The projection is founded on needs and the imagination is a vision of those needs reflected back through the mirror of the mind. If the mirror of the mind is clean then that vision executed with the intelligence is how to fulfill those needs. Religion and culture is like the perfect recipe to exicute those visions in line with our most inner needs and desires.
Not always true. A good sociopath flips the switch four months into marriage and becomes an EXTREMELY different person, not even remotely close to who they were when dating. I think you might be speaking about couples who don’t have mental health issues.
@Nyree Harris I didn't say you need to agree with his politics. I said he is worth the cost of tuition because he is actually good at teaching psychology.
I’ve been in 4 serious relationships up until now in my early 30s... What I’ve realized is that all my relationships began with romanticizing everything. I would see a girl, she looks very attractive to me, we go on a few dates, we have mind blowing sex, & we talk about goals & plans... Life seems perfect, but once you start living together & start seeing each other everyday over a year, you start to notice each other’s imperfections & flaws & sometimes you get left disappointed trying to figure out why you got in relationship in first place & it eventually dies out.. What I’ve learned to do is just stop projecting things on to people that aren’t there, just to fit my reality. Just learned overtime to accept the person for who they are, & if we get along well & support each other through good n bad, that’s all that matters...Also got to live with the fact that nothing is guaranteed, people’s thoughts & feelings change overtime. Romantic relationships are a very complicated thing of human nature, yet beautiful at the same time. It’s crazy lol
"No woman, no cryahahahay" the beauty of love exceeds that line of superficial personalities. Real love is seeing the other person happy with or without you. At the end of the day we all depart life, so spend the limited time loving yourself and others but only if that love is mutual. If you can go to bed every night satisfied with your life, aim to achieve more, and make a positive impact on yourself as well as the world around you, including people, then your already at the goal line. 👍✌️⭐
@@king-nick2023 it's a fact. If you look long enough at yourself to see the flaws and pay attention to the damage you yourself have caused in others, then you will not argue with the quote.
@@lowercasepeople49 not even, I have had friends for years and we never hurt each other.. we been mad, that’s it… also look up emotional responsibility
There is also the cosept of the chicken dance, smitten, . The beginning of every relationship people are putting forth great energy to project them selves as great in every way. It is exhausting and unsustainable. I watched my brother propose to a girl he met in the pub 3 weeks prior. Then reality came crashing in and it got messy
She's been programmed to think she wants a partner, but then later she discovers she always really wanted a "Daddy" (i.e. support me financially, solve my problems when asked to do so, and make no demands on me)
Real love is something that grows over time. That early relationship love bug dies out eventually and then you are left with a real person that probably isn't all you thought they we're. Find someone you are attracted to, that you get along with, and that you enjoy talking to and then put in the work. It will suck sometimes, thoughts of murder may occur, but the real love comes from both parties realizing that in spite of everything that person chose you and accepted you, sacrificed for you, and didn't turn tail and run when things got rough. And don't cheat, that's really fuckin weak. There isn't a dong big enough or a cooch tight enough to be worth hurting someone you care about and blowing up all the man hours you put into a good relationship/ family.
Yes to all this. Husband and I celebrated 50th anniversary on January 1st, 2022. We made a commitment to each other, to our God, and in front of witnesses. Nothing else us so important. Honor your vows.
Lol you'd be surprised how many there are out there like him. Dive deep into podcasts, dive deep into authors, dive deep into film. Some can only speak through their art, not their ability to lecture. It's up to the individuals of society to decide who they admire/look up to. If 25% of the world were Jordan Peterson and the other 25% were morons, and the remaining 50% only choose to give their attention to the moronic 25%, having 25% of the world as 'great teachers' means nothing.
Jordan is my hero. Because of him I can stand up for myself. I can speak up, tackle scary things, face dragons and see myself grow. About three years ago I had crippling anxiety and I'm naturally high in agreeable personality trait and because I've learnt to be assertive, to choose my poison I'm a completely different person and I owe so much of that to Jordan!
When I was dating my wife, a mentor of mine told me "Dont marry someone unless you know at least 5 bad things about their personality that bother you. If you cant think of any, youre not looking hard enough, or you don't know them well enough." Most people fall in love and ignore possible red flags because their minds are overpowered with mating pheromones. You should date someone until the new relationship fades away and try to catch them in situations where they cant put their best foot forward. (Usually interactions with family members are a good sign) Remember, it takes one day to get married, but can lead to a lifetime of headache and problems.
Also, getting married right now is the absolute worst economic proposition for a man that has ever existed in history. It's signing away your every right to every material accomplishment you have or will ever achieve. It's crazy that people still think it has anything to do with something like love. It is legal suicide.
@@OutyMan I've seen it go pretty bad myself. Plenty of my friends got married at young ages and their wives sucked them dry like money pits. When some of them realized how badly they were being treated and threatened to leave, they were convinced to conceive children to "save the marriage". Which is the most awful decision you could make in a failing marriage. On the other hand if you do happen to find a girl that's a truly down to earth, good person, marriage can be great. Unfortunately the US centers their taxation system around marriage, which I've always found to be strange, but it helps out a lot. Also having a lifelong partner can be fulfilling. I was fortunate enough to find the right girl when I was a child and grew up with her. Even then we didn't get married until we dated for like 5 years. But again you don't *need* a piece of paper to have a lifelong partner in this country, its just added benefits if you know you're with the right person.
@@yderga8707 May I ask where you guys are based, e.g. continent? I would assume that the law says you can keep everything you have earnt/acquired before marriage, but have to split equal all assets which you acquired during the marriage? I think that unless there weren't any children involved during marriage or the man didn't want his wife to become a housewife (or she was already not working when getting into marriage) no alimonies nor support should be paid after separation as every woman should be capable of making her own earnings. It is quite a catch 22 though, because women who are successful and independent and make a good living are less desired by men for dating and marriage. So more well situated men go for women who earn significantly less but instead provide the looks. This creates a huge gap in the relationship and a power imbalance in marriage.
Man or women.. you will never be enough for the wrong person. Accountability means you don't take it personally. Another person will always be themselves, they will never be your self.
I think it’s a harmful idea to suggest expressing emotion as a man is harmful to a relationship. Arguably this could have some basis if the man doesn’t act positively on their negative emotions eg. Moaning about hardships but not working to remove them. You’re in for a lonely and shallow relationship if you don’t express emotions healthily.
@@andrewtyson7670 everyone will have problems, this man is different type of mind, no matter how much you try to discredit him, he will always be super smart, he will always be passing knowledges down.
@@andrewtyson7670 I’m learning about this whole human thing, and I wish to one day that I’ll be competent in it. But if you will please… perhaps I can be helped to better understand something that you said about this individual speaking not being “any good”… based on his inability to “fix himself”. It’s appearing to be rather difficult through this limited interaction with him, for my ability to understand what specific characteristics of his, need “fixing”. Could you please help me? I gather that you are a rather approachable individual among this platform of communication between individuals, and would be most appreciative of any help or guidance that can be afforded by you. Thank you.
I literally have been doing this and trying to teach people for a very long time and people just don’t listen. Too often are people busy judging me in some way whether it is my age, my looks, the way I dress, me being a woman it is always something. A man at church said “I didn’t know you were smart and talented I thought you just looked good.” Seriously? Sometimes I am not sure if I am in an ongoing nightmare or some type of simulation.
@@silverlining6259 I'm not saying that Jordan P isn't brilliant and absolutely a positive male force in our species. I'm saying if you want to dig deeper into contemporaries with this school of thought, check out who they benefited from. People like Alan Watts, Jiddu Krishnamurti and Osho Rajneesh for example. All God's amongst men.
Daamn Peterson in his old clips looked so full of enthusiasm. You can tell by the way he carries himself now that all the politic stuff has really weighted on him. He's at his best when he can talk about Piaget and Jung and the Bible because of how legitimately happy he seems.
He's worn out. He's a psychologist and is really happy to talk about his life passion with psychology nerds. Yet, he is stuck with political activists that don't want anything to do with his domain and who constantly put words in his mouth.
@@violetgc6049 he seemed waaay more serious and depressed well Over a year before his wife was diagnosed; but obviously that was way worse than any stress from politics.
@@claude-alexandretrudeau1830 yes! It's almost as if the culture clash is forcing him to take on these political topics for the sake of saving people from themselves. But it is wearing on him. Likely exhausting.
I think you need one of those multi level memes for this one. Like the one with the brain that gets bigger and shinier: "JP Videos with Clickbait Titles" "JP Videos with Clickbait Titles that You Understand Halfway Through the Video" "JP Videos with Clickbait Titles that You Spend The Next Six Months Figuring Out Were Actually Not Clickbait"
Physical attraction is what starts a relationship, where it goes from there is down to the individuals involved. There are 12 years between my wife & I. We are best mates as well as lovers. We base our relationship on four values, Trust, honesty, loyalty & respect. We have been together for 15 years now & are still incredibly happy. I support everything she wants to do & she supports me. We are a ‘rock’ for each other & have grown together over the years.
@@robertdeskoski9783 judging by this comment, it seems clear to me you don’t get much luck with women or relationships, or your trust of women has been damaged in some way. Don’t project your shortcomings onto others. Our relationship is and will always remain strong, 15.5 years in and counting.
@@hikingwiththeshackletons: You got a lot from two sentences, bud, but no. You don't give someone else everything they want, it turns you into a doormat. Pretty standard advice.
@@robertdeskoski9783 yes you do, but we don’t see it that way, I am not a door mat, I think you misunderstood my meaning of ‘anything she wants’ we have mutual respect for each other & do not take each other for granted
Now, imagine being in that class and trying to take notes. Peterson has the amazing ability to bounce from one topic to an analogy, then to a metaphor, then to a correlated historical event, to a psychological field, around to some raw data, then interpret the data, to then speak on a societal issue, to then loop back to the topic, and all of that being somehow connected to the topic at hand. At the same time, it is as separate as possible without losing that one common thread. Amazing skill with articulation and oration.
@@sharonmontano4924 I know what pedant means, but why do you ask? I get that Peterson can focus on some minute details in his courses and extrapolate them sometimes, but it usually is fine since he stays within the topic at hand. Maybe you’re speaking on his zeal for academic learning and teaching, in which case he would definitely be a pedant. Again though, why did you ask?
@@CkVaderDude Ah, Shakespeare reborn! Such skill! Such elegance! Such beauty with the written word! Grant is another beautiful soliloquy, my dear amphibian!!
He's sounds like the type of guy who hold you back till he's done talking that's why. Because for 6 minutes straight there literally nothing special about anything he's saying. The last minute is completely unrelated
What I appreciate most about Jordan is his absolute joy of (1) teaching, and of (2) trying to understand and comprehend the world around him. Whether I disagree or agree with him on any given point is irrelevant because it will never change the fact I love seeing him in his element because of those two things.
Is it really that rare? The thing that makes Jordan Peterson so amazing is his brain, dedication to learning, taking that learning as far as he can and then making it coherent so he can pass it on to others. A lot of people speak the truth and genuinely help people, but most are not comparable to Jordan Peterson
You do precisely what Peterson describes: oversimplifying and idealising a person, by your own projections/assumptions. Peterson is not the man with a beautifull mind. On the contrary: he's at war with so called 'Marxism', because he wants his christianity not become obsolete.
“The more ideal they are, the more interested in them you are.” The overwhelming adoration that the millions of people have shown for Peterson speaks a wealth about him.
@@nukepizzaa Yes you are probably right, but it might be fair to say that he uses his intellect to put forward a rather narrow ethos, rather than in any spirit of enquiry. I can't imagine him saying, "That's an interesting point, I'll give it some thought" or " I may be wrong" or "I can't prove that of course". I do find his views contemptible on the whole though.
@@MrDorbel okay, I've found him saying 'im not sure how that plays into... "," I don't know about that "," I'm not sure if that's true " a few times but that's rare I agree. He said that in the GQ interview what we can do about the inequality in capitalism. He doesn't know. sorry that's the only quote I can give you right now in like controversial debates but I ve seen him being more inquiring when talking to students for example and to like-minded people but I think that's natural. That defensiveness is just natural when you're attacked. What do you find contemptable about his views?
