In my experience, I think the most important thing is: Trust your gut. When something feels off - it probably is When you feel hurt because of what your partner did - it means he/she hurt you and it's wrong if they don't accept it because "you're so sensitive", "I didn't mean to" No. Your gut always tells you if something is wrong and you can keep telling yourself it's not but that feeling won't go away. I'm just saying it because I used to ignore my gut and had to endure a lot of pain because of that - just watch out, be careful out there and never forget, your feelings matter!!
Hello. However, our "guts" work differently. They do so because we have different genetic predispositions, but also because we had different lives. our first relationships and experiences with people in the world, -and they differ from one individual to another-, determine somehow the way we behave in our current relationships. Our brains are like high computers, they gather information through every experience, and organize our behaviours according to them (we aren't aware of this organization). Our first relationships (especially with parents and primary caregivers) are so important because they kind of give our brains a first impression about how things work in the world. however, these experiences aren't representative to do so. They have a survival value, but it's too primitive and it can be tricky in our complex society. So here comes the problem: Some of us may -according to those experiences- take hardly some insignificant behaviours just because they're related to something bad that took place in the past, or because we've been getting a different pattern of caring behaviours when we were children that we see any different kind of attachment uncomfortable. This should teach us to be aware of our behavioural patterns, and try to control and fix what we find wrong among them, and build healthier ones. This isn't ought to be for the sake of the partner, as it is ought to be for our sakes. It makes our relationships easier, more successful, and healthier. To get an insight into the relationship between our behaviour in relationships and our past, i suggest reading the literatures about attachment styles theory. And you can see some videos about them in this channel first, and in "the school of life" channel, which is similar to this one, even though their topics aren't fully about psychology. Have a good life.
@@anis9503 that’s good how to described for relationships, if there’s something wrong that you didn’t realise or something you just have to force yourself for other reason instead just ordinary type.
8. When they talk about themselves a lot and don’t ask you questions about yourself P.S. I know people get nervous and ramble (this happens to me sometimes) but I’m speaking of those who are just too self-centered to notice who is sitting across from them
not in a relationship but my friend always talks abt herself. it's getting boring to talk to her nowadays. ik she's just tryna keep the convo going, but atleast let me talk abt my stuff too man
I honestly always end up falling asleep when listening to her soothing voice.. Its been a YEAR!! since i posted this comment just wanted to say thank you for the likes and for being a wonderful community❤️
After watching this I can recognize myself doing these things. That’s exactly why I told myself and people I talk to that I’m not ready for a relationship because I don’t want them to feel like that and get hurt. It’s important to recognize not only when someone is doing something to you but when you do something to someone. Honesty and communication is essential when dating.
Same...I am actually in a relationship and I often feel like crap because of some of these things. I've tried to leave a few times because I'm sure he'll be better off with someone better..
It’s so much better to deal with the very temporary sadness behind letting toxic relationships go immediately rather than letting the heartbreak build! Great video.
I sort of disagree with the the last point. Me and my boyfriend have spoken about all our exs to each other. I think it can help the other person understand why you are who you are in a relationship. Me personally I've been cheated on which makes me jealous and paranoid at times, he understands why I feel this way sometimes and reasures me rather than just calling me stupid like other past relationships have.
Yes but this is in a healthy Way !! And that's great !! But if someone start to compare their ex with their current partner or if they talk about them A LOT this is a red flag But nothing wrong with talking about ex's, but do not do.it too much ! ^^ Hope you found the one
Yeah, it's the same for me and my partner. We are comparing each other to our abusive exes and thus we can clearly see that our relationship is completely different and we are good to each other. It's sort of a compass that lets us know what we definitely don't want in our relationship. And I guess we are just healing together.
1. They always agree with you 0:55 2. They hide things from you 1:37 3. They don't prioritize you 2:06 4. They are dismissive of you 2:38 5. They easily get jealous 3:13 6. They make you second-guess their feelings 3:42 7. They talk badly about their exes 4:13 Thank you for reading!
He had #2, #3, and #6. Wasted 11 yrs. on him. #6 can be a sign of a serious personality issue and should be enough to end it right there. Wish I'd known that back then.
