Dismissive Avoidant Breakup | Is Your Avoidant Ex Stringing You Along?
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 20 ต.ค. 2024
- Did you go through a dismissive-avoidant breakup? Did your avoidant ex breakup with you but you’re still seeing each other or texting?... And now you’re wondering if staying in touch is leading to truly reconnecting or asking to yourself “is my ex using me”? In this video, I’ll share the signs that your ex dismissive-avoidant partner doesn’t see a future with you and that it’s time to get out of the anxious-avoidant trap and move on.
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Screw these selfish DA's. Finally, a video about them that doesn't sugar coat their behavior.
YESSS....AND GOD KNOWS I PRAY DAILY FOR MY EX SO THAT WE CAN BOTH HEAL......BUT THE DAMAGE IS RIDICULOUS......JUST BECAUSE OF GOD IM STILL ALIVE.
Best explanation of DA I've seen. They use you for a back up or to ease their loneliness without wanting any more. My DA only seemed interested when I walked away and would start seeing someone else. After years of this I burned the bridges to stop the bleeding. Much happier now.
Glad to hear that you’re happier now. Thanks for the feedback.
Hello I'm so excited my relationship was fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,I got help from a great man who brought us back together
Whatzapp him now......
That’s exactly what it comes down to. It drags for so long and they hurt you so badly but keep coming back to the point you have to really burn any bridges for both of you or accept it’s over. They WANT you to be the one that kills it so they can walk away guilt free.
The guy- how did you burn the bridges? Did you block them?
He was stringing me along after I broke it off. Two months later he got back into my life. He wants his cake and eat it too.
Tell him to go
This is so true. He told me he didn't want a relationship and didn't see a future with me but wanted to be friends. I was lonely in a new area and didn't know anyone so I agreed to be friends. He called and texted all the time. I hardly contacted him. We spent alot of time together. It felt like we were in a relationship without the sexual part. I truly felt he had feelings for me. He didn't date anyone for the 4 months we were friends. He got of the dating site. When I asked him about his feelings towards me he ignored me. We ended up having a big blow out and he started yelling at me telling me he don't care about me nor my life and his life was none of my business. Then he had the nerve to act like nothing had happened and acted like we were best friends again. There got to be something mental wrong with these people. Lesson learned.
I had the same EXACT experience. Friends, got along soooooooooo well. He was different from other guys who pop in and out playing the field, no looking at other girls at a party, he was s consistent, stable, answered his phone for gods sake! Didnt leave me hanging on texts, Seemed soooooo normal. Then I'm like why am I your secret girlfriend? Can I meet your friends? Lets get a pic together... etc. He said the same: I don't love you, there's no future, I need a break...almost yelling..sounded exasperated...One week later texts "I think this was good for us" acts like nothing happened, from his current actions, seems like he just wants to fall back into our "pattern " of hanging out everyday, being each others "plus one" at events.
The why it’s called APDisorder 😖
DA acts the same universally!!! They have the EXACT SAME TEXT in different part of the world!! I hope you have moved on after seeing such attitude from the person towards you!!
He sounds more narcissistically inclined than DA to me ...
Just say NO to the GRAY ZONE. Very helpful video.
Glad to hear it! And yes, that’s a great rule to live by.
Hello I'm so excited my relationship was fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,I got help from a great man who brought us back together
Whatzapp him now......
This all makes sense. I have been with a DA for 20 years. During the last 8 years he has been stringing me along. No real interest in my needs, no intimacy. Friendly on his terms, spends time telling me all his problems and using me for emotional support. I always hung onto hope that he would re enter the relationship. He has now met someone else and had left. He doesn't seem to understand why I and the kids are so devastated. If I could give my younger self some advice, it would be to discuss attachment with a future long term partner before committing. Run for the hills if they are a DA.
Hello I'm so excited my relationship was fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,I got help from a great man who brought us back together
Whatzapp him now......
Impressed you made it to the 20 year mark. I’ve just woken up to the fact my ex is a DA. We were together for 1 year. It was wonderful for the first 3/4 months and then..BOOM! He seemed to change into a different person overnight, citing (ironically) that he felt it was as if I was keeping HIM at arms length, which is completely untrue. But of course by this point I was heavily invested and spent the next eight months naively clinging onto hope that the man I met would resurface at some point. Intimacy waned to zero in those final months, until he admitted his body’s physical reaction was to tense up in my presence. This was obviously devastating to hear and has destroyed my self-esteem. He finally pulled the plug five weeks ago and we have been NC ever since. I am very sad about it, but feel a huge sense of relief now that I’m no longer pouring so much emotional energy into him only to not have it reciprocated. And now I’ve discovered attachment theory - well, it all makes perfect sense and I feel vindicated in the knowledge that it wasn’t my fault. I also feel a degree of pity for him, because he’s a good person deep down yet has self-sabotaged a relationship that had real potential.
