As an autistic person, I wouldn't mind if someone straight up said "Hey I've noticed this, this, and this about you. Are you autistic?" but 1.he used it to insult her and 2.he got craaaaazy!!!
There’s definitely a respectful question that is knowledgeable about Autism and is also both aware that trauma responses; cultural differences in when and how eye contact, the distances people stand in conversational groups, and so on; energy levels, etc to infinity can all overlap on the Venn diagram of human behavior that what you saw wasn’t Autism. And while the asker’s sibling who is an Autist who is hopefully someone who is living a fairly independent life with friends (rather than a nonverbal person or someone who masked away all signs so the person being asked should do that…) could render you a safe person, maybe even a “okay if the night gets random and I am feeling shutdown start, speaking is a struggle, whatever, there’s now one more person in the group who might (know to switch to questions with one word answers, ensure I’m given the minute in the quietest corner I asked for, claim a mild headache could the music be turned down…)” But honest and respectful knowledge of one condition doesn’t give you access to everyone’s diagnosis, or history, or reasons for their simple quirks/ways of being. And sometimes we’ve just met 5 too many Autism Moms this week (their peeps are mentally 5 and always will be (physically 6.5 and they cannot know that, or ABAed into full time masking) to not put on our armor when anyone who didn’t say a close approximation of “hey, I’m Autistic and my neurodivergent-dar is pinging on you”
Same, I mostly just tell people that try to get closer to me. But it seems she had every reason to stay faaaar away from this lad. Good intuition 😊 I also observe people untill I feel comfy
In my experience, people with mental disabilities just eventually tell me. What's wrong with waiting...? Oh, right. He wants to know if there is something "wrong with her" so that he can stop pursuing her. She is not involved in this at all.
As an autistic adult woman here is a small guide: it is NOT typically seen as offensive to ask somebody if they are autistic in order to better accommodate them during hangouts together. (ex: “are the bright lights bothering you?” “Do you prefer subtitles or no subtitles on tv?” “Hey I got some of your safe foods/ snacks to keep in the kitchen for when you visit!”) It IS very offensive to ask if they are autistic only because they aren’t attracted to you. Like dude wtf 😂😂
Wait, is sensitivity to bright lights (and annoying beeping noises) an autism thing? Who here hates driving at night (or even being outside at night) because of all the freaking lights that are way too bright!?!!?
@@crystalgemgirl731 She did and they all told him he was insane and to never speak to her again. She deleted her account, so I can't confirm the stalking part.
Not to mention the way that people internalise the use of this insult and take the premise that being "autistic" is a bad thing at face value. I kind of hate that this comment is overshadowed by comments from allistic people doing exactly that.
That girl has good intuition. Avoiding eye contact, physically moving away from him, that's because intuition told her he was a predator. And he proved her right. She handled that exchange like a queen.
As an grown man I was proud of this girl for laying it out pretty clear without going out of her way to bash or provoke this fucked up narcissist. He refused to take a hint irl, so he clumsily tried to manipulate her alone through text and she saw through that, he still couldnt take a hint (or multiple direct statements) and got increasingly crazy & obsessive about it, and she kept her cool, handled him, and ultimately the situation. Unfortunately guys like this can still be dangerous, but he would have been MUCH MORE dangerous if she had relented just to appease him despite not liking him and gave him a reason to feel possessive.
What fucking predator 😂 It's usually guys like that who run with their tails between their legs, when you show them who's boss. There all bark and no bite.
@@mediumvillain Completely dangerous. That’s more than narcissistic. Especially with the projection of “trying to teach him some sort of lesson.” Psychopath alert. 🚨 That’s how HE thinks, and he laid it all right out there.
That guy sounds like one of those men who claim that "nice guys finish last and he's a nice guy". In my experience of almost 50 years, the guys that claim to be nice are rarely nice people.
What did it for me was the "I really like you" followed by a list of what he like about her body. Couldn't even list a single thing about her as a person.
See, I'm willing to bet that this brilliant woman could smell his BS from the second he showed up in the friend group and that's why she gave him a wide berth. Narcissists can't STAND it when someone pegs them right off the bat and don't fall for their charm.
I think that's very likely, based on how secure she comes across no matter what he throws at her. So she has two things narcs can't stand: not falling for their bs and she's secure in herself.
I find it right our SCARY when someobe would send me selfindulgent walls of text like this who i did not at least have a VERY nice talk the other evening. I hope this giy just got right out blocked and she told his scary behaviour to the other people in the friends group.
I find it weird that I have some kind of radar that just goes "nuh uh this person weird and I dunno why". I have had some fights with an online friend about it, because I had this "nuh uh" feeling with one of her friends.. yeah lets just say the "nuh uh" person actually betrayed them and raided my friends youtube channel because she couldnt take a joke... I like my "nuh uh" radar
that also explains the autistic comments - its really common for narcissists to absolutely HATE us bc they can’t read us, yet we can sometimes read them, its very unsettling for them
Autism isn’t a mental disorder. It’s neurodevelopmental disorder. It can be a disability but it’s not a mental illness. Using it as an insult is just one more way this is toxic.
Ikr..I'm autistic(and introverted) and I find that pretty offensive, as people with that disorder find it hard to socialize generally, least in my and others' I know experience, and/or even pick up on social cues. I find it even more offensive that people insult the disorder. Not saying that you or anyone here is except the terrible flirter in the video, but I just see it everywhere at times..it's tiring.
I've learned to cope. When someone asks "what's wrong with you?" Say "a lot of shit." I love the dumb little look they get when I'm not offended by their micro aggressions.
@@K3NN3DY_101 yeah I feel that. I have dyslexia and I've had people assume I can't read at all and unfortunately I had teachers bully me for this disability. I've also seen a friend of mine with autism picked on as well.
3:11 Or she is kind of getting a bad and uncomfortable vibe from him. I haven't even met him, and my skin is crawling like ants on an abandoned sandwich.
This guy essentially said "you don't act the way i think women should act when they interact with me, because i'm so awesome and handsome and cool, therefore there is something wrong with your brain."
Exactly. It's like he's never met a sane woman before. Or else has assumed that every woman who has ever so much as looked at him was doing so with total admiration.
@@rae9518I’m sure the other women are sane too and just smiling and laughing (at his jokes) to avoid the shit show they know would happen if they didn’t.
The guy is a narcissist...notice how he just cant believe she isn't interested in him? His ego demands that there has to be something wrong with her because he can't accept that he's the problem.
100% my thoughts aswell. He's not able to read the situation at all or self reflect, his reality is so warped. Also not understanding boundaries or at least not respecting them is another thing, this girl had to bring up consent. He also did show his ego when even at the dinner he was like "do you not like me?", that's not normal. According to another comment there were updates and where she said the guy started stalking her and said "stop playing hard to get". After baby reindeer I'm aware that it's not unusual for narcissists to stalk. I used to assume their ego wouldn't let them stoop that low, but I was so wrong and realize it makes sense actually. This guy is like a text book example.
please don't use narcissistic like that, it impacts people w npd due to strengthening the stereotype that if it has "narcissistic" in the name it automatically means "abuser/pos/etc" meanwhile a ton of them are fully self aware about their disorder and already suffer immensely despite being a nice person in their essence; other than that yeah you're right
I once had a guy tell me I must be bi-polar after going on 2 dates with him and then deciding I wasn't interested or attracted to him at all. I literally never texted back after he said that. Some guys get so butthurt when they realize not everyone wants to be in a relationship with them.
