My husband, before we were dating called me his “future wife” when we were just talking. No clue till after we were married. We never lived together before marriage, but I would get up at 6am to go to his house and help with who would be my son (step son). I took over my stepson’s schooling responsibilities and meds, so my husband could work and go to school. I was told how I was setting women back by doing his laundry, and confused others by not living with him before marriage. Now I was and still am being his helper while still doing what convicted me by my faith. Stop caring what other women think you should and shouldn’t do in a relationship. Do what makes sense to improve your relationship.
Just because that worked for you it doesn't mean it works for the vast majority of women who do this. There's a line a thousand women long who did all the wife stuff and are still the girlfriend a decade later.
My wife did the same thing. We didn’t live together until we got married. We didn’t even sleep together until we got married. People want to play out and live together and act like husband and wife but they’re not. Well according to god if they live together they are so honestly if the man won’t commit to marrying the woman and the woman doesn’t want to do wifely thing then leave. When you date someone you should go into it with the attitude that you’re going to marry that person. This is in response to someone that sent there still a girlfriend after a decade
Yup! My wife and I didn't live or have sex together until AFTER marriage. Everybody would be like "how will you know if you like living together or what if sex sucks" umm idk but it takes practice. Been married almost 2 years and we've been learning how to live with each other every day. It's not a difficult concept lol
He's never going to be a husband for anyone other than his imaginary image of himself. Also he basically called this woman he's using for free sex for YEARS trash. And that's okay with you guys
His point is that he is already doing husband things without being married, whereas his gf says she doesn't want to do wife things when they are not married. Never marry someone who demands it
What even is wife or husband things? I think we complicate things greatly Two people should do things because they love each other,not because of weird stereotypes we have trapped ourselves too.
@@γιουργια only person complicating things right now is you. It Ain’t no “weird stereotypes” I’m a Man and you are a woman, we ain’t built the same. I am my wife’s leader and she is my follower.
@@BRlGADE_KINGPIN lmao no Your wife is your equal If you want to control the other person in a relationship,you are just an abusive piece of shit. I don't want my wife to be my follower,i don't want my wife to be a stupid weak person. I want my wife to be strong, opinionated and call out my bs if i say bs,same the other way around. I want a person by my side,not a doll
What she said about not doing "wife things" is a narrative being pushed out by alot of black media. Just look at Steve Harvey. Honestly I'm on both sides with this because it really depends on the person. I put out what I get back, and if I see that someone is giving 100%, I will give the same energy back and that's for the other side of the coin as well. Some people don't deserve wife qualities.
Really, being friends should be the interview, dating should be the preview and marriage should be everything you’ve seen since day one. Honestly, if you care about someone, being friends should be enough to treat someone like gold and do things out of love for a friend. I did everything for my husband that I do as a wife today for him when we were best friends and I wasn’t even interested in a relationship with him at the time, but I loved him because he was my best friend.
@@JacquelynRivera930 friends are thr sweet spot of life, you should treat them like gold so long as they do the same, but the job of spouse isn't what they're around for. That's why dating us the interview. From vetting each other, seeing how the other is in many of life's problems, do they stick around when things go bad, do they share values, where do they see themselves in the future; kids, career, etc. Marriage is a life long job and commitment and between the married partners it's the two of you vs the world. Dating is just the interview to see if they line up with all of that, friends are friends. I don't view them as candidates of dating but it can happen and that's when the real interview begins.
@@KingNirada Hate to break it to you, but the basis of a wonderful relationship, starts out with a great friendship! These are all things you should do for your friends, not just your partner.
Women, don’t listen to these lowlife males. They want to use everything about you, your body, time, affection, sex, make you a maid and a chef and when they get bored they’ll throw you and get the next one without having any financial obligations towards you. Don’t be a slave to them. Trash.
Needed this video this morning, got out of a relationship just like this after 6 years. Sometimes people don't realize what they have until it's gone, now lord please give me the strength not to go back to her.
Don’t go back.. EVER! I paid dearly for my freedom last year. It helped that she went on a six month vacation out of the country (paid for using my money of course) while I stayed here and was forced to settle all of our affairs (both of us) the divorce; vetting realty agents; getting the house ready to list for sale; the negotiations for the actual sale; moving everything out; cleaning the house; hiring movers and storing my things and hiring people to haul her crap out, which I had to pay for also. Her vacation stretched on into 9 months as the country she was in, went into koof lockdown with zero flights leaving for months. On the day she gets back, I get a call from her out of the blue: “Where is all my stuff”? I laughed in her ear and told her it was all at the dump.
Your not alone Tom, I'm going through something simular. 2 years together and I love her but she's dragging me down. I know if I go back eventually I'll have nothing left to give and won't be able to help either of us.
What you are saying has back fired on me several times I show that I am a good woman and then I get cheaters and liars and abusers and people who only want my money one guy even told me I was too sweet of a person and I was just being myself
@@Reynakeya37 Yep, sadly that's something we need to figure out for ourselves why we are not seeing the red flags in men who are not stable. That is important, seek a therapist and learn how to see the signs of a good man over a player.
@@Reynakeya37that's because you're being wifey material to the wrong men work on your standards and don't just date any man that gives you the time of day. As a man, we like women that know how to respect us, but also knows how to respect themselves. This doesn't mean don't be humble, it just means that you have to start be better at looking for the right qualities in mem
@@Reynakeya37How many times has dating backfired on men... Yet women still expect us to make the first move, take control, spend monet... let alone any type of serious relationship. Stop whining and pick it up... or stay single
@@Reynakeya37I agree, you can be wife material to men who preach they are good guys just for them to use you up, its better to stay single people act like being single is a terrible thing. Im just cooking only for myself cleaning only for myself and taking care of bills by myself men dont do 50/50 anymore they want you to doll up, go to school, have a job, take care of bills and all the house chores, they can be living at moms, work out and call themselves high value.
Women, don’t listen to these lowlife males. They want to use everything about you, your body, time, affection, sex, make you a maid and a chef and when they get bored they’ll throw you and get the next one without having any financial obligations towards you. Don’t be a slave to them. Trash.
He just wants yo have sex with her and make her his slave without legal obligations towards her. Women have self respect. That’s why your society you find it hard to find men that would propose.
Show your worth , you don't reserve it until you comfortable, he shows his housband worth because that's who is , now he sees she is holding back for the wrong reason that's who she is now that you know wat you have acept it or bounce
@@hotz1005 That depends on what he means by showing his worth. He talks about being a provider and a protector, but the there are levels. Opening doors for her, keeping her away from the curb, and paying for meals aren't husbandly duties. They're indicators of generosity and manners. Paying her bills and buying her groceries/big ticket items (house, car, etc.) are husband duties, and he should not be expected to do with them unless they are are married. The same is true of women. Being a positive, enriching force and strong emotional support are not wifely duties. Cleaning his house constantly, cooking most of his meals, and having his children are. She should not be obligated to do any of those things without the security of marriage.
Facts you should never have to explain what’s evident. Either they see and value it or they have a different value system. That value system won’t change automatically once you marry them
@@tosinakin2508 "opening doors for her, keeping her away from the curb, and paying for meals arent husband duties" while i dont care for the first two due to the fact the first one can be applied to anyone and the second one makes zero sense because a car jumping the curb hittin ya both. The third one however, im perplex about because you say its an act of generosity yet a woman isnt expected to do that. Infact its looked down upon if a woman goes 50/50 or pays. How would a man know to marry a good wife if they arent showing those qualities? Same honestly could be said vice versa.
Interestingly enough, I was a girlfriend doing wife things, as that’s who I am instinctively and guess what? He took advantage of that and decided to have other “girlfriends/ wives” elesewhere. I’m glad to report I didn’t change myself and found a man who was ready for wifey material.. he recognised and made me his wife. Previous relationship caused me a lot of pain though and it was hard to trust.
Y’all look for the wrong types of quality red flags popping up all over and you still chose to stay which is a sign of y’all having a good heart but gullible as all hell, learn your red flags and if you see it in someone immediately walk away, cuz once they show their true colors that’s who they really are
I'm very happy for you and your marriage. I understand giving someone your "All" for it to be not reciprocated and even taken advantage of. It was very wise of you to let that bad experience mature you rather than letting it turn you bitter. Congratulations on your success!🤟
It’s very disappointing that your previous relationships carried into your new one whom had nothing to do with your previous ones (just assuming by the way you told it) but glad things are for the better and happy to hear another human succeeding in this lame world.
You should invite him to celebrate that moment having a few beers, he took away a lot of problem off ypur shoulders, now is his problem, so be gratefull and happy . .
Oh shit... mine says same shit this one does sometimes, but she’s good other times. No games. Patrice O’Neal had the best relationship vice. He said woman will always want more from the man an try to break him, because woman love to test men, but what they really want is a strong man, don’t ever start making your girl/wife feel like the boss to be nice. Always keep her in line. She 2nd in command. Losing control of your role will fuck the relationship and she’ll never admit it or warn you, women will avoid confrontation, she’ll just leave one day completely fed up. And a lot of woman don’t “love”. Your an object, you’ve got value. That’s the hardest thing for us men to understand? They’re not attracted to us as much as they are to what we have to offer, or our status, what we can buy, the future we can offer them. Super rare to find a woman with loyalty when your at your weakest. Don’t ever take your partner for granted unless you don’t care if they leave. Stay trying to impress them, women always care about cheesy sentiments, flowers, compliments, gifts. They obtain there value through social feedback. Hence why their girlfriends and parents always sharing advice for them to try, and they listen and do it! In the end some say it’s safer to care or love someone less then they love you, sad but true...
I realized this before I married my fiancé. I realized there’s no circumstance that will change who she is at her core. And though I loved her, she did not meet me in a loving mindset. It was the most difficult choice I ever made to leave someone I cared so deeply about, but I knew it was the correct decision.
Going through the same thing, I can do everything but she still hasn’t displayed any wife qualities and I know she won’t, good person but doesn’t cook or clean and isn’t all that affectionate, I am actually ending it with her tomorrow when I see her, I’ve tried to talk to her too many times about this
@@thedilkdon112 We are similar I fell in love with a girl that is totally opposite of me in totally everything Even personality and even in birthdays date We are more than day and night and she soon enough became my gf She doesn't cook or clean she actually does nothing She is so disrespectful of my choices and doesn't bother to ask me how I am or how do I feel We are a girlfriend and a boyfriend but we are less than that.. less than friends.. Am usually optimistic but she is the total opposite I am trapped with her just because I love her although she disobeys me in litterly every single thing whether big or small I promised her that I will marry her but.. I only did that because I loved her at that time but now although I still love her but I think that I won't get anything but toxicity from this relationship Please don't make my mistake
@@thedilkdon112 You got this Jay. You are making the best decision. You both need to uplift each other and if that isn’t happening, it’s okay to walk away. You got this, I’m rooting for you.
This was a great reversal because so many women are told not to give a man wife privileges. When the Bible clearly states a man that finds a wife finds a good thing and find favor with God
She definitely the type of girl to say “My wedding was the best day of my life” Not realizing she’s already perceiving their marriage going downhill. I’ve come to notice that women view marriage as a “special day” kind of like a birthday instead of a lifelong commitment towards a relationship. That day is supposed to be the start of something beautiful. Not the peak of it.
