to those suffering with them and how devastating it can be is on a case by case basis
The roots are always in the childhood. He was thrown away by his parents and no surprise he hated humanity by the time he was 7. He suffered and wanted love and attention and he turned to drugs at an early age. This led to heroin addiction and depression later. I feel sorry for him because he was a sensitive, very talented guy.
Yes, very true, it’s all his parents fault, some people are just too sensitive to get over childhood neglect
@@IGlowIFlow Yes, very true. People are different, some are get over it more easily while some other suffer deeply. Kurt was sensitive and he suffered a lot. Really sad.
Why did his parents give him away. I’ve never heard this.
This would also explain why he was so mediocre with the guitar and never really cared about his solos, even though he was even really talented for making solos...
Nah my guy, it’s more than just childhood. Depression is a brain disease that people are born with. It’s a chemical imbalance. You just hear about it more with people with depression because they focus on it more. People who don’t have depression you never hear about this shit, because they don’t focus on it. This is also why people with depression use drugs. It’s the worst fucking disease it just torments you for years and years.
As a person who lives with Major Depression I thought your analysis of Kurt Cobain was very insightful. Cobain wrote a song, "I hate myself and want to die". That captures the disease perfectly. The disease attacks your sense of self. It is relentless.
L bozo
Yea it’s terrible. The most distressful of all psychic ailments, and likely the most horrible thing one can experience. Been there. No buono.
"you know you're right" also heavily portrays his thoughts that people would be better off without him
@@TheCitedAviator yeah he wrote songs like those and yet we still have morons who still say he was murdered
That song was written sarcastically, Kurt had said it was a joke and not serious! Brush up on your Nirvana.
We hear time and again people commenting “he had everything, he had money, a good life, fame, yet he killed himself”. But you are right Dr Grande, deep depression warps a persons perspective of life. I have a friend who suffers from depression, it is a constant struggle for her to remain upright. I am going to hug her extra hard today. Thank you for this video...
Halleluyah,amein.
What a lovely perspective!
It’s always what people say when successful people take their life.. sadly it doesn’t work that way and all those things won’t make anybody resistent to deep depression.
Depression is horrific as is anxiety, I suffer from it daily and am treatment resistant. Also he reported stomach pain before he used substance I imagine when it wore off it made it way worse and made the depression way worse which becomes a vicious cycle. Depression and fear is a vicious cycle plus his wife was a real piece of work.
Bravo
I'm within a few years of Cobain's age, so I had a lot of friends who were similarly devastated by their parents divorce. There weren't manuals of best guidance for how to split, how to share custody, how to co-parent children at that time. Basically one day the parents would tell you that they were getting a divorce. One party moved out right away. Formerly stay at home moms were suddenly working full time, creating the "latch key" kids, usually with a lower standard of living. Vicious custody battles were not uncommon, and courts didn't think to protect kids, they often put them in the middle asking them who they wanted to live with, etc. It was harder for those children than it should have been because divorce hadn't been as widespread before. Most grandparents disapproved of their children divorcing, and would often tell their grandchildren that they should have stayed together "for the kids", i.e. you. Your school friends treated you like the worst imaginable thing in the world just happened to you. It terrified children and yes, had a lasting and deep impression on Gen X kids who went through it in the 70s.
You are so right. Divorce can be very traumatic for children, for some more than others. But back in that generation, it was kind of a new thing to have such high divorce rates.
Yes we have some better programs now but it’s still very hard for children of divorce. It literally tears families apart. It is confusing for children who are now expected to cope with the fact that mom and dad split but now live with new partners or have replacements for mom or dad. Or they are married into new families with new siblings and little children are expected to adapt to the environment and pretend like it’s okay; but also normal. Divorce is harder on children then on parents. The parents make a natural choice to have a sexual relationship with someone, but they children cannot divorce a father or mother; nor can they replace them. Except surrogates
i have exactly the opposite experience....my parents stayed together and i was always proud of them and felt fortunate cos they stuck it out...
but i was wrong....i didnt begin to understand WHY till i began to study psychology.
My Mom was a covert narc and my Dad was in the Navy overseas 6 months out of every year.
and even though TWO psychiatrists told me to 'pretend she was DEAD' and go no contact, i couldnt....and i suffered tremendously all my life for it....even up to 60 years old.
I dont trust the court system, i believe THEY cause as many problems as they claim to solve,but i know we DO have a better understanding of the issues these days.
I cant really say if id been better off any other way, except that maybe if id went to college and studied psychology, ( which was my only possible interest in higher education )...but i wasnt financially able.
Thank goodness for TH-cam and my own curiosity.
Wonderful explanation! I'm shocked that Dr. Grande doesn't know that broken homes and/or single mothers always have been and still are one of the top three causes of poverty and crime. Coming from a broken home usually always messes a kid up good. Divorce definitely wasn't just hard on kids in the 1970's, even though it became more common later When I was 15 in 1994, I thought my parents were get divorced that year, and it was still one of the worst things that could possibly happen to you as a kid. I didn't know anybody whose parents were divorced either. Divorce definitely was and is not normal amongst a better class of people with values. It mostly still something that only degenerates do. It's simply more common because Western Civilization and Western values are in rapid decline.
I agree, divorce can be extremely traumatic for children.
One of my classmates tragically took his own life at age 10 or 11 at least in part due to being unable to cope with his parents divorce. The poor kid had been crying in class almost daily since the divorce happened and he just wasn't himself anymore.
(This must have been around the year 1997)
Dr. G you should make shirts that say “I’m not Diagnosing anybody, just speculating.” Haha they’d sell like hot cakes!!!!
True! I’d get one
Lmao that really would
I'm pretty sure I'd get one. 😉
Yes!!!!
i just realized i need this shirt
I find often times these problems start off as early childhood abuse. In turn this leads to the drug use.
I agree. I recommend watching Dr, Gabor Mate videos if you haven't seen them already. He's got a great understanding of the relationship between drug addiction and early childhood trauma and or neglect or abuse.
