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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 25 มิ.ย. 2024
- What's the difference between love and being in love? Which would you rather hear someone say to you: “I love you” or “I’m in love with you”? While most people don’t realize it, loving someone and being in love with them can actually mean two very different things, especially in the world of psychology. Being in love is often associated with the early stages of a romantic relationship when things are still new and exciting. On the other hand, love is something that tends to naturally develop over time when there is friendship, understanding, and acceptance from another person. Do you want to know more on how to differentiate the two? Are you unsure if you're in love with someone or you just love them or vice versa? If so, this video is for you!
In our previous video, we also talked about the difference between love and lust. If you're interested, here's the link to the video: • 6 Differences Between ...
Writer: Chloe Avenasa
Script Editor: Morgan Franz
Script Manager: Kelly Soong
VO: Amanda Silvera
Music & Sound Design: Urban Goose Studios
Animator: Naphia
TH-cam Manager: Cindy Cheong
Mikulincer, M., & Goodman, G. S. (Eds.). (2006). Dynamics of romantic love: Attachment, caregiving, and sex. Guilford Press.
Langeslag, S. J., Muris, P., & Franken, I. H. (2013). Measuring romantic love: psychometric properties of the infatuation and attachment scales. Journal of sex research, 50 (8), 739-747.
Aron, A., Fisher, H., Mashek, D. J., Strong, G., Li, H., & Brown, L. L. (2005). Reward, motivation, and emotion systems associated with early-stage intense romantic love. Journal of neurophysiology.
Hatfield, E. (2004). Passionate love, companionate love, and intimacy. In Intimacy (pp. 267-292). Springer, Boston, MA.
If you have any stories or video requests that you would like to share with us, please email us at editorial@psych2go.net
Difference 1: Being in love with your Diamonds in Minecraft is different than loving your Iron
Love how this was pinned
You got pinned lol xD
I'm dying 😂😂😂
Waaaaaaaoooooooowwww
a
One big difference i’ve noticed is that when you’re in love you only see the good things about the other person but when you love someone you accept all their flaws and still love them all the same
That might also be a sign of limerence
@@abstract3213 i’m sorry but could you explain what that means?
@@little_swan07hey:) limerence is more obsession-like, accompanied by extensive fantasizing about the loved object, it is a deep romantic longing for another, usually because there is some "emptiness" inside you, you are trying to fill in, maybe lack of self love, that wasn't properly addressed, etc...and one of the signs is also refusing to see the bad traits of the personality of the loved one and seeing only the good traits. Limerence can just suddenly go away, or last unreasonably long time, like, years,...people describe that this intense longing for the loved one in limerence is so strong they could even feel physical pain in their body. It is similar to falling in love, but there are some differences. Maybe check the book Love and limerence by Dorothy Tennov.
@@abstract3213 thanks a lot! I’ll make sure to check it out.
@@little_swan07 you are very welcome :)
Its a very famous qoute I am sure everyone has heard it..
"When you Like a flower, you just pluck it. But when you Love a flower, you water it daily. One who understands this, understands life."
That's absolutely true
it's my favorite quote
Understand a part of life, not life itself
wow
And now i've realized, i'm not in love with them, i love them, period
Not sure if this is good or bad since they don't feel the same
Who would decide to stop loving that cute kitty :(
I was thinking more or less the same!
Only a monster.
Anyone without a damn heart
who COULD? D:
What cute kitty? :)
I never felt the "In love" feeling with my boyfriend. I never got the butterflies, I never got the palm sweats, or the upset stomach. I never got nervous jitters or the jealous rages. I never was paranoid and in need to know where he is (unless he hasn't responded to a text asking if he got home safe). I never felt the unending desire to be near him always.
Every guy I've liked in the past has been just what I've mentioned above and I've never pursued any of those people for long. My boyfriend walked into my life as simply as a leaf would fall to the ground. I never got the "gut attraction" feeling, I never blushed or was too nervous to talk to him. He walked up to the table where me and my friends were sitting and my heart just said "This one is different", then I offered him my cold leftover snack-bar nachos and the rest was history.
And I still have days where I forget we're dating, I still have moments where I think he's the ugliest person ever XD and I still have days where I wish I was single just because caring about a person it hard. But I care about him differently then I've cared about anyone ever before. Our relationship felt scary-natural. Yes, we had to learn how to be around each other, but being around him feels as easy as being by myself, even better sometimes. So to those of you waiting on love, you might already have it. You just have to choose to love that person.
This is so beautiful!!
Absolutely beautiful! Perfect definition of love being a choice. Which it is.
Omg this is so beautiful!
I feel exactly the same! Ive never heard of somenone feeling this with their partners and I always thought it was a bad thing because I didnt experience the "typical" love signs. Still, I know that I love him in a way ive never loved anyone before
This isn't being in love, this is a description of a crush
Violet The Cute Kitty Cat Proxy
Same symptoms, different labels.