And that's the mindset he's talking about! If you don't show that you have husband/wife in you, how is something supposed to see you as nothing more than were you are. If you want a promotion at work, are you going to just sit there showing you are a good level 1, or are you going to show you are a good level 1, and but hey, look, I'm also a great level 2 as well? Your work for the position you want, not the position you have.
Don’t change because of the other person is not worth it. Just move one till you find the right person. That is the right way. Otherwise when the right person comes by and doesn’t find the husband material in you they will move on.
People make it so complicated. Your partner should put in the same level of effort that you are putting into the relationship. If one is working hard, the other one should feel motivated to work hard too. Marriage or not - it's a teamwork effort and not a school group project where one does all the work.
True but also false. Marriage or any relationship is never 50-50. My wife says it all the time and it's true. There's going to be times when it's 50-50 but most of the time it's 75-25 or even 99-1. Everyone is going to have ups and downs, everyone individually goes thru highs and lows. When my wife is down for whatever reason she may only be able to give 10%, but I'll be there to make up the other 90% bc I know when the time comes that I can only give 5% she will make up the other 95%. Things happen and very rarely in a relationship are both parts giving equally at the same time. But to be holding back because of a piece of paper like this is crazy af. Give all you can give your partner all the time, even if it's only 20% at some times but give that 80% back when you can as well.
More like they are qualifying for a position. They need to start acting like the position they want before even being hired! If they dont like it now its better they know before marriage
This reminds me of another video but I can't remember who it was. just that if you didn't have context it would sound sexist towards women. This gunu bother me til I find out who said it. Somewhere along the lines of if the man is working and the woman isn't then she should be doing the other half of the work at home taking care of cleaning n cooking. If you're both doing both then great but if not then atleast the other partner no matter who it is should be doing the other half
I asked my baby mama when do her wifely duties begin? After the wedding? I work hard, bought us a new home, treated her daughter I didn’t make with her like my own and she still wouldn’t do right. She wouldn’t do shit for me even after I proposed and put that ring on her finger. She wanted a wedding but not the responsibilities that come with being a wife. After 8 months leading up to the wedding and seeing nothing from her I called it off. Within a couple months a woman came into my life and did everything a wife should do without me even asking because that’s just who she is…so I married her. I love her so much. We’re together and happy to this day and she never changed on me while my baby mama is bitter and getting used one guy after another looking for what she already had but didn’t see and that’s her fault. I told her this is what would happen. I guess she thought I didn’t know what I was talking about
... and guess what happens when these same useless human being don't get what they want? Divorce, Parental Alienation and litigation costing the other, $$$$, to see their child or children whilst paying Child support through the teeth....
Waiting will only allow the satanic cult to totally eradicate natural laws and values from society. Women are the target because they control sex. Now that sex is free, human value is gone.
And what would the man want that isn’t for him? Clean his house clean his clothes go grocery shopping for him paying the bills bc it’s annoying to deal with cook for him etc people in relationships both get something out of it it’s not just love and butterflies it’s also the fact they do stuff that makes the others life easier ask any dude would you rather have less money and not deal with these annoying things or more money and you got to do everything plus work 99% of dudes would pick a little less money lol 😂
@@whiteperson1742 its not really related but I was offered lots of money (hike) to join new company, but I would basically be alone and will have to deal with problems on my own i.e. without a team's help. I was like that for 4 years straight. Now I have a team, with less money I dont even mind, we work for the money but that extra relax time knowing that someone is there to cover if need be is a great feeling. Same goes to marriage too I guess in a way. Now my wife is sick due to early pregnancy, I have to do all the cooking and cleaning of the house, and taking care of her job(self employed) . Which I dont really mind, of course it is frustrating and streeful sometimes. Dressing the first child for school, she is only 1st grade. Pick up and everything. But the point is, she is there when I need her, and I will surely be there for her, marriage is for bad times and good times. We cant have only the good times. We got both.
@@Marta_Fanai see you understand it most people commenting oh women are just leeches or they just want things are children once they grow up and have responsibilities and a real relationship they will see women do a lot for men that makes their life waaayyy better and less stressful I’m a father of two own a home 2 vehicles 2 dogs and 2 cats the thought of working taking care of my kids the animals cleaning laundry shopping etc would be hell
Amen!!! I told my aunt this right before my fiance proposed. I was a lil worried he wouldn't. But I told her I'm a wife not a gf. Imma hold myself to that. Now if someone is taking advantage of that. You have to spot that and use the spirit of discernment. But husbands and wives your character shouldn't be limited to circumstances. My ex made me feel like I couldn't have marriage with them. I wasn't who they wanted and that was fine. Move on.
GF is a parasite who wants to lock in access to his resources BUT she isn't doing the feminine affectionate things while he is doing the protect and provide things.
Notice how she mentioned what he does for her, never anything significant about his character/personality. She could literally fill in any other man who does the same thing, he isn't special to her.
What she said was biblically sound that dows dwscribe hos character. Many men don't do this what did you want her to say .all the things she named would make any REAL MAN proud it it absolutely would be reflected on his character.
Uh doing all those things is a show of his character and morals, tf are you talking about? Many ppl dont act like that especially in the todays worl. Yall so fake deep, trying to relate your traumas as wisdom in these comments, it hurts
Why would anybody commit to someone not capable of carrying them off that's what's needed for a time? Men (old school)don't think of a woman doing that. We should be evaluating for wife material while seeing ourselves as the opposite.. All that premarital hooking up is so close to useless cause your ain't the same person when you cross over. You don't know what's on the other side till you get there. z Then you stay finding out more about yourself cause you got a taking thinking mirror living with you. Your glasses will be revealed and you get to grow. It should work both ways. Two imperfect people helping each other become the best version ever. What's the long term and short term goals and are they on code with your family/community or are you gonna find yourself on an island when you need an army/community?
This was very intriguing 🧐. He calling her out by basically saying, “He has to do husband duties for her for her to see a husband in him; but she can’t do wifey duties for him for him to see the wife in her?” WOW! 😮
Keep dropping these necessary enlightenments!!!!! I don’t have social media, but TH-cam comes on phones at purchase. However, I’ll watch stuff like this because it’s “good fruitful, and has enriching substance”.
Women are loved based on what they give. Lol. Body, beauty, age, ….. women are loved based on shallow reasoning (physical appearance). Men are desired and chosen based on resources. That makes sense. There are always conditions. Men don’t just give love. I hate this quote. Stop it. Lol.
Excellent work Jeremy! I hope bro realize the target is to be build themselves to be a husband and not to meet their requirements and the right wife will show up. A man that finds a wife... You know the rest.
Those are the small things that you shouldn't take for granted. But a lot of people do. I'm with you bruh. Helps me work better when my wife hits me with one of those "I love you back baby". I'm saying right?
@@purplesoul9927 Agree 💯 When you see the qualities of a Good man or a Good woman, the next stages should be towards marriage. When that 'Trial period' is not exercised... The relationship becomes stunted in its growth and one or both individuals will end up reaping the benefits without the intention of even getting married.
I felt him. I been in relationships like this, but it was the opposite. This goes for men and women: stop giving them the husband/wife package when they only giving boyfriend/girlfriend!! Know what you have and respond accordingly!!
This was legit my last relationship/marriage. I had to constantly ask for simply things prior to marriage and then when I married her nothing changed. Maybe for a half a year but if it’s not in her it’s not in her. But my current lady the love is endless 💯🌹
So glad I never married my gf of 8 years!!! I would wake up , make Both of us breakfast, do the dishes, make the bed when she got up. Take her out shopping, then out to eat, then to a movie, then back home. Then I’d do a wash that night before bed, take a shower , get in bed and go to sleep. Then she got mad cuz she thought I was using her for sex, for 8 years??? I was using you??? Nah you were using me bro. Glad I dodged a bullet.
I just broke up after 7 1/2 doing everything. Im very caring person. I pay all the bills and drive and work a 40 hours or more a week to pay my rent. She wouldn't help me with anything gives me the excuse that i should ask for her too cook....? Why you know i work 10 to 12 hours a day. Nothing has really changed.....ive gotten to the point and now im hoping ill eventually find a women on my level.....im tired if doing it all and not getting the support i deserve.
@@fadishehada8896Therapy and learning to truly value yourself and others. Some people are just not compatible and thats okay! I spent alot of time suppressing my natural self trying to make myself a person that is marraige material and trying to mold others into it. If someone you are with for years says that they don't find you worthy of the title you want it's time to possibly break up and really look into yourself and heal with therapy and truly taking accountability. This video just confirms the games we play. Her staying knowing she isn't what he wants ,ripping away privileges from him and him keeping her there although he isn't really happy enough to see her as anything other than a girlfriend even though she blatantly let's him know she wants to be a wife is not okay. It's a relationship that creates loopholes and brings out your worst self. The best thing you can do in situations like these is be vulnerable and really willing to leave. Sorry this comment took so long. I wish you the best 💖
Just watch who u get with I was with my wife before my wife for 5 years b4 we got married, and after being married to her for 16 years, I still don't regret a thing. I love her with all my heart.
Getting to know the person you date a long time before getting married and moving in together is key. I was with my husband 9 years before we got married and we never lived together before getting married but we would talk a lot about how we would work out problems when we got married. In September we will be together 15 years but only married for 6.I don’t regret anything either and I would die for my husband to save him if I had to. He is the one that my soul loves.
Just nice to know that real men exist and not these men that try to manipulate women into giving them everything while they give nothing. At the end of the day after a woman has had chiy for a man that has not married her, he can take all of that and leave without her with nothing! Real men don’t manipulate they just do what comes natural.
@@kitty1977 yall really lack intelligence. Women sacrifice a lot to be a wife and mother. You all don't give birth which is very dangerous endeavor. It leaves you vulnerable and dependent for a period of time. You have to sacrifice income and experience on the strength that a man will provide for you during this time. What woman with sense would do that knowing you could walk away without consequence? Only a fool
@@acephalos5026 whole point of ops comment and mine went over your head...even if I stay home and cook and clean, that's not providing income or experience that employers will use. Still making a sacrifice to keep him happy but if he decides he wants to leave, I would have no recurse and would have lost out on time and experience I could have given to someone else, even if that person was me. At least if I'm married, I can get alimony while I train and raise my income after sacrificing. Yall don't think like that because a lot of ppl are inherently selfish and not cooperative
@@acephalos5026 if you're dating someone, you should be able to see if they are kind, caring, cooperative, hard working, etc over time. No need for me to give you all my efforts in an attempt to prove something because trust me, most men are not fundamentally decent these days and usually just take advantage. Know too many women who've done this only to be left and have them marry literal gold diggers after. Men love gold digger trophy wives, it's pretty obvious. Men don't care about this stuff as much as they say they do; especially when they have money to pay for staff. Unless he's paying all my bills then the answer to doing all that would be hell to the no.
So did i, I cooked, cleaned, worked, am a great mom, and wife and after a year and having his baby i guess I am still not worthy. So why keep doing wife duties once he told he will never marry me.