@@little_miss_muffet- Be glad that you can see the relationship for what it was. I agree, it doesn't make him a bad person. He is emotionally unavailable, that makes quite a rubbish relationship. Take the advice from an older lady like myself. Don't invest your energy into him. Invest that energy into yourself. You are a beautiful young lady, you will meet someone that you connect with. I am 48 and I have been seperated for a year and a half. My eyes are more open now. I can see how unhealthy the relationship was. I have recently started dating. I am a new person. I check out their emotional availability early on. I ask questions about previous relationships and how they ended. As soon as I see a dismisive avoident red flag, I am off. I am much clearer with my expectations and boundaries. I will not tolerate such a relationship again. Know what you want, and don't the same cycle repeate. Your future is in your own hands. I still have contact with my ex as we have children. I am polite but I keep him at arms length. He does not enter my house and we only chat about the children. I do this for my benifit not his. If I didn't have children, I think I would have no contact as I think that is what would be best for me.
Good luck Katie❤️
@@user-od1fm3hs9c That’s wonderful to hear you’ve been able to move on and have found a much healthier connection. Sounds like you’ve established a way of interacting with your ex that works best for everyone - which is great. Thank you for your kind words and reassurance. I have a secure attachment style and feel confident I now have the wherewithal to attract this in my next relationship. I am glad I didn’t spend any more time with my ex as I am 39 and want to have a child/children before it’s too late, so really can’t afford to waste any more of my very precious time on the wrong person. Wishing you all the best in love and life going forward 💗
A 58, my DA left a live-in situation with me. So, as much as I love him, he can never come back to to me until he does a lot of work on himself.
I don't need a man that badly.
KNOW YOUR WORTH..ALWAYS.
This is absolutely true. I’m an AP and she is a DA and i needed to hear these points to confirm that it’s over and I need to move on
I’m glad the message was affirming. Not always easy to accept.
I was AP and have been moving to secure. But the hurt pain and walls haven’t left. It is a heart wrenching decision to let go.
@@1286cassandra Thanks Suzanne. If it's any consolation for you, I'm currently in the same boat. Wishing you a smooth sail as far away from your ex as you can possibly go.
Letting go can be excruciating but it's the healthiest way.
It sounds like the DA is manipulative and insensitive; no thanks.
Yes, makes sense. She strung me along after asking me to move out, saying she wanted a future, then broke up with me, then said she saw no future and didn’t have time to process us, then told me to move on. During this period after I moved out, she sent me pics of her kids who I love, told me about big things in her life, and sent links for home appliances when she saw a post I made on FB. This lead me to believe she had hopes still, but when I spoke about us she shut way down, angrily. Today, she told me she’s dating others. We broke up two months ago, and were talking about hopes to reconcile a month ago. We dated for 2.5 years. I feel dumb, tbh. I should have had more sense of self care and preservation to know that was ok and I deserve better.
You’re not dumb. Hindsight is ALWAYS 20/20 so try not to be so hard on yourself.
Hello I'm so excited my relationship was fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,I got help from a great man who brought us back together
Whatzapp him now......
Have you tried No Contact? Looks like you gave her chance to feel good about the break up!! Ultimately everything happens for a reason, how good or bad is subjective…. But if you’re able to move on, then it’s a good news!!
They are confusing as hell. Yes set boundary. Your DA seemed a bit malicious/ immature
She strung me along for 2 months before admitting she had been feeling unsettled. I knew next to nothing because she never communicated, acted like everything was fine, was intimate, said I love you, etc etc. No communication, no wanting to fix anything, just blindsided and chalked things up as “Differences”. Said she wanted to remain friends but if she ever reaches back out (after she is done rebounding with half of tinder which she hopped on HOURS after breaking my heart) I’ll tell her I am not willing to sit here as a back burner and stay where I’m not wanted, respected or appreciated and where she only turns to me for when her other options fail. So no, I don’t wish to talk or be her friend, not without any reconciliation or responsibility taken by her.
