@@aniekponekpott9545 This is True. However, the desire for sex isn’t a bad or sinful thing. The problem is there are multitudes of not God-honoring “solutions” out there and in the midst of loneliness (especially as a single person) it’s tempting to break.
@@cashwalk7253 Sex is not bad in fact God created it but he has caveats which are; It is to be done by married people only. So if a married person has an urge, it can be said to be okay so long as it's not a lustful desire for the opposite sex. Yes, I agree that they are funny solutions out there, this is why we must embrace God's manual- 66 books, the Bible. Such a large compendium of books has all the info needed to overcome urges that are lustful.
Ok, shut up. God hates you and is evil God flooded the Earth, killing innocent people and killing his own son. God sends people to hell who have a hard time figuring out if he's real all because he chooses not to show himself but not Satan??? Why can Satan go to the garden and trick Adam and Eve to eat the forbidden fruit but not allow Satan into heaven??? Should God warn Adam and Eve of Satan??? because God knew this would happen. Why even have forbidden fruit in the garden. Why is lust only okay in marriage when people can't control their bodies when God made them this way??? Why did God punish us with sin when it's not our fault Adam and Eve sinned??? Why have Satan in heaven at first when God knew he would later on become evil when he knows what's in our hearts??? More people go to hell than heaven, and barely anyone goes to heaven, so why have faith??? Even if you do go to heaven, you won't see your loved ones if they're are in hell. Why does God allow children to starve and be killed if he loves us so much??? Saying Jesus is God makes no sense, and it's basically saying Jesus doesn't exist. Didn't Christians kill people who didn't believe in God or Jesus back then??? Why do non beleivers go to hell but not Satan??? Will you still love God if someone cut off both of your arms and legs??? You Christians are brainwashed thinking God is good and he cares about you. God is no different from the government. The government doesn't care about you, and neither does God.
Very true. This is hiding amongst people. It suddenly looks like it's not of importance yet (the enemy is prowling looking at whom to devour- Bible verse). Everything needs to be talked about in the open both for the Christian and all communities (Romans 13:14 "leave no provision for the flesh, to fulfill the lusts thereof". think about it, everyone is going through things differently but yet there is still common ground. This is so that we confess, repent, encourage, and pray for one another for the glory of God(confess to one another your sins and pray for one another, for the fervent prayer of a righteous person availeth much.. Bible verse). And keep on in the good works in Christ Jesus which God planned all along(Ephesians 2:10) We must pray. Thank God He transcends everything the word says "everyone must hear the gospel before Jesus comes" so God is using all platforms to spread the truth either way. Thank Jesus🎉🎉
Sex is a part of a marriage and once you have made that vow, you have to acknowledge and respect the fact that your spouse is a whole entire human being and must be treated with dignity and respect. . You are free to enjoy your spouse physically, but you must never objectify him or her. A lot goes into making a healthy marriage and while sex is one of the benefits, do not neglect important things like actually caring for one another, being patient with one another and genuinely looking out for each other's best interests.
Ok, shut up. God hates you and is evil God flooded the Earth, killing innocent people and killing his own son. God sends people to hell who have a hard time figuring out if he's real all because he chooses not to show himself but not Satan??? Why can Satan go to the garden and trick Adam and Eve to eat the forbidden fruit but not allow Satan into heaven??? Should God warn Adam and Eve of Satan??? because God knew this would happen. Why even have forbidden fruit in the garden. Why is lust only okay in marriage when people can't control their bodies when God made them this way??? Why did God punish us with sin when it's not our fault Adam and Eve sinned??? Why have Satan in heaven at first when God knew he would later on become evil when he knows what's in our hearts??? More people go to hell than heaven, and barely anyone goes to heaven, so why have faith??? Even if you do go to heaven, you won't see your loved ones if they're are in hell. Why does God allow children to starve and be killed if he loves us so much??? Saying Jesus is God makes no sense, and it's basically saying Jesus doesn't exist. Didn't Christians kill people who didn't believe in God or Jesus back then??? Why do non beleivers go to hell but not Satan??? Will you still love God if someone cut off both of your arms and legs??? You Christians are brainwashed thinking God is good and he cares about you. God is no different from the government. The government doesn't care about you, and neither does God.
After watching this video. I wanted to puke. And go bang my head. And listen to heavy metal music. Till I got a concussion or bleed from my temple. Because I don't like sex. The first time I did it was like is this all that there is is there nothing more???? Now 33 years later after the first time. And 10 years after I stopped having it. Because I was out of jail. I has emergency surgery. And nobody told me about the physical or the mental scars.And being a child in early 70s. There was a lot of confusion going on. And in the 80s the aids epidemic. And I didn't have very many people close to me. After my grandmother passed away. And being a adult child of a alcoholic. And I never fit in. All I leaned towards isolation. For example prom time. I was alone. Social dances when it came to slow dancing. I would leave. So I never felt right about sex. Or dating or marriage. So given a choice have sex with a wife. Or heavy metal music. And following Jesus. I take Jesus. The heavy metal music. And isolation. Because when I am in church. When the pastor says turn to your neighbor. Or Touch 3 people. I get up and either go to the bathroom. And puke. Or move to the back pews. Or away from people. Or leave to go home. Sorry but I have share my thoughts. But it's all true.
@joycemburu8041 Shut up therapt won't change the fact that more people go to hell than heaven and barely and rarely do people ever go to heaven, it's impossible basically and even if you do go, you won't see your loved ones or friends. Therapy doesn't change the fact God is evil and will let evil happen to you
Little personal here but I got married at 21 and was a virgin. As a Christian I was taught sex is a gift for my husband only and to wait until marriage. All of this is true but what I struggled with was that after I said “I do” and our life began together that I was supposed to just feel like suddenly it all good. I felt so guilty for so long after we had our intimate times and would feel shameful and that I was doing something sinful. Even though my husband NEVER made me feel that way or complained. It was a me trying to wrap my head around the fact that for so long it was No you can’t and then suddenly I have a ring on my finger a marriage certificate and now it’s okay. I felt so alone because no one I knew felt the same. My husband was so patient and kind and we prayed about this issue. Within time the shame and guilt left. I can’t be the only person that struggled with this mind set. Wish more counselors had been willing to listen and advise. Thank you for talking about these issues. We as Christians aren’t perfect and need Biblical guidance on these tougher issues.
My wife felt the same. She spent her whole life having her mother tell her that premarital sex was the "worst thing she could do to her mother". It was incredibly unhealthy for her, and almost ruined our relationship.
It has nothing to do with a ring or marriage license. Sex is covenant. There is no such thing as pre marriage sex because there is no marriage until you have sex. Look at the marriage of Isaac and Rebecca. A bride price was payed and Isaac took Rebecca into his tent the first day they met and lay with her and she was his wife 😊
@@Excalibur2 Premarital sex is wrong. I do agree that maybe her mother told her things about sex in such a way that it affected her mindset about it but this doesn't negate the truth. God commands that we have sex in marriage and not out of it or before it starts. If your wife had the right info about these things at the time then she would have been able to fight such accusations. The challenge is people use fear to try to instill sense in others but this in itself is not right. If people are taught to love God they will act differently.
I am a 27 year old virgin who is 28 soon and it's nice to see the misconceptions that people often have surrounding sex. I pray that myself and other christians out there can continue to shrug off the attacks of the enemy and continue to stay strong with the help of christ
Ok, shut up. God hates you and is evil God flooded the Earth, killing innocent people and killing his own son. God sends people to hell who have a hard time figuring out if he's real all because he chooses not to show himself but not Satan??? Why can Satan go to the garden and trick Adam and Eve to eat the forbidden fruit but not allow Satan into heaven??? Should God warn Adam and Eve of Satan??? because God knew this would happen. Why even have forbidden fruit in the garden. Why is lust only okay in marriage when people can't control their bodies when God made them this way??? Why did God punish us with sin when it's not our fault Adam and Eve sinned??? Why have Satan in heaven at first when God knew he would later on become evil when he knows what's in our hearts??? More people go to hell than heaven, and barely anyone goes to heaven, so why have faith??? Even if you do go to heaven, you won't see your loved ones if they're are in hell. Why does God allow children to starve and be killed if he loves us so much??? Saying Jesus is God makes no sense, and it's basically saying Jesus doesn't exist. Didn't Christians kill people who didn't believe in God or Jesus back then??? Why do non beleivers go to hell but not Satan??? Will you still love God if someone cut off both of your arms and legs??? You Christians are brainwashed thinking God is good and he cares about you. God is no different from the government. The government doesn't care about you, and neither does God.
As a 21 year old in the nicest way that I don't know how to sugar coat 😅 - It puts me at ease to see there are people older than me who are virgins, whether it's your age or older. It really does take a weight off me. So many people I went to school with either got pregnant within a couple of years or instantly after leaving or they're just sleeping around and it's very tempting to join in with their lifestyle. But then I remember Jesus was a virgin and had the same struggles as us. Or at least i think he did.
Im on monk mode its fixing me slowly gods helping me im overcomeing a 23 year addiction to the hub 7 months strong so far keep me in your prayers. Im waiting for a wife god will provide. Gotta fix yourself and learn to follow before you can lead. Im on the greater plan for god stay strong brothers and sisters
Just saw your comment and wanted to check in. I hope you have been staying strong. But also I encourage you that if you backslide thats not the end. It's okay to trip or stumble as we attempt to better ourselves and grow closer to God.
@@jesseholder9795 im hanging in i backslide a bit but im part of a good christan discord now of men im going to church more im growing closer to God and i am being baptized today do im excited. Im keep on fighting.
Sex in marriage: 1. Should not involve other people 2. Should not involve videos of others 3. Should be consensual 4. Should be natural. Even in marriage, there’s a line. All the unnatural stuff comes from external exposure. It is learned.
Number one word that makes sex unbelievable in marriage and it is called LOVE. No acronym needed. I married my high school girlfriend because I love her. 32 years later we are like honeymooners. The answer is loving the Lord with all of our heart, mind, and soul. Sex is the most beautiful expression of love to offer our spouses. Sex gets better the closer we get to God because God anoints the marriage. If we keep records of wrongs and start resenting and holding back from our spouse we are not honoring Gods plan for marriage. It is a 3 way covenant. It is important to a marriage also. My wife and I are in our 50's and we have the energy of 20 year old's. God does this for us.
Allen Parr! You are one of my favorite Christian Teachers ... Believe it on not, but You're videos are defiantly helping other people who want to learn more about the bible and the Lord ... Keep up the Great Impact! ... I've Been watching since 2021... May this channel keep growing and changing countless lives.
You touch on topics that are really what we all struggle with in the closet. Thank you for openness and taking the stigma away from talking about sex in a healthy and healing way.
Ok, shut up. God hates you and is evil God flooded the Earth, killing innocent people and killing his own son. God sends people to hell who have a hard time figuring out if he's real all because he chooses not to show himself but not Satan??? Why can Satan go to the garden and trick Adam and Eve to eat the forbidden fruit but not allow Satan into heaven??? Should God warn Adam and Eve of Satan??? because God knew this would happen. Why even have forbidden fruit in the garden. Why is lust only okay in marriage when people can't control their bodies when God made them this way??? Why did God punish us with sin when it's not our fault Adam and Eve sinned??? Why have Satan in heaven at first when God knew he would later on become evil when he knows what's in our hearts??? More people go to hell than heaven, and barely anyone goes to heaven, so why have faith??? Even if you do go to heaven, you won't see your loved ones if they're are in hell. Why does God allow children to starve and be killed if he loves us so much??? Saying Jesus is God makes no sense, and it's basically saying Jesus doesn't exist. Didn't Christians kill people who didn't believe in God or Jesus back then??? Why do non beleivers go to hell but not Satan??? Will you still love God if someone cut off both of your arms and legs??? You Christians are brainwashed thinking God is good and he cares about you. God is no different from the government. The government doesn't care about you, and neither does God.
Been praying for an answer and help overcoming porn addiction. Thank you God and you for this video. I am a happy married man, but brought this addiction into the marriage.
Praying for you and God bless you!! Give it to God. Scripture tells us “So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed.” Christ set me free from a sexual addiction, never been the same since. With Christ, there is always hope.
