This is the first time I heard of visual stimming. I do this! I stare at bright windows or lights and then close my eyes to see the colors left behind.
I was sitting in my car, feeling overwhelmed by a very stressful workday and was on the verge of tears when your "Next time, Gadget" line made me smile. Thanks for that.
MENTAL stimming can be a huge thing to me, especially through music. Short musical verses that I caught from a song, or an add, will go on repeat in my head. Its freaking awful. It took huge proportions during Covid, as I went through a professional burnout. My doctor wrongly thought it was depression. I know now it was a typical autistic burnout. It was truely very difficult. Eased down as soon as I was on sick leave and stayed home... Now, when music notes go on a loop in my head, I know BURNOUT is near, and I'm extra careful and pull over. ADHD too by the way...
I have the songs that play over in my mind too. Though I have never related them to pending burnout. But now that I think about it it does make since. In the past (middle school through highschool) I never even really knew (or maybe just failed at paying attention) the song was playing in my head.oftwn times I remember trying to NT it in the activities of my day and would constantly hear this low verbal/musical hum in the back ground of my mind while I was a tempting to multitask the shit out of my day. Eventually, I remember making a complete and conscious effort to stop everything I was doing and listen to the back ground noise in my head. Turns out it was one of my fav songs, a few lines of the lyrics was on repeat. Depending upon my life moment or chaos at that time the lyrics would change and continue on repeat with no conscious effort. I wonder if it's possibly both a sign of possible burnout and a type of stemming.
I did (and sometimes I still do) so many of these darn things... it's so scary and that's why I suspect so strongly I'm an autist. Let's give some examples: * Picking nails/fingers. Sometimes I even bite between the fingers. Painful, by the way. * Biting my nails. * Sometimes I repeat the last thing I said in a previous conversation like... 5 times. For example: I was talking to my mom and I end with the phrase "That's how it is". Then, after that, I see myself repeating, almost silently, the same phrase, doesn't matter if I'm alone or not. * I have a repeating playlist of 3-5 songs. * I play some videogames over and over, doesn't matter I know every corner and every bit, and I know ALL the routines of that game. It doesn't matter, I'll still play it. * Foot tapping, or moving my legs while I'm sitting. I did that A LOT in my old job. It was stressing. * Sometimes I pick little pieces of tin foil, I make mini-tin foil hats (like the conspiracy ones) and wrap them around my fingers * Rubber bands, I play with them until they finally snap. * Fidgeting with my fingers * Getting out of the house with my headphones. My parents ALWAYS criticized this, but it calms me, especially when I travel in car. I don't want to chat there, I immediately put these on. My father hates that. * The paper clips, I also bend them!! Did with some recently. * Chewing pens * Scratching the back of my neck My desk at home is a mess precisely for all the things I do without thinking... but now after your vid I learned I was stimming all my life. Amazing. I was so embarrassed about many of these things
Re watching the same show/video over and over, listening to the same songs over and over: just at me next time, geez 😂 I also used to pick at my fingernails and cuticles but I replaced that one with doing my nails once a week and then "ooh, pretty" instead of compulsively mangling them.
De-coiling paper clips was definitely something I did in school. Some of them had texture to grip the paper better, and that felt nice. I could never re-coil them nicely, though :( Watercolour paint works as a *fantastic* visual stim. The way it spreads through the water, or in feathery patterns over wet paper. And some pigments granulate as they dry, which causes a very nice visual texture.
A while ago i was alone in the breakroom at work and I found that the chairs are perfect for rocking back and forth in. It felt SO GOOD and really helped me relax between doing work. Hope I'm not breaking them down by bending them all the time but anyway. I just think it's so COOL that simple movements like that make us so happy and relaxed. Neurotypical people socialize, drink, smoke, watch TV, etc. to regulate and process emotions. All I need is a flexible chair lol
The eye tracing and finger tracing I do as well. I used to eye trace or toe trace the subtitles on tv shows. Other stims for me are finger tapping, picking, clicking, rubbing on textured surfaces, play with my hair, chew gum, spinning, swaying on my chair. I also visual stim. When I was a child, I’d spin the table and I spin myself as well. I even spin while I’m on the swing.
I’m sat crocheting and enjoyed some auditory stimming by listening to the pod twice! Thanks Orion I really got a lot out of this one. I am newly late-diagnosed 😊
It’s definitely a way of focusing my mind and doing something with my hands, so maybe? I’m not a crocheted who can mindlessly do it, it takes all of my attention.