You have a point!
Psych2Go hiiii your videos help me a lot ❤️ keep up the awesome work!!
@@Psych2go I love u will u marry me? 😭🥺
Does anyone here play Fortnite
The 7 main differences between "Love" and "Being in love":
1) Choice vs Emotion
2) Gradual vs Immediate
3) Lasting vs Fleeting
4) Challenging vs Easy
5) Sacrifice vs Support
6) Partnership vs Ownership
7) How THEY Feel vs How YOU Feel
Thank you❤️
I swear to god these bots
Why is this list so discouraging?
@@ivylee5490
Report them. We will get them banned.
🤔 I dont get it 🧛🏼♀️
To be honest, it took me a long time to finally realise what love actually was.
I always thought love felt like butterflies in your stomach and happiness when you heard the other person's name or voice. I always thought love was something you'd feel so strongly that you wouldn't miss it. You'd feel it instantly.
Because of how I thought, I never stayed in relationships for very long. Until I met my current boyfriend.
We used to fight a lot. I used to start fights because of my anxiety (amongst other issues). I always thought "I can't love him. I don't feel those sparks. I don't feel those good feelings. When the hell am I going to feel that?". Whenever I asked people what love feels like, they'd tell me:
"It's feeling happy when you're around that person."
"You just know."
"You feel butterflies!"
And i'd end up frustrated because I hadn't felt those things with anyone before. Of course I knew what attraction felt like. I was in relationships for a reason but I always wondered "Do I love this person?"
I've only recently (as in this year) realised what it means to love someone. You're not always going to feel those butterflies or that intense excitement when you hear their name or voice. You're not going to find them perfect forever. You'll eventually come to realise there are things you don't like about them. Things that you find weird/gross/annoying.
Love is something you work at. Love is when you want to keep that relationship going. When you will do anything to keep it strong and healthy. When you won't just leave them because of something you don't like about them or something as minor as that.
*TL;DR: I figured out what it means to love someone.*
I feel the same, thank you for sharing
Yup
💜
Thank you for expressing what I'm thinking and worrying about all the time. Could be helpful
Love is compromised. ❤️
Your mind is a powerful thing. When you fill it with positive thoughts, your life will start to change.
Amen!
Truth!
Not as easy as it sounds, but true nonetheless.
honestly
That’s true indeed, positive thoughts makes positive emotions which in turn makes positive energy with a higher vibration thus attracting positive things into your life. It’s as simple as that. Lol 😂
omg that is the comment I was searching for !!
"Falling in love" is the initial chemical reaction and attraction on meeting someone you click with. As time passes and you get to know the person, love will either grow or fade depending on the relationship and how you are treated. To be in love and to like someone, eventually turns to love. This is the magical trinity bestowed on few.
Simply put, we concur.
@@Psych2go yes
The trick is figuring out the difference between loving someone you consider family and loving them as an SO, I sadly have found little help for this problem
best way to describe it
@@ciannacoleman5125 love is love no matter what..the defining factor of what type of love it is comes down to boundaries
I both love and am in love with my boyfriend. The chemistry and sparks between us are unlike anything I’ve ever experienced, and the communication flows in such a healthy way that it’s no problem setting and respecting boundaries for each other. We talk about what is troubling each other and have mutual trust in one another. I’ve never been so happy with someone before :) ❤️
@@kodiak9079 many people did but weren't able to say it, consider it a message from your future self saying "I got you homie!"
@@kodiak9079 they were just commenting about themselves and their opinion. It doesnt matter if anyone asked. People have freedom of speak so why does it matter if anyone asked. No one ever asks you to give your opinion on social matters or politics, some people just do. You are probably single to respond something like that. Did anyone ask you what you thought? no, so that doesnt mean you cant comment either.
kodiak Free speech sweetie
👁👄👁
@@giulitriestoart142 damn, I was not gonna go to that extend but damn bro!
How long have you been together?
It’s just special to be loved and to be in love. Remember to cherish those moments
Yes, very powerful..
The difference between "like", "love", and "in love" is the same as the difference between "for now", "for a while", and "forever"
But being in love isn't forever
@@anabellececiliapeffall if you take everything literally, you won't believe in forever. Love was always there, and it won't ever fade. ;)
Wtf you just scrambled
@@anabellececiliapeffall if you feel it then is forever.
@MentalHealth you should change one part. Love is forever, in love is for a while.
I believe that "being in love" can become "loving" if both partners put in the work. It's just that people get scared and bored after the passionate feelings go away. If you give it time these can be built into a long-lasting happy partnership.
I like this because it's the first thing I've seen that didn't portray being in love as something that's magical and above your other love filled relationships. People really act like the moment they're in love with someone that person is the only one that matters and neglect their other relationships with their friends and family
Always needs to be a balance!
When in love, they don't need to make you happy, you're already happy being around them.
