You are my Tribe! I flecking loved this particular podcast and it’s one that I know I will listen to again (because I got distracted doing Wordle before midnight in the middle 😂) I actually struggled trying to watch some of the videos on your main channel to start with until I understood they were made predominantly for a NT audience, as soon as I understood that I was able to process it better. I love, love, love the podcasts.
Yeah i connect with so much that u talk about. I've been subscribed and i listen to the podcasts and watch the videos. You make me laugh and help me understand myself
When I peered into the autism mirror I didn't expect to see an Australian guy looking back! I'm an (as yet) undiagnosed UK woman in my mid-50s and currently in the self-discovery phase. I resonate hugely and your content is helping a lot. You also crack me up - I've never laughed so much in my life!! Thank you.
omg - same here, I'm a danish 51 year old living in the Netherlands and I literally told a friend yesterday that I was watching my Aussie alter ego - Orion, you make me laugh/cry/relate so much, thank you!!! 😅☺ PS. wishing you strength coping with the onslaught of daily life - it is so very exhausting and hard not to burn out all the time
Orion, thank you, my eyes are slightly moist after you said about not being able to cope with all the pressure. I masked from an early age in my 20s had a breakdown, then my 30s then my 40s with good times in between it was the pressure of appearing normal that exhausted me. Couple of suicide attempts and bankrupt twice throughout that time. I'm lucky to be alive. I'm not saying it gets easier but I have taken the approach of being like Larry David and the attitude of 'if you don't like me then f*** you'. Doesn't always work but it helps I follow my passions and listen to people like you and Jen and remember it's the normal typical people that make us feel abnormal. Sorry for the rant but this video 'got me' thank you ❤
For me, it was the description of autistic inertia that really got me thinking that I needed to consider seriously whether or not I am autistic. And special interests. I try not to get so completely drawn in and obsessed but I don't seem to have a choice. And then there are all those other little things like always feeling like the outsider at a party or the like. I'm outside, watching, I'm not inside, doing, even if I am pretending to be inside, doing. "Pretending to be inside, doing," sounds a lot like masking, now I think about it.
Thank you for all your work helping us and others to understand our autistic "self".....I have a request. If you already have done this, please direct me to the video. Thank you. I would love to have a short (under 30 minutes) video to share with friends and family regarding autism basics. The biggest issue I have over and over again, that they just do not understand, is when I reach the point of a meltdown or sensory overload; it is too late and I can't stop it. I do everything in my power to avoid any situation that night possibly be a trigger for me, but sometimes those stealth ninja incidents just simply sneak up on me......BTW, I am a high functioning professional female senior.
It can be worthwhile thinking about how adults described you as a child. Were you 'sensitive', 'shy', 'gifted', or maybe 'an indigo child'? In my experience, neurotypical adults frequently apply these labels to autistic children who don't present in the classical way.
Yep, my grandmother used to introduce me to people and apologize for me not speaking and being shy, or would say don’t be so shy, don’t be so sensitive. She didn’t know, and life was a struggle for me to talk to people. I’m in the process at age 53 of going through evaluation, after my first appt (3 total) at the autism center she says she is 99 percent that I am mildly (level 1) autistic based on questions I answered and my results on the AQ TEST. I stumbled upon this in pursuit of looking into it for my adult son. Thank God for this channel and Orion.
Orion, I love your videos. They make me feel seen for the first time in 30 years and are helping me ditch my imposter syndrome, which is good for my daughter and husband because they also have AuDHD. I wish I could donate more than just two quid. Please forgive my cheapness. I'm also sorry to the * I didn't want to give TH-cam any reason to take my comment down. I was hoping, could we please talk about the Autistic children who are bullied, ab**ed and ostracised by their own parents or parental guardians, and how that affects them as adults with masking, relationships, ect? I was one of those kids, and my biological mother lived firmly in denial. I was Autistic because of the social stigma surrounding it no matter how many people told her I was. She always said I was too smart and pretty to be the R word. Her words, not mine. She bullied me my entire life even after I was diagnosed as an adult until I cut her off. I have been diagnosed by 3 different doctors in two different countries, and she still refuses to accept it. I have no idea what to do to convince her and show her she has been torturing her Autistic child for 3 decades until I had a mental breakdown. So I cut her off. She still to this day will say I am just badly behaved, evil, manipulative, and ab**e her. She used that to send me away to mental health facilities, RTC's, Therapudic Boarding Schools, Wilderness Therapy, etc for the formative teen years of my brain development. Those places are rife with ab**e. Especially for an Autistic Child, we were usually targeted.