It is quite sad to see how happy Jordan was back then giving lectures, now with all the hate on him it has left him scared and tired. I wonder if he ever wishes to go back to the old days were he could just be this awesome tutor without the hate. Wish him all the best!
While I am sad how much he has suffered, it’s a better chance that Peterson has been contacted by thousands if not hundreds by individuals who were practically saved by Peterson’s lectures. With that, Jordan has had a heavy burden to be the few who have reached a lost generation to help them improve their lives and everyone else’s lives as a result, and I’m certain that he continues knowing that has been his purpose in life that likely he would ultimately never regret what has happened. Ironically you could say ideally we expected him to have an easier time to reach these individuals, but his example of keeping calm with the chaos around has made him a shining example that it is what brings more people to want to learn about his studies and wisdom.
He wouldn't change it for anything... because he knows the truth. The haters don't hate HIM. They inherently know that they don't have what he does... the truth! So, they hate him.
I love how he can give over complex ideas in such a well articulated manner, yet also somehow manages to create or find humor in the idea. Now that’s ideal
So very very true - you put it in a nutshell. Thoughtlessness, and non reciprocation, in response to a ‘partner’ who is giving and loving, is a sure path to the end of a relationship and the diminution of love - and especially when the one who is doing the giving does so from a place of strength and not neediness - and consequently also has the strength to remove her/himself from the relationship … and move on.
THIS! Unkind behaviors toward one’s partner creates distance, by either person in the relationship. When we idealize and then recognize the truth of the other person, we either accept that person or move on!
Thats EXACTLY my situation. My wife have been on and off over 14 years. She wants to be single and party while we have a newborn and tries to push me into the housewife role while trying to work. She puts me down constantly and I noticed a pattern over the years. Everytime she's out of my life my happiness and financial situation improves tremendously. I rarely raise my voice, speak in anger or say regrettable things but I can't say my respect is reciprocated or appreciated. :(
I never developed any ideal man. My mother told me "You could marry a handsome man and he treats you bad, you could marry an ugly man and he treats you bad. Find a man who treats you well and protect you". With my partner I was focused about his morals and values. Glad I found him. He also never had any exceptions on me. He had no idea what he was looking for. I do not believe in love at first site. But we bonded straight away and were completely comfortable with each other. It felt like we always knew each other. We are almost opposite in personality but United on our morals and values.
@@danp4350 I don't care how he looks, but how he treats me. I tried to word in a factual way. And unfortunately stating things factually can be brutal and I tried to be gentle. I myself am not a prize to look at (average at best). Because there is nothing better in the world than being wrapped up in the arms of someone you love. That warmth and comfortable feeling you get. You can only get that if you truely love someone. Like every person loses their looks when the get old or if they have an accident. Plus dude my partner has said to me he wished I was shorter. I didn't get butt hurt and laughed. It is what it is. Maybe it's how you feel and you're projecting.
This sounds like a bit of throwaway humour but i think he's refering to studies thats have shown us to trust more symetrical faces and that people who smell good to us have opposite genes which provides healthier children. Slaves to our biology lol
@@alexsmith-mm3xd almost there with the 'smell good' part but to be precise; people who 'smell' like their Major histocompatibility complex (MHC) is compatible with ours (a display of immune health and therefore general health) are found to be attractive.
The clickbaity title only focuses on the woman losing attraction for a man, but Peterson is clear that this happens for both sexes: an idealistic version of a woman/man inside the man/woman's mind is what results in the dissonance between what the man/woman believed/thought about the woman/man versus the reality of who she/he really is.
Roane Swindon the reason why men like women and why women like men are different, so the reason they fall out of love is surely different as well. Could be that their idealistic view doesnt come true but goes even deeper than that and will be vastly different reasons for each gender
Emotional maturity also plays a role. Everyone has a romanticized ideal of their romantic partners. With maturity and growth, however, we learn that a real person with real imperfections is more intriguing than a fairytale character. We practice compassion for our mates’ shortcomings and love the real person. The obvious exceptions are if the person is very abusive or a threat/danger. Or if the person maliciously misrepresented themselves to attract a partner and then doesn’t live up to the facade. If you know your girlfriend loves classical opera, don’t pretend to be interested in it, too, and then refuse to take her to the opera once she marries you.
@@markdelej Okay, I like my husband because he is handsome and sexy, because he is fun to be with, because he gets me out of my shell, because he is smart and grounded. He told me that he liked me because he found me pretty and sexy, because I’m intelligent and nice, because I’m open-minded and non-materialistic. Not sooo very different. Well, we have one specific thing to us, which will not work for all couples - we never lie to each other and always tell the truth, even if it will hurt. It helps a lot that we are both on that page. I would not recommend this to everybody. But the rest is pretty common I would say.
Evelina Dimova ok yeah makes sense. But the only thing is that when a woman finds a man handsome and sexy it often has a very different meaning than when a man finds a woman sexy. When a man finds a woman sexy he literally means she physically looks attractive and he wants to have sex with her, like he is meaning 99% to do with looks. When a woman says a man is sexy it could mean much less about his literal body and face but can be more of a sexy vibe he gives off. Like i remember my last gf saying it was sexy when i drove a car, no man would ever think a woman is sexy driving. My ex said my best feature were my hands. Again no man ever cared about a woman’s hands. Girls can find sexy men in uniforms, men with status, men who are good with animals, men who are good with children and babies, men who are good at their jobs, men who drive nice cars, men who are funny, men who are alpha males, men who are dominant, men with great faces and hair and men with good bodies. But men are only attracted to women who are physically hot and sometimes their personality matters a lot too and their clothes and hair but that is it really. I think fundamentally women like guys that make them feel a certain way. Definitely seems like women want to feel good than for the guy to just be hot. And with men they mostly want the girl to be hot. Definitely seems like men are going for 80%- 90% looks when choosing a female and seems like women are going for like 20-30% looks when choosing a guy. I think individual women are all very different whereas nearly all men agree on which women are hot. But yeah i dont fully know cos im a male and never had the mindset of a female. Am i somewhat close with my theory on women or would you say im way off?
This man loves what hes doing and what he´s talking about in a honest manner saves lifes.. he saved mine honestly. he is the true MVP, most valueable professor
One thing that I think is very important is to find a mate with which you share interests! You constantly have a wealth of things to do in which you can grow together. My wife and I are constantly hiking, biking, climbing, kayaking, and wandering around together. We challenge each other and we constantly have things to do, talk about and share. For the most part, we grow in a very similar direction that is very binding and true. And of course... trust, kindness and love are the foundations beneath this component.
I can’t get enough of Dr P! I can literally listen to him ALL DAY!! While I’m cooking, working, driving, working out, falling asleep... LOVE his knowledge!
I wish i had Jordan Peterson as a teacher when i was younger. I love my father and mother and they taught me things but this mans knowledge and understanding would have been the exact thing I needed at a younger age.
I totally agree I believe now psychology should be taught through junior high and high schools so people can understand people better and pick up on ques. On good vibes and attitude compared to bad ones.
I was an introvert and figured out most of this on my own. For me introvert was social cowardice, worst manifestation was with regard to girls I liked most, so I killed that part of me and been outgoing ever since.
@brunetteordie i think that you described me...but i have a dog and use beer. mad season--river of deceit john mellencamp--paper in fire i always wanted freedom. now i have it in the biggest way. except for the dog thing.
I think attraction is lost through a lack of maturity. I was 20 when I had my first daughter. I anticipated years of growth between my wife and I. I accepted that we would experience each other's mistakes and I took it upon myself to endure that. People who have hard times accepting that are self-centered.
@@MadBalmer1 lack of maturity is the reason why I left both of my previous partners and the reason why all the girls I know left their partners. Ofc its more nuanced and humans are difficult but it’s just a fact that guys in their early twenties aren’t as adult like as the girls. So yeah that is a bummer sometimes.
@@hilderenshof2476 Yeah I get it. But sometimes people just grow in different ways and different directions. You can get to the point where a couple simply doesn't have the same goals, interests, desires or directions anymore. That happens, not just in relationships, but in many of your friendships as well
Agreed!! It’s all about me getting my needs met it’s not about love I got sick and found out my ex was cheating hide money and when a judge removed him from the house after threatening my life we Found more than him just cheating! Tons of stuff I found in the house as I packed us things up. I was with him since 18 years of age all the way to my early 40s and we had two kids multiple lies cheating hiding money telling a therapist a schizophrenic. I agree most people get a divorce due to maturity insures and not really knowing what commitment and love entails let alone a vow!
@@MadBalmer1 most therapist would tell you the same thing basically it’s a lack of growth and willingness to except that the grass is brown no matter where you go to try to find it there’s always brown in that green grass doll. It’s not all rainbows and cupcakes you know when you get married and if you know anything about love you would understand if the issue is and today’s society most people have not had good examples of healthy relationships that show love we have more examples of showing hate revenge jealousy. Sad
Married 30 plus years, my husband and I had some rough spots. The bottom line is commitment to family, to one another, patience, and forgiveness. Not in that order!
It goes both ways. Either spouse can lose attraction for the other. It’s not always the man’s fault or the women’s. Either can be abusive physically, emotionally, verbally and spiritually (for religious couples). Everybody wants to say, “it’s always the women or always the man”, but in reality it can be either party who destroys the relationship.
I think the important thing to note is life isn’t perfect and certainly neither are people. If you feel a certain way about someone, you feel interested in them, understand that it’s 1) usually rare and 2) if it’s reciprocated (which requires risk taking to find out) then you ought to pursue it and finally 3) once it’s achieved it requires a lifetime of effort on both parties to continue to work on themselves to remain at the level of interest that sparked the initial feeling to begin with. The saying “don’t let life slip you by” could be directly applied to relationships. If you allow inattention to take hold it will slowly corrode the things you worked hard to achieve. All great things in life require the constant and consistent effort of maintenance and the only way it doesn’t feel like a chore is if you act on true passion and feelings rather than superficial archetypes you believe will make you happy, when in fact they always fall short and fade. Just be honest with yourself, it’s all any of us can really do.
Tow thing's i tell myself and young people. One being Dont bull shit yourself! We all do it for one reason or another but even if your doing something that goes against your conscious or lack thereof dont lie to yourself about it. It maybe the only thread of rope left at the end to pull yourself out of the help you created. Two as applie to marriage and relationships. Simple as its is Be good to each other! Profound right? 😂 but always always keep that on mind. Rub feet when they hurt shoulders backs what have your. Even when your tired! Give an encouraging word even if you feel like s hit and a half ass failure. Bring each other up always! 2 simple things that's can help you avoid a whole lot of hell!
If they were unfaithful in any way, unavailable and even worse unaccountable there you go. A person man or woman will always remember that at least at some point in time the person did not truly care about them nor actually love them and did not care about their actual well being and did not care about what the person could and should have with someone who actually is ready who is healthy available for a healthy honest fully faithful in every sense relationship which means what it literally means and is already ready in time of singleness before friendship pursuing someone courting dating etc. A person will always remember this and therefore will always long to be with/ find someone who actually cares about them and loves them and is fully faithful in every sense. A relationship ends when someone seeks elsewhere. A thought in the heart is literally an action we are spiritual beings we have a spirit who is truly who we are and so it is at heart and spiritual and looking physically visually seeking in any way by any means by any media even in thought is physically seeking and also is at heart OBVIOUSLY even if it was at supposed to be friendship/ courting stage if you are pursuing someone it will always be remembered and known and felt. The one who has been unfaithful he/she was already divorced before getting married before when pursuing someone but then pursued seeked elsewhere thinking viewing lusting at heart truly that is what the reality is, tempted, seeking and seeing any or all of/ having something with someone else as if he/she is married to that person and you just deceive yourself and everyone else at heart and strum really drag around the person who you are pursuing/dating/married to. You divorced any premise of anything good real and what could have been with actual care actual love actual respect and full faithfulness in every sense the moment you are unfaithful even when you are pursuing someone before dating and when you have that at heart, it is deceitful and obviously in reality not honest. So by default the one who got cheated on at heart is divorced even in marriage. So at heart both are divorced. If one wasn't available and couldn't provide that for someone and yet took away from that someone what the person could of and should have with someone else for the person that they pursued, dated and then married Imagine having a child the child wouldn't have that provided either the healthy honest love and care and guidance and actual loving home and what the child and parents could all have and should have in their life. Imagine raising a child in that, a child who will also raise the next generation. Don't do that to all and don't let deceit take away from yourself nor others nor the next generations don't let that pass down. Treat all others as you would want to be treated, people are precious. Watch Living Waters on TH-cam its a great channel.
