My grandma would always tell me that she would be bi if she was younger and I always said she could still be bi regardless of who she's married to. She was so sweet and flabbergasted over the thought of being bi.
7:32 This was literally my mum when I came out as asexual “I felt the exact same way at your age (18) Everyone feels this way” To the point she got a gay boyfriend (who needed a cover at the time) just to avoid it 😭 She said “it was great! I got to be close to someone and had an excuse to hold hands and be close, but didn’t want to have sex with me!” I love her 💀
Yeah, speaking as an ace Gen Xer, when I was young I just assumed that everyone around me was only pretending to be obsessed with sex all the time because movies and TV were telling them they should be.
@@ttintagelI’m a gen z kid, and also assumed it was how everybody felt. A while ago I thought it was the fact that I was too young to experience those feelings. Then I got to high school without wanting to so much as kids someone, asked my younger sister about it, and she was instantly weirded out and surprised. I feel like it’s a mix of me being trans and me being on the ace spectrum- I am uncomfortable with my body so I feel sex repulsed but also just don’t experience sexual feelings.
So sad how these people have been so normalised to everything, they don’t even think to consider that they could be different. They just think “well nobody has said anything about it so everyone must be the same”
I used to pretend to pretend to be gay to get girls so guys would think I was dumb instead of gay when I just wanted to hang out with girls because I don't like straight guys because I'm demi and straight men don't have souls. Jkz, no one has a soul.
@@cosmicflowchart Even more interesting thing is that even in Greek, they use the word Lesbian to describe gay women, not just people who live on the island. So you could be a lesbian Lesbian or a lesbian Athenian. Which makes that one meme "I'm lesbian/I thought you were American" actually make sense.
Yeah, I was totally one of those GenXers who thought you could choose your sexuality because I was suppressing my attractions to women. Fast forward to age 48 when I finally figured out that I'm bisexual. Sorry heteronormativity, I saw around you (finally!)
A bit older Gen X. Out of closet as lesbian/bi over 30 years ago, but it took me til I was about 48/49 to realize I am also Grey Ace Demi. ❤ We didn't have a lot of awareness or support when we were younger.
I'm in a similar boat, but not so much that you could choose - rather that a lack of bi representation when I was younger made it not a thing so when I knew I was attracted to men, I must be straight even though women are so pretty and I wanted to be close to them too 😂 it took me a long time to come to terms with it because of bi erasure and the few examples of representation where all either evil or promiscuous (Chasing Amy and Cruel Intentions spring to mind) which didn't line up with my sense of self (especially considering I'm grey/demi sexual on top of being bi). Add in a marriage at a young age (married @ 20 - still together now over 20 years later) that made discussing attraction women seem pointless for a long time. Now I embrace it because if it can help one other person understand who they are sooner and save some angst, it's worth it.
"I see now that the circumstances of one's birth are irrelevant. It is what you do with the gift of life that determines who you are." - Mewtwo says trans rights
Mom tries to invalidate daughter’s lesbianism-stumbles-accidentally comes out of the closet. Poor mom. You can’t invalidate my sexuality now mom!!!! Fucking classic.
@Kimmie6772 I had almost the same experience with my mom. She even told me about a girl she had "something" with (but refused to call it a relationship) when she was in her teens. Her dad really f-ed with her head with his homophobia. To this day she's accepting of gay men but not gay/bi women. The internalized biphobia and misogyny is difficult to have patience with. I've never introduced a girlfriend to my family and it makes me sad.
I'm currently part of a DnD kinda campaign with a very conservative friend. And the sexual tension that gets generated between her male character and my own is the most hilarious thing ever. She can't see it. The other (conservative) players can't see it. But my husband and I are just quietly dying every session.
In every campagin I've ever played in, the guys assumed ALL my female characters were gay because I didnt want to sleep with any of their male characters. I didnt have the labels for Aro/Ace back then so I just told them, I don't care, I'm not interested so I got also labelled as having mentally ill characters and then asked why cant you play a NORMAL female character? I AM playing a NORMAL female character. This is my NORMAL! It's you guys that seem to have an undiagnosed nymphomania complex in your characters.
@@starscreamthecruel8026 I don't think I've ever played a campaign where any of my characters were attracted to my friends characters. That would be too weird! Even if it's role play I think it's too personal lol. Definitely odd that your friends want your character to have sex with theirs!
@@oliverg6864 I wasnt attracted but because I was the only FEMALE in the group, a lot of them figured that was my job in the story. The DM would laugh at the hilarious and often epic fails, these guys went into trying to court my character because why else was she adventuring? She's looking for a partner right? My stalker was also part of said group and no matter WHAT race I played, his elf(he ONLY ever played elves) would come onto her. I was petitioning for the DM to let me play a race that was ugly as HELL to see if he would still chase me, when unfortunately the game broke up due to internal politics. The stalker ran his own sci fi campagin and the balked when I created my own arachnid race, within his rules. He told me I had to have a humanoid form aswell as my true form(making them sorta like werespiders) else I'd be stuck with the ship constantly and then freaked when said humanoid form had NO BOOBS or nipples(not mammal remember?), was covered in body hair and still had eight eyes. He said, she was horrific. Not to male spiders she isnt, I said. In short, my alien non mammalian female HAD to look attractive by HIS human standards to be let into the game. I said, dont worry, she'll wear a cloak so most people wont see what she looks like but he flat out refused. So I picked a Tzin from Alternity but he wouldnt let me bring the race in at its actual height which he thought was about 3inches, I think its 1ft or something. He told me to pick another reptile or dinosaur for their appearance. So I picked a veliocraptor and then watched him try to figure out how to have a male NPC of said race, to try and court me YET again.
There's a really funny joke by a female comic, and she's talking about how she likes food more than sex. So she brings home a burger, and it's really good, and her roommate asks her if she had a guy over last night, because of the sound she was making. She was too embarrassed to tell the truth, but did admit that she did not have A guy over, she had five guys
"If you buy a guy flowers he will love you forever" = actual facts. I (fem) bought a guy flowers and it broke my heart how surprised and happy he was. Guys like little pretty things too!
As a person who has lived for way most of my life as a guy I can attest. They really do get really surprised and happy. While I don't think of myself as a guy anymore, I am pretty sure that I used to be, and I can say; I still have a rose on my shelf from two years ago, given to me by a classmate when I graduated high school. If that man gave me a call, I would get up at 2 am to help him out, even if we have only spoken once since then.
@@FrozEnbyWolf150 …unless the guy is me. My now-husband gave me a spider-plant once. I watered it -every day- _[edit]_ correctly, never overwatering it … and I still managed to kill it. We have no idea how. I just seem to have a black-thumb. Plants take one look at me and commit unaliving just to save everyone the time.
8:55 my dad (gen x) once got drunk and described himself as 'omnivorus' with his sexuality and said "your mother could be a man i wouldn't mind. shes the one person" he was at the time getting it conflated that bisexuality meant being non monogamous and id grow out of it. but i think about that all the time that he cluelessly kinda said hes pansexual
My favourite colour is definitely 🌈. Also, as a borderline gen X person here, I genuinely didn't understand being bi was an option before my 20s. I specifically remember rationalizing as a confused teenager that I can't be lesbian because I had a crush on a guy, so I had to be straight. And some girls and certain female actresses just were really fascinating. That's the 90s and self-denial in a small town for ya.
Yeah, same. Early Millenial here. Thought it was a girl thing to think other girls are hot and kiss better because I also was into guys. Took me until my early thirties to realize IT'S A BI THING. That's what bi erasure does! And my first chrush was my very female baby sitter when I was about 8. Also, Haruka Tenno from Sailor Moon.
18:00 Okay, [cis] Internet Uncle-Gay🏳🌈 here again to quote one of my favorite Ace icons: "Yes, I can find people attractive. Just because I find a sunset beautiful doesn't mean I wanna fvck it." 😆
I think that‘s one of the perks of being gay. Since 90% of people are „straight“ one learns pretty quickly that just because it looks nice, doesn’t mean that you can f*ck it. So one can just look at beautiful people without being sexually attracted. Something Heterosexuals i feel struggle a lot more with.
@@The_real_Arovor I think we also should factor in how str8 dudes are socialized. They have this sense of entitlement regarding sex, especially with how women are portrayed as property. The combination promotes thinking with your crotch instead of with your brain. The thing is, we aren't free of that in gay space, either. How many gay men take, "I wouldn't want to fsck that," and leap to, "Has no worth as a human being"? Quite a few, sadly. It's what's behind the misogyny among gay men. It drives transphobia against gay trans men. We ain't so pure, I'm sorry to say
@@casychapin4647 "Red" from the "Overly-Sarcastic Productions" channel. At least, _I think_ I heard this from her. It could've been from someplace else … Internet Uncle-Gay🏳🌈 is gettin' old, and his memory's gettin' flaky, yo!
When I came out as non-binary, my stepdad was very confused. As a cis man, he claims "everyone" feels like a woman sometimes, a man sometimes, nothing to worry about! "Some days I feel like a woman, some days like a man, that's just life!" Me, being more of an agender non-binary, was like "Eh, I don't experience that at all. Ever heard of gender fluid?" but no, he identifies as a cis man, and is convinced this is how everyone experiences life. I'm definitely not gonna tell anyone else how to identify, if he feels like a cis man then that's his experience of being a cis man I guess, but it's a bit annoying when it's used to invalidate my identity.