Do not engage too quickly is a sexual relationship. What works for some people won’t work for others. You must hold back the sexual attraction for sound reasons. Know a person’s health background. Ask questions sprinkled into ongoing conversations. A healthy sexual relationship is always good. “Take your lover to the doctor date” is a good way of knowing if he/she is really into you. “Anything worth having is worth waiting for.” “Slow and steady wins the race.” “Don’t put the cart before the horse.” “You build a house one brick at a time with a solid foundation.” “Be a good listener.” These old adages still prove to be accurate today.
Sidenote: Watch carefully if you're dating a person with ASD. Most of the mentioned behavior also applies to Aspies and they don't do it because they don't like you, but mostly because it kinda worked in the past for them or at least they felt like it. My example: 1. My partner hesitated at first to disagree, because he didn't know how I would react. Instead he went with an answer in his comfort zone. 2. Not really hiding, but just not telling, because it makes him feel vulnerable (telling his fam about me etc). 3. I'm am very important to him, but he needs his routines and time to be alone as well to charge his so called social battery. 4. My exemplary is just a human encyclopedia and doesn't compliment me too often. Took me quite some time. 5. Does not apply. 6. That's typical, because mostly it's because he just doesn't feel like I do. If I ask him if he misses me, he would answer: Well, I don't miss you, when we don't see each other. But I would miss you, if we would never see each other again. 7. Does not apply (at least in my case).
And, if you happen to have some of these characteristics yourself, you might believe they're healthy for other people - when they're actually red flags. It just happened to me. What I thought was my new love 'needing to be alone to recharge' was a combination of his apathy towards me, his selfishness and his incredible laziness...I realised in the end. It was an awful shock. I totally misjudged him and got very badly hurt.
On the other hand, opening up about past relationships is part of establishing a good relationship. My advice would be to look out for people who use very derogatory language and exhibit strong rage/hatred for an ex, when you haven't known each other for some time. I'd trust my gut on this one. Does the new partner seem to be obsessed or still hung up in the past? Or are they just expressing a healthy amount of hurt over things gone wrong (and hopefully getting right this time). One important thing I also look for is at least some praise for former partners. There must have been *something* at some point, and I think it's important we always remember that, take the positive with us.
completely agree! I honestly want to know about someone's past relationships. I find it interesting and if i want to be serious with someone, I truly wanna know whatever they wanna share. I just enjoy hearing people's life stories. The good and the bad. And along with that, we all have pasts, and if I feel comfortable enough to open up, that's my gut telling me they're a safe person to talk to.
@@taramazur8287 The kind of things a new partner will tell you about their past is also a great window into their personality. Also, be aware of what is left out. Obviously, that goes for myself as well. What do *I* tend to emphasize, leave out? I agree that it makes sense wanting to feel safe and comfortable with a partner. It's horrible when you can't talk about things that are important to you (even, yes, when they are mundane).
Agreed. I think this is especially important for people who have been through traumatic relationships in the past, as it can give you an idea of what kind of things scare them and what you can reasonably avoid doing to help them feel safe with you. People shouldn't have to walk on eggshells around their partners, but it's also important to display a healthy level of respect for things that your partner is particularly sensitive about.
@@midnachick97 I love your input. Walking on eggshells ... I've been there and it led to so many misunderstandings. To be very clear, that was my mistake. Great life lesson, though. Maybe this should be a subject in school "how to communicate openly, accept constructive criticism and establish healthy boundaries".
0:38 1 - They always agree with you 1:35 2 - They hide things from you 2:05 3 - They don't prioritize you 2:37 4 - They are dismisive of you 3:14 5 - They easily get jealous 3:41 6 - They make you second guess your feelings 4:12 7 - They talk badly about their exes
@@oozy. ooo I do think 5 and 7 go hand in hand...... I do feel like I do 7 sometimes... but usually only do 7 when asked to explain, and the explanation was cheating + being dumped on my birthday + he stealthed (lied about using condom) . I guess I redeem myself by saying the ex I had after him was super nice but it didn't work out cuz of long distance. its a odd balance of what you can say -- but I felt like some things are important to talk about.