It sounds like you had a narcissistic parent and I'm sorry to tell you, you will probably never get any kind of apology or validation from her. The best thing you can do is let her go. Cut her out of your life and try to find people who support you. I've had to cut people from my life and it has helped me immensely. It's finding a way to let it go and forgive your mother and yourself that's difficult. Learning how to love yourself is a difficult journey, too. Good luck to you. I hope you find the peace and joy in life you deserve.
@ThatWeirdLady2519 oh, she 💯 is a narcissist. I still think it's important to highlight that the stigma even extends to the parents of Autistic children. I have cut her off in 2020. I edited my post to say that as well. The last straw was when my ex tried to unalive me after years of DV/SA and I asked for help and she sat there while her mother scolded me "that a husband can't do those things to his wife because he owns her. He can do whatever he likes, and you can't call it that you are his wife, not a woman of the night. " I went into Autistic Burnout at that very moment. It took me years to get out.
@ThatWeirdLady2519 Yes, a matriarchal one funnily enough, well not funny I went through that, but that you ask it makes it funny because it's very clear to outsiders its a cult. I didn't realize until I was nearly 30. It's run by my biological grandmother. You have to do whatever she says, or she pulls all support financially, and she made sure I never worked or learned proper workable skills. Any time I tried to get a job she would say she would take my house and put my kids on the street. Nothing I owned was mine, they walked right into my house whenever they pleased without warning, and I was their servant for most of my life. She is first gen immigrant from war-torn Korea.
@@PlanetAutistica I think it was obvious to me because I grew up in a cult as well. Which makes being autistic ten times harder because you are dealing with cult trauma on top of the difficulty of being autistic. It's rough and I've had a lot of stuff to work through. I'm sure you have, too.
After self-identifying as autistic, I purchased and tried to use a number of stim toys/gadgets, but have gone back to mostly leg jiggling, constant stretching, picking cuticles, finger tapping. I just do these things more consciously and am now more aware of how comforting/regulating these actions are.
The DSM5 entry for autism reads like a fashion-based critique of our behaviour. The word 'abnormal' is used so often and essentially means 'not what most people do'. Abnormal eye contact, or abnormal focus intensity, is fashion-based language, not clinical or scientific. It's a bit like if people only wore the colours red, blue, or yellow but then a purple-wearing individual is "discovered" and defined as exhibiting abnormal fashion interests. The remedy: behaviour therapy to clue them in on what colours they should wear to gain acceptance from the majority. Autism is often characterised as being someone who doesn't like change, but I'm left wondering if it's the other way around - neurotypical society doesn't like change, or those who are different, and would quite like us to just get between the bookends of general consensus.
I'll have to come back and check out this video again. So accurate and so entertaining, possibly because the DSM-5 is so inaccurate, due to being summarised too much perhaps. Can Autism be summarised into such a short thing - I don't think so. And the masking is such an important area. We are taught to mask from such an early age, basically as soon as we can understand the english language. My Psychologist said so many of the same, typical things - You can make eye contact etc. My Friend says oh you can hold a job etc, you can do anything - Can I? You did so well in School? Did I? I got 69, I couldn't get into the courses I wanted, or into the University I wanted. I may have gotten A's in assignments, but in the exam room, with so many distractions? Forget it. So many Rants to have Orion. There is so much frustration in being a late diagnosed Adult. Most of which come from people not understanding all the difficulties that we are going through because we are masking so well; but internally we are feeling everything so much, but it is not visible to these other people. Just because it is not visible, does not mean it's not there. Aarrgghhh.
I used to think of autistic inertia like a cargo ship - you can go as long as you need to, but any change in speed or direction are going to take some effort.
