Whether they reach out with good intentions or selfish intentions, it doesn't really matter unless they've done the work on themselves. It will just be more of the same cowardly behavior
Hello I'm so excited my relationship was fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,I got help from a great man who brought us back together
DA' s typically start off being the closest at the beginning of the relationship. Showing attentiveness , caring and intimacy . Once they actually start to have (feelings) for you. And you for them .Game over .they shut down on all aspects of the relationship out of their own fear and insecurity. Sex becomes nonexistent Any attempt to talk about the relationship becomes criticism and they pull back more.
I couldn’t have put it better way, this is exactly what I’ve gone through. I will do the work for my healing and make sure to choose securely attached man in the future instead of attracting DAs..
Spot on that’s exactly what happened to me ! Everything was seamless ! Until he pushed me away , broke up ! Him chasing me for over 2 years , but so hot and cold ! I keep my distance , cordial , compassionate , with empathy , but not so close to damage myself ! God bless !
@@tj4787 him chasing you? I didn't see that in my situation. I don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing. Mine would argue with me when I start to pull away. We would start to work on things, and then she would just shut down again. Absolutely maddening
Yeah, he reached out after a month of no contact, apologized for breaking up, and was so willing to work things out, just to deactivate again one week later. Do not bother with avoidants. Very few will actually work to be secure and even if they become "more secure" it is still some version of avoidant incapable of meeting the needs of a healthy relationship. I am a secure attachment style person, and it's better to find other secure people.
It means they want to use you again. Up until you attempt to get some of your own needs met in the "relationship." Then they'll disappear again. Rinse and repeat. Until you finally believe that you deserve better treatment and don't take them back. I've got some experience with these folks.
Hello I'm so excited my relationship was fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,I got help from a great man who brought us back together......
The person wasn’t “dismissive/avoidant” when they pursued this. They were quite assertive actually. They only became “avoidant” when they realized there would be follow-through. I’m not anxious, I just notice when things change for no good reason. Especially when there is so much fun. Their sudden avoidant behavior is wishy-washy and that’s their problem. If an honest connection is desired, they’re going to have to be an adult and be willing to engage as adults to see where it might go by being authentic, or just let it go and stop trying to keep a half-hearted connection because of their own insecurities and needs.
@@redrumax Sound like a cop out? Pushed and pressured? Come on, is he five? If he started out open and trying to "win you over" why wouldn't you express your need for authenticity if that is what you seek? His reaction perhaps shows you are looking for different things - he could just say that, not blame you. People like that should be honest, get help or stay out of the game.
@@emotionalrobot632 31 and a virgin according to himself as he cannot get close to people and prefers online relationships that he can push away at whim.
@@redrumax maybe he wasn't avoidant. They usually are very authentic. Maybe it was a fake who ran before u could figure it out? Or maybe not. Just an idea.
You couldn t have said it better. In my situation, he even asked for honesty in the begining, and ended the relationship because “he didn t want to pretend anymore”. But also with a very honest line: “once the relationship became sure, I didn t want it anymore”. These people should go to jail and be deprived of any human contact until they learn to appreciate it.
To all my AP peeps. Work on yourself first! Set boundaries not only with DAs but with anyone including yourself! Us APs tend to lack boundaries and put others needs first than ours. So its super important to learn how to meet your needs first! Secure yourself! You can only work out with a DA if they put in their own self work too! If not youll always be triggered! If youre not worthy to a DA youll be worthy to someone else! But most of all be worthy to yourself!!
@@KatyaMorozova thank you! I comment specifically on this vid because during the NO contact time is the perfect time for one to self reflect and work on finding a secure attatchment rather than focusing on the DA.
I have had the misfortunate of marrying a narcissist, dating a bipolar individual but the most dysfunctional relationship was with a DA. I finally found someone who is fully functional like me. Night and day. When you aren’t aware of mental disorders it can really ruin your life. How do you understand someone’s behavior when you have no reference point. I have made it a point to study personality disorders to protect myself.
Kari, it sounds like the biggest benefit you could do yourself is simply working on your partner choosing skills. From the way you describe it, your instincts are downright awful when it comes to picking someone to start a relationship with. That's the first issue you need to investigate and resolve...why are you making such awful choices for potential partners? Are you naturally a "fixer" trying to do the impossible with a DA or a narcissist and change them?
Well the behavior slowly leaks. It’s not apparent in the beginning and if you’ve never seen this kind of behavior before you have no contrast. These people must have some inkling of there behavior because it was years, decades that went by before I noticed something was off. Everything ran smoothly before it didn’t. They are cunning, they have to be or they won’t get anywhere. Another thing I noticed was the more you were on to them, the worse their behavior became as if fighting back for control. And when they know they’ve been discovered, poof they are gone. I’m a highly sensitive empath, the perfect target for personality disorders. And thanks for your rude comments, I always came out unscathed and on top. I learned a lot. I’ve never had a victim mentality. Because I am aware that through our greatest suffering comes our greatest learning. Furthermore these people weren’t just off the street they were from my hometown, people I have known for 43 and 46 years. People who did not display this behavior when we were young. I told the latest DA you have never displayed a sincere interest in befriending me therefore I am simply not interested in being with you. And then I blocked him. So I’m not some clueless dumb shit. I give people a fair chance to prove themselves and then I always walk away. I have never stuck around in a bad hopeless situation.
Oh my god you just reinforced my feeling that DA’s are like narcissists. Look up “hoovering” and how they try to suck you back in and you just spiral. You gave me an idea what to do next time he reaches out in his own sweet time via text! do nothing then explain my boundary: l told him before “l would rather not write essays”. I am so freaking tired of him controlling the dynamics. I am proud of myself how l handled his latest withdrawal of radio silence. I am an anxious avoidant doing my best to act secure. Fake it till you make it
Hello I'm so excited my relationship was fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,I got help from a great man who brought us back together......
They aren't like narcissists....they flat out ARE narcissists. Don't waste the time on a DA unless they've demonstrated they've sought help , which is EXTREMELY unlikely.
@@dr.options he broke it off with me after a few months of dating. I was confused after some time he contacted me again saying if l needed help with anything l could rely on him. We were seeing each other on occasion as strictly friends. I found his dating profile that he updated, he told me before he's not looking for a relationship but after the break up he's now looking. I was be hurt and confused. I should have confronted him then but instead l just stopped contacting him, it was me who always reached out. I thought whatever, he probably should focus on his schooling, he was finishing up his master's degree. Unfortunately l always had a thing and even if l tried to move on with someone else years after l still thought about him, like the one that got away. A year later He knew l was going through unrelated personal difficulty. He did reach out to me via social media saying he was concerned and if l needed to talk to someone, to contact him but only via messenger. From then on we have only had a one sided textual relationship. Never talked on the phone. Even so l craved his attention and bombard him with texts but he would take a long time to get back to me or his replies very controlled, short like he didn't want to reveal anything about his personal life to me. If l called him, he would never pick up the phone. After three years out of the blue he contacted me saying he was in the hospital getting treatment and we ended up flirting intensely over the course of a few days. I decided this time not to take it seriously, besides l worked hard to get over him. Flirting can just be a fun activity on its own. But what shocked me was that he revealed he wanted to physically see me and wanted me as his companion on his next vacation time a month or so from now. It felt like we were getting close again, in the intimate sense not in the usual superficial thing it was all these years. I thought we were on good terms so l tried calling him but yet again he wouldn't pick up. Unfortunately our textual banter got into a political dimension and l noticed that his participation became lighter. I kept going expressing my thoughts and there was no reply. He ghosted me. Called him, didn't reply . In desperation l wrote a long apology text to his personal number, l wasn't sure if he read my texts any more but l still did it. Surprisingly he wrote back promptly he appreciated my concern and accepted my apology and when he's ready he would reach out. I was gutted of course. I told myself that this was it, he doesn't honor his promise l would go now contact, l want of this rollercoaster for good. A month went by l managed to not contact him again but by then l needed answers, l also wanted to tell him off. I did already in a very polite way that l wanted to him to talk to me like a real person so l don't have to keep writing essays in my apology to him. I finally noticed a pattern The only time he would hurry to text me back was when l confront him for his cold, rude behavior or say l would no longer contact him. Usually he would change the subject by making invoking sympathy for him somehow. Conveniently, he never did once apologize for his appalling hot/cold distant behavior towards me what did l ever do to deserve this???? Doubly hurtful. Fed up l picked up the phone to call him, surprisingly he actually picked up. He told me in detail his medical condition and his plans after his treatment concludes that he would totally treat himself... He said that after this freak medical emergency it's probably better to have someone. I calmly waited, everything that came out of his mouth, none of his plans included me, singing a completely different tune. I did not bother to confront him on that.Nor did l offer to be that person to him. I noticed again he was up to his old tricks trying get sympathy from me. That's when l reiterated I'm glad we're talking like this Because l really don't like texting long essays to him. 'Oh really', he laughed!!! That's when l politely said well it was nice talking to you, l really enjoyed this long conversation we had, it would be great to hear your voice more often. I said goodbye. The ball was in his court. I let him know l wasn't going to text him and I'm sure he got the message that if he wanted to do anything with him he needed to communicate it by phone. Long story short he never did. After giving him a few chances, texting friendly cordial things to him now and then, never did l throw a tantrum. he still didn't show any interest. No more texts, much less a phone call.... I've moved on for good. Conclusion: he is a narcissistic coward. He always had a way of controlling contact to his liking, ugh.
Thank you for your videos. My ex DA broke up with me a few days after declaring his immense love for me and making plans to have a baby, move in together and eventually get married. He justified himself by saying he will never meet my needs (how true!) and that "he's not feeling it". If this isn't emotional cruelty, I don't know what is.
After 2 1/2 months of being broken up My DA reached out on Christmas by leaving me a gift on my porch, treats for the dog he bought me, and cat treats for my cats. He sent a lengthy message about how he was full of regret and that he was hopeful he could get to a place where he could tLk to me without feeling ashamed. I was confused and responded with texts. He would not answer my messages. Finally after 3 days of asking for a response he sent one saying he wasn’t comfortable opening up to me because he knew how much I loved him.