I chew on the back of my gums, bounce my knees up and down, wag my foot back and forth when sitting with one of my legs crossed over the other, and rock back and forth when standing, play video games, stare at things. Not sure what else but probably other things... I'm 59 on a waiting list for diagnosis
I poke my finger with my thumb nail (I have a callous) and shake my foot (the stereotypical ADHD stim). Those are my most common stims. In noisy places like the bus, car, crowds etc. I hum at a low level that no one else can hear. This helps counteract the noise somehow.
I really appreciate that you brought up the link to self-harm. I've gotten this stim toy that has helped me to not relapse - it's this metal ring that's kind of a coil with lots of edges, and it provides pressure as well as a little pain if you need it, without it actually harming you. It stretches and can also be squeezed/compressed, depending on the kind of sensation you seek. "Spiky metal stim ring" is the best search term I can give.
Post it notes are great. I like to use my thumb to make them move, it creates the same sound as card shuffling. Provides visual, auditory, and tactile sensations at once. The tiny accordion ones are great too. Can't stand to use them as post it notes if they are outside the dispenser, but love to open and close them.
Thanks Orion. Used to bite my nails until hit in mouth in high school w floor hockey stick. Still cannot keep long nails - when they grow out I play and pick at my fingers and skin around them. Do not like long sleeves. Play air drum at times. Sometimes catch myself doing stuff and I’m like oh ….. 💙👊
Orion, thank you again for providing examples of stimming that resonate more with me than do some of the more "typical" forms of stimming generally provided in the autistic diagnostic literature. Also, I like (as did my late father, although I don't believe he was autistic) to feel the crisp edges/ends of pillowcases, and rubbing them against my finger, under my fingernail, and most especially in the crease between my fingers. In addition, as a toddler, I used to suck my thumb to the point that it caused a hardness on the surface of the skin (and I wonder if that could be related early on to autistic stimming).
Can listening to music with headphones at full blast count as stimming, sensory seeking or both? Because I do that EVERY time I run errands. It helps me stay as relaxed as possible, and actually keeps me in a great mood if that makes sense. I also pick the spilt and dead ends from my hair all the time... Like it's really just something I do and not think about, until I'm sitting there for an hour, or my spouse says something, and then I feel awkward about it... But they don't point it out in a mean way or make fun of me it... I'm just easily awkward. Idk if that makes sense😬
this was amazing! i stim almost constantly, didnt realise tho. my sisters are both stimmers as well. id have never been aware of this if it wasnt for you.thanks so much for explaining this so well. its way more than i thought before this podcast...
Thanks for sharing Orion! 🫶🏻 I'm 33 and have struggled with skin picking since I was very little. There used to be a birthmark on my shoulder. I think I fixated on it as a stress stim to help me cope in the big loud public school I went to. Anyway, that birthmark was gone by... Age 10 probably? IDK. I'm learning to listen to my body more and integrating stim tools that are healthier than me subconsciously attacking my body ha 🙃 It's challenging. It's wild to have a nervous system that is hyper sensitive to some types of touch and then seeks out other types of touch. 🤷🏼♀️ 🤪
I removed a birth mark as well. A nurse told me don't do that again as it can turn cancerous. Thus far mine hasn't but I guess that it is a possibility.
Talking about what happened to you is less hurtful than what is the matter with you. What is the matter with you ? Hurtful What happened to you? Less hurtful. Thank you for listening.
My teen was really bad about biting their nails. I got them gel nails done for the prom. They stopped biting their nails. Not a cheap cure but they do enjoy getting their nails done.
I also tried this when I was a teen and didn’t know why I did it - it’s not usually a good long term solution because it’s not a “bad habit to break” we need to stim and it weakens the natural nails so even if it stops them for a bit to give them a break which can be good when it gets to a painful point, it’ll most likely be a stim that comes back as again its not a habit like it might be for others so more stressful times may lead to their nails (even gel) being picked or bitten off again 🥲
I've gotten manicure fake nails a few times before too. Worth it. (A few times a few repeat visits.) Helps me (when I stop the fake nails) stop biting my nails and picking the extra skin around my fingernails. (After possibly agast looks, maybe positivity or staff timidness, I felt it was sacralige to ask them to cut them short. [Like netballer's nail-guidelines perhaps] I was a typist - admin, data entry and stuff. After a few visits I bit the bullet and would cut and file them right down on my own time.)) Nowadays I'd want someone with me to point out things / stick up for me when I'm too shy or afraid of retribution. Like to the beautician when I'm (obviously to me) in pain or trying to point out that they're grinding too much of my nails off.