You’ll never be happy if you don’t find the right person if and when you do. There will be no reason to look elsewhere because you’ll have to work on it the rest of your life kind of a two way street. Stay loyal remember the vows you took to be faithful and true. It worked for me until he passed we had sixty good years Good luck to all
Damn, sixty years. Not very common nowadays with a lot of people calling it quits after their first disagreement. You are very right that it is a two way street and marriage can be hard at times, but if you truly love each other, it is worth so much and more.
Well, to make your students laugh and smile while you talk your brains out with complicated lectures just shows how interested your students. That's a big accomplishment in itself.
i am a narcissist and i always was good to my girls. they even deny - me beeing a narcissist. humans are intelligent beeing having some control over their nature. stop vilifying people by labeling them. a narcissist isnt a bad person, nor is a psychopath. its just something more wrong in their personality than with others which usually hurts themselves most. a alcoholic isnt per se beating up their loved ones. its only a few alcoholics but more so than average people would do. same with narcissists & co. most of them are fine good people. usually when people complain about their partner beeing a narcissist the problem is actually on their own, just beeing to weak to draw their lines... their borders which they should work and resolve on... or they are the narcissist themselves and labeling the others as such. remember, a narcissist usually looks for the blame in others , not himself. so could you be the narcissist? become strong, know where your boundaries are and not let other people walk over them. no narcissist or whatever can hurt you again. and sometimes the truth is, your current partner is no fit for you, maybe its better to quit the relationship. but people rather stay in a bad relationship than be alone for some time. from now on stop thinking about what the other did wrong.. but rather think why did i allow this and how can i prevent this in the future.
Yeah, you get one like him, you don't even need to take much notes, because it's actually interesting. I've learned, if you can make yourself honestly interested in a class subject, it's so much easier to pass...
Dmitrijs Pavlovs They lose attraction because they are whimsical and capricious by nature. Western society encourages them to embrace their “whore” archetype - so pair bonding is all but shattered if they’ve had multiple partners. They will have a roving eye (looking to upgrade) until the are about 40-45 years old and begin to lose their sexual desirability.
..... umm, we lose our attraction for men we only connected with for a specific purpose..... and we also never lose our sexuality, it’s just reserved for whoever and whatever brings it to fore ...... you’re welcome.......
@@Tweedle457 of course you lose your sexuality, it's called hitting the wall. Can a 38 year old single mom have any guy she wants? No quality man touches that
@@NikkiDocherty74 Men primarily assign sexual value to a woman based on her looks. A 38 year old woman does not look as good as a 28 year old woman, therefore she has less sexual value and less opportunity to sleep around. Meanwhile, a 38 year old man can often be a lot more attractive to a woman than a 28 year old man due to the type of things that women find attractive in a man.
I think this is the problem with young love. My HS boyfriend and I were like this , he wanted me to be and envisioned me to be Suzy homemaker because I looked so "innocent" he had this ideal image of me. And I tried hard to make him into this best friend play thing lol. We hurt each other a lot. It sucked. But it really taught me a lot for when I got older. Now happily married and changed ideals lol
Men treat relationships as an investment. If your investment has a low return on investment, then it’s a failed business. Women, unfortunately, change a lot in relationships. Men don’t. Most women don’t change for the better - hence the high divorce rate. Who she was is no longer who she is.
@@sonofsarek bingo. We invest for the long game. The guaranteed sexual partner etc. trouble is women use this trick to catch us. Then they go silent in the bed room. And we’re left still doing the work with zero pay.
I reconciled myself to the fact that my wife isn't perfect long ago and the realisation allows me to love her all the more. What I really find difficult to accept is the realisation (which is even older, btw) that I'm not perfect either. Far from it in fact.
@@ronaldelliott4373 It's an s if you speak the Queen's English. Don't be so blinkered. I'll excuse you on this occasion though, because by your own admission, you are FAR from perfect.
@ pigslefats Was that you’re attempt to chastise me? 👍 I’m impressed. Thanks for the get out of jail free card, and the lesson. Regards from across the pond.
@@ronaldelliott4373 It's "your", not "you're" but I will excuse you on this occasion as by your own admission you are FAR from perfect. Regards and y'all have a good day now.
I don't know how much time I have left on this Earth, no one ever does well unless you're terminally ill, then you have a rough estimate... I however only ever really wanted to sit on a bench with a few people in my life and talk, and Jordan Peterson is the man I'd choose... Dr. Peterson has gotten me to see life from different views and I understand things that I always knew but never could comprehend like you cannot argue with feelings but with facts for the feelings will always triumph over facts even though facts should triumph over feelings so don't argue with feelings only argue with facts... now I can see where I was losing my battles, and I believe it's driving people crazy that I point out that they are using feelings instead of facts... Anyhoo love learning off this man
To be fair, it IS a clickbait title, but Peterson did actually answer the clickbait question, somewhat inadvertently. Their projected image of the "ideal" man becomes shattered when they deepen the relationship with the particular man, thus losing attraction.
Correct. But men can prevent the shattering of our ideal man by protecting, providing, defending, supporting, and loving your partner. Good men know how to protect, defend, and provide. But few know how to support and love a woman which leaves women starved for love.
1969Vanessa G We have no teachers in our lives to show how to properly love and nurture a wife. It was only when I realized I had learned everything wrong from my utter failures of role models, and suffered the terrible heartache of doing the wrong things over and over, that I searched for the way that works. Regardless of the religious aspects, Christ’s example of being a man and being a husband to physical Israel and then spiritual Israel is the key. He is worth studying and imitating for simply the practical way His example works in practice. Provide, protect, defend, lift up, encourage, nurture, cherish, promote, outflowing love, unselfish care, denying the self, serving the needs of the wife. Being a sheltering greenhouse surroundings the wife, providing the optimal conditions for her to reach her full potential, for her to grow and bear good fruit. The side effect of all that effort is love, loyalty, respect, and you also eat of the good fruit with your wife, and family. Hard lessons though. The things that hurt me so much were my complete ignorance, I was destroyed for lack of knowledge, my lack of understanding, my selfishness, and my pride. There’s a reason Christ is meek, humble, lowly, kind, selfless... He is not weak, He is not a pushover, He is the King of all kings and all authority is in His hand, but He uses all that to selflessly serve and be a blessing and a force for good in the lives of His family. He reaches His full potential as a husband when His wife and family reach their full potential. It’s a beautiful thing and it works.
Love is recognizing someone’s flaws and not abandoning them or jumping the ship. Making a conscious choice to love someone with their flaws recognized for what they are.
Before watching this, I lost respect for my husband, I was embarrassed to be associated with him due to his dishonesty in business, constant lying and narcissism.he was also psychologically and then physically abusive. Glad I got free. Now I’ll see the “official, usual “ reasons!
It is pretty simple really. If your partner isn't turned off after having seen you at your absolute worst then you know that he or she truly loves you and will stand by your side even when the going really gets tough.
A women will never do that. Even if she does, she will because she feel guilty. If she is going to see the man at his worst, she will never trust him the same as she did before. She feel never feel protected enough and she will develop man characteristics for keeping her and the relationship safe. Everybody have weakness, but as long as you know how to keep them for yourself as a man, everything will be fine. Otherwise, she will cheat. She will look unconsciously for somebody else that she will feel more powerfull.
Mutual RESPECT.... not love, is all that keeps a relationship going. There will always be issues strong enough to pull you both apart and even threaten the love you share. If there is still respect, you can both still say - I'm sorry, please, and thank you. With these words still available in a relationship and other nuances of respect, love will always be nutured back to life. Genuine respect in a relationship will always revive / plant love. Its the reason marriages from older generations lasted a lifetime. Respect is also the same reason our grandparents had better friendships and relationships with people in the community. How many real friends do you have? How many of your so called friends can know about all your vulnerabilities and still respect you???
My entire life is a reoccuring scenario. Someone meets me they're enamored with my personality, humor, lexicon e c t.. sometime between a year and three years, one day boom persona non grata. And now finally I have an understanding. Thank you Jordan.
Every night from my earliest memory my mother would read a story before bedtime. From my earliest memory until we stopped I had been systematically indoctrinated into the PRINCESS mold waiting for my PRINCE. That's effed up.
Jordan, I absolutely love this snippet of you. You seem so natural and ‘at home’. Genuine character and humour came out. Thank you for your existence, the planet glows brighter with you on it.
You can. I am. We are making consciousness. Films, books, conversations, stories, culture... are these not evidence of consciousness outside of the brain?
i love listening to this man talk... open minded, sometimes open ended... refreshing... breaking down the barriers that others claim to be doors to solutions.
Having been in the same relationship for almost 18 yrs, in my personal experience, change, whether it’s one’s outward personality, or spirit, tends to become apparent once challenged (or nurtured) in different situations and stage of life. There have been things that I grew impatient with with my husband and our dynamic had shifted a little where I just didn’t feel anything for him for yrs. Our relationship became somewhat mundane as we both focused on work and he just worked way too many hours. I found it interesting that he would say, “you’ve changed since we became serious”… Not realizing, so did he! We both did! Being married tends to drive people to only focus on the phases of life in getting somewhere as a family and not necessarily about what keeps the flame burning between 2 people, all work and no play. My advice to anyone considering getting marriage is always make time or create space in your life for desire and intimacy.
I can't truly understand how anyone can loose interest in wanting time including intimate time with their spouse I've been married going on 16 years . Been through alot hubby and I but yea time together we've always had and intimatcy definitely. We have 3 kids aswell. I dunno maybe it's cuss I'm very loving and nurturing maybe it's cuse I'm a southerner. Dunno but snuggling up with the hubby and just even watching a show is good. It's the simple things in life together that mean the most.
I think this is definitely true and I think it is a common thing that alot of people struggle with. In other words, I think alot of people have a fantasy version of what it means to be in a relationship and then when they are surprised to see that their partner can't live up to their impractical expectation they are surprised. But I don't think that's necessarily either of their faults. I think it has more to do with what our culture teaches us and shows us about relationships. If anything we have been sold a lie when it comes to love and we bought it hook line and sinker.
Acceptance-not resignation-of a partner, and finding a way to continue to strive for what is best in yourself, this will take you further than most. Stay mindful of living up to your own ideals regarding what you expect of yourself. Your partner stands a much better chance of staying attracted to you then. Character is always what matters most at the end of your journey. If your partner is also doing these things as well, then you will have a better chance at this risky game. Encourage each other and help one another grow. It’s the two of you duking it out with the world. Back each other up on it.
The trick for me is to find flaws, differences and problems interesting. A perfect partner is boring, it's fun to analyse and see what makes them tick, how they operate, and test your knowledge and understanding of them
You can talk to me about anything... 3 months later ...(interior monologue / seldom expressed out loud) "Don't say what you mean" i.e. don't ask me hard questions, and don't express your real feelings around me.
The projection in the beginning of a relationship is three things: It's who we think will 'save us' from ourselves, the potential we feel that we can love that person, and also the potential of who that person can and will be. There's so much more than just 'feelings' in the beginning. Ignorance isn't just bliss, it's truth. We don't know the future and we don't have to know it. There's hope, there's a future, and there's potential. Who we think will 'save us' will lead to disillusionment which is a great thing because no person on this planet can save us. That would make them God - which they aren't. As soon as you realize that your own problems don't go away because you have a great partner, you are on your way to having a resilient relationship that will last a lifetime. Enjoyed this video from Jordan because it's serious and light at the same time!