@@caleb9472 doesn't always work, can God heal his wounds in his mind? Absolutely. What needs to happen in the meantime is he should try to get help. And what has to happen is he needs to break the shame cycle.
I am 31. I am still waiting for marriage to have sex. I have struggled with lust since I was 11. I am also a two time sexual assault survivor. And that definitely messed with my mental health and how I viewed sex. I was already terrified of sex before that happened. I wasn't r*ped. But it came pretty close both times. I finally started seeing a therapist a couple of years afterwards. But I realized that there were some things that I had never struggled with before my assault. Such as masturbation and reading erotica. I highly encourage people to read Jay Stringer's book. I think it's called Unashamed. It's a bit graphic though. There were parts of the book that I had to skip past. As it went into too much detail. I am still single. I honestly dread telling my future husband about my sexual past. I did some stuff that I am not proud before and after my assault.
Ok, shut up. God hates you and is evil God flooded the Earth, killing innocent people and killing his own son. God sends people to hell who have a hard time figuring out if he's real all because he chooses not to show himself but not Satan??? Why can Satan go to the garden and trick Adam and Eve to eat the forbidden fruit but not allow Satan into heaven??? Should God warn Adam and Eve of Satan??? because God knew this would happen. Why even have forbidden fruit in the garden. Why is lust only okay in marriage when people can't control their bodies when God made them this way??? Why did God punish us with sin when it's not our fault Adam and Eve sinned??? Why have Satan in heaven at first when God knew he would later on become evil when he knows what's in our hearts??? More people go to hell than heaven, and barely anyone goes to heaven, so why have faith??? Even if you do go to heaven, you won't see your loved ones if they're are in hell. Why does God allow children to starve and be killed if he loves us so much??? Saying Jesus is God makes no sense, and it's basically saying Jesus doesn't exist. Didn't Christians kill people who didn't believe in God or Jesus back then??? Why do non beleivers go to hell but not Satan??? Will you still love God if someone cut off both of your arms and legs??? You Christians are brainwashed thinking God is good and he cares about you. God is no different from the government. The government doesn't care about you, and neither does God.
You crack me up Allen. 😂 I love the way you bring the message across with the touch of humor. Love it. Blessings to you my brother in Hristos. -Slavic brother
Going on 10 years of sexless marriage due to health issues. I've yet to find any content that ever addresses anything like this. Its extremely lonely. Worse then being single.
I'm in the same boat. My husband doesn't even sleep in the same room with me anymore. I think my sex drive finally just died a couple years ago due to neglect. Every now and then something rouses it up again, and I have to distract myself to keep from drifting into temptation. But God is faithful and always gives us a way out of temptation. The Devil is a liar, always remember that.
Allen u are such a blessing to the family of God. You teach on well needed subjects others won't touch. Keep on giving us the word of God. God bless u bro.
😪 this video is two years too late for me. It feels like there’s not a community for young+divorced people. It’s a lonely situation to be in, especially when other people your age are just now settling down. Thank you for your videos! Update: thanks to those of you who prayed, if any of you did. Coping with the reality of my forever-singleness has gotten easier this past month. It comes and goes in waves, but I surrender to God.
Hey saint, so sorry to hear about your situation. As the other saint said, continue to walk with God on these issues. Its never too late with Him. He loves you and will make a way. 2nd Cor5 Therefore, if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new. You have future❤
The options for men overseas are more plentiful, that's why they leaving the US for countries that are more traditional, conservative, and the women are more feminine. Passport Bro's are only going to be more common as the West continues to circle the drain.
Thank you all, and yes, I do take it up with God. It still doesn’t negate that nobody really provides a community for us young and divorced people. I think it’s a unique struggle only other young, divorced Christians can understand…yet, here we are, people still glossing over that fact.
Everybody emphasizes the importance of community/support for other struggles. When I bring up the struggles/temptations of being young (raging hormones) and divorced (never having sex again), people just throw a Bible at me and say God be with you. I don’t get it…why is it ok to keep ignoring this struggle while pretending every young person is waiting for marriage? What about those of us who will never be able to marry again, where’s that support? I guess we’re just left biting the pillow…
So glad you tackled such a sensitive subject. A lot of pastors would not tell me if 'self sex' (masterbation) was ok or scriptural. How can you explain it to someone else if you can't get a straight answer?
@@depnewshound I believe self love is a gift for single people. Studies have shown that self love reduces stress and anxiety. Not everyone is lucky enough to find a partner and get married.
As a male 27, single, it's hard out here, especially bcs marriage looks like a scam nowadays and my older brother is in a very unhappy marriage right now where his spouse stays at her mom's house and don't come back to him, he divorced but isn't allowed to remarry, which is brutal.
Marriage is scam to some degree but not always because it bit complicate to explain I'm 31 going on 32 I'm getting older to fast so I'm trying to find a woman before it's too late to joy sex cost of getting married is expensive it's not worth money because the cost of living is high to even afford one ranging from 10k at least to 15k to so on I don't think God would have only some people to afford Ceremony to be called sacred money is not sacred matterielesim if people who believe in Christ I don't think he would only allowed for some to enjoy this gift as matter fact he not for the world but against it so this ideology to wating is like having your dinner to be to be served to be only cold instead getting in time to be warm SEX Is Not Sin for lot of reasons and for lot or reason as well the word you would write me back for the biblically reference would be Forncation and Marriage right well you do not know what that word actually mean you probably heard of this in church right if you want to know what I know about that ask me and you could look for yourself so know I'm deceive you at all I'm telling the WHOLE TRUTH.
He made a mistake by divorcing. The thing is whether divorced or not you are in the same position. It's like moving in circles and thinking that you are moving forward. The person you divorced is still your wife/husband that is why divorce and remarriage is called consecutive polygamy. Your brother should have simply married another woman without divorcing the wife. God allows that. He doesn't allow this thing of consecutive polygamy
@@npzwane9331 no marriage is between one man and one woman, he doesn't allow you to have multiple wife's like in Islam. He only tolerated it back in the days bcs of sociatel norms and many women couldn't survive on their own. Well that changed, so you are only allowed to have 1 wife and if you marry her, you made to God a promise that you will stay by her side forever, unless she or you cheat or die, then you can remarry. What God brings together =marriage (become one flesh) no human has the right to undo! That's a very serious heavy sin.
@weirdanimez6431 Please that is not true. I am talking from a Christian perspective. This one man one woman thing is nothing but lies from the west. Which verse in the bible says polygamy is a sin. Which verse in the bible says God tolerated polygamy. Polygamy is holy. There are many Christian denominations especially those who are not headquartered in Europe which don't believe in this thing. Of course they are correct
“Uhhh first of all, you shouldn’t be doing anything before you got married.” Lol I love it! God bless you Allen and the rest of my brothers and sisters in Christ Jesus!
Disagree, the ideological teaching that "SEX BEFORE MARRIAGE IS SIN" is not biblical and is completely false. I am not sure exactly where this VERY COMMON CHRISTIAN teaching come from or was started but it's simply not biblical. Biblical marriage Doesn't Even Start UNTIL Sex. This is VITAL to understand. Because once you understand this then you can have a better understanding of how SERIOUS the Marriage Covenant is. Biblical marriage has Nothing to do with a state certificate. Once again, NOT BIBLICAL. Biblical marriage consists of a man and a woman who decide to spend the rest of your life. They agree mutually to spend the rest of their lives together and once they establish this and come together sexually they are then married. I am speaking this Briefly bringing biblical marriage into the modern age. In a God Fearing world biblical marriage would go as this. 1. Young man sees a girl he is interested in. The young man goes to the Father and request to take her to wife. If the father agrees they may have an espousal ceremony. The young man later takes the girl home with him, they have sex, and at that point they are considered married. They are NOT married UNTIL they come together sexually. They are only espoused which is treated LIKE a marriage but is not yet a marriage even though she has been claimed for him. 2. The young man and young lady decide to come together sexually without any espousal. They then are immediately considered married. If either backs out they are judged and shamed and shunned. In both biblical scenarios the young man would be liable to pay a virgins dowery to the Father for taking his daughter to wife. Either way the marriage is not consemated until they have come together sexually ! This means that if sex before marriage were a sin there would be no marriage because your not even considered married until you have consemated it through sex.
@@TheOmegaRain No sir! You are misled and misleading others and I’m glad that I found this to speak biblical truth! The Bible says that before someone went into THEIR SPOUSE married them first. Nowhere in all of the Bible does it say someone went into another person before they MARRIED OR TOOK AS WIFE unless it was rape. Sex consummated the marriage but that person was MARRIED FIRST! Brothers and sisters DO NOT BE MISLED AND STUMBLE OFF OF THIS MISCONCEPTION AND DECEPTION THAT SEX BEFORE MARRIED IS OK!!!
This is very true. And, the scheduling doesn't have to be "spontaneous" or "romantic". Sex should be open. You need to figure out what is right for you and for your spouse. Make it fun when you figure each other out. That's what a marriage should be. I've never been married, but I still know that the spouses should talk about it and learn how to please yourself and your spouse.
Here’s a tip for you ladies, “actually tell your man when you are feeling aroused”. You need to tell him when you want him. Otherwise it’s a guessing game of disappointment. Men are always ready, you need to tell us when you are too.
Thank you for sharing this information Mr. Allen. I'm currently single, and in a battle of going back forth of desiring marriage. I pray to God through Jesus Christ by the power of God giving life Spirit on this matter wanting to get married to experience the blessings of it, including this subject. I have been watching videos related to this topic to increase and improve my understanding of God's Will during my time of singleness. I'm learning to put faith in the Lord, so I don't put sex or marriage above Him. I've done so before in previous relationships, and I learned from my mistakes and repent of those sins. Thank you for your wisdom as I hope to share testimonies in the future to combat the more destructive, sinful behavior that my generation worships. Have a blessed day.
Thank you Brother Allen for shining a light of Truth in the Lord God on this for all (before and after marriage) people to hear and to decern these very necessary deceptive ideas. Taking notes! I need to live in Truth and Spirit in everything leaving no provision for the enemy Halleluyha. God bless you!
I’m a single woman and wonder if I should be watching this video 🤔 But I’ll admit I have watched inappropriate things like Hentai (anime porn) but it’s not constant but still I feel grieved after seeing it. But those images still pop in my mind. Being an visual artist I was exposed to lots of things. Also urges happens right near my period then it goes away but then comes back. Hormones are crying. 😭 Physically a virgin but mentally I’m not according to the Bible since I’ve exposed myself to looking at things I shouldn’t be looking at. So that makes me not pure. I thought maybe if I’m married the lust would go away and urges justified. I need serious prayer that God will take away lustful desires so I’m not thinking about it seeking imagery to feed it. 😭😭😭. I just want these feelings saved until I end up getting married. Again it happens about 10-14 days leading to my period. I’ll seek out romance stories but it can go too far. Have other woman experience this during their time of singleness?
Marriage def doesn't help that lust problem. I was like you and watched anime-porn and reg porn, reading porn, listening to porn for 10+ years THROUGHOUT marriage. I considered myself very lukewarm at the time, and considered leaving God for good. At my core, I was suffering from a rough life from my youth; I was SA'ed for years by my father. And, like you, I am also very artsy--I get inspiration from God to put on canvas now. But, now that I am back with God, feeling as if I have renewal in my faith, even though I have fought for deliverance, those images still pop up in my mind WHILE praying; images from the porn, the anime, the abuse...It's a nightmare esp if you suffer from rumination from OCD. Try and stop watching it while you can. Put blockers on your computer. Distract yourself. Go to the gym, go for a jog, talk to God constantly. Join women from church and other christian organizations as much as possible and tell them of your struggle. Immerse yourself in as much of God as you can to fight the good fight. You might also have something at your core that needs healing. Ask God what that is and get the help that only God can give. Ask for the Father's love. Let Him love you.
