I am in a relationship very far away across the other side in europe problem pandemic 7 hour difference. Please give me simple examples of questions to ask allready in. Four months he said i am perfect asked i travel there thx you have helped a great deal want a permanent relationship long term
I actually stopped seeing someone because I felt too strongly for him. I could not deal with the feeling of being extremely attracted to him. He was doing the pull back thing. I recognized it, stopped it quickly. It was so freeing to release a really attractive man who plays games. I got my confidence and power back. I exercised self control. It is so powerful.
Yes im In a situation like that right now , but if he’s a high value man I feel that we must put in the work and yes playing the game of I don’t care , works great .
I just did the same and you are right, it felt so good to be the one who held the power this time.around. I was able to detach easily and am so happy I did because just a couple of weeks later a good one showed up on my doorstep and if I would have still been with the one I just got rid of, I would have never met him.
1. Be unattached of the outcome of the relationship/date. Release outcome dependence by being present and curious without pushing anything: this liberates him from being responsible for your happiness and makes him feel safe and attached. 2. Inspire him to take action by a cycle of positive invitations using feeling statements followed by space and trust in him to step up to do what makes you happy. 3. Honor his "heroes journey". Cheer him on and show acknowledgment, respect, admiration and deep curiosity for what he is doing in his life/career/passions. 4. Be his emotional sanctuary: an outlet for his feelings where he can be vulnerable and put down his walls. Do this by being vulnerable yourself, by asking questions and through physical touch. 5. Ask better and deeper questions that challenge his worldview, evoke stories and make him connect with his passions at a deep level. To avoid: pretzeling, manipulating by leaning back and withholding attention or affection, using seduction, keeping things surface level.
@@Jhdjdld Sorry to be Blunt. But you don't seem to have Anything!! 5 years!! Still don't feel Special and Adored?? Sorry. It's never going to happen... With him. Move on.
@@ivanrodriguez268 ah but if you use the technique he'll be thinking about you!!! Even though he's with the new one...so there's the proof of this theory you've become unforgettable!
I don't want to have to play games, I'm too old for that. I just want to be my authentic self, if he needs someone to play hard to get games, he's not for me.
I am a 33 year old woman living alone (lost both parents through the years i was their caretaker for many years, have, one sibling who lives in another country) so i live on my own now during this pandemic and it has made me realize so many things about myself and about self-reliance that i feel like i am on a hero's journey myself. And i wish i had a man who admires, sees, respects and acknowledges my journey as much as i do his.
Thank you for supporting more women who believe in their womanhood and love. There are so many broken cynical cold women out there who have no idea how to love anymore and they are angry and judging others that are in relationships. We need to revert their pain by educating them, they can always find love no matter their age.
I watched this video a year ago. I finally attracted my first high value man. I was myself and not nervous. I was surprised at the end of the date he was looking forward to a second date. He also sent me the first text after the date. He said he like my positive energy. I told life is to short for negativity and I know I am in charge of my own happiness
He is really attentive to me.This something he never been before. I respect what his dreams are. He is a musician and that part of him really excites me. I like to go to his gigs but I don't invade this part of his life. I will support him in everything he does. I bought a keyboard just recently. He was so excited about this, I told him that I want to make music with him. This made his eyes tear up and I recieved the most passionate kiss I have ever been given by him. He is on cloud nine knowing that I want make music with him. Things shifted into a more positive connection to him. He can't wait to get started, I can't either.
Sorry. That doesn't work. You can't be "yourself" you can't call him every time you want to hear his voice. You can't always be available. You can't. Because you will Bore him. Men like a Challenge.
I just set a guy free because he wouldn't move any further than just texting me and asking me to come over in the evenings ...Yet all the while claiming he was "addicted to me"...In six weeks, we only went out for our initial meet and greet. I followed all advice you guys offered and quite frankly, naturally follow techniques as I always have. Finally grew weary of his texting approach and finally asked him to join me for a walk on the beach to the which, he never responded. Then he texted me the following week as if I had never broached the subject. After careful thought, I answered back with a message removing myself from his equation and wished him all the success in his search by stating that I felt we were seeking different outcomes between us as I am seeking more than just a texting buddy or hookup. Right or wrong, I needed this to move away from such a status. I also let him know I liked him but would not be reduced to this level of relationship.
I love this. We should use these tips for everyone in our life. Be authentic and actually, genuinely be interested in being supportive and curious about the other person- both their space and letting go of expectations of outcomes of other people.
Hi Mat! This lesson was excellent. While giving the man space and asking him questions about his work his life and what he aspires to do in his life, he feels relaxed and wants to talk about it all. Asking deeper questions. Let him get excited. He will open up and think that this woman really is interested in my life and you should be.
Yes! One of the first points was the best: let him know that YOU'RE the type of woman that HE is worthy of being in a relationship with. Great tips, Mat. Thank you!
my boyfriend is in Hawaii hopefully coming home this week or next week . I'm so very proud of him for helping to protect our country . and I let him know how much I appreciate what he's done and doing this man is much younger than I am . I appreciate him so much !
It's great to see that your channel is all about honesty instead of the manipulative tactics I see people use on a daoly basis. Thanks for keeping it real!!!