One should never assume anything about another person. There are 3 c's to a good relationship. Caring, communication, and consideration. That's the best. One can never expect that another person is responsible for your happiness. Sometimes a time out is good. It gives you time to think. It doesn't have to be 1000 years, but I think it's ok to step back when something seems overwhelming.
he has.. I did it myself and then i forgot it because i dont care for man and woman dont work -we all end up dead or kill and exploit all on earth -including every kind of animal and at the end give full power to machines and we end up in the same spot as dog to a human breder -he can whatever and you cant say no
I married my husband after 1 and 1/2 years of dating. I saw how he reacted in many different situations , and I knew his kindness was his main trait. It's been difficult at times, but after two kids ( one with special needs), and 30 years, we love , like and " get" each other. He smelt " Right" to me, and still does. The pheromone thing is Real!!😊👍
you will never know, a person can change or reval him self there is no other way and you people must be really stupid if you cant aknowledge the fact that everyone changes in time be it for good or bad, the question is will it benefit you?
Way too much superficial in today's world. People spend most of their lives trying to fit into everyone else's ideal and lose out on who they really are most of the time.
I learned to respect and love this man by watching videos of the classes he gave. As a fellow university prof of psychology, I just loved the way he got his students interested and how he pulled facts from different domains together. I also admire the man he has become though he is, as the saying goes, sadder and wiser today.
I still think Jordan's psycho-babble is 99% useless crap. If you are involved in a FT job, unfortunately you're doing the will of someone else for all your best waking hours. A person needs to explore their own will to become productive and independent. These are not values of the money matrix which preaches Jordan's ideal job monster, and of course existentialist selfishness. I'm not saying it's good or bad, just that it's a terrible life path.
You can tell he has three layers of thought fighting to emerge at the same time, I think elon put it well when he talked about how there's always loss of detail when explaining complex thoughts
@@jeremyashcraft2053 I really like Jordan Peterson. He's an incredibly knowledgeable man. The titles are misleading. With those titles a person expects a direct answer.
In my experience… The reason I lost attraction to my husband was because the dynamic in our relationship changed. I felt like his mother… I felt like if I didn’t manage everything about our life it just simply wouldn’t get done. Because that’s what 15 years of experience taught me with him. So when he became child like it was, and this might sound really weird… Almost incestuous to even think of him in any kind of intimate way. It was nauseating and sad… And ultimately the demise of our marriage. (In addition to his porn addiction)😌
in my experience "he wanted me to be his mother" is usually female-talk for "he wanted ME to give HIM love..... like HE had needs or something" you might be the rare exception, but i bet not. you females only know how to absorb love, not give it back. i really is all about you.
Yes, I apparently am the rare exception. Now, more than 23 years post divorce, my husband has 100% admitted to and agreed that he completely dropped the ball in our marriage. MOST women marry a good man with the best intentions and most certainly for love. Yes, of course I couldn’t agree more that men need and want love and nurturing. We ALL do. These red pill channels break my heart… I’d like to know the origins of why men got so disenchanted about women in general. As always there are two very valid perspectives. Women will never understand what testosterone drives a man to do… And men will never understand the role of estrogen in a woman’s life. Once again, if we could come together and communicate and try to understand one another, instead of fueling the battle of the sexes raging on, the success rate of relationships would go up instead of what is happening in our world today.
In addition… Do some research on what high speed Internet porn is doing to the minds of those who engage in regular watching. It will be the demise of relationships. It has certainly been the demise of many a marriage. Now we know it is literally changing the chemistry of the brain… It is just as addictive as heroin and cocaine. It is devastating our world today
I agree with you, I am an introvert and deeply interested in people. It is only that I cannot go on small talk about superfluous topics for too long. After some time that does not tell me anything about those I am interacting with. It is alright for some time to play the extrovert game, but wasted time and exhausting if that is the only option available.
If you want to BINGE watch BEST of Jordan Peterson check out this playlist:
th-cam.com/play/PLWedDD8OR0emeNopcTYREdvypZrMrcajM.html
He's giving an example of a woman
He is giving the example of a woman but I hope you realize that men do the exact same thing
The projection is founded on needs and the imagination is a vision of those needs reflected back through the mirror of the mind. If the mirror of the mind is clean then that vision executed with the intelligence is how to fulfill those needs. Religion and culture is like the perfect recipe to exicute those visions in line with our most inner needs and desires.
Binge? Why humiliate, punish and delude yourself to excess?
@@keithhollett4337 way to exicute
A psychologist friend of mine uses to say “people get married to what they hope and get divorced from what they find”.
Not always true. A good sociopath flips the switch four months into marriage and becomes an EXTREMELY different person, not even remotely close to who they were when dating.
I think you might be speaking about couples who don’t have mental health issues.
No, it's mostly due to hypergamy
"Hope in reality is the worst of all evils because it prolongs the torments of man" -Nietzsche
@@bluetickbeagles116 its still true tho in that case
@@bluetickbeagles116 ... Reread the comment you replied to. Then read what you typed. You find that you are PROVING THEIR POINT.
Here is a professor who is actually worth the cost of tuition.
@Nyree Harris I didn't say you need to agree with his politics. I said he is worth the cost of tuition because he is actually good at teaching psychology.
💯✔
What was your dissertation proposal topic & experience based on that supports your statement?
He's insane.
amen
I’ve been married 40 years. Love is not a feeling, it’s actions.
Yes, actions speak louder than words!
I think it's both. People's actions affirm our feelings of love. The foundation of love is respect and appreciation.
Exactly but for some that’s boring and they want excitement and don’t understand why it doesn’t pan out.
What a nonsense,mogę is action...wow, never Heard anything more stupid
It's both. You FEEL hence why you want to do the best for them (with actions)
I’ve been in 4 serious relationships up until now in my early 30s... What I’ve realized is that all my relationships began with romanticizing everything. I would see a girl, she looks very attractive to me, we go on a few dates, we have mind blowing sex, & we talk about goals & plans... Life seems perfect, but once you start living together & start seeing each other everyday over a year, you start to notice each other’s imperfections & flaws & sometimes you get left disappointed trying to figure out why you got in relationship in first place & it eventually dies out.. What I’ve learned to do is just stop projecting things on to people that aren’t there, just to fit my reality. Just learned overtime to accept the person for who they are, & if we get along well & support each other through good n bad, that’s all that matters...Also got to live with the fact that nothing is guaranteed, people’s thoughts & feelings change overtime. Romantic relationships are a very complicated thing of human nature, yet beautiful at the same time. It’s crazy lol
Are you married now?
Don't move in. Leave sex out until uv dated seriously until after 10 months at least
See is the desert of life. If you just eat "desert" your going to get sick.
@@keriwilliams8980 dessert you're
Seems to me you really learned a lot in your 4 relationships huh,good man
The people in this comment section are using big words to sound more photosynthesis
Hahaha!
Lol 😂
:D
LOL
Good one
“The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for.” ― Bob Marley
Exactly
"No woman, no cryahahahay" the beauty of love exceeds that line of superficial personalities. Real love is seeing the other person happy with or without you. At the end of the day we all depart life, so spend the limited time loving yourself and others but only if that love is mutual. If you can go to bed every night satisfied with your life, aim to achieve more, and make a positive impact on yourself as well as the world around you, including people, then your already at the goal line. 👍✌️⭐
That’s just a quote, not a fact
@@king-nick2023 it's a fact. If you look long enough at yourself to see the flaws and pay attention to the damage you yourself have caused in others, then you will not argue with the quote.
@@lowercasepeople49 not even, I have had friends for years and we never hurt each other.. we been mad, that’s it… also look up emotional responsibility
It’s the loss of respect. When a woman can no longer respect you, she can no longer love you.
And vise versa
There is also the cosept of the chicken dance, smitten, . The beginning of every relationship people are putting forth great energy to project them selves as great in every way. It is exhausting and unsustainable. I watched my brother propose to a girl he met in the pub 3 weeks prior. Then reality came crashing in and it got messy
She's been programmed to think she wants a partner, but then later she discovers she always really wanted a "Daddy" (i.e. support me financially, solve my problems when asked to do so, and make no demands on me)
Soooooooo true !!!!!
that sums it up. very true.
Real love is something that grows over time. That early relationship love bug dies out eventually and then you are left with a real person that probably isn't all you thought they we're. Find someone you are attracted to, that you get along with, and that you enjoy talking to and then put in the work. It will suck sometimes, thoughts of murder may occur, but the real love comes from both parties realizing that in spite of everything that person chose you and accepted you, sacrificed for you, and didn't turn tail and run when things got rough. And don't cheat, that's really fuckin weak. There isn't a dong big enough or a cooch tight enough to be worth hurting someone you care about and blowing up all the man hours you put into a good relationship/ family.
Yes to all this. Husband and I celebrated 50th anniversary on January 1st, 2022. We made a commitment to each other, to our God, and in front of witnesses.
Nothing else us so important.
Honor your vows.
Yea but most women dont love like this. lol.
Try to be 'too human' around a woman. You'll be single reeeeal fast.
👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼
Well said 👏
Thoughts of murder may occur?? Interesting 🤔.
Imagine if most teachers were like him, we would have a beautiful society.
So true😩❤️
how's your brother bill doing? LOL just kidding I wish more human beings were like Mr. Jordan ( or is it Dr.? ).
@@mandysimmons2769 Bill 9 is doing good.
Lol you'd be surprised how many there are out there like him.
Dive deep into podcasts, dive deep into authors, dive deep into film. Some can only speak through their art, not their ability to lecture.
It's up to the individuals of society to decide who they admire/look up to.
If 25% of the world were Jordan Peterson and the other 25% were morons, and the remaining 50% only choose to give their attention to the moronic 25%, having 25% of the world as 'great teachers' means nothing.
If you need to be told how to live a good life
Jordan is my hero. Because of him I can stand up for myself. I can speak up, tackle scary things, face dragons and see myself grow. About three years ago I had crippling anxiety and I'm naturally high in agreeable personality trait and because I've learnt to be assertive, to choose my poison I'm a completely different person and I owe so much of that to Jordan!
Same here!
Good for you. Anxiety is real. Glad you handling it though.
One thing ive learned is that 'who you are' is worth sacrificing if it means getting what you want and being happy.
I don't know who you are but I am proud of you!
thats why they go after him. we cant have a non-woke white male heterosexual hero now can we?
When I was dating my wife, a mentor of mine told me "Dont marry someone unless you know at least 5 bad things about their personality that bother you. If you cant think of any, youre not looking hard enough, or you don't know them well enough."
Most people fall in love and ignore possible red flags because their minds are overpowered with mating pheromones. You should date someone until the new relationship fades away and try to catch them in situations where they cant put their best foot forward. (Usually interactions with family members are a good sign)
Remember, it takes one day to get married, but can lead to a lifetime of headache and problems.
Also, getting married right now is the absolute worst economic proposition for a man that has ever existed in history. It's signing away your every right to every material accomplishment you have or will ever achieve. It's crazy that people still think it has anything to do with something like love. It is legal suicide.
@@OutyMan I've seen it go pretty bad myself. Plenty of my friends got married at young ages and their wives sucked them dry like money pits. When some of them realized how badly they were being treated and threatened to leave, they were convinced to conceive children to "save the marriage". Which is the most awful decision you could make in a failing marriage.
On the other hand if you do happen to find a girl that's a truly down to earth, good person, marriage can be great. Unfortunately the US centers their taxation system around marriage, which I've always found to be strange, but it helps out a lot. Also having a lifelong partner can be fulfilling. I was fortunate enough to find the right girl when I was a child and grew up with her. Even then we didn't get married until we dated for like 5 years. But again you don't *need* a piece of paper to have a lifelong partner in this country, its just added benefits if you know you're with the right person.