@@luisannalisasotelo7201Doea he not do husband duties?? Does he not pay for?stuff, provide and protect??? Ask him what you're missing to make that commitment instead of assuming you're worthy. He clearly thinks you're missing something.
@@constant1991great response my brother. It's like as a man,you're not allowed to dislike things about women. Most of them believe they dont have any errors.
This is actually accurate. Everyday you see posts of, "Don't do wifey things without the ring" or "Don't do girlfriend without him asking you." but in order for the guy to ask her he has to bend over backwards and break his back. Not all women are like this, 100% but this behavior is way more common than a lot of females would ever admit.
Its only extremely common for the nice guy. And vary rare for a narcissistic åsshöle that makes her feel so bad that when he does something nice she admires that man 100 times more than she ever would for a nice guy who seems like he is simping.
Your mixing contexts. That applies to women that start off doing “wifey” things for a man that’s not returning the same level of support. That’s why women raised their standards. This video is specific to less common, more responsible men.
You're a 100% right, It is very common, You're programmed by everyone around you as a little girl Basically don't give away the milk unless they buy the cow senerio. Fairtales don't help this.( No I'm not calling women cows😅)
As a mature woman this is very interesting and thought provoking. At the time of dating my now disease husband he expected me to cook dinner whenever he came over my house. After having a conversation with my dad he said you’re not married to him, you’re not obligated to do anything that a wife would do. and it made sense when you’re dating you do dating things nowadays people are living together doing husband and wife things and expecting something to change.
Your the exception to the rule. You evidently didn't see "husband qualities" in your "disease" husband when you felt an issue with him expecting you to cook everytime he came over, especially since you ran to your pops about him. You shouldn't of never married him in the first place cause you didn't enjoy cooking for him. You got married for the wrong reasons more than likely. You knew who your husband was before you married him.
@@willoftheelect3476 First of all You are wrong in your thought process. If I didn’t want to marry him I wouldn’t have . Also if he didn’t see qualities in me irregardless to cooking he wouldn’t have asked to marry me. We remained married as a Christian couple for well over 20 years until he passed away. you don’t know anything about my marriage so that was a negative call on your part. My father was a man who had great qualities that I looked up to and of course I would get his advice. I was blessed to have a father and mother who could guide me in that process. my parents were married almost 50 years until death. God is our counselor🙏🏾
That's only when you think of marriedge as "the goal". Comming from me, a woman who wouldn't like to get married because I don't like the contract, the "wife things" only mean "sharing a life with someone else and doing your part". And those things should only be done when you live under the same roof, not before. There's no obligation if you don't actually share space, but when you start sharing roof then everyone should do something for each other and the home (no matter who does what). So I'd say your father's advise was missleading
You are what you can provide. That how men are measured, just accept it an move accordingly. Women always look at what we can provide first, everything else comes second. Just like men start with physical attraction and everything else comes after. It's biological, they need to know you can take care of them and potential kids. Women always want a man that makes as much if not more money than them
Why shouldn't someone care about what their partner can provide. It's pretty important to have provisions. Do you forgo having a comfortable living for someone who can't sustain you or themselves in a stable way? I'd rather have a competent wife than a wife that is fun to hang out with, but ultimately a strain on my financial or mental state. And i don't think that's wrong.
Hey Not always !! 😆 But I don't belive in forcing anyone to get married. If they aren't giving their all to you already then chances are they never will so I agree sometimes that's true.🤣
She's a side chick to him. His no commitment milk cow. This sketch does seem to show two people who aren't on the same page. And the best way to think things though about marriage commitment is celibately.
These types of women don't want good men. They just want to look for men that will have a good time just like they do. Do you know how many ladies I met I left me because I was a good man?
This is facts! I do for my man so he knows I love him and being with me the rest of his life he'll get more and more out of me that let's him know I care, I provide for him too, I nurture and have his back!
Indeed! At the beginning of the relationship, you will know what a person is. If she/he is enough and worthy to be a part of your life until your both hair is white and be with until old age.
But he doing it backwards if you want to marry somebody you know within 6 months of dating yes or no, let them go back separate residence and then figure it out
@@lywnnjohnson6130 the absurdity is her demands, like she's in any position to demand anything at all. She's not wife material, she's saying she'll do it only after he's married her, but the guy is doing everything else, providing, protecting, but for her, he has to do a little bit more. For what?? Some men have paid a hefty price for that
If she says "I'll do wife things when we're married", run fast. The best version of a partner you'll ever see is when you are courting them. After marriage in most cases they're no longer willing or obligated to give you the best version of themselves.
GF is a parasite who wants to lock in access to his resources BUT she isn't doing the feminine affectionate things while he is doing the protect and provide things.
@Chayil 74 If you intend to be married to someone, both parties have to be honest with each other and show each other who they really are. Through open and honest communication, through treating mutual respect, and knowing what each other's responsibilities are in the running of the home. How else are you going to figure out if you want to spend the rest of your life with them?
Just don’t move in with a guy till after they have proposed of their own volition. Being the woman in an unmarried house, you will be cooking cleaning and shopping for him. He wants his cake and to eat it. If he ain’t asked you, YOU AIN’T THE ONE.
So u think a man should propose first than have the woman move in to find out she's dirty, cant cook, and they cant get along living under the same roof ? I don't think so, hopefully u test drive your cars before u buy them
Cap. This is exactly what you need to do before marriage. If you can’t even make it last while “playing” house, how could you make it last in real life?
@@leethewarlord But not everything, remember, sex for after marriage, before its called fornication, a couple begins to treat each other like married just out of love(sex excluded), not because its a role they have to play beforehand.
LOL I've been having this argument for the last 3 years and I've made it clear I'm not getting married I'm not buying you a house unless you act right safe coming to an end soon
High tail on out of that one. Don't try to convince someone to change for promises. If their motivation is based on what you'll do in exchange it'll just get worse even after they make those temporary changes.
What he's saying is I'm being a husband to you right now at this moment and our relationship but you are not reciprocating by being a wife to me right now in this relationship.
@@SweetUareDesi Were not talking about IRL, were talking about the hypothetical skit. If they are only dating and he is acting like a husband to her but she's not acting like a wife to him, how would he know if she would make a good wife?
@@blackpoptart4781 well a man operating as a husband in a relationship is standard. A woman should NOT BEHAVE as a wife would until HE HAS MARRIED her. Y are y’all slow? read some relationship books or something. TF IS WRONG WITH YALL. *The woman is SINGLE UNTIL MARRIAGE*
@@SweetUareDesi lol so the man does all the duties a husband does and woman doesn't have to until she is married? Looks like you've been reading too many relationship books either way good luck getting a man. Feminism at its finest lol
@@SweetUareDesi men don't have to do any husband things for you until after the second child. Until then, you only get dick and McDonalds. You don't get to live in his place, you don't get Gucci bags. You don't touch his income or property with a 10ft stick.
Stop having GFs you don't want to marry..... there's an idea.... obvi these two AREN'T on the same page...... Why do y'all stay in these relationships when CLEARLY it's NOT IT....????? Ugghh
Who says they dont want to marry? Thats like saying dont hire a person who you arent going to promote. No one is going to put a ring on a woman who says what they can do. Woman who show through action, get the marriage title. In short, put in work to set yourself up for marriage.
So I'm 23 and I've had a few girlfriends and honestly none of which I wanted to marry they weren't loyal two of the three cheated on me and one of them was clinically bipolar so sometimes men are just careful because marriage is a lifelong decision and if you would use the wrong girl you're kind of screwed
PREACH!!…. “I’ll do it when I get a ring on my finger”. Heard it all before. Femininity and wifely characteristics don’t turn on and off like a switch. You’re either a “wife” or NOT… Women would find it unacceptable if we turned our masculinity on and off “when we felt like it”….provided “when we felt like it”…gave affection “when we felt like it” and protected them “when we felt like it”…but that’s how they treat us….sad
@@constantnipples2428 ... It's better spoken... It feels good to the soul to say some things that need to be said vs implying! My dog can not talk but she can communicate... That's the difference between us and animals we can actually speak!
I’ll hold on for a long time, but once I let go... that’s it i hope the people you meet have the same heart as you. i hope they treat you like they should.
This right here. I talk about those things all the time. That we don’t become a wife or husband because we married. What is wrong with allowing someone you see as the best compliment to your life to see who they will be marrying before they ask or say I do. Be you because it’s genuinely you not because of a title you have gained. There is no need for representatives when you move with integrity!
I see you mama. Beat that mug for ya King trust me he is on the way. They don’t make like you anymore smh. Teach these young girls that more is required before you get to “have it all”!!!
@@ricosuave3722we all are YOUniquely us and must be that out loud and with integrity. Be intentional with our intentions. Absolutely always sharing knowledge with those of all ages. If we don’t teach each other how can one grow with out seeds being planted?!
My grandparents always told me never do wifey duties for girlfriend positions! My husband never had this problem. He understand boundaries! We been married for 25 years
Your husband doesn't know his value. It is foolish to buy a car without test driving it just like it was foolish of him to marry you without knowing if you can do wifely duties.
This is one of the hottest topics out there even the church teaches these things... And anytime I hear it, or as a talking about from a lady...I'm like, we're destroying women of this generation. Thank you for bringing this up at least, for giving it the attention it deserves.
"I would be doing MORE of those things". She wants a husband to do EVERYTHING he is already doing. However, she won't do more until he marries her. This is why America is a fucked up jacked up country. People go..."Here is the standard that I COMMAND you to do HOWEVER I do not have to do them." If you are not doing those things by NOW...you will NEVER do them with a fucking ring on your damn finger.
@@jeremiahborders2959 for me it would depend on the person. For example, I give an 18 month time clock. I go hard and put my best foot forward..get to know him, all that good stuff for 18 months tops if we make it that far. We should know what we want to do by then.
@Weird Gardener 🌱 nope you have to live with someone first and get to know them fully and that takes more than a year because it's a process first you date then you move in together and experience that and if you're still In love then you get married then have kids but y'all wanna skip steps and that's why the divorce rate is so damn high
@Weird Gardener 🌱 so wrong. That’s why most marriages fail. You’re not even out of the honeymoon phase at that point. Most reasonable timeframe is 2.5 years. And that’s if all the steps are taken.
Just a honest question for a women, What are 'wife's ways to act... like how woukd you want and expect a women to act if was your 'wife'...? Real question notching a smart ass I'm genuinely wanting to know, cause I lately found myself at 32 genuinely in my heart wanting a forever man and to be married so yeah..... look forward to your genuine reply if it's gonna be sarcastic immature or whatever just dont bother replying I want I an honest genuine response as I gave when I asked the question Thanks🙂 God bless hope your doing well Shay
@@shaybaeXx1989 Short answer: Be a ride or die How: compliant(not like slavery but not nagging him on the daily over something small or trivial) also *loyalty* is a huge one, helpful (around the house, with his business whatever it may be that could make his day easier) 0 hoe tendencies (if you have Any hoe traits and characteristics delete them in your next software update its like a virus that keeps women single and men not marrying).