Hey, I know what you’re going through. I was in middle school when I started reading fanfiction porn and watching hentai. Those are years that I can’t get back full of depression, angst, and binge eating/purging. When I was a freshman in Highschool I repented of my sins and put my trust in Jesus to pay for my sins. It got better but I still wrestle with pornography and binge eating to this day. I’m now 19, and like you said I’m physically a virgin but in my mind I am nothing close. Keep fighting the good fight of faith, try to get help if you can, try to fill your life with God centered activities and helping others. I’ll mention you in my prayers 💛
Yes, you have to resist temptation. Earnestly pray the desire to be removed and it will. I use to have the same problem, but God took the burden and shame away.
It's more common that you think. But God sees your desire to give up that activity. It all starts with identifying what triggers those thoughts. It may be the music you listen to. Don't give the devil an inch, remember that it always starts with that. Identify and rebuke ALL thoughts that don't glorify God immediately, don't not let them swim in your head. Make it a habit every morning to pray for your mind, for any demonic spirit of lust, sexual immorality, spirit of incubus and succubus to have no power over you, to get out of your temple and your surroundings. And most importantly do not stop praying, even if you fail alot in the beginning. Devil wants to guilt trip you into not praying. Don't fall for that. God will catch you and give you the strength and deliverance.
Oh yes! Actually that’s a biological thing-around your period your hormones are in flux and an increased libido is one of the results. After your period it’s common to experience an increased sexual desire (because of ovulation). You are normal, dear 💜 also in Christ we are purified and cleansed. Don’t hold the sins that Christ has forgiven 💜
Brother Parr, thank you for sharing this video. Definitely some helpful facts that I often need to remind myself in my own marriage that often make me struggle. God bless you
Thanks for helping to break down barriers...with these in place it makes me wonder what does the single Christian do to take their mind of sex or not think about it? Is the answer is to just volunteer more at church or get a hobby?
I am a single woman with decades of celibacy under my belt. It's just a matter of knowing that God forbids premarital sex and that no fornicators will inherit the kingdom of heaven (1 Corinthians 6:9). I abstain out of love for the Lord, to obey Him. I don't do things to distract me--chastity just becomes a part of who you are (in my case).
I'm in my mid-30s, have been celibate my whole life, and have managed to mostly avoid porn, but the mental struggle is still there and probably always will be. However, I can say the best antidote I've found is to spend time on things you find genuinely fulfilling, things that will redirect your leftover mental energy in a positive direction. This can include volunteering or hobbies like you mentioned. It can also include learning skills, working on your health and fitness, or anything else that makes you a better or more capable person, which has the benefit of making you a better person for your spouse if and when they eventually come along.
Consistently pray for protection from carnal desires, for your mind, your heart and soul. Meditate on God's word. Rebuke those thoughts as soon as those they come and guard your eyes.
Do what the Bible says in James and Philippians: draw near to God by thinking about things that are noble, pure, lovely, and good. Ofc having hobbies to preoccupy the mind also helps. This is why i often say that it is a lie when "Christians" say it's impossible to keep God's laws. Christ did it, and He was exposed to the same temptations as a single male. We fail because we don't rely on the Bible and the Spirit like He did, not because it can't be done.
Allen I love your videos. God has truly blessed you with the ability to deliver powerful messages on sensitive topics. Yet you make sure that it feels like were having a conversation with a trusted person.
Grew up in military & went to many churches. I'm busy unlearning everything I was taught, and learning so many things I was never exposed to properly. I feel like so much church was like being thrown in the water as a kid who doesn't know how to swim & is terrified😔 So glad for this new generation of teachers (not saying they didn't exist, but I didn't know Wilkerson and others who were proper preachers. Just 700 club crap)
I upvoted this video, un-upvoted it,then upvoted it again just to upvote it twice! This video is very tasteful, informative, and a big blessing.🙌🏾🙏🏾 Thank you🥰🙏🏾🙌🏾
QUESTION, ALLEN: If both spouses commit adultery in a marriage and they divorce on those grounds, what then? Thank you, and keep teaching and preaching the good word of God. ❤
As much as some will say that both spouses are eligible to divorce, I think they can still work things out. Forgive themselves and ask God for forgiveness.
God does not expect you to stay in a marriage if your being abused. This is an old way of thinking. Read “enough is enough “ a Christian book that goes into detail on this topic.
This should be addressed in Pre Marriage counselling, Adult, I mean matured christians, and married couples discussion. So many couples today are suffering because of myths and false expectations.
i also think it's important to talk about how important consent is within marriage - i see so many Christians claiming that since the "two have become one", consent isn't necessary and their partner's body is there for them to do whatever they want with
Brazilian here, married to a beautiful brazilian woman for 16 years. Once you have kids it's pretty normal to reduce drastically the amount of romance between us. Nohing wrong with it, our 1 y/o daughter requires an enormous amount of care, and that drains our disposition. We expect that as time passes, it will change. We used to have twice or thrice a week at the best seasons of our marriage. Being the only one between us with past relationship intimate experience, that sure made me suffer with comparison and lust. I took almost a decade to overcome that and it brought suffering to us.
# 2 is huge! A lot of us have been sold the lie that someone must have tons of sexual experience to have a fulfilled marriage. Wrong! It takes work and communication.
This is good sir. The Christian community avoids talking openly about very important marriage matters but expect married couples to be excellent examples. That’s why it hasn’t worked and divorces abound.
Seek God then read the Bible God will is to set us apart from this World to know like the things in the World to seek righteousness to see God. He doesn't say us to stay out and hide from the World but to not associate from things from the World. You will really like the Bible if you isolate yourself on purpose. God send his son Jesus to die for our sins to save us. IF you accept Jesus as your Lord and Saviour he will save you give you the Holy spirit so you can be freed from the world and pursue God's will.
This video seems geared towards younger couples. When you are (51 and 47 like me and my husband). Most of these ( emotional) things, we have under control. However, since we are older, it's more of a physical( perimenopause, etc etc.)problem than an emotional one. Hopefully, he'll get around to us AARP crowd. Lol.
I worry about this as a single woman in mid 30s and have been practicing abstinence (only slipped up once several years ago and was my first time too). I worry about vaginal atrophy (which is a real thing), and vaginal dryness by the time I have a husband (if God blesses me with one and at that point, I kinda feel sorry for this future husband to deal with this very real health problem on my end :( )
Brother, thanks for tackling the tough issues. My wife and I are in a 2nd marriage for both of us. Our first spouses both cheated on us in the first marriages. When we got married 32 years ago, we made sure that our first commitment was to God, and our second commitment was to each other. Sure, there's been difficult times, especially with me because I fell into the porn trap too. And it is a trap set by Satan himself to mess up our lives. God has taken that from me...(it took years), but now with us later in life, the sex is still incredible, yes, in our 60's! (That should gross a few people out), but when you've taken care of yourselves, you can still, take care of business. 😄👍🙏🙏🙏 God's provisions are amazing.
I can relate so much to this brother. Also on my second marriage and both my wife and I experience the same thing as you and your life. Leaving cheaters made it extremely difficult for us to finally get married again. However after we did our sex life completely changed for the better. I can't explain how much better it feels to make love then just satisfy your desires. Also Im glad to hear that you overcame your p*** addiction, not an easy one who overcome. I can't imagine how anyone could overcome it without the help of God. 🙏
Aww sex at 60 with loving partner sounds beautiful, nothing gross about a healthy relationship. Love hearing how you found each other and choose to continually commit. Thankyou for sharing
I thank God for you. Thank you for this message. Thank you for breaking it down and opening my mind to the truth, for clearing up these misconceptions. God bless you as you continue to do his work.
Going to push back on one thing, that whole exploring thing…. Don’t extrapolate to far. The body was made for each part to have a specific function… don’t abuse it, as in use areas not meant for that function.
Yknow I disagree with our brother Allen more often than not, but I really appreciate the openness and honesty with which he appreciates this topic. I see too many Christians that avoid this topic because of taboo and just aren’t equipped to talk and teach about it, and probably don’t have a healthy interaction in their own lives, despite how often in the Bible holy sex is described as beautiful, fun, and even willed from God Himself. A thing does not become bad simply from irresponsible engagement with it, and I appreciate the respect given in engagement with this topic a lot here.
Then why are you here watching this video? @@josecontreras2997 In Genesis, God tells us it is not good to be alone. You see marriage as a messed up life you're going to miss out on life altogether. That's sad.
What's known don't need to be explained........when you are one with your spouse in the Spirit you will make love that is so good you don't even need romantic music to play!
One of the reasons I agree marriage is not the solution to lust problems or sex addiction is what if something during marriage, especially early on, that person permanently loses physical ability to be intimate? Can you handle the concept that there is much more leg work and purpose in marriage that is higher than sex?
That first one is often stated but WILDLY overrated. No, believe it or not, getting married and having a healthy way to satisfy your sexual desires/needs will in fact help with your lust. I’ve had too many conversations with young married couples to believe otherwise. It is FAR easier for someone to not click on the porn link (or click off of it when it pops up, because it DOES just pop up at times) if they can just go have sex with their spouse. I look at it this way. A single guy is scrolling through social media online at night in his house/apartment by himself. At the same time a married man is scrolling through social media in his house/apartment and it’s only himself and his wife there. Both have a pop-up open up for an adult website. Who has the higher/better chance of not clicking on the link? Obviously the married guy because he has a healthy release for his sexual desires, whereas the single guy doesn’t. Is it a cure? No! But it is a HUGE aid.
This is actually quite sound, biblically. It is not that marriage cures lustfulness, but it does help in being sexually pure. This is one Paul's arguments FOR marriage in 1 Cor 7. It doesn't make you pure, but it does help with purity.
Ya I never got that. It’s not that it couldn’t still be a problem later, but having _any_ healthy outlet compared to literally nothing is still better. I mean, the main tip suggested if you’re struggling with lust… is get married sooner. What kind of advice is that? The only other one is devote yourself to God (basically be more active in church duties). Which I guess is something, but most advice is “don’t do it” which doesn’t solve anything because it’s not an action. Plus, part of the reason it becomes a problem is the guilt cycle. This push and pull of having a desire, wanting to satisfy it, and feeling guilty if you do or agitated if you don’t. And worrying if this unhealthy method is your only outlet. When you can do it guilt free (i.e. marital sex), all of those fears and concerns are washed away. Ironically, I wouldn’t be surprised if you think about sex _less_ after getting married (okay, maybe a few months in, lol) than if you had a problem with lust beforehand. Because now your mind isn’t pre-occupied, and every time you have the desire you don’t have to wrestle with the idea of “I shouldn’t” and “this might be the only way I experience this”. Obviously you’re not going to have sex every time one of you is interested, but you have a ton of sexual and non-sexual options compared to being single. Even if you’re not married you could at least cuddle or kiss or something. You can’t exactly cuddle yourself, and hugging a pillow is just going to feel pathetic. People might realize lust is “bad”, and say “you shouldn’t rush into a relationship” or “fix yourself before entering a relationship” as advice for singles, but they never followed that themselves and still had fine relationships. One of those phrases that sounds good, but very rarely realistic, unless it’s something really serious like a hardcore drug problem. Didn’t Allan still have this problem up to getting married? As in, he was still struggling even in his relationship? Which means he didn’t “solve” it before dating his girlfriend (now wife). So he’d be a hypocrite giving that advice (wait until it’s resolved before dating). Anytime you focus on being “perfect” in some area before doing X, almost always results in you never doing that. There’s too much pressure. I think a _better_ phrase/advice is, “start recovery before getting into a romantic relationship”. It shows you’re serious about changing (and you should wait some amount of time), but removes the pressure of waiting until you’re perfect. Because no one is perfect in correcting all their sins, but that doesn’t stop us from getting married. Swearing is a sin. Imagine you waited until you stopped swearing (or saying any insults/being passive-aggressive) until marriage. That is still sin, yet easily excused. Obviously they’re not 1:1 problems, but point being no one’s perfect in all areas, yet that doesn’t stop people from getting married anyway. You shouldn’t rely on them, but a partner _can_ help you with problems, which is what people ignore and don’t realize the hypocrisy of saying “fix yourself before entering a romantic relationship” but then suggest getting friends… which is just another form of a relationship. Relationships with people help, some just help in different/more ways than others. Getting friends isn’t going to help. You’re not gonna be kissing and cuddling them as ways to stave off/satiate your lust, lol.