@@yderga8707 May I ask where you guys are based, e.g. continent? I would assume that the law says you can keep everything you have earnt/acquired before marriage, but have to split equal all assets which you acquired during the marriage? I think that unless there weren't any children involved during marriage or the man didn't want his wife to become a housewife (or she was already not working when getting into marriage) no alimonies nor support should be paid after separation as every woman should be capable of making her own earnings. It is quite a catch 22 though, because women who are successful and independent and make a good living are less desired by men for dating and marriage. So more well situated men go for women who earn significantly less but instead provide the looks. This creates a huge gap in the relationship and a power imbalance in marriage.
I cant think of 5, is 1 good enough 😂
@@OutyMan isn't the deal that you only split whatever you have gained in a marriage, but not if the wealth was acquired prior to the marriage?
"You're led around by your sense of smell and your ability to detect symmetry" 🙌👏
Short answer: she finds out what you are really like over time.
Tell her like this: if you don't love me at my worst, then you don't deserve me at my best. Be gone witch.
Lol
What makes her think you’re nit good enough for her to leave, how about she’s not good enough, so she mine as well stay
Men: Go Your Own Way. Stop giving females the attention they crave.
Man or women.. you will never be enough for the wrong person. Accountability means you don't take it personally. Another person will always be themselves, they will never be your self.
When a woman looses respect for a man - the attraction will ultimately leave as well
True...and visa versa
@@nickbrennan3389 copy
Who hurt you man? That is absolutely not true.
I think it’s a harmful idea to suggest expressing emotion as a man is harmful to a relationship. Arguably this could have some basis if the man doesn’t act positively on their negative emotions eg. Moaning about hardships but not working to remove them. You’re in for a lonely and shallow relationship if you don’t express emotions healthily.
carieyoung1 truth
He’s so happy when he’s teaching. One of the great minds of our time.
Stuff it.
He can’t fix his own problems how’s he any good!
@@andrewtyson7670 everyone will have problems, this man is different type of mind, no matter how much you try to discredit him, he will always be super smart, he will always be passing knowledges down.
@@andrewtyson7670 gotta love all these blank profiles talking sh*t about him 😭
@@andrewtyson7670 I’m learning about this whole human thing, and I wish to one day that I’ll be competent in it. But if you will please… perhaps I can be helped to better understand something that you said about this individual speaking not being “any good”… based on his inability to “fix himself”. It’s appearing to be rather difficult through this limited interaction with him, for my ability to understand what specific characteristics of his, need “fixing”. Could you please help me? I gather that you are a rather approachable individual among this platform of communication between individuals, and would be most appreciative of any help or guidance that can be afforded by you. Thank you.
This man analyzes human nature and behaviors like nobody I have ever seen in my entire life. Very brilliant man.
Check out Alan watts. Gives homie Jordan a run for his money that's for sure.
I literally have been doing this and trying to teach people for a very long time and people just don’t listen. Too often are people busy judging me in some way whether it is my age, my looks, the way I dress, me being a woman it is always something. A man at church said “I didn’t know you were smart and talented I thought you just looked good.” Seriously? Sometimes I am not sure if I am in an ongoing nightmare or some type of simulation.
Keep looking
@@kevincole1 not at all
@@silverlining6259 I'm not saying that Jordan P isn't brilliant and absolutely a positive male force in our species. I'm saying if you want to dig deeper into contemporaries with this school of thought, check out who they benefited from. People like Alan Watts, Jiddu Krishnamurti and Osho Rajneesh for example. All God's amongst men.
Daamn Peterson in his old clips looked so full of enthusiasm. You can tell by the way he carries himself now that all the politic stuff has really weighted on him. He's at his best when he can talk about Piaget and Jung and the Bible because of how legitimately happy he seems.
He's worn out. He's a psychologist and is really happy to talk about his life passion with psychology nerds. Yet, he is stuck with political activists that don't want anything to do with his domain and who constantly put words in his mouth.
Well and his wife of 30 years is dying. But sure, politics.
@@violetgc6049 Oh, didn't know about that. I don't dig for info about the private lives of the people I see on TH-cam.
@@violetgc6049 he seemed waaay more serious and depressed well Over a year before his wife was diagnosed; but obviously that was way worse than any stress from politics.
@@claude-alexandretrudeau1830 yes! It's almost as if the culture clash is forcing him to take on these political topics for the sake of saving people from themselves. But it is wearing on him. Likely exhausting.
I love the way JP's video are always labeled with a clickbait title that has nothing to do with their actual content.
Rolando G
please make a meme out of this and post it on r/JordanPeterson
I think you need one of those multi level memes for this one. Like the one with the brain that gets bigger and shinier:
"JP Videos with Clickbait Titles"
"JP Videos with Clickbait Titles that You Understand Halfway Through the Video"
"JP Videos with Clickbait Titles that You Spend The Next Six Months Figuring Out Were Actually Not Clickbait"
Rolando G im sorry.. but you just didnt get it 🤭
Video title: How to get women
JP: "You have to clean your room."
@@andir8119 what's that?
This is the most important person I’ve ever had in my life.
@nick m. ...said 'nick m.' to himself.
M simply as an example of an articulate conveyer of meaning. But even the meanings he conveys are important too!
Same.
@Sattva Ram Care to elaborate a bit more than just saying "he's stupid" ?
@Sattva Ram You're entitled to your opinion about the man, but Jordan Peterson has helped many young men. What good have YOU done for society?
Physical attraction is what starts a relationship, where it goes from there is down to the individuals involved. There are 12 years between my wife & I. We are best mates as well as lovers. We base our relationship on four values, Trust, honesty, loyalty & respect. We have been together for 15 years now & are still incredibly happy. I support everything she wants to do & she supports me. We are a ‘rock’ for each other & have grown together over the years.
I give you 12-13 more years then shut your mouth you newlywed.
Everything? Everything she wants to do?
Good luck with that.
@@robertdeskoski9783 judging by this comment, it seems clear to me you don’t get much luck with women or relationships, or your trust of women has been damaged in some way. Don’t project your shortcomings onto others. Our relationship is and will always remain strong, 15.5 years in and counting.
@@hikingwiththeshackletons: You got a lot from two sentences, bud, but no. You don't give someone else everything they want, it turns you into a doormat.
Pretty standard advice.
@@robertdeskoski9783 yes you do, but we don’t see it that way, I am not a door mat, I think you misunderstood my meaning of ‘anything she wants’ we have mutual respect for each other & do not take each other for granted
Now, imagine being in that class and trying to take notes. Peterson has the amazing ability to bounce from one topic to an analogy, then to a metaphor, then to a correlated historical event, to a psychological field, around to some raw data, then interpret the data, to then speak on a societal issue, to then loop back to the topic, and all of that being somehow connected to the topic at hand. At the same time, it is as separate as possible without losing that one common thread. Amazing skill with articulation and oration.
Do you know what pedant means?
@@sharonmontano4924
I know what pedant means, but why do you ask? I get that Peterson can focus on some minute details in his courses and extrapolate them sometimes, but it usually is fine since he stays within the topic at hand. Maybe you’re speaking on his zeal for academic learning and teaching, in which case he would definitely be a pedant. Again though, why did you ask?
orate these nutz on your chin
@@CkVaderDude
Ah, Shakespeare reborn! Such skill! Such elegance! Such beauty with the written word! Grant is another beautiful soliloquy, my dear amphibian!!
it's like hearing a comedian start a joke in the beginning of their set and end it somehow with the ending of the joke they started at the beginning.
Basically people fall out of love because they realize the other person is human. Huh.
It's called idealizing and results in the death of a dream.
yeah.. makes you think..
It’s called “reality.” People are imperfect.
Shallow people might. But what value is the love of someone so shallow they only 'love' imaginary people.
I think that's a part of beeing a man ,you can't show no weakness to almost no one , and certainly to no woman
Could you imagine having him as your professor. I'd always be late to my next class.
hahahhaha yes same lmao
xD
He's sounds like the type of guy who hold you back till he's done talking that's why. Because for 6 minutes straight there literally nothing special about anything he's saying. The last minute is completely unrelated
Can you imagine having him as your father
I'd be late to my next date.
What 'next' class LoL!!
**Swoons**
What I appreciate most about Jordan is his absolute joy of (1) teaching, and of (2) trying to understand and comprehend the world around him. Whether I disagree or agree with him on any given point is irrelevant because it will never change the fact I love seeing him in his element because of those two things.
A very rare example of a man who speaks truth, and he genuinely helps people.
Is it really that rare? The thing that makes Jordan Peterson so amazing is his brain, dedication to learning, taking that learning as far as he can and then making it coherent so he can pass it on to others. A lot of people speak the truth and genuinely help people, but most are not comparable to Jordan Peterson
Amen ! No maybees about it !
He genuinely helps men, he hates women.
Jordan B Peterson, the man with a beautiful mind.
Fairly average
💯😍
@Les Brown yes that does!
The man with a benzobrain.
You do precisely what Peterson describes: oversimplifying and idealising a person, by your own projections/assumptions.
Peterson is not the man with a beautifull mind. On the contrary: he's at war with so called 'Marxism', because he wants his christianity not become obsolete.
“The more ideal they are, the more interested in them you are.” The overwhelming adoration that the millions of people have shown for Peterson speaks a wealth about him.
But what about those who find him shallow and contemptible? Does that say anything about him? No, he is what he is, whatever anybody thinks.
@@MrDorbel he's pretty much the opposite of shallos
@@nukepizzaa Yes you are probably right, but it might be fair to say that he uses his intellect to put forward a rather narrow ethos, rather than in any spirit of enquiry. I can't imagine him saying, "That's an interesting point, I'll give it some thought" or " I may be wrong" or "I can't prove that of course". I do find his views contemptible on the whole though.
@@MrDorbel okay, I've found him saying 'im not sure how that plays into... "," I don't know about that "," I'm not sure if that's true " a few times but that's rare I agree. He said that in the GQ interview what we can do about the inequality in capitalism. He doesn't know. sorry that's the only quote I can give you right now in like controversial debates but I ve seen him being more inquiring when talking to students for example and to like-minded people but I think that's natural. That defensiveness is just natural when you're attacked.
What do you find contemptable about his views?
@@nukepizzaa His open dislike of feminism and the encouragement of young men who feel held back by feminists.
It is quite sad to see how happy Jordan was back then giving lectures, now with all the hate on him it has left him scared and tired. I wonder if he ever wishes to go back to the old days were he could just be this awesome tutor without the hate. Wish him all the best!
Scared and tired? Lol ok
While I am sad how much he has suffered, it’s a better chance that Peterson has been contacted by thousands if not hundreds by individuals who were practically saved by Peterson’s lectures. With that, Jordan has had a heavy burden to be the few who have reached a lost generation to help them improve their lives and everyone else’s lives as a result, and I’m certain that he continues knowing that has been his purpose in life that likely he would ultimately never regret what has happened. Ironically you could say ideally we expected him to have an easier time to reach these individuals, but his example of keeping calm with the chaos around has made him a shining example that it is what brings more people to want to learn about his studies and wisdom.
He wouldn't change it for anything... because he knows the truth. The haters don't hate HIM. They inherently know that they don't have what he does... the truth! So, they hate him.
@smokedoubt1262 Maybe "scarred" and tired?
Yes. A welcome sense of humour evident here. Not seen much of that lately.
He just explained why Everybody’s normal until you get to know them.
I love how he can give over complex ideas in such a well articulated manner, yet also somehow manages to create or find humor in the idea. Now that’s ideal
Unkindness. To a decent person, a kind and thoughtful partner overcomes a multitude. When that’s lacking and ugliness creeps in, love disappears.
So very very true - you put it in a nutshell. Thoughtlessness, and non reciprocation, in response to a ‘partner’ who is giving and loving, is a sure path to the end of a relationship and the diminution of love - and especially when the one who is doing the giving does so from a place of strength and not neediness - and consequently also has the strength to remove her/himself from the relationship … and move on.