Hello I'm so excited my relationship was fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,I got help from a great man who brought us back together
Their reasons for breaking up with people they are in relationships with, usually never make any logical sense and its usually at the expense of their partners being blindsided at the breakup, because they dont explain how they feel or what they are thinking especially if they are unaware they are a DA..they really dont know why they feel the way that they do or why they behave In such matters that sabotage their relationships its really exhausting when you know nothing about attachment styles lol
I an disagreeing with when they reach out even if it's casual...they don't like rejection...if they reached out...they are being casual because they have no idea if you are with another person.
You have to really pay attention and be present during conversations Listen for statements that are confusing, contradicting, or things that may indicate this person is insecure, emotionally struggling, or not happy with his or herself Listening to everything they say, is critical. If something is off, it will come out
Everyone, please recognize that not responding will likely mean the DA won't reach out again. Yes, it's a casual text, but if you want to talk tonthw DA again, RESPOND. An initial casual text is them putting out feelers. A DA (or basically any dumper) isn't going to send a super vulnerable text in their FIRST text. I'm sorry but everyone please go watch Coach Lee. No hate on this woman but this info is fundamentally flawed if you want to get back together with your ex
Hello I'm so excited my relationship was fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,I got help from a great man who brought us back together
Coach Lee actually helped me a lot, so I stand by you. You should respond and after a few text conversations, ask them out and try to make things work... Don't try to rush it, don't try to control the outcome of those conversations, as hard as it is try to believe things will happen naturally, don't be needy. And be careful... It's very easy to fall for breadcrumbs; it's also very hard to have a casual meetup with someone you used to date... It'll feel like you're going in circles sometimes, and you need to know when it's time to let go
Thank you for your perspective and honesty. I trust your videos because you don’t attack and blame the DA. Despite it (my dynamic) not being healthy or ideal, I appreciate the respect you show and is why I’m following you and wanting to learn more so that I can have a healthy relationship one day. I love my DA ex and I empathize with his childhood pain, I know he does mine too in his own way, but he shuts down as soon as he feels empathy. I know when he tries to help, instead of just listen, he comes across harsh and insensitive and then feels like he’s not good enough when his reaction makes me feel worse about my situation. I think I’m overall secure but once I get anxious it then it snowballs. What’s confusing is we’ve been broken up for six months, and now after apologizing to him for not validating him as often as he needed (because he was upset almost daily over absolutely nothing external for me to even know there was an issue) I was walking on eggshells by the hour. Because I apologized for not validating him, he now is starting to try to be closer and hear me out and give me the time of day, in very small pieces, he even called me when he’s only been resorting to text. Im learning that we need to validate our partners even when they feel a way that it so out of touch with reality but I keep my boundary regarding blame as I’m very sensitive to being blamed. He also agreed to just listen when I need to talk to him and asked me to remind him in the moment. I see steps that he’s wanting to try again and being less self centered but I’m exhausted after so long. So when he dodged my question about spending time together, I decided to take space to heal myself because it’s hard to know if I’m actually wanted it I’m doing most of the work. He prefers ghosting over saying goodbye, he let me know that he prefers that someone ghosts him so I did and it feels wrong. He has amazing qualities and as you said, most passionate in the bedroom and during the honey moon stage. He has so much potential and at one point genuinely asked me to show him how to have a healthy relationship. I’m not even sure how or what that means because I’ve put so much work into my own mental health and for me to invest that deeply in someone who isn’t saying they want therapy to learn better habits feels like too much of a gamble for my own mental health. We work together so it’s not easy, I’m civil and try to avoid him. He was very committed at the beginning, which is why I’ve stayed invested far beyond the breakup. It doesn’t feel like it’s paying off and your videos help me put things in to perspective. If he wants to reconcile, he can contact me in person since we work together it would be easy to do. I’ll leave him blocked for now so I can stay emotionally stable for myself at the moment.
You made two crucial mistakes, you got involved with a "man" I say that lightly in your workplace. Do not ever do that again. Your the woman you receive you don't go halves with a "broken guy" in work. You need to prioritise your needs first. So healing work is involved before you pursue another relationship.
I feel you so much - they can have some great qualities and even go as far as asking for help from you to be better for you - but in the end you are right imo to not invest deeply in someone who isn't going into therapy - it will be at the expense of your mental health. Take care of yourself first in relationships - you're the only one who can - then you can care for others - not the other way around
If you don’t respond at all you are telling them “go away, I have nothing to say to you”. It is rude. A short polite reply is better. Especially if you are interested in getting them back. Just don’t engage. But be polite. One short message back. Ended with a “I hope you are well”. In other words cut the conversation right there.
She sent me an email last week at 9 pm asking what to do with my mail. We had already discussed prior to the email that the mail would go to the neighbors house. I didn't reply to that email. Then 2 days later she sent another email apologizing for sending that email. She also stated that there was something wrong with her email and noticed she wasn't getting her mail. So if I responded she didn't see it. I still have not replyed to her.
This clip is super helpful because you give clear examples of when to respond or not. That can feel very stressful, just trying to decide what they're really saying or NOT saying.. Thank you 😊
Hello I'm so excited my relationship was fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,I got help from a great man who brought us back together
What it means? They still don’t want you!!! Every time he came back I hoped for a different outcome. I don’t know why he kept coming back only to tell me he wanted me less and less each time. Just when I thought I was healing he’s come up to hurt me all over again. The lady time was the last. After two years of pain, I finally blocked him.
Hello I'm so excited my relationship was fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,I got help from a great man who brought us back together
After 21 days of NC, my ex reached out with an update on his mental health and how he’s getting help, but that he’s still not sure what he wants. Cool. I didn’t ask. Bye boy ✌️
The DA I’m dealing with reached out with a simple sorry and I said I was sorry too because we were both wrong. It meant a lot though because they have a magical power to convince themselves that they’re right no matter what
Hello I'm so excited my relationship was fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,I got help from a great man who brought us back together
This video is great!! I have watched a lot of videos on DAs but this is great with specific situations and what to expect depending on how the DA reaches out.
This helped a lot, thank You! I got a voice message today, after 3 weeks of not seeing and one week of no contact. The message was of no value because there obviously is a huge neon pink elephant in the room and all they got to say is hey, I hope you are doing fine. Fine???? I am about to eat you alive.... 😂
They typically don’t reach out. They also block you from all forms of communication because of incessant calling/texting/emailing as well as writing letters. There’s been no communication for about a month.
Yes this video cleared out everything for me. Mine's (ex) not coming back. Your content is very good and helpful. Very honest, respectful and clear analysis. Thank you.
Too good and precise! This is the definition of shedding light 4th time i wach he video Anex to ur video : if the avoid has put enough effort for you to respond, keep it playful short lifht hearted funny and never let it sit that you want to come back more than them !
Hello I'm so excited my relationship was fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,I got help from a great man who brought us back together......
Thanks! It was really helpful since I didn't know whether I had to answer to an " I miss you" text or not. I still haven't answered cause I still don't know what to answer back. But this video helped me realise it's better to keep no contact, unless he calls me o shows real interest.
@@KatyaMorozova thankyou for your wonderful videos,so helpful..if your ever in Australia, I'd love to meet you .hope that doesn't sound creepy.. thankyou again
@@geywhdgskdb hello! Well.. he reached out after some months and told me he really regrets his decision. I didn't answer for a long time ( cause I had moved on) and I asked him why.. he said that he went to therapy and that he feels better with himself now ( which I feel happy about). Still, I told him I don't want to be in a relationship now. And... We talk from time to time. It's been a year since he broke up with me and he still sends me msg saying he misses me
What about when an FA breaks up with a DA because they felt the lack of effort and constant busyness warranted it. Now no contact. Videos are always about the one broken up with but what about when you almost HAD to break up with them but are now suffering and praying they reach out. A twist on usual no contact. I would love to hear
I'm a FA and broke up with my DA boyfriend once. He never wanted to bend ( comprise) and we got back together several times but, as much as I know he loves me, he still would leave over and over again because of small issues. Whenever he felt vulnerable, he'd leave for days. It made me suicidal. I would never block or go NO contact. I can be friends and would love him to be back in my life...one day, when he is ready.
Dated one for 3 months and he ended things with me. He's already talking to new ppl. Not even 3 weeks after we parted ways. It hurts. I doubt he'll even reach out to me ever again as we kind of had closure. Even if he does (I highly doubt), nothing is going to change because I feel like he has no insight in his behavior and attachment style. You nailed it. The guy does not have verbal romantic gesture or expression. He would do things to express himself. Oh and he is definitely very physical and intimate which is how he shows affection, but when it comes to expressing his emotions through words....he blanks out. And when I express myself verbally how I feel, he blanks out or switches topics.
Hello I'm so excited my relationship was fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,I got help from a great man who brought us back together......
@@geywhdgskdb that was the end of it…no contact since. I knew when he said we should not see each other anymore on the last day, he chose to walk away. He hugged me really tight in that last moment. As for me, I moved on with my life as that is what I can and need to do. Once in a while I get random memories of him, but it is all in the past. Of course my mind gets curious and wonder what things would be like if he worked on himself, but we can’t change someone. It’s clear we have crossed paths and won’t again. 😔
@@KatyaMorozova Hi, I was curious. If my ex DA girlfriend sends a text but is really just a "ping" without any sustenance are you saying just not to respond until it does or respond but just letting us know not to read to much into the fact that they sent a text?
Hello I'm so excited my relationship was fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,I got help from a great man who brought us back together
Great video, you do a fabulous job, your willingness to try to explain the behavior and characteristics of people with attachments issues fills a void in the relationship self help arenas. Thank you
Thanks for this video - it particularly helped me in thinking about which kinds of reach out are worthy of response or not. My ex left me 12 weeks ago, after 4 years together. For the past few weeks, my ex has been liking some of my social media posts about once or twice a week. I have been a bit confused by it, but not responded by reaching out to my ex. My ex left me, so it's not my place to reach out. If my ex wants to try to work things out, then adult communication has to take place, and liking social media posts isn't sufficient. Thanks again for this video.
I’m a secure, and recently had my first experience with a DA. It was very confusing and disorienting when they pulled back and went cold as soon as the relationship was at the point most would move on to committed or at least exclusive. What I found was their core unspoken message is “I’m attracted to you. I think I want to be with you. But stay away.” You can’t fix that. Move on.
