I’m a 29 year old woman who’s been married for four years. This channel has helped me see the errors in my behavior and attitude. Ive learned so much and have apologized to my husband for the hell I created in our lives. Since doing so he’s opened up about his feelings and struggles. I don’t say a word and just listen. Damn, I learned more about him in 30 minutes than I have in four years because he could be honest. Big takeaway. My husband is not my enemy. If he wins, I win. Society taught me I could have everything and sacrifice nothing. I deserved it because I was female. Feminism isn’t about equality at all-it’s about dominance and control and it’s fucking up my entire generation. I’m so sorry. Ps I’m sharing this channel with all the women I know. I hope it helps us all become better humans.
The harshest lesson you learn as a man is that no one really wants to hear about your feelings, hopes, fears and pain. Life teaches us that no good comes of opening up.
Is that harsh or the stepping stone to becoming the man you were supposed to be 🤔 Opening up and vulnerable to others and hearing the good, bad, and downright ugly has made me into the man I am today. I took those negative things and made them into useful information (Depending on the source. Ya can’t put value on a bad source).
@@orangetruckman That’s a fair point you make. I’m rather happy not feeling as though I’m reliant upon anyone else emotionally but that transition getting there wasn’t easy.
Its so true. It doesn't matter even if you try to talk to someone about it people still don't care how a man feels. My family comes to me when they want someone to talk to but as soon as I started to try to say what Im going through I am told to stop complaining.
That's because you're a MAN! Are not SUPPOSED to have FEELINGS!! Chris Rock was on the money: "Only women, children and DOGS are loved unconditionally!" If a man is gonna be ALLOWED to be around, he'd better be providing SOMETHING (money, security, DNA...SOMETHING!!)
I remember warm healing energy women used to have. Opening up was necessary for stronger bond and trust. Nowadays I'm scared to open up bcs my vulnerability is used against me even in the family. I wish Men&Women were Allies in Love not enemies in hate&conflict.
@@youareprecious9108 that would be optimal and ideal, yes. Unfortunately, Mr. Smith was right..."Did you know that the FIRST Matrix was designed to be a perfect human world? Where everyone would be HAPPY? It was a disaster. No one would accept the programming. Entire crops were lost..." As humans, we THRIVE on drama...females especially. If you don't believe that, look at the popularity of Soap Opera shows. Not JUST the daytime hourly' s but there are many more...Greys Anatomy...Chicago Fire...and that's just the "adult" ones, to say nothing of the "Vampire Diaries" universe, etc. All drama and all directed mostly at females.
This is interesting and kind of eye opening. If I think about it, I've probably done this to my boyfriend, hurting him and silencing his voice when actually I'd like exactly the opposite...for him to open up and be able to share things he feels or any issue we may have, without having to walk on eggshells. Thank you, I'm definitely going to share this with him, check what he thinks and work on my end to never forget this aspect while communicating, to better understand and support each other.
No you shouldn't push your man to talk about his feelings. Women have software running in the background that they don't understand. If he does what you want him to, you will dislike him on an instinctual level. You may not even understand why. Women like this idea intellectually, but they don't like to experience it emotionally. Women need, instinctually, a man to be a rock. A person that doesn't fall apart under emotional distress. Part of of the protection/ provision neccesity, is the protection. A women can not feel safe around a man that is emotionally soft. A million years of wiring will not go away because you want it to. Don't have him talk like that unless you want to assist with the degradation of your relationship.
Unless he's very young he probably already knows that it's a bad idea to open up to a woman, especially a romantic partner. I learned that lesson at nineteen. Haven't done it since. I'm 51.
If he’s been burned once the second time around is going to be tough. Burn him twice, if he’s even half a man, you’ll never get another chance. What you will get is, “It’s all good.” “I’m fine.” “No worries, just got some things on my mind, nothing serious.” “Doin’ good, thanks.” etc., etc., etc.
Sorry... Men in general just can't be bothered to be stabbed in the back by women anymore... We don't talk about how we feel because at the end of the day nobody and I do mean NOBODY will give a shit! Not their dad, not their mom, not their SO... not a damn soul, should they ever dare trust someone enough to open up it will likely be the day that relationship dies, why? Because the other party has always been the kind to either tell you to stop complaining or they take that and use it as a weapon at a later date... Your man is likely closed off emotionally for this very reason... You can have a solid and strong relationship regardless and if you're sincere by simply doing everything you can in EVERY other way to show him you have his back and won't stick a knife in it. LISTEN to him when he asks you to avoid certain people or if he states he's not comfortable with your guy "friend" Act in accordance with his wishes (within reason, you shouldn't take abuse after all) and respect his standards... also understand that there will be times the 2 of you don't agree on things and that's OK! DON'T go on to try an manipulate, compell, or in any way threaten him by withholding your affection if he doesn't do as you want... again, within reason. Sometimes things really ARE a deal breaker but most of the time it likely isn't.
This literally just happened to me last week. She talks about how communication is key and blah blah, so as I'm telling her how I felt about something, somewhere in that statement, she decided her feelings were what mattered. You constantly have to walk on eggshells when bringing up anything because like he said, just the difference of one word can change the whole conversation. Expressing how you feel should never turn into an argument.
Stop giving a shit if she stays or goes and voice exactly how you feel. If she leaves then NEXT. Build your self enough to get to this mindset. A real woman will stay and learn. But for this to work she has to see you as high value man.
So true I'm going through the same thing now and I'm at the end of my rope and I am going to set things straight because I don't have to live that life style..
@@ppudoka Spot on, she wants to know, tell her in a manly way, don't mince words or get all mushy or feminine. She does not like it, tell her the door is right there, use it. But never tell her anything that she will later use against you. If you are in that kind of relationship, best to get rid of her. I divorced my wife for this and other reasons, no cheating, just the mental games. Fellas, they are not worth it.
On behalf of women I'm so sorry we've done this to you! Married nearly 20 years and just learning this stuff in the past few months. I've changed my behavior drastically. I love my man to death and when I told him a few weeks ago "Hey I just want you to know how much I appreciate all you do for us. You're an amazing husband and wonderful father." He looked stunned and replied slowly "Why are you saying these things?" He couldn't trust it! I felt so bad. I tell him all the time now. I've stopped talking over him. I've stopped correcting him. I tell him that I trust his best judgment on many decisions. Now I'm starting to reap more rewards because he's spoiling me like a Queen! ❤️
A happy future for you! I’m so happy for you! Enjoy it! I tell women who will listen, “LOVE your husband, appreciate him, tell him when he does right.” I lost my husband of 21 years in 2010. We had a beautiful marriage.
Tpu shouldn't have beeded a wake up. You women aren't worth enough to treat us like shit. Your excuse isn't good enough. You should be dumped. You women deserve to have that energy back.
Well, I’ll just say that the behavior that your husband endured for the last 20 years is exactly why I will never, EVER involve myself with another female.
@Marty Sykes I actually wasn't a bad wife for 20 years. I was the bread winner for the majority of that time while he went to school and figured out what he wanted to do and he tried many things. But I wasn't perfect (still not). I was way better than most of my friends but not as good as I could've been. We women aren't really taught how to be good wives by society. I thought I was pretty good. But now I KNOW I'm being the best wife I can be. Hope you don't give up on marriage.
Actually, it's the ONLY reasonably safe way, especially once you're past the age of 10. After that age, talking about your feelings, even with your MOTHER, is high risk if you're male.