Spot on my situation
Almost sounds like we were dating the same woman. She did the same exact thing and in the same order.
@@hellswindstaff91 identical to mine. I'm still traumatised.
My DA ex left me after a 2 and a half year engagement and living together when her attraction dropped. She immediately jumped into a failed rebound where he left her due to emotional unavailability and her still bringing me up/comparing me. I was hurting so bad trying to move on in NC but a month later when she reached out I felt such happiness and hope. I set up a date, made it clear it was a date, kissed her and got intimate. I thought it went really well.
The next day she got cold, saying she only wants to be friends for awhile and take things slow. I agreed, thinking maybe i was moving too fast. We spoke all week and went out the next weekend. She also asked me to come to easter with her family. When I said I didn't want to go as "just a friend" and that we needed to discuss what we would tell them, she got very defensive and blunt. She said she Isn't sexually attracted to me and wants to even explore other options. She compared me to her rebound and said she wished she could combine us both. That She loves our friendship and intimacy/emotional connection and doesn't want to lose me but isn't ready and needs more time apart to start dating me again.
She said she doesn't want to lose me but doesn't want to lead me on. I told her i can't do it anymore and for her to make up her mind or i'm moving on as she is hurting me too much. She then said again, "I do want to date you but I just need time". So clearly she wants to keep me on the back burner and i can't accept that so i unfortunately have to move on. It really hit me as I'm back in NC where she said she would call me at the end of the week where I have to really let her know what I have to do. It's really hard to understand how she can be so cold and disregard my feelings. It's like she only thinks about herself. This is an exact example of what was talked about. I now realize she doesn't value or respect me and thinks I will just wait around for her because I love her. I already started talking to someone new and I think i'm going to pursue that. I know she will probably mourn the loss finally and reach back out when she hits rock bottom and realizes what she had which will be very hard to ignore but I lost faith in her after this. We are both in therapy but she doesn't seem to be growing or learning at all.
Thank you for sharing your story! I can totally understand what you’re going through! I hope that you find the peace! And wish that you find who can treat you better and have respect for you! 🙏🏽👍
I don’t think it’s so much so making up their mind. They need therapy there is deep shit they need to figure out about themselves. Love themselves and respect others.
In the same boat as you. We are trying out a friendship. I am not investing much in this friendship and just trying to focus on myself and do better for me. DAs are something else. There is zero awareness of their wounds and even if they are aware, zero effort to heal them. She goes around talking to me about healing etc but all she wants to heal from is the guilt she feels for ending the relationship. It has nothing to do with her actually healing her DA attachment style. I feel sorry for her tbh. Love her to pieces but won’t be putting myself out there with her to get hurt again. Hopefully one day, if the universe wills it, things will be better.
Beginning to think my ex girlfriend was a DA after reading the comments. Been almost six months now. I’m still reeling in pain. It was always an issue when I wanted to bring up changing things up or improving what things we already have.
I don't think DAs know their own feelings very well. They experience a lot of delayed reactions by weeks months or even years in some cases
poor babies
Hello I'm so excited my relationship was fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,I got help from a great man who brought us back together......
Whatzapp him now....
Too bloody bad.
Yup, described my ex. I realised this very early on with her and told her to either work on herself or leave me alone. I just wasn't interested in confusing relations and potentially more pain.
Same…my broke up with me still wanted access hanging out and texts…then he stalled out and every convo was about his friends and the same things. i said after a while its one sided convo wise.he got upset but I just said his line were not together and we certainly aren’t friends.friends hang out and do stuff I said you cant have your cake and eat it too.i did no contact and said my needs aren’t being met. And to go talk to your friends about your problems im done.
@@sewgeekdesigns9113 good on you for not accepting less than you deserve! They want the benefits of having you but not the responsibility of healing, building and maintaining the relationship. It just doesn't work like that.
My ex used to say we are just friends then treat me like a partner whenever he wants...and still call it friendship!!!! You basically took all you romantic needs from me without letting me do the same cuz we are friends..!...and when I talk about the lines that should not get crossed he pulls away and get angry!!!...I don’t have a clue how I ended up with a man like this
I have watched a few of your DA videos and this one resonates the best with me. Just broke it off with my DA after I asked to get more time with him and become intimate. He friend zoned me. I knew it was to fulfill his ego and he honestly did think we were a good match so I am moving on. I cannot be friends with someone I care for deeply and he doesn’t reciprocate. My first and only DA relationship. Never again c
Hello I'm so excited my relationship was fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,I got help from a great man who brought us back together......