As Coco Chanel said "To be irreplaceable, one must always be different". I'm inter changing irreplaceable with your word "unforgettable". As a woman, I've obviously had many women friends and have seen how they behave or respond to men. Most of the time, their efforts have fallen flat. Therefore, I've usually taken the opposite approach with men in my life and its usually worked. Women somewhere along the way started chasing men. And when the men run - they chase more which is ridiculous and never works long term. You discuss making invitations... I think there is a line that most women have a hard time staying away from, which is being invitational and vulnerable without being aggressive or chasing. It's a very tough balance to navigate. We should never give more than we are receiving. If you give and it is not reciprocated, BACK OFF! Don't do what the majority of women will do which is to push harder. What Mat is saying here makes sense for a man who is ready for a mature, adult relationship; but not all men are ready. You'll know which type he is by doing what Mat suggests because if he doesn't match your interest or ask YOU anything about YOU...then you'll know. *Just thought I'd take your thought process a bit farther.. I'm thinking, however, that you agree!
@@eunicegantt3069 yes Eunice.... I was lucky enough to pay attention while observing some of my girlfriends chase men in vain when I was younger. I actually had one guy admit to me later that he was actually afraid of one of my friends back then - 😳 haha! I know she wasn't dangerous but he was still freaking out and any attraction he might of had for her in the beginning was completely obliterated by her starting to chase him. Lessons learned!
@@npkrn6764 Absolutely, it pushes men away, learned the hard way, however, I used to do most of these things in a relationship and found the man saying I knew him better than anyone but the truth is I didn't know how I got to him. But I always want to know the person but sometimes that can be too much for a man to handle if he's not used to it or doesn't expect it from you.
Right, if he's not ready it won't work. That's the sad truth. Not asking questions about me is a theme i have seen in EU men. I naturally do a lot of this stuff, but I'm older, and they are too. Some really dig in to their habits, lifestyle, and comfortable with their ability to pull any women they want, which is addictive and hard to give up, I exchange for the hard work of accepting someone warts and all, and committing indefinitely. They are usually WAAAAY far from that thought process. This is still GREAT advice ...thanks Matt!
It takes a high quality woman -- confident, intelligent, empathetic, commonsensical, caring -- to follow your excellent tips.(Actually, it's not easy to be a man.) THANKS!
I always look forward to listening to your videos because you speak so passionately with SO MUCH VALUE in each videos! I can see you writing an amazing book just on this ONE video 🙌🏼 By the way, do you do any live group events for women? I’d buy your book and or attend your live event! Anyone else agree with me? ❤️
Thank you SO MUCH for your kind words my dear!! Im am committed to STARTING LIVE EVENTS in 2020 (AND write my first book), so I will absolutely keep you posted on the schedule
If I was unforgettable I wouldn't be single 🤔😅 Jokes aside, I'm just working on improving myself, have self-discipline, controlling my emotions, be grounded, have strong morals and values, being energetic fun and exciting. Make the man be the man and me be feminine with my energy. Also make them laugh is key. 🤗
I been in love with this loving man since I was 16 years old and I'm 40 now he is 41and I'm so ready to Merry him he asked me 5 months ago he is my best friend and always been but at times I had let fear get the best of me and I learning how to let all that go with faith Amen💖 Amen🥰 ❤️ Loving my journey with the both of us thanks Mat🙏🌟
I guess I’ll do better next time. I finally met a guy I liked a lot but never really been thought how a healthy relationship works. But I did everything right except the comfort part. But it’s nice to know that I’ve healed and grown enough to attract high value men. Growing and developing. Great video!
I have watched many relationship advise videos on TH-cam, but yours is just perfect! Mainly because of your voice 👌 it's soo soothing and wanted us to keep on hearing it🤗 the way u present with your expressions and body language, it is more realistic and lively! 👏 No dramas no fake creativity.. 👍 good job!
WOW, just WOW - you give amazing information - loving and learning through your videos. I cannot believe it took me this long to find you. Thank you for all that you are and all that you give !
Mat, I love your advice and insights. Thank you for sharing! I believe the best thing is to be yourself, be authentic, be curious and be present in the moment.
I love this video. I also love that I feel like I do this all more intentionally now because of you. I feel like it was always in my nature to do these things but after working with you I feel more confident in showing up that way. I have noticed that I have had really lovely connections and responses from men because of this.. ..on both ends it has been very authentic. Thanks Mat :)
AMAZING Lisette thank you so so much for your share... it's been SO BEAUTIFUL to watch your journey and expansion!! grateful to have connected with you : )
i think people should watch this video keeping in mind that these tips are just different ways for YOU to be able to show YOUR TRUE personality in the best way possible to the high value man, in order for him to do the same. You should be actually trying to look for a real relationship as a high-value woman yourself, with a high-value man. This can be misleading, because you can't just memorize these tips and use them to "score" him if you just see him as someone you can use and manipulate for your benefit. Ideally, this video is for a high-value person who wants to be in a genuine, honest relationship with a high value man they saw, but don't know how to let their true nature present itself well.
Wow, Mat, thank you- you’re a beautiful soul 😍 thank you for this amazing information! Connection is what I’m searching for and this is a treasure trove of information to help get me there. I’m so grateful!
I think this applies to gay men too. I tend to be like this and I'm not lying when I say that I have been proposed to several times by high quality men. I didnt understand why and now I do. I'm just genuinely curious and I admire the passion a lot of men have towards their jobs and hobbies. I also don't have an expectation about them at all and I always help them feel safe to communicate their emotions with me. Their secrets are safe with me. ;) So this is very true. I don't know how this guy figured it out but it's ON POINT.