It’s also possible too love and be in love with someone. This is the kind of
romantic relationship that actually lasts
If loving someone seems or feels like you have to constantly punish yourself, you _still_ don't truly love him/her.
Or yourself, for that matter.
Balance is key. ;)
So goddamn true
Yep yep. You can still sacrifice and love them without pushing yourself beyond your limits and capabilities. 🙃
what if its like this : i'm the kind of people who cut toxic people easily out of my life and didn't even hesitate. but i still try to keep him even though he's toxic and not good for me. is it love or what?
Oh God I was looking for this statement
+Psych2Go
0:42 *Choice* vs. *Emotions*
1:18 *Gradual* vs. *Immediate*
1:57 *Lasting* vs. *Fleeting*
2:40 *Challenging* vs. *Easy*
3:17 *Sacrifice* vs. *Support*
3:56 *Partnership* vs. *Ownership*
4:27 *How They Feel* vs. *How You Feel*
People like you make life easier
thank you!
"Loving someone is about partnership than it is about ownership." Well said!
8 years with my husband and i still smile or laugh when i think about him. I love him but im also so in love with him.
I know my gf doesn't love me anymore and im living in denial. She wont leave me because she knows shes all i have and i think she likes the attention. Crying has become a norm for me and i know im hurting myself in the long run. Can you guys do a video on how to let go.
I feel like my boyfriend wrote this. But I really do love him. He just has so much self hate and I don't know how to show him I care. I try and try but he can't see
hey man, my advice would be talk to her and make things clear for you and for her :") i wish you all the very best🤍
Choose yourself first even if it hurts to let go. I really hope you do what brings you peace
@@chaahatgupta8126 i will, thank you(:
@@SonyaKhanOfficial building strength to accept this, thank you!
I used to think that love was about the butterflies, cute names, and having the exact same interests as me. I've been in past relationships where I thought I was in love even though they were only things that were very superficial and that they were my source of happiness, that I would be miserable without a partner. From my parents, I learned that you can't offer what you don't have. You can't bring happiness into a relationship if you don't already have it being single. From the Bible, 1 Corinthians 13:4-8, I learned that real love is more than a feeling, it's a principle. Meaning the commitment is still there even when the sparks are not. It endures and bears all things, including flaws, differences, and disagreements. You'll only be as young as you are now ever again, so in the mean time, look at being single as a gift rather than a curse because there are so many opportunities you can take right now that you wont be able to once you finally settle down. So if anyone out there is panicking about being alone, or feeling insecure, don't be. You have a choice in how to look at your situation. I hope you make a great one.
the worst thing is when you love someone and all they are is in love with you.
I am deeply madly in love with someone ❤️... Even after approx 2 years together my heart still skips a beat when I see him.. ❤️❤️❤️❤️
@gertech100 I know right!! Ty 🥺❤️
im both in love with someone & love them.. what does that mean? 😓
Aww, that's really cute! It seems you really care about them ❤
That's great, strawberry!
Now, LoL, when it's still that way after 29 years....
Yes, it is an incredibly awesome feeling 😍
We’ve been married 31 years and I love him more than ever !
0:57 *KPOP STANS ASSEMBLE*
YESSIR 🤩
EUSHSHS 💀
I was finding a comment about KBS loll😂💜
Lmfao 😂
Was looking for this comment 😂
Psych2Go: *posts an update*
me: *sees the title 😐*
also me: *clicks it anyway even tho I'm single*
wooden plank, it's okay if you're single.
Be patient, soon the right person will find their way to you. 😃
Wow. Hope you enjoyed it. You won't be single anytime soon with that membership sticker next to your name :)
Haha, same XD
Crushes and being in love with someone is what most people feel and why they break up quickly. Loving someone is a choice and not as easy to pin down but it’s warm and comforting. It’s a safe place when you’re scared and a rope to hang on to when you want to dive through life head first. It’s never easy and sometimes it’s painful but it never fades. In fact it grows stronger the more you try to resist it. Thank you so much for this channel, you have no idea how much you have helped me through the years.
My understanding of loving someone vs being in love is quite different. I see loving someone as something that happens gradually as you continue to spend more time and become more attached to someone. It’s not necessarily a choice since you don’t necessarily see it when it’s happening but at some point you will realize that you love them weather it’s after s fight or something where you almost lost them etc. It’s simply an attachment that you may or may not want but how they make you feel has you attached to them. And being in love or falling in love is more conscience. It’s having a strong admiration for having them and wanting to give your all to that person etc... it’s more of an excitement feeling as described in this video and you can fall in love with someone over and over throughout a relationship too.
I love this, because I became concerned if my love for my boyfriend was real or not as to if I was “in love” or actually “love” him. I really enjoyed the you put it “falling in love with them again and again” which is definitely something that happens to me when I see him supporting me and being there for me when I need him has me falling in love with him over and over again which makes me love him flaws and all over all. Btw it’s whether* not weather.