I struggle with severe anxiety and depression. I grew up with pretty much the exact same issues as Kurt did. Alot in common, it's almost scary...Everyday is a struggle... But his music honestly saved my life...
Heroin time ❤ :) its underrated
Being a working musician, playing 6 nights a week and traveling on the 7th for years, you can get burned out on the thing you loved and that motivated you for your whole life. Losing that is incredibly depressing. I even stopped listening to music for years.
I hope you are doing well.
I appreciate the mental health and personality analyses of famous people and killers and stuff, but I think my absolute favorite of your videos are the case studies about various different disorders. So interesting.
so often integrated 🙏
Me too, but i love this new series too
Personality disorders are more interesting for me too. I am shocked by the abnormal pyschology topics we covered in college & it was just sick!! I didnt get to finish the class so it would be interesting to learn about weirdos that like being defecated on or puked on.
Dr. Grande, why?? Why does that happen to ppl??
I agree, I found Dr. Grande's channel recently and I have come across some older videos like case studies or general analysis of various disorders and I appreciate those..
Wow! This was the only compassionate analysis I have ever come across regarding the suicide of Kurt Cobain and the depression he suffered. I think you are spot on and explain it well. He wasn't some druggy that just did himself in. He suffered severe mental health issues which lead to him ending his pain. So sad. Thank you Dr. Grande for another thorough analysis!
I agree. He wasn't a "druggy" who "just did himself in." The evidence strongly points towards murder and not suicide. I'm currently researching this...interesting. 🤔
The doc is dead wrong on this to presume suicide, Courtney is guilty af.
@@kyliejones8827 what a crock. there's not a shred of evidence for any murder conspiracy.
@@califtom ok 👌 Still researching.... 😁
@@kyliejones8827 what's the source of your research? conspiracy theory websites and TH-cam videos? there's not a shred of physical evidence for any murder
Depression alone is a haunting phantom. Add drugs to the mix and there is nothing left but a deep pit.
Thanks for doing this one, Dr.. It's so sad that he is dead
I remember when he passed away, my heart broke then as a teenager and seeing this video brought those feelings up again. Rest peacefully Kurt.❤
“Sometimes the people around you won’t understand your journey. They don’t need to, it’s not for them.”
--Joubert Botha
That's the problem with our current society. Everyone tries to fit in instead of freely thinking. Juvenile emotional reactions are best left in the cave man era but our country runs on them.
yeah and it sucks
I haven't watched yet but I'm calling it now: Somewhat high in openness to experience, somewhat low in conscientiousness, low in extraversion, somewhat high in agreeableness, and high in neuroticism.
I'm totally jealous cuz I want to be able to do the OCEAN thing! Im still trying to memorize the dang acronym! lol
So close!!
Almost... 👌🏾
@@gonzojr.8648 I readily memorized the various factors of personality, but I've actually looked into several different models of personality which use different acronyms, so the OCEAN acronym takes me a while sometimes. Researchers had independently converged on the idea of these five broad categories to personality. There are some models with six factors, too, but most seem to agree on these five.
Despite it being the most empirical model we have, I do actually feel somewhat ambivalent about it. There are subcategories to the five traits to explain this, but… how many people do you know who are highly intellectual and curious about math and science, yet don't value the arts and humanities, but not vice versa? Those are both measured by Openness - yet, are they really the same thing? That there are subcategories to account for this doesn't fully satisfy me.
@@booradley0x0 I posted ASAP without even thinking much. Kurt was just the perfect embodiment of the anguished musician that it's hard to imagine him not scoring that way; it's just a matter of pegging the granular position along the continuum.
Aw, Kurt. I think anyone who has suffered from depression can really relate to some of the things he said in his note. Like when he said he is too sensitive, that really resonates. It’s difficult when things happen that other people can just brush off but you can’t. I didn’t really know other people felt like that too.
He reminds me so much of my best friend who ended his life three years ago... We used to listen to Nirvana a lot together but I had no idea he was suicidal. It was so devastating, he was 28, just a year older than Kurt.
Sorry about the loss of your friend.
Most people that are truly suicidal don't mention the idea to anyone and when they are going to attempt suicide they plan it out in ways as to not be interrupted or interfered with. They have a plan in mind with a clear strategy to succeed. Most will seem happy right before this and speak in paste tense. This is when they ultimately made thier decision to set thier plan in motion in the near future. When someone is depressed and seeking help they often mention suicide because it is a cry for help. These type of people are looking for an alternative to suicide and leave suicide as a last resort. 💔
@@goldshieldinthedark That is a myth. Some people talk about suicide and still kill themselves.
Edit: Well, you did say that suicide is a last resort. Some people think people will never do it if they talk about it but that is not true. It could happen.
I'm sorry about your loss, I also had a friend who committed suicide in 2016 when she was 25. I met her in high school and she was both weird and cool and did drugs and struggled with depression at times but I never imagined that she would actually end up killing herself.
@@Jojos25 I'm also sorry for your loss, this is horrible...
Hi doctor, i suffer from major depression and just wanted to say that hearing your thoughts on the detriment of depression is very strangely comforting. Its nice to hear someone who i know is competent and well versed in a subject matter like depression give a well rounded explanation of depression that shows they understand the insufferable feeling of disordered depression without, presumably, feeling it themselves. I'm not sure why but it makes me feel a little less crazy in this crazy world hahaha. I really enjoyed this video. thank you.
You need to understand that it is a humane thing. We are stuck in this society and there is no one standing up to resolve this prison. Depression makes you feel very alone and constantly dealing with all these thoughts makes you soooo tired! So yes, it is so difficult to move on. I hope you are still alive, my friend!
Maybe try to get a good posture or something ? I am serious. Many people suffer from the "sack of potatoes depression". Get it in order.
Kurt Cobain's story really shows how depression is really deadly, no matter how great of a life you may have. Thank you for all the great content!
Could you do a video on Courtney Love? or maybe on why people seem to think that she killed Kurt. I think that would be interesting
The motive is obvious, money but I agree, a video on her would be interesting
I second this
Remember seeing CL at Goodwood she was extremely laaaaate!! Took to the stage and insulted everyone including the hosts ,...woukd be a good one though
She did.