I just want to say that if you mistaken your ex as a DA and they're an FA reaching out and you don't respond to their minimum "I miss you/I'm thinking of you/how are you?" texts when they're swinging anxious, then you're not going to like it when they go avoidant after you ignore them lol. Trust me when I say jump on that text and see how they respond first.
It's Anxious Insecure. Not preoccupied. Preoccupied from what!! Your thoughts and feelings. We all have that as a human beings even for a secure person They don't come back trust me I know it's been a yr.. Ta da!!!
Lol I go a couple hours or days and she blows up my phone number, im blocked on everything and doing no contact. But when she reaches out good things actually happen and it's genuine, tearing me apart coz alot of these videos are so accurate and I feel like I got no hope left 😔
Hello I'm so excited my relationship was fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,I got help from a great man who brought us back together
Hello I'm so excited my relationship was fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,I got help from a great man who brought us back together......
My ex and I broke up 2 months ago and in that time I realized he is a DA. We did NC for a month and then he reached out with apologies. Two weeks later I responded and we have been talking ever since. He said that he is not ready to be in a relationship because he still has to work on himself, even though he says he loves me. What do I do? I have been focusing on me, and he knows I won't simply wait around. But the middle ground is a bit weird, as we both do still care.
Same stuff. Once in a while he will call and say how confused he is in that he wants to be with me but knows he still has to work on himself. I get it to a degree, as with his work and family, he can’t sacrifice in the ways that are needed for a relationship. I’m just trying to focus on me I guess :)
@@gracewiley4902 my DA just said goodbye to me because he said I was mad for requesting his friends in social media. Maybe he thought I was spying on him or something
My ex reached out after 9months NC on my birthday. It was a nice text but no direct question in it, so I just replied "thank you".after he hurt me so much by breaking up with me I couldn't do more
9 months eh? Wow. For me its been about 6, pure NO contact. All this time ive been broken, devastated and always positive id take him back. Now im not so sure after all the pain, youre right. Did yours actually want to get back w you though? Mostly I wonder what theyve been doing during all this time away...
Hello I'm so excited my relationship was fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,I got help from a great man who brought us back together
Hmmmm my ex reached out to me yesterday. We’re having a casual friendly convo but I honestly don’t mind…..he broke up with me , yes it was very painful but I’m mostly healed, working on myself and my toxic patterns. Some people might be okay with the casual relationship after the breakup. It feels good to not have that trauma bond. 😊
Definitely gotta see more actions vs. Words... i thought atleast some words here and there was a great step..but still no discussion on the breakup. I value myself to see actions and ima still give their distance.
Hello I'm so excited my relationship was fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,I got help from a great man who brought us back together......
Don't do their dance. I find he's trying to start fights not resolve them because the blame must be on me. Don't be their scapegoat you're great and it's not your fault it's their crap. They just want to lure you in to pin it on you. Make them carry their own junk.
WEll, that's true...my DA can't show emotion or talk about them, but he shows it in the bedroom. Now he has pulled away, but he was contacting and teasing me. He liked social media posts and his friends still all think we are together. True that he has no feeling for how much he broke my heart; last night after flirting and saying I could come and get my stuff, then he wanted to leave it in a shed! I'm sorry, but being unwilling to end it in person, because all this time we have hugged and kissed and kept in touch during 'no contact' [whatever that is] because we work nearby. I still had hope, and all the other videos say to wait for them to wait and respond, because they are the kind of videos for the person wanting to get together. No way mine would call or say they want to talk...he is too much a DA! Besides being my lover, he is my best friend...last night saying I was 'scary from day one' because I loved him, just broke my heart more...this after flirting!
@@hadizaumarsuleiman7564 no I don't want to pay a witch doctor for a scam...thank you very much. Plus this was 9 months ago...I fixed my own problem. You people should be banned from these sites!
@@hadizaumarsuleiman7564 I am so tired of you people trolling and trying to sell a voodoo doctor cure for money...go away! Same cut and paste in broken English on each site you troll
Hello I'm so excited my relationship was fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,I got help from a great man who brought us back together......
My DA boyfriend left me and had my best friend bring him his things. We lived together for a year. It's been 4 months and he has blocked me ( again) From any communication.
She does this ping through Instagram after two weeks after the "I'm working on myself and healing, I dont want to date you or anyone else" then a week later she will send bread crumbs to see if I will reply! This has been going on for over 3years now. I know I am as to BLAME as she is! But with in the last week I feel I am getting stronger. She is very non-comital but can't stay away for long. She isn't the type to play or juggle multiple men. I trust her in that sense. But I now have to play hard ball and ignore these meaningless reach outs! The only way I am going to allow her to have me back is if we start attending counseling together! That way she is held accountable for her actions! Until she offers! SILENCE!
Great video! It’s only been a few days for me and my ex DA just reached out, they’re the one who broke it off. She’s asking me how I am doing and idk if I’ll respond or not. I don’t hear any action.
Hello I'm so excited my relationship was fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,I got help from a great man who brought us back together......
@@smonaful.. He tx asking if i was in a new relationship. Then we started calling each other After a few weeks we decided to try again just seeing each other twice a wk After a month he moved bk in.
Hello I'm so excited my relationship was fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,I got help from a great man who brought us back together......
Hello I'm so excited my relationship was fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,I got help from a great man who brought us back together
He needed space a year ago came back with text not a phone call. Hope you are doing well. Love you. Miss you. Thats not someone who is being real. He was dating the whole time. He wanted attention or validation. Dont trust it. Blocked him again. My healing got interrupted. He is the past.
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This is insane. I got ghosted. 3 days later a druggie moved into her house. Its been a month now and nothing, druggie just hangs out, her and i did everything hike, motorcycles, theater, cooked on and on. It was the closest ive ever felt to another human being. Then bam, ghosted. WTF is wrong with these cruel A$$holes. I pray she reaches out someday so i can play games with her.
My DA ex girlfriend after 7 months of dating broke up with me with no reason whatsoever. Her reason was ridicolous and it was just a excuse to leave. I tried to convince her not to do it but i never begged or anything. After 5 weeks of no contact she reached out to me without anything significant. I talk with her like with a buddy. Just few sentences a day. Its just a small talk. She never mentioned anything about us and what happenned. She reached out to me four days in a row with good morning text. And my question is: what does she want from me???? I am so confused...
He invited a long text because he knew I communicate best in writing. I sent that long text, too soon before I could compose thoughts. Then I chased and he pulled away. Two months later he casually apologises for 'being useless' and tells me 'life gets in the way' but asks how I am. I miss him so much but reply two days later with 'Its been busy but I've appreciated the space, hope you're well too?' Absolutely nothing back.
my da broke up with me 2 days ago and now he texted me a good morning message with a two quotes, “ Sometimes some people can be a test for you” and another one about feelings during seperation of sorts. The reason he broke up with me was we were both insecurely attached and scratching each other’s wounds of abandonment during a conflict. He said we should seperate and work on our issues individually. i initiated a no contact and now he’s breaking it. i dont know how to respond to this shit.
I have an anxious attachment style and I broke off the relationship. He texts me goodnight every night. He seems to have avoidant attachment style. I really care for him and know he was pulling away. I am not sure if this is the kind of person i want to engage though he is a very sweet man.
Hello I'm so excited my relationship was fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,I got help from a great man who brought us back together......
he blocks me (after emotional interaction) on text and then i end it via email lol... but then he eventually reaches out and the cycle repeats.. ughhghghgh.
Hello I'm so excited my relationship was fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,I got help from a great man who brought us back together......
thats whats happening to me right now. I dont want him back, but he texed me after 2,5 month on no contact.. he updated me with his life ond said he is always there for me and if we have a drink sometime
Do DA’s come back? It’s been 3 months since she ended a serious relationship between us (3 years together). She did reach out 2x within the first month of no contact (basic conversation), and the other we tried to discuss what happened but she left me on read (maybe deactivated). I have just been lost and not sure if they do come back because what we had was real and the way she left was so sudden (which I know DA’s do sometimes).
DA's can come back. Typically, people come back when they recognize that they may have misread the situation or done something wrong.... Or they really start to miss you.