7:54 Early on in a past relationship, my then partner asked me to show emotions and not "look like I'm going to kill her" when we were doing the dirty. I had to think about my face with her and I do this with my current partner... 🤣oh god.
I had a thought and I just can’t get over it: they call autistic people “restrictive and repetitive,” AND YET, that is how I would describe the small talk thing NTs insist on. IT’S ALL RELATIVE.
Throughout my life I’ve always felt different compared to others. There’s been the deep visceral questioning of “what is wrong with me” since I was a child. The last 6 months I’ve been deep diving into autism. As a child I was diagnosed with ADHD, yet something was still missing. For the first time in my life at 36, not only do I have a better understanding of who I am, I no longer feel totally alone. I strongly resonate with autistic creators and the community more than anyone I’ve ever met. If there’s one thing I know to be true, it’s that I’m autistic. Most of my trauma is due to my experiences living in an NT world as well. Thank you for creating a platform for those of us who have struggled our entire lives. You’re truly helping so many of us.
The inertia of struggling to get me into the tub as a kiddo, and then having just as hard a time trying to get me out, even though I’d been in the tub for over an hour - I really feel for my mom.
one time i read a meme about this little girl and how she accidentally called neurotypicals "neurodifficults" and I feel like this video just cemented that idea for me lol
this was marvelous! thank you, i cant hear this enough... it helps me see myself & why i am who/what i am. i am 69 and undiagnosed, i have told therapists before that i dont feel like i fit in anywhere. school, work and in society in general, but did they even remotely 'pick up' on this? NO. feels as if im one of us. it feels better to know than wonder why. Thank You.
Another fantastic video/podcast, thanks Orion. You’re so right about autistic burnout. My daughter went through so many meltdowns and shutdowns during her last 3 years at school, but made it to achieve her baccalaureate (no idea how). She then spent 2 years in her bedroom, totally burnt out, doing nothing but follow her special interests and eat when necessary. Then one day, totally unexpectedly, she said she now needed to think about her future, that she wanted to study forensic science. She’d done all the research, even enrolled for an online foundation course and exam in forensic science, without me knowing, and achieved a pass of 99%. Last year, after 4 years at uni (with amazing support from their wellbeing team) she graduated with a 1st class honours BSc. She’s taking this year off, no burnout, but needing some self-regulation, whilst learning Norwegian and applying for jobs in Norway, to move in with her boyfriend there. He just finished an MSc in psychology, seems to understand her better that I do .. I’m pretty sure he’s autistic too. I’ve always feared for her future but now, for the first time in her life, she seems so much happier and understood.
My almost 29yr old son is Autistic, and I wouldn't change him for quids! The minute I held him in my arms, I knew there was something 'different' about this one. I was ridiculed constantly because I was rattling cages! I was told 'Developmental Delay Disorder'. Not good enough! He was 18mths old when I finally got his Autism Diagnosis. Then a whole new world opened up with Speech Therapy, and a ton of other stuff. My daughter, 28, still is in a bad place. I don't know how to help her! She tells me she has ADHD, but I've never seen any evidence of this. I think she's grasping at straws. I don't know how to help her.
Is your podcast on Tidal? I don't use Amazon because they treat their workers like shit and I don't use Spotify because they don't pay their artists enough and they platform known disinformation espouser Joe Rogan
My therapist diagnosed me with BPD bc my special interest is boys lol and I am specialized in being a hoe. But hoe no mo’ bc I get into too much trouble. Thanks for the videos truly helping me break down all the biggest tragic events in my life
I really hope I get my diagnosis on Monday, not sure how else they will explain all my traits...(hopefully not by saying I'm just a 💩 neurotypical person)
"I hope you enjoyed it. If you didn't, get stuffed." 🤣🤣🤣
Keep doing what you do Orion. Much appreciated
Thank you thank you thank you for all you are doing. It’s such a comfort to listen to your podcasts and videos.
You are my Tribe!
I flecking loved this particular podcast and it’s one that I know I will listen to again (because I got distracted doing Wordle before midnight in the middle 😂)
I actually struggled trying to watch some of the videos on your main channel to start with until I understood they were made predominantly for a NT audience, as soon as I understood that I was able to process it better.
I love, love, love the podcasts.