Whatzapp him now....
can't ask for more time no no. that means a deeper connection lol so sad
Thank you for this video Katya!! I'm in limbo trying to muster up the courage to say goodbye to this selfish DA who has been stringing me along for his benefit. He actually uses the words of love to pull me back but his actions tell me that he's full of shit and just ends up hurting me over and over again. I feel like a sex toy for him and I really needed this push to finally say goodbye plus block him. He's immature and doesn't have the skill set to even deal with anything nor does he want to put any effort into us.
Hello I'm so excited my relationship was fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,I got help from a great man who brought us back together......
Whatzapp him now....
This is my story exactly! He has destroyed me for 2 years. I’m at my end finally too. They are so damaged and cruel. I’m sorry you’re going through this. It’s excruciatingly painful. Selfish bastards!
Yeah DA always appears very selfish….
This is me deleted and blocked today and for good
Best video on TH-cam so far spot on.
My ex gf broke up with me and within the first 5 weeks she has messaged me video called me about what I'm doing if I've been on dates etc she said we're never getting back together but in her words " it would be a waste to not be friends" I declined and have started no contact again 4th day in, she was never invested properly anyway after 8 months she started being distant and the sex slowed down which made me more frustrated and I ended up looking like the bad guy which I will not accept not even a year into the relationship and her true colours starting to come out
You totally described my ex thanks
My DA ex said he still likes me (romantically) and wanted to stay friends (after a basically mutual breakup) and that he realized he wasn’t emotionally available enough to have a relationship like he thought he was. He said he has a therapist lined up (not sure if it’s true, but I try to trust it) and that he plans to be single for another 2-3 years.(he was single for 2 and a half years before me after getting cheated on by his previous ex) He told me flat out that he doesn’t want me to wait on him even though he still likes me, but he also said that there’s a possibility we could try again in the future. Of course all of this is confusing and has been driving me mad. I have my own healing I have to do with my AP attachment style. And I can’t handle being his friend. And he didn’t understand why I couldn’t be his friend. So I said I would try, but this has actually made things way worse. So as of a couple days ago, we are going to be doing no contact. In my time away from him, I’m going to try to work on myself and my life and not “move on” necessarily, but just keep him in the back of my mind. I would be open to trying again, for sure, but only if I know that he is continuously working on himself and his own trauma like how I’m doing. I realized I don’t really need to be in a relationship right now anyway and need to focus on myself and my own goals instead. While this is all painful for me and I truly feel like we do have a connection, your videos are helping me understand him and myself better. I thank you for that. 😌
Hello I'm so excited my relationship was fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,I got help from a great man who brought us back together
Whatzapp him now......
Girl save your time. Are you an anxious type. Please work on yourself and move on. 2-3 yrs fuck that shit
@@daisyda5313 yeah I am an anxious type. A lot has changed since I posted that comment. I’m a lot more self aware now. I had moved on from that guy, but it took about 6 months. I’m still learning more about myself everyday. Thank you. ☺️🫶🏻
This sounds EXACTLY like my current situation :( Did you want to get back together after no contact? Do you talk now? Did you get back together? :(
I wish i knew this 3 years ago,I thought i was being the strong, loyal person, keeping her together when she needed help because i truly loved her and it hurt me to see her in pain, when in fact i was a door mat, being used until someone" better" came along( better in her eyes i mean, treated her like the most beautiful woman alive for 10 years, so i think she will soon find out the grass is not greener on the other side, when she inevitably does i wont be waiting around). don`t wait guys n gals, you could waste years and time better spent on other things, you do not need anyone AT ALL to make you happy, love yourself seize each day and the rest will fall into place.. believe in YOU. If someone that " loved" you can throw you away, then that was never love anyway.
10 years for me too, treated her great. Didn't mean anything in the end.
Currently going through this myself. She just used me and just threw me away like trash. I was always there for her and did everything for her like I thought a good decent loyal man should do. It's been not even two weeks and she's posted in a relationship status on Facebook but kept our relationship this last time a secret from everyone. It's like I meant nothing and did nothing at all. It kinda ducks with your head.
@@stephenherrington3549 hang in there man, its very tough but things will get better. I still miss my wife like crazy, and I'm still going through one day at a time wishing/praying things could be different. but I learned I can be on my own just fine.
Hello I'm so excited my relationship was fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,I got help from a great man who brought us back together......
Whatzapp him now....