Hello I'm so excited my relationship was fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,I got help from a great man who brought us back together
Hello I'm so excited my relationship was fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,I got help from a great man who brought us back together
Omg my ex which I think is DA is like that he calls me every other two weeks and comes here takes me out and make plans of us doing “business together” and I am like so confused as I am thinking you broke up with me I expect if he wants me back he would tell me I ges I been Misunderstanding him this whole time but I want him to grovel he really broke my heart I want him to say it I dnt know if I can get past him not expressing how he feels and wants so we stuck in this rut where he doesn’t know what to say and I am like I will wait 🤷🏾♀️. I do love him just that I have a need for communication 😭😭😭. And I dnt know if I can be at a point where I dnt need this. But thank you for this people been telling me but I ges I needed to hear it from a stranger I will not get a big apology and a big expression of how much he loves me and wants me back. I hate that he uses things for me money doesn’t cut it for me I need him to communicate with me like a grown man he messed us up he must fix it if he wants me in his life period
Last time I was with him he had started opening doors for me which he had not done since the beginning of the relationship but I am still so mad at him everything he does makes me angry cos I am expecting him to say something and he doesn’t so I just flip and we fyt and he flees and shuts down and I am like I am over this then two weeks goes by with no communication then he calls again 🤷🏾♀️. And I keep expecting the same thing and it doesn’t come 🤦🏾♀️. I dnt know 😩😩😩😩😩
@@msgoodbrown hahahahaaha yes well since the last time he has been calling almost every week,sometimes 3 times a week, as apposed to once in two weeks this week he sent me old intimite videos of us when we first met, mind you he calls me for random things like I saw this it reminded of you I laugh cos mostly I dnt know what else to say,he still makes sure I am good in terms of the stuff I need he takes such good care of me but I haven’t seen him. He hasn’t said anything about us getting back together but 3 days back he randomly said I should come and see you 1 day 🙈 I just acted cool and said okay no problem, just in case you are wondering it’s been 6 months since we broke up in the six months he has come to see me but for business etc sometimes he makes up excuses as to why he calling me and why we should meet I know this however I just dnt feel like I should be the one who starts the conversation I ddnt mess us up he did and I do love him a lot and I wish we could just work things out but I need him to communicate I am hoping he gets it’s together. I do realize that I have a strong character and he probably is used to people who just assume him being nice is a sign of getting back together and jump right back into it but I am not like that I am interested to see what he ends up doing that would make us be good again for now I focus on myself and my life and let whoever do whatever. Some say I am selfish but I love this man with all my heart and I want all of him not his money and if that’s not what he is offering me then I will stay by myself I am good but if he wants to be with me he is going to tell me I am not going to assume just because he is being nice then I should initiate a relationship I like my guys to be the leaders. Also he really messed up so I think he is probably scared to speak about it cos he doesn’t know what he is going to say and I am not even hateful towards him I am cool I appreciate everything he does for me if he needs help I offer it where I can but I am not calling him or making small talk with him so I dnt know but No I am not ready to let go just yet I think he really loves me he just hasn’t met someone who is not phased money after he disassociates and I think he wasn’t expecting to love me after his episode so now he is in a jive and I am not lifting finger to fix his mess😊
My biggest fear of being married to him (we were engaged) is his episodes of disassociating I would have to accept that at times he i will have to be the mother by myself and guys I really see it I am learning a lot at first I really thought he was a mea person or he is playing games with my head but after this six months of our separation and I am sober from emotions I realize that he is dealing with his own pain and some of the things really have got nothing to do with me and I think he wants to be loved and have a good relationship he just doesn’t have the tools to cope with all the emotions that goes into having a healthy relationship and that makes me sad cos I know I cnt fix it for him it neeeds him I have my own wounds to heal so all I can do is pray for him and have some empathy towards him especially because this man has protected and had my back even in the mist of everything more then any of the available guys I have met, he is as loyal as me and I have longed for someone like that it’s just that his way of dealing with emotions is not healthy so I dnt know but like the video said guys it’s really not because they are mean or they are out to get you they are just dealing with their own issues and I think we are soo quick to forsake people and judge them when you dnt realize what’s beneath the surface. The only thing I am praying for is that we both find a way to heal and create a good life together. Everyone needs love❤️. I think I am not so mad at him anymore like before 🤣🤣🤣
Omgosh you are sooo secure. I envy how sober your emotions are. I can rationalize as well as you but my emotions takes on a knee persona and it’s definitely pushed my DA away after i confronted him. I really admire how well you’re handling. I pray that God give me the tools to handle myself with such grace as well.
What about if it was you to break up with the DA and you ( pathetically, I know...) reached out the very next day to fix things? I deeply regret the break up but it seems he is not interested in a reconciliation
It means that it's your turn to share the new gifts that are completely disgusting no thx I have 2 hands and if I must I will name a pet rock her name because it will be the exact same experience minus the disgusting + multiple people she has been with since her last times 4 months ago. So I do not have any more words for her.
Ex reached out to me a week ago after 21days of no contact to just ask “how are you? and discuss something about money related” I only responded for the money issue. I ended the conversation after that because I didn’t wanted any casual talk that didn’t involve the relationship…x.x after that…we haven’t spoken again. It’s been… 7days of no contact again.
Michael Andersen Well…it’s a long story but…let’s just say that eventually after the second month we got back together and gave things a chance again. it was a very annoying process but we managed to talk things out fully.
Hello I'm so excited my relationship was fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,I got help from a great man who brought us back together
Good lord this video nails my ex to a T!! Ive been breadcrumbed for 9 months from her” DA”!! Ive fell For it and finally realized im done ..she likes my posts(cheesy as that is) ive heard i miss u.. ive heard the sorrys for what she did and many other things along the way ..had brief phone calls and many gibberish texts “to see if I’m there basically there I’ve found out“ as u say in this video. Her birthday is coming up soon and Ive gone back and forth as to reach out. She reached out to mine few weeks ago and i didn’t respond for awhile.. i don’t believe i should at all..as it’s pointless I’ve said i am not an option to her and that u need to figure yourself out (she did say she is finally working on herself though) any advice !! DA s need a-lot of work to realize relationships and i tried to no contact for sooo long and she always always does the reach out for validation and to know im here. And every time i just know its means nothing and yet i respond !! One of the hardest things to do was walk away from a DA. ..i feel for all who have dealt with these types of people. I can fully tell u its hard when u love one and have to fully let go and walk away !!!
@@TimStJohn-xp8rv i finally walked away for good 3 weeks ago ..i called her on breadcrumbing and friendzoning and said i dont wanna be just friends..she continued to reach out here and there only to validate and i got more i miss yous and yet no commitment again ..so i said i cant do this anymore. Please stop reaching out. I dont want to be just friends …so yes there is the update!! Walking away for good 👍..there was no choice. DA S are very difficult to deal with and confusing. Unfortunately sometimes we gotta just say bye and thank them for a lesson learned !! Time to move on …
Hello I'm so excited my relationship was fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,I got help from a great man who brought us back together
My x whose between a da and a fa. Reached out with a long distance phone call. Apologized for having hurt me. Said she never thought about how much it hurt me. Shes not willing to change. She wants to pay off her debt first. Not sure how to take this in between.. she acknowledged her faults, but then isn't ready to change and didn't seem to want a future with me other than friendship but admitted I cared and did more for her than anyone probably would ever.
It seems like you already have your answer. You wrote it in your comment. I would believe anyone who says they're not willing to change and from whom you sense that they don't want a future with you.
Borderline narcissist. You should be glad she discarded you. You are a wonderful person who deserves a reciprocal relationship. Don’t accept bread crumbs. You deserve a feast at a communal table! A fully functional, healthy relationship
Hello I'm so excited my relationship was fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,I got help from a great man who brought us back together
After I applied 21 days of NC, my ex reaches out by text w "I'm changing churches in the event You don't want to run into me there, if you stay ill find church closer to my house." What the heck does that really mean?
If I got that message, what I would understand is that they want to know if I'm okay still seeing them at church or if I'm completely done interacting with them for the time being. It's odd, because you think that they'd be a bit more decisive on the logistics of church on Sunday. To be completely open, I'd interpret it as them trying to crack the door open, to so see where exactly you guys stand, even if it's disguised as discussing Church matters. It could be them trying to see if you're willing to fight for them perhaps or just be open to conversation. However they don't want to openly say whatever their intentions are in the case that it ruins their pride because they don't know what you're going to say. God mind games are really fucking stupid.
Hello I'm so excited my relationship was fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,I got help from a great man who brought us back together......
Whether they reach out with good intentions or selfish intentions, it doesn't really matter unless they've done the work on themselves. It will just be more of the same cowardly behavior
Yes, definitely actions need to follow intentions!
True
Hello I'm so excited my relationship was fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,I got help from a great man who brought us back together
Whatzapp him now......
@@samranabraham1843 who helped
DA' s typically start off being the closest at the beginning of the relationship. Showing attentiveness , caring and intimacy . Once they actually start to have (feelings) for you. And you for them .Game over .they shut down on all aspects of the relationship out of their own fear and insecurity. Sex becomes nonexistent
Any attempt to talk about the relationship becomes criticism and they pull back more.
I couldn’t have put it better way, this is exactly what I’ve gone through. I will do the work for my healing and make sure to choose securely attached man in the future instead of attracting DAs..
Spot on that’s exactly what happened to me ! Everything was seamless ! Until he pushed me away , broke up ! Him chasing me for over 2 years , but so hot and cold ! I keep my distance , cordial , compassionate , with empathy , but not so close to damage myself ! God bless !
@@tj4787 him chasing you? I didn't see that in my situation. I don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing. Mine would argue with me when I start to pull away. We would start to work on things, and then she would just shut down again. Absolutely maddening
Wow. This is a spot on mirror of what happened to me. Excellent reply.
Wow this is accurate
Yeah, he reached out after a month of no contact, apologized for breaking up, and was so willing to work things out, just to deactivate again one week later. Do not bother with avoidants. Very few will actually work to be secure and even if they become "more secure" it is still some version of avoidant incapable of meeting the needs of a healthy relationship. I am a secure attachment style person, and it's better to find other secure people.
It means they want to use you again. Up until you attempt to get some of your own needs met in the "relationship." Then they'll disappear again. Rinse and repeat. Until you finally believe that you deserve better treatment and don't take them back. I've got some experience with these folks.
Hello I'm so excited my relationship was fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,I got help from a great man who brought us back together......
Whatzapp him now....
Here is what you do, act indifferent. Back off become not always available. They chase
DAs will make a secure into an anxious mess.
Yep she did to me. The sneaky and cold behavior. I thought she was cheating smh.
The person wasn’t “dismissive/avoidant” when they pursued this. They were quite assertive actually. They only became “avoidant” when they realized there would be follow-through. I’m not anxious, I just notice when things change for no good reason. Especially when there is so much fun. Their sudden avoidant behavior is wishy-washy and that’s their problem. If an honest connection is desired, they’re going to have to be an adult and be willing to engage as adults to see where it might go by being authentic, or just let it go and stop trying to keep a half-hearted connection because of their own insecurities and needs.
My avoidant ran away and said he felt 'betrayed, pushed and pressured' when I expressed the need for more authenticity.
@@redrumax Sound like a cop out? Pushed and pressured? Come on, is he five? If he started out open and trying to "win you over" why wouldn't you express your need for authenticity if that is what you seek? His reaction perhaps shows you are looking for different things - he could just say that, not blame you. People like that should be honest, get help or stay out of the game.
@@emotionalrobot632 31 and a virgin according to himself as he cannot get close to people and prefers online relationships that he can push away at whim.
@@redrumax maybe he wasn't avoidant. They usually are very authentic. Maybe it was a fake who ran before u could figure it out? Or maybe not. Just an idea.
You couldn t have said it better. In my situation, he even asked for honesty in the begining, and ended the relationship because “he didn t want to pretend anymore”. But also with a very honest line: “once the relationship became sure, I didn t want it anymore”. These people should go to jail and be deprived of any human contact until they learn to appreciate it.