Yeah i connect with so much that u talk about. I've been subscribed and i listen to the podcasts and watch the videos. You make me laugh and help me understand myself
When I peered into the autism mirror I didn't expect to see an Australian guy looking back! I'm an (as yet) undiagnosed UK woman in my mid-50s and currently in the self-discovery phase. I resonate hugely and your content is helping a lot. You also crack me up - I've never laughed so much in my life!! Thank you.
omg - same here, I'm a danish 51 year old living in the Netherlands and I literally told a friend yesterday that I was watching my Aussie alter ego - Orion, you make me laugh/cry/relate so much, thank you!!! 😅☺
PS. wishing you strength coping with the onslaught of daily life - it is so very exhausting and hard not to burn out all the time
😂😍
Orion, thank you, my eyes are slightly moist after you said about not being able to cope with all the pressure. I masked from an early age in my 20s had a breakdown, then my 30s then my 40s with good times in between it was the pressure of appearing normal that exhausted me. Couple of suicide attempts and bankrupt twice throughout that time. I'm lucky to be alive. I'm not saying it gets easier but I have taken the approach of being like Larry David and the attitude of 'if you don't like me then f*** you'. Doesn't always work but it helps I follow my passions and listen to people like you and Jen and remember it's the normal typical people that make us feel abnormal. Sorry for the rant but this video 'got me' thank you ❤
For me, it was the description of autistic inertia that really got me thinking that I needed to consider seriously whether or not I am autistic. And special interests. I try not to get so completely drawn in and obsessed but I don't seem to have a choice.
And then there are all those other little things like always feeling like the outsider at a party or the like. I'm outside, watching, I'm not inside, doing, even if I am pretending to be inside, doing. "Pretending to be inside, doing," sounds a lot like masking, now I think about it.
Thank you for all your work helping us and others to understand our autistic "self".....I have a request. If you already have done this, please direct me to the video. Thank you. I would love to have a short (under 30 minutes) video to share with friends and family regarding autism basics. The biggest issue I have over and over again, that they just do not understand, is when I reach the point of a meltdown or sensory overload; it is too late and I can't stop it. I do everything in my power to avoid any situation that night possibly be a trigger for me, but sometimes those stealth ninja incidents just simply sneak up on me......BTW, I am a high functioning professional female senior.
I really relead to everything you have said .
It can be worthwhile thinking about how adults described you as a child. Were you 'sensitive', 'shy', 'gifted', or maybe 'an indigo child'? In my experience, neurotypical adults frequently apply these labels to autistic children who don't present in the classical way.
Yep, my grandmother used to introduce me to people and apologize for me not speaking and being shy, or would say don’t be so shy, don’t be so sensitive. She didn’t know, and life was a struggle for me to talk to people. I’m in the process at age 53 of going through evaluation, after my first appt (3 total) at the autism center she says she is 99 percent that I am mildly (level 1) autistic based on questions I answered and my results on the AQ TEST. I stumbled upon this in pursuit of looking into it for my adult son. Thank God for this channel and Orion.
I wasn't shy but I was labeled too sensitive and gifted.
Orion, I love your videos. They make me feel seen for the first time in 30 years and are helping me ditch my imposter syndrome, which is good for my daughter and husband because they also have AuDHD. I wish I could donate more than just two quid. Please forgive my cheapness. I'm also sorry to the * I didn't want to give TH-cam any reason to take my comment down.
I was hoping, could we please talk about the Autistic children who are bullied, ab**ed and ostracised by their own parents or parental guardians, and how that affects them as adults with masking, relationships, ect?
I was one of those kids, and my biological mother lived firmly in denial. I was Autistic because of the social stigma surrounding it no matter how many people told her I was. She always said I was too smart and pretty to be the R word. Her words, not mine.
She bullied me my entire life even after I was diagnosed as an adult until I cut her off. I have been diagnosed by 3 different doctors in two different countries, and she still refuses to accept it. I have no idea what to do to convince her and show her she has been torturing her Autistic child for 3 decades until I had a mental breakdown. So I cut her off.
She still to this day will say I am just badly behaved, evil, manipulative, and ab**e her.