Yep! He lingers and swears I’m crazy. Yet we are together for 5 years and he left 4 months ago and moved out. He left all his garage stuff here and hasn’t still got it. Just comes around every so often “to move a few things” Wtf. And I allowed him to come over once and sleep with me. It’s hurting me so bad. :( he doesn’t ever reach out. He just doesn’t ever care. I’m always the one chasing. This is really sad. I’m glad you made this video. Yep he said all of this “I want to be friends and who know what the future holds.”
I told my DA that: i don't *need freind because i'm not freind with exes* ,don't have sex freind's exes* and that he either *break up with me or date me*,he got mad and *blocked me lol* ,i cried but i respect his feeling next time he reach out,i will tell him to *either contact me in order to date me or to never contact me* .
Finally someone explains exactly what ive gone through the last 9 months stringing along with texts and phone calls just every
So often ..meaningless nuisance ! Its stopping now though! Thank you thank you for this video
OMG, as a DA myself I am laughing so hard. How can anybody think there is a chance for a relationship, when they made it so clear that it is just a booty call. LOL I swear to god, I am laughing so hard. I've been through this so many time. I literally told the girl I am not looking for a serious relationship and she still felt been string along I was thinking "WTF? I told you I am not looking for a commitment right from the beginning. In what universe are you going in with the expectation thinking it will lead to something more serious OMG" LOL Same applies to girls I broke up with, I never say we might ended up back together, why are you expecting there is a hope for things to get more serious again? OMG. When a guy/girl never said it will get serious, it is just a fling.
Go no contact for atleast 30-45 days and see if things change.
@@peteryang8991 Sounds like there's little respect for the opposite sex in general, here. Perhaps there's some work needed in order for you to become more securely attached.
@@Julesyoutoo No, it is calling having some self respect and not been a push over putting women on a pedastal. Something you should try sometime.
The video & more so the comments ring true & weirdly familiar or almost identical.
I can't even call mine a relationship as it was so short but definitely know now she is a DA & probably on the spectrum & it soothes my mind to know that.
She persistently pinged my Facebook for a month after the breakup even though I unfollowed her. Then I had to unfriend her. She constantly posted pictures about personal things we talked about but I never let on. After a month of no contact she was up at 4:45 am liking my FB biz page. I was on vacation in the DR & it actually bummed me out. Instead of ignoring it I thanked her in a one sentence response for liking my page. Her response was "course" and that's been last contact for a couple of months. Last week I finally got off of FB.
Never blame yourself about doing anything differently. This is how it is and thanks to these vids we don't have to feel so crazy or gaslit.
Ugh I wish I could just quit her, but at the same time it’s comforting for me that she’s there and the kids even if it’s not intimate. I don’t have many others in my life and get lonely too.
She said she wants to stay friends after saying we are just too different, just days after saying how strong our love has stayed... IDK has me tore up third time she has ran, this time seems final... 2 years of bliss gone...
Any updates?
Direct, forthright, honest, intelligent and helpful!
All of these is what I get from this guy. But I wish I didn’t have to see him, we live near each other, that makes it very difficult.
I moved. It was brutal with him living right on the next street over.🙄
After 45 days no contact my avoident X contacted me for a chat. In that chat as when she broke up with me mentioned being friend. Both times I ignored her comment. She this break up and silent on me has happened many times during our 14 year relationship. We have a very strong emotional connection but this time it feels different making me feel slightly lost and very uncertain
Walked away after being told they didnt want to be so close, after ignoring me for 1.5 years
How do I stop the string along? It is incredibly selfish and inconsiderate to my feelings post-break up. Unsurprising because he is scared / insecure / avoidant about his own feelings - so of course oblivious/not the sharpest tool in the shed when it comes to my vulnerabilities/feelings/emotions.
DAs are nuts
Uh huh
I love your videos ive learned so much during this disappointing summer as i wound up getting stuck with a DA i was dating and eventually hurt by her. Your knowledge saved me everything youve said in this video is what she has done and continues to do even after i stopped contacting her a month ago
Got stringed along but I seen what was happening thanks to a good friend who pointed out that the stuff my ex was doing was not normal In a normal relationship they want the cake and to eat to there real slimey
My DA ex gf of 6 years said I’m weak. I told her I’m the strongest person she’s ever met putting up with her crazy ass the last 2-3 years.
He said he needed space after already pulling away & taking space , Then text that he misses me and loves me and can see the in the future but for now space & one day maybe friends. I told him it's over, othat I need to forget him and blocked him. I don't want to
be treated like that. Noway.