@@sarcasmismyfirstlanguage6611 learn to be ok with being more open about who you are and areas in life you struggle with. Learn to be ok with being little vunerable. Communication is key in a relationship. Cant run from conflicts but face them together. Support and encourage each other. Put the others needs above your own. Thats the best I can say.
I'm currently dating someone and sometimes they are the sweetest most kindhearted person, but then they make me feel like I have done something wrong by ignoring me . They are most of the time with their best friend which I don't have a problem with since I'm friends with them too . The thing is I always feel left out, like they would talk and whenever I want to speak too she would interrupt me . The other day I just started a sentence and was exited to tell her Something, but then she turned around to talk to some random person .I really hate being jealous but I feel like she gives all her attention to everyone else other than me .I really don't know what I'm doing wrong . Edit(8.10.) so I talked to her and she apologized and said that she didn't even realized she sometimes ignored me . She also said that this won't repeat and that she really loves me 😍. So I just wanted to say thank you to everyone who gave me tips and helped me 😘. Edit(8.6.21) i legit forgot i ever commented this, anyway she broke up with me in january without any apparent reason. But im way happier without her so i guess it was not that bad hahahaha
well the only way to find out is to have an open and honest conversation with them you may start by “hey I’ve noticed that you sometimes ignore me when i try to talk to you. It makes me feel...(whatever emotions you feel). Is there something i did wrong?”
i always use this method with my past lovers to see how they truly feel about me. first, make sure you ask them if it's okay to discuss about your guys' relationship and if they said yes, then tell her that you feel like your relationship with them is like starting to go downfall and you want to fix it. if you see positive change in them, that means they truly/might start to think your relationship is important and they don't want to ruin it. but if she says no to discussing about your guys' relationship, then try persuading her by saying it's important and if still declines then that means you are either unimportant to them or they're just really not ready. if you think the both of you are starting to drift away maybe it's time to make the right decision by officially breaking up. just a reminder that everybody is different and i hope you guys will stay with eachother. i know it's hard but you'll get out of this mess trust me :) i wish the best !!
I had a bf and that lasted for 5 days, he was often with my cousin sis but then whenever I called him he'd say you're my only one and all were saying he was cheating me, I believed it but it was ok till I get to talk to him and one day my mom found out so we had to break up lol, now I don't give a shit to any boys, once I wanted a boyfriend now i don't want any😂
I'm guilty of doing some of #1 and #2; I'm working on learning to open up and speak my mind. For so long I've been afraid to be rejected or cast aside for expressing my thoughts and feelings, whether it be friends or romantic partners, but I want this relationship to last so I'm working on myself >:'3
"And the fact that they're already struggling to juggle so many other priorities in their life... Is a clear sign: That they're - Not - ready for a serious relationship.." This. This so much. Don't be fooled by the excuses or as if they do prioritize you when in reality they can barely squeeze in a response... (Or they don't actually want to, yet claim to be into you etc...) It's a trap... Walk away, and if you can, leave a message (Unless your gut says to not contact them and block them.. Always listen to your instincts and intuition...) so they don't suddenly go looking for their 'whatever suits them when it's convenient for them'... Person. Don't be that Person.. You will definitely be used to say the least.. (Basically don't leave the door opened, nor open it for them. Stand your ground. Because they do not actually 'care') Learn your worth, standards, compatabilities vs incompatibilities.. And boundaries. Because changing these principles is like changing the foundation of who you are...To suit what someone wants. Source: Experience... Long time ago though.