Hi! Autistic here with a fear of the salons and a need for things to be done the way I like. If we literally don't speak the same language as the nail technician. This is another step beyond neurodivergent and neurotypical brains- one I feel in a service industry is quite rude actually and one reason I have had to come up with an alternative. I like most are gonna bite and stim away unless there is subterfuge. 😏 So first LEARN nail hygiene and tools- learn your products, learn your go to store ( I've been a beauty store at the corner girl to a Sally's at the strip mall girl wherever works, but don't count on CVS, Walgreens or pharmacys you need supplies, internet as always is there for you, but know what you are ordering from where. ) It is true that doing your nails can cause damage to them which is why if they want their nails done its now DIY. And trust me once you get into it . . . You GET IN TO IT. There are many avenues and directions this can go all depends on their personality. Regardless most importantly Learn to cycle between fake nails and your own nails, learn to remove the fake nails yourself without damaging your own nails and learning about nourishment products that keep your nails strong in between wear as well as tops coats that offer the same but with shiny or matte resistance. My favorite brand at the moment (especially works well for EDSers as our nails tend to not hold nail polish due to our collegen fallacy also leading to nails breakage) is Seche I recommend there top and base coat 2 pack as a great place to start. My next recommendation is nails have come a long way since My mother used to take me to the salon when I was a teen, I'm 39 now. Right now the most gentle and accessible option is actually teen friendly. You can get full affordable >poly-gel nail sets< At many of the places already listed above however in this case the internet maybe you best bet for varity. Very recently using a set bought off amazon I taught a 13yr old how to do her nails. I did the first, aided with the second and I could hardly believe she had a full set of 10 the next day. I was so impressed that she survived Busch Gardens and Water County only losing 3. First set of nails ever- thats pretty good, when we got back she was tired of the color and well they had to be pink for the barbie movie... She did it. I have the fancy electric filer which she could come to me for quick cleanups, tough bits and final touch ups. But I got her a set of files thought her how to use and clean them (all things that can be learned via you tube) and she was of faster than I could say here is you new kit 😂❤ Give them the tools- save them money for the rest of their lives. 🙃😉Also in college it was a really good side hussle for me, lol.
@@IndiaBarkleythis, basically. As long as you can think “oh this urge to bite my nails means I should stim”, and have some other way to stim, you can be fine, but just suppressing it full on leaves that emotional distress to build up with no release. Enforced suppression of our autistic needs is called masking, it’s forcing an external behavior without ever addressing the internal need that produced it (this is what behavior therapy does, and it is known to cause cptsd and massive identity/self image issues)
I love the colours of your sound board/ mixing thingy. Very cool. My bad/ unhelpful stims are what I call grooming to disfigurement. Something for a cleaning purpose or to make me more attractive to others. Bullcrap you get told like "no one likes people who don't take care of their looks". It's like popping pimples as a teen. Except instead of pimples its maybe massaging or dry rubbing/ dry exfoliating my face or shaving - but then it turns into I want to get rid of little skin bubbles of stuff on my face. When I feel like I can't stop, its frustrating and unsettling. Nice and good stimming is clicking pens, cooking meals from scratch, exploring ideas with pen or pencil on paper, playing with a basketball in my hands, folding my arms against my chest, and nowadays maybe gently rubbing the tops of my hands.
Orion you are the bomb, in the way we need, have to stim to keep from losing control. To denie stiiming we might as well say don't breathe. I stim because I need it to avoid from...... Hmmmm I just going to say it, cutting or from digging my head. Stim toys are great but they are not the only ways we or I stim. To denie kids that are autistic in a school setting to stop stiiming is bloody wrong. Schools need to get their heads out of their butts so to speak and provide a way for the autistic kid to stim. They need it plain and simple.
Orion - They was very educational for me as an advocate and supporter of my wife, who was recently diagnosed with autism later in her life. While this information is giving me a better understanding of why she does what she does and when, I'd also like to know, though, for example, how does your wife react, support and advocate for you when you display any of your stimming behaviors, ranging from slight to more potentially self-harming. and in private vs. social environments? Thank you.
I have to say that my verbal tics are completely new. Sudden onset. Palalalia. New. Not normal for me. I fear brain damage from multiple head injuries and the insane amount of fluid built up all around my skull. Stimming convo good though. Self care can be stimming/ self regulation in past. In clean environments. Using manicure/ nail care sets at home. That stuff. Helpful, self care, helps health outcomes.