My favourite is when you are legitimately upset and tell your wife why you are upset and then she gets upset at you for being upset with her. Then you end up saying you’re sorry. That’s why it’s best to keep it to yourself
Yup same here gents. 6 years of being shit and belittled by my ex and when i try to speak to family (female members) about it during and after the split it's clear that unless it's about them they just dont want to know. Made it very clear that all the words females say about share, open up blah blah blah feom girlfriends and family just dont mean shit
Oh... Dear.. 😣 there may be hope for you boys? It was never the fault of any woman that you suffered this way.. Your parents own most of that. Second place goes to the sad broken culture you grew up in.. it's not entirely your fault that the tools weren't there for you. But I assume you can all read? There are a good many books explaining the broken state of masculinity in the west. The food news is you can start today👍
This shit has happened in almost EVERY argument my wife and I have had over the last 22 years. I say what I really feel, she latches on to ONE thing to make it about her, then she gets in her feelings, and I have to stop expressing my feelings and comfort/cater to hers. Bottom line: stay single gents.
I started taking control of that and instead… refuse to cater to her feelings and tell her to either deal with it or get over it. What she does is out of my control but I’ll definitely not let her control how I should feel.
God took care of me sending my wife. She is a unicorn compared to most. She actually listens and takes my feelings into account and we communicate very well. I truly hope all good men find their unicorn women. They do exist
In highschool I was dating this girl who (I recognize now) had such a low self-esteem that whenever I gave her a compliment it became a 'I'm not as good as...' argument. Took her to prom, but the relationship ended soon after. I got tired of having each of my compliments turned into insults because I couldn't find a way to say something that she couldn't turn around and make an issue or insult.
it so true, I am a man and it's happening to me this so often, I just shed tears now after watching this clip. I don't know why those tears are coming, it's probably this guy really hit some nerve. And the girl who posted it, you are doing a great job exposing this, it's very needed, because some of us are treated like trash by the closest person.
Last girl I was with complained that I didn’t share my feelings but when I did she accused me of trying to manipulate her make her feel sorry for me. Smfh lol
Quote verbatim from my wife, "You can choose to feel that way." What do you think would happen if I flipped the script and suggested that to her? If women really want men to express their feelings, they have to make it safe to do so. If your man is not expressing his feelings, is it because you've made it unsafe to do so?
Thankfully, I just naturally recognized this myself 35 years ago too. Our relationship, "conversations" and communication got MUCH more peaceful, calm, manageable and infrequent when I said "ENOUGH". We agreed if something was important to her, we would talk about them on weekends, not after a 14+ hour work day (I worked 2 jobs M-F).
My gf wanted me to apologize for… talking to another woman in my sleep. I refused to engage with her & she accused me of hurting her ‘feelings’. Her feelings over, her accusations of a dream. I called it stupid, she said I called her stupid & I said ‘the shoe is a perfect fit’. Took her a minute to figure it out, but she’s still mad two weeks later. 😂😂😂
My girl is always mad at me because she had a dream I was doing something with some other girl in her dream when she wakes up she’s already mad at me when I wake up the perfect storm is waiting for me 😂
This is 100% true. Happened in my marriage. It drove me to the point where I told my now ex wife I was sick of always hearing about her feelings. Probably not the best thing for me to say, and I can’t say it’s one of my proudest moments, but that’s where I was at mentally. I’ll never open up to a woman again as a result.
A while back I decided to just talk my feelings out with myself, I put up my emotional walls to the rest of humanity. They can’t use them against me if they don’t know what my feelings are.
I'm 65, been married twice. My walls around my emotions and feelings are so high I don't think I can take them down now. Single and I'll probably die that way.
Benn married 42 years. I learned a long time ago, through experience, keep your feelings to yourself. Any sign of weakness (feelings/vulnerability) will make her feel insecure. Remember, big boys don’t cry. Keep quiet, keep calm, press on.
This is so honest and truthful,,, thank you brother,,,, it helps to hear it from another ,, and Sarah, 👍 nice,,, this is a good way of spreading the love🙏🙏
Your parents love you for who you are, the rest of the world loves you for what you can provide. And the sad part is that alot of people don't even get good parents. Just a cruel world.
Truth! We have one mom (hopefully a good and nurturing one) every other female is not your mom, they are looking for resources: revenue stream, protection and status. And, if you should have children they are hers, not yours. And, the irony is that my mom sought my dad for those very reasons! Go figure. To quote my fist wife, before she abandoned my son and I, “You’re not becoming someone that I can say, ‘My husband this, and my husband that,’ fast enough.” So it goes.
Was gonna say, not everybody's parents love their kids for who they are. Some people have nobody, no parents, no relationships, just nobody. You are alone. Always have been. Always will be. Remember it.
I hate to have to admit this, but that made me so fucking sad.I am literally blinking back the tears. My mother and older sister were the kind of women that the men were describing. I won't go into the horrific things that these 2 did to harm my dad,largely because they both hate men. I'll simply note that it's been just me and my dad since 1999.
Love isn't a "How much" thing. It either is, or isn't. Ever get that "you take me for granted!" accusation? My answer is "yes, I absolutely do, and if you don't like that, you'd better think about what it means. Are you saying my vows were conditional? Were yours? You should take me for granted, too." And that's the bedrock on which the relationship is based.
Yep...been there...she'd wanna talk about her feelings and if I interjected with how I was feeling she ignored me until the next time we got into an arguement she'd take a few words or a sentance I said while she was voiceing her feelings and throw it in my face or when she realized the arguement wasnt going her way she'd take something from the past like 4 to 8 years prior and throw that in my face then stomp off like she'd dropped the mic and be mad at me for 1-2 days.
And if we as men act like we dont care we get the short end of the stick we always get the short end of the stick all the time come to think of it. Men have found its better just to man up and deal with it themselves rather than open up to his woman. Thanks for the double standard ladies.
If you act like it doesn’t phase you, she thinks you don’t love her anymore and don’t care about her. If you act like it does phase you and try to fix things, she will bring up more and more issues from the past. Why is it so hard to find a woman that is easy to be with? Why does it always have to be a battle?
@@MonsterKz69 yep and to add to that acting like you dont love her anymore suddenly you think she's a "fat ugly cow" or a varration of that as well as other crap like hating her somehow even though you've never ever said those kinda things even in a joking tone. They just randomly make shit up because they know the crap they are arguring over is dumb childish crap not grown adult crap.
todays women are being reared by inexperienced women in the first place. Remember when mom would be your biggest fan. Some of the finest women came from the 50s and 60s. 70s started discouraging feminine women and putting them to work. Nothing against that. It does pose futuristic problems.dont want to start an argument because i do respect today's woman. Makes it so much more difficult to sustain a strong stable relationship.
The one time I opened up to my gf, she laughed at me and said I was just trying to get attention. This was over 20 years ago. I have never discussed anything personal since. Anytime I even consider opening up to someone, her response pops into my head. It has basically killed any desire to date or marry since. I know it's irrational, but it's there nevertheless.
I thought I could open up to my girl. When we first started dating I was closed emotionally and didn't share my feelings with her and told her I was fine and I was tough and could handle my own shit. She told me I didn't have to be like that and that I could talk to her. So I did. At first it was fine but 2.5 years later I told her that I felt like I couldn't open up and really tell her what I think and how I feel and she used that as a reason to break up with me... Wtf Never again. Nobody cares about men's feelings. Not even the woman who wants you to think she does
My advice, tell ya brothers or your boys. Imo I feel like my brothers the only one I can trust with confidential shit, and vice versa bc I got their back to the grave
@@TaterTotRiot Dam, if she's at the point of digging through your messages n using your personal business against you, I'd say just leave. To me that'd signal the trust is gone..out the fuckin window, n I wouldn't be able to look at her the same again. Hope it gets better for you bro
Sarah, respect to you for showing this to the world. 😘. Through this I can see you are comfortable with yourself and that shows how strong you are as well as your level of emotional intelligence and maturity! Much love!
Every time I let my guard down and open up it is manipulated and used against me . And during those conversations it always ends up being about her. It also gets taken as criticism and shortcomings instead of being addressed or working together to fix it. A man doesn't need much. I love my woman. But she has hardened my emotions. Her biggest mistake is thinking I will always be there.
Thank you for speaking up for men and giving them a voice.it means so much that some people can see were people not monsters at lest not all. Thank you.