To all my AP peeps. Work on yourself first! Set boundaries not only with DAs but with anyone including yourself! Us APs tend to lack boundaries and put others needs first than ours. So its super important to learn how to meet your needs first! Secure yourself! You can only work out with a DA if they put in their own self work too! If not youll always be triggered! If youre not worthy to a DA youll be worthy to someone else! But most of all be worthy to yourself!!
Well put!
@@KatyaMorozova thank you! I comment specifically on this vid because during the NO contact time is the perfect time for one to self reflect and work on finding a secure attatchment rather than focusing on the DA.
Wse words
Dismissive avoidance would never say let's talk lol
Right.
So true!!! That's why they are avoidants!
I have had the misfortunate of marrying a narcissist, dating a bipolar individual but the most dysfunctional relationship was with a DA. I finally found someone who is fully functional like me. Night and day. When you aren’t aware of mental disorders it can really ruin your life. How do you understand someone’s behavior when you have no reference point. I have made it a point to study personality disorders to protect myself.
You sound like a professional victim
Kari, it sounds like the biggest benefit you could do yourself is simply working on your partner choosing skills. From the way you describe it, your instincts are downright awful when it comes to picking someone to start a relationship with. That's the first issue you need to investigate and resolve...why are you making such awful choices for potential partners? Are you naturally a "fixer" trying to do the impossible with a DA or a narcissist and change them?
Well the behavior slowly leaks. It’s not apparent in the beginning and if you’ve never seen this kind of behavior before you have no contrast. These people must have some inkling of there behavior because it was years, decades that went by before I noticed something was off. Everything ran smoothly before it didn’t. They are cunning, they have to be or they won’t get anywhere. Another thing I noticed was the more you were on to them, the worse their behavior became as if fighting back for control. And when they know they’ve been discovered, poof they are gone. I’m a highly sensitive empath, the perfect target for personality disorders. And thanks for your rude comments, I always came out unscathed and on top. I learned a lot. I’ve never had a victim mentality. Because I am aware that through our greatest suffering comes our greatest learning. Furthermore these people weren’t just off the street they were from my hometown, people I have known for 43 and 46 years. People who did not display this behavior when we were young. I told the latest DA you have never displayed a sincere interest in befriending me therefore I am simply not interested in being with you. And then I blocked him. So I’m not some clueless dumb shit. I give people a fair chance to prove themselves and then I always walk away. I have never stuck around in a bad hopeless situation.
Wow, insightful, thank you
@@kariivins-senft9302 TELL HIM! 🎤🎙📣👏🏾👏🏽👏🏼👏🏻👏👏🏿
Oh my god you just reinforced my feeling that DA’s are like narcissists. Look up “hoovering” and how they try to suck you back in and you just spiral. You gave me an idea what to do next time he reaches out in his own sweet time via text! do nothing then explain my boundary: l told him before “l would rather not write essays”. I am so freaking tired of him controlling the dynamics. I am proud of myself how l handled his latest withdrawal of radio silence. I am an anxious avoidant doing my best to act secure. Fake it till you make it
Hello I'm so excited my relationship was fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,I got help from a great man who brought us back together......
Whatzapp him now....
†13609219711⏭⏯??????
They aren't like narcissists....they flat out ARE narcissists. Don't waste the time on a DA unless they've demonstrated they've sought help , which is EXTREMELY unlikely.
@@dr.options he broke it off with me after a few months of dating. I was confused after some time he contacted me again saying if l needed help with anything l could rely on him. We were seeing each other on occasion as strictly friends. I found his dating profile that he updated, he told me before he's not looking for a relationship but after the break up he's now looking. I was be hurt and confused. I should have confronted him then but instead l just stopped contacting him, it was me who always reached out. I thought whatever, he probably should focus on his schooling, he was finishing up his master's degree.
Unfortunately l always had a thing and even if l tried to move on with someone else years after l still thought about him, like the one that got away.
A year later He knew l was going through unrelated personal difficulty. He did reach out to me via social media saying he was concerned and if l needed to talk to someone, to contact him but only via messenger.
From then on we have only had a one sided textual relationship. Never talked on the phone. Even so l craved his attention and bombard him with texts but he would take a long time to get back to me or his replies very controlled, short like he didn't want to reveal anything about his personal life to me. If l called him, he would never pick up the phone.
After three years out of the blue he contacted me saying he was in the hospital getting treatment and we ended up flirting intensely over the course of a few days. I decided this time not to take it seriously, besides l worked hard to get over him. Flirting can just be a fun activity on its own.
But what shocked me was that he revealed he wanted to physically see me and wanted me as his companion on his next vacation time a month or so from now. It felt like we were getting close again, in the intimate sense not in the usual superficial thing it was all these years. I thought we were on good terms so l tried calling him but yet again he wouldn't pick up.
Unfortunately our textual banter got into a political dimension and l noticed that his participation became lighter. I kept going expressing my thoughts and there was no reply. He ghosted me. Called him, didn't reply . In desperation l wrote a long apology text to his personal number, l wasn't sure if he read my texts any more but l still did it. Surprisingly he wrote back promptly he appreciated my concern and accepted my apology and when he's ready he would reach out. I was gutted of course. I told myself that this was it, he doesn't honor his promise l would go now contact, l want of this rollercoaster for good.
A month went by l managed to not contact him again but by then l needed answers, l also wanted to tell him off. I did already in a very polite way that l wanted to him to talk to me like a real person so l don't have to keep writing essays in my apology to him. I finally noticed a pattern The only time he would hurry to text me back was when l confront him for his cold, rude behavior or say l would no longer contact him. Usually he would change the subject by making invoking sympathy for him somehow. Conveniently, he never did once apologize for his appalling hot/cold distant behavior towards me what did l ever do to deserve this???? Doubly hurtful.
Fed up l picked up the phone to call him, surprisingly he actually picked up. He told me in detail his medical condition and his plans after his treatment concludes that he would totally treat himself... He said that after this freak medical emergency it's probably better to have someone. I calmly waited, everything that came out of his mouth, none of his plans included me, singing a completely different tune.
I did not bother to confront him on that.Nor did l offer to be that person to him.
I noticed again he was up to his old tricks trying get sympathy from me. That's when l reiterated I'm glad we're talking like this Because l really don't like texting long essays to him. 'Oh really', he laughed!!! That's when l politely said well it was nice talking to you, l really enjoyed this long conversation we had, it would be great to hear your voice more often. I said goodbye.
The ball was in his court. I let him know l wasn't going to text him and I'm sure he got the message that if he wanted to do anything with him he needed to communicate it by phone. Long story short he never did. After giving him a few chances, texting friendly cordial things to him now and then, never did l throw a tantrum. he still didn't show any interest. No more texts, much less a phone call.... I've moved on for good. Conclusion: he is a narcissistic coward. He always had a way of controlling contact to his liking, ugh.
This was a great reminder. When it comes to social media, do not respond to emoji reactions and non-chalant communication
Thank you for your videos. My ex DA broke up with me a few days after declaring his immense love for me and making plans to have a baby, move in together and eventually get married. He justified himself by saying he will never meet my needs (how true!) and that "he's not feeling it". If this isn't emotional cruelty, I don't know what is.
That's great you can now move on and heal. Don't ever contact him again. I'd go as far as erasing and blocking. If needed...
@veral2274 ahh the old "I'll never meet your needs, you deserve more, I can't be what you want" despite being so until they go whacko.
Don't give DAs another chance. Be happy and fulfilled without them.
After 2 1/2 months of being broken up My DA reached out on Christmas by leaving me a gift on my porch, treats for the dog he bought me, and cat treats for my cats. He sent a lengthy message about how he was full of regret and that he was hopeful he could get to a place where he could tLk to me without feeling ashamed. I was confused and responded with texts. He would not answer my messages. Finally after 3 days of asking for a response he sent one saying he wasn’t comfortable opening up to me because he knew how much I loved him.
Hello I'm so excited my relationship was fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,I got help from a great man who brought us back together
Whatzapp him now......
What the fck?! Clearly DAs need therapy
Their reasons for breaking up with people they are in relationships with, usually never make any logical sense and its usually at the expense of their partners being blindsided at the breakup, because they dont explain how they feel or what they are thinking especially if they are unaware they are a DA..they really dont know why they feel the way that they do or why they behave In such matters that sabotage their relationships its really exhausting when you know nothing about attachment styles lol
wtf
🤣🤣🤣🤣
I an disagreeing with when they reach out even if it's casual...they don't like rejection...if they reached out...they are being casual because they have no idea if you are with another person.
Can you make a video on how to AVOID dating an avoidant!
Listen to them carefully and observe them: they usually tell you who they are . Also, pray to God to reveal the intentions..
You have to really pay attention and be present during conversations
Listen for statements that are confusing, contradicting, or things that may indicate this person is insecure, emotionally struggling, or not happy with his or herself
Listening to everything they say, is critical. If something is off, it will come out
They always tell right away that they hurt woman and are not normal. You think it is a joke
Everyone, please recognize that not responding will likely mean the DA won't reach out again. Yes, it's a casual text, but if you want to talk tonthw DA again, RESPOND. An initial casual text is them putting out feelers. A DA (or basically any dumper) isn't going to send a super vulnerable text in their FIRST text. I'm sorry but everyone please go watch Coach Lee. No hate on this woman but this info is fundamentally flawed if you want to get back together with your ex
Hello I'm so excited my relationship was fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,I got help from a great man who brought us back together
Whatzapp him now......
Coach Lee actually helped me a lot, so I stand by you. You should respond and after a few text conversations, ask them out and try to make things work... Don't try to rush it, don't try to control the outcome of those conversations, as hard as it is try to believe things will happen naturally, don't be needy. And be careful... It's very easy to fall for breadcrumbs; it's also very hard to have a casual meetup with someone you used to date... It'll feel like you're going in circles sometimes, and you need to know when it's time to let go
@Flagirl1985 some breakups should be fixed... Some shouldn't, probably most
Clearly you don't get the point of No Contact, Abel.
Thank you for your perspective and honesty. I trust your videos because you don’t attack and blame the DA.
Despite it (my dynamic) not being healthy or ideal, I appreciate the respect you show and is why I’m following you and wanting to learn more so that I can have a healthy relationship one day.