All of them are true.
Thanks for commenting, and for watching.
Hello I'm so excited my relationship was fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,I got help from a great man who brought us back together
Whatzapp him now......
Another gem!!
You are right on Target!!!!
Keep those videos coming👍
Hello I'm so excited my relationship was fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,I got help from a great man who brought us back together
Whatzapp him now......
My significant other, who I have kids with, broke up with me after 13 years. But in the days after, she kept visiting and even kiss me when it was time for her to go home to her new apartment...
They are getting their needs met with minimal investment. I just told one that I couldnt continue. Its just a friendship but similar elements. I have no idea they will respond to that and no control over it. Probably have pushed it aside like lot of other stuff they push aside. I want to meet up with the person. I have expressed spending leisure time with them and have been hitting walls, very painful ones. For a long time. I was exhausted and hurt.
Do you have any videos about avoidant breakup, but where the avoidant type is the one getting broken up with? I broke up with my girlfriend because of a lack of communication and me having to analyze everything all the time. She says she wants to work on herself and wants help with a psychologist. In all videos I find, the avoidant type is the one doing the breaking up, which makes it hard for me to understand the advice regarding no contact and reaching out. I told her when I broke up with her, that is she is willing to give things a try in the future when she has worked on some of her issues, she is welcome to reach out. But I am not waiting around. I am moving on with my life.
Everything you say in this video is 100% accurate. My ex DA did all of it for an entire year!! I’ve tried several times to end our situationship and every time he would fight for me to stay in his life because he loved me as a friend. I literally ended it for good yesterday. I might even have to block him because he WILL txt me even though I told him not to.
Good for you Noel! Sounds like you've had enough. Sometimes blocking is a form of self-care. Thanks for the feedback.
@@KatyaMorozova thank you. This is going to be hard but I know it’s for the best.
@@KatyaMorozova I just don’t understand how he could want me in his life so badly but not want to be with me romantically!! 😑
Perhaps finding someone else will stop him. ? Best wishes.
@@no1zzle3 I'm there at the moment.
Really great video Alexis. Very specific points about avoidants. Good suggestions at meeting at their level or just under.
My ex to a tee. It was a good relationship, Iam a good person and was a good partner to him. He’s in a rebound still. I’m starting to turn a corner in the healing process.. I really don’t think I even want him back anymore. I’m all good 👍😏
When did you break up? Are you in no contact? 🥺I had a FA years ago & now DA. Dealing with DA hurts the most!
@@Princess-ef2ux we broke up Dec 27th 21. Yes in no contact. I doubt he will reach out ever. We were long distance most of the time, met each other for the first time, and in 5/6 weeks we were done. Sad because he was intimidated, panicked and just didn’t want to invest. Even though I’m still attached, he’s so dysfunctional and his family too, I think in time I will really feel I dodged a bullet
@@Princess-ef2ux actually I just realised I replied to the wrong video 😆 ah well whateves
@@LG-ly7pw yes sweetie. You weren’t as invested thank god! Honestly time heals 😔 but I would run if I were you. A lot of people don’t find out about their attachment styles when it’s to late.
@@Princess-ef2ux oh it’s been hell. We both were so invested, I left my job because of covid and because we were fairly confident we would get married. I’m devastated. I’m sure it will take another 6 months of processing. Now that I know all about attachments, it makes so much sense- especially his. Too bad he doesn’t wanna work on himself.
Very helpful and well presented
Thank you!
Every damn point was true
Hello I'm so excited my relationship was fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,I got help from a great man who brought us back together
Whatzapp him now......