@@jaymiles5206 oh well if that's actually what every man looks at as marriage material then I check every box I just haven't found a man who is marriage material and the ones I do know and possibly coukd be I'm too scared trust and I also have 2 children which makes it harder s.fornne to trust cause he needs to be really good for my boys to look up to and want them to be a man like him, like set great examples all round and also I certainly acknowledge that's a massive thing for a man to have to have especially if their not all round decent, and vice versa me being a good example for another man and his children especially if he has a daughter
But I'm 100% ride or die loyal, I lived a long pretty fuked life and had alot of life experiences alot of which people should never experience but it's also made me who I am and the solid characteristics personality and loyalty I am and will have forever
I treated my husband the same way I do now as a wife then when we were dating. U should show ur partner that u are a good girlfriend, therefore he knows u will also be a good wife.
What is the point of dating if not for marriage ? Second point if you aren’t doing wifely duties I value in you before I marry you marrying you is only going to allow you to take half of what I own while still being the same asshole or even getting worse why am I in anyway incentivized to marry you then hmm?
Until after the wedding, you're not bond to anything, wait until you know them well enough, to invest your life in them. Don't become emotionally involved, until you check them out. Use your head. Avoid a lifetime of regret.
You're never bound to anybody period. Marriage is a legal contract. Not some twin flame entanglement. Imagine saying these woo wishful thinking nonsense things in a world with no-fault-divorce
@@spicynoodle7419 marriage is NOT a contract. It's a covenant between husband, wife, and the Lord. The thinking that marriage is a contract is what's wrong with the world. A covenant states that no matter what you do, I'll always do my part, regardless. A contract states that if you don't do your part, I don't have to do mine.
@@justinl9677 there is no lord. If your wife decides to top having sex with you and you stop giving her money in return, you're going to jail. It's not 1422
The issue is he sees himself as a husband and she sees herself as a girlfriend. Because women don't like to settle he should down grade himself to be boyfriend with boyfriend responsibility. After sometime after her eggs are old and she ask for a ring, he should tell her that's only for the one who qualify as a wife.
@@aircraftboy1648 Yeah he should really just bounce. She's not a wife in her character and how she treats relationships. Basically he's living intentionally to be a husband ready for a wife. She's being selfish and immature. Not worth his time at all. Men moving purposefully to be a husband should never deal with women who date for selfish reasons and don't treat a relationship seriously
He is absolutely just like I am and when I was presented with the same thing, I was like "so, I already check all of your boxes that I'm a good fit to marry, because that's just how I am, anyway...but you refuse to even try to do the same for me until I Marry you?? (She said 'yep!', proudly).. kick rocks! Nope!" & she was shocked. Now she's with an abusive dude and claims shes happy but everyone knows she isn't like she was with me...Men are taken for granted all of the time. (Women are too, just not nearly to the same degree)
So I am reading through the comments and it is so abundantly clear that some of you struggle with the concept of wanting for your partner what you want for yourself. He is doing the things she is looking for in a husband and that's why she wants to marry him because he is doing what she requires. She isn't reciprocating. Do y'all get that? 😂 No wonder this is where we at in current relationships
I get it 💯. To add to it, if this were me saying something like she is saying, it would be because I’m scared of playing the fool. Me pouring into my man with acts of service, words of affirmation, quality time, all of that, causes me to fall deeper, connect more. If I am saying that I don’t want to do more of those things it would be from fear that in the end I poured so much in and ended up empty handed. However, we cannot operate in fear, so the better solution would be to have the conversations surrounding expectations of marriage, appropriate time frames, etc. vs saying I ain’t doin this or that because I’m just your girlfriend. Even the way it was said out of her mouth had undertones of devaluing the title. My thoughts, love this perspective.
My husband, before we were dating called me his “future wife” when we were just talking. No clue till after we were married. We never lived together before marriage, but I would get up at 6am to go to his house and help with who would be my son (step son). I took over my stepson’s schooling responsibilities and meds, so my husband could work and go to school. I was told how I was setting women back by doing his laundry, and confused others by not living with him before marriage. Now I was and still am being his helper while still doing what convicted me by my faith. Stop caring what other women think you should and shouldn’t do in a relationship. Do what makes sense to improve your relationship.
Impressive, Mrs. Cole! (Standing Ovation) 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
Just because that worked for you it doesn't mean it works for the vast majority of women who do this. There's a line a thousand women long who did all the wife stuff and are still the girlfriend a decade later.
My wife did the same thing. We didn’t live together until we got married. We didn’t even sleep together until we got married. People want to play out and live together and act like husband and wife but they’re not. Well according to god if they live together they are so honestly if the man won’t commit to marrying the woman and the woman doesn’t want to do wifely thing then leave. When you date someone you should go into it with the attitude that you’re going to marry that person. This is in response to someone that sent there still a girlfriend after a decade
What are u doing step money????
Yup! My wife and I didn't live or have sex together until AFTER marriage. Everybody would be like "how will you know if you like living together or what if sex sucks" umm idk but it takes practice. Been married almost 2 years and we've been learning how to live with each other every day. It's not a difficult concept lol
"I'm already an husband I'm just not your husband, yet" I felt that sht 👑💪💯
He's never going to be a husband for anyone other than his imaginary image of himself.
Also he basically called this woman he's using for free sex for YEARS trash. And that's okay with you guys
I used to say that to my ex
Man this should be required viewing. This video hit me too Brother
A husband
His point is that he is already doing husband things without being married, whereas his gf says she doesn't want to do wife things when they are not married.
Never marry someone who demands it
What even is wife or husband things?
I think we complicate things greatly
Two people should do things because they love each other,not because of weird stereotypes we have trapped ourselves too.
@@γιουργια only person complicating things right now is you.
It Ain’t no “weird stereotypes” I’m a Man and you are a woman, we ain’t built the same. I am my wife’s leader and she is my follower.
@@BRlGADE_KINGPIN lmao no
Your wife is your equal
If you want to control the other person in a relationship,you are just an abusive piece of shit.
I don't want my wife to be my follower,i don't want my wife to be a stupid weak person. I want my wife to be strong, opinionated and call out my bs if i say bs,same the other way around.
I want a person by my side,not a doll
What she said about not doing "wife things" is a narrative being pushed out by alot of black media. Just look at Steve Harvey. Honestly I'm on both sides with this because it really depends on the person. I put out what I get back, and if I see that someone is giving 100%, I will give the same energy back and that's for the other side of the coin as well. Some people don't deserve wife qualities.
@@muldrowalex what even is wife qualities?
Like,im pretty sure intelligence, confidence and humour (aka what matters) aren't just wife qualities
That's deep. "I'm already a husband, I'm just not your husband yet"
he'll never marry her lol
If they don't do it now !!!!! They won't do it after marriage
Not true. A wife cleans up after you if she wants. Not a requirement for a woman single on paper.
@@wakandaisatmtzion right , so true . My thinking error
@@Scotty__ I love the sarcasm that the lady missed.
Facts
@@wakandaisatmtzion You’re playing that stupidity too well. Fall back
People seem to have forgotten that dating is just the interview.
Really, being friends should be the interview, dating should be the preview and marriage should be everything you’ve seen since day one. Honestly, if you care about someone, being friends should be enough to treat someone like gold and do things out of love for a friend. I did everything for my husband that I do as a wife today for him when we were best friends and I wasn’t even interested in a relationship with him at the time, but I loved him because he was my best friend.
@@JacquelynRivera930 friends are thr sweet spot of life, you should treat them like gold so long as they do the same, but the job of spouse isn't what they're around for. That's why dating us the interview. From vetting each other, seeing how the other is in many of life's problems, do they stick around when things go bad, do they share values, where do they see themselves in the future; kids, career, etc. Marriage is a life long job and commitment and between the married partners it's the two of you vs the world. Dating is just the interview to see if they line up with all of that, friends are friends. I don't view them as candidates of dating but it can happen and that's when the real interview begins.
@@KingNirada Hate to break it to you, but the basis of a wonderful relationship, starts out with a great friendship! These are all things you should do for your friends, not just your partner.
I never even get to the point of talking to them🙂
Women, don’t listen to these lowlife males. They want to use everything about you, your body, time, affection, sex, make you a maid and a chef and when they get bored they’ll throw you and get the next one without having any financial obligations towards you. Don’t be a slave to them. Trash.
Needed this video this morning, got out of a relationship just like this after 6 years. Sometimes people don't realize what they have until it's gone, now lord please give me the strength not to go back to her.
Know your worth and appreciate yourself ✊️💯
Don’t go back.. EVER!
I paid dearly for my freedom last year. It helped that she went on a six month vacation out of the country (paid for using my money of course) while I stayed here and was forced to settle all of our affairs (both of us) the divorce; vetting realty agents; getting the house ready to list for sale; the negotiations for the actual sale; moving everything out; cleaning the house; hiring movers and storing my things and hiring people to haul her crap out, which I had to pay for also.
Her vacation stretched on into 9 months as the country she was in, went into koof lockdown with zero flights leaving for months. On the day she gets back, I get a call from her out of the blue: “Where is all my stuff”? I laughed in her ear and told her it was all at the dump.
Your not alone Tom, I'm going through something simular. 2 years together and I love her but she's dragging me down. I know if I go back eventually I'll have nothing left to give and won't be able to help either of us.
Is easy, don't be a simp. Develop a spine and love yourself.
Lord please give me the strength to do the dishes 🥲
You don't get married and THEN become wife material. You get married BECAUSE you're wife material. Clean it up ladies.
What you are saying has back fired on me several times I show that I am a good woman and then I get cheaters and liars and abusers and people who only want my money one guy even told me I was too sweet of a person and I was just being myself
@@Reynakeya37 Yep, sadly that's something we need to figure out for ourselves why we are not seeing the red flags in men who are not stable. That is important, seek a therapist and learn how to see the signs of a good man over a player.
@@Reynakeya37that's because you're being wifey material to the wrong men work on your standards and don't just date any man that gives you the time of day. As a man, we like women that know how to respect us, but also knows how to respect themselves. This doesn't mean don't be humble, it just means that you have to start be better at looking for the right qualities in mem
@@Reynakeya37How many times has dating backfired on men...
Yet women still expect us to make the first move, take control, spend monet... let alone any type of serious relationship. Stop whining and pick it up... or stay single
@@Reynakeya37I agree, you can be wife material to men who preach they are good guys just for them to use you up, its better to stay single people act like being single is a terrible thing. Im just cooking only for myself cleaning only for myself and taking care of bills by myself men dont do 50/50 anymore they want you to doll up, go to school, have a job, take care of bills and all the house chores, they can be living at moms, work out and call themselves high value.
"I'm already a husband, I'm just not YOUR husband yet!" Yesss Jeremy! 💯
That hit
Kinda feel he should have left the "yet" out 🔥
Women, don’t listen to these lowlife males. They want to use everything about you, your body, time, affection, sex, make you a maid and a chef and when they get bored they’ll throw you and get the next one without having any financial obligations towards you. Don’t be a slave to them. Trash.
He just wants yo have sex with her and make her his slave without legal obligations towards her. Women have self respect. That’s why your society you find it hard to find men that would propose.
