I actually stopped seeing someone because I felt too strongly for him. I could not deal with the feeling of being extremely attracted to him. He was doing the pull back thing. I recognized it, stopped it quickly. It was so freeing to release a really attractive man who plays games. I got my confidence and power back. I exercised self control. It is so powerful.
Yes im In a situation like that right now , but if he’s a high value man I feel that we must put in the work and yes playing the game of I don’t care , works great .
I just did the same and you are right, it felt so good to be the one who held the power this time.around. I was able to detach easily and am so happy I did because just a couple of weeks later a good one showed up on my doorstep and if I would have still been with the one I just got rid of, I would have never met him.
1. Be unattached of the outcome of the relationship/date. Release outcome dependence by being present and curious without pushing anything: this liberates him from being responsible for your happiness and makes him feel safe and attached. 2. Inspire him to take action by a cycle of positive invitations using feeling statements followed by space and trust in him to step up to do what makes you happy. 3. Honor his "heroes journey". Cheer him on and show acknowledgment, respect, admiration and deep curiosity for what he is doing in his life/career/passions. 4. Be his emotional sanctuary: an outlet for his feelings where he can be vulnerable and put down his walls. Do this by being vulnerable yourself, by asking questions and through physical touch. 5. Ask better and deeper questions that challenge his worldview, evoke stories and make him connect with his passions at a deep level. To avoid: pretzeling, manipulating by leaning back and withholding attention or affection, using seduction, keeping things surface level.
@@Jhdjdld Sorry to be Blunt. But you don't seem to have Anything!! 5 years!! Still don't feel Special and Adored?? Sorry. It's never going to happen... With him. Move on.
@@ivanrodriguez268 ah but if you use the technique he'll be thinking about you!!! Even though he's with the new one...so there's the proof of this theory you've become unforgettable!
I don't want to have to play games, I'm too old for that. I just want to be my authentic self, if he needs someone to play hard to get games, he's not for me.
I am a 33 year old woman living alone (lost both parents through the years i was their caretaker for many years, have, one sibling who lives in another country) so i live on my own now during this pandemic and it has made me realize so many things about myself and about self-reliance that i feel like i am on a hero's journey myself. And i wish i had a man who admires, sees, respects and acknowledges my journey as much as i do his.
I watched this video a year ago. I finally attracted my first high value man. I was myself and not nervous. I was surprised at the end of the date he was looking forward to a second date. He also sent me the first text after the date. He said he like my positive energy. I told life is to short for negativity and I know I am in charge of my own happiness
Thank you for supporting more women who believe in their womanhood and love. There are so many broken cynical cold women out there who have no idea how to love anymore and they are angry and judging others that are in relationships. We need to revert their pain by educating them, they can always find love no matter their age.
Sorry. That doesn't work. You can't be "yourself" you can't call him every time you want to hear his voice. You can't always be available. You can't. Because you will Bore him. Men like a Challenge.
I just set a guy free because he wouldn't move any further than just texting me and asking me to come over in the evenings ...Yet all the while claiming he was "addicted to me"...In six weeks, we only went out for our initial meet and greet. I followed all advice you guys offered and quite frankly, naturally follow techniques as I always have. Finally grew weary of his texting approach and finally asked him to join me for a walk on the beach to the which, he never responded. Then he texted me the following week as if I had never broached the subject. After careful thought, I answered back with a message removing myself from his equation and wished him all the success in his search by stating that I felt we were seeking different outcomes between us as I am seeking more than just a texting buddy or hookup. Right or wrong, I needed this to move away from such a status. I also let him know I liked him but would not be reduced to this level of relationship.
Hi Mat! This lesson was excellent. While giving the man space and asking him questions about his work his life and what he aspires to do in his life, he feels relaxed and wants to talk about it all. Asking deeper questions. Let him get excited. He will open up and think that this woman really is interested in my life and you should be.
I love this. We should use these tips for everyone in our life. Be authentic and actually, genuinely be interested in being supportive and curious about the other person- both their space and letting go of expectations of outcomes of other people.
He is really attentive to me.This something he never been before. I respect what his dreams are. He is a musician and that part of him really excites me. I like to go to his gigs but I don't invade this part of his life. I will support him in everything he does. I bought a keyboard just recently. He was so excited about this, I told him that I want to make music with him. This made his eyes tear up and I recieved the most passionate kiss I have ever been given by him. He is on cloud nine knowing that I want make music with him. Things shifted into a more positive connection to him. He can't wait to get started, I can't either.
Yes! One of the first points was the best: let him know that YOU'RE the type of woman that HE is worthy of being in a relationship with. Great tips, Mat. Thank you!