I think choice here is more or so deciding to be with a person because you love them. However, I like how you clarified what choice mainly can be used as: realizing you love them not choosing to. You can’t necessarily choose to love someone if the feeling of love simply isn’t there.
@@aestheticgcddess thank you for the correction I’m French haha. But Yes agree with you, I’ve been with my partner for two years and can relate. I love him even when im upset or irritated by him but other times he does things that remind me why I love him and. In those moments, I fall in love with him all over again.
Being at a certain age and stage in life and after sustaining a long term relationship it is my belief that being "in love" is the romantic phase of love. It can grow and develop into love. To love someone is to see ones flaws and imperfections and still care enough to stand the the trials and tribulations that come with time and being able to withstand them.
7 differences between love and being in love
Me: No thanks im single anyway
LMAO
Always has been
@Lone Wolf Nergigante then so is being single:(I could be joking...
who knows?):
I like the idea of being loved but not the idea of being IN love, I genuinely don't feel l would find true love or even love someone at such an extent cause I'm selfish and get bored easily
😂🙋🏻♀️
The difference between "being in love" and "love" is like the "Te quiero" and "te amo" in spanish
¿? Didn't you want to mean "Me gustas" and "Te quiero / Te amo" (this last two are different between them, but no one has that fleeting and non-lasting connotation)? I barely would say "te quiero" to someone that I do not think as dear to me.
@@azarishiba2559 I agree with you, te quiero is more in a friendly way, you don't need to be in love lmao
Interesting! Thanks for sharing Jessica. Do those translate directly?
@@Psych2go Translated to English both mean I love you, which I think is confusing for english-speakers! But "te quiero" is way softer than "te amo", it's like a combination of "I care about you" and "I like you", and it's commonly said to people besides a romantic partner, like a family member or a friend. "Te amo" can be more intimate and even though you can say it to any loved one, it's usually only said to a significant other.
@@mariwiwi Well explained n_n
wow . this is real . i have never thought about this . sometimes it's interchangeable . but definitely love is on and out in the bedroom when the sex is coming . i'm used to having the best experience thx to natural drops which boost your energy like nothing
actually my best friends told me about these natural aphrodisiacs. i must say they were true great results and we felt amazingly after only 5 drops
well for me falling in love was quick and gradual at the same time. When I met my boyfriend I knew there was something special in him and between us. In which I greatly wanted to pursue that. But it took time to understand him and know that I can love him for who he is in that moment and I did! Even after this realizing that I was in love with him hit me like a bus. It's different for everyone. The big test to being in love and you know your in love is when they might hurt you greatly with something they did/said (and this was only a one time thing) You can't help but still love them and the thought of them being with someone else makes you want to cry. You have the strength to forgive and move forward and they have the strength to do the right thing.
So basically, being "In Love" is infatuation
I see comments saying they didn’t feel what being in love is portrayed as in stories (butterflies, blushing, etc.) but rather what is platonic love for me. If you’re torn between loving and being in love with someone just know one thing: it’s different for E V E R Y O N E. I thought I felt romantic feelings for someone but realized it’s platonic. Yes, it may actually be romantic and I may be confused, I’ll figure out with TIME. I don’t mean to make you more confused with this, I just want you to know that being in love and loving is different for everyone. It shouldn’t ever be generalized about what it feels like. Hell, even this video is for POSSIBLE advice. It’s for help! It’s meant to help figure yourself out. Not tell you what to do or what to feel. Anyways, good luck figuring yourself out and have a great rest of your day/night 😌
When I first met my boyfriend it was love at first sight. After about a week I knew I was in love with him. And after 6 months of us being together I found out I was pregnant with our daughter. Now 16 years later we are still very much in love with each other and deeply love each other. We have 2 teenagers together and currently expecting our third child in a month! So everything that was explained in your video I can relate to. Love is supporting each other thru good times and bad. Being in love can turn to true love/soulmates!
Our situation is similar. We met and I knew he was the one . I was pregnant 8 weeks later and married 6 months to the day . Our big kids are 29 and 30 now . We have two granddaughters . Been married 31 years . I had a teenaged boyfriend for 5 years before but knew he wasn’t the one . Met my husband a week after my ex and I broke up . Never looked back !
Now that’s the love I wantv
I’m really happy for u congrats u are very lucky to have found this
Loving someone is a deep feeling of great fondness and it comes with time and giving and taking naturally.
Little expectations and total acceptance of one another.
Being in love is a chemistry..
Its more about physical attraction dreams and unrealistic expectations but glorious moments to ponder over.
Its not stable and doesn't last for long unless it grows into true love facing the tests of reality, time and challenges together in a solid partnership.
That's rare!
Is it possible that it could start off as being in love, and then turn to actual love?
I think so.