THIS!
Unkind behaviors toward one’s partner creates distance, by either person in the relationship.
When we idealize and then recognize the truth of the other person, we either accept that person or move on!
I think it depends on the sort of woman honestly
@@whoblitzell
I’m asking for clarification only. What, specifically, depends on the sort of woman?
For example - Some women don’t care about kindness?
Thats EXACTLY my situation. My wife have been on and off over 14 years. She wants to be single and party while we have a newborn and tries to push me into the housewife role while trying to work. She puts me down constantly and I noticed a pattern over the years. Everytime she's out of my life my happiness and financial situation improves tremendously. I rarely raise my voice, speak in anger or say regrettable things but I can't say my respect is reciprocated or appreciated. :(
I never developed any ideal man. My mother told me
"You could marry a handsome man and he treats you bad, you could marry an ugly man and he treats you bad. Find a man who treats you well and protect you".
With my partner I was focused about his morals and values.
Glad I found him.
He also never had any exceptions on me. He had no idea what he was looking for.
I do not believe in love at first site. But we bonded straight away and were completely comfortable with each other. It felt like we always knew each other. We are almost opposite in personality but United on our morals and values.
You're blessed
I can tell by how you worded this that you wish he was a little prettier. Great message nonetheless.
@@danp4350 I don't care how he looks, but how he treats me.
I tried to word in a factual way. And unfortunately stating things factually can be brutal and I tried to be gentle. I myself am not a prize to look at (average at best).
Because there is nothing better in the world than being wrapped up in the arms of someone you love. That warmth and comfortable feeling you get. You can only get that if you truely love someone.
Like every person loses their looks when the get old or if they have an accident.
Plus dude my partner has said to me he wished I was shorter. I didn't get butt hurt and laughed.
It is what it is. Maybe it's how you feel and you're projecting.
@@danp4350 That's a shitty thing to say
❤️
“You are attracted to them because they smell good and are symmetrical” 😂😂😂
Sounds like something Joe Biden would say.
This sounds like a bit of throwaway humour but i think he's refering to studies thats have shown us to trust more symetrical faces and that people who smell good to us have opposite genes which provides healthier children. Slaves to our biology lol
@@alexsmith-mm3xd almost there with the 'smell good' part but to be precise; people who 'smell' like their Major histocompatibility complex (MHC) is compatible with ours (a display of immune health and therefore general health) are found to be attractive.
Especially since it’s true. Pheromones and the Golden Mean
@@MrHuddo "Awkcthually" you rn.
The clickbaity title only focuses on the woman losing attraction for a man, but Peterson is clear that this happens for both sexes: an idealistic version of a woman/man inside the man/woman's mind is what results in the dissonance between what the man/woman believed/thought about the woman/man versus the reality of who she/he really is.
A click bait is justifiable as i have a 1000 videos in my saved for later list. And most of the viewers are men.
Roane Swindon the reason why men like women and why women like men are different, so the reason they fall out of love is surely different as well. Could be that their idealistic view doesnt come true but goes even deeper than that and will be vastly different reasons for each gender
Emotional maturity also plays a role. Everyone has a romanticized ideal of their romantic partners. With maturity and growth, however, we learn that a real person with real imperfections is more intriguing than a fairytale character. We practice compassion for our mates’ shortcomings and love the real person.
The obvious exceptions are if the person is very abusive or a threat/danger. Or if the person maliciously misrepresented themselves to attract a partner and then doesn’t live up to the facade. If you know your girlfriend loves classical opera, don’t pretend to be interested in it, too, and then refuse to take her to the opera once she marries you.
@@markdelej Okay, I like my husband because he is handsome and sexy, because he is fun to be with, because he gets me out of my shell, because he is smart and grounded. He told me that he liked me because he found me pretty and sexy, because I’m intelligent and nice, because I’m open-minded and non-materialistic. Not sooo very different. Well, we have one specific thing to us, which will not work for all couples - we never lie to each other and always tell the truth, even if it will hurt. It helps a lot that we are both on that page. I would not recommend this to everybody. But the rest is pretty common I would say.
Evelina Dimova ok yeah makes sense. But the only thing is that when a woman finds a man handsome and sexy it often has a very different meaning than when a man finds a woman sexy. When a man finds a woman sexy he literally means she physically looks attractive and he wants to have sex with her, like he is meaning 99% to do with looks. When a woman says a man is sexy it could mean much less about his literal body and face but can be more of a sexy vibe he gives off. Like i remember my last gf saying it was sexy when i drove a car, no man would ever think a woman is sexy driving. My ex said my best feature were my hands. Again no man ever cared about a woman’s hands. Girls can find sexy men in uniforms, men with status, men who are good with animals, men who are good with children and babies, men who are good at their jobs, men who drive nice cars, men who are funny, men who are alpha males, men who are dominant, men with great faces and hair and men with good bodies. But men are only attracted to women who are physically hot and sometimes their personality matters a lot too and their clothes and hair but that is it really. I think fundamentally women like guys that make them feel a certain way. Definitely seems like women want to feel good than for the guy to just be hot. And with men they mostly want the girl to be hot. Definitely seems like men are going for 80%- 90% looks when choosing a female and seems like women are going for like 20-30% looks when choosing a guy. I think individual women are all very different whereas nearly all men agree on which women are hot.
But yeah i dont fully know cos im a male and never had the mindset of a female. Am i somewhat close with my theory on women or would you say im way off?
This man loves what hes doing and what he´s talking about in a honest manner saves lifes.. he saved mine honestly. he is the true MVP, most valueable professor
Lame
One thing that I think is very important is to find a mate with which you share interests! You constantly have a wealth of things to do in which you can grow together. My wife and I are constantly hiking, biking, climbing, kayaking, and wandering around together. We challenge each other and we constantly have things to do, talk about and share. For the most part, we grow in a very similar direction that is very binding and true. And of course... trust, kindness and love are the foundations beneath this component.
Not everyone has interests.. 🙂
My man just likes to chill at home. 😂
You just proved a point of something we all grew up hearing and it's not a good thing. Opposites attract.
Our world would be so much better if we had more university lecturers like this in different subjects.
Preferably long before University... Then we might find more kids staying engaged at high school.
I'm afraid he's the last like him to come.
I can’t get enough of Dr P! I can literally listen to him ALL DAY!! While I’m cooking, working, driving, working out, falling asleep... LOVE his knowledge!
55% of men think like him.
Not a big deal!
@@Namchem wow, I wish that true😆
You didn't mention the topic of discussion.
That sounds healthy.
They say sarcasm is a form of anger and bad for your heart.
When such a well-studied mind turns these proufound thoughts into a stream of consciousness that is just about second to none. Thank you Dr. Peterson.
Agreed. The wealth of knowledge within that stream is beautiful
Thank benzodiazepines
I wish i had Jordan Peterson as a teacher when i was younger. I love my father and mother and they taught me things but this mans knowledge and understanding would have been the exact thing I needed at a younger age.
I totally agree I believe now psychology should be taught through junior high and high schools so people can understand people better and pick up on ques. On good vibes and attitude compared to bad ones.
I was an introvert and figured out most of this on my own. For me introvert was social cowardice, worst manifestation was with regard to girls I liked most, so I killed that part of me and been outgoing ever since.
"If you're extroverted, you're interested in people". I'd argue that introverts can also be interested in people - they just go about it differently.
Am an introvert can confirm
Im interested in people
I like watching but zi dont lioe interacting, and when it gets loud Im going to need space
If you are extrovert you are interested in other people's reaction to you.
Actually the reason ppl are introvents is cause they care so much what ppl think theyre afraid of them
I'd say it's more of a need than an interest
@@444mviews9 extroverts are people pleasers most of the time to get people to like them.
Imagine that you have your requirements so high that everyone is a disappointment and you end up with cats and wine to dull the pain.
Lol...that’s funny
So true
H😄
@brunetteordie
i think that you described me...but i have a dog and use beer.
mad season--river of deceit
john mellencamp--paper in fire
i always wanted freedom. now i have it in the biggest way. except for the dog thing.
Like Gayle on Bob's Burgers, with her cat, Mr Business!!😆😆
I think attraction is lost through a lack of maturity. I was 20 when I had my first daughter. I anticipated years of growth between my wife and I. I accepted that we would experience each other's mistakes and I took it upon myself to endure that. People who have hard times accepting that are self-centered.
You are making a rather simplistic blanket statement about complex human connection/interaction
@@MadBalmer1 lack of maturity is the reason why I left both of my previous partners and the reason why all the girls I know left their partners. Ofc its more nuanced and humans are difficult but it’s just a fact that guys in their early twenties aren’t as adult like as the girls. So yeah that is a bummer sometimes.
@@hilderenshof2476 Yeah I get it. But sometimes people just grow in different ways and different directions. You can get to the point where a couple simply doesn't have the same goals, interests, desires or directions anymore. That happens, not just in relationships, but in many of your friendships as well
Agreed!! It’s all about me getting my needs met it’s not about love I got sick and found out my ex was cheating hide money and when a judge removed him from the house after threatening my life we Found more than him just cheating! Tons of stuff I found in the house as I packed us things up. I was with him since 18 years of age all the way to my early 40s and we had two kids multiple lies cheating hiding money telling a therapist a schizophrenic. I agree most people get a divorce due to maturity insures and not really knowing what commitment and love entails let alone a vow!
@@MadBalmer1 most therapist would tell you the same thing basically it’s a lack of growth and willingness to except that the grass is brown no matter where you go to try to find it there’s always brown in that green grass doll. It’s not all rainbows and cupcakes you know when you get married and if you know anything about love you would understand if the issue is and today’s society most people have not had good examples of healthy relationships that show love we have more examples of showing hate revenge jealousy. Sad
Married 30 plus years, my husband and I had some rough spots. The bottom line is commitment to family, to one another, patience, and forgiveness. Not in that order!
It goes both ways. Either spouse can lose attraction for the other. It’s not always the man’s fault or the women’s. Either can be abusive physically, emotionally, verbally and spiritually (for religious couples). Everybody wants to say, “it’s always the women or always the man”, but in reality it can be either party who destroys the relationship.
Oh my God, this professor is too good when you actually follow what he is saying
I think the important thing to note is life isn’t perfect and certainly neither are people. If you feel a certain way about someone, you feel interested in them, understand that it’s 1) usually rare and 2) if it’s reciprocated (which requires risk taking to find out) then you ought to pursue it and finally 3) once it’s achieved it requires a lifetime of effort on both parties to continue to work on themselves to remain at the level of interest that sparked the initial feeling to begin with. The saying “don’t let life slip you by” could be directly applied to relationships. If you allow inattention to take hold it will slowly corrode the things you worked hard to achieve. All great things in life require the constant and consistent effort of maintenance and the only way it doesn’t feel like a chore is if you act on true passion and feelings rather than superficial archetypes you believe will make you happy, when in fact they always fall short and fade. Just be honest with yourself, it’s all any of us can really do.
Exactly so well said💕
Wise words
Tow thing's i tell myself and young people. One being Dont bull shit yourself! We all do it for one reason or another but even if your doing something that goes against your conscious or lack thereof dont lie to yourself about it. It maybe the only thread of rope left at the end to pull yourself out of the help you created. Two as applie to marriage and relationships. Simple as its is Be good to each other! Profound right? 😂 but always always keep that on mind. Rub feet when they hurt shoulders backs what have your. Even when your tired! Give an encouraging word even if you feel like s hit and a half ass failure. Bring each other up always! 2 simple things that's can help you avoid a whole lot of hell!