I love my DA ex and I empathize with his childhood pain, I know he does mine too in his own way, but he shuts down as soon as he feels empathy. I know when he tries to help, instead of just listen, he comes across harsh and insensitive and then feels like he’s not good enough when his reaction makes me feel worse about my situation. I think I’m overall secure but once I get anxious it then it snowballs. What’s confusing is we’ve been broken up for six months, and now after apologizing to him for not validating him as often as he needed (because he was upset almost daily over absolutely nothing external for me to even know there was an issue) I was walking on eggshells by the hour.
Because I apologized for not validating him, he now is starting to try to be closer and hear me out and give me the time of day, in very small pieces, he even called me when he’s only been resorting to text. Im learning that we need to validate our partners even when they feel a way that it so out of touch with reality but I keep my boundary regarding blame as I’m very sensitive to being blamed.
He also agreed to just listen when I need to talk to him and asked me to remind him in the moment. I see steps that he’s wanting to try again and being less self centered but I’m exhausted after so long. So when he dodged my question about spending time together, I decided to take space to heal myself because it’s hard to know if I’m actually wanted it I’m doing most of the work. He prefers ghosting over saying goodbye, he let me know that he prefers that someone ghosts him so I did and it feels wrong. He has amazing qualities and as you said, most passionate in the bedroom and during the honey moon stage. He has so much potential and at one point genuinely asked me to show him how to have a healthy relationship. I’m not even sure how or what that means because I’ve put so much work into my own mental health and for me to invest that deeply in someone who isn’t saying they want therapy to learn better habits feels like too much of a gamble for my own mental health. We work together so it’s not easy, I’m civil and try to avoid him. He was very committed at the beginning, which is why I’ve stayed invested far beyond the breakup. It doesn’t feel like it’s paying off and your videos help me put things in to perspective. If he wants to reconcile, he can contact me in person since we work together it would be easy to do. I’ll leave him blocked for now so I can stay emotionally stable for myself at the moment.
You made two crucial mistakes, you got involved with a "man" I say that lightly in your workplace. Do not ever do that again. Your the woman you receive you don't go halves with a "broken guy" in work. You need to prioritise your needs first. So healing work is involved before you pursue another relationship.
I feel you so much - they can have some great qualities and even go as far as asking for help from you to be better for you - but in the end you are right imo to not invest deeply in someone who isn't going into therapy - it will be at the expense of your mental health. Take care of yourself first in relationships - you're the only one who can - then you can care for others - not the other way around
Just call it what it is... narcissism and borderline behavoir.
@@MrTwinkieeater EXACTLY
If you don’t respond at all you are telling them “go away, I have nothing to say to you”. It is rude. A short polite reply is better. Especially if you are interested in getting them back. Just don’t engage. But be polite. One short message back. Ended with a “I hope you are well”. In other words cut the conversation right there.
She sent me an email last week at 9 pm asking what to do with my mail. We had already discussed prior to the email that the mail would go to the neighbors house. I didn't reply to that email. Then 2 days later she sent another email apologizing for sending that email. She also stated that there was something wrong with her email and noticed she wasn't getting her mail. So if I responded she didn't see it.
I still have not replyed to her.
This clip is super helpful because you give clear examples of when to respond or not. That can feel very stressful, just trying to decide what they're really saying or NOT saying.. Thank you 😊
I’m glad you found it helpful. Thanks for the feedback. ☺️
Agreed. The examples you gave tell me that my ex is just playing and not serious and what type of response is warranted. Thank you for this.
Hello I'm so excited my relationship was fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,I got help from a great man who brought us back together
Whatzapp him now......
What it means? They still don’t want you!!! Every time he came back I hoped for a different outcome. I don’t know why he kept coming back only to tell me he wanted me less and less each time. Just when I thought I was healing he’s come up to hurt me all over again. The lady time was the last. After two years of pain, I finally blocked him.
Hello I'm so excited my relationship was fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,I got help from a great man who brought us back together
Whatzapp him now......
After 21 days of NC, my ex reached out with an update on his mental health and how he’s getting help, but that he’s still not sure what he wants.
Cool. I didn’t ask. Bye boy ✌️
did you see him again? I know it‘s been two years:)
The DA I’m dealing with reached out with a simple sorry and I said I was sorry too because we were both wrong. It meant a lot though because they have a magical power to convince themselves that they’re right no matter what
Guess they’re not as bad as most DA’s
@@nadinegomez8858 they deactivated again and now we’re not speaking at all lol
Hello I'm so excited my relationship was fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,I got help from a great man who brought us back together
Whatzapp him now......
Means nothing.
Want supply.
Do what they teached you, ignore.
😂😂
This video is great!! I have watched a lot of videos on DAs but this is great with specific situations and what to expect depending on how the DA reaches out.
So glad Nicole! Thanks again for the feedback.
This helped a lot, thank You! I got a voice message today, after 3 weeks of not seeing and one week of no contact. The message was of no value because there obviously is a huge neon pink elephant in the room and all they got to say is hey, I hope you are doing fine. Fine???? I am about to eat you alive.... 😂
About to eat you alive 😂😂😂
They typically don’t reach out. They also block you from all forms of communication because of incessant calling/texting/emailing as well as writing letters. There’s been no communication for about a month.
Yes this video cleared out everything for me. Mine's (ex) not coming back.
Your content is very good and helpful. Very honest, respectful and clear analysis. Thank you.
All you maybe doing is inviting a narcissist come back into your life
Too good and precise!
This is the definition of shedding light
4th time i wach he video
Anex to ur video : if the avoid has put enough effort for you to respond, keep it playful short lifht hearted funny and never let it sit that you want to come back more than them !
Thank you being so specific about different situations with DA’s.
My pleasure.
Hello I'm so excited my relationship was fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,I got help from a great man who brought us back together......
Whatzapp him now....
†13609219711⏭⏯??????
Thanks! It was really helpful since I didn't know whether I had to answer to an " I miss you" text or not. I still haven't answered cause I still don't know what to answer back. But this video helped me realise it's better to keep no contact, unless he calls me o shows real interest.
Thanks for sharing. Glad it was helpful.
@@KatyaMorozova thankyou for your wonderful videos,so helpful..if your ever in Australia, I'd love to meet you .hope that doesn't sound creepy.. thankyou again
Hello, may I know the status of the situation now ? It'll be really helpful ❤
@@geywhdgskdb hello! Well.. he reached out after some months and told me he really regrets his decision. I didn't answer for a long time ( cause I had moved on) and I asked him why.. he said that he went to therapy and that he feels better with himself now ( which I feel happy about). Still, I told him I don't want to be in a relationship now. And... We talk from time to time. It's been a year since he broke up with me and he still sends me msg saying he misses me
What about when an FA breaks up with a DA because they felt the lack of effort and constant busyness warranted it. Now no contact. Videos are always about the one broken up with but what about when you almost HAD to break up with them but are now suffering and praying they reach out. A twist on usual no contact. I would love to hear
I'm a FA and broke up with my DA boyfriend once. He never wanted to bend ( comprise) and we got back together several times but, as much as I know he loves me, he still would leave over and over again because of small issues. Whenever he felt vulnerable, he'd leave for days. It made me suicidal. I would never block or go NO contact. I can be friends and would love him to be back in my life...one day, when he is ready.
Dated one for 3 months and he ended things with me. He's already talking to new ppl. Not even 3 weeks after we parted ways. It hurts. I doubt he'll even reach out to me ever again as we kind of had closure. Even if he does (I highly doubt), nothing is going to change because I feel like he has no insight in his behavior and attachment style. You nailed it. The guy does not have verbal romantic gesture or expression. He would do things to express himself. Oh and he is definitely very physical and intimate which is how he shows affection, but when it comes to expressing his emotions through words....he blanks out. And when I express myself verbally how I feel, he blanks out or switches topics.
Hello I'm so excited my relationship was fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,I got help from a great man who brought us back together......
Whatzapp him now....
Hello ! What's the situation now ? It would be really helpful if you could share ! ❤
@@geywhdgskdb that was the end of it…no contact since. I knew when he said we should not see each other anymore on the last day, he chose to walk away. He hugged me really tight in that last moment. As for me, I moved on with my life as that is what I can and need to do. Once in a while I get random memories of him, but it is all in the past. Of course my mind gets curious and wonder what things would be like if he worked on himself, but we can’t change someone. It’s clear we have crossed paths and won’t again. 😔
Me ex was dismissive avoidant with covert narcissistic behaviours abosolute nightmare to be with
I feel you @Michael Collins, I just had the same experience - 3 months later am only just beginning to feel better from the trauma!
@@peterborland4022 it's hard work mate but we will get there diazepam helps 😂 good luck
@@Cluedup2399 we will get there mate! Stay strong brother! 💪
Same. Such horrible people
I’m so grateful I found your channel. You’ve given me so much clarity on my situation. Thank you 💜
Thanks for sharing. I’m happy to hear that.
@@KatyaMorozova Hi, I was curious. If my ex DA girlfriend sends a text but is really just a "ping" without any sustenance are you saying just not to respond until it does or respond but just letting us know not to read to much into the fact that they sent a text?
Hello I'm so excited my relationship was fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,I got help from a great man who brought us back together
Whatzapp him now......
Great video, you do a fabulous job, your willingness to try to explain the behavior and characteristics of people with attachments issues fills a void in the relationship self help arenas. Thank you
Thanks for this video - it particularly helped me in thinking about which kinds of reach out are worthy of response or not. My ex left me 12 weeks ago, after 4 years together. For the past few weeks, my ex has been liking some of my social media posts about once or twice a week. I have been a bit confused by it, but not responded by reaching out to my ex. My ex left me, so it's not my place to reach out. If my ex wants to try to work things out, then adult communication has to take place, and liking social media posts isn't sufficient. Thanks again for this video.
He ever figure it out?
What happened next?
I’m a secure, and recently had my first
experience with a DA. It was very confusing and disorienting when they pulled back and went cold as soon as the relationship was at the point most would move on to committed or at least exclusive. What I found was their core unspoken message is “I’m attracted to you. I think I want to be with you. But stay away.”
You can’t fix that. Move on.