I would like to see this too.
I have a friend who was in the Army, stationed in Washington state. There was a bar just outside the gates that he used to go to. He would go in and listen to a band, they were the loudest band he ever heard. He really liked the singer, the band was Nirvana.
WHAATT!!??
Whoa!! That is too cool.
I’m jealous
What a cool story, what year was that?
Nirvana who?
The best description of severe depression I have ever seen. And the most compassionate
I want to thank you for your compassionate discussion of depression. I have suffered all my life and never has anyone spoken with so much empathy. You also brought up some points about KC that I had never read about or seen discussed and those points from his childhood go a long way to explaining some things about him. Yes friends out there don't buy a gun for a friend who shows signs of depression...tell them you are a felon if you have to just do not do it!!!!!
Watching this video and seeing the different images of Cobain make me realise just how unhappy he really was. Nirvana were a little before my time. I know next to nothing about him, but he has such dead eyes in absolutely every picture. What a tragic loss.
Agreed
Seems they didn't have much time to conceal the doom and gloom.
Appears he didn't want the joy of success 🙏
Robert Boyle - I may be wrong, but I think that with depression the person loses all the desires, even the desire for joy and success. The inability to feel pleasure or anhedonia that many times accompanies depression is excruciating too, part of being a human being is being able to experience these emotions. Depression is a very serious condition and unfortunately so many people suffer from this disease. Sad.
@@juliasugarbaker9032
You got it exactly right. I remember.
Julia Sugarbaker My brain can’t quite wrap itself around seeing the name Julia Sugarbaker on a discussion of Kurt Cobain. lol
Never clicked so fast! It's going to be a treat to hear your opinions on Kurt.
Right
Same here
Louise Hesse ...SAME!
Why dont u hook up with the doc then ^^ im jokin i feel u
Same! I loove Kurt Cobain, i loove Dr. Grande 🥰
As someone with chronic pain, I have always blamed the lack of care from doctors. He lived with this pain untreated and tried to medicate. Not sure if it would have turned out differently, but it was a contributing factor.
he has money to seek help
2 things. I think he felt hopeless that his marriage was failing and divorce was imminent. With Kurt he really wanted to have that one person he could count on. He thought it was Courtney and when he found out she was not it, he felt super defeated. That and I really think he wanted to quit and be away from public life for a bit but was constantly pressured by others due to money. Also I think he battled internal conflict with leaving fame and being forgotten. I think he was severely conflicted by fame, wanting and hating it. That added with addiction and depression, he just felt like ending the whole book instead of seeing it as a chapter and just closing the chapter and starting a new one. I don’t think he had the energy tbh with his physical ailments and mental ones to start over. I miss Kurt a lot. I grew up with him. I thought he was a genius.
I was 14 when he passed. I was in Paris on a school trip initially having the time of my life, the sheer dreamlike excitement of being out of my homeland (Ireland) for the first time.
I remember later on the Friday April 8th, with my circle of friends trying to process what we just heard, and why it happened. At 14, it was impossible to digest and analyse things.
I agree with the "Conflict" you mention.👍 Here was a man who, loved/hated the aspects of fame.
His conflict of a possible divorce with Courtney in horrid league with the lifelong Blight on his mind via his own parents separation. He must have felt that he was reliving it again via Frances getting parental partition should he and Courtney even split.
Imposter Syndrome, Self Sabotage kicking in regarding feeling "not deserving" acclaim and admiration, leading and lending more guilt.
It especially hurts when we know who else was thinking of him, looking to reach out to him. Michael Stipe wanted to fly him to Atlanta to chill out, maybe work on music together. Imagine that: Music inthe vein of "Unplugged" and "Automatic for the People". 👍
Neil Young wanted to talk to him, tell him to just get out and away. Kurts dark hue of depression hung over him , cloaking his sight. He couldnt see that elder statepeople of music he liked wanted to work with him, talk to him.
Anyway mate, just wanted to say that I liked your words.👍 Since the 30th anniversary of his passing Ive been reading comments like that, listening even more to Nirvana again. 👍
Cobain was very sensitive and fragile. He had an innocent soul. I've never heard him cheating or violate anyone. We always love him for his art and we know his value, although he himself couldn't know. God bless him.
Holy abandonment issues, Batman - I was hearing about how he got bounced between his dad, his mom and his friends, and all I could think was "This guy never knew stability, did he?" My father had something similar happen to him when he was young - there were a few years where my grandmother had serious depressive episodes and it wasn't safe for the kids to be around her, so she had to go to the hospital; this meant my dad and his younger sister had to stay with aunts and uncles, sometimes on very short notice. He's since been to therapy and understands why this was a measure for his safety, but he said the hurt stayed with him for years.
Also an excellent summary of depression. Some ppl just don't understand the depth of depression, and wonder why ppl with depression should just get over it and move on. From your summary, it's clear that this is extremely unlikely to happen without treatment and intervention :)
There is no intervention when there is a Courtney Love> Just Murder
You sound heartless. You can't just get over depression, SO YOU GET OVER IT.
Sorry , i just reread what you wrote and it didn't say what I thought it said
Thank you for these videos, especially the ones where you discuss depression. Often people who don't have depression themselves see it as attention seeking behavior and this makes it difficult for me to have a dialogue with them about it... your videos help a great deal in understanding and making sense of things so I just wanted to thank you for making them.
I am deeply touched by how you explain the way in which depression warps perception. So clear and accurate. It is , indeed, “a formidable foe”
As a Gestalt therapist I see a lot of shame and guilt related to the anger in the Kurt's notes. The anger appeared probably in early childhood as a consequence of the familiar system situation and probably haven't been heard with empathy and acceptance - I assume the father have sent him to mental health counselor in order to "fix" his issues and symptoms as a kid, when in the reality the good step would be the family therapy joined together to understand the root cause of Kurt's anger. This could cause the depression in a long therm. These are of course just some of my ipotesis. Sorry if the English wasn't perfect. :) Thank You Dr Todd Grande for Your analysis. :)
The thought of Courtney Love staging an intervention is both scary and sobering. I know I did drugs just to feel normal. Kids, it doesn't work. It breaks my heart to think he was doing his daughter a favor by ending his life. So sad
And you believe everything you read in the Washington Post
@@willduke32 Ooo, Courtney shade. Smells like teen spirit.