There is nothing wrong with talking about what is happening to you. Hand rubbering . Nail biting . Pulling hair . Rocking for comfort . In connection to Stimming habits. Jamming to favorite songs. Calming inhale and exhale.
Was reminded how I would only watch the sound of music or merry Poppins for the first 5 years of my life 😂 and when I tried to watch the fox and the hound Disney movie (remember it like it was yesterday) it was too scary and had to be taken back to the video store (unlike the nazis trying to chase them in the sound of music😳😅)
I used to pick at my fingers/nails to the point that they would bleed. I've also been made fun of and singled out by teachers etc for doing it for as long as I can remember. I just thought I would never stop doing it. After being married for a few years and being told how gross it is by my now ex husband I just stopped doing it. I can't even remember when and why I stopped doing it, but I can see now that I was stimming.
Only 10mins in and already laughing out loud and couldn’t agree more about the sexy stim toys 😒😆 I’m sorry but nothing is as satisfying (or as sensory triggering for Dayne 😬) as biting the skin on my fingers and nails 😂 silicon bead necklace biting replacement? nowhere even close 😣😅 Do you also notice your sensory sensitivity gets hectically worse when stressed/overwhelmed? I get crazy irritated from my clothing that was fine before and I also notice it with normal sound and vibrations becoming unbearable 😬
I have a request pretty please. I’m thinking this would be used a lot and hoping you think it’s a good idea. So I am unable to speak about any feelings, trauma or lots of other things. (I go mute) Would you be able to make us a video which would simply explain to our friends and family that are uneducated on autism when you simply “don’t look like you have it” Im thinking a few of the traits and our thought process etc to explain to the older generation that don’t understand nor believe us. Video title “a video for friends and family on explaining autism” for example. I hope you get my point 😂. I’m working my way through all of your videos and am finding them hugely relatable and easy to watch so thank you very much! ❤
Don't forget that even neurotypicals sometimes click on their pen some of these people may get fidget toys I think it's also unfair to take fidget toys of them as well as long as they're using it in the proper way stupid kids from across classrooms that's not acceptable
I feel like a loser. Like a human scientific subject to study, observe, and research. That's _all_ we autistics are, aren't we? We're JUST autistics. And it gets worse. I was once taken to my boss's office--with her and her chef colleague--for touching my coworkers too much (CASUALLY on arms or shoulders). I was always very outgoing and tactile at work. The chef told me that we need the workers to be comfortable in a good work environment. That I shouldn't talk about anything other than work and school or tell my stories, because they may be inappropriate or upsetting (can't remember her exact words) to others. Now yeah, I pretty much didn't have a filter, but I don't think I said anything horrible. I only meant to have fun with my crew. I really didn't get specific information from the chef about subjects and references. She liked that I was outgoing, but she made it sound risky and in need of limits. And again, that I shouldn't touch anyone without consent. I own my mistakes, and I wouldn't have made them if anyone showed signs of discomfort. Plus, commenters won't ease up on the shaming. It's all "She was right" and "you sound like a creep" and "You shouldn't be touching your coworkers." I can't redeem myself, I can't be a good person, I can't be anything more than a guy on the spectrum. We're inferior human beings, aren't we? My sister's boyfriend was right.
This is the first time I heard of visual stimming. I do this! I stare at bright windows or lights and then close my eyes to see the colors left behind.
I was sitting in my car, feeling overwhelmed by a very stressful workday and was on the verge of tears when your "Next time, Gadget" line made me smile. Thanks for that.
MENTAL stimming can be a huge thing to me, especially through music. Short musical verses that I caught from a song, or an add, will go on repeat in my head. Its freaking awful.
It took huge proportions during Covid, as I went through a professional burnout.
My doctor wrongly thought it was depression. I know now it was a typical autistic burnout.
It was truely very difficult. Eased down as soon as I was on sick leave and stayed home...
Now, when music notes go on a loop in my head, I know BURNOUT is near, and I'm extra careful and pull over.
ADHD too by the way...
I have the songs that play over in my mind too. Though I have never related them to pending burnout. But now that I think about it it does make since.
In the past (middle school through highschool) I never even really knew (or maybe just failed at paying attention) the song was playing in my head.oftwn times I remember trying to NT it in the activities of my day and would constantly hear this low verbal/musical hum in the back ground of my mind while I was a tempting to multitask the shit out of my day. Eventually, I remember making a complete and conscious effort to stop everything I was doing and listen to the back ground noise in my head. Turns out it was one of my fav songs, a few lines of the lyrics was on repeat. Depending upon my life moment or chaos at that time the lyrics would change and continue on repeat with no conscious effort.