That is the saddest..he isn't interested in her and doesn't like or respect her. Nothing sincere here. He just wants to feed his ego and needs to "win"..and doesn't care how far it goes. Funnily or not, his obsessive behavior makes him seem like he has OCD or worse just an entitled asshole
I went on a date once with a guy who was really animated with his hands when he talked and would hit me on the arm to emphasize a point or to 'include' me on a comment. I understood it was part of his talking style but I find even the lightest tap extremely painful (years later I was diagnosed with a chronic pain condition) so I asked him to stop doing it but he wouldn't. I didn't go out with him again after that because I suspected if he wouldn't stop his his body language 'playful' hitting after I asked him to stop, he was likely masking some serious hitting too if I continued on seeing him.
Yes! Thank you! I hate it. Don't act like you know me! It's to the point that I use other people's names as infrequently as possible when conversing with them, even if I DO know them well.
I encountered a guy like this when I was dating. Fat, middle aged and low earning man who tried to neg me at every turn but still somehow thought he was charming. Told me I had a very pretty face, but needed to lose some weight (he was fatter). Insulted my intelligence, my home, basically everything BUT WOULDN'T STOP MESSAGING ME. He started stalking me too. The best insult was "You have no respect for men" because I wouldn't take his insults and BS. I countered with "No, I just have no respect for YOU" He ligit couldn't understand why, because he thought he bwas gods gift 😂 Note: he had to go overseas to find a submissive mail order bride.... who left him 😂
Also, using ones name to make them more comfortable only works when the conversation is already positive. The way he was using it made her seem more like a target than a potential partner.
Yup. When the conversation isn’t positive it’s a surefire way to cause discomfort. Which is why I almost never use people’s names. It prevents the conversation from going in a creepy direction just in case it’s not actually positive.
I was told by an Uber driver I looked like I'd have beautiful mixed race babies as he made direct eye contact with me in the rear view mirror (yes we were different races)
Yeah that’s something they used to say to us as kids like it was completely normal. Wasn’t even from dudes. Like women would say that to us. I remember my grandmother saying it about me when I was like 9.
I love what you do. The red flag warnings are so so important in teaching people what to look for. And the green flag videos just warm my heart. You're obviously a kind and thoughtful person, and your girlfriend is so lucky to have you. I bought some of your merch today because I couldn't wait to be in support of your channel.
-and some of us get progressively more creeped out, (and MORE guarded) the more a stranger uses our name. It's like, "we are NOT close enough for you to be so familiar!"
The last update, which was this past week or two, that I am aware of proves how scary this guy actually is. He made a comment about her going to the police, which means she reported him and he STILL won’t leave her alone!!!! He even knows she continues to post his messages for the world to see. He just doesn’t give an ‘f’ and thinks his actions are normal. He’s not going to leave her alone and I worry about her safety
TH-cam has been recommending me police body cam videos and there are compilations of guys like this one; they don't care if the cops and the whole world are telling them to leave the woman alone.
I believe it. I tried to let a guy down easy & it turned into 2 yrs of absolute nonsense. My biz info ended up on 2 escort sites which was used to fuel local rumors, he started out stalking me, then had others stalking & harrassing me, ppl yelling obscenities & slurs driving past my house, psycho texts & threats, random dudes wandering up trying to solicit me. Cops wouldn't do anything regardless of the amount of screenshots, pics & vid evidence I had collected.
i thought at the start that maybe he asked her if she is autistic, if he was autistic himself, cause it can help knowing if it's more likely that they can communicate like yourself BUT after a few messages it became so clear that he was saying it because he thought something was wrong with her because he thought he is such a great catch and soooo interesting and irresistable that no one would ever not want to be with him unless he considers them "sick"...and then offering to help? jesus man, that's some massive complex right there.
And saying, “Is this a trauma response-?” I hate how the dark trait people are going to therapy now just to learn to better manipulate and attack us all 😂
yeah I was willing to give him a chance thinking maybe he recognized signs in himself and was trying to connect and was just being open about it without games...but no narcassistic stalker who doesnt accept no thanks means no.
This guy has been studying pick up art. The god awful formulas are all over what he's doing. The putting down, telling her she's mentally compromised for not wanting him, telling her what a high value guy he is, the comparing her to his exes height to make her insecure and want to find a way to impress him. It's textbook terrible, straight from the book. Plus, yaknow, his personal brand of severe loser.
I thought he came off as a bit of a narcissist. Started out nice, but then got nasty as soon as it was clear that she wasn't gonna take the bait, and then suddenly switched it up to "love bomb" her
This is terrifying. I've met people who actually talk like this when they get regected. My ex was trying to get me back when the last argument we had was about how he was settling for me and that he can do better. I let him go to go get better and yet there he was. Telling me that I was the best thing blah blah blah. I rejected him and the next day he posted the most misogynistic shit I've ever seen. "Women need to go back to the kitchen" type of stuff. He was a peach. Edit: he was my high school sweetheart.
Thats scary, good to hear you managed to get rid of him. I also had an ex who i was strong enough to leave after years of putting me down. In the last argument he tried to start, literally the night before i moved out, he asked: are you still moving out or have you come to your senses already? Haha. Wtf. He also later wanted to meed up and told me, HE thought we should get back together because it's the best for me. Hoestly, i am still recovering fron that, its now been 4 years, and even when i dated other guys in between, i again and again realized how much he broke inside of me. but i have gotten much better. Be careful and look out for each other. ❤
He's still single too, right? 😂 My ex fiance went wild that way. I left. He said he could do better and I wasn't grateful enough. I haven't dated anyone since, but he's had a string of girlfriends where every.single.one. has broken up with him because he's "mean and self-centered". Gosh Brad. You know, maybe after the 8th woman saying the exact same thing, you might wanna look into that 😂 (still hang out with his littlest sister who is like family to me and who lives a mile away. Only reason I know that stuff.)
Guys switching on the spot even in the street, from "Hey, beautiful" to "Nobody would want to f**k an ugly c*nt like you ever, anyway" after rejection, is so normal you almost learn to expect it. But his unlimited self-praise is over and beyond.
"Wears sunglasses indoors, boat shoes, and works for his dad" YES 100% correct description. Literally, I must have met this same dude, he looked and acted just like the red flag guy in the story.
8:16 - this reminded me of the time I matched with a guy and he was on about how weird it was that I don't smile with my teeth and legit wanted me to send a pic OF MY TEETH to prove I had all of them. He didn't get what I meant when I told him he wasn't buying a horse he didn't need to check my teeth 😂
The "I love so many things about you. Genuienly. I love you as a friend, and I love you as a person, " right right after paragraphs' worth of messages doing nothing but berating and insulting her is what did it for me LMAO How do you go from "There's something wrong with you" to "I like you" in such a short amount of time
People who repeat my name a lot creep me out and piss me off. It just feels manipulative. Saying my name that much feels like something that belongs only to the people who know me best.
A guy that I was initially interested in saw me have an interaction with a little boy visiting the nature center where I worked and asked me the same thing. I had dinosaur stickers on a storage box and he asked about it. So I asked him which Dino was his favorite and told him mine and that he should get his dad to take him to a new specific museum near us that had just gotten an new Dino exhibit. Later we're in his truck driving and he says what's with all the dinosaur stuff. I said I like them, always have. I'm a science person, it comes with the territory. He doesn't say anything for a bit and then says are you autistic or something? Umm what?!?? No I'm not, that I know of anyway. He says we'll you must be because adults, especially adult women, shouldn't be interested in dinosaurs. Anyway, that was the moment I knew we were on different intellectual levels and I get away from that asap. All because I was friendly to a little boy who asked about my dinosaur stickers.
You dodged a very large bullet there! That guy is so far from your level that he might as well be on another planet. (60 year old woman here - who still loves dinosaurs and going to Dinosaur National Monument is still my favorite vacation!) Hold out until you find someone who either shares your passion or, at the very least, respects it!