@@zachw755 EXACTLY!!! In fact, it’s one of the arguments I’ve started making with the kids I lead in youth group about why they should prioritize marriage and starting a family over a career and college and all. Don’t put yourself into situations that will increase your temptation without giving yourself an easy out. Marriage is an easy out for sexual temptation, period. It’s not a cure, but quite frankly, there is no cure this side of glory. Temptation will always be there. Mitigating it as much as possible and putting ourselves in good scenarios is the best we can do
@@mrshmuga9 somewhere along the line the Church as deprioritize marriage, especially marriage for biblical reasons. Paul literally says that if you struggle with lust or sexual immorality, get married. He said it’s better to marry than to “burn with passion”. I don’t know about Allen, but to me, “burn with passion” sure sounds a lot like list and sexual immorality that is running rampant in culture (and the church) today. So, if Paul is saying “hey, if you’re struggling, get married” and Alan is saying “don’t get married until you don’t struggle anymore”, I’ll stick with the one we consider scripture.
I got a question for y'all. Preachers always say that sex off-marriage and "self-pleasuring" are forbidden, if you don't mind my saying, but... How do you manage that desire when you're single?
I agree....and in marriage one partner might not want sex that often.... I think self pleasure is better than having an affair. You get married to have sex, then you have GREAT sex but one's desire is higher... What do you do then? You communicate, say how you feel but the spouse keeps rejecting your sexual advances. This is devastating 😢.
First of all, preachers are saying just what God said. Second, God gave us the power of self control, we are not animals that don’t have control over our instincts and desires. Third, If you wish to do something good and ask for help, God will help you to do what seems to be impossible, possible.
Ask God to take away the desire. I had the same problem until I said if I cannot act on my desires Lord just take them away. Going on six years abstinent and almost half of that no masturbation.
I'm really struggling with masturbation right now as an unmarried guy, so can y'all pray for me? But yeah, I've found that if I miss even one day of prayer with the Lord, my chances of giving into this sin skyrocket. When my desire for intimacy is fulfilled in the Lord, I have nearly unending strength. So prayer is the key for me.
@@Ash-gz9co I've done that too.... I'm still young and married, but in a sexless marriage with a wonderful husband, who just is not sexually that into me....since we got married 27 years ago.... it's not easy living like this and to be fair I think the Almighty is more concerned with your heart and how you treat your spouse and the people around you than the occasional slip.... God bless you ✝️
You aware on a roll with these videos Brother Allen! 👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿 This video was EXCELLENT! A lot of the things you spoke about in this video have personal significance to me. I’m not sure why I’m watching this video now though lol😅 since I’m going through a separation from my husband right now. But, I still found it helpful and useful. Thank you so much!❤
Faith over everything! Even as I constantly struggle to pay my rent. And I constantly struggle to provide groceries for my children! I trust you Lord! I’m choosing to keep faith. Walking with faith is the most important thing us christian’s must do. That’s why love compassion and prayers are all we truly need. Please keep me in your prayers. As Christians it’s vital to trust God no matter what we are facing. I want to give up so bad! But God won’t allow me because he is our only strength in this world. As a single mom, things are tough on me. My husband passed years ago. I feel so alone. Both of my sons are autistic and non verbal. I’m constantly struggling to provide for my boys. I’m overwhelmed and so ashamed. Father God hear my prayers. My faith in you is strong! Even though I’m constantly in fear of losing my home. I have faith a miracle is on the way! Faith over fear! ❤
Please don't feel ashamed, you have absolutely nothing to be ashamed about. If you ever do then go into your closet or a private area and confess it to God. DON'T GIVE UP, EVER. Everything you're going through is making your faith stronger so you're prepared to face what's really coming to this country. You ARE NOT alone.
I pray our Heavenly Father God visits you sister ❤ turn to the scriptures and begin praying the word of God over your life, your sons and everything else. I know it’s not easy but please choose to put your full trust and faith in God’s word and believe without a shadow of a doubt that He who created you will help you ❤. I pray for your sons that In Jesus Christ name God will be their refuge🙏🏾
I'm a single man myself. God has called me to celibacy as well. It's hard sometimes tough, it would be nice to have a woman that way sometimes. But i do want it to be with my wife and wife only
Man! Ok Allen you won the weight lost contest! I see you Bro!😂 I understand you partnered with Covenant Eyes and thats fine but what about covenant refrigerators😭😭😭🤣🤣🤣. I need to loose weight. Awesome video as usual ❤
Remember, my fellow brothers and sisters, that freedom from lust has already been won by Jesus. We should not be crying out to be set free, because we are already free. All we need to do is choose the freedom that has been won for us.
Your advice is very correct and it should be like that but most of the time we are unable to do that and we men look for short cuts which sometimes bring trouble in our marriage and start blame shifting.
Wow I’m so glad I ran into your TH-cam just few mins ago because a dude was going back and forth with me about sex not being a sin 🤦🏾♀️🤦🏾♀️ this generation is so lost I’m so glad I am found
If you are reading this, you are amazing and I want to let you know, no matter how hard your trials may be, that Jesus is there for you. ❤️✝️ *Romans 8:33-34 - “ Who can accuse the people God has chosen? No one! God is the one who makes them right. Who can say that God’s people are guilty? No one! Christ Jesus died for us, but that is not all. He was also raised from death.”* ☺️ I hope you have a good day! ⭐️😎🥰
Thank you for this video....I honestly thought I was crazy for feeling self sex is not good...my friends try to tell me it's normal and there's nothing wrong with making yourself feel good...
I agree with this video, but is missing one thing…the prohibition of anal sex. It is implied in Scripture as forbidden. It is an exit-only and can lead to serious medical issues.
Thank you for mentioning this and Id like a video on the subject BECAUSE as a widowed woman in the dating world, I have ran across a couple of potential boyfriends and in "discussions" I descovered that they expected anal sex from a woman if involved with her romantically. When I expressed my disapproval and complete resistance to the idea and backed it up by saying "this is ungodly, demeaning and something that I will never do" I got loads of pushback and even some attempted manipulation tactics. Both potential candidates claimed to be Christian men and both tried to twist my thinking. Neither are in my life. The more I've talked among lady friends I have descoverd that anal sex seems to be a trending thing that more people are accepting as "normal and natural" . I think it's sick and evil.
I’m sorry sisters, first let me say I have never engaged in anal sex. However I really need the scripture that paints this as ungodly, where does it say that this is sexual immorality. I’m serious.
@@deloresmatt8643 It's a topic that needs some clarification I will agree, I hope he makes a video on it as it is definate that a Vjj HAS a purpose for sexual intercourse as well as reproduction, but a butthole is connected to our colon and digestive system...for the simple purpose of releasing waste and that is all. These are completely opposite functions, completely different organs altogether with different purposes and contain different bacteria's. Also, rectal bacteria transfered into the Vjj can cause serious infections. * I know an ER nurse who told me many stories about heterosexual couples AND gay men who through her experiences in the ER, having had to treat serious crisis regarding anal sex, said it can cause permanent damage to the rectum... and MUCH MORE. ( trying not to be graphic) She even said " sex is not what this part of the body is meant for" So, regardless of it being consensual between married couoles, etc. It's BIOLOGICAL purpose was NEVER meant for sex. It's a butthole. This leads me to believe that there's a very STRONG probability that its NOT natural nor God's purpose to be used as such a vessel.
Set your minds on the heavenly above not on earthly affections.📖 THIS BOOK WILL KEEP YOU FROM SIN Or SIN WILL KEEP YOU FROM THIS BOOK Colossians 3:2 👑 “Set your affection on things above, not on things on the earth.”
Where are the couples that actually have good sex lives? I am a 21 year old Christian and have always been walking with God but the more I see information and stats on sex in marriage the more I get discouraged. Most couples don't have healthy sex lives even if they are the most faithful christians you can find and that is such a turn off. Sex in marriage seems like such a complicated thing that is so prone to going wrong no matter what you do. Most women are not satisfied in bed, many couples stay together but never prioritize intimacy. How can this be the case when we are in Christ? Aren't we supposed to be the primary example for unbelievers?
A lot of professing Christian couples don't have good sex lives because traditional Christianity has absolutely failed them in many departments, especially when it comes to the subject of sex. They have been told that married couples were to only have sex for the sake of reproducing. This idea is proved demonstrably false in Paul's letters where he teaches by the authority of God in 1 Cor. 7 that they can make love without intending to reproduce.
Pray for us singles-it’s a struggle out here. 😅
Facts 😢
Jesus came that we might overcome sin and there's no amount of struggle that he can't nelp?
@@aniekponekpott9545 This is True. However, the desire for sex isn’t a bad or sinful thing. The problem is there are multitudes of not God-honoring “solutions” out there and in the midst of loneliness (especially as a single person) it’s tempting to break.
@@aniekponekpott9545 The Lord gives you help, but it IS different at 21, verses 31...verses 41 ... it's easier but also HARDER.
@@cashwalk7253 Sex is not bad in fact God created it but he has caveats which are; It is to be done by married people only. So if a married person has an urge, it can be said to be okay so long as it's not a lustful desire for the opposite sex. Yes, I agree that they are funny solutions out there, this is why we must embrace God's manual- 66 books, the Bible. Such a large compendium of books has all the info needed to overcome urges that are lustful.
Not only men struggle.
Welcome to Common Sense class, where today we are teaching... common sense.
True to that! Some women do struggle worse than some men.
Amen!
@@TeaBurnBeatsdoing the most
no pannies will be dropping in heaven
This is not talked about enough in the Christian community. Thank you brother Allen !
Ok, shut up. God hates you and is evil
God flooded the Earth, killing innocent people and killing his own son.
God sends people to hell who have a hard time figuring out if he's real all because he chooses not to show himself but not Satan???
Why can Satan go to the garden and trick Adam and Eve to eat the forbidden fruit but not allow Satan into heaven???
Should God warn Adam and Eve of Satan???
because God knew this would happen. Why even have forbidden fruit in the garden.
Why is lust only okay in marriage when people can't control their bodies when God made them this way???
Why did God punish us with sin when it's not our fault Adam and Eve sinned???
Why have Satan in heaven at first when God knew he would later on become evil when he knows what's in our hearts??? More people go to hell than heaven, and barely anyone goes to heaven, so why have faith???
Even if you do go to heaven, you won't see your loved ones if they're are in hell. Why does God allow children to starve and be killed if he loves us so much???
Saying Jesus is God makes no sense, and it's basically saying Jesus doesn't exist. Didn't Christians kill people who didn't believe in God or Jesus back then???
Why do non beleivers go to hell but not Satan???
Will you still love God if someone cut off both of your arms and legs???
You Christians are brainwashed thinking God is good and he cares about you. God is no different from the government. The government doesn't care about you, and neither does God.
Very true. This is hiding amongst people. It suddenly looks like it's not of importance yet (the enemy is prowling looking at whom to devour- Bible verse). Everything needs to be talked about in the open both for the Christian and all communities (Romans 13:14 "leave no provision for the flesh, to fulfill the lusts thereof".
think about it, everyone is going through things differently but yet there is still common ground. This is so that we confess, repent, encourage, and pray for one another for the glory of God(confess to one another your sins and pray for one another, for the fervent prayer of a righteous person availeth much.. Bible verse). And keep on in the good works in Christ Jesus which God planned all along(Ephesians 2:10)
We must pray. Thank God He transcends everything the word says "everyone must hear the gospel before Jesus comes" so God is using all platforms to spread the truth either way. Thank Jesus🎉🎉
Nobody wanna talk about sex, they feel like it's something people shouldn't do
@@InnerEagle very true my brother at the end when people get married they become frustrate with their sex lives
Sex is a part of a marriage and once you have made that vow, you have to acknowledge and respect the fact that your spouse is a whole entire human being and must be treated with dignity and respect. . You are free to enjoy your spouse physically, but you must never objectify him or her. A lot goes into making a healthy marriage and while sex is one of the benefits, do not neglect important things like actually caring for one another, being patient with one another and genuinely looking out for each other's best interests.
Ok, shut up. God hates you and is evil
God flooded the Earth, killing innocent people and killing his own son.
God sends people to hell who have a hard time figuring out if he's real all because he chooses not to show himself but not Satan???