I wonder if it's possibly both a sign of possible burnout and a type of stemming.
I did (and sometimes I still do) so many of these darn things... it's so scary and that's why I suspect so strongly I'm an autist. Let's give some examples:
* Picking nails/fingers. Sometimes I even bite between the fingers. Painful, by the way.
* Biting my nails.
* Sometimes I repeat the last thing I said in a previous conversation like... 5 times. For example: I was talking to my mom and I end with the phrase "That's how it is". Then, after that, I see myself repeating, almost silently, the same phrase, doesn't matter if I'm alone or not.
* I have a repeating playlist of 3-5 songs.
* I play some videogames over and over, doesn't matter I know every corner and every bit, and I know ALL the routines of that game. It doesn't matter, I'll still play it.
* Foot tapping, or moving my legs while I'm sitting. I did that A LOT in my old job. It was stressing.
* Sometimes I pick little pieces of tin foil, I make mini-tin foil hats (like the conspiracy ones) and wrap them around my fingers
* Rubber bands, I play with them until they finally snap.
* Fidgeting with my fingers
* Getting out of the house with my headphones. My parents ALWAYS criticized this, but it calms me, especially when I travel in car. I don't want to chat there, I immediately put these on. My father hates that.
* The paper clips, I also bend them!! Did with some recently.
* Chewing pens
* Scratching the back of my neck
My desk at home is a mess precisely for all the things I do without thinking... but now after your vid I learned I was stimming all my life. Amazing. I was so embarrassed about many of these things
Re watching the same show/video over and over, listening to the same songs over and over: just at me next time, geez 😂
I also used to pick at my fingernails and cuticles but I replaced that one with doing my nails once a week and then "ooh, pretty" instead of compulsively mangling them.
De-coiling paper clips was definitely something I did in school. Some of them had texture to grip the paper better, and that felt nice.
I could never re-coil them nicely, though :(
Watercolour paint works as a *fantastic* visual stim. The way it spreads through the water, or in feathery patterns over wet paper. And some pigments granulate as they dry, which causes a very nice visual texture.
A while ago i was alone in the breakroom at work and I found that the chairs are perfect for rocking back and forth in. It felt SO GOOD and really helped me relax between doing work. Hope I'm not breaking them down by bending them all the time but anyway.
I just think it's so COOL that simple movements like that make us so happy and relaxed. Neurotypical people socialize, drink, smoke, watch TV, etc. to regulate and process emotions. All I need is a flexible chair lol
The eye tracing and finger tracing I do as well. I used to eye trace or toe trace the subtitles on tv shows. Other stims for me are finger tapping, picking, clicking, rubbing on textured surfaces, play with my hair, chew gum, spinning, swaying on my chair. I also visual stim. When I was a child, I’d spin the table and I spin myself as well. I even spin while I’m on the swing.
Oh wow I always used to spin on the swing. I loved it so much
Oh man I am learning that I stim like crazy. Picking my face is the worst.
I’m sat crocheting and enjoyed some auditory stimming by listening to the pod twice!
Thanks Orion I really got a lot out of this one.
I am newly late-diagnosed 😊
I'm so happy to hear that!
I crochet too! It doubles as my special interest and a way of stimming. Plus I get beanies, scarves, etc. out of it :)
Do you think crocheting is stimming?
It’s definitely a way of focusing my mind and doing something with my hands, so maybe?
I’m not a crocheted who can mindlessly do it, it takes all of my attention.
It really helps me relax.
I chew on the back of my gums, bounce my knees up and down, wag my foot back and forth when sitting with one of my legs crossed over the other, and rock back and forth when standing, play video games, stare at things. Not sure what else but probably other things... I'm 59 on a waiting list for diagnosis
2:42 i hear ya about the finger picking. Its very hard not too.
I poke my finger with my thumb nail (I have a callous) and shake my foot (the stereotypical ADHD stim). Those are my most common stims.
In noisy places like the bus, car, crowds etc. I hum at a low level that no one else can hear. This helps counteract the noise somehow.
I need a new stim. My favorite stim is snacking. I do it when I'm stressed, when I'm bored, or at transition times.