May never be, either. Don't walk lady, run!
Marriage is honor to the Most High God & security for both parties & children. Stop explaining your worth & seek the one who already knows it!!
Show your worth , you don't reserve it until you comfortable, he shows his housband worth because that's who is , now he sees she is holding back for the wrong reason that's who she is now that you know wat you have acept it or bounce
@@hotz1005 That depends on what he means by showing his worth. He talks about being a provider and a protector, but the there are levels. Opening doors for her, keeping her away from the curb, and paying for meals aren't husbandly duties. They're indicators of generosity and manners. Paying her bills and buying her groceries/big ticket items (house, car, etc.) are husband duties, and he should not be expected to do with them unless they are are married. The same is true of women. Being a positive, enriching force and strong emotional support are not wifely duties. Cleaning his house constantly, cooking most of his meals, and having his children are. She should not be obligated to do any of those things without the security of marriage.
God doesn't exist
Facts you should never have to explain what’s evident. Either they see and value it or they have a different value system. That value system won’t change automatically once you marry them
@@tosinakin2508 "opening doors for her, keeping her away from the curb, and paying for meals arent husband duties" while i dont care for the first two due to the fact the first one can be applied to anyone and the second one makes zero sense because a car jumping the curb hittin ya both. The third one however, im perplex about because you say its an act of generosity yet a woman isnt expected to do that. Infact its looked down upon if a woman goes 50/50 or pays. How would a man know to marry a good wife if they arent showing those qualities? Same honestly could be said vice versa.
Interestingly enough, I was a girlfriend doing wife things, as that’s who I am instinctively and guess what? He took advantage of that and decided to have other “girlfriends/ wives” elesewhere. I’m glad to report I didn’t change myself and found a man who was ready for wifey material.. he recognised and made me his wife. Previous relationship caused me a lot of pain though and it was hard to trust.
Yes ma'am. Been there
Same! 👍
I'm now waiting for Mr. Right!
Y’all look for the wrong types of quality red flags popping up all over and you still chose to stay which is a sign of y’all having a good heart but gullible as all hell, learn your red flags and if you see it in someone immediately walk away, cuz once they show their true colors that’s who they really are
I'm very happy for you and your marriage. I understand giving someone your "All" for it to be not reciprocated and even taken advantage of. It was very wise of you to let that bad experience mature you rather than letting it turn you bitter. Congratulations on your success!🤟
It’s very disappointing that your previous relationships carried into your new one whom had nothing to do with your previous ones (just assuming by the way you told it) but glad things are for the better and happy to hear another human succeeding in this lame world.
Had this situation with my ex. Needless to say she left me for her ex and I've been thanking God ever since 😂
Based. Hope you’re doing well.
You should invite him to celebrate that moment having a few beers, he took away a lot of problem off ypur shoulders, now is his problem, so be gratefull and happy .
.
I actually went through this personally…Married her and she still the same😩😫
I had to teach mine to cook and clean and a lot more. Lol 😆
Once she has a security of a ring, you think she is going to do more when she is incentivies to break the relationship?
😂😂😂😂😂😂
Oh shit... mine says same shit this one does sometimes, but she’s good other times. No games. Patrice O’Neal had the best relationship vice.
He said woman will always want more from the man an try to break him, because woman love to test men, but what they really want is a strong man, don’t ever start making your girl/wife feel like the boss to be nice.
Always keep her in line. She 2nd in command. Losing control of your role will fuck the relationship and she’ll never admit it or warn you, women will avoid confrontation, she’ll just leave one day completely fed up.
And a lot of woman don’t “love”. Your an object, you’ve got value. That’s the hardest thing for us men to understand?
They’re not attracted to us as much as they are to what we have to offer, or our status, what we can buy, the future we can offer them.
Super rare to find a woman with loyalty when your at your weakest.
Don’t ever take your partner for granted unless you don’t care if they leave. Stay trying to impress them, women always care about cheesy sentiments, flowers, compliments, gifts.
They obtain there value through social feedback. Hence why their girlfriends and parents always sharing advice for them to try, and they listen and do it!
In the end some say it’s safer to care or love someone less then they love you, sad but true...
Daaaaaaaaammmmnn
I realized this before I married my fiancé. I realized there’s no circumstance that will change who she is at her core. And though I loved her, she did not meet me in a loving mindset. It was the most difficult choice I ever made to leave someone I cared so deeply about, but I knew it was the correct decision.
Going through the same thing, I can do everything but she still hasn’t displayed any wife qualities and I know she won’t, good person but doesn’t cook or clean and isn’t all that affectionate, I am actually ending it with her tomorrow when I see her, I’ve tried to talk to her too many times about this
@@thedilkdon112
We are similar
I fell in love with a girl that is totally opposite of me in totally everything
Even personality and even in birthdays date
We are more than day and night and she soon enough became my gf
She doesn't cook or clean she actually does nothing
She is so disrespectful of my choices and doesn't bother to ask me how I am or how do I feel
We are a girlfriend and a boyfriend but we are less than that.. less than friends..
Am usually optimistic but she is the total opposite
I am trapped with her just because I love her although she disobeys me in litterly every single thing whether big or small
I promised her that I will marry her but.. I only did that because I loved her at that time but now although I still love her but I think that I won't get anything but toxicity from this relationship
Please don't make my mistake
That’s where I’m at rn we recently moved in together smh 🤦🏾♂️
@@lukefiras8735 Leave her for your own sake. Every minute you spend with a person like that is wasted like pearls before swine.
@@thedilkdon112 You got this Jay. You are making the best decision. You both need to uplift each other and if that isn’t happening, it’s okay to walk away. You got this, I’m rooting for you.
This is so spot on and I never looked at relationship dynamics like this. Respect.
Look up the redpill
This was a great reversal because so many women are told not to give a man wife privileges. When the Bible clearly states a man that finds a wife finds a good thing and find favor with God
She definitely the type of girl to say
“My wedding was the best day of my life”
Not realizing she’s already perceiving their marriage going downhill. I’ve come to notice that women view marriage as a “special day” kind of like a birthday instead of a lifelong commitment towards a relationship. That day is supposed to be the start of something beautiful. Not the peak of it.
THIS!!!!👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿
When we tell them this, they never understand it.
Well said!!
This is a fire perspective 🔥
Excellent point.
This is how you let your side chick know that you are married 😂😂😂
“I’m already a husband just not your husband”
Right lol 😂
😱
Nooooo 😂😂😭😭
Yooooooo😂😂😂
Yessir
I already do these things because that is who I AM. Wow I felt that 🧘🏻♀️
Man. To the core
mane i felt that to my soul 🥺
Never do husband duties at boyfriend prices.
exactly, it goes both ways, never to wife duties for a girlfriend status
And that's the mindset he's talking about! If you don't show that you have husband/wife in you, how is something supposed to see you as nothing more than were you are. If you want a promotion at work, are you going to just sit there showing you are a good level 1, or are you going to show you are a good level 1, and but hey, look, I'm also a great level 2 as well? Your work for the position you want, not the position you have.
LMFAO😂
@@7thCourtPhotographyThis.
Don’t change because of the other person is not worth it. Just move one till you find the right person. That is the right way. Otherwise when the right person comes by and doesn’t find the husband material in you they will move on.
People make it so complicated. Your partner should put in the same level of effort that you are putting into the relationship. If one is working hard, the other one should feel motivated to work hard too. Marriage or not - it's a teamwork effort and not a school group project where one does all the work.
True but also false. Marriage or any relationship is never 50-50. My wife says it all the time and it's true. There's going to be times when it's 50-50 but most of the time it's 75-25 or even 99-1. Everyone is going to have ups and downs, everyone individually goes thru highs and lows. When my wife is down for whatever reason she may only be able to give 10%, but I'll be there to make up the other 90% bc I know when the time comes that I can only give 5% she will make up the other 95%. Things happen and very rarely in a relationship are both parts giving equally at the same time. But to be holding back because of a piece of paper like this is crazy af. Give all you can give your partner all the time, even if it's only 20% at some times but give that 80% back when you can as well.
More like they are qualifying for a position. They need to start acting like the position they want before even being hired! If they dont like it now its better they know before marriage
This reminds me of another video but I can't remember who it was. just that if you didn't have context it would sound sexist towards women. This gunu bother me til I find out who said it. Somewhere along the lines of if the man is working and the woman isn't then she should be doing the other half of the work at home taking care of cleaning n cooking. If you're both doing both then great but if not then atleast the other partner no matter who it is should be doing the other half
Same level doesn't work 😞
*wife/husband fixed the statement
“Work for the position you want, not the position you have”
Exactly 💯💯💯💯💯
Well said
Bars
Yeah I was going to say that.. it's like she says: "Give me a promotion now, THEN maybe I'll think about doing more for us.."
So you telling her to work to be a common law wife?
I asked my baby mama when do her wifely duties begin? After the wedding? I work hard, bought us a new home, treated her daughter I didn’t make with her like my own and she still wouldn’t do right. She wouldn’t do shit for me even after I proposed and put that ring on her finger. She wanted a wedding but not the responsibilities that come with being a wife. After 8 months leading up to the wedding and seeing nothing from her I called it off. Within a couple months a woman came into my life and did everything a wife should do without me even asking because that’s just who she is…so I married her. I love her so much. We’re together and happy to this day and she never changed on me while my baby mama is bitter and getting used one guy after another looking for what she already had but didn’t see and that’s her fault. I told her this is what would happen. I guess she thought I didn’t know what I was talking about
Marrage is a partnership no doubt. Glad you found a second half
Bra... so glad you took out the trash
I'm glad it worked out for you, Unfortunately sometimes in life we End up with the ones that aren't right for us in order to get to the ones that are.
... and guess what happens when these same useless human being don't get what they want? Divorce, Parental Alienation and litigation costing the other, $$$$, to see their child or children whilst paying Child support through the teeth....
I'm happy for you bro , and never look back !
Wow, this opened my eyes. I have a whole new perspective on this whole relationship thing. Thank you for that. 💖
Can't wait for this era to be over🙄
Waiting will only allow the satanic cult to totally eradicate natural laws and values from society. Women are the target because they control sex. Now that sex is free, human value is gone.
100 percent🥴
What’s wrong with this era?
@@baramis575 the gender wars to begin...
@@baramis575 feminism
"I'm just a girlfriend"
Well you bout to be a EX-girlfriend
👍🏽👍🏽👍🏽👍🏽👍🏽👍🏽👍🏽👍🏽
😆😆😆Yep
Lol
Pretty much
Facts
All her answers were for her. You got money, Protect me, I love those things in you because you make me less Responsible.