At that point if she’s going to make it about her then you have to tell her to stop and tell her to care and if she doesn’t stop and learnt to grow as a person then you gotta go, I never have this situation with my partner bc I tell her, this relationship is about both of us but when I’m telling you how I feel don’t make it a downward spiral, we tell eachother how we feel then we move upwards from it from there, simple as that
My partner and I have never had an issue with listening to each others feelings and actively try to make sure each other are ok... how is it this difficult for society to just put aside their egos and find closure together
Men don't matter, not just their feelings. Their health doesn't matter, their problems don't matter. Even when you die "she" will complain about why did you leave her.
This is very true. 😞 I've done this to my husband without realizing it. As our relation ship has grown and changed over 17 years I have started to stop the cycle and apologize when I make him feel like this. It's hard but ladies this is soooo true. Men experience all the same emotions as we do and if they dare to express them it usually comes back to hurt them more.
Maybe it's bc I'm 6yrs older than my husband of 17yrs bc I appreciate when my husband tells me what's up. I was privileged & honored to be there to help him when we lost his parents from cancer during his early & mid 30'a. He doesn't do it often so when he does, I stop & listen. We might be an exception bc I do see females do this. I choose not to. I value him as my husband & the Father to our kids. Females:Plz Do Better!💕🙏🏻✌🏼
SAME. But my husband and I have what is considered an “old soul relationship”. We were actually best friends before we were lovers. We didn’t say “I love you” until we got engaged. We also went strictly on buddy dates. I think this has given us a better chance than most nowadays.
@@justhavingfun9798 women tend to want to have sex faster than that. If man says no, she's insecure and he's gay. Let's wait didn't enter vocabulary. Buddy dates are friend zoned nice guys.
Never express your feelings to a woman, you will immediately regret it. First, they truly do not want to hear it. Secondly, and most importantly, they will lose respect for you. Remember, it is always about them.
Truth. My ex would shut down the conversation as soon as she knew that I was about to call her out as being wrong or a hypocrite-just like a lefty- she would say: “we’re done with this conversation”. No accountability and no responsibility.
My ex always asked me how guys can just "switch off their emotions, and not care about things." We don't switch off our emotions. We just act like we do, because of this. We have to. It's a survival mechanism. We're actually suffering in silence, and nobody realizes it, because nobody cares.
Brother that happens to me all the time I just suffer in silence because I know if I speak my mind on how I’m feeling he just takes that one word and everything else I was saying doesn’t even matter and then it gets turned back on me that I am the guilty party of feeling the way I feel and I’m not paying attention or understanding her emotions I don’t get it I don’t want to get it when things get like that I go out of my wood shop
Often I would tell my ex, you're in good shape as long as I'm talking, but when I get quiet, that's the time you should be nervous, not long after, we separated and then she divorced me, which that's what she wanted, she didn't have the guts to do it on her own, used me as a scapegoat.
Idk where you’ve been but I love your content. I’m a man going through a lot and anytime I open up to my wife she loads everything that makes a man seem weak and fires away at my pride, which has been butchered over the years. This is sooo true that a lot of women think mens feelings don’t matter and that is why so many men commit suicide because at the end of the day your wife is supposed to be the one that raises you up , supports you , stands with you and loves you. I told my wife how bad I was feeling one day and avoid it now and go numb to everything. I don’t like giving up but mentally abusing a man when he’s already hurting just cause you can and know he won’t hurt you is the dirtiest game out there.
I usually get the … “I’m hurt that your hurt by that…” Lol, never voice your emotions. Go to the gym, take out your stresses there. Only women, children and dogs are loved unconditionally. A man is loved based on what he provides.
We are over thinkers...i still think about what my husband, of 19 yrs, said 10 years ago. It wasnt criticism of me even...when i get in my feelings about it...i allow myself to feel it...for 5min...after that i check myself. I remind myself that he was expressing what he felt at the time and i cant be mad about that....especially 10 years after! If anyone was wondering, I've had 7 years of intense therapy to learn how to regulate MYSELF.
"Men's feelings don't matter!!" No truer words have ever been spoken!! Women DNGAF about your feelings and in fact, they DGAF about YOU! Go your own way, men!!
It's not specifically just women who do this... men do this as well. Narcissists do this tactic. Hearing the other person out is one of the most important things in a relationship!
This is just a fact, and once you learn it it helps you understand the male-female dynamic. As a man you should NEVER share negative feelings, especially saying that she made you feel this or that. She wants to know that you're strong enough not to be affected by her emotional shifts. If you must get help sorting through your feelings do it with a group of other men. On the flip side you ALWAYS share positive feelings, and most especially when it's due to her influence. This shift in thinking will change your relationships
I'm 40 years old, finally found who I am as a man, a masculine, provider and role model for my daughter, I've had several relationships where I've made mistakes, I've learned from them and now I don't accept any attitude, or miss behaviour. My services as a man/partner are extremely high value and if at any time I don't feel appreciated I will and have left, I don't put up with any shit any more.
I agree 100%. I never cry at things which aren't either happening to me personally, or a loved one. But I fucking CRIED about this.I already kinda got into this on my own comment, but my mother and older sister were 4th Reich Femenazis to the umpteenth degree. It led to repulsive behaviors too frequent to even get into. Then, as an adult, I encountered more when I got pregnant with my daughter. It was incredibly sad and sickening statements from the multitude of both men and women when I got pregnant. Literally EVERYONE with whom I discussed the issue claimed that it was stupid of me to give her father equal say in whether or not I carried the baby to term or had an abortion ( which now, I would never have an abortion after actually having had one, but I still wouldn't make him pay child support if he said 'no I don't want it' and I chose to anyway.) I explained that, although I'm the one who had to endure the agony of labor and difficulties of carrying her; the child is still HALF HIS. There's no getting around that. I'm so sorry for the things men are forced to endure, despite having protected and provided for us for the entire history of mankind. I'm so sorry and I appreciate you.
How many of us men has or still is going through this, if she gets mad at you then you have to be sympathetic but when you get mad at what she does then she gets pissed cause you're mad and she still tries to make it feel like it's all your fault... I can't be the only one going through that shit
I would talk to my X as calmly rationally and respectfully as i could. I would be met with immediate hostility. I would try to de-escelate all the while with her provoking me. When I would finally snap and respond with anger she would immediately cut off the conversation and say " I refuse to talk to you when your angry" Narcissistc gaslighting and manipulation.
My wife is a God send. I can be open with her and she gets me to my core. My first wife I walked on egg shells for ten years. Find you a person that lets you be you and that doesn’t judge you. I know that’s damn near impossible but don’t settle for anything less.
Exactly. My husband and I were best friends before lovers. We chose friendship first over romance and I’m glad we did because our relationship feels more solid and amazing then I think it would have been had we chosen to date the modern way.
I’ve been reading all of these comments and my experiences echo, identify with every last one of them because of experience. For me, the dumbest thing I could possibly do would be for me to involve myself with another female.
The best friend a man has in this regard is another man. Brothers, we need each other. Having experienced this, we all need to recognize that men's feelings DO matter. Someone DOES care how we feel. That somebody is us. As men we are our own best advocates and supporters. Find your homie and be there. Much love. #Manloveain'tgay
I don't understand these videos. Just because you encountered an immature, dysfunctional person who clearly wasn't ready for a relationship you lump all women, or all men, into the same category and claim they are all like that. You are incorrectly setting up false expectations for those ppl taking this as real advice. There are good ppl and bad ppl. Learning to decipher between the two is a good starting point in building healthy lasting relationships.
@@scot_irsh it seems you have the problem, not the ppl you date. I literally typed a paragraph saying I don't do that type of shyt and you claim that I do? 🤔 maybe your comprehension needs some work. 🤷♀️
I don't even tell my family what I be feeling. Every time I tried, it was either used against me or outright invalidated. Eventually, you just give up and stop trying at all.