It takes a high quality woman -- confident, intelligent, empathetic, commonsensical, caring -- to follow your excellent tips.(Actually, it's not easy to be a man.) THANKS!
I guess I’ll do better next time. I finally met a guy I liked a lot but never really been thought how a healthy relationship works. But I did everything right except the comfort part. But it’s nice to know that I’ve healed and grown enough to attract high value men. Growing and developing. Great video!
I been in love with this loving man since I was 16 years old and I'm 40 now he is 41and I'm so ready to Merry him he asked me 5 months ago he is my best friend and always been but at times I had let fear get the best of me and I learning how to let all that go with faith Amen💖 Amen🥰 ❤️ Loving my journey with the both of us thanks Mat🙏🌟
I always look forward to listening to your videos because you speak so passionately with SO MUCH VALUE in each videos! I can see you writing an amazing book just on this ONE video 🙌🏼 By the way, do you do any live group events for women? I’d buy your book and or attend your live event! Anyone else agree with me? ❤️
Thank you SO MUCH for your kind words my dear!! Im am committed to STARTING LIVE EVENTS in 2020 (AND write my first book), so I will absolutely keep you posted on the schedule
my boyfriend is in Hawaii hopefully coming home this week or next week . I'm so very proud of him for helping to protect our country . and I let him know how much I appreciate what he's done and doing this man is much younger than I am . I appreciate him so much !
I have watched many relationship advise videos on TH-cam, but yours is just perfect! Mainly because of your voice 👌 it's soo soothing and wanted us to keep on hearing it🤗 the way u present with your expressions and body language, it is more realistic and lively! 👏 No dramas no fake creativity.. 👍 good job!
It's great to see that your channel is all about honesty instead of the manipulative tactics I see people use on a daoly basis. Thanks for keeping it real!!!
WOW, just WOW - you give amazing information - loving and learning through your videos. I cannot believe it took me this long to find you. Thank you for all that you are and all that you give !
As Coco Chanel said "To be irreplaceable, one must always be different". I'm inter changing irreplaceable with your word "unforgettable". As a woman, I've obviously had many women friends and have seen how they behave or respond to men. Most of the time, their efforts have fallen flat. Therefore, I've usually taken the opposite approach with men in my life and its usually worked. Women somewhere along the way started chasing men. And when the men run - they chase more which is ridiculous and never works long term. You discuss making invitations... I think there is a line that most women have a hard time staying away from, which is being invitational and vulnerable without being aggressive or chasing. It's a very tough balance to navigate. We should never give more than we are receiving. If you give and it is not reciprocated, BACK OFF! Don't do what the majority of women will do which is to push harder. What Mat is saying here makes sense for a man who is ready for a mature, adult relationship; but not all men are ready. You'll know which type he is by doing what Mat suggests because if he doesn't match your interest or ask YOU anything about YOU...then you'll know. *Just thought I'd take your thought process a bit farther.. I'm thinking, however, that you agree!
@@eunicegantt3069 yes Eunice.... I was lucky enough to pay attention while observing some of my girlfriends chase men in vain when I was younger. I actually had one guy admit to me later that he was actually afraid of one of my friends back then - 😳 haha! I know she wasn't dangerous but he was still freaking out and any attraction he might of had for her in the beginning was completely obliterated by her starting to chase him. Lessons learned!
@@npkrn6764 Absolutely, it pushes men away, learned the hard way, however, I used to do most of these things in a relationship and found the man saying I knew him better than anyone but the truth is I didn't know how I got to him. But I always want to know the person but sometimes that can be too much for a man to handle if he's not used to it or doesn't expect it from you.
Right, if he's not ready it won't work. That's the sad truth. Not asking questions about me is a theme i have seen in EU men. I naturally do a lot of this stuff, but I'm older, and they are too. Some really dig in to their habits, lifestyle, and comfortable with their ability to pull any women they want, which is addictive and hard to give up, I exchange for the hard work of accepting someone warts and all, and committing indefinitely. They are usually WAAAAY far from that thought process. This is still GREAT advice ...thanks Matt!
Mat, I love your advice and insights. Thank you for sharing! I believe the best thing is to be yourself, be authentic, be curious and be present in the moment.
The man I am interested in has been hurt very badly in his past relationships. We have a deep connection but I know he is scared to commit in fear of getting hurt again. I am not pressuring him but I also want to be there for him to let him know that I would not hurt him. He is such a caring man and really deserves a woman to treat him with respect and love. Thank you so much for sharing this video. It is extremely helpful 💚
Wow, Mat, thank you- you’re a beautiful soul 😍 thank you for this amazing information! Connection is what I’m searching for and this is a treasure trove of information to help get me there. I’m so grateful!