I like ankylosaurus the best since they look like spikey little tanks with maces on their tails. I guess I shouldn't like dinosaurs, either, because I'm 58. 🙄🤣
wow. did you ask him what his favorite dinosuar was? the adult? cuz i dont trust/believe adults who dont have one (unless its cuz there are too many awesome ones to pick)
The "why do you hug *blank* and *blank* but not ME?" Gave me fucking psychic damage. I knew a lot of guys that were like that and got asked that so many times to the point i had to just be blunt and say "because they're my friend and youre not". That usually got them to stop (after a little bit of crying about how much of a bitch i am, anyway).
Yeah that name rhing is a tactic that manipulative and abusive people often use, especially when they are trying ro force a sense of intimacy -- and obligation -- early in the relationship. Obviously it's not only used by bad people for bad reasons but it is a manipulative tool so it's good to be aware of.
Telling her about his exes and who he spends night with and insulting her and perving on her 😂. At least he told her who he was Not that she wanted to know though.. but confirmed he is real crazy and disappointing, she done right thing staying away
@@syncopatedglory I saw a story on that. Urban dollar stores and rural or suburban ones are not the same. I had a conversation with a friend about this factor about 7/11s
As someone with diagnosed anxiety, depression, PTSD, and ADHD, talking to new people is EXTREMELY taxing, and I can't make eye contact until I get to know you. The amount of times I've been insulted by random people or been made uncomfortable by those who don't understand personal space- hoo. I'd be running to the hills to get away from this guy.
and seeing how he ended up being, she probably had some uncomfy vibes right away..or at the very least just not matching her energy/ boundaries like too pushy.
'autistic'? Nah bro she's sending you every signal thats shes uncomfortable with you and would prefer if you stopped, but knows better than to say it straight out because THIS is the kind of reaction she'll get.
She is so fortunate to have those texts to show her friends and for them to back her up. I've seen times when a guy gets creepy only to the woman and treats the woman's friends well. So, her friends just can't believe that he is a creep.
I have NO idea how I’m just finding you “red flag guy” but I laughed SO hard through your last few videos AND you taught me something about why men use my name so much when they aren’t getting anywhere with me LOL. Thanks so much. You are so awesome❤!
I am a very quiet "woman". (ENBY but femme presenting) Men think their competition is with other men, but no, it's with my peace and quiet. And I can guarantee no man will be better than my own peace and quiet.
I’m fascinated that he thought he could get away with this when they were in the same friend group. Zero expectation she would immediately show the texts to the people they know
06:00 'the more you say someone's name the more comfortable they are with you?" Hell no, especially if it is someone I barely know. My family and close friends rarely use first names unless they are trying to get that person's attention. A stranger rolling up and thinking the way to get a positive response is to blitz attack with my first name? No response and block the number. Ick
This is so unhinged. Like I'm friendlier with other people because i know them and have had the time to feel comfortable with them. I'm not going to go out of my way to have a conversation with you because why would i go out of my way for anything if it makes me uncomfortable. This dude's ego is out of control , this is a jail sentence waiting to happen
Introvert here. I find it uncomfortable when someone I don't know, or know well, uses my first name. I know it's a sales tactic to either remember a name you've just learned, or as that psychologist said a tactic to put someone at ease. The repetition would make my skin crawl. Also, after the first time someone cussed at (not used in conversation cuz I enjoy colorful language) me would have me block them. Maybe a "I don't find being sworn at endearing. Do not contact me again." Then block.
Same or when they instantly give you a nickname. Like everyone calls me Jenny but they insist on Jen. It just feels weird and overly familiar especially as I need time to feel comfortable around new people
imma be real, in my experience, people like this, well, let's put it this way-- they have a physical learning style; they need their new information reinforced with a two by four.
A guy on Snapchat kept asking me about my sex life, specifically my sex life as a teenager and my "self play times" when i was w preteen. I was in a relationship at the time and he knew that, yet kept asking those invasive questions and trying to flirt with me. At one point i just told him straight up that i found his behavior creepy and that even if i wasn't dating someone he wasn't my type. He just started saying that i have bad taste and that he actually "never said he liked me". I just blocked him. Moral of the story: don't ask a girl what her sex life is like as a minor and don't try to seduce women who are in a relationship. It's really creepy.
As someone who’s on the spectrum I don’t really like it when people ask me if I’m autistic. My experience when it’s someone I don’t know very well is to undermine my intelligence and I really don’t like that. Most of my friends have never asked me but figured it out and were just waiting for me to feel comfortable to tell them
My autistic friends didnt ask if I was because they assumed I knew. I was told that I needed to get tested via a friend asking for advice about the test because they thought Id already been diagnosed and then when I mentioned it like "omg thats so crazy" to another autistic friend, they literally said "YOU HAVENT BEEN? I THOUGHT YOU KNEW!" - an honorary autistic on the path to getting my degree XD
This is not really about mental health. Why are you trying to take this dude seriously and justify yourself? He was just insulting because he is a misogynist, they don't care for explanation and logic.
Ive learned that people you never thought would like you or be attracted to you really respond no not being rushed or pressured. It's crazy how well it works actually.
I had a guy hate me because I didn’t go out if my way to talk to him. I didn’t even remember wtf he was…lmao. Why are narcissists like that? If u don’t talk to them, u must hate them…
Back when I was an undergrad in college, a classmate approached me and told me how everyone in class thought I was stuck up and acted like I was superior to them bc I didn't really talk to any of them. I was honestly just really shy. And after that classmate's comment I became shy AND hyper self conscious. He then went on to say how he had defended me. And I was like "oh, okay." I was at a local community College. Barely made friends because I was so shy. And shocker, when I transferred to a 4 year university, I was still shy and barely made friends. Didn't have a single friend I even spoke to outside of the situational aspect of the particular classroom (or by extension a group project of said course). So nope, not stuck-up, I just am extremely shy.
Ngl someone saying my name repeatedly would just make me feel extremely threatened lmao Even my fiance only calls my name when she needs to get my attention because I'm distracted
Narcissist 101. This man is legitimately unhinged and needs professional help. I saw somewhere that there was another update and things got worse. I really hope that girls and her friends are safe away from him because he’s definitely a red potentially very dangerous flag.
I won't make eye contact with people I genuinely think are threatening, so... He's seeing the signals that his behavior is a problem, and totally misinterpreting them. 0% self awareness. Rather terrifying.
The name repetition bit had me looking this up, because I had (have? in therapy rn) a trauma bond with a guy who'd use my name a lot in conversation. One result was, "What does it mean when a guy says your name a lot over text? One of the texting habits of a guy who likes you is that he frequently uses your name in texts. If that is the case, it's likely a clear indication that he likes you and wants to make you feel special." But... considering the gas lighting & lies & secrets.... yeah, a red flag huh. 😅 Thank you. I think this bit especially has helped me in the healing journey. Also the running with the flag is just amazing. 😆 Cheers from Finland 🎉
That makes absolutely no sense to me and would irritate me to no end! 🤣 Why would you keep repeating my name over and over again in a text, when you already know my freaking name and I for dang sure; know my own name? I don’t need anyone to keep saying it! I’m ending the conversation, for good! 🤣
I'm also from Finland, and I'm convinced that the Finnish culture has one function for saying someone's name: identification/clarification when in a group of three or more people. You never say the other person's name in a conversation that is being had between two people. Saying the other person's name feels belittling to them. It can also feel manipulative.