A few months ago I started dating a woman I knew casually 37 years ago and we were friends on social media for about the last 10 years. We ran into each other at an event so I asked her out on a date. We dated for the next 3 months and everything was going great! We both agreed that the chemistry was there. The last day we were together she came through my door, gave me a hug and a kiss and said she missed me. I could tell her attraction level was very high. Well at some point that night I made the mistake of bringing up our relationship and referred to us as "dating". I realized at that moment she was highly allergic to that word. She was very intimate with me the rest of the night and everything left off fine. However, she ghosted me for the next 3 days. After 3 days she called me and said we should get together and talk but first she needed space for a few days so I just backed off and left her alone. She called me 3 weeks later and wanted to get together for our "talk". So I picked her up and we went to get a bite to eat. She started by rattling off some things that I had said that bothered her. None of them were anything bad but they bothered her for some reason. I told her I didn't realized that those things bothered her. I thought she was breaking up with me but then she said something to the effect that we were just going to take it slow. So on the way back in the car, I asked her what she wanted to do about things and she said she would like to start over with a clean slate and I agreed. She then grabbed my hand, kissed it, amd held it all the way back to her place. I kissed her goodnight and it was the last time I saw her. She won't take or return my calls, She likes and comments on all of my social media posts, she texts but only in response to my texts. She doesn't initiate contact. However when she responds to my texts, her responses are quite long and upbeat. Calling me "honey" and "baby" and "Sweetheart" and says she's "looking forward to getting together" and always ends with "talk soon" with tons of heart and Kisses emojis...But she doesn't follow through on any of it. Then I found out about attachment styles and avoidants...BINGO! I was so hurt and confused. I couldn't understand why someone would just turn on a dime like that and end a relationship so suddenly over something so minor...Now I realize that the things I said triggered her and she now sees me as "unsafe". The weirdest part is that she sounded so sincere in wanting to start the relationship over and then she just put me on the bench again.
Dear Harry, you deserve order, reliability, consistency, directness, maturity, an adult who can communicate their thoughts and feelings.
I think she has herpes. 😂
I think the last person I dated was dismissive. Things were going well until they weren’t. The last real conversation we had was that she had abandonment issues, past trauma, and was emotionally unavailable to me and seeing someone else. She told me that she was still interested in seeing me etc. It was very confusing to me and I didn’t understand. I opened up to her and told her how much I liked her, and she said she couldn’t offer sexual intimacy. I was ok with that, and trying to figure out what she wanted and she didn’t know. Two weeks later, she says she doesn’t have feelings and we weren’t compatible. Absolutely shattered and heartbroken. Now they are like ghost town. No response to try and talk. Tbh I’m still confused and this happened about two months ago.
A classic DA. Don't be hard on yourself and sounded like she just wanted to keep you on the back burner. You deserve better. Now you have to tell yourself that too and move on! It can be very confusing getting entangled with a DA because they are often confused about many things and can pull you down the rabbit hole of their own confusion and next thing you know your world is spinning around out of control! Think of your needs and if she can't or will not satisfy them, then why stick around? Love yourself first!
Four months after the break up , the aviodent comes back and doesn't talk. I pull back too. Patience might work
I am not at all sure that the avoidant I am considering is dismissive or fearful and perhaps she navigates from one attitude to the other, not as a strategy but because of a highly vulnerable social condition which is unfortunately becoming a common situation in our present social crisis.
The idea here is not being comfortable but merely keeping alive, and in a situation of crisis, mutual help and understanding is necessary.
We can imagine a mutual assistance between a shipwrecked man and a woman surviving on a raft and having to reconsider their relationship once having reached land.
The challenge I see here is not making up or breaking up but identifying the correct boundaries as I firmly believe that sincere and meaningful platonic friendship between men and women is possible and no doubt a necessary human relationship that yet needs understanding and defining in order to become viable and helpful.
The harsh reality... but yes better to let go know the truth despite it hurts than be imaginative whatif which you only are hanging on.
DoDA’s ever commit?? And actually are capable of love ?
I had an off and on thing … year and a half and yes some of these statements came up … I see it would take a hell of a lot of understanding and forgiveness… he was married for 6 yrs so he must be able to commit.
Everyone is damaged especially after 40
I don’t want to give up on our connection.. maybe I’m fooling myself ?
Well it’s a tough way ahead if you wanna go pursue such people. Constantly feeling the urge to compromise and “let go” of things that you can’t otherwise! Relationship should be pleasant!! Otherwise only a single person is sacrificing all the time is also not fair!! LET DA learn by theirselves the hard way what they have lost!! Sometimes it’s the only option!!
After 6 weeks of nc she reached out saying she loves me but isnt in love and misses me. And wants to try again.see if we get the spark back. Lets see where this goes. This is only the 1st week.
god this sounded like my X. she broke up with me, then continued to text me and even sext me. Even when i told her to never msg me again. she doesn't want anything more than a "deepening friendship" with me, but doesn't want to let me go. she even gets upset when she see's me with other people. but, its okay for her to be with others.
Glad it resonated! ...And sorry to hear that you're going through that. That doesn't sound fair to you.
so right, i totally agree.
🙌✌️
Hello I'm so excited my relationship was fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,I got help from a great man who brought us back together......