@@willduke32 and you believe every loony conspiracy theory
@@califtom these days 9 0ut 0f ten Conspiracy's are true unless you are ignorant
@@willduke32 oh really? name them for me then. are alien abduction conspiracy theories true also?
I still remember the first time I heard a Nirvana song, in the early 90's. Before that, everything was very slick and produced, with sound effects and synths in the background. The raw naked instruments Nirvana represented was so different and exciting! Their unplugged on MTV is legendary. They really shaped the sound for the 90's.
My brother was a college radio DJ in the late 1980s, and a few years later, I asked him if he ever played anything by Nirvana. He said he did, and that if a time traveler had come to him and said that in the fall of 1991, that band would release an album that would hit #1 in almost every country in the world that keeps a music chart, and totally turn popular music on its ear, he'd have said they were nuts. Oh, and who would have thought that the band's drummer (Dave Grohl) was really the heart and soul of that band?
I was 17 when I first heard Nirvana and I hated it. But eventually it grew on me and I ended up liking them.
And suddenly grunge was chic - making it quick and easy to get dressed in the mornings
You just didn’t hear about the bands Kurt was influenced by…There were already a couple of major bands in the scene making loud distorted music
Can you please do Karen Carpenter? Also any insight about the psychological profile of personalities with eating disorder would be of great help to many. Thanks Dr.
Yes please! And Lena Zavaroni
I second that. Karen Carpenter's life was truly tragic.
That was a sad end, Karen Carpenter. We had her Christmas album that we listened to every year.
@@keldonmcfarland2969 Yeah, she was an amazing singer.
He did one on Karen. It was the video I saw before this one. It's sad.
This story always makes me so sad. You handled it with a lot of empathy. Depression is a foe.
Another insightful video, Doc. I firmly believe that anybody that says suicide is the easy way out doesn’t fully understand depression. R.I.P, Kurt 🙌🏻
It was hard for me, when he killed himself. He was one of the very, very few persons, who had the power to make me feel 'not alone'. I always found and still find his music very uplifting for that reason, not depressing at all and I'm very grateful that he existed. Thank you, doctor. 🌹
Smells like teen spirit..his best !
@@dannyperfect9270 For anyone reading the baseless, shallow comment above and who may be leaning towards it, just remember that it's an easy out to imagine Kurt wouldn't do what he did and it's an easy out to blame it on something/someone else, especially to blame it on Courtney. To be objective, we can't take easy outs just because they may make us feel better...the evidence supports that he did it (the hereditary factors, his art, his notebooks, his depression, his substance abuse, his previous suicide attempt in Rome, and what was extrapolated from the scene of his death). Not to mention the fact that Courtney revived him after the 1993 heroin overdose and rushed him to the hospital after the 1994 Rohypnol overdose. If she wanted him dead, she could have left him in a coma in one of the hotel rooms until he actually died, then called 911 acting shocked and devastated..instead of going through the risky attempt to have him shot. Don't give into emotional thinking, you're better than that. I'm sad about Kurt too, but am so grateful we have his music and his memory.
Let's see your homework, Danny... And do you think that Kurt's mom, sister, daughter, Aunt Mary, bandmates Krist, Dave, Pat, and his best friend Dylan are all dishonoring him because they all accept he committed suicide? How do you explain his previous suicide attempt in Rome? Just a coincidence? How do you explain his depression and substance abuse? It's such an ignorant and unscholarly thing to do...to claim he was murdered, provide no evidence, and scoff at someone telling them to do homework.
@@dannyperfect9270 @Danny Perfect Well, that's presumptuous of you to think I'm a "Courtney sympathizer". So, you think Kurt's mom, sister, daughter, Aunt Mary, Dave, Krist, Pat, and Dylan are all Courtney sympathizers too?
It's so easy and shallow to say you have done 25 years of studying the case yet offer no results whatsoever. If you care about people knowing the "truth," then you'd list your evidence. Please do this, I would love to take the time to rebut it all. "Money beats soul" lol, well that's not evidence, that's emotional thinking desperate to make sense of the conspiracy theory. You should just remember, evidence beats wishful thinking.
I'm really curious what your evidence is, and if your 25 years of research is in fact just beliefs from the movie, Soaked in Bleach. I dare you to respond.
@@rebelo2156 This demand accidently hit me lol There is an interesting little fight under my comment going on... 🙂
Depression is such an insidious, pervasive, all consuming condition!!! 😔 What a terrific analysis Dr. Grande, I really enjoyed hearing your insights on this poor, tortured soul.
Dr. Grande, would you consider doing a similar analysis of the late Amy Winehouse? She was quite troubled, but also very self-aware & introspective!
I'm down for seeing that.
🙌🙌
Mee TOO
Yes, please consider doing an analysis of Amy Winehouse!
Please
Loved how you described depression at the end of the video. It’s hard to explain depression to someone who has not experienced it. Thank you for helping put it into words. Keep doing you Dr Grande.
I love the way you describe depression. Also I would add that every human has basic needs and when they're not being met, depression naturally takes hold.
OMG I can’t believe you did Kurt Cobain!! I couldn’t click fast enough!!!
What a tragic death. There is no mercy with depression and substance use on top of that does not help. Really sad.
I loved this video! While we are here can you make a video on Michael Hutchence? There is a documentary that came out last year called Mystify: Michael Hutchence. I continue to be a huge fan of INXS.😊
Thank you for this video Dr. Grande!❤️
Oh there’s a Michael Hutchins documentary? I’m going to have to find it. My mom was a huge INXS fan when I was really little and she was devastated by his death. As an adult, I’m a fan of INXS when Michael Hutchins was the singer (I think they replaced him at some point if I remember correctly). He had an amazing voice and was very attractive.