Thank you so much Mat for helping us women! There are only but a few great men out there and it’s tough to find the good one. Your teachings and tips are so great, I appreciate it very much. Keep going!!! 😘
I have watched so many videos, some are great but this is the best. You give so much value along with passion in your videos, but lawd knows it is so much a woman have to know and do to attract, seduce, allure and keep a man interested, this is a full time job, lol. but I'm learning a lot and hope it pays off in the end. A new sub.
Wholly crap...#4 is bang on. I just thought back to the best parts of my previous serious relationships. The things I liked most about that particular man. The best part of how he made me feel. What he brought to the table that ignited me. Took all those things....and shit you not they are all part of a guy that I'm currently dating. I found this new guy, when I finally truely loved myself, and just lived my best life. Owned all my good and my bad, and realized I deserved better. I compared myself to who I was yesterday and strived for incremental improvement within my self. Set goals that included my happiness only....and this new guy came out of nowhere and compliments me in a way a best friend would! I never thought that a man I was romantically involved with could be my best friend....until now. Talk about mind blown. 🤯 Thank you Mat for this video.
I love this video. I also love that I feel like I do this all more intentionally now because of you. I feel like it was always in my nature to do these things but after working with you I feel more confident in showing up that way. I have noticed that I have had really lovely connections and responses from men because of this.. ..on both ends it has been very authentic. Thanks Mat :)
AMAZING Lisette thank you so so much for your share... it's been SO BEAUTIFUL to watch your journey and expansion!! grateful to have connected with you : )
Matt, thank you so much for your welcome insights when it comes to high value men I have a couple of high value men friends and your insights will help me to communicate much better with them. You are my relationship expert.
Hi, Mat! I watched your recent Monday’s with Mat on FB. BTW Congrats for accomplishing 3 years 🎉🎉🎉!! I’m learning so much about me & men from your videos. I would love to see your very 1st video on Monday’s with Mat. Can you share that link here on TH-cam? Happy New Year 2020 to you & yours!🎇🎇🎇
BOOM thanks my dear! HA you wanna see the orig mondays with Mat?! here ya go :) facebook.com/IamMatShaffer/videos/vb.5218651/10108826987353433/?type=2&video_source=user_video_tab
Mat Shaffer Thank You So much for sharing, Mat! 💥Wow!💥 Your first vid touched my heart so much. Why? A dear friend of mine is going through the self-loathing & blaming himself. I’m not a psychologist or psychiatrist, but I can tell he’s hurting inside. I feel helpless, but he knows I’m here for him & his daughter. Mat, I feel So proud of you! 🤩You’ve come a long way. You are changing many lives around the 🌎 including mine. I wish you continued success. Cheers!🍾🥂 I’m So grateful I found your channel in 2019. 🙏 😄 This is Jocelyn from sunny California☀️🌴🌈 Take care, Mat! ❤️
I think this applies to gay men too. I tend to be like this and I'm not lying when I say that I have been proposed to several times by high quality men. I didnt understand why and now I do. I'm just genuinely curious and I admire the passion a lot of men have towards their jobs and hobbies. I also don't have an expectation about them at all and I always help them feel safe to communicate their emotions with me. Their secrets are safe with me. ;) So this is very true. I don't know how this guy figured it out but it's ON POINT.
Taking from KN's comment (below) on paying close attention to the man's response to what you put out there, as it shows his readiness and maturity ... it would be greatly appreciated, and make a guy more memorable, if HE also asked the deeper questions and showed real curiosity. That seldom happens, even with so-called high value men. By my experience they seem to wait for us to do a dance for them, see if we're worthy ... at which point I may decide they are great on paper, but probably boring in the long run!
Thank you for the incredible video! Just what I needed!! When you say to use invitation and space to empower him what ways could you use this as a tool to bring him closer to you?
fantastic so glad you liked it! Im gonna do a whole video outlining more ways to implement the cycle - where do YOU think it would apply in your relationship??
→ Join my FREE live coaching love + relationship course starting 2/17/25! masteryofconnection.com/
I actually stopped seeing someone because I felt too strongly for him. I could not deal with the feeling of being extremely attracted to him. He was doing the pull back thing. I recognized it, stopped it quickly. It was so freeing to release a really attractive man who plays games. I got my confidence and power back. I exercised self control. It is so powerful.
🤛
Yes im
In a situation like that right now , but if he’s a high value man I feel that we must put in the work and yes playing the game of I don’t care , works great .
I just did the same and you are right, it felt so good to be the one who held the power this time.around. I was able to detach easily and am so happy I did because just a couple of weeks later a good one showed up on my doorstep and if I would have still been with the one I just got rid of, I would have never met him.