Hmmm....that Hasn’t been my experience. Many men are surprised and glad when you say hello to them, in the right setting, and with the right approach. There’s always going to be ‘uppity’ ones, but that’s a GOOD thing, because it shows you right away where their head is at.
Wholly crap...#4 is bang on. I just thought back to the best parts of my previous serious relationships. The things I liked most about that particular man. The best part of how he made me feel. What he brought to the table that ignited me. Took all those things....and shit you not they are all part of a guy that I'm currently dating. I found this new guy, when I finally truely loved myself, and just lived my best life. Owned all my good and my bad, and realized I deserved better. I compared myself to who I was yesterday and strived for incremental improvement within my self. Set goals that included my happiness only....and this new guy came out of nowhere and compliments me in a way a best friend would! I never thought that a man I was romantically involved with could be my best friend....until now. Talk about mind blown. 🤯 Thank you Mat for this video.
Thank you so much Mat for helping us women! There are only but a few great men out there and it’s tough to find the good one. Your teachings and tips are so great, I appreciate it very much. Keep going!!! 😘
The man I am interested in has been hurt very badly in his past relationships. We have a deep connection but I know he is scared to commit in fear of getting hurt again. I am not pressuring him but I also want to be there for him to let him know that I would not hurt him. He is such a caring man and really deserves a woman to treat him with respect and love. Thank you so much for sharing this video. It is extremely helpful 💚
Hi, Mat! I watched your recent Monday’s with Mat on FB. BTW Congrats for accomplishing 3 years 🎉🎉🎉!! I’m learning so much about me & men from your videos. I would love to see your very 1st video on Monday’s with Mat. Can you share that link here on TH-cam? Happy New Year 2020 to you & yours!🎇🎇🎇
BOOM thanks my dear! HA you wanna see the orig mondays with Mat?! here ya go :) facebook.com/IamMatShaffer/videos/vb.5218651/10108826987353433/?type=2&video_source=user_video_tab
Mat Shaffer Thank You So much for sharing, Mat! 💥Wow!💥 Your first vid touched my heart so much. Why? A dear friend of mine is going through the self-loathing & blaming himself. I’m not a psychologist or psychiatrist, but I can tell he’s hurting inside. I feel helpless, but he knows I’m here for him & his daughter. Mat, I feel So proud of you! 🤩You’ve come a long way. You are changing many lives around the 🌎 including mine. I wish you continued success. Cheers!🍾🥂 I’m So grateful I found your channel in 2019. 🙏 😄 This is Jocelyn from sunny California☀️🌴🌈 Take care, Mat! ❤️
I have watched so many videos, some are great but this is the best. You give so much value along with passion in your videos, but lawd knows it is so much a woman have to know and do to attract, seduce, allure and keep a man interested, this is a full time job, lol. but I'm learning a lot and hope it pays off in the end. A new sub.
Matt, thank you so much for your welcome insights when it comes to high value men I have a couple of high value men friends and your insights will help me to communicate much better with them. You are my relationship expert.
Taking from KN's comment (below) on paying close attention to the man's response to what you put out there, as it shows his readiness and maturity ... it would be greatly appreciated, and make a guy more memorable, if HE also asked the deeper questions and showed real curiosity. That seldom happens, even with so-called high value men. By my experience they seem to wait for us to do a dance for them, see if we're worthy ... at which point I may decide they are great on paper, but probably boring in the long run!
I honour you really a lot!!! You do such an important job here, amazing!!! Hear all that true facts, helps me a lot to finde my self-confidence back after 14 years in a relationship and feel a bit insecure. Send you lots of love and light!! Greetings from Germany 👌💓🌟🎁😘🙋♀️💓
really good advice. tho i hope not all ladies are going to learn that because then there's perhaps no longer that easy to stand out lol. competition between women for a man's attention is an emotionally cruel thing for a woman's heart to be participating in. especially if the outcome is not sure at all but you're still catching feelings and attraction, and then having this one-by-one time with someone and also someone else getting to do just the same. i haven't even been in a relationship so perhaps i haven't got a clear view on this stuff, but still since i've always been "the third" who's eyeing people i like, i kinda sense how sour all of this feels. i wish there was a way to avoid this polluted cold competition between women around desireable men. i wish relationships worked in a way that everyone who's having mutual emotional ties with The Mister are getting their share. and not that one Mrs snips him away and that's it.
Thank you for the incredible video! Just what I needed!! When you say to use invitation and space to empower him what ways could you use this as a tool to bring him closer to you?
fantastic so glad you liked it! Im gonna do a whole video outlining more ways to implement the cycle - where do YOU think it would apply in your relationship??
Mat, I heard from an other dating coach that asking emotional questions can scare men off, because than we force them to be vulnerable and that could be received as violating their boundaries. How do you think about that? I loved hearing your view about asking deep questions, because I love going in depth haha. But yeah I don't wanna violate men their emotional boundaries..
That’s what I am curious about too. I love it when men are emotionally open because it means they trust me, and I can build a lasting connection only when they let their guard down... was wondering why some hold back... Mat’s insight helps!
JOIN MY FREE LOVE COURSE HERE (we start 8/9/21) - masteryofconnection.com
Come join the party! :)
I am in a relationship very far away across the other side in europe problem pandemic 7 hour difference. Please give me simple examples of questions to ask allready in. Four months he said i am perfect asked i travel there thx you have helped a great deal want a permanent relationship long term
Hi
Mat Shaffer ysystsssyyss ys
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I actually stopped seeing someone because I felt too strongly for him. I could not deal with the feeling of being extremely attracted to him. He was doing the pull back thing. I recognized it, stopped it quickly. It was so freeing to release a really attractive man who plays games. I got my confidence and power back. I exercised self control. It is so powerful.