@@BeeWhistlerexactly. I think we should normalize using last names until a closer relationship is established. It's just so weird hearing my name when they're a complete stranger and I have a hard time saying stranger's names because it seems impolite
Narcissistic ego maniac!! Rejection makes them lose their minds. I know this from first-hand experience within my own family. How can they control you if you don't fall under their spell?! People don't seem to realize that a lot of introverts are empaths as well. She obviously read him early on and tried to steer clear of him. She handled him very very well! Kudos ❤
Im autistic AND quiet. it's quite frustrating with interactions i get with new people because im quite reserved, and i only like spending time with one best friend. Like, when i have to talk to others, i get the basic -Why dont you talk? - You look rude -talk to me -look at me -why arent you smiling. All that stuff, people like this guy clearly took the words " you're so handsome you'll get all the ladies " from grandma *seriously* when he was a kid 💀 if i dont talk to you, that means im *not* interested. Im surprised people cant grasp that Oh yeah, this is why it's hard for me to date because Jesus, the comments I get, bro. I want someone, but then there's ppl like this
I personally wouldn't be offended by being asked if I'm autistic but that's because I probably already told them somewhere in the convo. I advocate through complete transparency to help normalize things because I'm disabled and can't do much else and don't understand social boundaries so it's hard to offend me with a legitimate question. But even I was able to read the subtext way before he asked her of Do Not Want, Go Away. That being said, some people that are neurodivergent would rather remain closeted. You can put out signs to show you're a safe space but they get to decide if they tell you.
I feel 100% sure that bro will be served a restraining order vvveeerrryyy soon. ::internal tidal wave of an eye roll:: Your "trilogy" comment slayed me. I'm dead. 💀😅
So, he's just decided in his mind that she will date him and then gets angry when his decision hits the reality. "What's wrong with you?" together with "you have tasty lips for sure" is one of the weirdest reactions to someone else's lack of interest in you. Damn, he's a future client of court.
"Why don't you laugh at my jokes?" You're not funny. "You're jealous I went home with X and Y and you went home alone." If you went home with them, why are you texting this girl? "I'm everything you want in a guy." You fucking wish. "You make me want to be a daddy." You make me want to call the cops. I'm glad the whole friend group wised up and dropped him.
As an autistic person, I wouldn't mind if someone straight up said "Hey I've noticed this, this, and this about you. Are you autistic?" but 1.he used it to insult her and 2.he got craaaaazy!!!
True! Like I wouldn't mind if someone asked me that, but in the way HE did, then basically insult the disorder? No sir.
There’s definitely a respectful question that is knowledgeable about Autism and is also both aware that trauma responses; cultural differences in when and how eye contact, the distances people stand in conversational groups, and so on; energy levels, etc to infinity can all overlap on the Venn diagram of human behavior that what you saw wasn’t Autism. And while the asker’s sibling who is an Autist who is hopefully someone who is living a fairly independent life with friends (rather than a nonverbal person or someone who masked away all signs so the person being asked should do that…) could render you a safe person, maybe even a “okay if the night gets random and I am feeling shutdown start, speaking is a struggle, whatever, there’s now one more person in the group who might (know to switch to questions with one word answers, ensure I’m given the minute in the quietest corner I asked for, claim a mild headache could the music be turned down…)”
But honest and respectful knowledge of one condition doesn’t give you access to everyone’s diagnosis, or history, or reasons for their simple quirks/ways of being.
And sometimes we’ve just met 5 too many Autism Moms this week (their peeps are mentally 5 and always will be (physically 6.5 and they cannot know that, or ABAed into full time masking) to not put on our armor when anyone who didn’t say a close approximation of “hey, I’m Autistic and my neurodivergent-dar is pinging on you”
Same, I mostly just tell people that try to get closer to me. But it seems she had every reason to stay faaaar away from this lad. Good intuition 😊 I also observe people untill I feel comfy
In my experience, people with mental disabilities just eventually tell me. What's wrong with waiting...?
Oh, right. He wants to know if there is something "wrong with her" so that he can stop pursuing her. She is not involved in this at all.
Yeah, I believe at first he could be sincere.
I've seen this. Some guys think that if the girl is 'quiet' she will be grateful for ANY type of attention.
ugh yes
Oh gods, and it’s always like…..WHY DO YOU THINK WE’RE SO QUIET
meanwhile we're just fine vibing out in the quiet
I fr hate that some guys think this. Some girls just like being quiet 😱doesn't mean they don't have game 🥱😐🙄.
@@Ymir-wc2jo gay girls be like-
As someone with ADHD, I’d like to point out that autism isn’t the only disability with eye contact issues
You can have both, might be worth an eval for the 'tism.
🤷♀️
@@gothbubblesit is possible to have both yes but people with adhd can also have eye contact issues.
I am neither and I just dislike staring someone in the eyes. It's a bit awkward
Avoiding eye contact is also a trauma symptom. So it could be someone who was abused.
The allistic fixation on eye contact is the real issue.
As an autistic adult woman here is a small guide: it is NOT typically seen as offensive to ask somebody if they are autistic in order to better accommodate them during hangouts together. (ex: “are the bright lights bothering you?” “Do you prefer subtitles or no subtitles on tv?” “Hey I got some of your safe foods/ snacks to keep in the kitchen for when you visit!”) It IS very offensive to ask if they are autistic only because they aren’t attracted to you. Like dude wtf 😂😂
Seconded, wtf dude.
Wait, is sensitivity to bright lights (and annoying beeping noises) an autism thing? Who here hates driving at night (or even being outside at night) because of all the freaking lights that are way too bright!?!!?
@@BrettBunsen me! Been feeling like I need to wear sunglasses at night sometimes, it gets so bad.
❤❤❤
@@hannahbarrett1221 exactly. This turbo virgin is intentionally being disrespectful.
"are you fighting yourself rn? am I involved in this argument?" - such a savage line!
I mean she left already 😂 fucking Queen
Dude, there's more updates and it gets worse. Like going to her home and "running into her" outside the gym. His psycho stalker mode is activated.
TELL me she told her friends and showed them the texts!!!
@@crystalgemgirl731 She showed her friends the texts and they ousted him from the group. idk about the stalking tho, that's a new one. Good lord.
@@crystalgemgirl731 She did and they all told him he was insane and to never speak to her again. She deleted her account, so I can't confirm the stalking part.
@@gellisbarber1786 I don't think Therapy can save him, his head's so far up his own ass, it'll be hard to remove it.
He can't handle rejection 😮 so she's ganna be his hypor fixation . This can turn deadly
As an autistic person I am so sick of people like this guy using us as a fucking insult.
I'm an asexual person, here to echo this exact sentiment but about asexuality
I’m both and I too am tired of this
100% agree 😓
@@elphieofkiamoko I’m both autistic and asexual, the way allistic allosexuals treat people like us as some kind of evil enemy to their lives is crazy.
Not to mention the way that people internalise the use of this insult and take the premise that being "autistic" is a bad thing at face value. I kind of hate that this comment is overshadowed by comments from allistic people doing exactly that.
That girl has good intuition. Avoiding eye contact, physically moving away from him, that's because intuition told her he was a predator. And he proved her right. She handled that exchange like a queen.
As an grown man I was proud of this girl for laying it out pretty clear without going out of her way to bash or provoke this fucked up narcissist. He refused to take a hint irl, so he clumsily tried to manipulate her alone through text and she saw through that, he still couldnt take a hint (or multiple direct statements) and got increasingly crazy & obsessive about it, and she kept her cool, handled him, and ultimately the situation.
Unfortunately guys like this can still be dangerous, but he would have been MUCH MORE dangerous if she had relented just to appease him despite not liking him and gave him a reason to feel possessive.
Fr I really hope that guy doesn't try stalking her.
What fucking predator 😂 It's usually guys like that who run with their tails between their legs, when you show them who's boss. There all bark and no bite.
@@mediumvillain Completely dangerous. That’s more than narcissistic. Especially with the projection of “trying to teach him some sort of lesson.” Psychopath alert. 🚨 That’s how HE thinks, and he laid it all right out there.