And what would the man want that isn’t for him? Clean his house clean his clothes go grocery shopping for him paying the bills bc it’s annoying to deal with cook for him etc people in relationships both get something out of it it’s not just love and butterflies it’s also the fact they do stuff that makes the others life easier ask any dude would you rather have less money and not deal with these annoying things or more money and you got to do everything plus work 99% of dudes would pick a little less money lol 😂
@@whiteperson1742 its not really related but I was offered lots of money (hike) to join new company, but I would basically be alone and will have to deal with problems on my own i.e. without a team's help. I was like that for 4 years straight. Now I have a team, with less money I dont even mind, we work for the money but that extra relax time knowing that someone is there to cover if need be is a great feeling. Same goes to marriage too I guess in a way. Now my wife is sick due to early pregnancy, I have to do all the cooking and cleaning of the house, and taking care of her job(self employed) . Which I dont really mind, of course it is frustrating and streeful sometimes. Dressing the first child for school, she is only 1st grade. Pick up and everything. But the point is, she is there when I need her, and I will surely be there for her, marriage is for bad times and good times. We cant have only the good times. We got both.
@@Marta_Fanai see you understand it most people commenting oh women are just leeches or they just want things are children once they grow up and have responsibilities and a real relationship they will see women do a lot for men that makes their life waaayyy better and less stressful I’m a father of two own a home 2 vehicles 2 dogs and 2 cats the thought of working taking care of my kids the animals cleaning laundry shopping etc would be hell
Amen!!! I told my aunt this right before my fiance proposed. I was a lil worried he wouldn't. But I told her I'm a wife not a gf. Imma hold myself to that. Now if someone is taking advantage of that. You have to spot that and use the spirit of discernment. But husbands and wives your character shouldn't be limited to circumstances. My ex made me feel like I couldn't have marriage with them. I wasn't who they wanted and that was fine. Move on.
This felt like looking into someone's personal life. That's how good the acting is. 👏
Reminds me of the bad soap operas my grandma would watch
😂😂😂 you can’t be serious
GF is a parasite who wants to lock in access to his resources BUT she isn't doing the feminine affectionate things while he is doing the protect and provide things.
The acting was on point just needs a good budget
@@beautifulmermaid718 just my opinion
Notice how she mentioned what he does for her, never anything significant about his character/personality. She could literally fill in any other man who does the same thing, he isn't special to her.
What she said was biblically sound that dows dwscribe hos character. Many men don't do this what did you want her to say .all the things she named would make any REAL MAN proud it it absolutely would be reflected on his character.
Uh doing all those things is a show of his character and morals, tf are you talking about? Many ppl dont act like that especially in the todays worl. Yall so fake deep, trying to relate your traumas as wisdom in these comments, it hurts
@@acephalos5026 yeah she sees a guy that's gonna pay all her bills ( provider)
Why would anybody commit to someone not capable of carrying them off that's what's needed for a time? Men (old school)don't think of a woman doing that. We should be evaluating for wife material while seeing ourselves as the opposite.. All that premarital hooking up is so close to useless cause your ain't the same person when you cross over. You don't know what's on the other side till you get there. z Then you stay finding out more about yourself cause you got a taking thinking mirror living with you. Your glasses will be revealed and you get to grow. It should work both ways. Two imperfect people helping each other become the best version ever. What's the long term and short term goals and are they on code with your family/community or are you gonna find yourself on an island when you need an army/community?
Good bc she isn't special to her. All that damn hollering
This was very intriguing 🧐. He calling her out by basically saying, “He has to do husband duties for her for her to see a husband in him; but she can’t do wifey duties for him for him to see the wife in her?” WOW! 😮
Well played, well played!!! 💯💯💯
Keep dropping these necessary enlightenments!!!!! I don’t have social media, but TH-cam comes on phones at purchase. However, I’ll watch stuff like this because it’s “good fruitful, and has enriching substance”.
My gf does everything she would do as my wife, im finna marry my girl by the end of the year 🤧❤️
I hope you do everything you would do as her husband.
.
.
.
.
"A man that Findeth a WIFE" Ladies, that means you are showing wife qualities when he meets you.
Yes but that doesn't mean go cook his meals and wash his dirty underwear before a real commitment 😉
She does it for herself you will know.
She keeps her own home, not his.
@@ladyofspa true. Until they are married living under the same roof.
@@ladyofspa true!
"Only women, children, and dogs are loved unconditionally, and men are only loved under the condition that they provide something"
-Chris Rock
Sad but true
Thats why i dont provide for others and only myself. I love myself bcus noone else will.
Bullshit
Women are loved based on what they give. Lol. Body, beauty, age, ….. women are loved based on shallow reasoning (physical appearance). Men are desired and chosen based on resources. That makes sense. There are always conditions. Men don’t just give love. I hate this quote.
Stop it. Lol.
Huh? 🤣🤣🤣 what a load of nonsense
Excellent work Jeremy! I hope bro realize the target is to be build themselves to be a husband and not to meet their requirements and the right wife will show up. A man that finds a wife... You know the rest.
"I'm just a girlfriend." Good, stay one while I find my wife!!
Exactly my guy
Exactly
Sheeeeesssshhhh
😂😂😂😂
So you cheat like a misogynist instead of breaking up but somehow youre the victim?
"I appreciate that, I love you too" man. If they say that before going off, you better keep them
Those are the small things that you shouldn't take for granted. But a lot of people do. I'm with you bruh. Helps me work better when my wife hits me with one of those "I love you back baby". I'm saying right?
True husband and wife are married in spirit before they have a ceremony or put it on paper.
Dating is getting to know someone. If you saw wife qualities in her. Wouldn't the engagement be the trial period 🤔
Angre. EXACTLY
Lol
@@purplesoul9927 Agree 💯
When you see the qualities of a Good man or a Good woman, the next stages should be towards marriage.
When that 'Trial period' is not exercised...
The relationship becomes stunted in its growth and one or both individuals will end up reaping the benefits without the intention of even getting married.
I agree that’s why it’s such a beautiful union put together by the Lord
I felt him. I been in relationships like this, but it was the opposite. This goes for men and women: stop giving them the husband/wife package when they only giving boyfriend/girlfriend!! Know what you have and respond accordingly!!
This was legit my last relationship/marriage. I had to constantly ask for simply things prior to marriage and then when I married her nothing changed. Maybe for a half a year but if it’s not in her it’s not in her. But my current lady the love is endless 💯🌹
You should never ask a woman to do things that she isn’t going to do without you asking. Just leave. And find a woman who will.
Did you marry your current lady? I notice you didn’t call her your wife. 😄
Marriage is a gamble
Bro, Thank you for saying this. I needed to hear it. Im done.
well as reddit likes to say. when they show you who they are believe em.
Damn I thought I was watching a Tyler Perry movie 🤣
😂🤣
You beat me to it! I was about to comment the same thing 💀💀💀
Bro yesss
😂😂
@@doctordemon9324 Stop lying and trying to get likes. No you were not. 😒
So glad I never married my gf of 8 years!!! I would wake up , make Both of us breakfast, do the dishes, make the bed when she got up. Take her out shopping, then out to eat, then to a movie, then back home. Then I’d do a wash that night before bed, take a shower , get in bed and go to sleep.
Then she got mad cuz she thought I was using her for sex, for 8 years??? I was using you??? Nah you were using me bro.
Glad I dodged a bullet.
Thats a lot of time and effort.
Treat her like a queen, she ll treat you like a slave.
That makes me sad. I was the same way with my hubby of 11 years. Not all women are like that.
I just broke up after 7 1/2 doing everything. Im very caring person. I pay all the bills and drive and work a 40 hours or more a week to pay my rent. She wouldn't help me with anything gives me the excuse that i should ask for her too cook....? Why you know i work 10 to 12 hours a day. Nothing has really changed.....ive gotten to the point and now im hoping ill eventually find a women on my level.....im tired if doing it all and not getting the support i deserve.
All yall bless yall
@@Vsmehdi you cheated and she dumped you ..sounds fair.
I won't lie, I was just like this until I got the help I needed 🤣
Shot out to you for taking accountability🥂
What kind of help i think i need too
A treadmill?
You never lose behavior you just suppress it which is equally as bad
@@fadishehada8896Therapy and learning to truly value yourself and others. Some people are just not compatible and thats okay! I spent alot of time suppressing my natural self trying to make myself a person that is marraige material and trying to mold others into it. If someone you are with for years says that they don't find you worthy of the title you want it's time to possibly break up and really look into yourself and heal with therapy and truly taking accountability.
This video just confirms the games we play. Her staying knowing she isn't what he wants ,ripping away privileges from him and him keeping her there although he isn't really happy enough to see her as anything other than a girlfriend even though she blatantly let's him know she wants to be a wife is not okay. It's a relationship that creates loopholes and brings out your worst self. The best thing you can do in situations like these is be vulnerable and really willing to leave.
Sorry this comment took so long. I wish you the best 💖
Just watch who u get with I was with my wife before my wife for 5 years b4 we got married, and after being married to her for 16 years, I still don't regret a thing. I love her with all my heart.
I love hearing testimonies like these. Wishing you many more happy years together
@@ishish8816 thanks for the wishes.
Getting to know the person you date a long time before getting married and moving in together is key. I was with my husband 9 years before we got married and we never lived together before getting married but we would talk a lot about how we would work out problems when we got married. In September we will be together 15 years but only married for 6.I don’t regret anything either and I would die for my husband to save him if I had to. He is the one that my soul loves.
Just nice to know that real men exist and not these men that try to manipulate women into giving them everything while they give nothing. At the end of the day after a woman has had chiy for a man that has not married her, he can take all of that and leave without her with nothing! Real men don’t manipulate they just do what comes natural.
Thank God there are marriage that stand. I wish you two the best ❣️
Never trust the "I'll do x when you do y"
That works for the honeymoon phase then go right back to how they are at that moment
It’s because when you married she feel more secure
You're right bcuz her job around the house would be secure.
@@kitty1977 lmfao
@@kitty1977 yall really lack intelligence. Women sacrifice a lot to be a wife and mother. You all don't give birth which is very dangerous endeavor. It leaves you vulnerable and dependent for a period of time. You have to sacrifice income and experience on the strength that a man will provide for you during this time. What woman with sense would do that knowing you could walk away without consequence? Only a fool
@@acephalos5026 whole point of ops comment and mine went over your head...even if I stay home and cook and clean, that's not providing income or experience that employers will use. Still making a sacrifice to keep him happy but if he decides he wants to leave, I would have no recurse and would have lost out on time and experience I could have given to someone else, even if that person was me.
At least if I'm married, I can get alimony while I train and raise my income after sacrificing. Yall don't think like that because a lot of ppl are inherently selfish and not cooperative
@@acephalos5026 if you're dating someone, you should be able to see if they are kind, caring, cooperative, hard working, etc over time. No need for me to give you all my efforts in an attempt to prove something because trust me, most men are not fundamentally decent these days and usually just take advantage. Know too many women who've done this only to be left and have them marry literal gold diggers after. Men love gold digger trophy wives, it's pretty obvious. Men don't care about this stuff as much as they say they do; especially when they have money to pay for staff. Unless he's paying all my bills then the answer to doing all that would be hell to the no.
He totally on point,I was a wife and had a wife mindset Before I officially became a Wife, that's t why my husband married me. 💍👩❤️👨💯💯
So did i, I cooked, cleaned, worked, am a great mom, and wife and after a year and having his baby i guess I am still not worthy. So why keep doing wife duties once he told he will never marry me.