🤛
Yes im
In a situation like that right now , but if he’s a high value man I feel that we must put in the work and yes playing the game of I don’t care , works great .
I just did the same and you are right, it felt so good to be the one who held the power this time.around. I was able to detach easily and am so happy I did because just a couple of weeks later a good one showed up on my doorstep and if I would have still been with the one I just got rid of, I would have never met him.
Going through this now, so I also have to pull back while I can
I went to something similar .. I call his shyt off.. I’m too old to play games🤷♀️
1. Be unattached of the outcome of the relationship/date. Release outcome dependence by being present and curious without pushing anything: this liberates him from being responsible for your happiness and makes him feel safe and attached.
2. Inspire him to take action by a cycle of positive invitations using feeling statements followed by space and trust in him to step up to do what makes you happy.
3. Honor his "heroes journey". Cheer him on and show acknowledgment, respect, admiration and deep curiosity for what he is doing in his life/career/passions.
4. Be his emotional sanctuary: an outlet for his feelings where he can be vulnerable and put down his walls. Do this by being vulnerable yourself, by asking questions and through physical touch.
5. Ask better and deeper questions that challenge his worldview, evoke stories and make him connect with his passions at a deep level.
To avoid: pretzeling, manipulating by leaning back and withholding attention or affection, using seduction, keeping things surface level.
YES beautifully laid out! :)
@@Jhdjdld You can't - this is not the right man for you : ( sorry someone needs to say it! Good luck
Thanks,!, ✌🏻🙏🏻
your so smart and you make it seem so simple. i wish i found you a long time ago!
@@Jhdjdld Sorry to be Blunt. But you don't seem to have Anything!! 5 years!! Still don't feel Special and Adored?? Sorry. It's never going to happen... With him. Move on.
Th best relationship is be u
Never pretend
Accept each other th way u r
N it will b cool
N put God first
Absolutely. 🙌❤️
Dissappear sometimes. How's he going to miss you if you Never go away! 😘
That is very true 👍
I disagree with this, if you disappear, another one will come in. Trust me, other girls are waiting in line.
@@ivanrodriguez268 ah but if you use the technique he'll be thinking about you!!! Even though he's with the new one...so there's the proof of this theory you've become unforgettable!
@@ivanrodriguez268 if he moves too quickly with another woman, he was never interested in you.
I don't want to have to play games, I'm too old for that. I just want to be my authentic self, if he needs someone to play hard to get games, he's not for me.
I am a 33 year old woman living alone (lost both parents through the years i was their caretaker for many years, have, one sibling who lives in another country) so i live on my own now during this pandemic and it has made me realize so many things about myself and about self-reliance that i feel like i am on a hero's journey myself. And i wish i had a man who admires, sees, respects and acknowledges my journey as much as i do his.
You're a brave soul...I hope that God brings you the perfect man as a gift for what you've done for your parents.
bless you
You want a man who admires, sees, respects you? - Are you a VIRGIN?
Thank you for supporting more women who believe in their womanhood and love. There are so many broken cynical cold women out there who have no idea how to love anymore and they are angry and judging others that are in relationships. We need to revert their pain by educating them, they can always find love no matter their age.
Many Thanks!
I watched this video a year ago. I finally attracted my first high value man. I was myself and not nervous. I was surprised at the end of the date he was looking forward to a second date. He also sent me the first text after the date. He said he like my positive energy. I told life is to short for negativity and I know I am in charge of my own happiness
Yay! You deserve a great guy😊
Just enjoy each and every interaction with people whenever possible.
EXACTLY
I know what's up.... I agree much..
thNk you.. 👍🏿
exactly what I'm trying to do... I mean planning to do🤔🤐🤐
thanks... got to go!!!
Agreed 100%. Exactly... correct! Enjoy each other everytime. Bless everyone who are here - 🌷
He is really attentive to me.This something he never been before. I respect what his dreams are. He is a musician and that part of him really excites me. I like to go to his gigs but I don't invade this part of his life. I will support him in everything he does. I bought a keyboard just recently. He was so excited about this, I told him that I want to make music with him. This made his eyes tear up and I recieved the most passionate kiss I have ever been given by him. He is on cloud nine knowing that I want make music with him. Things shifted into a more positive connection to him. He can't wait to get started, I can't either.
Thanks for dropping by and sharing your thoughts! So happy this hit the spot for you. 😉
I’d say just be yourself don’t lie or try to be somebody that your really not. Have fun🙂
YES all that is so important!!
Sorry. That doesn't work. You can't be "yourself" you can't call him every time you want to hear his voice. You can't always be available. You can't. Because you will Bore him. Men like a Challenge.
@Abundance Locally lmfao
I don't want a man who has a lot of women who wants him. Maybe I should get a fat bald one. 😂
What if he's the emotionally unavailable type who's inconsistant with his attention on you.
Women go on a Heroine’s Journey too!!!!🎯🦸🏻♀️💫😃🌟
This is one of the best relationship advice for women videos I have seen on TH-cam. It’s strong and built on solid principles that do work 😁
amazing really appreciate this feedback!!