I loved “trains are cool.” What an absolute boss move.
That guy sounds like one of those men who claim that "nice guys finish last and he's a nice guy". In my experience of almost 50 years, the guys that claim to be nice are rarely nice people.
Him: You make me want to become a daddy.
Me: You make me want to become the villain on a Forensic Files episode.
“I want to make you smile” after he spends several paragraphs yelling at and insulting her. This dude is a psycho
What did it for me was the "I really like you" followed by a list of what he like about her body.
Couldn't even list a single thing about her as a person.
See, I'm willing to bet that this brilliant woman could smell his BS from the second he showed up in the friend group and that's why she gave him a wide berth. Narcissists can't STAND it when someone pegs them right off the bat and don't fall for their charm.
I think that's very likely, based on how secure she comes across no matter what he throws at her. So she has two things narcs can't stand: not falling for their bs and she's secure in herself.
I find it right our SCARY when someobe would send me selfindulgent walls of text like this who i did not at least have a VERY nice talk the other evening. I hope this giy just got right out blocked and she told his scary behaviour to the other people in the friends group.
Okay just saw that she did exactly this. Yay girl!
I find it weird that I have some kind of radar that just goes "nuh uh this person weird and I dunno why". I have had some fights with an online friend about it, because I had this "nuh uh" feeling with one of her friends.. yeah lets just say the "nuh uh" person actually betrayed them and raided my friends youtube channel because she couldnt take a joke... I like my "nuh uh" radar
that also explains the autistic comments - its really common for narcissists to absolutely HATE us bc they can’t read us, yet we can sometimes read them, its very unsettling for them
The worst thing you can ask us introverts is if we have a mental disorder just because we don't socialize like other people.
Autism isn’t a mental disorder. It’s neurodevelopmental disorder. It can be a disability but it’s not a mental illness. Using it as an insult is just one more way this is toxic.
Ikr..I'm autistic(and introverted) and I find that pretty offensive, as people with that disorder find it hard to socialize generally, least in my and others' I know experience, and/or even pick up on social cues. I find it even more offensive that people insult the disorder. Not saying that you or anyone here is except the terrible flirter in the video, but I just see it everywhere at times..it's tiring.
"I do have a mental disorder but it's nothing to do with my introverted nature"
- Something I've actually said before unironically lol
I've learned to cope. When someone asks "what's wrong with you?" Say "a lot of shit." I love the dumb little look they get when I'm not offended by their micro aggressions.
@@K3NN3DY_101 yeah I feel that. I have dyslexia and I've had people assume I can't read at all and unfortunately I had teachers bully me for this disability. I've also seen a friend of mine with autism picked on as well.
3:11 Or she is kind of getting a bad and uncomfortable vibe from him. I haven't even met him, and my skin is crawling like ants on an abandoned sandwich.
Yup! She saw him comin' a mile away! He says she never hugged him or sat on the couch with him. She knew what was up.
ngl ants on a sandwich thing is the best simile I've seen in a long time
That “incorrect” at 7:20 was savage. She’s awesome.
This guy essentially said "you don't act the way i think women should act when they interact with me, because i'm so awesome and handsome and cool, therefore there is something wrong with your brain."
I'm surprised he didn't ask her if she was a lesbian and offer to straighten her out.
Exactly. It's like he's never met a sane woman before. Or else has assumed that every woman who has ever so much as looked at him was doing so with total admiration.
@@rae9518I’m sure the other women are sane too and just smiling and laughing (at his jokes) to avoid the shit show they know would happen if they didn’t.
Got to love how he follows it all up with sweet words like he wasn't just a... Giant red flag.
Exactly! Why does she need to be flatter by his attention and fall over in love with him just because he wants her too?
The guy is a narcissist...notice how he just cant believe she isn't interested in him? His ego demands that there has to be something wrong with her because he can't accept that he's the problem.
Came here to say similar. And came in too fast on the "love" bit. Yikes, I hope she stays obtuse with him. He deserves it.
yeah he thinks she is doing something wrong bc she doesn't like him
100% my thoughts aswell. He's not able to read the situation at all or self reflect, his reality is so warped. Also not understanding boundaries or at least not respecting them is another thing, this girl had to bring up consent. He also did show his ego when even at the dinner he was like "do you not like me?", that's not normal.
According to another comment there were updates and where she said the guy started stalking her and said "stop playing hard to get". After baby reindeer I'm aware that it's not unusual for narcissists to stalk. I used to assume their ego wouldn't let them stoop that low, but I was so wrong and realize it makes sense actually. This guy is like a text book example.
please don't use narcissistic like that, it impacts people w npd due to strengthening the stereotype that if it has "narcissistic" in the name it automatically means "abuser/pos/etc" meanwhile a ton of them are fully self aware about their disorder and already suffer immensely despite being a nice person in their essence; other than that yeah you're right
@@xylophone_888this!! Using 'narcissistic' for shitty people is like that guy using autism as an insult against the woman in the video
I physically cringed at "you make me wanna become a daddy"
Right?? It made me feel physically unwell 😂
Would make me run a mile
I'd feel bad for that hypothetical kid
I can't believe he said that 😱🤮 he was so disgusting, how completely terrible he is at reading the room
Hide the daughters feeling
When a guy says, " You're missing a good thing," they aren't usually a good thing
I once had a guy tell me I must be bi-polar after going on 2 dates with him and then deciding I wasn't interested or attracted to him at all. I literally never texted back after he said that. Some guys get so butthurt when they realize not everyone wants to be in a relationship with them.
Nah you don't get it, a new edition of the DSM came out that added a new diagnostic criteria for bipolar disorder: rejecting him specifically
Okay what really ticks me off is him just COMPLETELY disregarding her when she says ‘no thanks’ multiple times. Like the fuck is wrong with this dude.
He has some serious anger and ego issues and his ability to accept to just leave people the FUCK alone is underground worm
He's a classic narcissist.
In his own virtual crazy reality
Lots of thinks are wrong with him.
Entitlement
Sounds like he doesn't actually wants her, just wants to possess something he can't have
Use her for his validation
That is the saddest..he isn't interested in her and doesn't like or respect her. Nothing sincere here. He just wants to feed his ego and needs to "win"..and doesn't care how far it goes. Funnily or not, his obsessive behavior makes him seem like he has OCD or worse just an entitled asshole
bingo
🤣 "i dont really think of you" BAM nailed it 😂👏👏
I love her clap backs. Such a classy way of shutting him down.
This woman is a queen, she is confident, perspective and doesn't take any of his bullshit.
She probably doesn't laugh at his jokes, because they probably aren't funny 😅😅
Right?! There was not much funny here.
And anyone who does only does it because they think he's attractive 🤢
Yes! That’s usually the case, jerks like him always think they’re so funny when they never are.
Using someone's name is used as aggressive sales tactic. The more someone uses my name, the more uncomfortable and distrustful it makes me feel.
Yeah, it makes me feel like they're trying to brainwash me or something
I went on a date once with a guy who was really animated with his hands when he talked and would hit me on the arm to emphasize a point or to 'include' me on a comment. I understood it was part of his talking style but I find even the lightest tap extremely painful (years later I was diagnosed with a chronic pain condition) so I asked him to stop doing it but he wouldn't. I didn't go out with him again after that because I suspected if he wouldn't stop his his body language 'playful' hitting after I asked him to stop, he was likely masking some serious hitting too if I continued on seeing him.
Same
It just pisses me off. You don’t know me, stop saying my name. Once is enough, more than that, I’m gone.
Yes! Thank you! I hate it. Don't act like you know me!
It's to the point that I use other people's names as infrequently as possible when conversing with them, even if I DO know them well.