@@luisannalisasotelo7201Doea he not do husband duties?? Does he not pay for?stuff, provide and protect??? Ask him what you're missing to make that commitment instead of assuming you're worthy. He clearly thinks you're missing something.
@@constant1991 WOW, that's a big pill to swallow. But, very necessary... great convos/perspective
@@constant1991great response my brother. It's like as a man,you're not allowed to dislike things about women.
Most of them believe they dont have any errors.
This is actually accurate. Everyday you see posts of, "Don't do wifey things without the ring" or "Don't do girlfriend without him asking you." but in order for the guy to ask her he has to bend over backwards and break his back.
Not all women are like this, 100% but this behavior is way more common than a lot of females would ever admit.
Facts no it’s sad how unfair dating is for men
Its only extremely common for the nice guy. And vary rare for a narcissistic åsshöle that makes her feel so bad that when he does something nice she admires that man 100 times more than she ever would for a nice guy who seems like he is simping.
Your mixing contexts. That applies to women that start off doing “wifey” things for a man that’s not returning the same level of support. That’s why women raised their standards. This video is specific to less common, more responsible men.
You're a 100% right, It is very common, You're programmed by everyone around you as a little girl Basically don't give away the milk unless they buy the cow senerio. Fairtales don't help this.( No I'm not calling women cows😅)
@@Daniel-mk8eg Nope. Women like that are more common.
This made me realize something important. I need to step it up.
I second you on that
This the realest comment I EVER read. Somebody owning their own conviction
BS.
@@atarbuck3452any need?
Salute to this. I've lived this scenario A LOT!
Scammer
@@SweetUareDesi exactly
Brothers get your passports. There is a world full of women that do not have to be taught this lesson.
As a mature woman this is very interesting and thought provoking. At the time of dating my now disease husband he expected me to cook dinner whenever he came over my house. After having a conversation with my dad he said you’re not married to him, you’re not obligated to do anything that a wife would do. and it made sense when you’re dating you do dating things nowadays people are living together doing husband and wife things and expecting something to change.
Your the exception to the rule. You evidently didn't see "husband qualities" in your "disease" husband when you felt an issue with him expecting you to cook everytime he came over, especially since you ran to your pops about him. You shouldn't of never married him in the first place cause you didn't enjoy cooking for him. You got married for the wrong reasons more than likely. You knew who your husband was before you married him.
You gave your husband a disease?
@@willoftheelect3476 First of all You are wrong in your thought process. If I didn’t want to marry him I wouldn’t have . Also if he didn’t see qualities in me irregardless to cooking he wouldn’t have asked to marry me. We remained married as a Christian couple for well over 20 years until he passed away. you don’t know anything about my marriage so that was a negative call on your part. My father was a man who had great qualities that I looked up to and of course I would get his advice. I was blessed to have a father and mother who could guide me in that process. my parents were married almost 50 years until death. God is our counselor🙏🏾
@@dorettabrown245 Great come back sister. I digress. Carry on. God bless.
That's only when you think of marriedge as "the goal". Comming from me, a woman who wouldn't like to get married because I don't like the contract, the "wife things" only mean "sharing a life with someone else and doing your part".
And those things should only be done when you live under the same roof, not before. There's no obligation if you don't actually share space, but when you start sharing roof then everyone should do something for each other and the home (no matter who does what).
So I'd say your father's advise was missleading
This is why I'm staying single. To find someone along my path who'll learn to appreciate me for me and not just what I provide.
You are what you can provide. That how men are measured, just accept it an move accordingly. Women always look at what we can provide first, everything else comes second. Just like men start with physical attraction and everything else comes after. It's biological, they need to know you can take care of them and potential kids. Women always want a man that makes as much if not more money than them
Good luck. No one is going to love you just for being you except for your mama 😂
@@LatiWins what a sad outlook on life but seeing as you look like cracked asphalt I’m not surprised you hold that opinion
Why shouldn't someone care about what their partner can provide. It's pretty important to have provisions. Do you forgo having a comfortable living for someone who can't sustain you or themselves in a stable way? I'd rather have a competent wife than a wife that is fun to hang out with, but ultimately a strain on my financial or mental state. And i don't think that's wrong.
Thank you for making this! this explains everything I've been trying to tell people especially the girlfriends I have had😭😭😭
Big facts, I've been in that situation. I've moved on. Now I'm happy with a woman that's like a wife.
DON'T BELEIVE THAT NONESENSE. DAY 1 MARRIED THE GREAT BAIT AND SWITCH STARTS!!
Hey Not always !! 😆 But I don't belive in forcing anyone to get married. If they aren't giving their all to you already then chances are they never will so I agree sometimes that's true.🤣
Yeah men and women do it all the time.
"I'm already a husband!" and that ladies is why you can't find a good man 😂
Underrated comment right here 😂
She's a side chick to him. His no commitment milk cow. This sketch does seem to show two people who aren't on the same page. And the best way to think things though about marriage commitment is celibately.
@@dominiqueritchey6795 not the best way; you just haven’t done it successfully.
Like they say “Why buy the cow when you can get the milk free.” She’s his side chick, apparently not marrying materials.
These types of women don't want good men. They just want to look for men that will have a good time just like they do. Do you know how many ladies I met I left me because I was a good man?
This is facts! I do for my man so he knows I love him and being with me the rest of his life he'll get more and more out of me that let's him know I care, I provide for him too, I nurture and have his back!
Half these dudes still won't marry even when the girl friend is bending over backwards to show she's IT
Wow! I can see clearly now. Thank you.🙏👍
The guy already doing husband thing without marry lady wise up stop listening to another woman who doesn't have anyone 😊
Wish I had seen this 7 years ago. My ex made the same argument… Wish I had that comeback at the time!
Indeed!
At the beginning of the relationship, you will know what a person is. If she/he is enough and worthy to be a part of your life until your both hair is white and be with until old age.
"And the crazy thing is, that's just who I am..." 🔥 🔥 🔥
Bar!!!
That’s on you for providing husband role before you get married. She doesn’t have to do certain things and neither do you
👏🏾 👏🏾 👏🏾 👏🏾… y’all going learn that real love takes GENUINE Authenticity between two people NOT COnDITIONS!!!!!
Yes mam. Thankyou
"I'm just a girlfriend" well let me go get me a wife then. Get out
Bro I wanna like this so bad..
But I wanna keep it at 69 likes 🤣 😂
@@SuperSaiyanPikachu1 😂
But he doing it backwards if you want to marry somebody you know within 6 months of dating yes or no, let them go back separate residence and then figure it out
@@lywnnjohnson6130 the absurdity is her demands, like she's in any position to demand anything at all. She's not wife material, she's saying she'll do it only after he's married her, but the guy is doing everything else, providing, protecting, but for her, he has to do a little bit more. For what?? Some men have paid a hefty price for that
"So why am I paying your bills provide a roof over your head and provide for your kid then?"
If she says "I'll do wife things when we're married", run fast. The best version of a partner you'll ever see is when you are courting them. After marriage in most cases they're no longer willing or obligated to give you the best version of themselves.
GF is a parasite who wants to lock in access to his resources BUT she isn't doing the feminine affectionate things while he is doing the protect and provide things.
Facts
You can treat him like a husband all day however don’t have children With men that will not commit long-term.
@Chayil 74 If you intend to be married to someone, both parties have to be honest with each other and show each other who they really are. Through open and honest communication, through treating mutual respect, and knowing what each other's responsibilities are in the running of the home. How else are you going to figure out if you want to spend the rest of your life with them?
@Chayil 74 then she wouldn't marry him, like he shouldn't marry her.
Just don’t move in with a guy till after they have proposed of their own volition.
Being the woman in an unmarried house, you will be cooking cleaning and shopping for him.
He wants his cake and to eat it.
If he ain’t asked you, YOU AIN’T THE ONE.
So u think a man should propose first than have the woman move in to find out she's dirty, cant cook, and they cant get along living under the same roof ? I don't think so, hopefully u test drive your cars before u buy them
She's completely right. Put a ring on it bro.
😂🤣😂
🤡🤡🤡
Marrying a woman won’t change her. She is who she is for life!
First rule in relationships, never move in and play house.
Cap. This is exactly what you need to do before marriage. If you can’t even make it last while “playing” house, how could you make it last in real life?
@@leethewarlord Facts!
@@leethewarlord But not everything, remember, sex for after marriage, before its called fornication, a couple begins to treat each other like married just out of love(sex excluded), not because its a role they have to play beforehand.
@@leethewarlord fornication is not it
Just don't Uhaul it after the first week... Spend enough time with someone to know who they are first,
everything reminds me of my ex wife, i love her so much, i wish there was a way i can bring her back.
@jay pritchett i wont say im glad that you understand how i feel, it is really sad, how did you get her back?
@jay pritchett thank you so much, this is really helpful.
@jay pritchett Why didn't you everything to keep your marriage strong? Why wait until it breaks down to try?
@@tonimartin8547 thats a scam darling ..
@@noneofyourbuizness🤭🤣😂💀
LOL I've been having this argument for the last 3 years and I've made it clear I'm not getting married I'm not buying you a house unless you act right safe coming to an end soon
High tail on out of that one. Don't try to convince someone to change for promises. If their motivation is based on what you'll do in exchange it'll just get worse even after they make those temporary changes.
@Robert Smith damn Mr.Smit, you are pretty money savy I see!🤯 That's a dope idea 🙏🏾
@Robert Smith can you explain a 3 family ?
@Robert Smith this is what I want to do man or a quad
What he's saying is I'm being a husband to you right now at this moment and our relationship but you are not reciprocating by being a wife to me right now in this relationship.
She is not supposed to, she is single
@@SweetUareDesi Were not talking about IRL, were talking about the hypothetical skit. If they are only dating and he is acting like a husband to her but she's not acting like a wife to him, how would he know if she would make a good wife?
@@blackpoptart4781 well a man operating as a husband in a relationship is standard. A woman should NOT BEHAVE as a wife would until HE HAS MARRIED her. Y are y’all slow? read some relationship books or something. TF IS WRONG WITH YALL.
*The woman is SINGLE UNTIL MARRIAGE*
@@SweetUareDesi lol so the man does all the duties a husband does and woman doesn't have to until she is married? Looks like you've been reading too many relationship books either way good luck getting a man. Feminism at its finest lol
@@SweetUareDesi men don't have to do any husband things for you until after the second child. Until then, you only get dick and McDonalds. You don't get to live in his place, you don't get Gucci bags. You don't touch his income or property with a 10ft stick.
Stop having GFs you don't want to marry..... there's an idea.... obvi these two AREN'T on the same page......
Why do y'all stay in these relationships when CLEARLY it's NOT IT....????? Ugghh
Free access to pum pum 🤗 they wanna test drive ya out for 1-2 years then test drive and buy their dream ride all within 3-6 months 😆😂
Who says they dont want to marry? Thats like saying dont hire a person who you arent going to promote. No one is going to put a ring on a woman who says what they can do. Woman who show through action, get the marriage title. In short, put in work to set yourself up for marriage.