If they were unfaithful in any way, unavailable and even worse unaccountable there you go. A person man or woman will always remember that at least at some point in time the person did not truly care about them nor actually love them and did not care about their actual well being and did not care about what the person could and should have with someone who actually is ready who is healthy available for a healthy honest fully faithful in every sense relationship which means what it literally means and is already ready in time of singleness before friendship pursuing someone courting dating etc. A person will always remember this and therefore will always long to be with/ find someone who actually cares about them and loves them and is fully faithful in every sense. A relationship ends when someone seeks elsewhere. A thought in the heart is literally an action we are spiritual beings we have a spirit who is truly who we are and so it is at heart and spiritual and looking physically visually seeking in any way by any means by any media even in thought is physically seeking and also is at heart OBVIOUSLY even if it was at supposed to be friendship/ courting stage if you are pursuing someone it will always be remembered and known and felt. The one who has been unfaithful he/she was already divorced before getting married before when pursuing someone but then pursued seeked elsewhere thinking viewing lusting at heart truly that is what the reality is, tempted, seeking and seeing any or all of/ having something with someone else as if he/she is married to that person and you just deceive yourself and everyone else at heart and strum really drag around the person who you are pursuing/dating/married to. You divorced any premise of anything good real and what could have been with actual care actual love actual respect and full faithfulness in every sense the moment you are unfaithful even when you are pursuing someone before dating and when you have that at heart, it is deceitful and obviously in reality not honest. So by default the one who got cheated on at heart is divorced even in marriage. So at heart both are divorced. If one wasn't available and couldn't provide that for someone and yet took away from that someone what the person could of and should have with someone else for the person that they pursued, dated and then married Imagine having a child the child wouldn't have that provided either the healthy honest love and care and guidance and actual loving home and what the child and parents could all have and should have in their life. Imagine raising a child in that, a child who will also raise the next generation. Don't do that to all and don't let deceit take away from yourself nor others nor the next generations don't let that pass down. Treat all others as you would want to be treated, people are precious. Watch Living Waters on TH-cam its a great channel.
We all enjoy receiving love, but a lot of us fail to understand how to give love.
Jordon Petersen is a God given gift to any student who desires to grow and mature in different areas of their lives as a Man or woman. A Blessing!
You’ll never be happy if you don’t find the right person if and when you do. There will be no reason to look elsewhere because you’ll have to work on it the rest of your life kind of a two way street. Stay loyal remember the vows you took to be faithful and true. It worked for me until he passed we had sixty good years Good luck to all
My condolences for your loss. Thanks for the wisdom.
So sorry for your lost!!! That’s amazing the years y’all spent together 🙏🏽🙏🏽❤️❤️❤️
Thanks for your wisdowm, happy day for yu
Damn, sixty years. Not very common nowadays with a lot of people calling it quits after their first disagreement. You are very right that it is a two way street and marriage can be hard at times, but if you truly love each other, it is worth so much and more.
Beautiful
Great words as always, but please stop inventing stupid flashy titles for their clips.
Is the book good? Then don't judge the cover.
same. i hate false titles
@@5tw3b45tcf What makes it false .
@@markdemell8056 the video is not focused on why women become interested in men. Jordan doesn't even mention it in the video.
@@5tw3b45tcf Your so gullible .I was just being silly .
Well, to make your students laugh and smile while you talk your brains out with complicated lectures just shows how interested your students. That's a big accomplishment in itself.
This is so enlightening. I'm with a narcissist and I'm slowly coming to my senses.thank you for the explanation. Great class
i am a narcissist and i always was good to my girls. they even deny - me beeing a narcissist. humans are intelligent beeing having some control over their nature.
stop vilifying people by labeling them. a narcissist isnt a bad person, nor is a psychopath. its just something more wrong in their personality than with others which usually hurts themselves most. a alcoholic isnt per se beating up their loved ones. its only a few alcoholics but more so than average people would do. same with narcissists & co. most of them are fine good people.
usually when people complain about their partner beeing a narcissist the problem is actually on their own, just beeing to weak to draw their lines... their borders which they should work and resolve on... or they are the narcissist themselves and labeling the others as such.
remember, a narcissist usually looks for the blame in others , not himself. so could you be the narcissist?
become strong, know where your boundaries are and not let other people walk over them. no narcissist or whatever can hurt you again.
and sometimes the truth is, your current partner is no fit for you, maybe its better to quit the relationship. but people rather stay in a bad relationship than be alone for some time.
from now on stop thinking about what the other did wrong.. but rather think why did i allow this and how can i prevent this in the future.
Shut up.
I bet you are the narcissist....
Tangent:::I know a professor of psychology who had to quit (no surprise in the SanfranShitsco area) because he couldn't tell the damn truth!
Happily single is better than unhappy in a relationship. Don't be unequally yoked or allow yourself to be abused.
I've had a couple professors that are passionate like him.
It is such a gift to learn from someone this engaging.
💯❤
I have philosophical dissonance with Jordan, but he is still fun to listen to.
Yeah, you get one like him, you don't even need to take much notes, because it's actually interesting. I've learned, if you can make yourself honestly interested in a class subject, it's so much easier to pass...
So the reason why women lose attraction for their partners is because, they saw a non-existent ideal in the first place.
Dmitrijs Pavlovs They lose attraction because they are whimsical and capricious by nature. Western society encourages them to embrace their “whore” archetype - so pair bonding is all but shattered if they’ve had multiple partners. They will have a roving eye (looking to upgrade) until the are about 40-45 years old and begin to lose their sexual desirability.
..... umm, we lose our attraction for men we only connected with for a specific purpose..... and we also never lose our sexuality, it’s just reserved for whoever and whatever brings it to fore ...... you’re welcome.......
@@Tweedle457 of course you lose your sexuality, it's called hitting the wall. Can a 38 year old single mom have any guy she wants? No quality man touches that
@@sandlotscout6358 Women and men both age. Being human doesn't mean that you cease to be healthy and normal. I don't think youre being very realistic.
@@NikkiDocherty74 Men primarily assign sexual value to a woman based on her looks. A 38 year old woman does not look as good as a 28 year old woman, therefore she has less sexual value and less opportunity to sleep around. Meanwhile, a 38 year old man can often be a lot more attractive to a woman than a 28 year old man due to the type of things that women find attractive in a man.
"And you're mad because she's not who you thought she was. Well who said she was who you thought she was?! ...what do you know?!"
THANK YOU
I think this is the problem with young love. My HS boyfriend and I were like this , he wanted me to be and envisioned me to be Suzy homemaker because I looked so "innocent" he had this ideal image of me. And I tried hard to make him into this best friend play thing lol. We hurt each other a lot. It sucked. But it really taught me a lot for when I got older. Now happily married and changed ideals lol
And visa versa
You don't know who I think I am.. is more fitting today. People living social media alter ego's
Men treat relationships as an investment. If your investment has a low return on investment, then it’s a failed business. Women, unfortunately, change a lot in relationships. Men don’t. Most women don’t change for the better - hence the high divorce rate. Who she was is no longer who she is.
@@sonofsarek bingo. We invest for the long game. The guaranteed sexual partner etc. trouble is women use this trick to catch us. Then they go silent in the bed room. And we’re left still doing the work with zero pay.
You wish you'd been taught by someone like Peterson when you were a student yourself. What a gift for the kids present.
I reconciled myself to the fact that my wife isn't perfect long ago and the realisation allows me to love her all the more. What I really find difficult to accept is the realisation (which is even older, btw) that I'm not perfect either. Far from it in fact.
Well so long as you know that you are light years from being perfect. The truth will set you free
The word is realization, with a z, not an s. It’s cool, I got your back. I’m far from perfect as well. Trust me, it’s a big club. Full stop.
@@ronaldelliott4373 It's an s if you speak the Queen's English. Don't be so blinkered. I'll excuse you on this occasion though, because by your own admission, you are FAR from perfect.
@ pigslefats Was that you’re attempt to chastise me? 👍 I’m impressed. Thanks for the get out of jail free card, and the lesson. Regards from across the pond.
@@ronaldelliott4373 It's "your", not "you're" but I will excuse you on this occasion as by your own admission you are FAR from perfect. Regards and y'all have a good day now.
I don't know how much time I have left on this Earth, no one ever does well unless you're terminally ill, then you have a rough estimate... I however only ever really wanted to sit on a bench with a few people in my life and talk, and Jordan Peterson is the man I'd choose... Dr. Peterson has gotten me to see life from different views and I understand things that I always knew but never could comprehend like you cannot argue with feelings but with facts for the feelings will always triumph over facts even though facts should triumph over feelings so don't argue with feelings only argue with facts... now I can see where I was losing my battles, and I believe it's driving people crazy that I point out that they are using feelings instead of facts...
Anyhoo love learning off this man
To be fair, it IS a clickbait title, but Peterson did actually answer the clickbait question, somewhat inadvertently. Their projected image of the "ideal" man becomes shattered when they deepen the relationship with the particular man, thus losing attraction.
Aaron Dimoff Left out is the deliberate over-projection of perceived ideal traits by men (and women) to attempt to take advantage of this aspect.
Yes, sooner or later reality intrudes. The very things which attract become contentious with time.
Correct. But men can prevent the shattering of our ideal man by protecting, providing, defending, supporting, and loving your partner.
Good men know how to protect, defend, and provide. But few know how to support and love a woman which leaves women starved for love.
1969Vanessa G We have no teachers in our lives to show how to properly love and nurture a wife. It was only when I realized I had learned everything wrong from my utter failures of role models, and suffered the terrible heartache of doing the wrong things over and over, that I searched for the way that works. Regardless of the religious aspects, Christ’s example of being a man and being a husband to physical Israel and then spiritual Israel is the key. He is worth studying and imitating for simply the practical way His example works in practice. Provide, protect, defend, lift up, encourage, nurture, cherish, promote, outflowing love, unselfish care, denying the self, serving the needs of the wife. Being a sheltering greenhouse surroundings the wife, providing the optimal conditions for her to reach her full potential, for her to grow and bear good fruit. The side effect of all that effort is love, loyalty, respect, and you also eat of the good fruit with your wife, and family. Hard lessons though. The things that hurt me so much were my complete ignorance, I was destroyed for lack of knowledge, my lack of understanding, my selfishness, and my pride. There’s a reason Christ is meek, humble, lowly, kind, selfless... He is not weak, He is not a pushover, He is the King of all kings and all authority is in His hand, but He uses all that to selflessly serve and be a blessing and a force for good in the lives of His family. He reaches His full potential as a husband when His wife and family reach their full potential. It’s a beautiful thing and it works.
@@NodnarbRS
You were saved.
Love is recognizing someone’s flaws and not abandoning them or jumping the ship. Making a conscious choice to love someone with their flaws recognized for what they are.
Never saw JP crack up so much. Good to see he’s human
You should see him when he is talking about memories of him and his wife then.
he did an interview with Theo Von once where he clearly was taken off guard by Theo’s humor. Good to watch.
He thinks people are hilarious, and he is right.
Before watching this, I lost respect for my husband, I was embarrassed to be associated with him due to his dishonesty in business, constant lying and narcissism.he was also psychologically and then physically abusive. Glad I got free. Now I’ll see the “official, usual “ reasons!
This, this is the true reason why women lose respect and attraction for their partner. Glad you're free❤
It is pretty simple really. If your partner isn't turned off after having seen you at your absolute worst then you know that he or she truly loves you and will stand by your side even when the going really gets tough.
A women will never do that. Even if she does, she will because she feel guilty. If she is going to see the man at his worst, she will never trust him the same as she did before. She feel never feel protected enough and she will develop man characteristics for keeping her and the relationship safe.
Everybody have weakness, but as long as you know how to keep them for yourself as a man, everything will be fine. Otherwise, she will cheat. She will look unconsciously for somebody else that she will feel more powerfull.
your "absolute worse" is subjective.
To test a woman's loyalty, he has to have nothing.
To test a man's loyalty, he has to have everything.
Mutual RESPECT.... not love, is all that keeps a relationship going.
There will always be issues strong enough to pull you both apart and even threaten the love you share.
If there is still respect, you can both still say - I'm sorry, please, and thank you. With these words still available in a relationship and other nuances of respect, love will always be nutured back to life.
Genuine respect in a relationship will always revive / plant love. Its the reason marriages from older generations lasted a lifetime.