I really appreciate that you brought up the link to self-harm. I've gotten this stim toy that has helped me to not relapse - it's this metal ring that's kind of a coil with lots of edges, and it provides pressure as well as a little pain if you need it, without it actually harming you. It stretches and can also be squeezed/compressed, depending on the kind of sensation you seek. "Spiky metal stim ring" is the best search term I can give.
They’re called acupressure rings. I LOVE THEM!
@@janicetyson3257 THANK YOU!! Mine literally broke a couple days after making this comment and finding more has been so hard 😵💫
Post it notes are great. I like to use my thumb to make them move, it creates the same sound as card shuffling. Provides visual, auditory, and tactile sensations at once. The tiny accordion ones are great too. Can't stand to use them as post it notes if they are outside the dispenser, but love to open and close them.
Thanks Orion. Used to bite my nails until hit in mouth in high school w floor hockey stick. Still cannot keep long nails - when they grow out I play and pick at my fingers and skin around them. Do not like long sleeves. Play air drum at times. Sometimes catch myself doing stuff and I’m like oh ….. 💙👊
Woo Orion! Love going back and watching your videos
Scratching my skin with my hairbrush.
Picking my fingers. My thumb gets looking bad in the winter.
Picking my face is always great.
Orion, thank you again for providing examples of stimming that resonate more with me than do some of the more "typical" forms of stimming generally provided in the autistic diagnostic literature. Also, I like (as did my late father, although I don't believe he was autistic) to feel the crisp edges/ends of pillowcases, and rubbing them against my finger, under my fingernail, and most especially in the crease between my fingers. In addition, as a toddler, I used to suck my thumb to the point that it caused a hardness on the surface of the skin (and I wonder if that could be related early on to autistic stimming).
When I first read it I thought it said just keep swimming and I waited like four times I think you're very helpful and thank you for doing what you do
Can listening to music with headphones at full blast count as stimming, sensory seeking or both? Because I do that EVERY time I run errands. It helps me stay as relaxed as possible, and actually keeps me in a great mood if that makes sense. I also pick the spilt and dead ends from my hair all the time... Like it's really just something I do and not think about, until I'm sitting there for an hour, or my spouse says something, and then I feel awkward about it... But they don't point it out in a mean way or make fun of me it... I'm just easily awkward. Idk if that makes sense😬
this was amazing! i stim almost constantly, didnt realise tho. my sisters are both stimmers as well. id have never been aware of this if it wasnt for you.thanks so much for explaining this so well. its way more than i thought before this podcast...
Thanks for sharing Orion! 🫶🏻 I'm 33 and have struggled with skin picking since I was very little. There used to be a birthmark on my shoulder. I think I fixated on it as a stress stim to help me cope in the big loud public school I went to. Anyway, that birthmark was gone by... Age 10 probably? IDK. I'm learning to listen to my body more and integrating stim tools that are healthier than me subconsciously attacking my body ha 🙃 It's challenging. It's wild to have a nervous system that is hyper sensitive to some types of touch and then seeks out other types of touch. 🤷🏼♀️ 🤪
I removed a birth mark as well. A nurse told me don't do that again as it can turn cancerous. Thus far mine hasn't but I guess that it is a possibility.
Side quest question: where did you get that shirt? Because I love it, and it's a requirement in my life😌😂
I'm a late diagnosis person at 33. I've got no idea what my stims even are. And then if someone tells me what they may be I say but everyone does it
I polish crystals and rocks so i don't hurt myself snapping or moving my fingers.
Any dry skin is doomed. And absolutely hair playing and pulling
Watching this with a rubberband from the packaging fot my new phone charger around my thumb and I'm flicking it with my finger.
Thankyou Orion, another great video podcast ❤XXX 😊
Talking about what happened to you is less hurtful than what is the matter with you.
What is the matter with you ? Hurtful
What happened to you? Less hurtful.
Thank you for listening.
My nephew liked spinning in his chair. But sometimes he would overdo it and throw up.
My fingers are a mess, as my scalp, and my bobos…my favorite fidget toy is my lighter 😅other wise i dont fidget alot.
My teen was really bad about biting their nails. I got them gel nails done for the prom. They stopped biting their nails. Not a cheap cure but they do enjoy getting their nails done.
I also tried this when I was a teen and didn’t know why I did it - it’s not usually a good long term solution because it’s not a “bad habit to break” we need to stim and it weakens the natural nails so even if it stops them for a bit to give them a break which can be good when it gets to a painful point, it’ll most likely be a stim that comes back as again its not a habit like it might be for others so more stressful times may lead to their nails (even gel) being picked or bitten off again 🥲
I've gotten manicure fake nails a few times before too. Worth it. (A few times a few repeat visits.)