This guy is an energy vampire even for extroverts, he will drain the life out of introverts instantly if allowed to get close.
Fr, I need recovery time after just listening to this.
I needed to keep pausing the video for this exact reason, he is exhausting af
Best thing to do with texts from people like him is ignore them. Ain’t nobody got enough energy to deal with this level of crazy.
I encountered a guy like this when I was dating. Fat, middle aged and low earning man who tried to neg me at every turn but still somehow thought he was charming. Told me I had a very pretty face, but needed to lose some weight (he was fatter). Insulted my intelligence, my home, basically everything BUT WOULDN'T STOP MESSAGING ME. He started stalking me too.
The best insult was "You have no respect for men" because I wouldn't take his insults and BS. I countered with "No, I just have no respect for YOU"
He ligit couldn't understand why, because he thought he bwas gods gift 😂
Note: he had to go overseas to find a submissive mail order bride.... who left him 😂
"are you arguing with yourself" was a slam dunk.
Also, using ones name to make them more comfortable only works when the conversation is already positive. The way he was using it made her seem more like a target than a potential partner.
For some.
I don’t care how pleasant the conversation is. No! 🤣
Yup. When the conversation isn’t positive it’s a surefire way to cause discomfort. Which is why I almost never use people’s names. It prevents the conversation from going in a creepy direction just in case it’s not actually positive.
Her responses are SPOT ON.
I was told I had good birthing hips....I just stared at him until he walked away.
One of my friends heard this from another (guy) friend’s mom. We were in middle school. So weird
I was told by an Uber driver I looked like I'd have beautiful mixed race babies as he made direct eye contact with me in the rear view mirror (yes we were different races)
Someone once looked at my feet and exclaimed:
"Your feet are so small!"
Huh?
"How are you going to give birth?"
Really.
@@dorcasmalahlela2805 LOL WHAT 😶😶😱😱
Yeah that’s something they used to say to us as kids like it was completely normal. Wasn’t even from dudes. Like women would say that to us. I remember my grandmother saying it about me when I was like 9.
I love what you do. The red flag warnings are so so important in teaching people what to look for. And the green flag videos just warm my heart. You're obviously a kind and thoughtful person, and your girlfriend is so lucky to have you. I bought some of your merch today because I couldn't wait to be in support of your channel.
THANK YOU SO MUCH! Seriously means the world! 👏 👏
-and some of us get progressively more creeped out, (and MORE guarded) the more a stranger uses our name. It's like, "we are NOT close enough for you to be so familiar!"
The last update, which was this past week or two, that I am aware of proves how scary this guy actually is. He made a comment about her going to the police, which means she reported him and he STILL won’t leave her alone!!!! He even knows she continues to post his messages for the world to see. He just doesn’t give an ‘f’ and thinks his actions are normal. He’s not going to leave her alone and I worry about her safety
Do you remember what the final update is called or what OP was called before she deleted her account?
@@vekaroni135 I do not, unfortunately. There were other channels covering it though
TH-cam has been recommending me police body cam videos and there are compilations of guys like this one; they don't care if the cops and the whole world are telling them to leave the woman alone.
I believe it. I tried to let a guy down easy & it turned into 2 yrs of absolute nonsense. My biz info ended up on 2 escort sites which was used to fuel local rumors, he started out stalking me, then had others stalking & harrassing me, ppl yelling obscenities & slurs driving past my house, psycho texts & threats, random dudes wandering up trying to solicit me. Cops wouldn't do anything regardless of the amount of screenshots, pics & vid evidence I had collected.
@justacoginthefkery Yikes! Thats terrible.... did it stop? Or are you still being harassed?
i thought at the start that maybe he asked her if she is autistic, if he was autistic himself, cause it can help knowing if it's more likely that they can communicate like yourself BUT after a few messages it became so clear that he was saying it because he thought something was wrong with her because he thought he is such a great catch and soooo interesting and irresistable that no one would ever not want to be with him unless he considers them "sick"...and then offering to help? jesus man, that's some massive complex right there.
And saying, “Is this a trauma response-?” I hate how the dark trait people are going to therapy now just to learn to better manipulate and attack us all 😂
@@m-alexandria-g "Tell me all your dark traumas, I'll help you, I promise. I love you, after insulting you multiple times!" 😱😱😱
yeah I was willing to give him a chance thinking maybe he recognized signs in himself and was trying to connect and was just being open about it without games...but no narcassistic stalker who doesnt accept no thanks means no.
Very glad she showed her friends and they all agreed with her. What a... just a wtf dude???
This guy has been studying pick up art. The god awful formulas are all over what he's doing.
The putting down, telling her she's mentally compromised for not wanting him, telling her what a high value guy he is, the comparing her to his exes height to make her insecure and want to find a way to impress him. It's textbook terrible, straight from the book. Plus, yaknow, his personal brand of severe loser.
I thought he came off as a bit of a narcissist. Started out nice, but then got nasty as soon as it was clear that she wasn't gonna take the bait, and then suddenly switched it up to "love bomb" her
You look healthy as a flirt line is only acceptable if said by a vampire.
This is terrifying. I've met people who actually talk like this when they get regected. My ex was trying to get me back when the last argument we had was about how he was settling for me and that he can do better. I let him go to go get better and yet there he was. Telling me that I was the best thing blah blah blah. I rejected him and the next day he posted the most misogynistic shit I've ever seen. "Women need to go back to the kitchen" type of stuff. He was a peach.
Edit: he was my high school sweetheart.
Thats scary, good to hear you managed to get rid of him. I also had an ex who i was strong enough to leave after years of putting me down. In the last argument he tried to start, literally the night before i moved out, he asked: are you still moving out or have you come to your senses already? Haha. Wtf. He also later wanted to meed up and told me, HE thought we should get back together because it's the best for me. Hoestly, i am still recovering fron that, its now been 4 years, and even when i dated other guys in between, i again and again realized how much he broke inside of me. but i have gotten much better. Be careful and look out for each other. ❤
He's still single too, right? 😂 My ex fiance went wild that way. I left. He said he could do better and I wasn't grateful enough. I haven't dated anyone since, but he's had a string of girlfriends where every.single.one. has broken up with him because he's "mean and self-centered". Gosh Brad. You know, maybe after the 8th woman saying the exact same thing, you might wanna look into that 😂 (still hang out with his littlest sister who is like family to me and who lives a mile away. Only reason I know that stuff.)
You should have told him that men should go back to cleaning pipes and streets.
Guys switching on the spot even in the street, from "Hey, beautiful" to "Nobody would want to f**k an ugly c*nt like you ever, anyway" after rejection, is so normal you almost learn to expect it. But his unlimited self-praise is over and beyond.
Nothing destroys a narcissist like hearing no
He asks her "wtf is your problem?" when he in fact, is the one with the problem
Projection. Classic.
"Wears sunglasses indoors, boat shoes, and works for his dad" YES 100% correct description. Literally, I must have met this same dude, he looked and acted just like the red flag guy in the story.
7:20 At least she’s slaying this conversation. Slaying his ego
She’s probably an INFJ. (Myers Briggs)
@@sonofhibbs4425yo me too
8:16 - this reminded me of the time I matched with a guy and he was on about how weird it was that I don't smile with my teeth and legit wanted me to send a pic OF MY TEETH to prove I had all of them.
He didn't get what I meant when I told him he wasn't buying a horse he didn't need to check my teeth 😂
😂
Excellent response
Excellent reply 😅
I vaguely remember someone trying this with me - like, why do you need to see my teeth? You’re not a dentist!
The "I love so many things about you. Genuienly. I love you as a friend, and I love you as a person, " right right after paragraphs' worth of messages doing nothing but berating and insulting her is what did it for me LMAO
How do you go from "There's something wrong with you" to "I like you" in such a short amount of time
The cycle of relationship ab use is right there...