It's true and I hate to say that I've been guilty of it myself! When I first met my husband, I would take things he said SO personally and judge him for it. All while expecting him to let me have my moods free of consequence or judgements. But that ain't how it works! I was only 19 at the time and now I'm almost 40. We've been together for almost 20 years and have 2 kids. We still have times where we're not doing our best together, but they're few and far between. When you love someone, working through your problems is about communication and compromise, NOT placing blame and being "right" all the time. Love is not a contest!
That's true. I'm not in a relationship and I understand as women we are so emotional but it takes a wise woman to know that constant nagging and complaining doesn't bring peace to a relationship. Since I started reasoning more about relationships and not take things too personally and emotionally , I've become alot happier to be honest and less hurt 😂 lol.
This is so TRUE!!! and women wonder why men don't say anything. Men's feelings don't matter until it benefits her! Men are best just to get a really good dog to talk to
This is so true I got the the point I felt unloved unwanted betrayed hurt the worse sadness I had ever felt. It took me 3 months to open up and tell my wife how I felt and what I needed. And that cost me almost 1 year of my life. Because she attacked me and said that it was my fault and my problem. Then she was extra mad at me for almost 1 year. All I want was for her to hear me and understand that I needed so love and some attention and some help with the house and kids, I also let her know that I knew I was asking for a lot. Even to thus day all I see that she loves is her phone and her books and her bed. I have adapted to this and found happiness in God and my kids, and with myself I see that I am a great person no matter how I am treated! So are you!
And there are not any groups for men any where! We need to at least be able to talk to men. Find someone that you can trust that is a man and do some talking get it out or it will destroy you
Or it’s her tv, phone, and couch. One of the worst things I did in the past was have a tv in the bedroom. This is a BIG mistake. At least she spends her time down stairs watching tv and when I want to get some sleep in my bed I can.
I never had a problem with my man expressing his feelings. But when my ex would do that while calling me names, belittling me, and accusing me of all kinds of nonsense when I didn't do anything to him I didn't put up with it. Express yourself without trying to wreck me in the process and I will support you.
This is why we still need our dads (if your blessed with a good one). Dad is the ONLY one who gets it. My heart goes out to my brothers who don't have a good father-son relationship.
Tip: It would be VERY helpful when a man has something to say to a woman, to first, sit next to her, be at eye level with her, and tell her in the most sincere voice possible, "I need you to hear me out, and pay attention to what I am about to say." Keep in mind, women have about a million different thoughts going on in her brain at this same time, while you ONLY have one. You must get her to focus only on what you're about to say. I can tell you that if a man did this to me, I would respect him more and pay attention to what he has to say. Try it.
She does this all the time. She doesn't listen to anything I have to say until she can use it out of context as ammunition. I love her in spite of myself......literally.
I am so sorry to all the men out there who feel like this. As a wife of 17 years, I can honestly say I've done my best to care about my husband's feelings and communicate in a healthy manner. Ladies, treat your man like you want to be treated! Be his "safe space".
I hate it when people do that. I have a person in my life who whenever I share my feelings and am really upset about something they did, they start crying, have a break down etc…(mind you I’m very respectful about it) and then I end up bottling everything I feel to comfort them. I bet it happens a lot more to guys than it downs to girls like myself, but I totally get it
Amen brother. A personality is only as empty as its heart. Our hearts are not empty, just full of sorrow only brothers can understand. Ask a woman to open up and do the same thing to them and see what happens. Just because you're human does not mean you're being human.
Lol the one word thing hits so true. I remember in a discussion once saying something along the lines of "i hear what you are saying but i disagree" the word "but" ..... From then on any use of the word "but" was apparently abuse 😂
This guy hit the nail on the head . Men`s feelings don`t matter . Women act like they`re the only ones that are allowed to have fellings . In the end that is all they will have . They won`t have me .
Yea this is true. The thing is this though by men I’ve been told, I am too emotional as woman. So I’ve adjusted and became rational and logical and pushed my feelings down. So now same men are talking to me about feelings while “I’m not allowed to have the feelings.” I ain’t the one that treated the men like crap yet they take it out on me? Nah bra figure it out the with person that messed you up not me. No feelings involved for me.
![เปิด อาณาจักร หมื่นล้าน "สาระตั้ม" l [Nickynachat]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/3XE0nPF4YkQ/mqdefault.jpg)
I’m a 29 year old woman who’s been married for four years. This channel has helped me see the errors in my behavior and attitude. Ive learned so much and have apologized to my husband for the hell I created in our lives. Since doing so he’s opened up about his feelings and struggles. I don’t say a word and just listen. Damn, I learned more about him in 30 minutes than I have in four years because he could be honest.
Big takeaway. My husband is not my enemy. If he wins, I win.
Society taught me I could have everything and sacrifice nothing. I deserved it because I was female. Feminism isn’t about equality at all-it’s about dominance and control and it’s fucking up my entire generation. I’m so sorry.
Ps I’m sharing this channel with all the women I know. I hope it helps us all become better humans.
If he wins, I win..
Fantastic 👍🏻
The harshest lesson you learn as a man is that no one really wants to hear about your feelings, hopes, fears and pain. Life teaches us that no good comes of opening up.
Sad but true.
Only other aware and safe men who have done their own personal work. Who will
Listen and not give advice until asked.
Yup, it doesn't take too many times of having your weaknesses exploited for men to stop telling people where those weaknesses are.
Is that harsh or the stepping stone to becoming the man you were supposed to be 🤔 Opening up and vulnerable to others and hearing the good, bad, and downright ugly has made me into the man I am today. I took those negative things and made them into useful information (Depending on the source. Ya can’t put value on a bad source).
@@orangetruckman That’s a fair point you make. I’m rather happy not feeling as though I’m reliant upon anyone else emotionally but that transition getting there wasn’t easy.
Men are better off expressing their feelings to other men.
No homo, just a being a friend in dark times.
I tell my therapist and counselor LOL if anything
Other good therapists are bartenders, they listen for tips.
If you have a beauryfull woman these simps will betrail you and ofcourse a woman wil betrail them about it.
@@virgilioaarsbergen5889 and that's why we swallow our feelings and move on. Hard to trust anyone these days including family
That's exactly what I do sometimes. She's supposed to be my best friend. And she always takes it personally because I have feelings.
Thank you Sarah. I've got a wonderful husband and you're helping me love him better. I appreciate your channel!
Its so true. It doesn't matter even if you try to talk to someone about it people still don't care how a man feels. My family comes to me when they want someone to talk to but as soon as I started to try to say what Im going through I am told to stop complaining.
That's because you're a MAN! Are not SUPPOSED to have FEELINGS!! Chris Rock was on the money: "Only women, children and DOGS are loved unconditionally!" If a man is gonna be ALLOWED to be around, he'd better be providing SOMETHING (money, security, DNA...SOMETHING!!)
Mood bro. Mood
I remember warm healing energy women used to have. Opening up was necessary for stronger bond and trust. Nowadays I'm scared to open up bcs my vulnerability is used against me even in the family.
I wish Men&Women were Allies in Love not enemies in hate&conflict.
@@youareprecious9108 that would be optimal and ideal, yes. Unfortunately, Mr. Smith was right..."Did you know that the FIRST Matrix was designed to be a perfect human world? Where everyone would be HAPPY? It was a disaster. No one would accept the programming. Entire crops were lost..."
As humans, we THRIVE on drama...females especially. If you don't believe that, look at the popularity of Soap Opera shows. Not JUST the daytime hourly' s but there are many more...Greys Anatomy...Chicago Fire...and that's just the "adult" ones, to say nothing of the "Vampire Diaries" universe, etc. All drama and all directed mostly at females.
Good ammo. I’m gonna use the “stop complaining” line back on them, which means I’ll be alone, which is now a relief :/
This is interesting and kind of eye opening. If I think about it, I've probably done this to my boyfriend, hurting him and silencing his voice when actually I'd like exactly the opposite...for him to open up and be able to share things he feels or any issue we may have, without having to walk on eggshells. Thank you, I'm definitely going to share this with him, check what he thinks and work on my end to never forget this aspect while communicating, to better understand and support each other.