Why can Satan go to the garden and trick Adam and Eve to eat the forbidden fruit but not allow Satan into heaven???
Should God warn Adam and Eve of Satan???
because God knew this would happen. Why even have forbidden fruit in the garden.
Why is lust only okay in marriage when people can't control their bodies when God made them this way???
Why did God punish us with sin when it's not our fault Adam and Eve sinned???
Why have Satan in heaven at first when God knew he would later on become evil when he knows what's in our hearts??? More people go to hell than heaven, and barely anyone goes to heaven, so why have faith???
Even if you do go to heaven, you won't see your loved ones if they're are in hell. Why does God allow children to starve and be killed if he loves us so much???
Saying Jesus is God makes no sense, and it's basically saying Jesus doesn't exist. Didn't Christians kill people who didn't believe in God or Jesus back then???
Why do non beleivers go to hell but not Satan???
Will you still love God if someone cut off both of your arms and legs???
You Christians are brainwashed thinking God is good and he cares about you. God is no different from the government. The government doesn't care about you, and neither does God.
After watching this video. I wanted to puke. And go bang my head. And listen to heavy metal music. Till I got a concussion or bleed from my temple. Because I don't like sex. The first time I did it was like is this all that there is is there nothing more???? Now 33 years later after the first time. And 10 years after I stopped having it. Because I was out of jail. I has emergency surgery. And nobody told me about the physical or the mental scars.And being a child in early 70s. There was a lot of confusion going on. And in the 80s the aids epidemic. And I didn't have very many people close to me. After my grandmother passed away. And being a adult child of a alcoholic. And I never fit in. All I leaned towards isolation. For example prom time. I was alone. Social dances when it came to slow dancing. I would leave. So I never felt right about sex. Or dating or marriage. So given a choice have sex with a wife. Or heavy metal music. And following Jesus. I take Jesus. The heavy metal music. And isolation. Because when I am in church. When the pastor says turn to your neighbor. Or Touch 3 people. I get up and either go to the bathroom. And puke. Or move to the back pews. Or away from people. Or leave to go home. Sorry but I have share my thoughts. But it's all true.
Sending love to you ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ and have you ever considered therapy or even talking to someone or even deliverance?
No sex is just being horny and thinking dirty thoughts. It's how you get diseases and unwanted pregnancies
@joycemburu8041 Shut up therapt won't change the fact that more people go to hell than heaven and barely and rarely do people ever go to heaven, it's impossible basically and even if you do go, you won't see your loved ones or friends. Therapy doesn't change the fact God is evil and will let evil happen to you
Little personal here but I got married at 21 and was a virgin. As a Christian I was taught sex is a gift for my husband only and to wait until marriage. All of this is true but what I struggled with was that after I said “I do” and our life began together that I was supposed to just feel like suddenly it all good. I felt so guilty for so long after we had our intimate times and would feel shameful and that I was doing something sinful. Even though my husband NEVER made me feel that way or complained. It was a me trying to wrap my head around the fact that for so long it was No you can’t and then suddenly I have a ring on my finger a marriage certificate and now it’s okay. I felt so alone because no one I knew felt the same. My husband was so patient and kind and we prayed about this issue. Within time the shame and guilt left. I can’t be the only person that struggled with this mind set. Wish more counselors had been willing to listen and advise. Thank you for talking about these issues. We as Christians aren’t perfect and need Biblical guidance on these tougher issues.
Have you ever talked to a minister about it? I will pray for you that you will figure it out and become happy and not feeling guilty.
My wife felt the same. She spent her whole life having her mother tell her that premarital sex was the "worst thing she could do to her mother". It was incredibly unhealthy for her, and almost ruined our relationship.
It has nothing to do with a ring or marriage license. Sex is covenant. There is no such thing as pre marriage sex because there is no marriage until you have sex. Look at the marriage of Isaac and Rebecca. A bride price was payed and Isaac took Rebecca into his tent the first day they met and lay with her and she was his wife 😊
@@ryanehlis426 that's true
@@Excalibur2 Premarital sex is wrong. I do agree that maybe her mother told her things about sex in such a way that it affected her mindset about it but this doesn't negate the truth. God commands that we have sex in marriage and not out of it or before it starts. If your wife had the right info about these things at the time then she would have been able to fight such accusations. The challenge is people use fear to try to instill sense in others but this in itself is not right. If people are taught to love God they will act differently.
I am a 27 year old virgin who is 28 soon and it's nice to see the misconceptions that people often have surrounding sex. I pray that myself and other christians out there can continue to shrug off the attacks of the enemy and continue to stay strong with the help of christ
Blessed May you remain.
Ok, shut up. God hates you and is evil
God flooded the Earth, killing innocent people and killing his own son.
God sends people to hell who have a hard time figuring out if he's real all because he chooses not to show himself but not Satan???
Why can Satan go to the garden and trick Adam and Eve to eat the forbidden fruit but not allow Satan into heaven???
Should God warn Adam and Eve of Satan???
because God knew this would happen. Why even have forbidden fruit in the garden.
Why is lust only okay in marriage when people can't control their bodies when God made them this way???
Why did God punish us with sin when it's not our fault Adam and Eve sinned???
Why have Satan in heaven at first when God knew he would later on become evil when he knows what's in our hearts??? More people go to hell than heaven, and barely anyone goes to heaven, so why have faith???
Even if you do go to heaven, you won't see your loved ones if they're are in hell. Why does God allow children to starve and be killed if he loves us so much???
Saying Jesus is God makes no sense, and it's basically saying Jesus doesn't exist. Didn't Christians kill people who didn't believe in God or Jesus back then???
Why do non beleivers go to hell but not Satan???
Will you still love God if someone cut off both of your arms and legs???
You Christians are brainwashed thinking God is good and he cares about you. God is no different from the government. The government doesn't care about you, and neither does God.
Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not your free, He will set you free
As a 21 year old in the nicest way that I don't know how to sugar coat 😅 -
It puts me at ease to see there are people older than me who are virgins, whether it's your age or older. It really does take a weight off me.
So many people I went to school with either got pregnant within a couple of years or instantly after leaving or they're just sleeping around and it's very tempting to join in with their lifestyle.
But then I remember Jesus was a virgin and had the same struggles as us. Or at least i think he did.
@@homelander428The world makes fornication seem right😢
The best thing in my life is loving my wife, no matter how difficult and crazy things get between us, the Love always prevail,
forever sex in heaven
God bless your marriage, my friend!
Im on monk mode its fixing me slowly gods helping me im overcomeing a 23 year addiction to the hub 7 months strong so far keep me in your prayers. Im waiting for a wife god will provide. Gotta fix yourself and learn to follow before you can lead. Im on the greater plan for god stay strong brothers and sisters
Just saw your comment and wanted to check in. I hope you have been staying strong. But also I encourage you that if you backslide thats not the end. It's okay to trip or stumble as we attempt to better ourselves and grow closer to God.
@@jesseholder9795 im hanging in i backslide a bit but im part of a good christan discord now of men im going to church more im growing closer to God and i am being baptized today do im excited. Im keep on fighting.
@@andrewsowik6075I pray you didn’t relapse and you now have a strong relationship with Christ
So many young people need to hear this message. I’ve seen porn addictions destroy relationships.
Social media is on the other opposite of coin.
Sex in marriage:
1. Should not involve other people
2. Should not involve videos of others
3. Should be consensual
4. Should be natural. Even in marriage, there’s a line. All the unnatural stuff comes from external exposure. It is learned.
What's unnatural?
@@NoobKillerTMidk
@@NoobKillerTMprobably the sex positions we see on the hub
Didn't you check the 6th point, dork? 🥱
What is unnatural?
Number one word that makes sex unbelievable in marriage and it is called LOVE. No acronym needed. I married my high school girlfriend because I love her. 32 years later we are like honeymooners. The answer is loving the Lord with all of our heart, mind, and soul. Sex is the most beautiful expression of love to offer our spouses. Sex gets better the closer we get to God because God anoints the marriage. If we keep records of wrongs and start resenting and holding back from our spouse we are not honoring Gods plan for marriage. It is a 3 way covenant. It is important to a marriage also. My wife and I are in our 50's and we have the energy of 20 year old's. God does this for us.
love is a decsion
Allen Parr! You are one of my favorite Christian Teachers ... Believe it on not, but You're videos are defiantly helping other people who want to learn more about the bible and the Lord ... Keep up the Great Impact! ... I've Been watching since 2021... May this channel keep growing and changing countless lives.
Totally agree.
You touch on topics that are really what we all struggle with in the closet. Thank you for openness and taking the stigma away from talking about sex in a healthy and healing way.
Ok, shut up. God hates you and is evil
God flooded the Earth, killing innocent people and killing his own son.
God sends people to hell who have a hard time figuring out if he's real all because he chooses not to show himself but not Satan???
Why can Satan go to the garden and trick Adam and Eve to eat the forbidden fruit but not allow Satan into heaven???
Should God warn Adam and Eve of Satan???
because God knew this would happen. Why even have forbidden fruit in the garden.
Why is lust only okay in marriage when people can't control their bodies when God made them this way???
Why did God punish us with sin when it's not our fault Adam and Eve sinned???
Why have Satan in heaven at first when God knew he would later on become evil when he knows what's in our hearts??? More people go to hell than heaven, and barely anyone goes to heaven, so why have faith???
Even if you do go to heaven, you won't see your loved ones if they're are in hell. Why does God allow children to starve and be killed if he loves us so much???
Saying Jesus is God makes no sense, and it's basically saying Jesus doesn't exist. Didn't Christians kill people who didn't believe in God or Jesus back then???
Why do non beleivers go to hell but not Satan???
Will you still love God if someone cut off both of your arms and legs???
You Christians are brainwashed thinking God is good and he cares about you. God is no different from the government. The government doesn't care about you, and neither does God.
Been praying for an answer and help overcoming porn addiction. Thank you God and you for this video. I am a happy married man, but brought this addiction into the marriage.
Conquer Series is a good resource. And the subsequent Seven Pillars of Freedom.
Praying for you and God bless you!! Give it to God. Scripture tells us “So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed.” Christ set me free from a sexual addiction, never been the same since. With Christ, there is always hope.
Pray to the holy spirit
@@caleb9472 doesn't always work, can God heal his wounds in his mind? Absolutely. What needs to happen in the meantime is he should try to get help. And what has to happen is he needs to break the shame cycle.
If you want to change your output, change your input
I am 31. I am still waiting for marriage to have sex. I have struggled with lust since I was 11. I am also a two time sexual assault survivor. And that definitely messed with my mental health and how I viewed sex. I was already terrified of sex before that happened. I wasn't r*ped. But it came pretty close both times.
I finally started seeing a therapist a couple of years afterwards. But I realized that there were some things that I had never struggled with before my assault. Such as masturbation and reading erotica. I highly encourage people to read Jay Stringer's book. I think it's called Unashamed. It's a bit graphic though. There were parts of the book that I had to skip past. As it went into too much detail. I am still single. I honestly dread telling my future husband about my sexual past. I did some stuff that I am not proud before and after my assault.
We have all done stuff that we are embarrassed/ashamed of. God will forgive you tho if you ask him, and that is all that matters. Praying for you! 🙏🏻
Pray for forgiveness and be truthful to your future husband. Everything will be fine.
Ok, shut up. God hates you and is evil
God flooded the Earth, killing innocent people and killing his own son.
God sends people to hell who have a hard time figuring out if he's real all because he chooses not to show himself but not Satan???
Why can Satan go to the garden and trick Adam and Eve to eat the forbidden fruit but not allow Satan into heaven???
Should God warn Adam and Eve of Satan???
because God knew this would happen. Why even have forbidden fruit in the garden.
Why is lust only okay in marriage when people can't control their bodies when God made them this way???
Why did God punish us with sin when it's not our fault Adam and Eve sinned???
Why have Satan in heaven at first when God knew he would later on become evil when he knows what's in our hearts??? More people go to hell than heaven, and barely anyone goes to heaven, so why have faith???
Even if you do go to heaven, you won't see your loved ones if they're are in hell. Why does God allow children to starve and be killed if he loves us so much???