Just a change in tactics - couldnt get her to invest in proving him wrong, so he switched to love bombing...
Because he's a fucking psychopath.
And when tries to list what he like about her it's all about her body
This is worrying behavior and I hope she’s ok. Please be safe everyone if you are ever around a person like this.
“You make me want to become an obituary entry” is golden and I must start using it immediately
If this guy would be the last man on earth..the woman would choose the bear.
You guys ever see a person and think “they’re literally a villain from a cartoon movie”? Because we got a real life Gaston over here.
🎶Gosh it disturbs me to see you this way. You're everyone's favorite guy.
Don't insult Gaston.
No ooooone
Is a dick like Gaston
Such a prick like Gaston
Measures it with twig not a stick like Gaston!
@@LaraBuluzLMAO
I was going to post that this guy is Gaston!
“My ovaries just dried up”😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
lol "congrats my vagina has never been drier"
Yes!! I came here for this comment!! 😂😂😂😂😂
Mine closed off 😂😂😂😂😂
She's an introvert.
He's a narcissistic extrovert.
Insulting someone till they like you, the best of dating advice 👍
People who repeat my name a lot creep me out and piss me off. It just feels manipulative. Saying my name that much feels like something that belongs only to the people who know me best.
And people who know you best don’t need to!
A guy that I was initially interested in saw me have an interaction with a little boy visiting the nature center where I worked and asked me the same thing. I had dinosaur stickers on a storage box and he asked about it. So I asked him which Dino was his favorite and told him mine and that he should get his dad to take him to a new specific museum near us that had just gotten an new Dino exhibit. Later we're in his truck driving and he says what's with all the dinosaur stuff. I said I like them, always have. I'm a science person, it comes with the territory. He doesn't say anything for a bit and then says are you autistic or something? Umm what?!?? No I'm not, that I know of anyway. He says we'll you must be because adults, especially adult women, shouldn't be interested in dinosaurs. Anyway, that was the moment I knew we were on different intellectual levels and I get away from that asap. All because I was friendly to a little boy who asked about my dinosaur stickers.
Yeesh. At least he let you know he (ahem) wasn't your type before you wasted too much time on him. My favorites are Stegosaurus and Triceratops.
You dodged a very large bullet there! That guy is so far from your level that he might as well be on another planet. (60 year old woman here - who still loves dinosaurs and going to Dinosaur National Monument is still my favorite vacation!) Hold out until you find someone who either shares your passion or, at the very least, respects it!
I like ankylosaurus the best since they look like spikey little tanks with maces on their tails. I guess I shouldn't like dinosaurs, either, because I'm 58. 🙄🤣
Old lady here-still love camping in Glen Rose where you can see dinosaur tracks! Glad you dumped that loser 😂
wow. did you ask him what his favorite dinosuar was? the adult? cuz i dont trust/believe adults who dont have one (unless its cuz there are too many awesome ones to pick)
When people have no clue that it's their personality that puts people off, you get this dude. 🙄
The "why do you hug *blank* and *blank* but not ME?" Gave me fucking psychic damage.
I knew a lot of guys that were like that and got asked that so many times to the point i had to just be blunt and say "because they're my friend and youre not". That usually got them to stop (after a little bit of crying about how much of a bitch i am, anyway).
Yeah that name rhing is a tactic that manipulative and abusive people often use, especially when they are trying ro force a sense of intimacy -- and obligation -- early in the relationship.
Obviously it's not only used by bad people for bad reasons but it is a manipulative tool so it's good to be aware of.
When dude thinks he's a wonderful prize with a bow on it and his personality is definitely clearance rack from the dollar store😑
Telling her about his exes and who he spends night with and insulting her and perving on her 😂. At least he told her who he was
Not that she wanted to know though.. but confirmed he is real crazy and disappointing, she done right thing staying away
hey ive been in some good ass dollar stores 😂
@@syncopatedglory I saw a story on that. Urban dollar stores and rural or suburban ones are not the same. I had a conversation with a friend about this factor about 7/11s
As someone with diagnosed anxiety, depression, PTSD, and ADHD, talking to new people is EXTREMELY taxing, and I can't make eye contact until I get to know you. The amount of times I've been insulted by random people or been made uncomfortable by those who don't understand personal space- hoo. I'd be running to the hills to get away from this guy.
I've had someone ask, "what, you think you're better than me?" because I'm really quiet in a large group. Some people are so fragile.
@Balletcalvero Oh same. And then you can't say anything because you're so timid and nervous. It sucks. 🫂
This guy had more red flags than a Chinese flag factory.
and seeing how he ended up being, she probably had some uncomfy vibes right away..or at the very least just not matching her energy/ boundaries like too pushy.
'autistic'? Nah bro she's sending you every signal thats shes uncomfortable with you and would prefer if you stopped, but knows better than to say it straight out because THIS is the kind of reaction she'll get.
exactly
This this thisththisthis. At least it's text is what I'd be thinking
But she gets that kind of reaction anyway, so why not take the gloves off immediately?
She is so fortunate to have those texts to show her friends and for them to back her up.
I've seen times when a guy gets creepy only to the woman and treats the woman's friends well. So, her friends just can't believe that he is a creep.
I have NO idea how I’m just finding you “red flag guy” but I laughed SO hard through your last few videos AND you taught me something about why men use my name so much when they aren’t getting anywhere with me LOL.
Thanks so much. You are so awesome❤!
I am a very quiet "woman". (ENBY but femme presenting) Men think their competition is with other men, but no, it's with my peace and quiet. And I can guarantee no man will be better than my own peace and quiet.
I've never related to something so hard 🧝♀️
8:38 THANK GOODNESS
I’m fascinated that he thought he could get away with this when they were in the same friend group. Zero expectation she would immediately show the texts to the people they know
Because he is the one who is oblivious and delusional to his behavior.... no self awarness
Because he’s the one crazy enough to see nothing wrong with this
5:45 Not all autistic are into Trains some of us are into dinosaurs
Dinosaurs are cool and so are trains :3
And moths
Mine is history
And dragons
What's his problem?, Trains 🚂 🚃 are Cool and without them we wouldn't have anything.
06:00 'the more you say someone's name the more comfortable they are with you?" Hell no, especially if it is someone I barely know. My family and close friends rarely use first names unless they are trying to get that person's attention. A stranger rolling up and thinking the way to get a positive response is to blitz attack with my first name? No response and block the number. Ick
This is so unhinged. Like I'm friendlier with other people because i know them and have had the time to feel comfortable with them. I'm not going to go out of my way to have a conversation with you because why would i go out of my way for anything if it makes me uncomfortable.
This dude's ego is out of control , this is a jail sentence waiting to happen
Introvert here. I find it uncomfortable when someone I don't know, or know well, uses my first name. I know it's a sales tactic to either remember a name you've just learned, or as that psychologist said a tactic to put someone at ease. The repetition would make my skin crawl. Also, after the first time someone cussed at (not used in conversation cuz I enjoy colorful language) me would have me block them. Maybe a "I don't find being sworn at endearing. Do not contact me again." Then block.
Same or when they instantly give you a nickname. Like everyone calls me Jenny but they insist on Jen. It just feels weird and overly familiar especially as I need time to feel comfortable around new people
That guy needs some serious therapy
In a locked unit, preferably.
therapy can't help his personality disorders
And put on a list 😂
@@maggiefranks6849 Specially when they think that nothing is wrong with them. Impossible to treat.
imma be real, in my experience, people like this, well, let's put it this way-- they have a physical learning style; they need their new information reinforced with a two by four.