No you shouldn't push your man to talk about his feelings.
Women have software running in the background that they don't understand. If he does what you want him to, you will dislike him on an instinctual level. You may not even understand why.
Women like this idea intellectually, but they don't like to experience it emotionally.
Women need, instinctually, a man to be a rock. A person that doesn't fall apart under emotional distress.
Part of of the protection/ provision neccesity, is the protection.
A women can not feel safe around a man that is emotionally soft.
A million years of wiring will not go away because you want it to.
Don't have him talk like that unless you want to assist with the degradation of your relationship.
Unless he's very young he probably already knows that it's a bad idea to open up to a woman, especially a romantic partner. I learned that lesson at nineteen. Haven't done it since. I'm 51.
If he’s been burned once the second time around is going to be tough. Burn him twice, if he’s even half a man, you’ll never get another chance. What you will get is, “It’s all good.” “I’m fine.” “No worries, just got some things on my mind, nothing serious.” “Doin’ good, thanks.” etc., etc., etc.
After he opens up, SNAP! just like a Venus Fly Trap. Got him!
Sorry...
Men in general just can't be bothered to be stabbed in the back by women anymore...
We don't talk about how we feel because at the end of the day nobody and I do mean NOBODY will give a shit! Not their dad, not their mom, not their SO... not a damn soul, should they ever dare trust someone enough to open up it will likely be the day that relationship dies, why? Because the other party has always been the kind to either tell you to stop complaining or they take that and use it as a weapon at a later date...
Your man is likely closed off emotionally for this very reason...
You can have a solid and strong relationship regardless and if you're sincere by simply doing everything you can in EVERY other way to show him you have his back and won't stick a knife in it.
LISTEN to him when he asks you to avoid certain people or if he states he's not comfortable with your guy "friend"
Act in accordance with his wishes (within reason, you shouldn't take abuse after all) and respect his standards... also understand that there will be times the 2 of you don't agree on things and that's OK! DON'T go on to try an manipulate, compell, or in any way threaten him by withholding your affection if he doesn't do as you want... again, within reason. Sometimes things really ARE a deal breaker but most of the time it likely isn't.
This literally just happened to me last week. She talks about how communication is key and blah blah, so as I'm telling her how I felt about something, somewhere in that statement, she decided her feelings were what mattered. You constantly have to walk on eggshells when bringing up anything because like he said, just the difference of one word can change the whole conversation. Expressing how you feel should never turn into an argument.
(Man)ipulation .
Stop giving a shit if she stays or goes and voice exactly how you feel. If she leaves then NEXT. Build your self enough to get to this mindset. A real woman will stay and learn. But for this to work she has to see you as high value man.
So true I'm going through the same thing now and I'm at the end of my rope and I am going to set things straight because I don't have to live that life style..
@@ppudoka Spot on, she wants to know, tell her in a manly way, don't mince words or get all mushy or feminine. She does not like it, tell her the door is right there, use it. But never tell her anything that she will later use against you. If you are in that kind of relationship, best to get rid of her. I divorced my wife for this and other reasons, no cheating, just the mental games. Fellas, they are not worth it.
And there are not any groups for men's health any where! We have to just start talking to other men!
On behalf of women I'm so sorry we've done this to you! Married nearly 20 years and just learning this stuff in the past few months. I've changed my behavior drastically. I love my man to death and when I told him a few weeks ago "Hey I just want you to know how much I appreciate all you do for us. You're an amazing husband and wonderful father." He looked stunned and replied slowly "Why are you saying these things?" He couldn't trust it! I felt so bad. I tell him all the time now. I've stopped talking over him. I've stopped correcting him. I tell him that I trust his best judgment on many decisions. Now I'm starting to reap more rewards because he's spoiling me like a Queen! ❤️
Yup, we just want to feel appreciated, that's all, and you see what happens when a man feels appreciated
A happy future for you! I’m so happy for you! Enjoy it! I tell women who will listen, “LOVE your husband, appreciate him, tell him when he does right.” I lost my husband of 21 years in 2010. We had a beautiful marriage.
Tpu shouldn't have beeded a wake up. You women aren't worth enough to treat us like shit. Your excuse isn't good enough. You should be dumped. You women deserve to have that energy back.
Well, I’ll just say that the behavior that your husband endured for the last 20 years is exactly why I will never, EVER involve myself with another female.
@Marty Sykes I actually wasn't a bad wife for 20 years. I was the bread winner for the majority of that time while he went to school and figured out what he wanted to do and he tried many things. But I wasn't perfect (still not). I was way better than most of my friends but not as good as I could've been. We women aren't really taught how to be good wives by society. I thought I was pretty good. But now I KNOW I'm being the best wife I can be. Hope you don't give up on marriage.
The best way for men to talk about their feelings is with one of the bros.
Facts!
You've got to be careful there too though.
Actually, it's the ONLY reasonably safe way, especially once you're past the age of 10. After that age, talking about your feelings, even with your MOTHER, is high risk if you're male.
No, the answer is men don't get to express feelings.
Nope. Close your mouth start your motorcycle, go for a ride. If you don't have a motorcycle, get one. If she says no, get a new she.
My favourite is when you are legitimately upset and tell your wife why you are upset and then she gets upset at you for being upset with her. Then you end up saying you’re sorry. That’s why it’s best to keep it to yourself
Like Canada…Blame Hallmark!!!
Share your feelings and it will come back to haunt you, guaranteed! After 32 years I found out I am “too sensitive”……now I don’t care, problem solved!
This is where I am although it’s been 33 years.
Yep
Figured it out at 23
Took me 28, no point in trying if every option is a loss
Figured it out in my early 20s.
Happy to say my wife helps me when Im down. Never once threw my emotions back in my face
This man just explained a decade of my life.
Been there too mate ..
One love
Sorry, brother. We stand together
Yup same here gents. 6 years of being shit and belittled by my ex and when i try to speak to family (female members) about it during and after the split it's clear that unless it's about them they just dont want to know. Made it very clear that all the words females say about share, open up blah blah blah feom girlfriends and family just dont mean shit
Oh... Dear.. 😣 there may be hope for you boys?
It was never the fault of any woman that you suffered this way..
Your parents own most of that.
Second place goes to the sad broken culture you grew up in.. it's not entirely your fault that the tools weren't there for you.
But I assume you can all read?
There are a good many books explaining the broken state of masculinity in the west.
The food news is you can start today👍
bump.....same
This shit has happened in almost EVERY argument my wife and I have had over the last 22 years. I say what I really feel, she latches on to ONE thing to make it about her, then she gets in her feelings, and I have to stop expressing my feelings and comfort/cater to hers.
Bottom line: stay single gents.
Amen
I started taking control of that and instead… refuse to cater to her feelings and tell her to either deal with it or get over it. What she does is out of my control but I’ll definitely not let her control how I should feel.
What you described is super common behavior for dismissive avoidant attachment type women
God took care of me sending my wife.
She is a unicorn compared to most. She actually listens and takes my feelings into account and we communicate very well.
I truly hope all good men find their unicorn women. They do exist
“What I’m about to say comes from a hurt place and I can recognize that” hits so deep.
In highschool I was dating this girl who (I recognize now) had such a low self-esteem that whenever I gave her a compliment it became a 'I'm not as good as...' argument. Took her to prom, but the relationship ended soon after.
I got tired of having each of my compliments turned into insults because I couldn't find a way to say something that she couldn't turn around and make an issue or insult.
Hey, babe, you look good today!
So, you're saying I didn't look good yesterday?!!!
The start of an argument...
it so true, I am a man and it's happening to me this so often, I just shed tears now after watching this clip. I don't know why those tears are coming, it's probably this guy really hit some nerve. And the girl who posted it, you are doing a great job exposing this, it's very needed, because some of us are treated like trash by the closest person.