Mr Mat I Love your advice it is helping me each day I have watched you on TH-cam and I enjoy it Thanks woman it helps 🙏🥰🙏🙏🙏
I just set a guy free because he wouldn't move any further than just texting me and asking me to come over in the evenings ...Yet all the while claiming he was "addicted to me"...In six weeks, we only went out for our initial meet and greet. I followed all advice you guys offered and quite frankly, naturally follow techniques as I always have. Finally grew weary of his texting approach and finally asked him to join me for a walk on the beach to the which, he never responded. Then he texted me the following week as if I had never broached the subject. After careful thought, I answered back with a message removing myself from his equation and wished him all the success in his search by stating that I felt we were seeking different outcomes between us as I am seeking more than just a texting buddy or hookup. Right or wrong, I needed this to move away from such a status. I also let him know I liked him but would not be reduced to this level of relationship.
wonderful share thank you! :)
Good grief. I am shocked
You waited that long. The red flag was there from the get go..u refused to see it. You need to work on your own self respect.
I think she did good! Maybe she's not used to users like him.
@@annalore5513 and you're so perfect? She did good!
@@annalore5513 do not say that, she did great. does not have to be with self respect. She gave him the benefit of the doubt. Be nice
I love this. We should use these tips for everyone in our life. Be authentic and actually, genuinely be interested in being supportive and curious about the other person- both their space and letting go of expectations of outcomes of other people.
Thanks so much for your feedback!
@@Mat_Shaffer thank you, Mat! This video was so great!
I feel like I just learned how to beat the game. This is NEXT LEVEL info.
Thanks so much for your feedback!
Hi Mat! This lesson was excellent. While giving the man space and asking him questions about his work his life and what he aspires to do in his life, he feels relaxed and wants to talk about it all. Asking deeper questions. Let him get excited. He will open up and think that this woman really is interested in my life and you should be.
YES you totally get it!! thank you for sharing!!
Yes! One of the first points was the best: let him know that YOU'RE the type of woman that HE is worthy of being in a relationship with.
Great tips, Mat. Thank you!
Happy to help, Briana 🙌❤️
I absolutely LOVE how you explain things, Mat!! You rock!
Glad you like them!
my boyfriend is in Hawaii hopefully coming home this week or next week . I'm so very proud of him for helping to protect our country . and I let him know how much I appreciate what he's done and doing this man is much younger than I am . I appreciate him so much !
That is awesome! I’m so happy for you my dear!
It's great to see that your channel is all about honesty instead of the manipulative tactics I see people use on a daoly basis. Thanks for keeping it real!!!
I appreciate that! Thanks much🙌❤️❤️
As Coco Chanel said "To be irreplaceable, one must always be different".
I'm inter changing irreplaceable with your word "unforgettable".
As a woman, I've obviously had many women friends and have seen how they behave or respond to men. Most of the time, their efforts have fallen flat. Therefore, I've usually taken the opposite approach with men in my life and its usually worked.
Women somewhere along the way started chasing men. And when the men run - they chase more which is ridiculous and never works long term.
You discuss making invitations... I think there is a line that most women have a hard time staying away from, which is being invitational and vulnerable without being aggressive or chasing. It's a very tough balance to navigate.
We should never give more than we are receiving. If you give and it is not reciprocated, BACK OFF! Don't do what the majority of women will do which is to push harder.
What Mat is saying here makes sense for a man who is ready for a mature, adult relationship; but not all men are ready. You'll know which type he is by doing what Mat suggests because if he doesn't match your interest or ask YOU anything about YOU...then you'll know.
*Just thought I'd take your thought process a bit farther.. I'm thinking, however, that you agree!
well put thanks for the deep insight!
So True!!
@@eunicegantt3069 yes Eunice.... I was lucky enough to pay attention while observing some of my girlfriends chase men in vain when I was younger. I actually had one guy admit to me later that he was actually afraid of one of my friends back then - 😳 haha! I know she wasn't dangerous but he was still freaking out and any attraction he might of had for her in the beginning was completely obliterated by her starting to chase him. Lessons learned!
@@npkrn6764 Absolutely, it pushes men away, learned the hard way, however, I used to do most of these things in a relationship and found the man saying I knew him better than anyone but the truth is I didn't know how I got to him. But I always want to know the person but sometimes that can be too much for a man to handle if he's not used to it or doesn't expect it from you.
Right, if he's not ready it won't work. That's the sad truth. Not asking questions about me is a theme i have seen in EU men. I naturally do a lot of this stuff, but I'm older, and they are too. Some really dig in to their habits, lifestyle, and comfortable with their ability to pull any women they want, which is addictive and hard to give up, I exchange for the hard work of accepting someone warts and all, and committing indefinitely. They are usually WAAAAY far from that thought process. This is still GREAT advice ...thanks Matt!
It takes a high quality woman -- confident, intelligent, empathetic, commonsensical, caring -- to follow your excellent tips.(Actually, it's not easy to be a man.) THANKS!
Interesting perspective, thanks so much!
@@Mat_Shaffer 🙋👍Thank you.
I always look forward to listening to your videos because you speak so passionately with SO MUCH VALUE in each videos! I can see you writing an amazing book just on this ONE video 🙌🏼 By the way, do you do any live group events for women? I’d buy your book and or attend your live event! Anyone else agree with me? ❤️
Definitely!
Thank you SO MUCH for your kind words my dear!! Im am committed to STARTING LIVE EVENTS in 2020 (AND write my first book), so I will absolutely keep you posted on the schedule
Mat Shaffer
Hola Mat, what is your advice in dating a much older man?
Thank you sooo much for your insights💕
QUESTION OF THE DAY - What have you done in the past to be unforgettable to the man in your life? What did it inspire in him?
look forward to these responses!