On the one with the girlfriend coming out as trans and becoming the boyfriend, it gets very weird when trying to tell a story about someone who later transitioned, even when you try to gender them correctly. I actually have a personal anecdote about this topic that I would like to share. For context, I am a gay cisgender man. Recently, a friend (NB) was asking for advice on what to do in a situation where they found themself developing feelings for a friend they weren't sure would reciprocate. I related to them a story of my experience being in a similar situation with an old college friend who at the time presented as male and as far as I knew was a straight man, but later came out as a bisexual trans woman. When telling my current friend the story, I made sure not to misgender the old friend and used her chosen name and she/her pronouns. Even though it was accurate to call her a woman, it felt very weird to me to refer to myself being attracted to *her*. I have never been attracted to women, so telling this story was just odd. I won't presume, but like to imagine that this was a taste of what it feels like for someone to have gender dysphoria.
Yeah! As a Trans guy it's exactly like that, at least for me. The only difference is that the gendering feels weird in regards to myself, instead of a romantic interest of mine.
I have a similar problem. My one biological sibling is trans, but of course she wasn't when we were growing up together. So I have a lot of stories of my then-brother doing things like playing dressup and allowing my friends and I to put makeup on him and even me going with him to boyscouts- and for all those stories it's really important that I describe him as he was back then- a brother, male, he/him pronouns. It gets confusing when talking about her as she is now and comparing how the relationship between us has changed without the very important life event of her coming out as trans. I tried asking some trans friends of mine and got mixed answers as to whether this was okay or if I was "outing" my sister. My solution? I asked her in person how I should go about it. She confirmed that the way I had been referring to her past self was fine. Incidentally, her husband is also trans and very much agreed. In general, I'd say it's best to use the name and pronouns of the person as they are now, but if the change in gender expression is important to the story (or the meme, as in the video) then it's okay to use the old name and pronouns. But it's different for each person, so of course be willing to change that if someone expresses discomfort with it.
I have a similar situation about my ex. They're NB today but it's VERY complicated to talk gender-neutral in French. And when we were together they were still officially identifying as a man. So I asked them if it was okay to refer to them in the masculine form when talking in French about their past self. They said it was fine btw =) Not sure but I believe it's a much less loaded topic for enbies than for binary trans peeps. But it might be my agender lense.
@@EmelieWaldken People want to talk about how Anglo-Saxon culture is extremely regressive, which it mostly is, but at least they have language for non-binary people. And they have words for the rest of the language, because that happens
8:10 The other day, my mom said something I haven't heard her say as a teenager: "When your sexuality is developing you can be attracted to anyone." She said this in response to me trying to tell her that my lesbian and bi friends didn't choose their sexuality by saying, "Well, you're attracted to men. You can't make yourself be attracted to woman." I didn't pick up on it as a teenager (probably because I'm a 2 on the Kinsey Scale), but boy howdy does she have some suppression and mental gymnastics.
i do think that's true for some ppl, but you can also discover yr permanent identity at any time. also it doesn't make you less real if it changes later.
i also think you can be sexually bi or pan but monoromantic then validly ID as gay or straight. i'm sort of the opposite of that, i'm panromantic but homosexual and i ID as lesbian
that is kinda true for many people, but that's also why people often say a huge portion of people is bi or would at least not be against intercourse with the same gender and such. I was definitely way gayer as a teen lmao. I still struggle with identifying as bi, even though I had lesbian experiences as a teen. Because I did indeed kinda "grow out of it", in a way. But that doesn't mean I am super hetero lol clearly I used to have a thing for women. Just not currently, maybe. But tbh, I got over men aswell. For several years now, in my late twenties, I am generally not interested in having intercourse with anyone anymore. Maybe that will change again. I guess moral of the story is, your mom is not wrong, but attraction changing over your years of life doesn't invalidate any of those feelings and experiences. But it might also mean that you don't have to strictly adhere to one label. I personally don't like any of the gender or sexuality labels for myself. I just don't really care to label myself because I have changed over the course of life and I just don't care. If there's some day someone coming along who I like, then so be it. I can't predict who or if I will like someone again.
As a 53 year old woman... I did not know bi sexual was a thing until about 5 years ago. I thought you were gay or you were straight. It was just the way I was raised. My parents were not homophobic at all. My mom had a gay couple friend who came over a lot. I'm not sure my parents knew that bi existed either. The internet has really opened my eyes. It explains so much about my husband and myself. We have both been attracted to the same gender (Mila was my crush too!) but we are still happily married for 30 years. I just thought we both appreciated the beauty of human bodies.. but maybe we are bi. I don't know. My oldest son doesn't label himself (he does identify as male) but he dates males and females. I'm glad his world is more open than ours was. I enjoy watching your channel. Yes. Gen X is sandwiched between boomers and millennials. I"m gen x
My mom legit told me when I came out "It is a choice. I can find women attractive and know that they have the same parts and would know what to do, but I made a choice to love and marry your father". Flash forward about a decade and I have to remind her that she "chose to love and marry my father" and they both refuse to file for divorce.
“In & Out” is such a cute movie! Please watch it! You can’t pass up seeing Tom Seleck snogging another guy… it is a thing of beauty ❤ totally worth watching. Yes mostly a “straight” cast with queerness being the main focus of the plot, but it’s so funny and tasteful done with the typical ‘90s stereotype of discovering identity late in life… I don’t know how to explain it just watch it! 😂
Agreed, I love that movie! That and To Wong Foo are the cutest damn queer themed movies of the 90s, in that while they are dated now, they didn't feel mean-spirited at the time and they still don't now, IMO.
@@larkylark1 Patrick Swayze in drag is the best thing ever 🤩 he was such a symbol of machismo in his time but seeing him portray a Queen slapped toxic masculinity hard.
Yes! Both are great movies. There was a more indi one “Defying Gravity” that was my favorite, though a real tear jerker. One thing though, I feel old, as In & Out, Beautiful Thing, and Queer as Folk were my “coming of age” shows. Now they’re all about 20 years old.
16:10 - There is a deleted scene from “Back to the Future” where Marty McFly is worried that kissing his 17 year-old mother (in 1955) would “make him gay”, to which Doc Brown replies: “Why shouldn't you be happy?”, totally not getting the 1985 meaning Marty implied. - I think this is the same thing that happened here: This #16 issue of “Betty and Me” is from 1968, when the sexual connotation hadn't yet developed, or at least wasn't as widespread. That's language change, everybody.
@@nobodycares5050that was the “joke”, I’m sure. Being gay was the big scary - particularly in the early 80s when the AIDS epidemic was being publicised as a disease mostly centred on the homosexual community.
8:40 this was my case for the longest time, I had a very negative view on trans and nb ppl because I found that they were just being dramatic, causing a fuss, that they were all balled up over nothing. That was until, a friend of mine came out as a Demi-girl. Seeing as they were my friend I listened to their story, at the time wanting to help them out of their madness, and I told them “everyone feels that way” they looked at me long and heard, it turns out that everyone does in fact not feel that way, my gender is very much not cis, and I haven’t been happier since realising that I’m nonbinary
7:32 My mum recently came out to me and it meant the world ❤️ She shared a story about her and her first girlfriend getting beat up outside a bar for being together which broke my heart. I love her so much and I’m touched she shared it with me
As someone with a parent who said the “all girls have been attracted to a women once, but they turn out straight” and it was used to put me in the straight box because I “liked” guys before so that means I’m only straight (I’m not 100% yet but I say aro or queer) gotta love parents and also she doesn’t believe it’s possible to be bi (pan doesn’t exist for her) it’s either your straight or gay 😔
💜 (for years I always said it was blue, cause I think I thought it was considered more masculine. I do really like blue still, I just really love purple)
So my mom is gen x and always said the "oh everyone finds everyone attractive a bit" she recently came out as bisexual at 50 after finally realizing it. I was like "that's awesome! But yeah obviously lol" She wasn't homophobic she just honestly thought everyone was like her. Except for a few ppl who were fully straight or gay.
TARDIS blue Also I was raving about how attractive Trevor Noah is and my straight cis manly man brother looks at me with big round eyes "OMG I KNOW RIGHT?" His wife was right there. Gotta love a secure dude.
7:31 I do suspect there are loads of bisexuals in the older generations that think "everyone" feels that way, but it's important to remember that aesthetic attraction doesn't necessarily imply sexual attraction. They absolutely can go together, and I think this person's mom means it that way! But, you know, let people tell their homies that they look good without assuming they're gay.
They still exist, lol. Had someone tell me, a lesbian, that they "turned straight" after being bisexual. They then proceeded to tell me that sexuality is a choice.
One should also keep in mind that attraction is a spectrum. You might be a type 1 on the Kinsey scale, almost all the way to the completely heterosexual pole but just not quite. Meaning you have enough same sex attraction to be admiring but not enough to wanna tap that. According to Kinsey's completely heterosexual and completely homosexual people were quite a bit rarer that people thought back then but they kept those results close to their chest to not dilute the political power of the gay liberation movement.
9:55 it’s not staging a love story! It’s about bumping into someone on the street and having an entire full blown romantic sequence with them flash through your mind out of absolutely nowhere… honestly relatable
I should point out that wishing you were something could be a sign that you are, or that you're at least questioning or curious. I'm basing this on my own experiences as a trans "ally" who wished I was nonbinary several years ago.