It's because nobody actually cares about our feelings.
Last girl I was with complained that I didn’t share my feelings but when I did she accused me of trying to manipulate her make her feel sorry for me. Smfh lol
She revealed herself to you: a manipulator.
Quote verbatim from my wife, "You can choose to feel that way."
What do you think would happen if I flipped the script and suggested that to her?
If women really want men to express their feelings, they have to make it safe to do so.
If your man is not expressing his feelings, is it because you've made it unsafe to do so?
Even the best women I know do this, it makes me sad that logic and reason are never on the table when there is an issue.
Listen to this man. Don't listen to a woman who tells you she wants you to be more open with your feelings. It's BS.
I have to remind my wife many times, if you want a dialogue then leave your feelings outside otherwise I just want piece and quiet.
Thankfully, I just naturally recognized this myself 35 years ago too. Our relationship, "conversations" and communication got MUCH more peaceful, calm, manageable and infrequent when I said "ENOUGH". We agreed if something was important to her, we would talk about them on weekends, not after a 14+ hour work day (I worked 2 jobs M-F).
Plan
Sounds like you shoulda married a man 🤷♀️
This is so spot on. This is one of the many reasons why I’m not interested in the least about finding someone new.
This is just ONE of the many reasons, at 51, I'm happily single. 😇
Amen!
Ditto
58 and single but not happily.
My gf wanted me to apologize for… talking to another woman in my sleep. I refused to engage with her & she accused me of hurting her ‘feelings’. Her feelings over, her accusations of a dream. I called it stupid, she said I called her stupid & I said ‘the shoe is a perfect fit’. Took her a minute to figure it out, but she’s still mad two weeks later. 😂😂😂
My wife was upset for something I did in HER dream.
My girl is always mad at me because she had a dream I was doing something with some other girl in her dream when she wakes up she’s already mad at me when I wake up the perfect storm is waiting for me 😂
@@intellik56this is why I always laugh at women when they say they aren't any less logical than men.
He just described most of the democrat party and wall of woke-ism
This is 100% true. Happened in my marriage. It drove me to the point where I told my now ex wife I was sick of always hearing about her feelings. Probably not the best thing for me to say, and I can’t say it’s one of my proudest moments, but that’s where I was at mentally. I’ll never open up to a woman again as a result.
A while back I decided to just talk my feelings out with myself, I put up my emotional walls to the rest of humanity. They can’t use them against me if they don’t know what my feelings are.
I did the same thing too.
Yep. Sorry it's like that bro. Stay strong.
Talk to God. He can help you. But other than that, you are correct to keep your feelings to yourself.
I'm 65, been married twice. My walls around my emotions and feelings are so high I don't think I can take them down now. Single and I'll probably die that way.
This man is spitting absolute facts. "Anything you say can and will be used against you later."
Benn married 42 years. I learned a long time ago, through experience, keep your feelings to yourself. Any sign of weakness (feelings/vulnerability) will make her feel insecure. Remember, big boys don’t cry. Keep quiet, keep calm, press on.
This is so honest and truthful,,, thank you brother,,,, it helps to hear it from another ,, and Sarah, 👍 nice,,, this is a good way of spreading the love🙏🙏
Your parents love you for who you are, the rest of the world loves you for what you can provide. And the sad part is that alot of people don't even get good parents. Just a cruel world.
Truth! We have one mom (hopefully a good and nurturing one) every other female is not your mom, they are looking for resources: revenue stream, protection and status. And, if you should have children they are hers, not yours. And, the irony is that my mom sought my dad for those very reasons! Go figure. To quote my fist wife, before she abandoned my son and I, “You’re not becoming someone that I can say, ‘My husband this, and my husband that,’ fast enough.” So it goes.
So cruel I resent being brought into it.
shit.... half the time, parents don't like nor care about whom you become
Was gonna say, not everybody's parents love their kids for who they are. Some people have nobody, no parents, no relationships, just nobody. You are alone. Always have been. Always will be. Remember it.
I hate to have to admit this, but that made me so fucking sad.I am literally blinking back the tears.
My mother and older sister were the kind of women that the men were describing. I won't go into the horrific things that these 2 did to harm my dad,largely because they both hate men. I'll simply note that it's been just me and my dad since 1999.
When a woman says she wants you to open up to her what she really means is she wants you to tell her how much you love her.
Biiiiiiiiig facts.
Love isn't a "How much" thing.
It either is, or isn't.
Ever get that "you take me for granted!" accusation?
My answer is "yes, I absolutely do, and if you don't like that, you'd better think about what it means. Are you saying my vows were conditional? Were yours? You should take me for granted, too."
And that's the bedrock on which the relationship is based.
These videos are really helping my marriage. Thank you sooo freaking much!!!
Yep...been there...she'd wanna talk about her feelings and if I interjected with how I was feeling she ignored me until the next time we got into an arguement she'd take a few words or a sentance I said while she was voiceing her feelings and throw it in my face or when she realized the arguement wasnt going her way she'd take something from the past like 4 to 8 years prior and throw that in my face then stomp off like she'd dropped the mic and be mad at me for 1-2 days.
And if we as men act like we dont care we get the short end of the stick we always get the short end of the stick all the time come to think of it. Men have found its better just to man up and deal with it themselves rather than open up to his woman. Thanks for the double standard ladies.
If you act like it doesn’t phase you, she thinks you don’t love her anymore and don’t care about her. If you act like it does phase you and try to fix things, she will bring up more and more issues from the past. Why is it so hard to find a woman that is easy to be with? Why does it always have to be a battle?
@@MonsterKz69 yep and to add to that acting like you dont love her anymore suddenly you think she's a "fat ugly cow" or a varration of that as well as other crap like hating her somehow even though you've never ever said those kinda things even in a joking tone. They just randomly make shit up because they know the crap they are arguring over is dumb childish crap not grown adult crap.
todays women are being reared by inexperienced women in the first place. Remember when mom would be your biggest fan. Some of the finest women came from the 50s and 60s. 70s started discouraging feminine women and putting them to work. Nothing against that. It does pose futuristic problems.dont want to start an argument because i do respect today's woman. Makes it so much more difficult to sustain a strong stable relationship.
The best way to know you were in the right is when a woman drags up something you may have done in the past to deflect away from the present.
The one time I opened up to my gf, she laughed at me and said I was just trying to get attention. This was over 20 years ago. I have never discussed anything personal since. Anytime I even consider opening up to someone, her response pops into my head. It has basically killed any desire to date or marry since. I know it's irrational, but it's there nevertheless.
I thought I could open up to my girl.
When we first started dating I was closed emotionally and didn't share my feelings with her and told her I was fine and I was tough and could handle my own shit.
She told me I didn't have to be like that and that I could talk to her.
So I did.
At first it was fine but 2.5 years later I told her that I felt like I couldn't open up and really tell her what I think and how I feel and she used that as a reason to break up with me...
Wtf
Never again. Nobody cares about men's feelings. Not even the woman who wants you to think she does
Ain't that the sad truth
My advice, tell ya brothers or your boys. Imo I feel like my brothers the only one I can trust with confidential shit, and vice versa bc I got their back to the grave
@@TaterTotRiot Dam, if she's at the point of digging through your messages n using your personal business against you, I'd say just leave. To me that'd signal the trust is gone..out the fuckin window, n I wouldn't be able to look at her the same again. Hope it gets better for you bro
I didn't even get an RIP when 5 of my people died.
You dodged a bullet
What's crazy is a woman can remember something you said years ago in an argument, but forget everything they have ever said
I taught my sons while growing up, don't act on feelings that's what chicks do. You're a man act on logic.
Wise man.
Sarah, respect to you for showing this to the world. 😘. Through this I can see you are comfortable with yourself and that shows how strong you are as well as your level of emotional intelligence and maturity! Much love!