Yep
Very possible
Definitely
That is my cAse ❤️
My definition of being in love is that you give your all to that person in hopes of them feeling the same way and reciprocating. When the partner you are in love with doesn’t reciprocate at the same level & energy, you start to withdraw and it fizzles out. When you love someone it happens gradually, there’s times when you give a little more than the other person but then the other person rises up to that level and mutual respect and love for one another grows deeper.
Tbh this channel has helped me more than my therapist has
Real love of any kind is a rare and wonderful gift ♥️
When you find it, how do you protect it?
This video made me realize that I’m in love with my cat-
MY HEART ACHES FOR THAT CAT-
1:09
The art is so cute and I love her voice it’s so soft !
Glad you love the combination.
After 8 years, my then boyfriend and I broke up after he contracted corona and we didn’t see each other for 3 months. I wasn’t expecting that outcome and it’s been extremely hard for me to let him go. Recently he told me, “I still love you, but it’s not the same strong fire love.” That broke me even more because I still feel that way about him. Now I wonder how long ago he stopped loving me. In January it will be a year since we broke up and I still sob almost every night. I feel so depressed and lonely (I literally have no friends after moving to a different city an hour away) after our break up. And of course I miss him dearly.
cos covid? And time apart? Should make the heart grow fonder.. wasnt the one for u bby; after 5 years he decided to fall out of love.. so i know exactly how u feel. but i also know he is the one for me. This hurts reading this, cos the insta trauma.. i cry every night too and have nightmares and tremors from anxiety...
if he is always looking for that "fire love" i can tell you he will be going relationship after relationship seeking the "high" thats addiction / infatuation - not love. I know this is hard to hear rn and it hurts but you are better off fniding someone who will grow in building a loving relationship with you; rather than someone who doesnt want to be around when things become challenging or is dictated by their feelings rather than making sound choices. Would love an update on your life since this comment!
4 and a half years now and I still get that butterfly feeling whenever I get a text from my gf. I love her more than anyone else on this planet but I will never stop adoring this woman like a playground crush
Loving someone is conditional. When challenges arise, people are more likely to exit. And if there is a break up, at some point the two won't love each other anymore... Being in love is appropriately regarded as unconditional. It is much, much, much rarer. It persists well beyond the end of a relationship. If separated, even years later, the two can still feel each other and are linked forever. They never totally unlink from the person and un-admittedly cross the others' mind frequently. Most people have loved several, but have never been in love to know the difference. The video describes a crush/lust and love, but not being in love. It's the most powerful thing that can ever happen to you.
Do I find the thumbnail and the art very cute or am I being weird? 😅💕
Absolutely not the art style is awesome :D
Nah
Kobe Bryant and his wife fell in love at first sight both said
the way I RAN here as soon as i saw this
Is funny
When I first saw the notification, I thought it was going to be "Loving someone vs loving the idea of someone"
Would you like a video of that?
@@Psych2go Yes, that would be an excellent topic to cover. I actually have a whole list of ideas. I'm pretty sure if I spoke to some of your team members, we would have some pretty interesting conversations.
@@Psych2go Yes, that would be great!
This is what I understand as the difference between infatuation and love. Only the terminology is different. Infatuation can lead to true love, or it can fizzle out. Friendships that slowly develop into love over time are usually a much more stable basis.
Okay but like the animation is so cute and amazing
Glad you love it!
Loving someone is NOT a conscious choice. You aren’t “in love” with your kids, but you can’t stop loving them.
Yeah that was really dumb.
I think it was leaning more towards romantic love not parental love as the 2 are drastically different. Also you most definitely can stop loving your kids.
@@semikaylen1362 Yeah but you can’t choose whether or not you love them.
This video came in right when I was anxious about my relationship. This and peoples comments really helped to make me feel better, thank you
This video honestly changed my outlook on love so massively. Thank you so much!
When I met my now boyfriend of almost 6 years it was love at first sight for both of us. It was a connection I had never felt before in my 25 years of life. What's made our relationship so strong is that we both love each other for the people we are flaws n all.
is it possible to love someone first (as a friend), then gradually fall in love with them? i feel/experience signs of both for a certain someone so i think that's the case with me. although we aren't really close "friends" anymore due to personal reasons (we're still acquainted and in good terms though we lost contact ever since the pandemic began), i still care about her deeply not only because i'm in love with her but because she was my friend and she's a very special person to me. regardless of what happened, i feel like my love for her (platonically and romantically) continues to grow and won't fade away anytime soon. i'm not sure if it's influenced by the feeling of being in love, but what i do know is that whether i'm in love with her or not, she'll always be important to me and i'm always gonna love her.
This video just reaffirmed that I truly love my best friend of 9 years and that she loves me. I fell in love with her 7 years ago and those feelings are still here.
Every single time I think of her I smile. I hear her voice and it fills me with joy and calms me. I see her face and still get butterflies after all this time, every time. We speak and try to at least video chat every single day. She texts me and I immediately get excited. I love her, but I am also still in love with her after all this time.