She used that to send me away to mental health facilities, RTC's, Therapudic Boarding Schools, Wilderness Therapy, etc for the formative teen years of my brain development. Those places are rife with ab**e. Especially for an Autistic Child, we were usually targeted.
It sounds like you had a narcissistic parent and I'm sorry to tell you, you will probably never get any kind of apology or validation from her.
The best thing you can do is let her go. Cut her out of your life and try to find people who support you.
I've had to cut people from my life and it has helped me immensely.
It's finding a way to let it go and forgive your mother and yourself that's difficult. Learning how to love yourself is a difficult journey, too.
Good luck to you. I hope you find the peace and joy in life you deserve.
@ThatWeirdLady2519 oh, she 💯 is a narcissist. I still think it's important to highlight that the stigma even extends to the parents of Autistic children.
I have cut her off in 2020. I edited my post to say that as well. The last straw was when my ex tried to unalive me after years of DV/SA and I asked for help and she sat there while her mother scolded me "that a husband can't do those things to his wife because he owns her. He can do whatever he likes, and you can't call it that you are his wife, not a woman of the night. "
I went into Autistic Burnout at that very moment. It took me years to get out.
@@PlanetAutistica Did you happen to grow up in a cult? That sounds like a cult mindset.
@ThatWeirdLady2519 Yes, a matriarchal one funnily enough, well not funny I went through that, but that you ask it makes it funny because it's very clear to outsiders its a cult. I didn't realize until I was nearly 30. It's run by my biological grandmother. You have to do whatever she says, or she pulls all support financially, and she made sure I never worked or learned proper workable skills. Any time I tried to get a job she would say she would take my house and put my kids on the street. Nothing I owned was mine, they walked right into my house whenever they pleased without warning, and I was their servant for most of my life. She is first gen immigrant from war-torn Korea.
@@PlanetAutistica I think it was obvious to me because I grew up in a cult as well. Which makes being autistic ten times harder because you are dealing with cult trauma on top of the difficulty of being autistic. It's rough and I've had a lot of stuff to work through. I'm sure you have, too.
After self-identifying as autistic, I purchased and tried to use a number of stim toys/gadgets, but have gone back to mostly leg jiggling, constant stretching, picking cuticles, finger tapping. I just do these things more consciously and am now more aware of how comforting/regulating these actions are.
Because I am a girl and a savant and I was born in 1981.
I called it ACTING.
The DSM5 entry for autism reads like a fashion-based critique of our behaviour. The word 'abnormal' is used so often and essentially means 'not what most people do'. Abnormal eye contact, or abnormal focus intensity, is fashion-based language, not clinical or scientific. It's a bit like if people only wore the colours red, blue, or yellow but then a purple-wearing individual is "discovered" and defined as exhibiting abnormal fashion interests. The remedy: behaviour therapy to clue them in on what colours they should wear to gain acceptance from the majority.
Autism is often characterised as being someone who doesn't like change, but I'm left wondering if it's the other way around - neurotypical society doesn't like change, or those who are different, and would quite like us to just get between the bookends of general consensus.
I'll have to come back and check out this video again. So accurate and so entertaining, possibly because the DSM-5 is so inaccurate, due to being summarised too much perhaps. Can Autism be summarised into such a short thing - I don't think so. And the masking is such an important area. We are taught to mask from such an early age, basically as soon as we can understand the english language. My Psychologist said so many of the same, typical things - You can make eye contact etc. My Friend says oh you can hold a job etc, you can do anything - Can I? You did so well in School? Did I? I got 69, I couldn't get into the courses I wanted, or into the University I wanted. I may have gotten A's in assignments, but in the exam room, with so many distractions? Forget it. So many Rants to have Orion. There is so much frustration in being a late diagnosed Adult. Most of which come from people not understanding all the difficulties that we are going through because we are masking so well; but internally we are feeling everything so much, but it is not visible to these other people. Just because it is not visible, does not mean it's not there. Aarrgghhh.
My life long self stim is twirling my hair
I used to think of autistic inertia like a cargo ship - you can go as long as you need to, but any change in speed or direction are going to take some effort.
Unhinged Podcast, Love it.