Like these other commenters, I can't assign your sexuality for you, but I _can_ say that up until about 2 months ago, I used to say those *exact* words all the time. Around new years I came to the realisation that: surprise! I'm bi Just a little something to think about 😉
Big agree on retroactively misgendering being uncomfortable. My mum is like “well you were a girl back then!” And I cringe every time (she’s trying tho)
In & Out is a really good movie it came out (lol) in the late 80s or 90s and it’s about a gay teacher realizing he’s gay and the backlash (and eventual acceptance I think?) he gets from the community. It’s definitely kid appropriate
In reference to the Lesbian Feta: there is a real Greek island called Lesbos, and I believe the feta was either made there, or made in that style, which I assume was the original intention of the sign XD
When I first came out as bisexual [now identifying as pansexual & nonbinary], my Mom told my Grandpa. Apparently, his response was 'everyone is bisexual'. Edit: I've been going through your videos & saw the one where you came across 'The Bisexual Manifesto', which I also hadn't heard of, and from that I realize both bisexual & pansexual fit for me. Younger me had learned that bisexual meant binary attraction.
As a young boy 50+ years ago, I could not work out how anybody, man or woman, could find men attractive, I just never believed it, women were beautiful, men weren't. I'm 65 now and I realised a few years back that I'm gynosexual and agender or gender fluid. From my teens to my mid thirties I was very androgynous, my work allowed me to dress as I please and I presented feminine and masculine on a whim, my partners were cis women although I could have potentially had consenting relationships with anybody who was feminine. I don't mind how femininity is packaged, cis, trans, feme-man, (I'm a bit old for a femeboy!) As long as I'm attracted. With 2 of my relationships at that androgynous point in my life, I already had quite an established wardrobe and was always adding more as my work involved many trips to the West End London, (in fact I lived in North London for one of the relationships in the 80s,) they both used to raid my wardrobe if we were going out to an event or party; I never minded sharing clothes with partners and some friends that were women. Now I'm retired in the countryside, I do more practical stuff in my garden and workshop, I just dress in a hoodie, tee-shirt, sweat pants, and trainers, sort of unisexual and I spend a fraction of what I used to on hand made one off designer items. My identity is no longer so married to my appearance, well a little perhaps, I still have shoulder length hair and I do use Alice bands! I'm so glad the internet provides the young now with so much more information, I was often harassed by gay men when I was in my teens and early 20s, yet I knew I wasn't gay, but at least I also was able to attract some great girlfriends. My feminine clothes never put women off me (I was never the frilly transvestite type, I looked more like a present day yoga girl but with a stretchy minidress or skirt over my leotard and leggings and a wonderful large hand painted sweatshirt on top), it may have even helped overall. However without an internet I was not able to find a community of people who were like me or my label, but I did end up with some very supportive friends who accepted me as I came. Society in 80s Britain was possibly more accepting of different people than today, there was more institutionalised bigotry and racism, but people generally were more accepting of LGBTQ+ people. I got some comments on the streets of London when presenting feme but not many, gays were having a hard time still, trans people did not cause any animosity and just got on with their lives, a lot of laws hadn't changed and the police and the church were always a problem but the church was slowly changing. I think it is sad that in 2024 that young trans people feel that England is not a good place to be trans, not as bad as some places obviously, but the momentum for change has been lost. Some of that is because of 14yrs of conservative rule, the country is in quite a state. Brexit was an enormous mistake, and yes I told you so. I think we are the slowest recovering (financial), member of the G7 nations after the pandemic. We have had some terrible prime ministers since the conservatives got in. However whilst Labour were offering Jeremy Corbyn as an alternative it was never going to change. However now we are seeing new levels of anti-trans thinking from the conservatives as we have a transphobic prime minister, also some of the gay and lesbian communities are not being supportive, some even rewriting the history of the Stonewall riots to justify their stance on being TERFs. Hopefully things will improve but yesterday a court ruled in favour of a Gender Critical Feminist in case of "wrongful" dismissal involving the Open University, it doesn't look good. It's almost like now gays have been more or less accepted, they need some other minority to oppress and trans people who have been quietly living their lifes for years have become the target of hate, now instead of improving their situation, institutions, government etc is trying to make their lives more difficult. It saddens me to see some, not all, but some feminists, gays and lesbians turn on trans people, it saddens me that as I reach my final years that a lot of the progress I saw made in my life time is now going backwards. Stay safe and stay fabulous folks! 💐🤫♥️🧀🥖☕🇪🇺😼🐈⬛🐕🏳️🌈🏳️⚧️🌈🇺🇦💐
7:23 Idk how big of a trend it is, but I’ve seen a few videos of people going up behind guys who have their arm around a girl and putting a bouquet in their hand, so that the girl will be surprised with flowers from her boyfriend (even though they’re not actually from him), so this is a subversion of that
7:17 i've seen videos like this before lol the idea is someone secretly gives one of the couple flowers so that they can give it to their partner, kinda helping them be romantic but this version is "nah i'm just giving them to you lmao lets kiss"
13:25 In and Out is a cute film about a teacher who gets outted by his former student's oscar acceptance speech. He's not out, even to himself. So of course he goes around denying that he's gay but...
I'm on "the spectrum," so I can be pretty persnickety about color and especially color combinations. I generally don't care for colors left of green on the spectrum, and favor the colors to the right of yellow. Violet is my favorite and has become my signature color over the years.
I definitely agree with the thing about older generations! My mom id's as straight and is homophobic, but the way I've heard her talk about some women.. Like one time at a bar she was enamored with this tall beautiful lady, was raving to her about how beautiful she was (she doesn't go up and compliment people, that was very rare) and kept bringing her up for the rest of the night. At one point later I mentioned to her one of my friends being bi and she said "oh so she's confused". I'm pan but have only told her that I'm 'not straight' bc I don't want to deal with cookware jokes. She doesn't say anything about me not being straight, besides implying she doesn't agree with it. That's her problem ✨
We did high school musical for our school play last year and I haven’t watch the movie so I didn’t expect this but at the end, it’s revealed one of the side characters had a crush on Sharpay and it implied they got together in the end but the side character was played by a girl I knew and I will forever be extremely happy about that suddenly gay moment :))))
As a boomer many homosexuals and bisexuals married and had children to keep jobs, not be arrested and lived on the down low all their lives because of things like the Stonewall uprisings and the laws. Much better today but still a long way to go.many laws were still in effect in the seventies that were used on Alan Turing.
my mom isn’t homophobic but i totally think she fell into the wrong age group trap. shes an old ass millennial like the kind that refuses to believe she is one and she told me one time “maybe if i grew up in another time i would be bisexual” and i just had to sit there like mom no thats not how it works
@@chocolate_flora You are right though that's not how it works. Actually, I think she's very young to have that kind of thinking but I guess it depends where you grow up.
Thank you Jamie, for making me laugh every day! When I see you, I see what I could be someday. You helped me realising I was trans and because of you I won‘t give up! I love all your videos, you are great!🩵🩷🤍🩷🩵
15:25 I agree, but in a specific context like this, when it’s a fictional or theoretical character and necessary for it to make sense, then I dont think its too much of a problem. Ofc that changes if its not a fictional or theoretical character or its not necessary.
14:48 While the meme is probably a fictional situation, I think we should keep in mind that it might be someone's real experiences, and that this might actually be how the people involved prefer to present the story, the telling that they feel most accurately describes their journey together.
I flip-flopped between orange and yellow, but i’ve concluded that my favorite color is, indeed, yellow. 💛 Miles “Tails” Prower from the Sonic The Hedgehog franchise was definitely a massive contributor to that, as i’ve seen him as a sort of role model, or at least a character i would cheer for. Also, yellow is bright and cheery the way i tend to see it. I considered orange for the same aforementioned reasons.
I think the video at 7:00 is a reference to a TikTok where a guy goes around secretly giving people roses for their partners. The idea of the original was to show how excited the partner would get when they received the rose
Teen pregnancy in my rural town is so prevalent they have teen health center. When my daughter was 14 I went there to fill out papers saying if she wanted condoms she could have them. At 16 they don’t need parental permission. At 13 she had two classmates become pregnant. Is wanted to make sure she had full access if she needed it. Didn’t start dating until 16 but that doesn’t mean anything. They could get the pill without permission at any age.
Good on you. Besides even if they don't have sex yet, kids need to know about sex to make sure they're not taken advantage of and can recognise abuse. I always think "honi soit qui mal y pense" (shame on who thinks ill of it) when conservatives want to prevent education on that part, like banning the book "The Perks of Being a Wallflower" as if they're deliberately trying to make child abuse easier.
For 30 years my favourite colour was always blue... Last year I wore a olive green button up with binder the first time in office and my colleagues one day one by one complimented how much olive green suited me and how confident I looked. I know it was because I dared to be myself. But ever since I really love olive green!
In & Out is the best movie ever! It has Kevin Klein and Tom Selleck! It's a teacher who is seemingly outed by one of his former students the week before his own wedding during his acceptance speech at the Oscars. It was thought up in part because of Tom Hank's acceptance speech for the movie Philadelphia in which he named two men as the finest gay Americans he knew. They thought, what if the person wasn't out? Or even realized they were gay? It's a hilarious movie and you will be dancing along by the end. It's also a happy ending which is always awesome to find.
Hi, I just helped my sister buy her first padded bras after giving her mine (not padded) a few days before. She likes them and I'm happy to help a fellow trans person.