So I'm 23 and I've had a few girlfriends and honestly none of which I wanted to marry they weren't loyal two of the three cheated on me and one of them was clinically bipolar so sometimes men are just careful because marriage is a lifelong decision and if you would use the wrong girl you're kind of screwed
@@ChamStar625 Sounds like you was never picked for the long haul.
Why women always turn the narrative into a "Me too"
PREACH!!…. “I’ll do it when I get a ring on my finger”. Heard it all before. Femininity and wifely characteristics don’t turn on and off like a switch. You’re either a “wife” or NOT… Women would find it unacceptable if we turned our masculinity on and off “when we felt like it”….provided “when we felt like it”…gave affection “when we felt like it” and protected them “when we felt like it”…but that’s how they treat us….sad
You should have told her: You see a husband in me and I don't see a wife in you. You are the weakest link.. Goodbye
I was expecting those words lol
Why would a man marry a woman who has bad intentions for him! No...let her marry a thug.
His actions already show that
Thank u very much for that explanation 👍🏾 cause that's the same way I feel about mos these young ladies I've been meeting unfortunately 😕
@@constantnipples2428 ... It's better spoken... It feels good to the soul to say some things that need to be said vs implying! My dog can not talk but she can communicate... That's the difference between us and animals we can actually speak!
Just had this conversation with my BF, it totally changed my perspective. Thank you for your content, totally on point.
I’ll hold on for a long time, but once I let go... that’s it i hope the people you meet have the same heart as you. i hope they treat you like they should.
HE IS SAYING, THANK YOU, BUT NO THANK YOU. WOMAN WHO CAN NOT DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THEIR NEEDS AND FOCUS ON MAKING, MAKING MEN MARRY THEM NEED HELP
I love the way he made his point valid where she was at lost for words. That brother head strong 💪🏾
y'all quit it with that sad music in the background
Thank you
To signify that the relationship is toast after this conversation
🥶🫡
😂
😂😂 right!!!!
This right here. I talk about those things all the time. That we don’t become a wife or husband because we married. What is wrong with allowing someone you see as the best compliment to your life to see who they will be marrying before they ask or say I do. Be you because it’s genuinely you not because of a title you have gained. There is no need for representatives when you move with integrity!
I see you mama. Beat that mug for ya King trust me he is on the way. They don’t make like you anymore smh. Teach these young girls that more is required before you get to “have it all”!!!
@@ricosuave3722we all are YOUniquely us and must be that out loud and with integrity. Be intentional with our intentions. Absolutely always sharing knowledge with those of all ages. If we don’t teach each other how can one grow with out seeds being planted?!
I'm with my love 30 years and not married
Integrity lost on most
@@solaresmamiacheva1264 Woman in the video WANTS to be married.
My grandparents always told me never do wifey duties for girlfriend positions! My husband never had this problem. He understand boundaries! We been married for 25 years
Beta
@neal cassady you talk about yourself right!
Your husband doesn't know his value. It is foolish to buy a car without test driving it just like it was foolish of him to marry you without knowing if you can do wifely duties.
@neal cassady ewwww, y'all men need therapy!
@@aircraftboy1648 ewww y'all men need therapy and the blood of Jesus. Get some help please because you sound stupid!
This is one of the hottest topics out there even the church teaches these things...
And anytime I hear it, or as a talking about from a lady...I'm like, we're destroying women of this generation.
Thank you for bringing this up at least, for giving it the attention it deserves.
"I would be doing MORE of those things". She wants a husband to do EVERYTHING he is already doing. However, she won't do more until he marries her. This is why America is a fucked up jacked up country. People go..."Here is the standard that I COMMAND you to do HOWEVER I do not have to do them." If you are not doing those things by NOW...you will NEVER do them with a fucking ring on your damn finger.
And Kevin Samuel is missed from telling it like it really is ..no other youtuber got the guts to do so. I agree with you 💯
I'm sure they do this or have the same problems in other countries wtf
💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯👍🏽👍🏽
Exactly that's who I am
"I'm already a husband, just not your husband yet" 💯
Speaks volumes. Run girlfriend. He's a provider and not willing to share his non committal a,,,s.
@@lauraowens7059 wow you're lost. Lmao I'm starting to think women don't understand or comprehend logic.
If "love" isn't the first thing she said when he asked why she needs to reevaluate. You notice money was first.
Well he's getting husband benefits!! He's saying he's not in love with you to marry you! DROP THAT DUDE REAL FAST!! 🙄🙄🙄
You wasn't listening to him, she's getting husband benefits!!
You are slower than a Monday, bet you single af
She's the one that said she's not doing shit for him unless she gets a ring. But he's doing everything a husband should do and she ain't his wife.
Tip: Show him that you know how to be a wife for a period of time. Now he knows you’re capable. If he doesn’t want to put a ring 💍 on it, you leave.
How long should be the time period?
@@jeremiahborders2959 for me it would depend on the person. For example, I give an 18 month time clock. I go hard and put my best foot forward..get to know him, all that good stuff for 18 months tops if we make it that far. We should know what we want to do by then.
@Weird Gardener 🌱 nope you have to live with someone first and get to know them fully and that takes more than a year because it's a process first you date then you move in together and experience that and if you're still In love then you get married then have kids but y'all wanna skip steps and that's why the divorce rate is so damn high
@Weird Gardener 🌱 so wrong. That’s why most marriages fail. You’re not even out of the honeymoon phase at that point. Most reasonable timeframe is 2.5 years. And that’s if all the steps are taken.
Thanks!
I hear women say that all the time. This is how women lose their “husband” to a woman that acts like a wife.
Just a honest question for a women,
What are 'wife's ways to act... like how woukd you want and expect a women to act if was your 'wife'...?
Real question notching a smart ass I'm genuinely wanting to know, cause I lately found myself at 32 genuinely in my heart wanting a forever man and to be married so yeah..... look forward to your genuine reply if it's gonna be sarcastic immature or whatever just dont bother replying I want I an honest genuine response as I gave when I asked the question
Thanks🙂 God bless hope your doing well
Shay
@@shaybaeXx1989 Short answer: Be a ride or die
How: compliant(not like slavery but not nagging him on the daily over something small or trivial) also *loyalty* is a huge one, helpful (around the house, with his business whatever it may be that could make his day easier) 0 hoe tendencies (if you have Any hoe traits and characteristics delete them in your next software update its like a virus that keeps women single and men not marrying).
@@jaymiles5206 oh well if that's actually what every man looks at as marriage material then I check every box I just haven't found a man who is marriage material and the ones I do know and possibly coukd be I'm too scared trust and I also have 2 children which makes it harder s.fornne to trust cause he needs to be really good for my boys to look up to and want them to be a man like him, like set great examples all round and also I certainly acknowledge that's a massive thing for a man to have to have especially if their not all round decent, and vice versa me being a good example for another man and his children especially if he has a daughter
But I'm 100% ride or die loyal, I lived a long pretty fuked life and had alot of life experiences alot of which people should never experience but it's also made me who I am and the solid characteristics personality and loyalty I am and will have forever
Good riddance.
Listen to what he's saying don't just hear them if you keep pushing you're going to lose it❤❤❤
I treated my husband the same way I do now as a wife then when we were dating. U should show ur partner that u are a good girlfriend, therefore he knows u will also be a good wife.
And I'm sure your an amazing wife! Keep it up 🥰
Right, but how long those it take? How long was you his girlfriend before becoming a wife??
@@1711-n2r about 2 years.
@@celeste.cutz2020 ok that sounds fair and normal. I know people that go 5, 10 years playing wife role and they still don’t get the actual wife title.
To quote a famous sailor,
“I am what I am, and that's all that I am.”,
I am not your vision of what you think i should be. Goodbye and good luck.
What is the point of dating if not for marriage ? Second point if you aren’t doing wifely duties I value in you before I marry you marrying you is only going to allow you to take half of what I own while still being the same asshole or even getting worse why am I in anyway incentivized to marry you then hmm?
Until after the wedding, you're not bond to anything, wait until you know them well enough, to invest your life in them. Don't become emotionally involved, until you check them out. Use your head. Avoid a lifetime of regret.
You're never bound to anybody period. Marriage is a legal contract. Not some twin flame entanglement. Imagine saying these woo wishful thinking nonsense things in a world with no-fault-divorce
@@spicynoodle7419 marriage is NOT a contract. It's a covenant between husband, wife, and the Lord.
The thinking that marriage is a contract is what's wrong with the world. A covenant states that no matter what you do, I'll always do my part, regardless. A contract states that if you don't do your part, I don't have to do mine.
@@justinl9677 there is no lord. If your wife decides to top having sex with you and you stop giving her money in return, you're going to jail. It's not 1422
@@justinl9677 marriage is a contract bro .. if u break the contract im entitled to take u money . 🤣🤣🤣
"I'm just not your husband yet!"
You betta say dat shit!!!!
He's already doing Husband Duties BUT she's NOT DOING WIFE DUTIES right after that I'm OUTA There🙏🏿👍🏼🙏🏿
@bina nocht That's not his first duty. A husband is who the man is which is reflected in what he does. Same for a wife
@bina nocht
This is why men should not listen to women
The issue is he sees himself as a husband and she sees herself as a girlfriend. Because women don't like to settle he should down grade himself to be boyfriend with boyfriend responsibility. After sometime after her eggs are old and she ask for a ring, he should tell her that's only for the one who qualify as a wife.
@@aircraftboy1648 Yeah he should really just bounce. She's not a wife in her character and how she treats relationships. Basically he's living intentionally to be a husband ready for a wife. She's being selfish and immature. Not worth his time at all. Men moving purposefully to be a husband should never deal with women who date for selfish reasons and don't treat a relationship seriously
@@Renshai32 I agree, he knows what he wants, she is not it. Plan a favorable exit strategy. Until then, it is boyfriend girlfriend.
He is absolutely just like I am and when I was presented with the same thing, I was like "so, I already check all of your boxes that I'm a good fit to marry, because that's just how I am, anyway...but you refuse to even try to do the same for me until I Marry you?? (She said 'yep!', proudly).. kick rocks! Nope!" & she was shocked. Now she's with an abusive dude and claims shes happy but everyone knows she isn't like she was with me...Men are taken for granted all of the time. (Women are too, just not nearly to the same degree)
So I am reading through the comments and it is so abundantly clear that some of you struggle with the concept of wanting for your partner what you want for yourself. He is doing the things she is looking for in a husband and that's why she wants to marry him because he is doing what she requires. She isn't reciprocating. Do y'all get that? 😂 No wonder this is where we at in current relationships
I'm surprised too. This is the message he his passing across.
I get it 💯. To add to it, if this were me saying something like she is saying, it would be because I’m scared of playing the fool. Me pouring into my man with acts of service, words of affirmation, quality time, all of that, causes me to fall deeper, connect more. If I am saying that I don’t want to do more of those things it would be from fear that in the end I poured so much in and ended up empty handed.
However, we cannot operate in fear, so the better solution would be to have the conversations surrounding expectations of marriage, appropriate time frames, etc. vs saying I ain’t doin this or that because I’m just your girlfriend. Even the way it was said out of her mouth had undertones of devaluing the title.
My thoughts, love this perspective.