Rejane I agree. The songs were brilliant. Very interested
Yes! Mike H. Of Inxs is a fantastic suggestion!
Jim Morrison of The Doors would also be very interesting!
Tʀᴀᴠɪꜱᴛʏ - Yes, Jim Morrison too!😃
He was so obviously bumped off. So much heroin was found in his system he wouldn’t have been able to lift the gun let alone pull the trigger!
That was a really good point about depression, that should be discussed more; it thoroughly warps your reality in a totally devastating way
“Anybody can look at you. It's quite rare to find someone who sees the same world you see.”
― John Green, Turtles All the Way Down
Now imagine having autism with normal or above average IQ.
I love John Green
"Heavier than Heaven" is a great book. It really does show that Kurt Cobain wasn't just depressed. He was seriously seriously unwell, physically and mentally.
I remember I read that book many years ago... I think it was in the year 2017 and I read one third of the book or 150 pages approximately... His luck was so unfortunately.
That book is a bunch of bs! Any true Cobain fan knows it!
@@erikastoncius6560 and what makes you an authority on the subject?
We tend to separate the physical health from the mental health but really they’re both important to each other and part of the same system that is a human being. If you want to feel better mentally take care of your physical body and vice-versa
One of many biographies paid to be written by Courtney Love.
After a sad break up 4 years ago, I seem to have become perpetually depressed. I am functional but get very little joy out of anything. Everything feels like a great big hassle. I don't even enjoy being with people because I feel uptight with most people. It's really a rock and a hard place because I am super lonely but don't want to hang out much-- it's just hard to understand. My brother died 3 months ago. He always picked up the phone and always listened to me and even let me hang up first. That is so hard to replace, in fact, I don't think I'll ever have anybody in my life again that is that tolerant of me. But I keep on jugging along because what else can you do?
Can you do one on Chester bennington
I was looking for this exact comment. Thanks.
I second that.
That would be good
Finally got the comment i was looking for
dia sedih sekali kehilangan sahabatnya Chris Cornell. mungkin dalam artian mereka masing masing punya misi yang sudah diselesaikan. suara perlawanan, perjuangan hidupnya,keluarga mereka sudah lalui. kini mereka telah beristirahat dengan damai.
Great analysis! I especially liked how you touched on the cognitive distortions associated with Kurt Cobain’s depression. Distortions get talked about a lot with personality disorders, but they are present for many people experiencing a depressive episode or persistent depressive disorder as well
You approached this topic so objectively but also with compassion. Thank you Dr. Grande.
For a very long time I thought of my severe stomach pain/chest pain as a mysterious illness and even became addicted to opiates attempting to treat it, though it helped it never truly alleviated the symptoms. It wouldn't be until after an attempted suicide I would receive a prescription for anxiety/generalized anxiety disorder, which was manifest almost entirely in chest and stomach pains of a mysterious origin. For years I went to the ER, thinking I was having a heart attack, thinking I was dying, and eventually ended up taking codeine to help me sleep, and just moved on from there. From a sufferer of anxiety and similar symptoms, I find his complaints very much in line with my own and his behavior was similar. It is possible that if he had proper treatment, he could still be with us. Anxiety is more than just worrying and being nervous, often presenting with near unbearable physical pain, restlessness and insomnia. This case hits a little close to home for me, but your analysis is good and measured. I just discovered your channel, and it's a damn sight better than the majority of would-be mental health channels on YT.
cheers
Thank you for such a thoughtful discussion of depression and substance abuse. I want people to see this video because - from my experience - you describe it so accurately and compassionately. It is a lovely gift to those that have felt this kind of depression. also a gift in that it may help to take the guilt away once depression becomes really just a memory. I’m so grateful and will share this video with friends and family.
I have always been confident in wanting to work as a psychologist. Since studying psychology at uni, I lost some of that spark. However, you really brought back my interest and I feel excited to continue. Thank you and I love the videos 🖤
What made you lose the spark? Curious because I have my bachelors in psych and going into it initially I was excited, but as I progressed through the coursework i found myself less interested. For me it was the lack of emphasis on studying personality/behavior, and a ton of emphasis on research methods (which I know is very important in justifying psychology as a scientific pursuit). But still I wish there was more focus on personality and behavior. Which is why I love Dr Grande’s videos. This channel def sparks my interest back for psych.
Mike Wassef For me it’s a combination of things. Firstly, just so much “dry” content. It’s theories, surnames, and facts that you have to know. Not many subjects looked beyond the text into real life application. I see people from other degrees participating in clinical settings (even brief) but me? 3 years of reading, reading, and memorising. Not much about what interests me either. Lastly, it’s the pressure to do well to continue. My uni doesn’t have many supervisors (for thesis and further studies) so they take the top people. Very stressful 😩
Hope it gets better for us! Probably just have to survive the boring fundamental areas to progress to the interesting content 🤞🏻
I am studying psychology as well and because it is so broad there are lots of areas that we need to study that aren't going to interest us. There is a lot more to psychology than just clinical psychology. But keep going and eventually you will be able to specialise in your area of interest.
Kurt's daughter Frances was named after actress Frances Farmer, another Seattle native who has a song named after her on In Utero.
His affinity towards her was not just that they were artists from the same city, blonde and glamorous, but they both struggled with demons, in Frances' case she was diagnosed with schizophrenia and sectioned on numerous occasions.
I'd like to see a case study on her as well.
Good video, Dr. To my mind, Kurt told the world about himself from the beginning; "I feel contagious and stupid." That's depression in a nutshell. It's why depressed people withdraw, they feel their depression is contagious, somehow. Though they often hold their depression proves they are smarter than most people, not stupid. I know I use to. Not that I could, or would, have articulated it that way back then. Depression, along with an often attendant anxiety, tends to swallow one's words, not just feelings. What I use to wonder back then, wordlessly, you might say, is how feeling so empty, could feel so damn painful.