A guy on Snapchat kept asking me about my sex life, specifically my sex life as a teenager and my "self play times" when i was w preteen. I was in a relationship at the time and he knew that, yet kept asking those invasive questions and trying to flirt with me. At one point i just told him straight up that i found his behavior creepy and that even if i wasn't dating someone he wasn't my type. He just started saying that i have bad taste and that he actually "never said he liked me". I just blocked him. Moral of the story: don't ask a girl what her sex life is like as a minor and don't try to seduce women who are in a relationship. It's really creepy.
I'm so glad their friend group backed her instead of him.
How's he go on a tirade like that and still try to say he'd make her life better? Like, in what world would having someone like that around be BETTER
Best if he left her alone to better her life
@@adk5997 That would indeed be the only thing he could do to make her life better
As someone who’s on the spectrum I don’t really like it when people ask me if I’m autistic. My experience when it’s someone I don’t know very well is to undermine my intelligence and I really don’t like that. Most of my friends have never asked me but figured it out and were just waiting for me to feel comfortable to tell them
So very understandable. I've had kids in middle school bother me about being on the spectrum and for not having a boyfriend.
My autistic friends didnt ask if I was because they assumed I knew. I was told that I needed to get tested via a friend asking for advice about the test because they thought Id already been diagnosed and then when I mentioned it like "omg thats so crazy" to another autistic friend, they literally said "YOU HAVENT BEEN? I THOUGHT YOU KNEW!"
- an honorary autistic on the path to getting my degree XD
Well do what OP did and ask them the same.
Yeah, I always thought it was kind of rude to just ask someone that.
This is not really about mental health. Why are you trying to take this dude seriously and justify yourself? He was just insulting because he is a misogynist, they don't care for explanation and logic.
Green Flag Group, ASSEMBLE!
THIS IS THE ENERGY WE LOVE
I got your message!
ASSEMBLE!!!!
Present! 🙋🏻
...assembling...ASSEMBLED!
here! 🙋
Ive learned that people you never thought would like you or be attracted to you really respond no not being rushed or pressured. It's crazy how well it works actually.
I'm on the spectrum, and I sometimes get defensive when people get up in my face and bug me over things that aren't their business at all.
I had a guy hate me because I didn’t go out if my way to talk to him. I didn’t even remember wtf he was…lmao. Why are narcissists like that? If u don’t talk to them, u must hate them…
Back when I was an undergrad in college, a classmate approached me and told me how everyone in class thought I was stuck up and acted like I was superior to them bc I didn't really talk to any of them. I was honestly just really shy. And after that classmate's comment I became shy AND hyper self conscious. He then went on to say how he had defended me. And I was like "oh, okay."
I was at a local community College. Barely made friends because I was so shy. And shocker, when I transferred to a 4 year university, I was still shy and barely made friends. Didn't have a single friend I even spoke to outside of the situational aspect of the particular classroom (or by extension a group project of said course). So nope, not stuck-up, I just am extremely shy.
That angry “Tiptoe Through the Tulips,” dear god I love it. 😂
COME TIPTOE THROUGH THE TULIPS WITH ME! 🎸👩🏾🎤
How is this ONE man hitting every branch of the red flag tree as he crashes into the ground?! Just how?!
🔥Roasted🔥
🔥Roasted, Sequel🔥
That got me good!🤣
Im an introvert. Super not into dating. I love being alone. Someone like this? Id never go back to the places I ran into them at.
Ngl someone saying my name repeatedly would just make me feel extremely threatened lmao Even my fiance only calls my name when she needs to get my attention because I'm distracted
Narcissist 101.
This man is legitimately unhinged and needs professional help. I saw somewhere that there was another update and things got worse. I really hope that girls and her friends are safe away from him because he’s definitely a red potentially very dangerous flag.
He felt so entitled to her time and attention, just because he wanted it, that any deviation from that must be a disorder.
I won't make eye contact with people I genuinely think are threatening, so... He's seeing the signals that his behavior is a problem, and totally misinterpreting them. 0% self awareness. Rather terrifying.
He knows he is not as great as he portrays himself and it irks him she sees through even before he confirmed how unhinged he is
The name repetition bit had me looking this up, because I had (have? in therapy rn) a trauma bond with a guy who'd use my name a lot in conversation. One result was, "What does it mean when a guy says your name a lot over text?
One of the texting habits of a guy who likes you is that he frequently uses your name in texts. If that is the case, it's likely a clear indication that he likes you and wants to make you feel special." But... considering the gas lighting & lies & secrets.... yeah, a red flag huh. 😅
Thank you. I think this bit especially has helped me in the healing journey.
Also the running with the flag is just amazing. 😆 Cheers from Finland 🎉
I hate it when people use my first name. Unless they know me well enough, I don’t care for it. Not sure why anyone would like that. What are we, dogs?
That makes absolutely no sense to me and would irritate me to no end! 🤣
Why would you keep repeating my name over and over again in a text, when you already know my freaking name and I for dang sure; know my own name? I don’t need anyone to keep saying it! I’m ending the conversation, for good! 🤣
I'm also from Finland, and I'm convinced that the Finnish culture has one function for saying someone's name: identification/clarification when in a group of three or more people.
You never say the other person's name in a conversation that is being had between two people. Saying the other person's name feels belittling to them. It can also feel manipulative.
@@BeeWhistlerexactly. I think we should normalize using last names until a closer relationship is established. It's just so weird hearing my name when they're a complete stranger and I have a hard time saying stranger's names because it seems impolite
Narcissistic ego maniac!! Rejection makes them lose their minds. I know this from first-hand experience within my own family. How can they control you if you don't fall under their spell?! People don't seem to realize that a lot of introverts are empaths as well. She obviously read him early on and tried to steer clear of him. She handled him very very well! Kudos ❤
5:48 yep that guy definitely read 'how to win friends and influence people'.
That dude is completely pathological and needs professional help.
He needs something alright! 😩
Roasted: a trilogy 💀💀
Im autistic AND quiet. it's quite frustrating with interactions i get with new people because im quite reserved, and i only like spending time with one best friend. Like, when i have to talk to others, i get the basic
-Why dont you talk?
- You look rude
-talk to me
-look at me
-why arent you smiling.
All that stuff, people like this guy clearly took the words " you're so handsome you'll get all the ladies " from grandma *seriously* when he was a kid 💀 if i dont talk to you, that means im *not* interested.
Im surprised people cant grasp that
Oh yeah, this is why it's hard for me to date because Jesus, the comments I get, bro. I want someone, but then there's ppl like this
I love how his (inflated) ego got the best of him and just cause he didn’t get what he wanted he’s bringing out 50 shades of personalities.
I personally wouldn't be offended by being asked if I'm autistic but that's because I probably already told them somewhere in the convo. I advocate through complete transparency to help normalize things because I'm disabled and can't do much else and don't understand social boundaries so it's hard to offend me with a legitimate question. But even I was able to read the subtext way before he asked her of Do Not Want, Go Away.
That being said, some people that are neurodivergent would rather remain closeted. You can put out signs to show you're a safe space but they get to decide if they tell you.
I feel 100% sure that bro will be served a restraining order vvveeerrryyy soon. ::internal tidal wave of an eye roll::
Your "trilogy" comment slayed me. I'm dead. 💀😅
So, he's just decided in his mind that she will date him and then gets angry when his decision hits the reality.
"What's wrong with you?" together with "you have tasty lips for sure" is one of the weirdest reactions to someone else's lack of interest in you. Damn, he's a future client of court.
"Why don't you laugh at my jokes?"
You're not funny.
"You're jealous I went home with X and Y and you went home alone."
If you went home with them, why are you texting this girl?
"I'm everything you want in a guy."
You fucking wish.
"You make me want to be a daddy."
You make me want to call the cops.
I'm glad the whole friend group wised up and dropped him.