7:31 I experienced this. I'm a member of Gen-X. I lived through the AIDS terror and seeing vigilantly murders of gay individuals on the news. I'm bi-sexual. I married a man and had children and after several years I went through my 'self-discovery'. I never cheated, my husband was very supportive. But yes, I thought being attracted to women was normal, at least I had tried to convince myself of that.
08:09 Both my parents. They thought being cishet was the only okay thing to be. Both were like “no yeah, not identifying with your gender is normal af. So’s being attracted to multiple genders. Just don’t.” And they fell in love with each other so hard that over a decade after my mom passed away, my dad said “dating after loving her would be like forcing a lion to live on grass.”
7:34 this gives the same vibes as my mum saying “just because you’re not into romance and have never liked someone doesn’t mean you’re aromantic, I was like that too until I met your dad”. we figured out she was aroace a few weeks ago.
the generational bi-erasure, particularly for women, was one of those things where it wasn't so much a personal denial; ALL the material available told us it was "normal" for women to fantasize about other women. Some books/magazines/educational films leaned hard into the difference between fantasy and actual desire (ex: not really wanting rape fantasty, BDSM, other kinks, etc.); later stuff claimed that since all the available porn/media, etc. was geared towards men, we associated sexuality with women b/c it was all that was shown. took me decades to reject all that, but even when we actively looked for the info, we were told it didn't mean what we thought it meant
7:32 I was explaining what being FTM felt like to my Mom. Then I went into what I have been told nonbinary people feel like by friends and she said "everyone feels that way!" Ope. No Mama.... no they dont. 😅🎉
I’m a trans-woman, but also someone that writes fiction with trans characters (nothing published, just personal projects) and I think the gendering of trans people’s past is complex. While the default should always to be use their chosen gender, there are some expectations. When talking about pre-transition for a character I’ll often lean towards using “…who people perceived as …” as a way to address the “accepted” gender at the time, while also not invalidating the gender they are.
18:10 Holy crap I did not expect something like this to be very relatable. When I learned about asexuality and aesthetic attraction, it made me feel not wrong for admiring another dude. The thing is, there were always dudes that I would put a tier above conventionally attractive or aesthetically pleasing, which I would realize was my type.
Im almost sure my mom would have been bi if shed been born later. When I was coming out as bi she did a lot of the “well no cuz when I was your age I loved my best friend and wanted to get married and hold hands and live together but EVERYONE DOES THAT” (Shes come a LONG way since then 💜💜💜)
15:15 completely understand this sentiment, I do think it's to each their own however. Trans people can feel any sort of way about their own transitions and can refer to their past selves with whatever. My friend prefers to refer to himself exclusively as a man retrospectively, because that's how he identified- and I sort of just go with whatever's the most convenient, but default to saying I was a girl.
@@DaniElleRF I am not sure I have ever heard of this musical (if I am embarrassing myself right now, officially I know but my late night brain is just tired 😅). I think I first realised how much I love the colour when I came home with a new vest that I had bought specially because of the colour and I realised I already had one of those in only a tiny shade darker in my wardrobe...ths knowing without knowing 🤣
When I came out as bi my mom went into the whole "everyone is a little bit bi" thing and said dismissively that she'd even found some women attractive and I'm just sitting there like ..........
My Ex has given me permission to use their old pronouns when I talk about how we fought for lesbian rights because it would be confusing if I said I thought I was a lesbian and with my ex for a decade and then called him my ex husband haha I never had a husband we were broken up long before he came out as trans.But unless I am specifically talking about that exact issue I always still call him by he or they as are his pronouns now. I think in some situations it makes sense (IF and only IF) the person has given permission.
Yeah, (I am 34; came out Dec 2022) I came out to my conservative cis Dad, and he said, "I used to think I was that way, but I'm glad I didn't go that path. I think everyone has those feelings." ... Gay people have those feelings, Dad! Better yet, I then told my mom's sister (my mom died in 2009), and my aunt says, "You're mom thought she was gay, but then she fell head over heels for a man." (My dad is her second husband.) And then my aunt said, "Sometimes I wish I were gay." I said, "You can be gay if you want!"✌️ 🌈
My Mum basically came out as Demisexual/Ace-Spec on accident via the "Everyone feels that way!" but to my FRIENDS discussing it. Then got really mad when I explained what it was later, said I'm that, and that it's possible she could be too if she feels the same. Yikes. She supports me, but can't see herself as queer at all in any way, gets mad at even the idea. She also gets mad at any of the making fun of Token or Toxic straight people jokes. Kinda sad. She always says she is progressive and supportive, but like...she's got internalized shit to work through that she needs to not project too. She is kinda tone deaf how she affects others via invalidation at times. In family therapy so things are better tho. :)
Love that Jamie brought up the "well being gay is a choice/having attraction to a gender doesn't mean you're not straight because _I_ chose to be straight" internalised homophobia thing he and Click discussed a while back
17:48 Gosling & Reynolds are the two names that insecure straight guys always say, though! Not to say they can't be legit answers, or that they wouldn't be appealing to straight guys... it's just they're the main cop-out answers, too.
I love looking at and trying to use, Red, blue and purple in my life. I find my self always being drawn to green though. Painting green, and wearing green. I think my favorite color is green.
My grandma would always tell me that she would be bi if she was younger and I always said she could still be bi regardless of who she's married to. She was so sweet and flabbergasted over the thought of being bi.
Why is this the cutest thing I’ve read all day? 😂
My work colleague, probably around 60, said IF she was bi, she would have dated Annie Lennox. I agreed lol.
7:32
This was literally my mum when I came out as asexual
“I felt the exact same way at your age (18) Everyone feels this way”
To the point she got a gay boyfriend (who needed a cover at the time) just to avoid it 😭
She said “it was great! I got to be close to someone and had an excuse to hold hands and be close, but didn’t want to have sex with me!”
I love her 💀
Yeah, speaking as an ace Gen Xer, when I was young I just assumed that everyone around me was only pretending to be obsessed with sex all the time because movies and TV were telling them they should be.
@@ttintagelI’m a gen z kid, and also assumed it was how everybody felt. A while ago I thought it was the fact that I was too young to experience those feelings. Then I got to high school without wanting to so much as kids someone, asked my younger sister about it, and she was instantly weirded out and surprised. I feel like it’s a mix of me being trans and me being on the ace spectrum- I am uncomfortable with my body so I feel sex repulsed but also just don’t experience sexual feelings.
So sad how these people have been so normalised to everything, they don’t even think to consider that they could be different. They just think “well nobody has said anything about it so everyone must be the same”
I used to pretend to pretend to be gay to get girls so guys would think I was dumb instead of gay when I just wanted to hang out with girls because I don't like straight guys because I'm demi and straight men don't have souls. Jkz, no one has a soul.
My mom basically came out as ace or demi to me when I came out as demi to her. She seriously just thought all women hated sex that much.
For anyone wondering the lesbian feta means it's feta from Lesvos/Lesbos, a region in Greece...but let's be real they knew what they were doing 💅
Specifically, Lesbos is an island - thus proving that you can indeed put a bunch of Lesbians on an island and they will live on for generations.
And the islanders have sued lesbians for usurping their name (they lost).
Also worth noting that Sappho was from Lesbos, and thus lesbian got its meaning
@@cosmicflowchart especially since most of her poetry was about her love for women
@@cosmicflowchart Even more interesting thing is that even in Greek, they use the word Lesbian to describe gay women, not just people who live on the island. So you could be a lesbian Lesbian or a lesbian Athenian.
Which makes that one meme "I'm lesbian/I thought you were American" actually make sense.
Yeah, I was totally one of those GenXers who thought you could choose your sexuality because I was suppressing my attractions to women. Fast forward to age 48 when I finally figured out that I'm bisexual. Sorry heteronormativity, I saw around you (finally!)
Congrats!
A bit older Gen X. Out of closet as lesbian/bi over 30 years ago, but it took me til I was about 48/49 to realize I am also Grey Ace Demi. ❤ We didn't have a lot of awareness or support when we were younger.
meanwhile i still haven't figured out what it means when you're attracted to the top half of men and women but either set of genitals repulses you
@@susannairisastarte5192older aspec people make me so happy :D im glad you figured yourself out
I'm in a similar boat, but not so much that you could choose - rather that a lack of bi representation when I was younger made it not a thing so when I knew I was attracted to men, I must be straight even though women are so pretty and I wanted to be close to them too 😂 it took me a long time to come to terms with it because of bi erasure and the few examples of representation where all either evil or promiscuous (Chasing Amy and Cruel Intentions spring to mind) which didn't line up with my sense of self (especially considering I'm grey/demi sexual on top of being bi). Add in a marriage at a young age (married @ 20 - still together now over 20 years later) that made discussing attraction women seem pointless for a long time. Now I embrace it because if it can help one other person understand who they are sooner and save some angst, it's worth it.
"I see now that the circumstances of one's birth are irrelevant. It is what you do with the gift of life that determines who you are."
- Mewtwo says trans rights
I quote Mewtwo all the time for this reason.
Mewtwo is my favourite philosopher.
Aw fuck, I didn't realize it could be read that way. Gonna go sob in a corner for six hours straight now-
So Mewtwo has joined blahaj's force to protect trans kids. Nice
we forgetting who his owners are? they definitely Allys or queer
Mom tries to invalidate daughter’s lesbianism-stumbles-accidentally comes out of the closet. Poor mom. You can’t invalidate my sexuality now mom!!!! Fucking classic.
Interesting senario
Same vibe as when my mom said she chose to be attracted to men. She seems happy though so eh. I'm gonna leave that button alone.