Saying Jesus is God makes no sense, and it's basically saying Jesus doesn't exist. Didn't Christians kill people who didn't believe in God or Jesus back then???
Why do non beleivers go to hell but not Satan???
Will you still love God if someone cut off both of your arms and legs???
You Christians are brainwashed thinking God is good and he cares about you. God is no different from the government. The government doesn't care about you, and neither does God.
@@M1AnutGod made him that way so its not his fault
That is a lie from hell
This part of the series was extremely informative and comprehensive. Well done!
Hope u start making videos 📸 soon
You crack me up Allen. 😂 I love the way you bring the message across with the touch of humor. Love it. Blessings to you my brother in Hristos.
-Slavic brother
Going on 10 years of sexless marriage due to health issues. I've yet to find any content that ever addresses anything like this. Its extremely lonely. Worse then being single.
Talk to a doctor about it and make sure to fix it so you both Don't get tempted to commit infedility/adultery.
@@mrbeastvlogs9635 it's unfixable. Been there tried everything
Wait to long and your end up like a catholic priest and start to rape
@warnisxr dang that makes me sad
I'm in the same boat. My husband doesn't even sleep in the same room with me anymore. I think my sex drive finally just died a couple years ago due to neglect. Every now and then something rouses it up again, and I have to distract myself to keep from drifting into temptation. But God is faithful and always gives us a way out of temptation. The Devil is a liar, always remember that.
Allen u are such a blessing to the family of God. You teach on well needed subjects others won't touch. Keep on giving us the word of God. God bless u bro.
Excellent video! Informative, to-the-point, and extremely helpful. Thanks
😪 this video is two years too late for me. It feels like there’s not a community for young+divorced people. It’s a lonely situation to be in, especially when other people your age are just now settling down. Thank you for your videos!
Update: thanks to those of you who prayed, if any of you did. Coping with the reality of my forever-singleness has gotten easier this past month. It comes and goes in waves, but I surrender to God.
It's not late. Seek God on your personal time. You don't have to wait on man.
Hey saint, so sorry to hear about your situation. As the other saint said, continue to walk with God on these issues. Its never too late with Him. He loves you and will make a way. 2nd Cor5 Therefore, if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new. You have future❤
The options for men overseas are more plentiful, that's why they leaving the US for countries that are more traditional, conservative, and the women are more feminine. Passport Bro's are only going to be more common as the West continues to circle the drain.
Thank you all, and yes, I do take it up with God. It still doesn’t negate that nobody really provides a community for us young and divorced people. I think it’s a unique struggle only other young, divorced Christians can understand…yet, here we are, people still glossing over that fact.
Everybody emphasizes the importance of community/support for other struggles. When I bring up the struggles/temptations of being young (raging hormones) and divorced (never having sex again), people just throw a Bible at me and say God be with you. I don’t get it…why is it ok to keep ignoring this struggle while pretending every young person is waiting for marriage? What about those of us who will never be able to marry again, where’s that support? I guess we’re just left biting the pillow…
Wow..thanks gor being so frank, framing these topics from a biblical standpoint. Love your content!
Great video man.
I really appreciate you having the courage to talk about this subject when most Pastors never will.
So glad you tackled such a sensitive subject. A lot of pastors would not tell me if 'self sex' (masterbation) was ok or scriptural. How can you explain it to someone else if you can't get a straight answer?
I was hoping he would explain why. As a single person, the gift of sex is not for us.
@@valariehunter5389
Pray and ask the Lord to help you find beauty in celibacy.
Yeah, I think a lot of Christians assume it’s ok because it’s not talked about. Idk which verse covers that particular act tbh.
@@depnewshound I believe self love is a gift for single people. Studies have shown that self love reduces stress and anxiety. Not everyone is lucky enough to find a partner and get married.
As a male 27, single, it's hard out here, especially bcs marriage looks like a scam nowadays and my older brother is in a very unhappy marriage right now where his spouse stays at her mom's house and don't come back to him, he divorced but isn't allowed to remarry, which is brutal.
Marriage is scam to some degree but not always because it bit complicate to explain I'm 31 going on 32 I'm getting older to fast so I'm trying to find a woman before it's too late to joy sex cost of getting married is expensive it's not worth money because the cost of living is high to even afford one ranging from 10k at least to 15k to so on I don't think God would have only some people to afford Ceremony to be called sacred money is not sacred matterielesim if people who believe in Christ I don't think he would only allowed for some to enjoy this gift as matter fact he not for the world but against it so this ideology to wating is like having your dinner to be to be served to be only cold instead getting in time to be warm SEX Is Not Sin for lot of reasons and for lot or reason as well the word you would write me back for the biblically reference would be Forncation and Marriage right well you do not know what that word actually mean you probably heard of this in church right if you want to know what I know about that ask me and you could look for yourself so know I'm deceive you at all I'm telling the WHOLE TRUTH.
Don't look at your brothers situation, look at God. Keep your eyes on him and what he has in store for YOU!
He made a mistake by divorcing. The thing is whether divorced or not you are in the same position. It's like moving in circles and thinking that you are moving forward.
The person you divorced is still your wife/husband that is why divorce and remarriage is called consecutive polygamy.
Your brother should have simply married another woman without divorcing the wife. God allows that. He doesn't allow this thing of consecutive polygamy
@@npzwane9331 no marriage is between one man and one woman, he doesn't allow you to have multiple wife's like in Islam. He only tolerated it back in the days bcs of sociatel norms and many women couldn't survive on their own. Well that changed, so you are only allowed to have 1 wife and if you marry her, you made to God a promise that you will stay by her side forever, unless she or you cheat or die, then you can remarry. What God brings together =marriage (become one flesh) no human has the right to undo! That's a very serious heavy sin.
@weirdanimez6431 Please that is not true. I am talking from a Christian perspective. This one man one woman thing is nothing but lies from the west. Which verse in the bible says polygamy is a sin. Which verse in the bible says God tolerated polygamy. Polygamy is holy.
There are many Christian denominations especially those who are not headquartered in Europe which don't believe in this thing. Of course they are correct
Living the single life after years of abuse and online attacks and just need prayer on staying firm in my faith until the right man comes along.
Dear Allen, thanks for talking about this topic freely and with love. Be blessed, looking forward to see the next video!
Amen! Thank you for the candid and straight-forward as well as GODly approach to this subject. Very helpful and encouraging.
Great information. I am 67 years young and you are absolutely telling it as it is😊
Thank you 🙏🏾 Mr. Parr for talking about these topics that most ministers don’t even talk about,especially to our young people. You are a blessing ❤.
“Uhhh first of all, you shouldn’t be doing anything before you got married.” Lol I love it! God bless you Allen and the rest of my brothers and sisters in Christ Jesus!
Disagree, the ideological teaching that "SEX BEFORE MARRIAGE IS SIN" is not biblical and is completely false.
I am not sure exactly where this VERY COMMON CHRISTIAN teaching come from or was started but it's simply not biblical.
Biblical marriage Doesn't Even Start UNTIL Sex.
This is VITAL to understand. Because once you understand this then you can have a better understanding of how SERIOUS the Marriage Covenant is.
Biblical marriage has Nothing to do with a state certificate. Once again, NOT BIBLICAL.
Biblical marriage consists of a man and a woman who decide to spend the rest of your life. They agree mutually to spend the rest of their lives together and once they establish this and come together sexually they are then married.
I am speaking this Briefly bringing biblical marriage into the modern age.
In a God Fearing world biblical marriage would go as this.
1. Young man sees a girl he is interested in. The young man goes to the Father and request to take her to wife. If the father agrees they may have an espousal ceremony. The young man later takes the girl home with him, they have sex, and at that point they are considered married. They are NOT married UNTIL they come together sexually. They are only espoused which is treated LIKE a marriage but is not yet a marriage even though she has been claimed for him.
2. The young man and young lady decide to come together sexually without any espousal.
They then are immediately considered married. If either backs out they are judged and shamed and shunned.
In both biblical scenarios the young man would be liable to pay a virgins dowery to the Father for taking his daughter to wife.
Either way the marriage is not consemated until they have come together sexually !
This means that if sex before marriage were a sin there would be no marriage because your not even considered married until you have consemated it through sex.
Sex before marriage is a sin it's called fornication read your bible
Well me and my wife are very faithful more then some married couples.❤
@@TheOmegaRainfinally someone saying it clearly, thanks for sharing
@@TheOmegaRain No sir! You are misled and misleading others and I’m glad that I found this to speak biblical truth! The Bible says that before someone went into THEIR SPOUSE married them first. Nowhere in all of the Bible does it say someone went into another person before they MARRIED OR TOOK AS WIFE unless it was rape. Sex consummated the marriage but that person was MARRIED FIRST! Brothers and sisters DO NOT BE MISLED AND STUMBLE OFF OF THIS MISCONCEPTION AND DECEPTION THAT SEX BEFORE MARRIED IS OK!!!
Dynamite study and very honest . We can christians need the truth about subject the church years ago was afraid to speak on. Thanks brother Allen
Should do a Video about most asked questions that Christians face today and how to deal and answer the right way. This is just a suggestion
My wife and I have a connection mentally and spiritually through intimacy, knowledge, and wisdom. Sex is just icing on the cake.
This is very true. And, the scheduling doesn't have to be "spontaneous" or "romantic". Sex should be open. You need to figure out what is right for you and for your spouse. Make it fun when you figure each other out. That's what a marriage should be. I've never been married, but I still know that the spouses should talk about it and learn how to please yourself and your spouse.
Lol
Here’s a tip for you ladies, “actually tell your man when you are feeling aroused”. You need to tell him when you want him. Otherwise it’s a guessing game of disappointment. Men are always ready, you need to tell us when you are too.
And why should women follow your rule,can you lead them to heaven??
You are right that's good
I’m sorry #2 was hilarious and soooo true 😂 love this series brother!
Thank you for sharing this information Mr. Allen. I'm currently single, and in a battle of going back forth of desiring marriage. I pray to God through Jesus Christ by the power of God giving life Spirit on this matter wanting to get married to experience the blessings of it, including this subject.
I have been watching videos related to this topic to increase and improve my understanding of God's Will during my time of singleness. I'm learning to put faith in the Lord, so I don't put sex or marriage above Him. I've done so before in previous relationships, and I learned from my mistakes and repent of those sins.
Thank you for your wisdom as I hope to share testimonies in the future to combat the more destructive, sinful behavior that my generation worships.
Have a blessed day.
Thank you Brother Allen for shining a light of Truth in the Lord God on this for all (before and after marriage) people to hear and to decern these very necessary deceptive ideas. Taking notes! I need to live in Truth and Spirit in everything leaving no provision for the enemy Halleluyha. God bless you!
I’m a single woman and wonder if I should be watching this video 🤔
But I’ll admit I have watched inappropriate things like Hentai (anime porn) but it’s not constant but still I feel grieved after seeing it. But those images still pop in my mind. Being an visual artist I was exposed to lots of things.
Also urges happens right near my period then it goes away but then comes back. Hormones are crying. 😭 Physically a virgin but mentally I’m not according to the Bible since I’ve exposed myself to looking at things I shouldn’t be looking at. So that makes me not pure. I thought maybe if I’m married the lust would go away and urges justified. I need serious prayer that God will take away lustful desires so I’m not thinking about it seeking imagery to feed it. 😭😭😭. I just want these feelings saved until I end up getting married. Again it happens about 10-14 days leading to my period. I’ll seek out romance stories but it can go too far. Have other woman experience this during their time of singleness?
Marriage def doesn't help that lust problem. I was like you and watched anime-porn and reg porn, reading porn, listening to porn for 10+ years THROUGHOUT marriage. I considered myself very lukewarm at the time, and considered leaving God for good. At my core, I was suffering from a rough life from my youth; I was SA'ed for years by my father. And, like you, I am also very artsy--I get inspiration from God to put on canvas now. But, now that I am back with God, feeling as if I have renewal in my faith, even though I have fought for deliverance, those images still pop up in my mind WHILE praying; images from the porn, the anime, the abuse...It's a nightmare esp if you suffer from rumination from OCD. Try and stop watching it while you can. Put blockers on your computer. Distract yourself. Go to the gym, go for a jog, talk to God constantly. Join women from church and other christian organizations as much as possible and tell them of your struggle. Immerse yourself in as much of God as you can to fight the good fight. You might also have something at your core that needs healing. Ask God what that is and get the help that only God can give. Ask for the Father's love. Let Him love you.