Going through this now, so I also have to pull back while I can
I went to something similar .. I call his shyt off.. I’m too old to play games🤷♀️
1. Be unattached of the outcome of the relationship/date. Release outcome dependence by being present and curious without pushing anything: this liberates him from being responsible for your happiness and makes him feel safe and attached.
2. Inspire him to take action by a cycle of positive invitations using feeling statements followed by space and trust in him to step up to do what makes you happy.
3. Honor his "heroes journey". Cheer him on and show acknowledgment, respect, admiration and deep curiosity for what he is doing in his life/career/passions.
4. Be his emotional sanctuary: an outlet for his feelings where he can be vulnerable and put down his walls. Do this by being vulnerable yourself, by asking questions and through physical touch.
5. Ask better and deeper questions that challenge his worldview, evoke stories and make him connect with his passions at a deep level.
To avoid: pretzeling, manipulating by leaning back and withholding attention or affection, using seduction, keeping things surface level.
YES beautifully laid out! :)
@@Jhdjdld You can't - this is not the right man for you : ( sorry someone needs to say it! Good luck
Thanks,!, ✌🏻🙏🏻
your so smart and you make it seem so simple. i wish i found you a long time ago!
@@Jhdjdld Sorry to be Blunt. But you don't seem to have Anything!! 5 years!! Still don't feel Special and Adored?? Sorry. It's never going to happen... With him. Move on.
Th best relationship is be u
Never pretend
Accept each other th way u r
N it will b cool
N put God first
Absolutely. 🙌❤️
Dissappear sometimes. How's he going to miss you if you Never go away! 😘
That is very true 👍
I disagree with this, if you disappear, another one will come in. Trust me, other girls are waiting in line.
@@ivanrodriguez268 ah but if you use the technique he'll be thinking about you!!! Even though he's with the new one...so there's the proof of this theory you've become unforgettable!
@@ivanrodriguez268 if he moves too quickly with another woman, he was never interested in you.
I don't want to have to play games, I'm too old for that. I just want to be my authentic self, if he needs someone to play hard to get games, he's not for me.
I am a 33 year old woman living alone (lost both parents through the years i was their caretaker for many years, have, one sibling who lives in another country) so i live on my own now during this pandemic and it has made me realize so many things about myself and about self-reliance that i feel like i am on a hero's journey myself. And i wish i had a man who admires, sees, respects and acknowledges my journey as much as i do his.
You're a brave soul...I hope that God brings you the perfect man as a gift for what you've done for your parents.
bless you
You want a man who admires, sees, respects you? - Are you a VIRGIN?
I watched this video a year ago. I finally attracted my first high value man. I was myself and not nervous. I was surprised at the end of the date he was looking forward to a second date. He also sent me the first text after the date. He said he like my positive energy. I told life is to short for negativity and I know I am in charge of my own happiness
Yay! You deserve a great guy😊
Just enjoy each and every interaction with people whenever possible.
EXACTLY
I know what's up.... I agree much..
thNk you.. 👍🏿
exactly what I'm trying to do... I mean planning to do🤔🤐🤐
thanks... got to go!!!
Agreed 100%. Exactly... correct! Enjoy each other everytime. Bless everyone who are here - 🌷
Thank you for supporting more women who believe in their womanhood and love. There are so many broken cynical cold women out there who have no idea how to love anymore and they are angry and judging others that are in relationships. We need to revert their pain by educating them, they can always find love no matter their age.
Many Thanks!
I’d say just be yourself don’t lie or try to be somebody that your really not. Have fun🙂
YES all that is so important!!
Sorry. That doesn't work. You can't be "yourself" you can't call him every time you want to hear his voice. You can't always be available. You can't. Because you will Bore him. Men like a Challenge.
@Abundance Locally lmfao
I don't want a man who has a lot of women who wants him. Maybe I should get a fat bald one. 😂
What if he's the emotionally unavailable type who's inconsistant with his attention on you.
Women go on a Heroine’s Journey too!!!!🎯🦸🏻♀️💫😃🌟
This is one of the best relationship advice for women videos I have seen on TH-cam. It’s strong and built on solid principles that do work 😁
amazing really appreciate this feedback!!
Mr Mat I Love your advice it is helping me each day I have watched you on TH-cam and I enjoy it Thanks woman it helps 🙏🥰🙏🙏🙏
I just set a guy free because he wouldn't move any further than just texting me and asking me to come over in the evenings ...Yet all the while claiming he was "addicted to me"...In six weeks, we only went out for our initial meet and greet. I followed all advice you guys offered and quite frankly, naturally follow techniques as I always have. Finally grew weary of his texting approach and finally asked him to join me for a walk on the beach to the which, he never responded. Then he texted me the following week as if I had never broached the subject. After careful thought, I answered back with a message removing myself from his equation and wished him all the success in his search by stating that I felt we were seeking different outcomes between us as I am seeking more than just a texting buddy or hookup. Right or wrong, I needed this to move away from such a status. I also let him know I liked him but would not be reduced to this level of relationship.
wonderful share thank you! :)
Good grief. I am shocked
You waited that long. The red flag was there from the get go..u refused to see it. You need to work on your own self respect.