Helps me (when I stop the fake nails) stop biting my nails and picking the extra skin around my fingernails.
(After possibly agast looks, maybe positivity or staff timidness, I felt it was sacralige to ask them to cut them short. [Like netballer's nail-guidelines perhaps] I was a typist - admin, data entry and stuff.
After a few visits I bit the bullet and would cut and file them right down on my own time.))
Nowadays I'd want someone with me to point out things / stick up for me when I'm too shy or afraid of retribution.
Like to the beautician when I'm (obviously to me) in pain or trying to point out that they're grinding too much of my nails off.
Hi! Autistic here with a fear of the salons and a need for things to be done the way I like. If we literally don't speak the same language as the nail technician. This is another step beyond neurodivergent and neurotypical brains- one I feel in a service industry is quite rude actually and one reason I have had to come up with an alternative.
I like most are gonna bite and stim away unless there is subterfuge. 😏
So first LEARN nail hygiene
and tools-
learn your products,
learn your go to store
( I've been a beauty store at the corner girl to a Sally's at the strip mall girl wherever works, but don't count on CVS, Walgreens or pharmacys you need supplies, internet as always is there for you, but know what you are ordering from where. )
It is true that doing your nails can cause damage to them which is why if they want their nails done its now DIY. And trust me once you get into it . . . You GET IN TO IT. There are many avenues and directions this can go all depends on their personality. Regardless most importantly
Learn to cycle between fake nails and your own nails, learn to remove the fake nails yourself without damaging your own nails and learning about nourishment products that keep your nails strong in between wear as well as tops coats that offer the same but with shiny or matte resistance. My favorite brand at the moment (especially works well for EDSers as our nails tend to not hold nail polish due to our collegen fallacy also leading to nails breakage) is Seche I recommend there top and base coat 2 pack as a great place to start.
My next recommendation is nails have come a long way since My mother used to take me to the salon when I was a teen, I'm 39 now. Right now the most gentle and accessible option is actually teen friendly. You can get full affordable >poly-gel nail sets< At many of the places already listed above however in this case the internet maybe you best bet for varity.
Very recently using a set bought off amazon I taught a 13yr old how to do her nails. I did the first, aided with the second and I could hardly believe she had a full set of 10 the next day. I was so impressed that she survived Busch Gardens and Water County only losing 3. First set of nails ever- thats pretty good, when we got back she was tired of the color and well they had to be pink for the barbie movie... She did it.
I have the fancy electric filer which she could come to me for quick cleanups, tough bits and final touch ups. But I got her a set of files thought her how to use and clean them (all things that can be learned via you tube) and she was of faster than I could say here is you new kit 😂❤
Give them the tools- save them money for the rest of their lives.
🙃😉Also in college it was a really good side hussle for me, lol.
Worked to help me with the skin picking that Orion does. The problem with that one is once th3 skin is rough it's hard to not do
@@IndiaBarkleythis, basically. As long as you can think “oh this urge to bite my nails means I should stim”, and have some other way to stim, you can be fine, but just suppressing it full on leaves that emotional distress to build up with no release. Enforced suppression of our autistic needs is called masking, it’s forcing an external behavior without ever addressing the internal need that produced it (this is what behavior therapy does, and it is known to cause cptsd and massive identity/self image issues)
You made me laugh so much in this one, thanks I really needed it. Also great info on stimming 😊
I love the colours of your sound board/ mixing thingy. Very cool.
My bad/ unhelpful stims are what I call grooming to disfigurement. Something for a cleaning purpose or to make me more attractive to others.
Bullcrap you get told like "no one likes people who don't take care of their looks". It's like popping pimples as a teen. Except instead of pimples its maybe massaging or dry rubbing/ dry exfoliating my face or shaving - but then it turns into I want to get rid of little skin bubbles of stuff on my face. When I feel like I can't stop, its frustrating and unsettling.
Nice and good stimming is clicking pens, cooking meals from scratch, exploring ideas with pen or pencil on paper, playing with a basketball in my hands, folding my arms against my chest, and nowadays maybe gently rubbing the tops of my hands.
I wish my wife was understanding as yours.
😊😊😊
Orion you are the bomb, in the way we need, have to stim to keep from losing control. To denie stiiming we might as well say don't breathe. I stim because I need it to avoid from...... Hmmmm I just going to say it, cutting or from digging my head. Stim toys are great but they are not the only ways we or I stim. To denie kids that are autistic in a school setting to stop stiiming is bloody wrong. Schools need to get their heads out of their butts so to speak and provide a way for the autistic kid to stim. They need it plain and simple.