💚
That is spot on. Depression makes one withdraw, since one feels s/he is a "downer" who would only bring others down.
I am a huge fan of Nirvana and was right from the beginning. It was like meeting my musical soulmate when I heard the lyrics, melody, guitars, drums, everything appealed to me. I realize now that this was because the whole "grunge" movement was about people suffering from depression (which I was diagnosed with a while after Kurt died) so most of the music really hit my heart. As a result I was truly heartbroken when he died. I felt like Cobain could understand me, but I think he was upset because he didn't think most of society would relate to his music and he was upset that society did. Some of that is thinking you are special even if in a bad way and that no one is supposed to understand you. And yes, things like depression can be biological but also relate to your childhood if you felt unloved by parents and society (which I did). I realize now that every single feeling, thought, and issues I have had in life are not unique in that someone else will have experienced the same thing ... not that special like I thought. Of course as most fans know, after we lost Kurt so many other "grunge' or alt rock singers died mostly from overdoses whether intentional or not I don't know. Ah, if only all of them could be like Dave Grohl, now he is unique and special. Depression is a terrible thing, but I still feel guilty for having it because most of my family does not believe or support mental illness. RIP Kurt.
I believe you. Tkanks for your post. Most people don't understand mental illness. I'd like to help, get back to me if you want, RIP Kurt.
F your family, do you. I started doing that and my life is going forwards now ❤
Having two suicides in my immediate family, (gunshots to the head), this explanation of depression & substance use/abuse (i listened to it 4 times) was a highlight of understanding for me. thank you for the clarity.
I experienced depression twice in my life, for days only. I never judge someone who can't take it anymore.
I’m so sorry. Both my Dad and his younger brother died the same way. After my Dad died I realized how many of the risk factors he had.
I am so sorry for the loss of two of your family members.
So very sorry about the loss of your family members. Depression is truly a horrible disease.
Dr. Grande please give your professional opinion about the personality of O J Simpson, and his fakeness/facade he likes to project and thinks people believe.
Yeah that would be a great topic
Sounds like celebrity 101 syndrome.
As lucrative as this channel may be for Dr. Grande as a growing side biz, I hope he doesn’t veer into pulp analysis of weekly celebrities as his main source of videos.
I read OJ's book, If I did It , after it became the property of the Goldman family who was able to receive the profits because they never saw a dime from OJ despite winning a civil wrongful death case and... uh, yeah, I mean, he did it. He murdered Nicole and Ron because he's a jealous, controlling dick. I was relieved when he finally went to jail for unrelated issues because if he got away with murder twice, imagine his ego to get away with it again...
A friend of mine took her own life about two weeks ago. Thank you for the video. It actually helps a bit to understand...
Sorry for your loss
Thank you
Thank you for covering him Dr Grande. l was a teenager when he passed. I liked Kurt's voice and his ability to write great lyrics and great music, their unplugged stuff is my favourite. Him also being able to communicate his pain and life through music. It helped me and really I think he had such talent and I'm sorry he is gone.
So chilling and deeply sad when you so correctly said how depression is a formidable and merciless foe!
Tragic how many people don't get the treatment needed for this condition!
I agree. I’m actually a big fan of Courtney love and Hole and I hate when people say she murdered him. She had lots of opportunities. She could’ve let him OD and not called 911. People like to point out the “lethal dose of heroin in his system. As a former addict I had WAY over the lethal dose in my system daily. It would’ve killed someone with no tolerance. And I imagine as a very wealthy addict, his tolerance was even higher. Was she perfect? No. But imagine having your child’s father kill himself and then have the world blaming you.
Another very thorough and thoughtful analysis. I would love to hear your assessment of Mary Kay Letourneau who just passed away at age 58 from cancer. Thank you so much.
She died??
@@teresahowick5197 Yes, she did. Apparently she was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer (don't know what type) very recently.
She died from colon cancer.
@@sarah2.017 I think she died from colon cancer.
Oh wow this is such a great description of depression. I always struggle to explain it to people... Family and friends try to help but they can't understand why you feel the way you do, and i can understand that because rationally it makes no sense. But knowing that doesn't make it go away, it just makes me feel worse, more of a parasite. :(
Such a sad situation.💔
Good unfolding of the story of his life etc that you did, as usual, thanks for your unique style and efforts in your videos.
Never thought depression was so dangerous! Enlightening video!
I have an inkling that Kurt suffered from borderline personality disorder. Moodiness, volatile moods, abandonment issues, unstable sense of self, drug abuse, love/hate, black and white thinking aka splitting, dependency. He checks every trait down the list.
People with borderline personality disorder are often misdiagnosed as bipolar.
But, he was also actively using drugs for extended periods of time so it's hard to say were his personality ended and the drugs started.
His cousin said he had bipolar. He definitely had it because his overdoses were accidental (very much bipolar, whereas borderline clients do it on purpose for relief) .
Watch dr grandes videos on bipolar vs borderline thoughts. Kurt falls more in the bipolar thoughts.
@@BrendaGarcia-ty2ml Courtney opened up about having thought about having an affair with another man when she was in London, which she didnt, Kurts response was to OD on rohypnol.
"...I'm not, I wasnt as monogamous as he is. I'm a big flirt, so I flirt with chairs, but I never cheated on him, but i certainly thought about it one time in London. And I could have done it and the response to it was... he took 67 Rohypnols and ended up in a coma because I thought about cheating..."
-Courtney Love, Montage of Heck.
That doesnt sound very accidental to me. He even left a note. Alot of Kurts behavior seemed very reactionary, which is sort of uncharacteristic of bipolar disorder (not to say that people with bipolar disorder cant become upset about negative events, but their episodes tends to come about without much external triggers)
The kicker here is that nobody seems to have ever observed Kurt in either a manic or hypomanic state, nor has he ever been hospitalizes or recieved treatment for one. A manic/hypomanic episode is a requisite for a bipolar diagnosis.