I think she did good! Maybe she's not used to users like him.
@@annalore5513 and you're so perfect? She did good!
@@annalore5513 do not say that, she did great. does not have to be with self respect. She gave him the benefit of the doubt. Be nice
I feel like I just learned how to beat the game. This is NEXT LEVEL info.
Thanks so much for your feedback!
Hi Mat! This lesson was excellent. While giving the man space and asking him questions about his work his life and what he aspires to do in his life, he feels relaxed and wants to talk about it all. Asking deeper questions. Let him get excited. He will open up and think that this woman really is interested in my life and you should be.
YES you totally get it!! thank you for sharing!!
I love this. We should use these tips for everyone in our life. Be authentic and actually, genuinely be interested in being supportive and curious about the other person- both their space and letting go of expectations of outcomes of other people.
Thanks so much for your feedback!
@@Mat_Shaffer thank you, Mat! This video was so great!
I absolutely LOVE how you explain things, Mat!! You rock!
Glad you like them!
Those ones who put dislikes i think they nolonger have love coz your words are so real,touching,and helpful☺
Thanks so much Ritah Nakiswa! 🙏❤️
@@Mat_Shaffer your welcome and thank reading our comments
He is really attentive to me.This something he never been before. I respect what his dreams are. He is a musician and that part of him really excites me. I like to go to his gigs but I don't invade this part of his life. I will support him in everything he does. I bought a keyboard just recently. He was so excited about this, I told him that I want to make music with him. This made his eyes tear up and I recieved the most passionate kiss I have ever been given by him. He is on cloud nine knowing that I want make music with him. Things shifted into a more positive connection to him. He can't wait to get started, I can't either.
Thanks for dropping by and sharing your thoughts! So happy this hit the spot for you. 😉
Yes! One of the first points was the best: let him know that YOU'RE the type of woman that HE is worthy of being in a relationship with.
Great tips, Mat. Thank you!
Happy to help, Briana 🙌❤️
It takes a high quality woman -- confident, intelligent, empathetic, commonsensical, caring -- to follow your excellent tips.(Actually, it's not easy to be a man.) THANKS!
Interesting perspective, thanks so much!
@@Mat_Shaffer 🙋👍Thank you.
I guess I’ll do better next time. I finally met a guy I liked a lot but never really been thought how a healthy relationship works. But I did everything right except the comfort part. But it’s nice to know that I’ve healed and grown enough to attract high value men. Growing and developing. Great video!
thank sso much!
Wow, Mat...this is so helpful. None of it sounds stupid or "woo woo," either. It all sounds doable. I'll definitely try it with high-quality guys.
BEAUTIFUL thank you for the feedback appreciate it!! You can totally do this!
I been in love with this loving man since I was 16 years old and I'm 40 now he is 41and I'm so ready to Merry him he asked me 5 months ago he is my best friend and always been but at times I had let fear get the best of me and I learning how to let all that go with faith Amen💖 Amen🥰 ❤️ Loving my journey with the both of us thanks Mat🙏🌟
That is awesome! I’m so happy for you my dear!
I always look forward to listening to your videos because you speak so passionately with SO MUCH VALUE in each videos! I can see you writing an amazing book just on this ONE video 🙌🏼 By the way, do you do any live group events for women? I’d buy your book and or attend your live event! Anyone else agree with me? ❤️
Definitely!
Thank you SO MUCH for your kind words my dear!! Im am committed to STARTING LIVE EVENTS in 2020 (AND write my first book), so I will absolutely keep you posted on the schedule
Mat Shaffer
Hola Mat, what is your advice in dating a much older man?
Thank you sooo much for your insights💕
Just beautiful... no manipulation! Love your videos. 👍🌹
YES you got it!!
This is a truly GREAT video Mat! Please keep up the inspiring, realistic and truthful content you put forth!! Much thanks and gratitude.
amazing so glad you enjoyed it!! appreciate the feedback
@@Mat_Shaffer Looking forward to it!
my boyfriend is in Hawaii hopefully coming home this week or next week . I'm so very proud of him for helping to protect our country . and I let him know how much I appreciate what he's done and doing this man is much younger than I am . I appreciate him so much !
That is awesome! I’m so happy for you my dear!