So true, and it's valid not only for romantic relationships but friendships also. I knew this person and we got along well, but very soon he started answering after 3,4,5 even six days and I knew he read the message but just replied so late on purpose. Once I asked him why he's doing that and he said he's always so busy. But then I found out later directly from him that he wasn't working for almost a year, which is the time we've known each other and as I asked him what he was doing, he said he was sleeping late, drinking coffee, enjoying life... Interesting, I thought, where at first he claimed he was so busy, but then he was just being lazy and had more than enough time to answer me, but he was actually disrespecting me. Imagine that someone for months always replies to you several days later, but always, each time, and actually every time he started the communication, he would ask me a question, I would answer in a reasonable time and he would always answer several days later. I realized I don't want that person in my life anymore. As once we were on a concert together, he held his phone in his hand all the time, looking at his messages and writing too, so he was writing to other people even when he was with me, he couldn't be still for 40 minutes. It was disrespectful of him, because that was a special concert in a glorious place, only for special guests, not everyone could come there, I had an invitation and had the right to bring 1 person with me, I took him and he was just a disappointment. He didn't even appreciate being there and let me tell you, he couldn't ever get there on his own, it was only for a small circle of people. It's obvious he was just playing with me. He was often putting me down and making mean jokes on my expense. When I would be hurt, because it was insulting, he would say:"I was just joking". What a fool he is now, because I blocked him forever. I guess the joke is now on him.
Ok I'll admit with point number 3. I prioritized most things before the relationship. I was busy starting my PhD, about to leave a very stressful job as well as looking after my father who has cancer. We did make dates here and there, and tried to do more things. We finished it just after New Years day this year. It was a mutual break up and I even said how I recognised the issue due to me being busy and said we've still got some issues to iron out in our lives. She thanked me for seeing that and that it meant alot to her. I still want to be with her eventually, and just hope we can make it up. I did say before the break up that I am wiling to change this and make things up, but in the end it we just accepted that we're not ready just yet. I'm just hoping. I have now left my job and already well ahead in my progress with my PhD, so most of my focus now is back to myself at the moment and going to the gym to work on my fitness as well as studying. We're still messaging each other, even if its just little general things or even just funny memes which we like to do.
The first one was what was wrong with one with my exes. It felt like he wasn’t really being himself most of the relationship, he was being what he thought I wanted him to be. Plus he said he loved me in the first two weeks we started dating. Long story short, it didn’t last long...
One thing to keep in mind particularly about #1 & #2 - these are common behaviors of victims in abusive relationships. As always, context is important. If one person in the relationship often does 1 & 2, and the other person often does 3-7, begin looking at your relationship and your own well-being.
Though I really think you should be aware of certain signals and that you should look out for yourself stepping into new relationships, I find it hard to see that we are collectively learning to push people away when we’re noticing red flags. Of course, some people take advantage of others or emotionally abuse their partners. That’s not okay. But we’re all human and I think the most beautiful thing about relationships is that you learn to deal with each other’s past, emotions, built up patterns and behavior. I’m not saying you should always tolerate someone’s actions no matter what, but I think sometimes we tend to cancel people out of our lives as soon as we notice strange behavior. Just a little rant, love the videos by the way xx
@@userzquid nobody is perfect, your right. Part of what makes me toxic is having unrealistic expectations both for myself and others. I am working on this. But it's so hard.
In 3:50 ”you always wanna leave them wanting more” it sounds manipulative in my mind. If your ”too needy” or something, maybe both are and its cool when there is no anything we are not telling right in beginning... Love your videos 💜
Entitlement for love/relationships is the biggest red flag I'd say. Love/Relationships are something that takes time to brew up. Yet, there are desperate people that think a single night of "flirting" = a relationship.
I have to disagree with the second one.. some ppl just dont feel emotions like "normal" ppl, to put it simply, and have a difficult time explaining when they do feel something.. but other than that it's a great vid!!
Communication is the bridge to understanding. "Hey, I have all these feelings but it's hard to explain, do you have time to listen?" I understand it's hard sometimes (or most times) to get it out, and I'm too neurotypical to fully know how truly hard it is for some. But if the other is willing to take their time to listen while you try to put your feelings into words, and clear up misunderstandings before they turn to hostility, that's half the path to a healthy relationship. If they're not willing to listen, and you already tried time and time again, pack up and look to greener pastures, they're not worth your time.
I'm currently dating and hitting most of these red flags but it's to be expected since we decide that one of us was not ready so we decided to deal with the problems b4 we start a relationship. 8 months later things are getting significantly better as we know each other more now. She is the best. We're planning for next year trips and talking about getting a relationship. Trust me it been hard AF but it definitely starting to paid off.