@Kimmie6772 I had almost the same experience with my mom. She even told me about a girl she had "something" with (but refused to call it a relationship) when she was in her teens. Her dad really f-ed with her head with his homophobia. To this day she's accepting of gay men but not gay/bi women. The internalized biphobia and misogyny is difficult to have patience with. I've never introduced a girlfriend to my family and it makes me sad.
I'm currently part of a DnD kinda campaign with a very conservative friend. And the sexual tension that gets generated between her male character and my own is the most hilarious thing ever. She can't see it. The other (conservative) players can't see it. But my husband and I are just quietly dying every session.
"He wanted to kiss him."
*Roll INITIATIVE*
In every campagin I've ever played in, the guys assumed ALL my female characters were gay because I didnt want to sleep with any of their male characters. I didnt have the labels for Aro/Ace back then so I just told them, I don't care, I'm not interested so I got also labelled as having mentally ill characters and then asked why cant you play a NORMAL female character? I AM playing a NORMAL female character. This is my NORMAL! It's you guys that seem to have an undiagnosed nymphomania complex in your characters.
@@starscreamthecruel8026 I don't think I've ever played a campaign where any of my characters were attracted to my friends characters. That would be too weird! Even if it's role play I think it's too personal lol. Definitely odd that your friends want your character to have sex with theirs!
@@oliverg6864 I wasnt attracted but because I was the only FEMALE in the group, a lot of them figured that was my job in the story. The DM would laugh at the hilarious and often epic fails, these guys went into trying to court my character because why else was she adventuring? She's looking for a partner right? My stalker was also part of said group and no matter WHAT race I played, his elf(he ONLY ever played elves) would come onto her. I was petitioning for the DM to let me play a race that was ugly as HELL to see if he would still chase me, when unfortunately the game broke up due to internal politics. The stalker ran his own sci fi campagin and the balked when I created my own arachnid race, within his rules. He told me I had to have a humanoid form aswell as my true form(making them sorta like werespiders) else I'd be stuck with the ship constantly and then freaked when said humanoid form had NO BOOBS or nipples(not mammal remember?), was covered in body hair and still had eight eyes. He said, she was horrific. Not to male spiders she isnt, I said. In short, my alien non mammalian female HAD to look attractive by HIS human standards to be let into the game. I said, dont worry, she'll wear a cloak so most people wont see what she looks like but he flat out refused. So I picked a Tzin from Alternity but he wouldnt let me bring the race in at its actual height which he thought was about 3inches, I think its 1ft or something. He told me to pick another reptile or dinosaur for their appearance. So I picked a veliocraptor and then watched him try to figure out how to have a male NPC of said race, to try and court me YET again.
I'd get new friends. If they really want it that bad, means they view you as a target not the character.
There's a really funny joke by a female comic, and she's talking about how she likes food more than sex. So she brings home a burger, and it's really good, and her roommate asks her if she had a guy over last night, because of the sound she was making.
She was too embarrassed to tell the truth, but did admit that she did not have A guy over, she had five guys
"If you buy a guy flowers he will love you forever" = actual facts. I (fem) bought a guy flowers and it broke my heart how surprised and happy he was. Guys like little pretty things too!
My bf loves Legos so I'm getting him lego roses that we can put together for valentines day
Protip: Give a potted plant rather than cut flowers. It will last longer. One can never have too many potted plants.
As a person who has lived for way most of my life as a guy I can attest. They really do get really surprised and happy.
While I don't think of myself as a guy anymore, I am pretty sure that I used to be, and I can say; I still have a rose on my shelf from two years ago, given to me by a classmate when I graduated high school. If that man gave me a call, I would get up at 2 am to help him out, even if we have only spoken once since then.
@hunt3rm4n72 oh my God that's cute 😭
@@FrozEnbyWolf150 …unless the guy is me. My now-husband gave me a spider-plant once. I watered it -every day- _[edit]_ correctly, never overwatering it … and I still managed to kill it. We have no idea how. I just seem to have a black-thumb. Plants take one look at me and commit unaliving just to save everyone the time.
"There's a picture of a beautiful woman with 6 pack abs, but I'm not going to show the picture."
Me (and probably many other lesbians watching): 😢
It’s easily googleable, and well worth looking for!
A bisexual joined the conversation
Please show the pic Jamie
Same!
*sapphics
@@EstherDwomoh you're so right bestie. I've done a true disservice to all the non-lesbian sapphics and wlw 😔
8:55 my dad (gen x) once got drunk and described himself as 'omnivorus' with his sexuality and said "your mother could be a man i wouldn't mind. shes the one person" he was at the time getting it conflated that bisexuality meant being non monogamous and id grow out of it. but i think about that all the time that he cluelessly kinda said hes pansexual
My favourite colour is definitely 🌈. Also, as a borderline gen X person here, I genuinely didn't understand being bi was an option before my 20s. I specifically remember rationalizing as a confused teenager that I can't be lesbian because I had a crush on a guy, so I had to be straight. And some girls and certain female actresses just were really fascinating. That's the 90s and self-denial in a small town for ya.
I had the exact same experience as Gen-Z, so it still happens I guess. Bisexuality just isn't as prominent in the media
Yeah, same. Early Millenial here. Thought it was a girl thing to think other girls are hot and kiss better because I also was into guys. Took me until my early thirties to realize IT'S A BI THING. That's what bi erasure does! And my first chrush was my very female baby sitter when I was about 8. Also, Haruka Tenno from Sailor Moon.
18:00 Okay, [cis] Internet Uncle-Gay🏳🌈 here again to quote one of my favorite Ace icons: "Yes, I can find people attractive. Just because I find a sunset beautiful doesn't mean I wanna fvck it." 😆
I think that‘s one of the perks of being gay. Since 90% of people are „straight“ one learns pretty quickly that just because it looks nice, doesn’t mean that you can f*ck it. So one can just look at beautiful people without being sexually attracted. Something Heterosexuals i feel struggle a lot more with.
@@The_real_Arovor I think we also should factor in how str8 dudes are socialized. They have this sense of entitlement regarding sex, especially with how women are portrayed as property. The combination promotes thinking with your crotch instead of with your brain.
The thing is, we aren't free of that in gay space, either. How many gay men take, "I wouldn't want to fsck that," and leap to, "Has no worth as a human being"? Quite a few, sadly. It's what's behind the misogyny among gay men. It drives transphobia against gay trans men. We ain't so pure, I'm sorry to say
Who are you quoting?
@@casychapin4647 "Red" from the "Overly-Sarcastic Productions" channel.
At least, _I think_ I heard this from her. It could've been from someplace else … Internet Uncle-Gay🏳🌈 is gettin' old, and his memory's gettin' flaky, yo!
Truth, humans are art and should be appreciated as such!
When I came out as non-binary, my stepdad was very confused. As a cis man, he claims "everyone" feels like a woman sometimes, a man sometimes, nothing to worry about! "Some days I feel like a woman, some days like a man, that's just life!"
Me, being more of an agender non-binary, was like "Eh, I don't experience that at all. Ever heard of gender fluid?" but no, he identifies as a cis man, and is convinced this is how everyone experiences life.
I'm definitely not gonna tell anyone else how to identify, if he feels like a cis man then that's his experience of being a cis man I guess, but it's a bit annoying when it's used to invalidate my identity.
Sometimes you feel like a nut, sometimes you don't
the first one is just beautiful. We've done it. It's gay to be straight.
On the one with the girlfriend coming out as trans and becoming the boyfriend, it gets very weird when trying to tell a story about someone who later transitioned, even when you try to gender them correctly. I actually have a personal anecdote about this topic that I would like to share.
For context, I am a gay cisgender man. Recently, a friend (NB) was asking for advice on what to do in a situation where they found themself developing feelings for a friend they weren't sure would reciprocate. I related to them a story of my experience being in a similar situation with an old college friend who at the time presented as male and as far as I knew was a straight man, but later came out as a bisexual trans woman. When telling my current friend the story, I made sure not to misgender the old friend and used her chosen name and she/her pronouns. Even though it was accurate to call her a woman, it felt very weird to me to refer to myself being attracted to *her*. I have never been attracted to women, so telling this story was just odd. I won't presume, but like to imagine that this was a taste of what it feels like for someone to have gender dysphoria.
Yeah! As a Trans guy it's exactly like that, at least for me. The only difference is that the gendering feels weird in regards to myself, instead of a romantic interest of mine.
I have a similar problem. My one biological sibling is trans, but of course she wasn't when we were growing up together. So I have a lot of stories of my then-brother doing things like playing dressup and allowing my friends and I to put makeup on him and even me going with him to boyscouts- and for all those stories it's really important that I describe him as he was back then- a brother, male, he/him pronouns. It gets confusing when talking about her as she is now and comparing how the relationship between us has changed without the very important life event of her coming out as trans. I tried asking some trans friends of mine and got mixed answers as to whether this was okay or if I was "outing" my sister.
My solution? I asked her in person how I should go about it. She confirmed that the way I had been referring to her past self was fine. Incidentally, her husband is also trans and very much agreed. In general, I'd say it's best to use the name and pronouns of the person as they are now, but if the change in gender expression is important to the story (or the meme, as in the video) then it's okay to use the old name and pronouns. But it's different for each person, so of course be willing to change that if someone expresses discomfort with it.