Every moment we spend together is an irreplaceable gift that I cherish with my whole heart. It's still just as exciting to spend time with her as the day I realized I loved her.
The only thing you guys deserve to be told is you are phenomenal. You have no idea how much you have been helping us
Ooo an unlisted video
MelodyMuffinCat oh
How are u commenting 6 days ago
Agagaga
@기대공원 They literally just said the reason I-
Yeah
This makes so much sense for me now because I have always chosen to love people and even if they don’t feel the same then I just stop loving them
THIS!!!!
1:33-1:37 The sound and feeling of a heartbeat? Priceless for a love-related video on your channel.💓
I love the same person since 4 years and sometimes I'm also in love with them. It's the cherry on top, sweet and small
You forgot the most important thing about being inlove: it is attachment that comes from give and take
I disagree. Falling in love, and just caring about someone. Are both still not a “choice.”
Nobody “chooses” their feelings, regardless of how intense they are.
You can care about someone without loving them
Caring about someone is about as gradual as loving them but it's not a choice
Loving some one means you recognize your feelings towards them and turn it into love.
for example, I hate my brother. But I still care about him because he's part of my family.
Baron Doggo Balfour
Right. I agree completely 100%. I have the same ideology.
I’m just taking a different route by saying that it’s not a “choice” or a “decision.”
As humans, we are naturally instinctual. Just like animals. And these feelings motivate us and inspire us into action.
So what I’m really saying is that “free will” is an illusion. But it still feels like we are in control. Which feels good.
We are a slave to our emotions. But that’s okay.
Just enjoy the roller coaster ride of life. 🎢
Jdabomb93 I agree completely!
On the contrary we can choose our actions and act on our values. To say one is a slave to their emotions is the same is saying we are slaves to our urges and instincts which is not what being a human is. Love is a choice. Being a loving person is a choice.
Sarit Baron
And now the argument finally begins. I knew this day would come. Lol
Not only are we controlled by our emotions. But we are controlled by our belief systems and values too.
So it’s still not a choice.
Just another slave owner.
So what I’m really saying is... we have multiple forces of nature manipulating us to their will.
That’d it be, the government, your emotions, the police, your beliefs, pain, whatever it may be.
There’s always something outside of you, pestering you into taking a certain action.
So truly, you are not free. (And that’s okay. That’s the fun behind the game of life.)
To truly make an objectively based choice, one has to be without any outside influence or bias. Or it truly isn’t yours.
Cause when you are looking at a menu, and you choose something you want. It’s because you are being called to it.
And if you try to forcefully choose something you don’t want, (that may actually not be in your best of interest) you have to rationalize it to yourself and convince yourself that it is in your highest good.
As long as you believe that it is good for you. Only then will you be called into action to engage in it.
Example:
You may be a Christian, and your morals and belief systems tell you to only have sex when your married. Right?
But you have natural sexual desires within you, just like the rest of us.
You may suppress these urges in the name of god or whatever 🙄, and due to how much you believe in these “values,” you will make yourself suffer a sad miserable life for eternity until you’re married. And so you don’t go to hell. (Another force of nature. Fear)
Until one day, you meet someone very attractive. And you find out you have excellent chemistry with this person. And they might even be a soulmate for example.
Now you’re emotions and your innate instincts within you, stir up inside you.
And that’s when the conflict within us as humans begins. (Also known as cognitive dissonance.)
Your feelings challenge your beliefs and morals, and their can only be one winner at the end of the fight.
Who will win?
Who will take control of you?
The feeling that is the most intense of course.
And then it will “force” you into action.
It’s always an outside force pushing us into action.
Doesn’t matter if it’s good or bad. Satan or God.
We are pawns on a chessboard following orders(instincts) from god.
Because as humans, we are always on the lookout for the best feeling in the world. (However we may subjectively define what that is to us.)
That’s what we truly desire.
Is the best feeling we can ever obtain.
That’s our goal.
That’s the moral compass within us.
That it be love, happiness, enlightenment, whatever form of emotion you can imagine.
And we believe that we can obtain these emotions through sex, money, drugs, food, recognition, *Fill In The Blank:* ____
And our belief systems are just another tool or outlet to achieve it.
They are our goals, are dreams and aspirations. Our standards.
Because we believe that we will feel good in the having or chasing of them.
That’s how powerful are minds are.
That’s why you need to be extremely, extremely careful about what you believe in, because it may be incredibly devastating for your own well being.
That’s how powerful believing in something truly is.
I hope I’ve made sense, with my rants.
And I hope you consider my point of view, because I truly do “BELIEVE” that it holds water.