Orion - They was very educational for me as an advocate and supporter of my wife, who was recently diagnosed with autism later in her life. While this information is giving me a better understanding of why she does what she does and when, I'd also like to know, though, for example, how does your wife react, support and advocate for you when you display any of your stimming behaviors, ranging from slight to more potentially self-harming. and in private vs. social environments? Thank you.
I have to say that my verbal tics are completely new. Sudden onset. Palalalia. New. Not normal for me.
I fear brain damage from multiple head injuries and the insane amount of fluid built up all around my skull.
Stimming convo good though.
Self care can be stimming/ self regulation in past.
In clean environments. Using manicure/ nail care sets at home. That stuff.
Helpful, self care, helps health outcomes.
There is nothing wrong with talking about what is happening to you.
Hand rubbering .
Nail biting .
Pulling hair .
Rocking for comfort .
In connection to Stimming habits.
Jamming to favorite songs.
Calming inhale and exhale.
Was reminded how I would only watch the sound of music or merry Poppins for the first 5 years of my life 😂 and when I tried to watch the fox and the hound Disney movie (remember it like it was yesterday) it was too scary and had to be taken back to the video store (unlike the nazis trying to chase them in the sound of music😳😅)
Sounds familiar!
I used to pick at my fingers/nails to the point that they would bleed. I've also been made fun of and singled out by teachers etc for doing it for as long as I can remember. I just thought I would never stop doing it. After being married for a few years and being told how gross it is by my now ex husband I just stopped doing it. I can't even remember when and why I stopped doing it, but I can see now that I was stimming.
I don't think I stim or have had stimmed at all. Got all the other wonderful idiosyncrasies.😂
Only 10mins in and already laughing out loud and couldn’t agree more about the sexy stim toys 😒😆 I’m sorry but nothing is as satisfying (or as sensory triggering for Dayne 😬) as biting the skin on my fingers and nails 😂 silicon bead necklace biting replacement? nowhere even close 😣😅
Do you also notice your sensory sensitivity gets hectically worse when stressed/overwhelmed? I get crazy irritated from my clothing that was fine before and I also notice it with normal sound and vibrations becoming unbearable 😬
Completely relate to that.
Orion: grow up!
Me: NO hehehehehehehe
I have a request pretty please. I’m thinking this would be used a lot and hoping you think it’s a good idea. So I am unable to speak about any feelings, trauma or lots of other things. (I go mute) Would you be able to make us a video which would simply explain to our friends and family that are uneducated on autism when you simply “don’t look like you have it” Im thinking a few of the traits and our thought process etc to explain to the older generation that don’t understand nor believe us. Video title “a video for friends and family on explaining autism” for example. I hope you get my point 😂. I’m working my way through all of your videos and am finding them hugely relatable and easy to watch so thank you very much! ❤
UM IS NO ONE NOTICE THE UPDATE ON THE LIKES??? THERE’S NOTHING THERE
Don't forget that even neurotypicals sometimes click on their pen some of these people may get fidget toys I think it's also unfair to take fidget toys of them as well as long as they're using it in the proper way stupid kids from across classrooms that's not acceptable
I feel like a loser. Like a human scientific subject to study, observe, and research. That's _all_ we autistics are, aren't we? We're JUST autistics. And it gets worse. I was once taken to my boss's office--with her and her chef colleague--for touching my coworkers too much (CASUALLY on arms or shoulders). I was always very outgoing and tactile at work. The chef told me that we need the workers to be comfortable in a good work environment. That I shouldn't talk about anything other than work and school or tell my stories, because they may be inappropriate or upsetting (can't remember her exact words) to others. Now yeah, I pretty much didn't have a filter, but I don't think I said anything horrible. I only meant to have fun with my crew. I really didn't get specific information from the chef about subjects and references. She liked that I was outgoing, but she made it sound risky and in need of limits. And again, that I shouldn't touch anyone without consent. I own my mistakes, and I wouldn't have made them if anyone showed signs of discomfort. Plus, commenters won't ease up on the shaming. It's all "She was right" and "you sound like a creep" and "You shouldn't be touching your coworkers." I can't redeem myself, I can't be a good person, I can't be anything more than a guy on the spectrum.
We're inferior human beings, aren't we? My sister's boyfriend was right.