Mat Shaffer don’t judge
Be more positive
If I was unforgettable I wouldn't be single 🤔😅
Jokes aside, I'm just working on improving myself, have self-discipline, controlling my emotions, be grounded, have strong morals and values, being energetic fun and exciting. Make the man be the man and me be feminine with my energy. Also make them laugh is key. 🤗
I became reactive due to His closeness w a co-worker. lesson learned over a 3yr exit. Very hard.
Endeavor to listen. Bring out the Best in Your Man & take physical & emotional cues to enhance His bond with You. Be a True Friend 💎
Mat, You are awesome! It’s important to share vulnerability to have a real connection. I love your channel.
Thanks so much Dee Tran! 🙏❤️
OMG a lawyer that knows how to handle personal relationships? That's a totally new breed.
haha why do you think I quit? ;)
As a lawyer too, what we most do is handle personal relationships, honey. Believe me 🤣
@@Mat_Shaffer never "quit." Move on 😁
Wow, Mat...this is so helpful. None of it sounds stupid or "woo woo," either. It all sounds doable. I'll definitely try it with high-quality guys.
BEAUTIFUL thank you for the feedback appreciate it!! You can totally do this!
Just beautiful... no manipulation! Love your videos. 👍🌹
YES you got it!!
I been in love with this loving man since I was 16 years old and I'm 40 now he is 41and I'm so ready to Merry him he asked me 5 months ago he is my best friend and always been but at times I had let fear get the best of me and I learning how to let all that go with faith Amen💖 Amen🥰 ❤️ Loving my journey with the both of us thanks Mat🙏🌟
That is awesome! I’m so happy for you my dear!
*We loved with a love that was more than love.*
Those ones who put dislikes i think they nolonger have love coz your words are so real,touching,and helpful☺
Thanks so much Ritah Nakiswa! 🙏❤️
@@Mat_Shaffer your welcome and thank reading our comments
I guess I’ll do better next time. I finally met a guy I liked a lot but never really been thought how a healthy relationship works. But I did everything right except the comfort part. But it’s nice to know that I’ve healed and grown enough to attract high value men. Growing and developing. Great video!
thank sso much!
I have watched many relationship advise videos on TH-cam, but yours is just perfect! Mainly because of your voice 👌 it's soo soothing and wanted us to keep on hearing it🤗 the way u present with your expressions and body language, it is more realistic and lively! 👏 No dramas no fake creativity.. 👍 good job!
DEEPLY appreciate that !! I really work to use my voice and delivery as a way to create safety and connection in my videos :)
This is a truly GREAT video Mat! Please keep up the inspiring, realistic and truthful content you put forth!! Much thanks and gratitude.
amazing so glad you enjoyed it!! appreciate the feedback
@@Mat_Shaffer Looking forward to it!
Love this. Actually quite simple. Too many women are to needy and attached to an outcome
Thanks so much for your feedback!
Point number 5: Ask better questions. This is definitely worth doing. It shows creativity and intelligence.
YEP you got it!!
Im on a hero's journey too lol. Would love to find a man who's aiming to better himself and grow. I didnt know they existed lol. This gives me hope.
I hope it helps.
??
If I have to think About All of this, I will Just Screw it Up, I rather be MYSELF.
Right 😂
I appreciate your opinion on this!
This is one of the best advise videos I've seen in 6 months of looking often. Packed with good content! Thank you! Amazing work!
Thank you so much Ginger Howard, your beautiful words truly touch my heart! It's my honor and purpose to support you 🙏❤️
WOW, just WOW - you give amazing information - loving and learning through your videos. I cannot believe it took me this long to find you. Thank you for all that you are and all that you give !
Wonderful!
Being his comfort space is important!
yess it SO IS!!
Mat, I love your advice and insights. Thank you for sharing! I believe the best thing is to be yourself, be authentic, be curious and be present in the moment.
love this feedback my dear!!
Excellent and more valuable advice than I've received so far, Matt. Thank you from not only my heart but my head. Outstsnding!!
Glad it was helpful!
High-quality, mature, no game-playing approach!! However, I guess the advice is applied to both really mature and evolved men and women too!
You're right!
I love this video. I also love that I feel like I do this all more intentionally now because of you. I feel like it was always in my nature to do these things but after working with you I feel more confident in showing up that way. I have noticed that I have had really lovely connections and responses from men because of this.. ..on both ends it has been very authentic. Thanks Mat :)
AMAZING Lisette thank you so so much for your share... it's been SO BEAUTIFUL to watch your journey and expansion!! grateful to have connected with you : )
Thank you! I find your information very helpful! (66 year old woman 😊)
Also... men aren't the only ones who go on a hero's journey...
Thanks for sharing!!
You got yourself a new follower .. Not only the interesting content you share but also you are very attractive to look at 🤘🏻
HA I'll take it, thank you! :) welcome to the tribe!
@@Mat_Shaffer No need to thank me , just share you're DNA and I'll be more than happy to take it (lol) can I? My love life is crap
Dude, I love your thought process and how efficiently you get your message out. Keep it up
Thanks so much my dear! I’m so glad this helped you!
i think people should watch this video keeping in mind that these tips are just different ways for YOU to be able to show YOUR TRUE personality in the best way possible to the high value man, in order for him to do the same. You should be actually trying to look for a real relationship as a high-value woman yourself, with a high-value man.