But you probably still don’t get it unfortunately. 😕 lol
i never had many positive examples of love to look up to besides movies and used to have low standards due to years of low self esteem and was in a cycle of self destructiveness with bad people until i met my last boyfriend. i'm pretty sure i fell in love. we were best friends for 2 years already and he was one of my go-to's for anything, whether it's emotional support, a laugh, boredom... We came into a relationship and it was not what I expected at all, nothing like those movie best-friends-turned-lovers tropes. i had anxiety about him leaving due to abandonment issues, he had trouble being aloof with affection and not understanding my needs, and that's what made me realize how different loving someone as a friend and being in love is. we worked through our issues and talked so much to get to a true point of understanding, respect, and love. we were both in love at that point and loved each other so deeply. i never realized what it was like to be treated so well. he supports all my dreams, translates all the feelings i cant explain, gives me new perspectives, calms me down, makes me discover things about myself that i never knew, and i learned how to love someone deeply and do the same for him. it got complicated when he had to break up with me because our parents would never accept our relationship (religious conflicts :/) and would kill us and it hindered our plans for a future together. it took forever to move on and im still in the process of doing so, it was the most painful thing ive ever went through. i had never made it this far past the honeymoon phase with someone and we both grew so much together that now that we're still back to best friends again but know each other on a whole new intimate level since we dated, i no longer know the difference between love and being in love anymore, since we're both still there for each other in all the same ways just as we were when we dated just minus the physical intimacy and exclusivity, but we're both still so special to each other. help, i dont know the difference anymore and i dont think i'll find someone like him ever again. sorry for the long comment just needed to rant im frustrated, my views on romance, friendship, and connection are just so muddled at this point, sometimes i think he was my soulmate but maybe just right person wrong time. it's ridiculous, i've been watching videos like these and reading novels like pride and prejudice just to help me figure out the difference
Hi Psych to Go!! I’m a big fan, and just wanted to say THANK YOU for teaching me basic psychology! It means a lot to me!
My boyfriend and I were together for a year and just yesterday, we broke up. He fell out of love with me and it damn near killed me hearing him say that he loved me but didnt feel in love with me anymore. Our love was so passionate last october when we got together and now november 2021 comes and its as if everything just died out. I love him dearly, and have accepted all of his flaws. We left things off in a goodish way. We text and called eachother a little just to see how our days went at school or work. We laughed together even, but it didnt fully feel the same. He came to visit me today at my house and I saw his face was stricken with sadness and guilt over our relarionship and wanting to call it off between us. But after giving him some gifts I wanted him to keep and forever treasure, and after walking with him back to the bus stop near my house, I could tell that he truly still loved and cared about me and was overall glad he got to see me. Especially when I was heading back to my place, he called me just to see that I had made it home safely. Im incredibly lucky to still have him be a part of my life, but my heart still yearns for him to be the love of my life. Its so hard with all of these feelings..
literally the video called it that first 6-12 months.. where the in love part starts . .goin another way.. that is because it isnt real love - it can become that but it has to be for BOTH parties wanting to make things work; if you keep choosing guys from broken homes or abusive homes; generally they don't even know HOW to make things work long term because they themselves had no way of a rolemodel for that; so they would need to work harder at it.. and many just dont want to - move forward and know that you will meet someone you can CHOOSE to love who will also CHOOSE you back to stay even in the hard times too when the "feels" are long gone but they STILL want to make things work..
I thought it was just a crush, can't bring myself to admit that I love him, yet this makes it sound like I'm _In Love_ which is rather scary, but at the same time, very refreshing 😊😘
in love in these senses IS a crush/ or infatuation; if you look up the definitions of crush and infatuation you will see they are similar 😊
I always come back to these types of videos every once and a while to refresh my memory and discern better. Thank you!
these are spot on! tbh, I can't wait until my being in love finally transforms into true love! I feel like lots of these are an indication that I do already genuinely love him, I'm just waiting for the feelings to settle down, then I want to move forward with our relationship calmly, happily and securely!
Loving someone is about how they make you feel, being in love is about how you make them feel. ... Loving someone means you are only concerned with how he makes you feel loved, special, or appreciated. Being in love means you worry about how to make him feel loved as well, because that's equally as important to you.
You are switching things it's the opposite
It’s the other way around actually.
@@acherine but in the video it's saying the opposite please explain
When you loved a boyfriend once but have been "in love" with multiple boyfriends because of that time in your life.... Makes you feel or think that love is actually better than in love. Wow. Kind of reminds me of what we ourselves learn as we get older.
This wasn't the video I was looking for, but the video I needed.
I thought I was doing something wrong, or just not doing anything, because I couldn't fall in love with anyone and as always started looking for solution on youtube.
After I haven't found anything I just scrolled videos and clicked the one with a cute thumbnail, and it actually helped more than anything else could.
Thank you
I’m currently in a place where I can’t seem to differentiate the two and this video clarified it just a little better for me. Thank you!
LOVING SOMEONE IS ABOUT OWNERSHIP, BEING IN LOVE IS A PARTNERSHIP.🙏❤️Selfhelpchampion
What?