I have a similar situation about my ex. They're NB today but it's VERY complicated to talk gender-neutral in French. And when we were together they were still officially identifying as a man. So I asked them if it was okay to refer to them in the masculine form when talking in French about their past self. They said it was fine btw =)
Not sure but I believe it's a much less loaded topic for enbies than for binary trans peeps. But it might be my agender lense.
@@EmelieWaldken People want to talk about how Anglo-Saxon culture is extremely regressive, which it mostly is, but at least they have language for non-binary people. And they have words for the rest of the language, because that happens
8:10 The other day, my mom said something I haven't heard her say as a teenager: "When your sexuality is developing you can be attracted to anyone." She said this in response to me trying to tell her that my lesbian and bi friends didn't choose their sexuality by saying, "Well, you're attracted to men. You can't make yourself be attracted to woman." I didn't pick up on it as a teenager (probably because I'm a 2 on the Kinsey Scale), but boy howdy does she have some suppression and mental gymnastics.
i do think that's true for some ppl, but you can also discover yr permanent identity at any time. also it doesn't make you less real if it changes later.
i also think you can be sexually bi or pan but monoromantic then validly ID as gay or straight. i'm sort of the opposite of that, i'm panromantic but homosexual and i ID as lesbian
Well some people have a changing sexuality, that morphs and you’re not always attracted to the same gender
And everyone don’t have that
that is kinda true for many people, but that's also why people often say a huge portion of people is bi or would at least not be against intercourse with the same gender and such. I was definitely way gayer as a teen lmao. I still struggle with identifying as bi, even though I had lesbian experiences as a teen. Because I did indeed kinda "grow out of it", in a way. But that doesn't mean I am super hetero lol clearly I used to have a thing for women. Just not currently, maybe. But tbh, I got over men aswell. For several years now, in my late twenties, I am generally not interested in having intercourse with anyone anymore. Maybe that will change again.
I guess moral of the story is, your mom is not wrong, but attraction changing over your years of life doesn't invalidate any of those feelings and experiences. But it might also mean that you don't have to strictly adhere to one label. I personally don't like any of the gender or sexuality labels for myself. I just don't really care to label myself because I have changed over the course of life and I just don't care. If there's some day someone coming along who I like, then so be it. I can't predict who or if I will like someone again.
As a 53 year old woman... I did not know bi sexual was a thing until about 5 years ago. I thought you were gay or you were straight. It was just the way I was raised. My parents were not homophobic at all. My mom had a gay couple friend who came over a lot. I'm not sure my parents knew that bi existed either. The internet has really opened my eyes. It explains so much about my husband and myself. We have both been attracted to the same gender (Mila was my crush too!) but we are still happily married for 30 years. I just thought we both appreciated the beauty of human bodies.. but maybe we are bi. I don't know. My oldest son doesn't label himself (he does identify as male) but he dates males and females. I'm glad his world is more open than ours was.
I enjoy watching your channel. Yes. Gen X is sandwiched between boomers and millennials. I"m gen x
❤🧡💛💚💙💜🏳️🌈
Daily reminder; You are valid and amazing just the way you are!
🏳️🌈❤🧡💛💚💙💜
Thank you!
No u (i am also valid)
I'm straight, but that's still helpful!
@@TaraTara-ld2xb "I'm straight, but"
Nah you're gay/bi now (joke)(satire)(comedic)
@@TaraTara-ld2xb hi straight im dad
My mom legit told me when I came out "It is a choice. I can find women attractive and know that they have the same parts and would know what to do, but I made a choice to love and marry your father". Flash forward about a decade and I have to remind her that she "chose to love and marry my father" and they both refuse to file for divorce.
“In & Out” is such a cute movie! Please watch it! You can’t pass up seeing Tom Seleck snogging another guy… it is a thing of beauty ❤ totally worth watching. Yes mostly a “straight” cast with queerness being the main focus of the plot, but it’s so funny and tasteful done with the typical ‘90s stereotype of discovering identity late in life… I don’t know how to explain it just watch it! 😂
Agreed, I love that movie! That and To Wong Foo are the cutest damn queer themed movies of the 90s, in that while they are dated now, they didn't feel mean-spirited at the time and they still don't now, IMO.
@@larkylark1 Patrick Swayze in drag is the best thing ever 🤩 he was such a symbol of machismo in his time but seeing him portray a Queen slapped toxic masculinity hard.
Yes! Both are great movies. There was a more indi one “Defying Gravity” that was my favorite, though a real tear jerker. One thing though, I feel old, as In & Out, Beautiful Thing, and Queer as Folk were my “coming of age” shows. Now they’re all about 20 years old.
@@thatpantransguy Patrick Swayze put his whole heart and soul into that role, he did such a good job!
"IS EVERYONE HERE GAY?! IS THIS THE TWILIGHT ZONE?!"
16:10 - There is a deleted scene from “Back to the Future” where Marty McFly is worried that kissing his 17 year-old mother (in 1955) would “make him gay”, to which Doc Brown replies: “Why shouldn't you be happy?”, totally not getting the 1985 meaning Marty implied. - I think this is the same thing that happened here: This #16 issue of “Betty and Me” is from 1968, when the sexual connotation hadn't yet developed, or at least wasn't as widespread.
That's language change, everybody.
How does Incest = Gay?
@@nobodycares5050that was the “joke”, I’m sure. Being gay was the big scary - particularly in the early 80s when the AIDS epidemic was being publicised as a disease mostly centred on the homosexual community.
8:40 this was my case for the longest time, I had a very negative view on trans and nb ppl because I found that they were just being dramatic, causing a fuss, that they were all balled up over nothing.
That was until, a friend of mine came out as a Demi-girl.
Seeing as they were my friend I listened to their story, at the time wanting to help them out of their madness, and I told them “everyone feels that way” they looked at me long and heard, it turns out that everyone does in fact not feel that way, my gender is very much not cis, and I haven’t been happier since realising that I’m nonbinary
Glad you got over your transphobia
12:01 this one is absolutely sending me for NO REASON
“I see the gay undertones, but I also see death” iconic
7:32
My mum recently came out to me and it meant the world ❤️
She shared a story about her and her first girlfriend getting beat up outside a bar for being together which broke my heart. I love her so much and I’m touched she shared it with me
As someone with a parent who said the “all girls have been attracted to a women once, but they turn out straight” and it was used to put me in the straight box because I “liked” guys before so that means I’m only straight (I’m not 100% yet but I say aro or queer) gotta love parents
and also she doesn’t believe it’s possible to be bi (pan doesn’t exist for her) it’s either your straight or gay 😔
💜 (for years I always said it was blue, cause I think I thought it was considered more masculine. I do really like blue still, I just really love purple)
Me too!💜
Ay, we have the same favorite colors! Except I didn't really have a motive as to why I like blue... but blue, purple and orange are my top 3.
Roses are red
Violets are blue
Wait no their Violet
Just like my favorite color too ^w^💜
Same! I'm also a big fan of green and blue 💜💚💙
I like blue a lot, but I have always seen it as a gender neutral color
So my mom is gen x and always said the "oh everyone finds everyone attractive a bit" she recently came out as bisexual at 50 after finally realizing it. I was like "that's awesome! But yeah obviously lol" She wasn't homophobic she just honestly thought everyone was like her. Except for a few ppl who were fully straight or gay.
TARDIS blue
Also I was raving about how attractive Trevor Noah is and my straight cis manly man brother looks at me with big round eyes "OMG I KNOW RIGHT?" His wife was right there. Gotta love a secure dude.
7:31 I do suspect there are loads of bisexuals in the older generations that think "everyone" feels that way, but it's important to remember that aesthetic attraction doesn't necessarily imply sexual attraction. They absolutely can go together, and I think this person's mom means it that way! But, you know, let people tell their homies that they look good without assuming they're gay.
They still exist, lol. Had someone tell me, a lesbian, that they "turned straight" after being bisexual. They then proceeded to tell me that sexuality is a choice.
One should also keep in mind that attraction is a spectrum. You might be a type 1 on the Kinsey scale, almost all the way to the completely heterosexual pole but just not quite. Meaning you have enough same sex attraction to be admiring but not enough to wanna tap that.
According to Kinsey's completely heterosexual and completely homosexual people were quite a bit rarer that people thought back then but they kept those results close to their chest to not dilute the political power of the gay liberation movement.
9:55 it’s not staging a love story! It’s about bumping into someone on the street and having an entire full blown romantic sequence with them flash through your mind out of absolutely nowhere… honestly relatable
I agree, I think a lot of people who think being gay is a choice might actually be bi and not know it. I wish I was bi, but I'm sadly just an ally.
I should point out that wishing you were something could be a sign that you are, or that you're at least questioning or curious. I'm basing this on my own experiences as a trans "ally" who wished I was nonbinary several years ago.
@@FrozEnbyWolf150 i agree, used to wish i was bisexual NB.
Can't be very surprised about my identity
Like these other commenters, I can't assign your sexuality for you, but I _can_ say that up until about 2 months ago, I used to say those *exact* words all the time.
Around new years I came to the realisation that: surprise! I'm bi
Just a little something to think about 😉
My favourite colour is blue. Especially dark blue
Samee :D
Mine are dark purple and black :]
@@Amity_BlightTOHI thought I was the only one who liked black! Although my favourite is red, black is my second favourite
OML, I JUST REALISED YOU'RE A FELLOW GACHATUBER ASWELL!!