I have watched many relationship advise videos on TH-cam, but yours is just perfect! Mainly because of your voice 👌 it's soo soothing and wanted us to keep on hearing it🤗 the way u present with your expressions and body language, it is more realistic and lively! 👏 No dramas no fake creativity.. 👍 good job!
DEEPLY appreciate that !! I really work to use my voice and delivery as a way to create safety and connection in my videos :)
OMG a lawyer that knows how to handle personal relationships? That's a totally new breed.
haha why do you think I quit? ;)
As a lawyer too, what we most do is handle personal relationships, honey. Believe me 🤣
@@Mat_Shaffer never "quit." Move on 😁
It's great to see that your channel is all about honesty instead of the manipulative tactics I see people use on a daoly basis. Thanks for keeping it real!!!
I appreciate that! Thanks much🙌❤️❤️
*We loved with a love that was more than love.*
Love this. Actually quite simple. Too many women are to needy and attached to an outcome
Thanks so much for your feedback!
Mat, You are awesome! It’s important to share vulnerability to have a real connection. I love your channel.
Thanks so much Dee Tran! 🙏❤️
Point number 5: Ask better questions. This is definitely worth doing. It shows creativity and intelligence.
YEP you got it!!
Thank you! I find your information very helpful! (66 year old woman 😊)
Also... men aren't the only ones who go on a hero's journey...
Thanks for sharing!!
High-quality, mature, no game-playing approach!! However, I guess the advice is applied to both really mature and evolved men and women too!
You're right!
This is one of the best advise videos I've seen in 6 months of looking often. Packed with good content! Thank you! Amazing work!
Thank you so much Ginger Howard, your beautiful words truly touch my heart! It's my honor and purpose to support you 🙏❤️
WOW, just WOW - you give amazing information - loving and learning through your videos. I cannot believe it took me this long to find you. Thank you for all that you are and all that you give !
Wonderful!
Excellent and more valuable advice than I've received so far, Matt. Thank you from not only my heart but my head. Outstsnding!!
Glad it was helpful!
As Coco Chanel said "To be irreplaceable, one must always be different".
I'm inter changing irreplaceable with your word "unforgettable".
As a woman, I've obviously had many women friends and have seen how they behave or respond to men. Most of the time, their efforts have fallen flat. Therefore, I've usually taken the opposite approach with men in my life and its usually worked.
Women somewhere along the way started chasing men. And when the men run - they chase more which is ridiculous and never works long term.
You discuss making invitations... I think there is a line that most women have a hard time staying away from, which is being invitational and vulnerable without being aggressive or chasing. It's a very tough balance to navigate.
We should never give more than we are receiving. If you give and it is not reciprocated, BACK OFF! Don't do what the majority of women will do which is to push harder.
What Mat is saying here makes sense for a man who is ready for a mature, adult relationship; but not all men are ready. You'll know which type he is by doing what Mat suggests because if he doesn't match your interest or ask YOU anything about YOU...then you'll know.
*Just thought I'd take your thought process a bit farther.. I'm thinking, however, that you agree!
well put thanks for the deep insight!
So True!!
@@eunicegantt3069 yes Eunice.... I was lucky enough to pay attention while observing some of my girlfriends chase men in vain when I was younger. I actually had one guy admit to me later that he was actually afraid of one of my friends back then - 😳 haha! I know she wasn't dangerous but he was still freaking out and any attraction he might of had for her in the beginning was completely obliterated by her starting to chase him. Lessons learned!
@@npkrn6764 Absolutely, it pushes men away, learned the hard way, however, I used to do most of these things in a relationship and found the man saying I knew him better than anyone but the truth is I didn't know how I got to him. But I always want to know the person but sometimes that can be too much for a man to handle if he's not used to it or doesn't expect it from you.
Right, if he's not ready it won't work. That's the sad truth. Not asking questions about me is a theme i have seen in EU men. I naturally do a lot of this stuff, but I'm older, and they are too. Some really dig in to their habits, lifestyle, and comfortable with their ability to pull any women they want, which is addictive and hard to give up, I exchange for the hard work of accepting someone warts and all, and committing indefinitely. They are usually WAAAAY far from that thought process. This is still GREAT advice ...thanks Matt!
You got yourself a new follower .. Not only the interesting content you share but also you are very attractive to look at 🤘🏻
HA I'll take it, thank you! :) welcome to the tribe!
@@Mat_Shaffer No need to thank me , just share you're DNA and I'll be more than happy to take it (lol) can I? My love life is crap
Being his comfort space is important!
yess it SO IS!!
Im on a hero's journey too lol. Would love to find a man who's aiming to better himself and grow. I didnt know they existed lol. This gives me hope.
I hope it helps.
??