Schedule your Breakup Assessment Session Here >> www.katyamorozova.me/services-2/
This video gave some information regarding possible actions from Avoidant! I’ll keep in mind! Thank you 🙏
I just want to say that if you mistaken your ex as a DA and they're an FA reaching out and you don't respond to their minimum "I miss you/I'm thinking of you/how are you?" texts when they're swinging anxious, then you're not going to like it when they go avoidant after you ignore them lol. Trust me when I say jump on that text and see how they respond first.
Do you even want someone who can't muster up more than a "how are you?" after ending a relationship lol
It's Anxious Insecure. Not preoccupied. Preoccupied from what!! Your thoughts and feelings. We all have that as a human beings even for a secure person They don't come back trust me I know it's been a yr.. Ta da!!!
This is very helpful, once again, and providentially timely.
Lol I go a couple hours or days and she blows up my phone number, im blocked on everything and doing no contact. But when she reaches out good things actually happen and it's genuine, tearing me apart coz alot of these videos are so accurate and I feel like I got no hope left 😔
Hello I'm so excited my relationship was fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,I got help from a great man who brought us back together
Whatzapp him now......
Great vid and very valid points in this message, thanks for posting it Katya!
You’re so welcome, Laura! Thanks for watching and commenting.
Hello I'm so excited my relationship was fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,I got help from a great man who brought us back together......
Whatzapp him now....
My ex and I broke up 2 months ago and in that time I realized he is a DA. We did NC for a month and then he reached out with apologies. Two weeks later I responded and we have been talking ever since. He said that he is not ready to be in a relationship because he still has to work on himself, even though he says he loves me. What do I do? I have been focusing on me, and he knows I won't simply wait around. But the middle ground is a bit weird, as we both do still care.
Dont if you can avoid it. My DA wife did the same to me only to check out of the relationship 6 months later. It sucks
Any updates ?
Same stuff. Once in a while he will call and say how confused he is in that he wants to be with me but knows he still has to work on himself. I get it to a degree, as with his work and family, he can’t sacrifice in the ways that are needed for a relationship. I’m just trying to focus on me I guess :)
@@gracewiley4902 good luck❤️you guys will be happy one day.
@@gracewiley4902 my DA just said goodbye to me because he said I was mad for requesting his friends in social media. Maybe he thought I was spying on him or something
I love all of your videos!! Thank you!!
Glad to hear it! It’s my pleasure. ✨
My ex reached out after 9months NC on my birthday. It was a nice text but no direct question in it, so I just replied "thank you".after he hurt me so much by breaking up with me I couldn't do more
9 months eh? Wow. For me its been about 6, pure NO contact. All this time ive been broken, devastated and always positive id take him back. Now im not so sure after all the pain, youre right. Did yours actually want to get back w you though? Mostly I wonder what theyve been doing during all this time away...
Hello I'm so excited my relationship was fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,I got help from a great man who brought us back together
Whatzapp him now......
My DA reached out on my birthday after No Contact after 7-8 weeks. I’m just gonna write Thx.
Hmmmm my ex reached out to me yesterday. We’re having a casual friendly convo but I honestly don’t mind…..he broke up with me , yes it was very painful but I’m mostly healed, working on myself and my toxic patterns. Some people might be okay with the casual relationship after the breakup. It feels good to not have that trauma bond. 😊
What about when they clearly state they don't want a relationship but hit you up constantly for sex
In transactional analysis what ego state are DA? Also does addiction or substance abuse follow hand in hand with DA?!
Definitely gotta see more actions vs. Words... i thought atleast some words here and there was a great step..but still no discussion on the breakup. I value myself to see actions and ima still give their distance.
Hey, do you wish to get your ex back or restore someone you love ?
if yes then l'd like to recommend you to a love specialist who brought my ex back
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Hello I'm so excited my relationship was fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,I got help from a great man who brought us back together......
Whatzapp him now....
Don't do their dance. I find he's trying to start fights not resolve them because the blame must be on me. Don't be their scapegoat you're great and it's not your fault it's their crap. They just want to lure you in to pin it on you. Make them carry their own junk.
WEll, that's true...my DA can't show emotion or talk about them, but he shows it in the bedroom. Now he has pulled away, but he was contacting and teasing me. He liked social media posts and his friends still all think we are together. True that he has no feeling for how much he broke my heart; last night after flirting and saying I could come and get my stuff, then he wanted to leave it in a shed! I'm sorry, but being unwilling to end it in person, because all this time we have hugged and kissed and kept in touch during 'no contact' [whatever that is] because we work nearby. I still had hope, and all the other videos say to wait for them to wait and respond, because they are the kind of videos for the person wanting to get together. No way mine would call or say they want to talk...he is too much a DA! Besides being my lover, he is my best friend...last night saying I was 'scary from day one' because I loved him, just broke my heart more...this after flirting!
@@hadizaumarsuleiman7564 no I don't want to pay a witch doctor for a scam...thank you very much. Plus this was 9 months ago...I fixed my own problem. You people should be banned from these sites!
@@hadizaumarsuleiman7564 I am so tired of you people trolling and trying to sell a voodoo doctor cure for money...go away! Same cut and paste in broken English on each site you troll
Hello I'm so excited my relationship was fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,I got help from a great man who brought us back together......
Whatzapp him now....
My DA boyfriend left me and had my best friend bring him his things. We lived together for a year. It's been 4 months and he has blocked me ( again)
From any communication.
She does this ping through Instagram after two weeks after the "I'm working on myself and healing, I dont want to date you or anyone else" then a week later she will send bread crumbs to see if I will reply! This has been going on for over 3years now. I know I am as to BLAME as she is! But with in the last week I feel I am getting stronger. She is very non-comital but can't stay away for long. She isn't the type to play or juggle multiple men. I trust her in that sense. But I now have to play hard ball and ignore these meaningless reach outs! The only way I am going to allow her to have me back is if we start attending counseling together! That way she is held accountable for her actions! Until she offers! SILENCE!
Great video! It’s only been a few days for me and my ex DA just reached out, they’re the one who broke it off. She’s asking me how I am doing and idk if I’ll respond or not. I don’t hear any action.
Hello I'm so excited my relationship was fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,I got help from a great man who brought us back together......
Whatzapp him now....
†13609219711⏭⏯??????
Very good video. He sent a picture of himself to my sister. Haven’t call or text me. I didn’t respond at all
It took three months for my DA to start missing me.
Thanks for sharing.
Can you tell us what happened next?
@@smonaful.. He tx asking if i was in a new relationship. Then we started calling each other After a few weeks we decided to try again just seeing each other twice a wk After a month he moved bk in.
@@susanrudge2349 Any update? It would be really helpful!
Watching this after I did the damage 🌝
DA came back & accepted (Regretting now)
Thanks for sharing. Often hindsight is 20/20.
Hello I'm so excited my relationship was fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,I got help from a great man who brought us back together......
Whatzapp him now....
no way, do not respond unless they have had serious psychological work!!!
Very helpful. Thanks
You’re welcome.
Hello I'm so excited my relationship was fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,I got help from a great man who brought us back together
Whatzapp him now......
Stay away it’s all so crazy making and totally not worth it
Just ditch them and find someone better, say no to breadcrumbs. You deserve better, keep on digging and you’ll get some decent, available connections
He needed space a year ago came back with text not a phone call. Hope you are doing well. Love you. Miss you. Thats not someone who is being real. He was dating the whole time. He wanted attention or validation. Dont trust it. Blocked him again. My healing got interrupted. He is the past.
This is insane. I got ghosted. 3 days later a druggie moved into her house. Its been a month now and nothing, druggie just hangs out, her and i did everything hike, motorcycles, theater, cooked on and on. It was the closest ive ever felt to another human being. Then bam, ghosted. WTF is wrong with these cruel A$$holes. I pray she reaches out someday so i can play games with her.
My DA ex girlfriend after 7 months of dating broke up with me with no reason whatsoever. Her reason was ridicolous and it was just a excuse to leave. I tried to convince her not to do it but i never begged or anything. After 5 weeks of no contact she reached out to me without anything significant. I talk with her like with a buddy. Just few sentences a day. Its just a small talk. She never mentioned anything about us and what happenned. She reached out to me four days in a row with good morning text. And my question is: what does she want from me???? I am so confused...
She doesn't know what she wants for herself. That's all you need to know.
Oh she’s good🙏🏾
Really nice of you to say!
He invited a long text because he knew I communicate best in writing. I sent that long text, too soon before I could compose thoughts. Then I chased and he pulled away. Two months later he casually apologises for 'being useless' and tells me 'life gets in the way' but asks how I am. I miss him so much but reply two days later with 'Its been busy but I've appreciated the space, hope you're well too?'
Absolutely nothing back.
Block and protect yourself
my da broke up with me 2 days ago and now he texted me a good morning message with a two quotes, “ Sometimes some people can be a test for you” and another one about feelings during seperation of sorts. The reason he broke up with me was we were both insecurely attached and scratching each other’s wounds of abandonment during a conflict. He said we should seperate and work on our issues individually. i initiated a no contact and now he’s breaking it. i dont know how to respond to this shit.
Why is it always an ex? Why can't it just be someone you were talking to that you maybe had a bit of a friendship with
I have an anxious attachment style and I broke off the relationship. He texts me goodnight every night. He seems to have avoidant attachment style. I really care for him and know he was pulling away. I am not sure if this is the kind of person i want to engage though he is a very sweet man.
Any updates about ur relationship?
Thank you. . The information was really helpful. .
Thank you. Happy to help.
Hello I'm so excited my relationship was fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,I got help from a great man who brought us back together......
Whatzapp him now....
†13609219711⏭⏯??????
he blocks me (after emotional interaction) on text and then i end it via email lol... but then he eventually reaches out and the cycle repeats.. ughhghghgh.
What if I broke up with the da and they reach out? How do I respond?
Hello I'm so excited my relationship was fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,I got help from a great man who brought us back together......
Whatzapp him now....
thats whats happening to me right now. I dont want him back, but he texed me after 2,5 month on no contact.. he updated me with his life ond said he is always there for me and if we have a drink sometime
Wow so solution is solitude and celibate because I can and instantly rejected is the best way to begin the new destruction
Do DA’s come back? It’s been 3 months since she ended a serious relationship between us (3 years together). She did reach out 2x within the first month of no contact (basic conversation), and the other we tried to discuss what happened but she left me on read (maybe deactivated). I have just been lost and not sure if they do come back because what we had was real and the way she left was so sudden (which I know DA’s do sometimes).