Lol love you sir
7:54 Early on in a past relationship, my then partner asked me to show emotions and not "look like I'm going to kill her" when we were doing the dirty. I had to think about my face with her and I do this with my current partner... 🤣oh god.
This is actually quite hilarious 😂 I don’t know what my “sexface” looks like and I don’t want to know 😆
I had a thought and I just can’t get over it: they call autistic people “restrictive and repetitive,” AND YET, that is how I would describe the small talk thing NTs insist on. IT’S ALL RELATIVE.
Throughout my life I’ve always felt different compared to others. There’s been the deep visceral questioning of “what is wrong with me” since I was a child. The last 6 months I’ve been deep diving into autism. As a child I was diagnosed with ADHD, yet something was still missing. For the first time in my life at 36, not only do I have a better understanding of who I am, I no longer feel totally alone. I strongly resonate with autistic creators and the community more than anyone I’ve ever met. If there’s one thing I know to be true, it’s that I’m autistic. Most of my trauma is due to my experiences living in an NT world as well. Thank you for creating a platform for those of us who have struggled our entire lives. You’re truly helping so many of us.
Great show!
Reciprocity........thanks, now that word is stuck in my head!
Wonderful as always! TYSM
The inertia of struggling to get me into the tub as a kiddo, and then having just as hard a time trying to get me out, even though I’d been in the tub for over an hour - I really feel for my mom.
one time i read a meme about this little girl and how she accidentally called neurotypicals "neurodifficults" and I feel like this video just cemented that idea for me lol
Thanks!
I really appreciate it.
this was marvelous! thank you, i cant hear this enough... it helps me see myself & why i am who/what i am. i am 69 and undiagnosed, i have told therapists before that i dont feel like i fit in anywhere. school, work and in society in general, but did they even remotely 'pick up' on this? NO. feels as if im one of us. it feels better to know than wonder why. Thank You.
Another fantastic video/podcast, thanks Orion. You’re so right about autistic burnout. My daughter went through so many meltdowns and shutdowns during her last 3 years at school, but made it to achieve her baccalaureate (no idea how). She then spent 2 years in her bedroom, totally burnt out, doing nothing but follow her special interests and eat when necessary. Then one day, totally unexpectedly, she said she now needed to think about her future, that she wanted to study forensic science. She’d done all the research, even enrolled for an online foundation course and exam in forensic science, without me knowing, and achieved a pass of 99%.
Last year, after 4 years at uni (with amazing support from their wellbeing team) she graduated with a 1st class honours BSc. She’s taking this year off, no burnout, but needing some self-regulation, whilst learning Norwegian and applying for jobs in Norway, to move in with her boyfriend there. He just finished an MSc in psychology, seems to understand her better that I do .. I’m pretty sure he’s autistic too. I’ve always feared for her future but now, for the first time in her life, she seems so much happier and understood.
She had definitely found her tribe - thanks Orion ❤
Hi. Have you done anything on skill regression?
My almost 29yr old son is Autistic, and I wouldn't change him for quids!
The minute I held him in my arms, I knew there was something 'different' about this one.
I was ridiculed constantly because I was rattling cages!
I was told 'Developmental Delay Disorder'.
Not good enough!
He was 18mths old when I finally got his Autism Diagnosis.
Then a whole new world opened up with Speech Therapy, and a ton of other stuff.
My daughter, 28, still is in a bad place.
I don't know how to help her!
She tells me she has ADHD, but I've never seen any evidence of this.
I think she's grasping at straws.
I don't know how to help her.
I don't feel like an alien anymore because I am mostly around neurodivergent people now.
Is your podcast on Tidal? I don't use Amazon because they treat their workers like shit and I don't use Spotify because they don't pay their artists enough and they platform known disinformation espouser Joe Rogan
Happy General Election Day 🗳️
My therapist diagnosed me with BPD bc my special interest is boys lol and I am specialized in being a hoe. But hoe no mo’ bc I get into too much trouble. Thanks for the videos truly helping me break down all the biggest tragic events in my life
I really hope I get my diagnosis on Monday, not sure how else they will explain all my traits...(hopefully not by saying I'm just a 💩 neurotypical person)
Happy 4rth of july.