Mat, thank you. I'm dating such a man...what you advise is very insightful. You are brilliant! Thank you. ❤
Thanks so much attilia marcon! 🙏❤️
WOW, this video was gold. Really, thank you.
Glad you enjoyed it! 🤗
Mat, I love your advice and insights. Thank you for sharing! I believe the best thing is to be yourself, be authentic, be curious and be present in the moment.
love this feedback my dear!!
The man I am interested in has been hurt very badly in his past relationships. We have a deep connection but I know he is scared to commit in fear of getting hurt again. I am not pressuring him but I also want to be there for him to let him know that I would not hurt him. He is such a caring man and really deserves a woman to treat him with respect and love. Thank you so much for sharing this video. It is extremely helpful 💚
So sweet thanks for sharing! its a great connection :)
Dude, I love your thought process and how efficiently you get your message out. Keep it up
Thanks so much my dear! I’m so glad this helped you!
I love your channel! And I love your eloquence and the energy with which you convey all your advice!! Thank you!
wonderful thank you for that feedback!! 😊❤️
Wow, Mat, thank you- you’re a beautiful soul 😍 thank you for this amazing information! Connection is what I’m searching for and this is a treasure trove of information to help get me there. I’m so grateful!
Wonderful! Happy I could be of help.
Thank you Matt -- because of you, I am now in a more meaningful relationship. You're the best.
Fantastic! Thank for sharing❤️
Thank you so much Mat for helping us women! There are only but a few great men out there and it’s tough to find the good one. Your teachings and tips are so great, I appreciate it very much. Keep going!!! 😘
appreciate that deeply desere! I am so glad my content serves you :)
Excellent Video Mat! 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽💫😃🌟
Hi-quality advise!! I appreciate you very much for bringing this program to us to share!!!
Thanks so much my dear! ❤️
So nice! Just what I m experiencing and experimenting atm. So resonates with your this video. Thank you Mat🥰
so wonderful thank you for sharing !
Thank you ! You explain everything so well. Very enlightening.
Fantastic! Thanks so much! ❤
Love this video, Mat! Wonderful insights and ideas I will authentically use in my life! Thank you again for your great and powerful video’s! ❤️
YES love it!! you are so welcome, delighted to support you :)
This is a beautiful video. Very important, liberating and inspiring.❤
Glad you think so!
You eloquently stated so many great gems. thank you
Glad you enjoyed!
I love you, Mat ❤
I so appreciate you saying that - that was so sweet of you! :)
I have watched so many videos, some are great but this is the best. You give so much value along with passion in your videos, but lawd knows it is so much a woman have to know and do to attract, seduce, allure and keep a man interested, this is a full time job, lol. but I'm learning a lot and hope it pays off in the end. A new sub.
Glad you like them!
Wholly crap...#4 is bang on. I just thought back to the best parts of my previous serious relationships. The things I liked most about that particular man. The best part of how he made me feel. What he brought to the table that ignited me. Took all those things....and shit you not they are all part of a guy that I'm currently dating. I found this new guy, when I finally truely loved myself, and just lived my best life. Owned all my good and my bad, and realized I deserved better. I compared myself to who I was yesterday and strived for incremental improvement within my self. Set goals that included my happiness only....and this new guy came out of nowhere and compliments me in a way a best friend would! I never thought that a man I was romantically involved with could be my best friend....until now. Talk about mind blown. 🤯 Thank you Mat for this video.
amen sister! love it! 🙏
Thank god I found You yes subscribed & hooked! Love it..
@@whatsappme2900 thanks Matt!
Welcome aboard!
So wise and kind. You are a great teacher
Your kind words touch my heart, Corina❤️
Wow, you are so real!!
Thanks for watching I hope it helps
I love your channel you really teaching me a lot thank you so much 😊
You are so welcome! 🤗
U r sooooo good!
Every video is incredible !
Thank you so much 😀
I love this video. I also love that I feel like I do this all more intentionally now because of you. I feel like it was always in my nature to do these things but after working with you I feel more confident in showing up that way. I have noticed that I have had really lovely connections and responses from men because of this.. ..on both ends it has been very authentic. Thanks Mat :)
AMAZING Lisette thank you so so much for your share... it's been SO BEAUTIFUL to watch your journey and expansion!! grateful to have connected with you : )
Soooo good :) 100% on point!
Glad you think so!
Woww,thank you so much for the enlightenment!!blessings
Glad it was helpful!
Matt, thank you so much for your welcome insights when it comes to high value men I have a couple of high value men friends and your insights will help me to communicate much better with them. You are my relationship expert.
Wow! You are so welcome. Thanks for sharing🙌❤️
This is such a unique advice video. And the one I never knew I needed, thank you for this.