Hey, I know what you’re going through.
I was in middle school when I started reading fanfiction porn and watching hentai. Those are years that I can’t get back full of depression, angst, and binge eating/purging.
When I was a freshman in Highschool I repented of my sins and put my trust in Jesus to pay for my sins.
It got better but I still wrestle with pornography and binge eating to this day.
I’m now 19, and like you said I’m physically a virgin but in my mind I am nothing close.
Keep fighting the good fight of faith, try to get help if you can, try to fill your life with God centered activities and helping others. I’ll mention you in my prayers
💛
Yes, you have to resist temptation. Earnestly pray the desire to be removed and it will. I use to have the same problem, but God took the burden and shame away.
It's more common that you think. But God sees your desire to give up that activity. It all starts with identifying what triggers those thoughts. It may be the music you listen to. Don't give the devil an inch, remember that it always starts with that. Identify and rebuke ALL thoughts that don't glorify God immediately, don't not let them swim in your head. Make it a habit every morning to pray for your mind, for any demonic spirit of lust, sexual immorality, spirit of incubus and succubus to have no power over you, to get out of your temple and your surroundings. And most importantly do not stop praying, even if you fail alot in the beginning. Devil wants to guilt trip you into not praying. Don't fall for that. God will catch you and give you the strength and deliverance.
Oh yes! Actually that’s a biological thing-around your period your hormones are in flux and an increased libido is one of the results. After your period it’s common to experience an increased sexual desire (because of ovulation).
You are normal, dear 💜 also in Christ we are purified and cleansed. Don’t hold the sins that Christ has forgiven 💜
I would never cheat, but I acknowledge there is a serious possibility through temptation
Very informative. Very Biblical and I like how you emphasize "In Marriage" - Ty Bro. Allen
Brother Parr, thank you for sharing this video. Definitely some helpful facts that I often need to remind myself in my own marriage that often make me struggle. God bless you
Thanks for helping to break down barriers...with these in place it makes me wonder what does the single Christian do to take their mind of sex or not think about it? Is the answer is to just volunteer more at church or get a hobby?
I am a single woman with decades of celibacy under my belt. It's just a matter of knowing that God forbids premarital sex and that no fornicators will inherit the kingdom of heaven (1 Corinthians 6:9). I abstain out of love for the Lord, to obey Him. I don't do things to distract me--chastity just becomes a part of who you are (in my case).
I'm in my mid-30s, have been celibate my whole life, and have managed to mostly avoid porn, but the mental struggle is still there and probably always will be. However, I can say the best antidote I've found is to spend time on things you find genuinely fulfilling, things that will redirect your leftover mental energy in a positive direction. This can include volunteering or hobbies like you mentioned. It can also include learning skills, working on your health and fitness, or anything else that makes you a better or more capable person, which has the benefit of making you a better person for your spouse if and when they eventually come along.
Consistently pray for protection from carnal desires, for your mind, your heart and soul. Meditate on God's word. Rebuke those thoughts as soon as those they come and guard your eyes.
Do what the Bible says in James and Philippians: draw near to God by thinking about things that are noble, pure, lovely, and good. Ofc having hobbies to preoccupy the mind also helps. This is why i often say that it is a lie when "Christians" say it's impossible to keep God's laws. Christ did it, and He was exposed to the same temptations as a single male. We fail because we don't rely on the Bible and the Spirit like He did, not because it can't be done.
God gave me a wonderful Christian woman that i just married 4 weeks ago at the age of 21
Allen I love your videos. God has truly blessed you with the ability to deliver powerful messages on sensitive topics. Yet you make sure that it feels like were having a conversation with a trusted person.
Thank you, brother Allen we’re doing a series on topic sex. Growing up in a black Pentecostal church. This topic was never discussed.
So true.
Grew up in military & went to many churches. I'm busy unlearning everything I was taught, and learning so many things I was never exposed to properly. I feel like so much church was like being thrown in the water as a kid who doesn't know how to swim & is terrified😔 So glad for this new generation of teachers (not saying they didn't exist, but I didn't know Wilkerson and others who were proper preachers. Just 700 club crap)
I upvoted this video, un-upvoted it,then upvoted it again just to upvote it twice! This video is very tasteful, informative, and a big blessing.🙌🏾🙏🏾 Thank you🥰🙏🏾🙌🏾
QUESTION, ALLEN: If both spouses commit adultery in a marriage and they divorce on those grounds, what then? Thank you, and keep teaching and preaching the good word of God. ❤
As much as some will say that both spouses are eligible to divorce, I think they can still work things out. Forgive themselves and ask God for forgiveness.
God does not expect you to stay in a marriage if your being abused. This is an old way of thinking. Read “enough is enough “ a Christian book that goes into detail on this topic.
@@promisepenton6669 Yeah. Sometimes things can work out, but a lot of times they can't. Better to have two households at peace than one at war.
@@promisepenton6669adultery is not abuse
@@aniekponekpott9545 forgiveness doesn't mean to trust
This should be addressed in Pre Marriage counselling, Adult, I mean matured christians, and married couples discussion. So many couples today are suffering because of myths and false expectations.
Thank you this helped out a great deal. I appreciate this series. God is so good using vessels as yourself to share his word accurately.
This has helped me a lot. as someone who is single God bless you Allen!
This has been more informative than any church pastor I've listened to on this subject. Thank you!
This is really helpful. I wasn’t taught well AT all. Raised in purity culture by a religious narcissist was rough. Thank you for this clarity!
i also think it's important to talk about how important consent is within marriage - i see so many Christians claiming that since the "two have become one", consent isn't necessary and their partner's body is there for them to do whatever they want with
Brazilian here, married to a beautiful brazilian woman for 16 years.
Once you have kids it's pretty normal to reduce drastically the amount of romance between us. Nohing wrong with it, our 1 y/o daughter requires an enormous amount of care, and that drains our disposition. We expect that as time passes, it will change. We used to have twice or thrice a week at the best seasons of our marriage.
Being the only one between us with past relationship intimate experience, that sure made me suffer with comparison and lust. I took almost a decade to overcome that and it brought suffering to us.
# 2 is huge! A lot of us have been sold the lie that someone must have tons of sexual experience to have a fulfilled marriage. Wrong! It takes work and communication.
This is good sir. The Christian community avoids talking openly about very important marriage matters but expect married couples to be excellent examples. That’s why it hasn’t worked and divorces abound.
Never had sex here! I'm 62 and have been a loner all my life,isolated myself from this messed up world on purpose
Seek God then read the Bible God will is to set us apart from this World to know like the things in the World to seek righteousness to see God. He doesn't say us to stay out and hide from the World but to not associate from things from the World. You will really like the Bible if you isolate yourself on purpose.
God send his son Jesus to die for our sins to save us. IF you accept Jesus as your Lord and Saviour he will save you give you the Holy spirit so you can be freed from the world and pursue God's will.
@@neortik7 I'd rather be there ,in heaven,than here for sure
@@Pault3788 Exactly!
#1 and #7 were helpful to me. Really needed the reminder and input. Thanks for sharing the truth we all need to hear!
This video seems geared towards younger couples. When you are (51 and 47 like me and my husband). Most of these ( emotional) things, we have under control. However, since we are older, it's more of a physical( perimenopause, etc etc.)problem than an emotional one. Hopefully, he'll get around to us AARP crowd. Lol.
I worry about this as a single woman in mid 30s and have been practicing abstinence (only slipped up once several years ago and was my first time too).
I worry about vaginal atrophy (which is a real thing), and vaginal dryness by the time I have a husband (if God blesses me with one and at that point, I kinda feel sorry for this future husband to deal with this very real health problem on my end :( )
Thank you for the freedom IN MARRIAGE Lord!
Brother, thanks for tackling the tough issues.
My wife and I are in a 2nd marriage for both of us. Our first spouses both cheated on us in the first marriages. When we got married 32 years ago, we made sure that our first commitment was to God, and our second commitment was to each other. Sure, there's been difficult times, especially with me because I fell into the porn trap too.
And it is a trap set by Satan himself to mess up our lives. God has taken that from me...(it took years), but now with us later in life, the sex is still incredible, yes, in our 60's! (That should gross a few people out), but when you've taken care of yourselves, you can still, take care of business. 😄👍🙏🙏🙏
God's provisions are amazing.
I can relate so much to this brother. Also on my second marriage and both my wife and I experience the same thing as you and your life. Leaving cheaters made it extremely difficult for us to finally get married again. However after we did our sex life completely changed for the better. I can't explain how much better it feels to make love then just satisfy your desires. Also Im glad to hear that you overcame your p*** addiction, not an easy one who overcome. I can't imagine how anyone could overcome it without the help of God. 🙏
Aww sex at 60 with loving partner sounds beautiful, nothing gross about a healthy relationship. Love hearing how you found each other and choose to continually commit. Thankyou for sharing
In your 60s? That’s insane. Happy for u 2 for real
I thank God for you. Thank you for this message. Thank you for breaking it down and opening my mind to the truth, for clearing up these misconceptions. God bless you as you continue to do his work.
This is absolutely helpful!! Ty! 🙌🏼❤️🔥🙌🏼
Going to push back on one thing, that whole exploring thing…. Don’t extrapolate to far. The body was made for each part to have a specific function… don’t abuse it, as in use areas not meant for that function.
I’m a single man, outside, in my yard, building a birdhouse, listening to this on my Bluetooth Speaker. 🤣😂🤣
Yknow I disagree with our brother Allen more often than not, but I really appreciate the openness and honesty with which he appreciates this topic. I see too many Christians that avoid this topic because of taboo and just aren’t equipped to talk and teach about it, and probably don’t have a healthy interaction in their own lives, despite how often in the Bible holy sex is described as beautiful, fun, and even willed from God Himself. A thing does not become bad simply from irresponsible engagement with it, and I appreciate the respect given in engagement with this topic a lot here.
Just got married. This is right on time 👏
Congratulations I hope god make y’all strong together
Never getting married or having kids I'm not messing my life up.
Then why are you here watching this video? @@josecontreras2997 In Genesis, God tells us it is not good to be alone. You see marriage as a messed up life you're going to miss out on life altogether. That's sad.
@@josecontreras2997one with their own opinions …..
@@josecontreras2997same I don’t mind dating someone forever but I don’t want to waste money on “happiness”
This is a very important topic, Thank you Pastor Allen. God bless you!
What's known don't need to be explained........when you are one with your spouse in the Spirit you will make love that is so good you don't even need romantic music to play!
SO TRUE
I missed this channel
Feels good to be back 😁
One of the reasons I agree marriage is not the solution to lust problems or sex addiction is what if something during marriage, especially early on, that person permanently loses physical ability to be intimate?
Can you handle the concept that there is much more leg work and purpose in marriage that is higher than sex?
Thank you Allen, I needed to hear this. Praise God!
That first one is often stated but WILDLY overrated. No, believe it or not, getting married and having a healthy way to satisfy your sexual desires/needs will in fact help with your lust. I’ve had too many conversations with young married couples to believe otherwise. It is FAR easier for someone to not click on the porn link (or click off of it when it pops up, because it DOES just pop up at times) if they can just go have sex with their spouse.
I look at it this way. A single guy is scrolling through social media online at night in his house/apartment by himself. At the same time a married man is scrolling through social media in his house/apartment and it’s only himself and his wife there. Both have a pop-up open up for an adult website. Who has the higher/better chance of not clicking on the link? Obviously the married guy because he has a healthy release for his sexual desires, whereas the single guy doesn’t. Is it a cure? No! But it is a HUGE aid.
I agree.
This is actually quite sound, biblically. It is not that marriage cures lustfulness, but it does help in being sexually pure. This is one Paul's arguments FOR marriage in 1 Cor 7. It doesn't make you pure, but it does help with purity.