Every time I let my guard down and open up it is manipulated and used against me . And during those conversations it always ends up being about her. It also gets taken as criticism and shortcomings instead of being addressed or working together to fix it. A man doesn't need much. I love my woman. But she has hardened my emotions. Her biggest mistake is thinking I will always be there.
I’m sorry. I hope she realizes her mistakes and works to better the relationship.
Thank you for speaking up for men and giving them a voice.it means so much that some people can see were people not monsters at lest not all. Thank you.
At that point if she’s going to make it about her then you have to tell her to stop and tell her to care and if she doesn’t stop and learnt to grow as a person then you gotta go, I never have this situation with my partner bc I tell her, this relationship is about both of us but when I’m telling you how I feel don’t make it a downward spiral, we tell eachother how we feel then we move upwards from it from there, simple as that
Yes!
My partner and I have never had an issue with listening to each others feelings and actively try to make sure each other are ok... how is it this difficult for society to just put aside their egos and find closure together
Men don't matter, not just their feelings. Their health doesn't matter, their problems don't matter. Even when you die "she" will complain about why did you leave her.
@@TaterTotRiot that'll just create bad karma for you.
This is very true. 😞 I've done this to my husband without realizing it. As our relation ship has grown and changed over 17 years I have started to stop the cycle and apologize when I make him feel like this. It's hard but ladies this is soooo true. Men experience all the same emotions as we do and if they dare to express them it usually comes back to hurt them more.
This makes me wonder if there is something i do that hurts my gf without realizing it
Maybe it's bc I'm 6yrs older than my husband of 17yrs bc I appreciate when my husband tells me what's up. I was privileged & honored to be there to help him when we lost his parents from cancer during his early & mid 30'a. He doesn't do it often so when he does, I stop & listen. We might be an exception bc I do see females do this. I choose not to. I value him as my husband & the Father to our kids. Females:Plz Do Better!💕🙏🏻✌🏼
Exceptions to the rule all the more prove the rule.
SAME. But my husband and I have what is considered an “old soul relationship”. We were actually best friends before we were lovers. We didn’t say “I love you” until we got engaged. We also went strictly on buddy dates. I think this has given us a better chance than most nowadays.
@@justhavingfun9798 women tend to want to have sex faster than that. If man says no, she's insecure and he's gay. Let's wait didn't enter vocabulary.
Buddy dates are friend zoned nice guys.
Truth! He vocalized what men have & are dealing with!
Never express your feelings to a woman, you will immediately regret it.
First, they truly do not want to hear it.
Secondly, and most importantly, they will lose respect for you.
Remember, it is always about them.
Thank you Sarah, you’re doing good work. Seriously.
Sometimes the moment you express your feelings is the moment they think I own you now
Truth.
My ex would shut down the conversation as soon as she knew that I was about to call her out as being wrong or a hypocrite-just like a lefty- she would say: “we’re done with this conversation”. No accountability and no responsibility.
My ex always asked me how guys can just "switch off their emotions, and not care about things."
We don't switch off our emotions. We just act like we do, because of this. We have to. It's a survival mechanism. We're actually suffering in silence, and nobody realizes it, because nobody cares.
Brother that happens to me all the time I just suffer in silence because I know if I speak my mind on how I’m feeling he just takes that one word and everything else I was saying doesn’t even matter and then it gets turned back on me that I am the guilty party of feeling the way I feel and I’m not paying attention or understanding her emotions I don’t get it I don’t want to get it when things get like that I go out of my wood shop
Often I would tell my ex, you're in good shape as long as I'm talking, but when I get quiet, that's the time you should be nervous, not long after, we separated and then she divorced me, which that's what she wanted, she didn't have the guts to do it on her own, used me as a scapegoat.
@@31kiloradioraven63 I'm the same way. Once I get quiet, it means there's a problem.
@@Orion1015 👍
Idk where you’ve been but I love your content. I’m a man going through a lot and anytime I open up to my wife she loads everything that makes a man seem weak and fires away at my pride, which has been butchered over the years. This is sooo true that a lot of women think mens feelings don’t matter and that is why so many men commit suicide because at the end of the day your wife is supposed to be the one that raises you up , supports you , stands with you and loves you. I told my wife how bad I was feeling one day and avoid it now and go numb to everything. I don’t like giving up but mentally abusing a man when he’s already hurting just cause you can and know he won’t hurt you is the dirtiest game out there.
I usually get the … “I’m hurt that your hurt by that…” Lol, never voice your emotions. Go to the gym, take out your stresses there.
Only women, children and dogs are loved unconditionally. A man is loved based on what he provides.
Ugh I hate when they say that lame ass shit. Like GTFO of here!!!!
We are over thinkers...i still think about what my husband, of 19 yrs, said 10 years ago. It wasnt criticism of me even...when i get in my feelings about it...i allow myself to feel it...for 5min...after that i check myself. I remind myself that he was expressing what he felt at the time and i cant be mad about that....especially 10 years after! If anyone was wondering, I've had 7 years of intense therapy to learn how to regulate MYSELF.
Some women do not care about your struggles/feelings: they wait at the finish line and pick the winners.
"Men's feelings don't matter!!" No truer words have ever been spoken!! Women DNGAF about your feelings and in fact, they DGAF about YOU! Go your own way, men!!
It's not specifically just women who do this... men do this as well. Narcissists do this tactic.
Hearing the other person out is one of the most important things in a relationship!
???? ugh selfish response
Never tell her how you feel about anything... EVER! Most women aren't mature enough to handle it.
This is just a fact, and once you learn it it helps you understand the male-female dynamic. As a man you should NEVER share negative feelings, especially saying that she made you feel this or that. She wants to know that you're strong enough not to be affected by her emotional shifts. If you must get help sorting through your feelings do it with a group of other men.
On the flip side you ALWAYS share positive feelings, and most especially when it's due to her influence.
This shift in thinking will change your relationships
I no longer care. No longer interested in trying to navigate my way through a labyrinth from nowhere to nowhere.
I SERIOUSLY APPRECIATE..This woman's channel💯
They want to shut the men down and make it about themselves. It's a woman's immediate egotistical response.
I'm 40 years old, finally found who I am as a man, a masculine, provider and role model for my daughter, I've had several relationships where I've made mistakes, I've learned from them and now I don't accept any attitude, or miss behaviour. My services as a man/partner are extremely high value and if at any time I don't feel appreciated I will and have left, I don't put up with any shit any more.
I never comment on any of these but this one hit way to hard 😢
I agree 100%. I never cry at things which aren't either happening to me personally, or a loved one. But I fucking CRIED about this.I already kinda got into this on my own comment, but my mother and older sister were 4th Reich Femenazis to the umpteenth degree. It led to repulsive behaviors too frequent to even get into. Then, as an adult, I encountered more when I got pregnant with my daughter. It was incredibly sad and sickening statements from the multitude of both men and women when I got pregnant. Literally EVERYONE with whom I discussed the issue claimed that it was stupid of me to give her father equal say in whether or not I carried the baby to term or had an abortion ( which now, I would never have an abortion after actually having had one, but I still wouldn't make him pay child support if he said 'no I don't want it' and I chose to anyway.)
I explained that, although I'm the one who had to endure the agony of labor and difficulties of carrying her; the child is still HALF HIS. There's no getting around that. I'm so sorry for the things men are forced to endure, despite having protected and provided for us for the entire history of mankind. I'm so sorry and I appreciate you.
How many of us men has or still is going through this, if she gets mad at you then you have to be sympathetic but when you get mad at what she does then she gets pissed cause you're mad and she still tries to make it feel like it's all your fault... I can't be the only one going through that shit
I would talk to my X as calmly rationally and respectfully as i could. I would be met with immediate hostility. I would try to de-escelate all the while with her provoking me. When I would finally snap and respond with anger she would immediately cut off the conversation and say " I refuse to talk to you when your angry"
Narcissistc gaslighting and manipulation.