Respect is also the same reason our grandparents had better friendships and relationships with people in the community.
How many real friends do you have? How many of your so called friends can know about all your vulnerabilities and still respect you???
My entire life is a reoccuring scenario. Someone meets me they're enamored with my personality, humor, lexicon e c t.. sometime between a year and three years, one day boom persona non grata. And now finally I have an understanding. Thank you Jordan.
Lol well granted, you do have a good sense of humor
@@emmarose9466 sense of humour is essential
Actually imo it doesn't "just happen" - there are usually some events or something, that happen to cause this over the course of some time period.
There is no ideal man or partner, no perfection ,stop looking for this and you will find a mixture that could work
Yup I know lots of 30 to 50 year old men that blame women for them being single, yet there standards for the woman they want is astronomically high
@@marshallbeck9101 well if they resonate at a higher level then fine for a match that is rooted in harmony. However to seek love one must be love.
@victoriascurls well that's a good start.your intentions are set !
Every night from my earliest memory my mother would read a story before bedtime. From my earliest memory until we stopped I had been systematically indoctrinated into the PRINCESS mold waiting for my PRINCE. That's effed up.
@@rjrnj1 just remember the one about the frog and pretend your kiss didn't work. Then you'll feel unworthy and be happy your frog loves you anyway.
I Love this man. Jordan brings clarity, truth, wisdom and Joy to a confused divided world.
Quite ideal actually...
Jordan, I absolutely love this snippet of you. You seem so natural and ‘at home’. Genuine character and humour came out. Thank you for your existence, the planet glows brighter with you on it.
Man I would love to sit in on his classes...
Waste of time if you're focussed on passing exams though. The material is useless
Just think, before TH-cam and the internet, none of us would have ever heard anything he had to say, or would have even known who he is.
You can. I am. We are making consciousness.
Films, books, conversations, stories, culture... are these not evidence of consciousness outside of the brain?
Go directly to HIS channel. He has at least 3 of them posted IN FULL.
You just did. 🙂
He’s at his peak here, happy to be sharing his knowledge 🤓 blessings to him.
Anyone else read comments and not hear a word? 😌
Thanks for reminding me that I wad actually watching a video 😂
Respect, responsibility and pursuing the best in each other and negotiating the rest. It’s alive and growing.
i love listening to this man talk... open minded, sometimes open ended... refreshing... breaking down the barriers that others claim to be doors to solutions.
I have always thought about it like this :-the trait that attracts in the beginning is the very trait that will be despised in the end . Thanx.
I must admit: I am attracted to symmetrical women
Adrian Monk?
Thanks for sharing man, I thought I was alone
Say that to SJW's, and they'll call it a fetish.
an eye each side, an arm each side, a thingo each side. yep, symmetry for me too
I like freakish 3 breasted women.
Having been in the same relationship for almost 18 yrs, in my personal experience, change, whether it’s one’s outward personality, or spirit, tends to become apparent once challenged (or nurtured) in different situations and stage of life. There have been things that I grew impatient with with my husband and our dynamic had shifted a little where I just didn’t feel anything for him for yrs. Our relationship became somewhat mundane as we both focused on work and he just worked way too many hours. I found it interesting that he would say, “you’ve changed since we became serious”… Not realizing, so did he! We both did! Being married tends to drive people to only focus on the phases of life in getting somewhere as a family and not necessarily about what keeps the flame burning between 2 people, all work and no play.
My advice to anyone considering getting marriage is always make time or create space in your life for desire and intimacy.
I can't truly understand how anyone can loose interest in wanting time including intimate time with their spouse I've been married going on 16 years . Been through alot hubby and I but yea time together we've always had and intimatcy definitely. We have 3 kids aswell. I dunno maybe it's cuss I'm very loving and nurturing maybe it's cuse I'm a southerner. Dunno but snuggling up with the hubby and just even watching a show is good. It's the simple things in life together that mean the most.
Sometimes you just don't feel the same about someone anymore.
You have to be honest.
The alternative is living a lie!!!
I think this is definitely true and I think it is a common thing that alot of people struggle with. In other words, I think alot of people have a fantasy version of what it means to be in a relationship and then when they are surprised to see that their partner can't live up to their impractical expectation they are surprised. But I don't think that's necessarily either of their faults. I think it has more to do with what our culture teaches us and shows us about relationships. If anything we have been sold a lie when it comes to love and we bought it hook line and sinker.
Acceptance-not resignation-of a partner, and finding a way to continue to strive for what is best in yourself, this will take you further than most.
Stay mindful of living up to your own ideals regarding what you expect of yourself. Your partner stands a much better chance of staying attracted to you then.
Character is always what matters most at the end of your journey. If your partner is also doing these things as well, then you will have a better chance at this risky game. Encourage each other and help one another grow. It’s the two of you duking it out with the world.
Back each other up on it.
The trick for me is to find flaws, differences and problems interesting. A perfect partner is boring, it's fun to analyse and see what makes them tick, how they operate, and test your knowledge and understanding of them
I like that. 👍🏽 I’ll try to adopt that.
No, I dont think so. My wife was perfect and not boring.
I wish she was alive today.
It's nice to see JP enjoying himself teaching, the little laughs from the crowd, he is laughing a little also, good to see.
I've never seen Jordan Peterson smile and enjoy his lecture so much. The snickering students really have him a boost. ☺️
He loves to make people laugh, even when he doesn't mean to. It does visibly lift him up.
You can talk to me about anything... 3 months later ...(interior monologue / seldom expressed out loud) "Don't say what you mean" i.e. don't ask me hard questions, and don't express your real feelings around me.
I don’t think being introverted means you’re disinterested in people. It means you’re disinterested in interacting with people.
I like people but only one at a time.
@@arlingtonguy54 that is just it...We like to deal on a one on one...At deeper levels...
The projection in the beginning of a relationship is three things: It's who we think will 'save us' from ourselves, the potential we feel that we can love that person, and also the potential of who that person can and will be. There's so much more than just 'feelings' in the beginning. Ignorance isn't just bliss, it's truth. We don't know the future and we don't have to know it. There's hope, there's a future, and there's potential. Who we think will 'save us' will lead to disillusionment which is a great thing because no person on this planet can save us. That would make them God - which they aren't. As soon as you realize that your own problems don't go away because you have a great partner, you are on your way to having a resilient relationship that will last a lifetime. Enjoyed this video from Jordan because it's serious and light at the same time!
So true, thank you for articulating this so well
People leave each other when they dont realize that the other person is different, has his own upbringing and environment.
Clicked on this to see what I'm doing wrong in my relationships... and he pointed out some great things.
One should never assume anything about another person. There are 3 c's to a good relationship. Caring, communication, and consideration. That's the best. One can never expect that another person is responsible for your happiness. Sometimes a time out is good. It gives you time to think. It doesn't have to be 1000 years, but I think it's ok to step back when something seems overwhelming.
Holy God! This man is super intelligent love the way he thinks, the way he deliver his words..
This man has primarily changed my life and the way I look at the world
he has.. I did it myself and then i forgot it because i dont care for man and woman dont work -we all end up dead or kill and exploit all on earth -including every kind of animal and at the end give full power to machines and we end up in the same spot as dog to a human breder -he can whatever and you cant say no
That's why don't marry someone you're "in love" with...marry someone you like.
Or just don't marry, there's an idea!!
I married my husband after 1 and 1/2 years of dating. I saw how he reacted in many different situations , and I knew his kindness was his main trait. It's been difficult at times, but after two kids ( one with special needs), and 30 years, we love , like and " get" each other. He smelt
" Right" to me, and still does. The pheromone thing is Real!!😊👍
@@elizabethy2912 that is just sad
you will never know, a person can change or reval him self there is no other way and you people must be really stupid if you cant aknowledge the fact that everyone changes in time be it for good or bad, the question is will it benefit you?
Nah marry because you want to marry don't make excuses on why you should be married
Way too much superficial in today's world. People spend most of their lives trying to fit into everyone else's ideal and lose out on who they really are most of the time.
I learned to respect and love this man by watching videos of the classes he gave. As a fellow university prof of psychology, I just loved the way he got his students interested and how he pulled facts from different domains together. I also admire the man he has become though he is, as the saying goes, sadder and wiser today.
I still think Jordan's psycho-babble is 99% useless crap. If you are involved in a FT job, unfortunately you're doing the will of someone else for all your best waking hours. A person needs to explore their own will to become productive and independent. These are not values of the money matrix which preaches Jordan's ideal job monster, and of course existentialist selfishness. I'm not saying it's good or bad, just that it's a terrible life path.
You can tell he has three layers of thought fighting to emerge at the same time, I think elon put it well when he talked about how there's always loss of detail when explaining complex thoughts
Hey there. Do you have a link for when he talked about this? I'm interested to hear his thoughts.
@@ChrisDesi same
He's such a good speaker
Yes, he says a lot, but he doesnt say much.
Much like wheels spinning yet going NOWHERE
@@rvz77 what do you mean? He's articulating the human condition. He's helping people understand themselves on a deep level.
What are you expecting?
@@jeremyashcraft2053 I really like Jordan Peterson. He's an incredibly knowledgeable man.
The titles are misleading.
With those titles a person expects a direct answer.
He really is
@@rvz77 well thats not his fault
It’s a little clikbaity but in the end you really don’t mind.
Imagine having him as your mentor in some of the most important chapters of your life.
Thank God he never showed i gotta guy
His next door neighbors are lucky. I wonder if they invite him over now and then to sit around a fire a shoot the breeze.
Best explanation of something very fascinating and complex we all encounter. All teached on TH-cam within 8 seconds
Taught, but I'll try to give the benefit of the doubt. Perhaps English is not your native language?
In my experience… The reason I lost attraction to my husband was because the dynamic in our relationship changed. I felt like his mother… I felt like if I didn’t manage everything about our life it just simply wouldn’t get done. Because that’s what 15 years of experience taught me with him. So when he became child like it was, and this might sound really weird… Almost incestuous to even think of him in any kind of intimate way. It was nauseating and sad… And ultimately the demise of our marriage. (In addition to his porn addiction)😌
in my experience "he wanted me to be his mother" is usually female-talk for "he wanted ME to give HIM love..... like HE had needs or something"
you might be the rare exception, but i bet not. you females only know how to absorb love, not give it back. i really is all about you.
Yes, I apparently am the rare exception. Now, more than 23 years post divorce, my husband has 100% admitted to and agreed that he completely dropped the ball in our marriage. MOST women marry a good man with the best intentions and most certainly for love. Yes, of course I couldn’t agree more that men need and want love and nurturing. We ALL do. These red pill channels break my heart… I’d like to know the origins of why men got so disenchanted about women in general. As always there are two very valid perspectives. Women will never understand what testosterone drives a man to do… And men will never understand the role of estrogen in a woman’s life. Once again, if we could come together and communicate and try to understand one another, instead of fueling the battle of the sexes raging on, the success rate of relationships would go up instead of what is happening in our world today.
In addition… Do some research on what high speed Internet porn is doing to the minds of those who engage in regular watching. It will be the demise of relationships. It has certainly been the demise of many a marriage. Now we know it is literally changing the chemistry of the brain… It is just as addictive as heroin and cocaine. It is devastating our world today
@@smegg9676 gosh so many men bringing such bitterness to a woman simply sharing why her marriage broke down. One woman, not all of womankind.
@@senoritaaurora5123 it is my honest life experience.
When you are an introvert you too are interested in people. Maybe in a different manner. More from the inside out instead of from the outside in.
I agree with you, I am an introvert and deeply interested in people.
It is only that I cannot go on small talk about superfluous topics for too long. After some time that does not tell me anything about those I am interacting with. It is alright for some time to play the extrovert game, but wasted time and exhausting if that is the only option available.
Tiny Dot yes! You nailed it!!!!!!!
Yes, beautifully spoken my friend, yes!!!❤️😘
Yes, beautifully spoken my friend, yes!!❤️😘
Introvert here.... So selective!!