I more of a cyan gal myself, but blue is also the color of Blåhaj, so I can’t hate it
Big agree on retroactively misgendering being uncomfortable. My mum is like “well you were a girl back then!” And I cringe every time (she’s trying tho)
Jamie not being entirely sure that the picture was of Henry cavil is so ironic given his role as superman
15:35 as a trans woman myself, i think that it's okay if they agree to it because it's a wholesome joke, and not a transphobic one
In & Out is a really good movie it came out (lol) in the late 80s or 90s and it’s about a gay teacher realizing he’s gay and the backlash (and eventual acceptance I think?) he gets from the community. It’s definitely kid appropriate
It's from 1997 and was rated PG-13, and was directed by Frank Oz (Yoda).
Tom Selleck WITHOUT his trademark moustache is very underrated. 🔥
@@electronics-girl Not just Yoda - Miss Piggy. The biggest fucking gay icon of the era
12:06 i see the gay undertones... but i also see death
iconic
In reference to the Lesbian Feta: there is a real Greek island called Lesbos, and I believe the feta was either made there, or made in that style, which I assume was the original intention of the sign XD
I believe it was from Lesbos, yes.
When I first came out as bisexual [now identifying as pansexual & nonbinary], my Mom told my Grandpa. Apparently, his response was 'everyone is bisexual'.
Edit: I've been going through your videos & saw the one where you came across 'The Bisexual Manifesto', which I also hadn't heard of, and from that I realize both bisexual & pansexual fit for me. Younger me had learned that bisexual meant binary attraction.
15:06 I kinda feel the same. Like it made me feel a bit uncomfortable, but I also recognise that it wouldn't have worked otherwise.
As a young boy 50+ years ago, I could not work out how anybody, man or woman, could find men attractive, I just never believed it, women were beautiful, men weren't. I'm 65 now and I realised a few years back that I'm gynosexual and agender or gender fluid.
From my teens to my mid thirties I was very androgynous, my work allowed me to dress as I please and I presented feminine and masculine on a whim, my partners were cis women although I could have potentially had consenting relationships with anybody who was feminine.
I don't mind how femininity is packaged, cis, trans, feme-man, (I'm a bit old for a femeboy!) As long as I'm attracted.
With 2 of my relationships at that androgynous point in my life, I already had quite an established wardrobe and was always adding more as my work involved many trips to the West End London, (in fact I lived in North London for one of the relationships in the 80s,) they both used to raid my wardrobe if we were going out to an event or party; I never minded sharing clothes with partners and some friends that were women.
Now I'm retired in the countryside, I do more practical stuff in my garden and workshop, I just dress in a hoodie, tee-shirt, sweat pants, and trainers, sort of unisexual and I spend a fraction of what I used to on hand made one off designer items. My identity is no longer so married to my appearance, well a little perhaps, I still have shoulder length hair and I do use Alice bands!
I'm so glad the internet provides the young now with so much more information, I was often harassed by gay men when I was in my teens and early 20s, yet I knew I wasn't gay, but at least I also was able to attract some great girlfriends. My feminine clothes never put women off me (I was never the frilly transvestite type, I looked more like a present day yoga girl but with a stretchy minidress or skirt over my leotard and leggings and a wonderful large hand painted sweatshirt on top), it may have even helped overall.
However without an internet I was not able to find a community of people who were like me or my label, but I did end up with some very supportive friends who accepted me as I came.
Society in 80s Britain was possibly more accepting of different people than today, there was more institutionalised bigotry and racism, but people generally were more accepting of LGBTQ+ people. I got some comments on the streets of London when presenting feme but not many, gays were having a hard time still, trans people did not cause any animosity and just got on with their lives, a lot of laws hadn't changed and the police and the church were always a problem but the church was slowly changing.
I think it is sad that in 2024 that young trans people feel that England is not a good place to be trans, not as bad as some places obviously, but the momentum for change has been lost. Some of that is because of 14yrs of conservative rule, the country is in quite a state. Brexit was an enormous mistake, and yes I told you so. I think we are the slowest recovering (financial), member of the G7 nations after the pandemic. We have had some terrible prime ministers since the conservatives got in. However whilst Labour were offering Jeremy Corbyn as an alternative it was never going to change. However now we are seeing new levels of anti-trans thinking from the conservatives as we have a transphobic prime minister, also some of the gay and lesbian communities are not being supportive, some even rewriting the history of the Stonewall riots to justify their stance on being TERFs. Hopefully things will improve but yesterday a court ruled in favour of a Gender Critical Feminist in case of "wrongful" dismissal involving the Open University, it doesn't look good. It's almost like now gays have been more or less accepted, they need some other minority to oppress and trans people who have been quietly living their lifes for years have become the target of hate, now instead of improving their situation, institutions, government etc is trying to make their lives more difficult. It saddens me to see some, not all, but some feminists, gays and lesbians turn on trans people, it saddens me that as I reach my final years that a lot of the progress I saw made in my life time is now going backwards.
Stay safe and stay fabulous folks!
💐🤫♥️🧀🥖☕🇪🇺😼🐈⬛🐕🏳️🌈🏳️⚧️🌈🇺🇦💐
This is the best comment I’ve read on the internet, like ever. I hope one day to be as secure in my gender presentation!! ❤
My favourite colour is blue, like the dark deep blue you see in winter when the night is already falling around 6pm
7:23 Idk how big of a trend it is, but I’ve seen a few videos of people going up behind guys who have their arm around a girl and putting a bouquet in their hand, so that the girl will be surprised with flowers from her boyfriend (even though they’re not actually from him), so this is a subversion of that
7:17 i've seen videos like this before lol
the idea is someone secretly gives one of the couple flowers so that they can give it to their partner, kinda helping them be romantic
but this version is "nah i'm just giving them to you lmao lets kiss"
13:25 In and Out is a cute film about a teacher who gets outted by his former student's oscar acceptance speech. He's not out, even to himself. So of course he goes around denying that he's gay but...
And it involves super "masculine" super conservative Tom Selleck smooching the heck out of a man, soooo, A+
I'm on "the spectrum," so I can be pretty persnickety about color and especially color combinations. I generally don't care for colors left of green on the spectrum, and favor the colors to the right of yellow. Violet is my favorite and has become my signature color over the years.
not sure if yr just being cheeky, but autistic isn't a bad word that needs mitigation! i love being autistic!
@@SpecialBlanket or neurodivergent (because, for example, "autistic, dyslexic+hyperlexic, and dyspraxic ADHDer with complex PTSD" is such a mouthful)
@@SpecialBlanket y'all be treating autism like it's some kind of superpower 💀
I definitely agree with the thing about older generations! My mom id's as straight and is homophobic, but the way I've heard her talk about some women.. Like one time at a bar she was enamored with this tall beautiful lady, was raving to her about how beautiful she was (she doesn't go up and compliment people, that was very rare) and kept bringing her up for the rest of the night. At one point later I mentioned to her one of my friends being bi and she said "oh so she's confused". I'm pan but have only told her that I'm 'not straight' bc I don't want to deal with cookware jokes. She doesn't say anything about me not being straight, besides implying she doesn't agree with it. That's her problem ✨
12:41 sounds like someone is telling on themselves for having a skill issue.
My favourite colour is red! 🛑
Also, fellas, is it gay for a man to like women? 🧐
Real men
- don’t touch men
- don’t touch women
- don’t touch enbys
- don’t touch themselves
- can’t figure out why they’re alone
Indeed it is! Veeeeery gay, very gay, really. Apparently it’s also gay to see, because glasses look gay🏳️🌈👓
literally everything is gay according to someone somewhere, except for a gay orgy with the bros, thats just a fun Tuesday evening.
@@goodomenslee4004glasses are superrr gay. I specifically got glasses to see women clearer
My favorite color is red, too!
We did high school musical for our school play last year and I haven’t watch the movie so I didn’t expect this but at the end, it’s revealed one of the side characters had a crush on Sharpay and it implied they got together in the end but the side character was played by a girl I knew and I will forever be extremely happy about that suddenly gay moment :))))
Gotta be nice minty greens. Thats my fave. Worst would be red for me personally.
13:20 "In & Out" is a movie about a guy coming out. So it's the latter, Jamie.
Purple, specifically lavender, is my favorite color 💜
same
Thank you, Jamie, for remembering Gen X (7:58). No one else does.
Purple, the darker the better. As a child, my plum crayons would always be nubs because I used them so much.
My hair is currently this color! It’s black at the first glance, but looks purple when the light hits it
As a boomer many homosexuals and bisexuals married and had children to keep jobs, not be arrested and lived on the down low all their lives because of things like the Stonewall uprisings and the laws. Much better today but still a long way to go.many laws were still in effect in the seventies that were used on Alan Turing.
💙-- navy, ultraviolet, indigo, teal, turquoise, French, sky, royal, periwinkle--- I love every shade--💙
my mom isn’t homophobic but i totally think she fell into the wrong age group trap. shes an old ass millennial like the kind that refuses to believe she is one and she told me one time “maybe if i grew up in another time i would be bisexual” and i just had to sit there like mom no thats not how it works
43 years old is not old 😭
@@Coccinelf i meant for a millennial i dont think shes old lmao.
@@chocolate_flora You are right though that's not how it works. Actually, I think she's very young to have that kind of thinking but I guess it depends where you grow up.