Ya I never got that. It’s not that it couldn’t still be a problem later, but having _any_ healthy outlet compared to literally nothing is still better. I mean, the main tip suggested if you’re struggling with lust… is get married sooner. What kind of advice is that? The only other one is devote yourself to God (basically be more active in church duties). Which I guess is something, but most advice is “don’t do it” which doesn’t solve anything because it’s not an action.
Plus, part of the reason it becomes a problem is the guilt cycle. This push and pull of having a desire, wanting to satisfy it, and feeling guilty if you do or agitated if you don’t. And worrying if this unhealthy method is your only outlet. When you can do it guilt free (i.e. marital sex), all of those fears and concerns are washed away. Ironically, I wouldn’t be surprised if you think about sex _less_ after getting married (okay, maybe a few months in, lol) than if you had a problem with lust beforehand. Because now your mind isn’t pre-occupied, and every time you have the desire you don’t have to wrestle with the idea of “I shouldn’t” and “this might be the only way I experience this”.
Obviously you’re not going to have sex every time one of you is interested, but you have a ton of sexual and non-sexual options compared to being single. Even if you’re not married you could at least cuddle or kiss or something. You can’t exactly cuddle yourself, and hugging a pillow is just going to feel pathetic. People might realize lust is “bad”, and say “you shouldn’t rush into a relationship” or “fix yourself before entering a relationship” as advice for singles, but they never followed that themselves and still had fine relationships. One of those phrases that sounds good, but very rarely realistic, unless it’s something really serious like a hardcore drug problem.
Didn’t Allan still have this problem up to getting married? As in, he was still struggling even in his relationship? Which means he didn’t “solve” it before dating his girlfriend (now wife). So he’d be a hypocrite giving that advice (wait until it’s resolved before dating). Anytime you focus on being “perfect” in some area before doing X, almost always results in you never doing that. There’s too much pressure.
I think a _better_ phrase/advice is, “start recovery before getting into a romantic relationship”. It shows you’re serious about changing (and you should wait some amount of time), but removes the pressure of waiting until you’re perfect. Because no one is perfect in correcting all their sins, but that doesn’t stop us from getting married. Swearing is a sin. Imagine you waited until you stopped swearing (or saying any insults/being passive-aggressive) until marriage. That is still sin, yet easily excused. Obviously they’re not 1:1 problems, but point being no one’s perfect in all areas, yet that doesn’t stop people from getting married anyway.
You shouldn’t rely on them, but a partner _can_ help you with problems, which is what people ignore and don’t realize the hypocrisy of saying “fix yourself before entering a romantic relationship” but then suggest getting friends… which is just another form of a relationship. Relationships with people help, some just help in different/more ways than others. Getting friends isn’t going to help. You’re not gonna be kissing and cuddling them as ways to stave off/satiate your lust, lol.
@@zachw755 EXACTLY!!! In fact, it’s one of the arguments I’ve started making with the kids I lead in youth group about why they should prioritize marriage and starting a family over a career and college and all. Don’t put yourself into situations that will increase your temptation without giving yourself an easy out. Marriage is an easy out for sexual temptation, period. It’s not a cure, but quite frankly, there is no cure this side of glory. Temptation will always be there. Mitigating it as much as possible and putting ourselves in good scenarios is the best we can do
@@mrshmuga9 somewhere along the line the Church as deprioritize marriage, especially marriage for biblical reasons. Paul literally says that if you struggle with lust or sexual immorality, get married. He said it’s better to marry than to “burn with passion”. I don’t know about Allen, but to me, “burn with passion” sure sounds a lot like list and sexual immorality that is running rampant in culture (and the church) today. So, if Paul is saying “hey, if you’re struggling, get married” and Alan is saying “don’t get married until you don’t struggle anymore”, I’ll stick with the one we consider scripture.
Umm can we give him applause for the quality in this video, sheeesh!! Talk about professional! God bless!!
I got a question for y'all. Preachers always say that sex off-marriage and "self-pleasuring" are forbidden, if you don't mind my saying, but... How do you manage that desire when you're single?
I agree....and in marriage one partner might not want sex that often.... I think self pleasure is better than having an affair. You get married to have sex, then you have GREAT sex but one's desire is higher... What do you do then? You communicate, say how you feel but the spouse keeps rejecting your sexual advances. This is devastating 😢.
First of all, preachers are saying just what God said.
Second, God gave us the power of self control, we are not animals that don’t have control over our instincts and desires.
Third, If you wish to do something good and ask for help, God will help you to do what seems to be impossible, possible.
Ask God to take away the desire. I had the same problem until I said if I cannot act on my desires Lord just take them away. Going on six years abstinent and almost half of that no masturbation.
I'm really struggling with masturbation right now as an unmarried guy, so can y'all pray for me? But yeah, I've found that if I miss even one day of prayer with the Lord, my chances of giving into this sin skyrocket. When my desire for intimacy is fulfilled in the Lord, I have nearly unending strength. So prayer is the key for me.
@@Ash-gz9co I've done that too.... I'm still young and married, but in a sexless marriage with a wonderful husband, who just is not sexually that into me....since we got married 27 years ago.... it's not easy living like this and to be fair I think the Almighty is more concerned with your heart and how you treat your spouse and the people around you than the occasional slip.... God bless you ✝️
‘…In Marriage! ‘ love the sound of that.
You aware on a roll with these videos Brother Allen! 👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿 This video was EXCELLENT! A lot of the things you spoke about in this video have personal significance to me. I’m not sure why I’m watching this video now though lol😅 since I’m going through a separation from my husband right now. But, I still found it helpful and useful. Thank you so much!❤
This should be taught in all churches.
When Allen said the “O” stands for “openness”….
Yeah. That could have gone a different way.. .😊
The fact that this mostly partains to marriage came out of left field for me 😳😳 But, great video regardless ✋✋😌😌
Faith over everything! Even as I constantly struggle to pay my rent. And I constantly struggle to provide groceries for my children! I trust you Lord! I’m choosing to keep faith. Walking with faith is the most important thing us christian’s must do. That’s why love compassion and prayers are all we truly need. Please keep me in your prayers. As Christians it’s vital to trust God no matter what we are facing. I want to give up so bad! But God won’t allow me because he is our only strength in this world. As a single mom, things are tough on me. My husband passed years ago. I feel so alone. Both of my sons are autistic and non verbal. I’m constantly struggling to provide for my boys. I’m overwhelmed and so ashamed. Father God hear my prayers. My faith in you is strong! Even though I’m constantly in fear of losing my home. I have faith a miracle is on the way! Faith over fear! ❤
Please don't feel ashamed, you have absolutely nothing to be ashamed about. If you ever do then go into your closet or a private area and confess it to God. DON'T GIVE UP, EVER. Everything you're going through is making your faith stronger so you're prepared to face what's really coming to this country. You ARE NOT alone.
I pray our Heavenly Father God visits you sister ❤ turn to the scriptures and begin praying the word of God over your life, your sons and everything else. I know it’s not easy but please choose to put your full trust and faith in God’s word and believe without a shadow of a doubt that He who created you will help you ❤. I pray for your sons that In Jesus Christ name God will be their refuge🙏🏾
I'm a single man myself. God has called me to celibacy as well. It's hard sometimes tough, it would be nice to have a woman that way sometimes. But i do want it to be with my wife and wife only
my wife lost it 100% after 3kids. I'm getting close to 90%... Lord save us.
Thank you for consistently being us such important content! I appreciate your viewpoint so much! 👏🏽👏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽
Man! Ok Allen you won the weight lost contest! I see you Bro!😂 I understand you partnered with Covenant Eyes and thats fine but what about covenant refrigerators😭😭😭🤣🤣🤣. I need to loose weight. Awesome video as usual ❤
Lol
O.m.G this truly so informative, i listen to mr Parr always trust me this one need much more publicity the Lord bless you and your family always 🙏🙏.
Remember, my fellow brothers and sisters, that freedom from lust has already been won by Jesus. We should not be crying out to be set free, because we are already free. All we need to do is choose the freedom that has been won for us.
Your advice is very correct and it should be like that but most of the time we are unable to do that and we men look for short cuts which sometimes bring trouble in our marriage and start blame shifting.
Thank you for this video Brother Allen.
Wow I’m so glad I ran into your TH-cam just few mins ago because a dude was going back and forth with me about sex not being a sin 🤦🏾♀️🤦🏾♀️ this generation is so lost I’m so glad I am found
Sex in Marriage? What's that? Do people have sex after marriage?
This video blessed my marriage!
If you are reading this, you are amazing and I want to let you know, no matter how hard your trials may be, that Jesus is there for you. ❤️✝️
*Romans 8:33-34 - “ Who can accuse the people God has chosen? No one! God is the one who makes them right. Who can say that God’s people are guilty? No one! Christ Jesus died for us, but that is not all. He was also raised from death.”* ☺️
I hope you have a good day! ⭐️😎🥰
Thanks for posting this.
Thanks for being mature with this Allen most congregations avoid the conversation period.
Thank you for this video....I honestly thought I was crazy for feeling self sex is not good...my friends try to tell me it's normal and there's nothing wrong with making yourself feel good...
Of course it is not good, God did not intend sexuality to be used selfishly.
@NarnianLady why of course?
what do you mean self sex? masturbation is not good.
If you're talking about masturbation then it's wrong
Where in the Bible does it say masturbation is wrong?
I agree with this video, but is missing one thing…the prohibition of anal sex. It is implied in Scripture as forbidden. It is an exit-only and can lead to serious medical issues.
Thank you for mentioning this and Id like a video on the subject BECAUSE as a widowed woman in the dating world, I have ran across a couple of potential boyfriends and in "discussions" I descovered that they expected anal sex from a woman if involved with her romantically. When I expressed my disapproval and complete resistance to the idea and backed it up by saying "this is ungodly, demeaning and something that I will never do" I got loads of pushback and even some attempted manipulation tactics. Both potential candidates claimed to be Christian men and both tried to twist my thinking. Neither are in my life. The more I've talked among lady friends I have descoverd that anal sex seems to be a trending thing that more people are accepting as "normal and natural" . I think it's sick and evil.
I agree, not on.....its sodomy and off limits
I agree. It's an outty not an inny
I’m sorry sisters, first let me say I have never engaged in anal sex. However I really need the scripture that paints this as ungodly, where does it say that this is sexual immorality. I’m serious.
@@deloresmatt8643 It's a topic that needs some clarification I will agree, I hope he makes a video on it as it is definate that a Vjj HAS a purpose for sexual intercourse as well as reproduction, but a butthole is connected to our colon and digestive system...for the simple purpose of releasing waste and that is all. These are completely opposite functions, completely different organs altogether with different purposes and contain different bacteria's. Also, rectal bacteria transfered into the Vjj can cause serious infections.
* I know an ER nurse who told me many stories about heterosexual couples AND gay men who through her experiences in the ER, having had to treat serious crisis regarding anal sex, said it can cause permanent damage to the rectum... and MUCH MORE. ( trying not to be graphic) She even said " sex is not what this part of the body is meant for" So, regardless of it being consensual between married couoles, etc. It's BIOLOGICAL purpose was NEVER meant for sex. It's a butthole. This leads me to believe that there's a very STRONG probability that its NOT natural nor God's purpose to be used as such a vessel.
Set your minds on the heavenly above not on earthly affections.📖
THIS BOOK WILL KEEP YOU FROM SIN
Or
SIN WILL KEEP YOU FROM THIS BOOK
Colossians 3:2 👑
“Set your affection on things above, not on things on the earth.”
Where are the couples that actually have good sex lives?
I am a 21 year old Christian and have always been walking with God but the more I see information and stats on sex in marriage the more I get discouraged. Most couples don't have healthy sex lives even if they are the most faithful christians you can find and that is such a turn off.
Sex in marriage seems like such a complicated thing that is so prone to going wrong no matter what you do.
Most women are not satisfied in bed, many couples stay together but never prioritize intimacy.
How can this be the case when we are in Christ? Aren't we supposed to be the primary example for unbelievers?
A lot of professing Christian couples don't have good sex lives because traditional Christianity has absolutely failed them in many departments, especially when it comes to the subject of sex. They have been told that married couples were to only have sex for the sake of reproducing. This idea is proved demonstrably false in Paul's letters where he teaches by the authority of God in 1 Cor. 7 that they can make love without intending to reproduce.