Peoples understanding of Bipolar back in the 80s/90s was "A person who's moods fluctuate alot." so I can understand why many would label him as one, but as far as I know, he was never diagnosed with it by a health professional. Nor I have never found any credible source for such a claim.
@@Massivecarcrash I saw this documentary! And that still sounded like a bipolar/mood disorder impulsive action to me, like when Van Gogh (who people believe had a mood disorder) cut his ear just because his roomate didn’t want to be his roomate anymore. Bipolar is more complicated than just mania/depressed (I have it) Kurt gives me more dysphoric bipolar. I saw another comment about how another one of his overdoses was accidental. But I get you! This is a complicated case, and it’s possible he had both too. But what you point to is also very borderline behavior.
I appreciate the analysis of a musician, Dr. Grande. There's a lot there to unpack. Their lives are often very publicized, so we can see some of what contributed to who they are/were. I agree with the suggestion of Chris Cornell, but also Chester Bennington, anybody in the infamous "27 club", Tupac, and The Notorious B.I.G..
Jeff Pincin I 2nd Chris and Chester. Such tragic losses
@@colintorrey1442 Open your eyes and see the world how it really is
@@willduke32 you mean start believing in all the conspiracy theory bullshit you do?
I live 30 min from Aberdeen, Wa. A great documentary about the circumstances surrounding his death is “Soaked in Bleach.” It presents a different perspective. Kurt was an artistic and emotional modern day woke musical poet. He would be 52 today. Gone way too soon. RIP Kurt
Thank you. Going to watch Soaked in Bleach right now on Amazon Prime.
I watched that. I just don't think Courtney Love was smart enough to plan his death, and his depression was well documented.
Very interesting and well made documentary. They say the truth always comes out eventually.
What did you think of John Potash's book on Kurt & Courtney
Soaked in Bleach is an exploitation movie masquerading as a documentary. It uses mood music and staged performances in order to appeal to your emotions... The basis of its claims are not founded on evidence but are merely conspiracy theory. And no one who was close to Kurt believes he didn't kill himself. I miss him and I know it's hard to accept, but imagining he wouldn't do that in order to make us feel better is irresponsible wishful thinking. If you care about being objective and correct, don't just give into confirmation bias by seeking out conspiracy movies or info that supports what you want to believe... also have the courage to look up information that can disprove what you want to believe... search "Soaked in Bleach controversy," "Tom Grant credibility," "are no liftable fingerprints on guns common," "Carole Chaski suicide note verdict Cobain," "Cobain previous suicide attempt" and see where the evidence takes you... I dare you to respect your mind enough to do this. Take care.
Who else wonders when he’s going to finish his project in the background?
LOL
😂
Dr. Grande, you used the phrase ”Depression distorted reality.” That explains volumes of someone who reaches the point of taking their own life 😢 Seeking professional help is crucial!
You made me cry. I have battled depression all my life. It is a formidable and merciless foe.
This too shall pass.
Thank you Dr Grande. Your presentation of each topic is always clear and not crowded with confusing content.
Kudos on how clearly and concisely you are able to present the facts, Dr. Grande. These are definitely one of the many lessons I‘ve learned from watching your videos.
I think the undiagnosed stomach problems that were quickly referenced in this video contributed a great deal to Kurt Cobain being the way he was, maybe more than many people realize. I remember at some point, he said something to the effect that being a world-famous musician was nice and all, but what he really wanted was for somebody to name a stomach ailment after him. Or in other words, figure out what was going wrong with his gut and fix it.
There’s an autoimmune condition out there that’s one of the most misdiagnosed conditions that causes stomach problems that can lead to life threatening consequences if left untreated. It’s called celiac disease and I have it and I know from what I’ve read and from my own experience that if someone with celiac continues to trigger the condition by eating gluten, it can lead to devastating consequences both for physical and mental health. I know from my own experience that when I accidentally eat something with gluten in it, it causes physical symptoms like a bad case of food poisoning and it leaves me feeling hair-trigger hypersensitive, moody, irritable and depressed.
I have often wondered if Kurt Cobain suffered with undiagnosed celiac disease for all of his too short life. I’m not saying that if he had this condition and if he had been put on a gluten-free diet that all of his problems would have been solved... but maybe some of them would have been.
I read he was poor he consumed vast amounts of cough medicine to get a high. I wonder if that contributed to his stomach problems
@sabbracadabra yea I agree. I'm not sure that the extent of Kurt's "stomach ailment" was but heroin addicts are famous for making up medical conditions and using them as an excuse to take more drugs.
His stomach pain was gone
Dr. G, I really feel the part, when Kurt says that loving to much is too painful :( 💖
This was extremely well done... I've been waiting for so long for someone to actually to make this and cover in a medical standpoint of Kurt Cobain since I've always struck a note with him farther than his angst in a sense
You can get a lot of subscribers if you keep this up with other famous people like Jim Morrison.
Depression = The great social equalizer. “...a merciless foe that takes a great deal of energy to combat it” Sometimes you just run out of energy...
I’m a huge Kurt Cobain and nirvana fan and have been since age 13 (I’m 38).
Same! (am 37)
I am SO HAPPY to be here so early for this! When I saw the notification for Dr. Todd and Kurt I couldn't get here fast enough. I'm 33 a d have loved Kurt since I was a child. I was young but I remember his passing. Theres a lot more to it, but as I got older and thru my experiences I was able to relate to him and his music on such a spiritual level. I had idolized this man. My AIM screen name in middle school and high school was KurtCisGod69 (2edgy4me, I know). I was convinced for years that I would be party of that club 27 myself, at the oldest. I got clean years ago, and I just wish he had had the what he needed when he needed it most.
Sorry for long rant but I want to thank you for doing this. Great video. As soon as I am back to work full time again I will be jumping on Patreon for you.
Something odd I’ve noticed about Kurt that I didn’t notice before, he doesn’t get nervous. Not in even in one interview or appearance. Joy and stress are weirdly related, I can now see why he wasn’t wired for happiness…I’m no psychologist but it’s just a mere observation, to have a missing emotion is just a red flag, he was always very deep or just sarcastic, serious, winey, analytical, dissociated, interested or not at all, a true pieces Too
"Lesson learned" segment is highly appreciated.