Yeah my feelings don't matter I think I will forever stay single
When he said, “You decided to pick one word-ONE WORD!”
Damn that hits lol…
Yup!!
Men need to stop caring about women's feelings. Women need men more than men need women.
Yes. This. This is what the world needs: More selfish men. K.
My wife is a God send. I can be open with her and she gets me to my core. My first wife I walked on egg shells for ten years. Find you a person that lets you be you and that doesn’t judge you. I know that’s damn near impossible but don’t settle for anything less.
Men, if you aren’t with a woman you feel comfortable opening up to, you’re with the wrong woman. Find real love, not sexual love.
Terrible advice.
When I was young and dumb I beleived the same nonsense.You haven't yet suffered the repercussions , that's all.
Exactly. My husband and I were best friends before lovers. We chose friendship first over romance and I’m glad we did because our relationship feels more solid and amazing then I think it would have been had we chosen to date the modern way.
bad bad advice
Agree 100% .. same experience for me my feelings were always a issue but her feelings always mattered
😔 I’m realizing I’m a jerk. I mean I do this minimally because I have five bros but when I have I’m so sorry men, I’m so sorry.
no your not.
I’ve been reading all of these comments and my experiences echo, identify with every last one of them because of experience. For me, the dumbest thing I could possibly do would be for me to involve myself with another female.
The best friend a man has in this regard is another man. Brothers, we need each other. Having experienced this, we all need to recognize that men's feelings DO matter. Someone DOES care how we feel. That somebody is us.
As men we are our own best advocates and supporters.
Find your homie and be there. Much love.
#Manloveain'tgay
I don't understand these videos. Just because you encountered an immature, dysfunctional person who clearly wasn't ready for a relationship you lump all women, or all men, into the same category and claim they are all like that. You are incorrectly setting up false expectations for those ppl taking this as real advice. There are good ppl and bad ppl. Learning to decipher between the two is a good starting point in building healthy lasting relationships.
That because every woman I've dated has done exactly what they are talking about. I bet you do it too, and it's not your fault... is it?
@@scot_irsh it seems you have the problem, not the ppl you date. I literally typed a paragraph saying I don't do that type of shyt and you claim that I do? 🤔 maybe your comprehension needs some work. 🤷♀️
You need to look and read the comment section before you 🤮. And I think you're having your episodes. Please take a hike inside your bathroom.
@@picklepoppers8223 what are you on about?
I don't even tell my family what I be feeling. Every time I tried, it was either used against me or outright invalidated. Eventually, you just give up and stop trying at all.
Not all women are like that! Just like not all men are the way feminist describe men!!! So let’s stop with these shorts
Unfortunately these dumb types of shallow women have the loudest voices so it’s really hard to find the sweet women out there.
@@justhavingfun9798 it’s really hard to find a good man
Yes they are they ALL are
@@thewillof3543Absolutely!!!!
Daily, I'm amazed at the wife I had before she passed away. I never experienced any of this stuff. She was so wonderful.
Yes, amazing that people who want everyone else to understand and sympathize with their “feelings”, but have no care or respect for others feelings.
It's true and I hate to say that I've been guilty of it myself! When I first met my husband, I would take things he said SO personally and judge him for it. All while expecting him to let me have my moods free of consequence or judgements. But that ain't how it works! I was only 19 at the time and now I'm almost 40. We've been together for almost 20 years and have 2 kids. We still have times where we're not doing our best together, but they're few and far between. When you love someone, working through your problems is about communication and compromise, NOT placing blame and being "right" all the time. Love is not a contest!
That's true. I'm not in a relationship and I understand as women we are so emotional but it takes a wise woman to know that constant nagging and complaining doesn't bring peace to a relationship. Since I started reasoning more about relationships and not take things too personally and emotionally , I've become alot happier to be honest and less hurt 😂 lol.
Bravo, well said, well put. This is a common theme with everyone not just females.
He is NOT wrong at all! That feeling a man has when we open up....waiting for the day for you to bring it back and make it about you
This is so TRUE!!! and women wonder why men don't say anything. Men's feelings don't matter until it benefits her! Men are best just to get a really good dog to talk to
This is so true I got the the point I felt unloved unwanted betrayed hurt the worse sadness I had ever felt. It took me 3 months to open up and tell my wife how I felt and what I needed. And that cost me almost 1 year of my life. Because she attacked me and said that it was my fault and my problem. Then she was extra mad at me for almost 1 year. All I want was for her to hear me and understand that I needed so love and some attention and some help with the house and kids, I also let her know that I knew I was asking for a lot. Even to thus day all I see that she loves is her phone and her books and her bed. I have adapted to this and found happiness in God and my kids, and with myself I see that I am a great person no matter how I am treated! So are you!
And there are not any groups for men any where! We need to at least be able to talk to men. Find someone that you can trust that is a man and do some talking get it out or it will destroy you
Or it’s her tv, phone, and couch. One of the worst things I did in the past was have a tv in the bedroom. This is a BIG mistake. At least she spends her time down stairs watching tv and when I want to get some sleep in my bed I can.
Definitely more accurate than I care to admit. When it comes to men and our feelings, we are alone
you are pure genius Sarah!!!
I never had a problem with my man expressing his feelings. But when my ex would do that while calling me names, belittling me, and accusing me of all kinds of nonsense when I didn't do anything to him I didn't put up with it. Express yourself without trying to wreck me in the process and I will support you.
This is why we still need our dads (if your blessed with a good one). Dad is the ONLY one who gets it. My heart goes out to my brothers who don't have a good father-son relationship.
I agree 100%. I'm that lucky and blessed ❤️
Tip: It would be VERY helpful when a man has something to say to a woman, to first, sit next to her, be at eye level with her, and tell her in the most sincere voice possible, "I need you to hear me out, and pay attention to what I am about to say." Keep in mind, women have about a million different thoughts going on in her brain at this same time, while you ONLY have one. You must get her to focus only on what you're about to say. I can tell you that if a man did this to me, I would respect him more and pay attention to what he has to say. Try it.
This isn't about you anymore :) It's about us and let it be that way. It's not about you for once
@@joshuaatkins4360 Yeah, your talk beginning that way is immature and would result in more drama. It's your choice.
It's amazing. I hear exactly exactly what I've said to my partner. You are 100% right.
She does this all the time. She doesn't listen to anything I have to say until she can use it out of context as ammunition. I love her in spite of myself......literally.
I am so sorry to all the men out there who feel like this. As a wife of 17 years, I can honestly say I've done my best to care about my husband's feelings and communicate in a healthy manner. Ladies, treat your man like you want to be treated! Be his "safe space".
I hate it when people do that. I have a person in my life who whenever I share my feelings and am really upset about something they did, they start crying, have a break down etc…(mind you I’m very respectful about it) and then I end up bottling everything I feel to comfort them. I bet it happens a lot more to guys than it downs to girls like myself, but I totally get it
Amen brother.
A personality is only as empty as its heart.
Our hearts are not empty, just full of sorrow only brothers can understand.
Ask a woman to open up and do the same thing to them and see what happens.
Just because you're human does not mean you're being human.
Lol the one word thing hits so true. I remember in a discussion once saying something along the lines of "i hear what you are saying but i disagree" the word "but" ..... From then on any use of the word "but" was apparently abuse 😂
This guy hit the nail on the head . Men`s feelings don`t matter . Women act like they`re the only ones that are allowed to have fellings . In the end that is all they will have . They won`t have me .
I’ve done that in the past for sure. And I’ve had it done to me to bring it to my attention. You reap what you sow eventually, but always..
Yea this is true. The thing is this though by men I’ve been told, I am too emotional as woman. So I’ve adjusted and became rational and logical and pushed my feelings down. So now same men are talking to me about feelings while “I’m not allowed to have the feelings.” I ain’t the one that treated the men like crap yet they take it out on me? Nah bra figure it out the with person that messed you up not me. No feelings involved for me.