This can be misleading, because you can't just memorize these tips and use them to "score" him if you just see him as someone you can use and manipulate for your benefit.
Ideally, this video is for a high-value person who wants to be in a genuine, honest relationship with a high value man they saw, but don't know how to let their true nature present itself well.
I appreciate your opinion on this, Lekh C.🙌❤️
So nice! Just what I m experiencing and experimenting atm. So resonates with your this video. Thank you Mat🥰
so wonderful thank you for sharing !
Wow, Mat, thank you- you’re a beautiful soul 😍 thank you for this amazing information! Connection is what I’m searching for and this is a treasure trove of information to help get me there. I’m so grateful!
Wonderful! Happy I could be of help.
I love your channel! And I love your eloquence and the energy with which you convey all your advice!! Thank you!
wonderful thank you for that feedback!! 😊❤️
I think this applies to gay men too. I tend to be like this and I'm not lying when I say that I have been proposed to several times by high quality men. I didnt understand why and now I do. I'm just genuinely curious and I admire the passion a lot of men have towards their jobs and hobbies. I also don't have an expectation about them at all and I always help them feel safe to communicate their emotions with me. Their secrets are safe with me. ;) So this is very true. I don't know how this guy figured it out but it's ON POINT.
Thank you! I really appreciate your opinion on this ❤❤❤
Mat, thank you. I'm dating such a man...what you advise is very insightful. You are brilliant! Thank you. ❤
Thanks so much attilia marcon! 🙏❤️
I would love it if a man treated me exactly like this. And if he appreciated my hero’s journey that would be so sexy.
Amazing!
OH PLEASE, Most Men these days, if You ONLY Say "Hi" "Hello" to Him they immediately think that you are "Desperate".
Right..?
Hmmm....that Hasn’t been my experience. Many men are surprised and glad when you say hello to them, in the right setting, and with the right approach. There’s always going to be ‘uppity’ ones, but that’s a GOOD thing, because it shows you right away where their head is at.
I think that's why he started.. HIGH VALUE MEN
Wholly crap...#4 is bang on. I just thought back to the best parts of my previous serious relationships. The things I liked most about that particular man. The best part of how he made me feel. What he brought to the table that ignited me. Took all those things....and shit you not they are all part of a guy that I'm currently dating. I found this new guy, when I finally truely loved myself, and just lived my best life. Owned all my good and my bad, and realized I deserved better. I compared myself to who I was yesterday and strived for incremental improvement within my self. Set goals that included my happiness only....and this new guy came out of nowhere and compliments me in a way a best friend would! I never thought that a man I was romantically involved with could be my best friend....until now. Talk about mind blown. 🤯 Thank you Mat for this video.
amen sister! love it! 🙏
Hi-quality advise!! I appreciate you very much for bringing this program to us to share!!!
Thanks so much my dear! ❤️
Thank you Matt -- because of you, I am now in a more meaningful relationship. You're the best.
Fantastic! Thank for sharing❤️
Thank you so much Mat for helping us women! There are only but a few great men out there and it’s tough to find the good one. Your teachings and tips are so great, I appreciate it very much. Keep going!!! 😘
appreciate that deeply desere! I am so glad my content serves you :)
Great advices! I like this channel more than other channels of this kind. ✨
Thank you so much, I really appreciate hearing that from you.
OMG this is one of the best videos I've ever heard on this topic!!!
Thanks so much Laura Michelle! 🙏❤️
Love this video, Mat! Wonderful insights and ideas I will authentically use in my life! Thank you again for your great and powerful video’s! ❤️
YES love it!! you are so welcome, delighted to support you :)
The man I am interested in has been hurt very badly in his past relationships. We have a deep connection but I know he is scared to commit in fear of getting hurt again. I am not pressuring him but I also want to be there for him to let him know that I would not hurt him. He is such a caring man and really deserves a woman to treat him with respect and love. Thank you so much for sharing this video. It is extremely helpful 💚
So sweet thanks for sharing! its a great connection :)
Excellent Video Mat! 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽💫😃🌟
Thank god I found You yes subscribed & hooked! Love it..
@@whatsappme2900 thanks Matt!
Welcome aboard!
Amazing again! I like how accurate all these tips are, thank you Mat 🙏♥️
wonderful so glad you enjoyed it ! :)
WOW, this video was gold. Really, thank you.
Glad you enjoyed it! 🤗
Hi, Mat! I watched your recent Monday’s with Mat on FB. BTW Congrats for accomplishing 3 years 🎉🎉🎉!! I’m learning so much about me & men from your videos. I would love to see your very 1st video on Monday’s with Mat. Can you share that link here on TH-cam?
Happy New Year 2020 to you & yours!🎇🎇🎇
BOOM thanks my dear! HA you wanna see the orig mondays with Mat?! here ya go :) facebook.com/IamMatShaffer/videos/vb.5218651/10108826987353433/?type=2&video_source=user_video_tab
Mat Shaffer Thank You So much for sharing, Mat! 💥Wow!💥 Your first vid touched my heart so much. Why? A dear friend of mine is going through the self-loathing & blaming himself. I’m not a psychologist or psychiatrist, but I can tell he’s hurting inside. I feel helpless, but he knows I’m here for him & his daughter.
Mat, I feel So proud of you! 🤩You’ve come a long way. You are changing many lives around the 🌎 including mine. I wish you continued success. Cheers!🍾🥂 I’m So grateful I found your channel in 2019. 🙏 😄 This is Jocelyn from sunny California☀️🌴🌈 Take care, Mat! ❤️
So wise and kind. You are a great teacher
Your kind words touch my heart, Corina❤️
This is such a unique advice video. And the one I never knew I needed, thank you for this.