With depression, there is no such thing as past, current, and possible future accomplishments. He “made it” and still felt shitty. I think this is key: you really achieved remarkable success, and it means nothing. That is the specter of depression. Very interesting: Thank you.
He had BPD
Thanks, Dr. Grande, for this analysis of the late Kurt Cobain and how in-depth your character study on him is. Loved Nirvana. Depression combined with addiction is a time bomb, as I know from my own experience (clean & sober many years now but still dealing with depression despite meds and counseling). Some of us draw genes predisposing us to certain conditions, and our environment can help shape certain outcomes. Nature + nurture. Learning a lot from you, keep up the good work, you're a breath of fresh air in these times we're living in.
Please please please do Elliot Smith! Like this comment if you agree so Dr Grande sees 🙋🏻♀️🥰
But Elliot Smith was murdered by his girlfriend. Probably should investigate HER mental health, no?
@@KindMeg His death was deemed inconclusive, not murder.
David Copson I could care less if the corrupt authorities “deemed (it) inconclusive” because the truth is that he was murdered! Get me?
Annabel Igoe yes!! It would be so interesting!
CellarDoor33 what’s interesting is that his girlfriend was a mental health professional! She was an art therapist. I’d love to hear Dr. Grande’s thoughts on that situation.
Just shows how devastating divorce is for children.
As someone who has a past history of both depression and suicide attempts I can tell you that you can be in a crowded room with everyone who loves you let still be alone. I recall a Dr who was reviewing me after my 72 hour hold tell me that she, nor anyone else, could stop me from ending my life but that removing me from society and the freedom associated with my ability to disappear on my own, that I could have time to reflect on what I REALLY wanted to do. I just knew that I was supposed to stay alive after that time and I recovered. But I very much did not want to continue with my life and it's challenges before I was scheduled and I have enormous sympathy for those people who do end their lives Kurt Cobain included. I'm glad that Francis has now lived longer than her father and I hope she enjoys every day! Thank you Dr G. You were very sensitive with this material and I hope it has been helpful for many people out there.
Kurt C. was one of those tortured artists. He had so much talent. His band, his art but if your depressed ( I know ) it's hard to enjoy life.
He did enjoy life until it was ended by Courtney love
I recently found your channel and I love your content!!
This video hits home for me. My father took his life as well so it is some how therapeutic to hear your "reasoning" as to why people do what they do!!
Nirvana has been my favorite band since I was a kid. I’ve always thought of Kurt as a talented man, but very troubled.
Not as troubled as Courtney
@@willduke32 💯!
Love that you mentioned about depression as negating any positive, as someone who suffers mental health issues and been to treatment center and currently work in healthcare. It is hard to battle black and white thinking and categorical mistakes. The distortion of reality is a great point, because the world is different from the self. When you say things like the world is bad, you can’t make judgments for the whole world, maybe your world is bad but not everyone else’s. Great video doc
Kurt said he had a good life before his parents' divorce at age 7. After the divorce, Kurt lost himself and had no identity. Imagine how he would have been if his parents did not divorce? His life coexistenced around his family, and he experienced consistent trauma when he was kicked out of his mother's and father's home. Also, he felt lost when his father remarried as other children came into the picture and he was ignored. His depression and acting out started early as he felt alone and that no one understood him as he did not understand himself. He did not receive the parenting he needed as a child, but he was forced to live a transit lifestyle between his mother and father home and at times he lived under a bridge to escape the pain of feeling unwanted. Kurt's depression and severe stomach started at a early age and the pain affected his life. He was always in pain and there were times before his performances, Kurt was bent over or laying on the floor in a fetal position, because of the pain. Story is that his stomach condition started when he was a teenager and that the reason he started using hard drugs was to manage his pain. In time, I believe doctors found out what was causing his stomach pain.
Do Chris Cornell please 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻
Please don't.
@Char Sui Not sure who you're thinking of, but that's not Chris Cornell. Chris Cornell is a singer/song writer, most famously from the band Soundgarden.
We are going from serial killers to rock stars!
@Char Sui I'm not certain about the Clinton foundation part but I know that he was getting ready to expose the child sex trafficking being done within political circles. Same thing with Chester Bennington. Rumors described both "suicides" as being victims of "Arkenside"
Please don't.
There's Nothing To Say. He staged his death and is chillin' on a beautiful secluded beach in Culebra.
(It works for me ok.)
I wonder what you could present on Brian Wilson. There’s so much about him concerning mental health to discuss. I think he might have Asperger’s even (but I’m not diagnosing, just speculating..). But he is witness of psychedelic-induced psychosis, side effects of psychotic drugs (he might have developed tardive dyskinesia), victim of an abusive and narcissistic father, victim of a control freak and quack of a “psycholgist” (Landy), he is a musical genius... I feel the anti-psychotic drugs he had to take under the control of Landy ruined greatly his health. But were they worse than the illicit drug abuse? And then, after all the trials and tribulations he stayed a sweet and humble gentleman, still making music. Yes, I think a video about Brian Wilson with your insights would be very interesting.
Dr Grande, in this context, please do an analysis on Layne Staley. He opened my eyes to the field of mental health struggles and addiction, and his lyricsare the most haunting, his backstory and the end of his life in 2002 are the most crushing of any musician. Its safe to say that thanks to Layne I discovered your channel, eager to try to understand him more. He is so sorely missed 😢
He did not hear your wish! Layne deserves an analyse ,he was a genius too!
It’s interesting because this sounds like me. I can be depressed, have guilt, and often think I’m a narcissist when my professional therapist says I’m not. When I’m in public, I’ll try to focus on acting extra kind so people are not offend, and to keep myself in check.
Depression is like a big black dog, never letting you go, being with you all the time.
A heavy big black dog. No matter how hard you're trying to lift it up, it's too heavy.
No matter how much you're trying to enjoy something, it will always breath heavily on your neck.