@@whatsappme2900 I will, thank you ❤️
Glad it was helpful!
Hi, Mat! I watched your recent Monday’s with Mat on FB. BTW Congrats for accomplishing 3 years 🎉🎉🎉!! I’m learning so much about me & men from your videos. I would love to see your very 1st video on Monday’s with Mat. Can you share that link here on TH-cam?
Happy New Year 2020 to you & yours!🎇🎇🎇
BOOM thanks my dear! HA you wanna see the orig mondays with Mat?! here ya go :) facebook.com/IamMatShaffer/videos/vb.5218651/10108826987353433/?type=2&video_source=user_video_tab
Mat Shaffer Thank You So much for sharing, Mat! 💥Wow!💥 Your first vid touched my heart so much. Why? A dear friend of mine is going through the self-loathing & blaming himself. I’m not a psychologist or psychiatrist, but I can tell he’s hurting inside. I feel helpless, but he knows I’m here for him & his daughter.
Mat, I feel So proud of you! 🤩You’ve come a long way. You are changing many lives around the 🌎 including mine. I wish you continued success. Cheers!🍾🥂 I’m So grateful I found your channel in 2019. 🙏 😄 This is Jocelyn from sunny California☀️🌴🌈 Take care, Mat! ❤️
Mat 🙂 🥰 💐 this is a fantastic topic 😂🤣 🥰 the heading is perfect , this is going to help Plenty of women 🥰
Absolutely!! Love the share
Amazing again! I like how accurate all these tips are, thank you Mat 🙏♥️
wonderful so glad you enjoyed it ! :)
Matt you are a genius....such an awesome video, really enriching and inspiring 💓🙏
Thank you for your kind words, they truly touch my heart! 💓
Hi Matt..
Canadian subscriber here.
Thats deep..Great info.
Happy New Year.🙏
WONDERFUL! Hi Caryl! happy NY to you :)
@@Mat_Shaffer 👍
I like the way you talked.. You explain it very well.. Very relax in ears🤩
Thanks a lot 😊
I think this applies to gay men too. I tend to be like this and I'm not lying when I say that I have been proposed to several times by high quality men. I didnt understand why and now I do. I'm just genuinely curious and I admire the passion a lot of men have towards their jobs and hobbies. I also don't have an expectation about them at all and I always help them feel safe to communicate their emotions with me. Their secrets are safe with me. ;) So this is very true. I don't know how this guy figured it out but it's ON POINT.
Thank you! I really appreciate your opinion on this ❤❤❤
Thankyou mat ❤️😊
You are so welcome!
Powerful video amazing again tips How much I love you guy sharing women live in forever.
Thank you so much!
Im very happy to get you Mat
It's blessing my life a lot ❤️🙏
Aww, you're the sweetest! Many thanks, Danny❤️
Mat, you're so brilliant! Really appreciate this video 🙏🙌🤗
So glad you enjoyed it! :) Many more to come!
I really like the way you explain things in detail and easy to understand!!!
Fantastic! Thanks so much!
you are so clear with your advice! brilliant! thanks so much
You're so welcome!
If I have to think About All of this, I will Just Screw it Up, I rather be MYSELF.
Right 😂
I appreciate your opinion on this!
Thankyou, very insightful.
so welcome!
So inspiring, realistic !!! Thank you 🙏
Thank you so much!
Awesome video thank you!
so welcome
Excellent video!!
I love you May for your videos, it really work
Glad you like them!
I love your videos! Thank you! ❤
So glad you enjoyed it! :) Many more to come! :)
Taking from KN's comment (below) on paying close attention to the man's response to what you put out there, as it shows his readiness and maturity ... it would be greatly appreciated, and make a guy more memorable, if HE also asked the deeper questions and showed real curiosity. That seldom happens, even with so-called high value men. By my experience they seem to wait for us to do a dance for them, see if we're worthy ... at which point I may decide they are great on paper, but probably boring in the long run!
mmhm great points!
@@Mat_Shaffer No offense to the guys, just a note from the girls' side!
Excellent, master class. Thank you so much Mat!
Thanks so much my dear!
Thank you ... great advice .. and opens deeper realisations too .
Thank you for your kind words, Ali❤️
No need to stand out from the crowd if you already stood out in his heart
Precisely❤️🤗
Love your advice 🐰
Thank you! 😊
Thank you for the incredible video! Just what I needed!! When you say to use invitation and space to empower him what ways could you use this as a tool to bring him closer to you?
fantastic so glad you liked it! Im gonna do a whole video outlining more ways to implement the cycle - where do YOU think it would apply in your relationship??
Thank you so much truly video I always look lesterning to your video Man high value.I appreciate you.I am lucky women Happy lovely day
so appreciate that Holli!!