Whatzapp him now....
My DA refused to block me I begged him to do it I send him now a message to block me from everywhere (he already blocked me from Instagram only)
Thank you. I needed to hear this even though it hurts
I know it can be tough. Thanks for being open to it.
Hello I'm so excited my relationship was fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,I got help from a great man who brought us back together......
Whatzapp him now....
tyvm for letting moi realize that the relationship was/is over
she never had sex after TRUMP was elected, but I recently broke up with her after I noticed a new male friend was hearting her pictures
Mine does this and says wants tk be friends lol
I need cut the cord! Please make a video on how to do that. 🌹🔥
Coming soon! Thanks for the suggestion.
All of them. Went nowhere for 3.3 years
Thanks for sharing.
Hello I'm so excited my relationship was fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,I got help from a great man who brought us back together......
Whatzapp him now....
Ok so I was dating a DA 6 months ago. He's a long time friend of mine of over 20 yrs. Things ended after 2 months bc he said ge was feeling to pressured & tbh i was def pressuring him way too much. We didn't talk for 5 months & just started talking again about 6 wks ago. We were discussing hanging out again in the 2nd wk of talking but he still not agreeing to it. We talk at least once a week with him being the one reaching out to me most of the time. Opinions, Am i being stringed along? Or is it normal for a DA to take this much time to decide? Another point, we want to hang out on a weekend bc it's easier for both of us but he also goes to nfl home games & friends house on away games so that doesn't help this time of year with being more available. But i could just be making an excuse for him. Can anyone give me their opinion?
What if you are married ??!!
Thanks!
Welcome!
@@KatyaMorozova :)
Epic
Accurate.
Sounds like a narcissist
yep.
I am wondering if he is avoidant but we have been together for 3 years on his terms. It’s really difficult bc l am not interested in marriage etc. l need to come to terms with this
Hi.. my DA broke up by text then ghosted me. I sent a letter saying how I felt but, wishing him the best. I went away for 6 months. Upon my return I went to visit someone and they showed up! Behaving as if nothing happened.. it’s so confusing...
@@storrmarie5585 I’m great thank you!!!
Hello I'm so excited my relationship was fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,I got help from a great man who brought us back together......
Whatzapp him now....
All of them
Sod it. I'm never having a relationship again.
Don’t give up. Just take a break. 😉
Hello I'm so excited my relationship was fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,I got help from a great man who brought us back together......
Whatzapp him now....
Brass tacks..are DA's just covert narcissists?
Nope
What is the difference?
How do you get them back though?
@@storrmarie5585 how did he help
I need to address this but family health problems are very difficult right now l wonder how to deal with both. Thank you
Hello I'm so excited my relationship was fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,I got help from a great man who brought us back together......
Whatzapp him now....
He never asked to just be friends would say I love you and then call me his friend .
So affirming!!
Glad to hear it. 😊
I was hung for 2 months in the middle of a breakup it hurts so bad
Hello I'm so excited my relationship was fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,I got help from a great man who brought us back together......
Whatzapp him now....
OH 😳
I'm blocking him. He has blocked me on certain places. Like whatsapp, cellphone calls.
Don't block
Let them see your growth
Hello I'm so excited my relationship was fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,I got help from a great man who brought us back together......
Whatzapp him now....
Wow you’re amazing. TY
Thank you thank you!
😳
Great info. Thanks
You’re welcome. Thanks for watching. ✨
Hello I'm so excited my relationship was fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,I got help from a great man who brought us back together......
Whatzapp him now....
Amazing video!
Thank yew! 🙏
Hello I'm so excited my relationship was fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,I got help from a great man who brought us back together......
Whatzapp him now....
So..... how do I get him back?
Hello I'm so excited my relationship was fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,I got help from a great man who brought us back together
Whatzapp him now......
This is soooooooo true.
Happy it resonated. 😊
ALL OF IT. U are spot on
Thanks a ton!
Thank you
You’re welcome.
Friend zone
Hello I'm so excited my relationship was fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,I got help from a great man who brought us back together......
Whatzapp him now....
Constructive criticism: the constant hand motions while speaking and poor editing (too jumpy, too jump many cuts) are not only highly distracting and anxiety provoking but disallow for proper processing of the information. If you’re having a hard time being able to speak for 10 minutes without all the hand flapping and hyper jump cuts, I suggest making the videos shorter. I appreciate the content but it really is so highly distressing to watch.
So don't watch. Who asked you???