@@whatsappme2900 I will, thank you ❤️
Glad it was helpful!
I have watched so many videos, some are great but this is the best. You give so much value along with passion in your videos, but lawd knows it is so much a woman have to know and do to attract, seduce, allure and keep a man interested, this is a full time job, lol. but I'm learning a lot and hope it pays off in the end. A new sub.
Glad you like them!
Thank you ! You explain everything so well. Very enlightening.
Fantastic! Thanks so much! ❤
Oneof your best videos! Straight forward, easy to understand. Thank you . 😊
You are very much welcome.
Matt, thank you so much for your welcome insights when it comes to high value men I have a couple of high value men friends and your insights will help me to communicate much better with them. You are my relationship expert.
Wow! You are so welcome. Thanks for sharing🙌❤️
Thank you so much truly video I always look lesterning to your video Man high value.I appreciate you.I am lucky women Happy lovely day
so appreciate that Holli!!
This is a beautiful video. Very important, liberating and inspiring.❤
Glad you think so!
Thankyou, very insightful.
so welcome!
This remind me of How To Be A Good Wife 1950s edition.
Thanks so much for your feedback!
You eloquently stated so many great gems. thank you
Glad you enjoyed!
Powerful video amazing again tips How much I love you guy sharing women live in forever.
Thank you so much!
Taking from KN's comment (below) on paying close attention to the man's response to what you put out there, as it shows his readiness and maturity ... it would be greatly appreciated, and make a guy more memorable, if HE also asked the deeper questions and showed real curiosity. That seldom happens, even with so-called high value men. By my experience they seem to wait for us to do a dance for them, see if we're worthy ... at which point I may decide they are great on paper, but probably boring in the long run!
mmhm great points!
@@Mat_Shaffer No offense to the guys, just a note from the girls' side!
I've done all of these things naturally. It hasn't made any difference.
I appreciate your comment on this!
Woww,thank you so much for the enlightenment!!blessings
Glad it was helpful!
I honour you really a lot!!! You do such an important job here, amazing!!! Hear all that true facts, helps me a lot to finde my self-confidence back after 14 years in a relationship and feel a bit insecure. Send you lots of love and light!! Greetings from Germany 👌💓🌟🎁😘🙋♀️💓
GUTEN TAG!! so glad you enjoyed it my dear... DANKE SEHR
I really like the way you explain things in detail and easy to understand!!!
Fantastic! Thanks so much!
really good advice. tho i hope not all ladies are going to learn that because then there's perhaps no longer that easy to stand out lol. competition between women for a man's attention is an emotionally cruel thing for a woman's heart to be participating in. especially if the outcome is not sure at all but you're still catching feelings and attraction, and then having this one-by-one time with someone and also someone else getting to do just the same. i haven't even been in a relationship so perhaps i haven't got a clear view on this stuff, but still since i've always been "the third" who's eyeing people i like, i kinda sense how sour all of this feels. i wish there was a way to avoid this polluted cold competition between women around desireable men. i wish relationships worked in a way that everyone who's having mutual emotional ties with The Mister are getting their share. and not that one Mrs snips him away and that's it.
Thanks for sharing!
Matt you are a genius....such an awesome video, really enriching and inspiring 💓🙏
Thank you for your kind words, they truly touch my heart! 💓
Mat 🙂 🥰 💐 this is a fantastic topic 😂🤣 🥰 the heading is perfect , this is going to help Plenty of women 🥰
Absolutely!! Love the share
Hi Matt..
Canadian subscriber here.
Thats deep..Great info.
Happy New Year.🙏
WONDERFUL! Hi Caryl! happy NY to you :)
@@Mat_Shaffer 👍
I love your channel you really teaching me a lot thank you so much 😊
You are so welcome! 🤗
Im very happy to get you Mat
It's blessing my life a lot ❤️🙏
Aww, you're the sweetest! Many thanks, Danny❤️
Thank you for the incredible video! Just what I needed!! When you say to use invitation and space to empower him what ways could you use this as a tool to bring him closer to you?
fantastic so glad you liked it! Im gonna do a whole video outlining more ways to implement the cycle - where do YOU think it would apply in your relationship??
I like the way you talked.. You explain it very well.. Very relax in ears🤩
Thanks a lot 😊
Yeah deep conaction too I love video Awesome both amazing
Amazing Hoili Swu love hearing that! Congrats on the breakthrough 🙌
you are so clear with your advice! brilliant! thanks so much
You're so welcome!
U r sooooo good!
Every video is incredible !
Thank you so much 😀
Mat, you're so brilliant! Really appreciate this video 🙏🙌🤗
So glad you enjoyed it! :) Many more to come!
Mat, I heard from an other dating coach that asking emotional questions can scare men off, because than we force them to be vulnerable and that could be received as violating their boundaries. How do you think about that? I loved hearing your view about asking deep questions, because I love going in depth haha. But yeah I don't wanna violate men their emotional boundaries..
youll be surprised how many men are open to vulnerability if you bring it to them in the right energy :)
@@Mat_Shaffer Wow that's really interesting! Im so glad to hear this.. You mean with a warm soft intention?
That’s what I am curious about too. I love it when men are emotionally open because it means they trust me, and I can build a lasting connection only when they let their guard down... was wondering why some hold back... Mat’s insight helps!