@@Coccinelf she grew up in a very christian household so…yeah
Me: *cries in old ass millenial*
12:31 it took me *way* too long to realise that this comment was meant to be about praying 😭
10:47 imagine having to explain how you broke your nose to someone 💀
Thank you Jamie, for making me laugh every day! When I see you, I see what I could be someday. You helped me realising I was trans and because of you I won‘t give up! I love all your videos, you are great!🩵🩷🤍🩷🩵
15:42 Lesbian feta is from the Greek island Lesbos.
15:25 I agree, but in a specific context like this, when it’s a fictional or theoretical character and necessary for it to make sense, then I dont think its too much of a problem. Ofc that changes if its not a fictional or theoretical character or its not necessary.
14:48 While the meme is probably a fictional situation, I think we should keep in mind that it might be someone's real experiences, and that this might actually be how the people involved prefer to present the story, the telling that they feel most accurately describes their journey together.
I flip-flopped between orange and yellow, but i’ve concluded that my favorite color is, indeed, yellow. 💛
Miles “Tails” Prower from the Sonic The Hedgehog franchise was definitely a massive contributor to that, as i’ve seen him as a sort of role model, or at least a character i would cheer for.
Also, yellow is bright and cheery the way i tend to see it. I considered orange for the same aforementioned reasons.
I love Tails!! He's very polite and adorable!
I think the video at 7:00 is a reference to a TikTok where a guy goes around secretly giving people roses for their partners. The idea of the original was to show how excited the partner would get when they received the rose
16:01 it's called lesbian feta, because it's from the island Lesbos. The reason that gay women are called lesbian is because Sappho was from Lesbos.
Teen pregnancy in my rural town is so prevalent they have teen health center. When my daughter was 14 I went there to fill out papers saying if she wanted condoms she could have them. At 16 they don’t need parental permission. At 13 she had two classmates become pregnant. Is wanted to make sure she had full access if she needed it. Didn’t start dating until 16 but that doesn’t mean anything. They could get the pill without permission at any age.
Good on you. Besides even if they don't have sex yet, kids need to know about sex to make sure they're not taken advantage of and can recognise abuse.
I always think "honi soit qui mal y pense" (shame on who thinks ill of it) when conservatives want to prevent education on that part, like banning the book "The Perks of Being a Wallflower" as if they're deliberately trying to make child abuse easier.
9:00 huh... that's actually a good point that would make a lot of sense
For 30 years my favourite colour was always blue... Last year I wore a olive green button up with binder the first time in office and my colleagues one day one by one complimented how much olive green suited me and how confident I looked. I know it was because I dared to be myself. But ever since I really love olive green!
Blue is my favorite color too, but I also like purple and green .
15:55 i think it means feta from the Lesbos island
In & Out is the best movie ever! It has Kevin Klein and Tom Selleck! It's a teacher who is seemingly outed by one of his former students the week before his own wedding during his acceptance speech at the Oscars. It was thought up in part because of Tom Hank's acceptance speech for the movie Philadelphia in which he named two men as the finest gay Americans he knew. They thought, what if the person wasn't out? Or even realized they were gay? It's a hilarious movie and you will be dancing along by the end. It's also a happy ending which is always awesome to find.
Hi, I just helped my sister buy her first padded bras after giving her mine (not padded) a few days before.
She likes them and I'm happy to help a fellow trans person.
7:31 I experienced this. I'm a member of Gen-X. I lived through the AIDS terror and seeing vigilantly murders of gay individuals on the news. I'm bi-sexual. I married a man and had children and after several years I went through my 'self-discovery'. I never cheated, my husband was very supportive. But yes, I thought being attracted to women was normal, at least I had tried to convince myself of that.
Being attracted to women IS normal, if you are lesbian or bisexual.
08:09
Both my parents. They thought being cishet was the only okay thing to be. Both were like “no yeah, not identifying with your gender is normal af. So’s being attracted to multiple genders. Just don’t.”
And they fell in love with each other so hard that over a decade after my mom passed away, my dad said “dating after loving her would be like forcing a lion to live on grass.”
7:34 this gives the same vibes as my mum saying “just because you’re not into romance and have never liked someone doesn’t mean you’re aromantic, I was like that too until I met your dad”. we figured out she was aroace a few weeks ago.
the generational bi-erasure, particularly for women, was one of those things where it wasn't so much a personal denial; ALL the material available told us it was "normal" for women to fantasize about other women. Some books/magazines/educational films leaned hard into the difference between fantasy and actual desire (ex: not really wanting rape fantasty, BDSM, other kinks, etc.); later stuff claimed that since all the available porn/media, etc. was geared towards men, we associated sexuality with women b/c it was all that was shown. took me decades to reject all that, but even when we actively looked for the info, we were told it didn't mean what we thought it meant
7:32 I was explaining what being FTM felt like to my Mom. Then I went into what I have been told nonbinary people feel like by friends and she said "everyone feels that way!" Ope. No Mama.... no they dont. 😅🎉
I’m a trans-woman, but also someone that writes fiction with trans characters (nothing published, just personal projects) and I think the gendering of trans people’s past is complex. While the default should always to be use their chosen gender, there are some expectations.
When talking about pre-transition for a character I’ll often lean towards using “…who people perceived as …” as a way to address the “accepted” gender at the time, while also not invalidating the gender they are.
9:24 honestly that guy looks like he cpuld be Megan Fox's brother 😂
18:10 Holy crap I did not expect something like this to be very relatable. When I learned about asexuality and aesthetic attraction, it made me feel not wrong for admiring another dude. The thing is, there were always dudes that I would put a tier above conventionally attractive or aesthetically pleasing, which I would realize was my type.
Daily reminder: You don’t need to justify what you identify as to a stranger, especially online.
Keep up the great work Jamie! 🏳️⚧️
Im almost sure my mom would have been bi if shed been born later. When I was coming out as bi she did a lot of the “well no cuz when I was your age I loved my best friend and wanted to get married and hold hands and live together but EVERYONE DOES THAT”
(Shes come a LONG way since then 💜💜💜)
15:15 completely understand this sentiment, I do think it's to each their own however. Trans people can feel any sort of way about their own transitions and can refer to their past selves with whatever. My friend prefers to refer to himself exclusively as a man retrospectively, because that's how he identified- and I sort of just go with whatever's the most convenient, but default to saying I was a girl.
My favourite colour is emerald green...the bluey dark green shade(s) really hits a different spot in my brain
My fav color is also emerald green, it has been ever since I saw wicked the musical, lol
@@DaniElleRF I am not sure I have ever heard of this musical (if I am embarrassing myself right now, officially I know but my late night brain is just tired 😅).
I think I first realised how much I love the colour when I came home with a new vest that I had bought specially because of the colour and I realised I already had one of those in only a tiny shade darker in my wardrobe...ths knowing without knowing 🤣
When I came out as bi my mom went into the whole "everyone is a little bit bi" thing and said dismissively that she'd even found some women attractive and I'm just sitting there like ..........
12:12 it definitely looks like a ghost 👻👻
My Ex has given me permission to use their old pronouns when I talk about how we fought for lesbian rights because it would be confusing if I said I thought I was a lesbian and with my ex for a decade and then called him my ex husband haha I never had a husband we were broken up long before he came out as trans.But unless I am specifically talking about that exact issue I always still call him by he or they as are his pronouns now. I think in some situations it makes sense (IF and only IF) the person has given permission.
Yellow is my favorite color too, the exact shade you described
Yeah, (I am 34; came out Dec 2022) I came out to my conservative cis Dad, and he said, "I used to think I was that way, but I'm glad I didn't go that path. I think everyone has those feelings." ... Gay people have those feelings, Dad! Better yet, I then told my mom's sister (my mom died in 2009), and my aunt says, "You're mom thought she was gay, but then she fell head over heels for a man." (My dad is her second husband.) And then my aunt said, "Sometimes I wish I were gay." I said, "You can be gay if you want!"✌️ 🌈
Oooh! My favorite colors are red, purple and pink. ESPECIALLY when they're matched with black! ^^
11:55 - An in-and-out-and-in-and-out-of-body experience.
I got a flower from my first gf (I'm amab), I think it's one of my core memories.
@@TheWerewolfOfNorway-mf5jzlike I've said before, scientifically no.
@@TheWerewolfOfNorway-mf5jz Cornell University, Columbia University, National Institutes of Health, Stanford Medicine, and HealthNews
10:35 that euphoria of hearing they/ them included
My Mum basically came out as Demisexual/Ace-Spec on accident via the "Everyone feels that way!" but to my FRIENDS discussing it. Then got really mad when I explained what it was later, said I'm that, and that it's possible she could be too if she feels the same. Yikes. She supports me, but can't see herself as queer at all in any way, gets mad at even the idea. She also gets mad at any of the making fun of Token or Toxic straight people jokes. Kinda sad.
She always says she is progressive and supportive, but like...she's got internalized shit to work through that she needs to not project too. She is kinda tone deaf how she affects others via invalidation at times.
In family therapy so things are better tho. :)
Love that Jamie brought up the "well being gay is a choice/having attraction to a gender doesn't mean you're not straight because _I_ chose to be straight" internalised homophobia thing he and Click discussed a while back
17:48 Gosling & Reynolds are the two names that insecure straight guys always say, though! Not to say they can't be legit answers, or that they wouldn't be appealing to straight guys... it's just they're the main cop-out answers, too.
I love looking at and trying to use, Red, blue and purple in my life. I find my self always being drawn to green though. Painting green, and wearing green. I think my favorite color is green.
I like alot of colors but especially green! Malachite, chartreuse, and seafoam being my top favorite types of greens💚✨️