DA's can come back. Typically, people come back when they recognize that they may have misread the situation or done something wrong.... Or they really start to miss you.
Hello I'm so excited my relationship was fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,I got help from a great man who brought us back together
Whatzapp him now......
@@KatyaMorozova Should you always wait for them to come back first if they broke up with you?
How about if it me who woke away ?
Thank you 💞☺️
You’re welcome!
Wowwwww thanksss god blesss
You got it!
What if u have kids with DA and hes always around for the kids even when u went limited NC, but hes curious about u.Its like a losing battle
When they send you a friend request on social media, is that the same thing as reaching out?
what if they blocked you and said not to message anymore so totally out of the blue?
Hello I'm so excited my relationship was fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,I got help from a great man who brought us back together
Whatzapp him now......
Omg my ex which I think is DA is like that he calls me every other two weeks and comes here takes me out and make plans of us doing “business together” and I am like so confused as I am thinking you broke up with me I expect if he wants me back he would tell me I ges I been Misunderstanding him this whole time but I want him to grovel he really broke my heart I want him to say it I dnt know if I can get past him not expressing how he feels and wants so we stuck in this rut where he doesn’t know what to say and I am like I will wait 🤷🏾♀️. I do love him just that I have a need for communication 😭😭😭. And I dnt know if I can be at a point where I dnt need this. But thank you for this people been telling me but I ges I needed to hear it from a stranger I will not get a big apology and a big expression of how much he loves me and wants me back. I hate that he uses things for me money doesn’t cut it for me I need him to communicate with me like a grown man he messed us up he must fix it if he wants me in his life period
Last time I was with him he had started opening doors for me which he had not done since the beginning of the relationship but I am still so mad at him everything he does makes me angry cos I am expecting him to say something and he doesn’t so I just flip and we fyt and he flees and shuts down and I am like I am over this then two weeks goes by with no communication then he calls again 🤷🏾♀️. And I keep expecting the same thing and it doesn’t come 🤦🏾♀️. I dnt know 😩😩😩😩😩
Any updates?
@@msgoodbrown hahahahaaha yes well since the last time he has been calling almost every week,sometimes 3 times a week, as apposed to once in two weeks this week he sent me old intimite videos of us when we first met, mind you he calls me for random things like I saw this it reminded of you I laugh cos mostly I dnt know what else to say,he still makes sure I am good in terms of the stuff I need he takes such good care of me but I haven’t seen him.
He hasn’t said anything about us getting back together but 3 days back he randomly said I should come and see you 1 day 🙈 I just acted cool and said okay no problem, just in case you are wondering it’s been 6 months since we broke up in the six months he has come to see me but for business etc sometimes he makes up excuses as to why he calling me and why we should meet I know this however I just dnt feel like I should be the one who starts the conversation I ddnt mess us up he did and I do love him a lot and I wish we could just work things out but I need him to communicate I am hoping he gets it’s together.
I do realize that I have a strong character and he probably is used to people who just assume him being nice is a sign of getting back together and jump right back into it but I am not like that I am interested to see what he ends up doing that would make us be good again for now I focus on myself and my life and let whoever do whatever. Some say I am selfish but
I love this man with all my heart and I want all of him not his money and if that’s not what he is offering me then I will stay by myself I am good but if he wants to be with me he is going to tell me I am not going to assume just because he is being nice then I should initiate a relationship I like my guys to be the leaders.
Also he really messed up so I think he is probably scared to speak about it cos he doesn’t know what he is going to say and I am not even hateful towards him I am cool I appreciate everything he does for me if he needs help I offer it where I can but I am not calling him or making small talk with him so I dnt know but No I am not ready to let go just yet I think he really loves me he just hasn’t met someone who is not phased money after he disassociates and I think he wasn’t expecting to love me after his episode so now he is in a jive and I am not lifting finger to fix his mess😊
My biggest fear of being married to him (we were engaged) is his episodes of disassociating I would have to accept that at times he i will have to be the mother by myself and guys I really see it I am learning a lot at first I really thought he was a mea person or he is playing games with my head but after this six months of our separation and I am sober from emotions I realize that he is dealing with his own pain and some of the things really have got nothing to do with me and I think he wants to be loved and have a good relationship he just doesn’t have the tools to cope with all the emotions that goes into having a healthy relationship and that makes me sad cos I know I cnt fix it for him it neeeds him I have my own wounds to heal so all I can do is pray for him and have some empathy towards him especially because this man has protected and had my back even in the mist of everything more then any of the available guys I have met, he is as loyal as me and I have longed for someone like that it’s just that his way of dealing with emotions is not healthy so I dnt know but like the video said guys it’s really not because they are mean or they are out to get you they are just dealing with their own issues and I think we are soo quick to forsake people and judge them when you dnt realize what’s beneath the surface. The only thing I am praying for is that we both find a way to heal and create a good life together. Everyone needs love❤️. I think I am not so mad at him anymore like before 🤣🤣🤣
Omgosh you are sooo secure. I envy how sober your emotions are. I can rationalize as well as you but my emotions takes on a knee persona and it’s definitely pushed my DA away after i confronted him. I really admire how well you’re handling. I pray that God give me the tools to handle myself with such grace as well.
What about if it was you to break up with the DA and you ( pathetically, I know...) reached out the very next day to fix things? I deeply regret the break up but it seems he is not interested in a reconciliation
If u want them back I wouldn't ignore just light response they may need to work up to it ignore would tell them to stop reaching out
It means that it's your turn to share the new gifts that are completely disgusting no thx I have 2 hands and if I must I will name a pet rock her name because it will be the exact same experience minus the disgusting + multiple people she has been with since her last times 4 months ago. So I do not have any more words for her.
Ex reached out to me a week ago after 21days of no contact to just ask “how are you? and discuss something about money related” I only responded for the money issue. I ended the conversation after that because I didn’t wanted any casual talk that didn’t involve the relationship…x.x after that…we haven’t spoken again. It’s been… 7days of no contact again.
Any updates ?
Michael Andersen Well…it’s a long story but…let’s just say that eventually after the second month we got back together and gave things a chance again. it was a very annoying process but we managed to talk things out fully.
@@Nokutizu update?
Hello I'm so excited my relationship was fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,I got help from a great man who brought us back together
Whatzapp him now......
Good lord this video nails my ex to a T!! Ive been breadcrumbed for 9 months from her” DA”!! Ive fell
For it and finally realized im done ..she likes my posts(cheesy as that is) ive heard i miss u.. ive heard the sorrys for what she did and many other things along the way ..had brief phone calls and many gibberish texts “to see if I’m there basically there I’ve found out“ as u say in this video. Her birthday is coming up soon and Ive gone back and forth as to reach out. She reached out to mine few weeks ago and i didn’t respond for awhile.. i don’t believe i should at all..as it’s pointless I’ve said i am not an option to her and that u need to figure yourself out (she did say she is finally working on herself though) any advice !! DA s need a-lot of work to realize relationships and i tried to no contact for sooo long and she always always does the reach out for validation and to know im here. And every time i just know its means nothing and yet i respond !! One of the hardest things to do was walk away from a DA. ..i feel for all who have dealt with these types of people. I can fully tell u its hard when u love one and have to fully let go and walk away !!!
How are you? Any update?
@@TimStJohn-xp8rv i finally walked away for good 3 weeks ago ..i called her on breadcrumbing and friendzoning and said i dont wanna be just friends..she continued to reach out here and there only to validate and i got more i miss yous and yet no commitment again ..so i said i cant do this anymore. Please stop reaching out. I dont want to be just friends …so yes there is the update!! Walking away for good 👍..there was no choice. DA S are very difficult to deal with and confusing. Unfortunately sometimes we gotta just say bye and thank them for a lesson learned !! Time to move on …
Hi, just curious.. how about my DA ex messaged my sister, telling he got depressed and not doing okay.. does this warrant a reply? Thanks
It means he needed a package picked up while away 😂😂😂
What if they never contact you again? How long do you wait until you break NC?
This may be grounds for indefinite no contact. Time to move on :(
Hello I'm so excited my relationship was fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,I got help from a great man who brought us back together
Whatzapp him now......
You don't wait. You love yourself. You stop waiting to do that. ❤️
My x whose between a da and a fa. Reached out with a long distance phone call. Apologized for having hurt me. Said she never thought about how much it hurt me. Shes not willing to change. She wants to pay off her debt first.
Not sure how to take this in between.. she acknowledged her faults, but then isn't ready to change and didn't seem to want a future with me other than friendship but admitted I cared and did more for her than anyone probably would ever.
It seems like you already have your answer. You wrote it in your comment. I would believe anyone who says they're not willing to change and from whom you sense that they don't want a future with you.
Borderline narcissist. You should be glad she discarded you. You are a wonderful person who deserves a reciprocal relationship. Don’t accept bread crumbs. You deserve a feast at a communal table! A fully functional, healthy relationship
Hello I'm so excited my relationship was fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,I got help from a great man who brought us back together
Whatzapp him now......
After I applied 21 days of NC, my ex reaches out by text w "I'm changing churches in the event You don't want to run into me there, if you stay ill find church closer to my house."
What the heck does that really mean?
If I got that message, what I would understand is that they want to know if I'm okay still seeing them at church or if I'm completely done interacting with them for the time being. It's odd, because you think that they'd be a bit more decisive on the logistics of church on Sunday.
To be completely open, I'd interpret it as them trying to crack the door open, to so see where exactly you guys stand, even if it's disguised as discussing Church matters. It could be them trying to see if you're willing to fight for them perhaps or just be open to conversation. However they don't want to openly say whatever their intentions are in the case that it ruins their pride because they don't know what you're going to say.
God mind games are really fucking stupid.
What if it is a WhatsApp birthday text after 7 weeks of no contact? He is a DA and I’m AP - I am just going to write back Thx.
I don’t know,I get nothing for 6 months
And then she’s blowing up my phone trying to call me for one day
Then nothing again
I just can’t read her
When they reach out, or if they reach out!?
What if you left them?
Hello I'm so excited my relationship was fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,I got help from a great man who brought us back together......
Whatzapp him now....