Ive always grown up thinking being "in love" was more deeper than loving them. You can love your friends, family, people in general, love brownises, chocolate etc. I would say love is a very flexible word. But when I say i love someone, the question is always "but are you in love with them?" And i guess thats why to me being in love is corresponded to a deeper feeling than loving them. But i can understand both.
Wow a tough one though. Can I ask you a question please?
In all my life, i know that, somewhere there is difference, like, i can love a friend without being in love with (him/her) but i didn't see it clearly, this video made a strong difference and i totally agree, that was so useful thank you soo much!!🧡
Her voice is so relaxing~ the background music~ The animation ~ its all amazing and relaxing✨🌸💜
I was actually worried after some time of seeing my boyfriend that I didnt develop as passionate feelings for him as he did for me. So I was often criticizing myself since he is so good for me. Now I see Im probably on the good path:) Thank u!
This video is amazing!
your voice is so soft omg it feels like a bliss
I had both. True story, you can be in love with someone you love long term, and its amazing. He passed away last month. He was one of the greatest experiences of my life.
I recently developed ocd, and by recently I mean 2 years ago was when I first started ruminating over my intrusive thoughts. It started with fears that I didn't love my girlfriend because the honeymoon phase had faded away and being in love became love. However, I didn't see it that way as I was focused on the easy feelings and not the hard choices. Fast forward to now and, while I still have intrusive thoughts about how I feel about her, I have learned that love is so much more than the butterflies. Now, if I could stop thinking I'm a bad person because of new disturbing thoughts I would never act on, I'd be a very normal person. Ocd is so much fun!
I’m going through a similar situation right now. Only, in my case, I’m with someone that (unlike all the other crushes in my life previously) I don’t feel butterflies, but I feel very drawn to them and love to be around them, and they make me feel more comfortable and safe than anyone ever has. ❤️🩹
Not really because it’s a mix of the two, I would sacrifice certain stuff for her but dunno if she would do the same for me 🤷🏾♂️but she still supports me tho, our thing was gradually over time and it’s through thick and thin, because we know that whatever happens we’ll always love each other . And I do get jealous and possessive and she does to, but both of us know that it’s about letting go and respecting the other, whether or not the situation makes it easy or not, so i would say this video is innacurate 🤷🏾♂️.
This is life-saving!!! Thank you so much! I'm dating someone and wondered if I wasn't being honest because I didn't feel the crazy "in love" feelings although I care a lot about this person and want to grow with them. I appreciate to know that choosing love rather than just feeling it is what will usually bring the most lasting and selfless love and joy with your chosen partner.
Really appreciated this. It puts it in a clear and understandable way. One of the best ones I've watched.
This makes so much sense. In love is fleeting, that resonated so much. Always though in love was the desired goal but it’s so hindsight obvious to me now that to Love is enough..in love is never enough n is affected by how the person makes you feel. How my children make me feel will never change my love for them but a bf is on shells if he makes me feel certain ways one time too many..thank u so much
0:51 “Thats why u might find yourself attracted to people you really shouldnt be attracted to”
I SEE WHAT U DID THERE WITH THE KBS ON THE TV
Kpop stanssss😂
This 100% made the difference clearer! Thank you!
I never felt in lovr with my boyfriend and he seemed to have falling for me and i was guilting myself for.not loving him the way he loves me . this video cleared everything for me . got me to understand it all and it is the first guilt free breathe i take a long time i couldnt thank you enough
Difference: you can love your best friend without being in love with them
maybe sometimes some people can love their best friend as well BE IN love with them eh just saying
I swear those weird bots are repeating everything we say now :/
Please report them to TH-cam as spam or having inappropriate content on their channels. The more complaints they get the more likely they will be to ban their channels.
I swear those weird bots are repeating everything we say now :/
Watch this get repeated at least five times per video
What bots?
@@Psych2go
There has been a serious issue lately with spambots copying comments left by others and then replying to that comment with the exact same thing. Some of their user names have inappropriate words and their channels have links to live cams that are also inappropriate. I think all of the ones on this video have since been deleted but there are some on your latest video. Check out the comment that was pinned by your channel for an example.
I have been looking for a video like this in forever!
I appreciate the descriptions given. That said, for the longest time now, I've made sure to ignore the feelings of being in love. It never ends well for me.
It’s interesting because my words for these definitions are different. I see true, lasting love as “in love”, and what this video described as being “in love” is just a crush to me. I don’t really count it as love at all. But everyone can call it what they think suits it best, as long as they understand what it really means.
When you're rushing to be the first to comment but u see comments from weeks and months ago
I know! Unfortunately, people are finding these through unlisted.
Psych2Go wow i wonder what kind of videos are yet to be public??
Your true love isn't the one that makes you weak at the knees. Your true love is the one that makes you feel comfortable. This is a Japanese saying that I've tweaked a bit. But what it means is that your true love is someone that is unexpected. If you're weak at the knees it's probably just lust.
Can I just say I have been subscribed to you guys for a LONG time and your videos just keep getting better and better!