Wow! With the exception of #7 (maybe), all of this stuff even applies to regular relationships like best friends. I came to the realization that I need new friends recently when my current best bud swears he's interested in a project we've been working on as a hobby and (when I ask him) even schedules days for us to work on it now that we have money. But he never shows up (despite him deciding the day we do it), puts any effort into making sure it happens, or brings it up on his own in conversation. The icing on the cake is that on Discord I can literally see him playing the same game every day for hours (3-12)with his other homies so it's not like he DOESN'T have the free time. But he refuses to admit he'd rather be doing those things and keeps setting up project days he "didn't remember" to show up to. 🤔 ...we've been playing this dumb cat and mouse game for 7 months bro lol (I need new friends... He has some after all) So yeah, this can apply in many kinds of relationships 😅
And a super important footnote: these red flags can show up right away or months later (perhaps, say, after some Love Bombing)… either way, they’re so important. Thank you!!
Yes! I rejected him many times, despite my strong feelings for him, and he took the rejections hard. He ran off to date other girls and tried to show them off to me. "Look how happy I am!" I told him, "you need to heal!" and "I don't want to be a rebound!" along with, "I deserve someone who loves me." He couldn't listen to me, and he just left me on read. I know I did the right thing, but it still hurts. I still wish him well and care about him. But, I know I can find others who will treat me better.
Yea you really did the right thing .. Very childish of him ... And you did Dodge a bullet, if you would have dated him ..I think it would be a very toxic relationship Let's hope he gets more mature
I wish I watched this sooner. My ex always talks badly about his past relationship and I was so blinded to think and to see it as a way of him assuring me that I was different but then ending the same way. I'm afraid of the fact that he's talking badly about me with his new gf.
8 dating red flags you need to look out for They don't want to label the relationship after a few months of dating. You don't feature on their social media accounts after a few months. They never initiate dates. There's a power imbalance. You express your feelings to one another differently. One of you is keeping secrets. They won't compromise
About the social media thing, some people are private and don’t want to be on any social media platforms, and that’s okay 🤷♀️ Not everything has to be on social media. That includes significant others if they are not comfortable with it.
I just found this video. Thank you all for giving me this new insight on relation. The Last man I was dating had 5 of the 7 red flags you discussed here. May add one more to this - 8,) if you & your partner has a fight & he/she knows they will lose, they will block you on all social media, phone & email.
I'm here just to point out how valuable it is they write down academic references on the video's description. This is not only entertaining but educative in an academic way. Marvelous job!
Never ignore the red flags. They're shown to you for a reason. No matter how much you like/love them, or how many months/years you've spent with them, let them go. They'll never change.
It's important to note too that some people take time to open up, you don't have to tell them EVERYTHING on the first date, week or month. Go at your own pace and if they don't like it, its their loss...but don't be too mysterious either, try your best at talking about yourself even if it's difficult for you.
It feels much more better when I know what is good and what isn't. My partner is a bit too jealous sometimes but he told me why and we had deep conversation about it. I'm so happy that I found this yt channel
Another one to look out for from my last relationship, is they they don't let you make decisions or don't ask you what you're comfortable with. Make sure to always ask your partner what is and isn't ok in a relationship. This can relate to PDA or actions in private that you're not comfortable with yet too. Stand your ground on those boundaries too.
After I broke up with my ex I came to this video and realized that he has done all those things. I’m glad I ended it so soon. I talked to him about the wrongs in the relationship and we both agreed to stay friends
I don’t feel worthy of a relationship. I’m my worst critic and my expectations are too high. The INFP part of me daydreams of when I’ll meet him but I haven’t yet. Self love is key.
7 red flags in dating you should watch out for: 1. They always agree with you 2. They hide things from you 3. They don’t prioritize you 4. They are dismissive of you 5. They easily get jealous 6. They make you second-guess their feelings 7. They talk badly about their exes I think I have seen all in the person :/
Jealousy does not make a hard equation to insecurity. If you're flirting with someone else or sit in someone else's lap, your partner has every right to be jealous. Jealousy is not the problem. Not knowing the difference between proper and improper jealousy is the real issue.
About the ex thing. From a personal perspective - I still mention my ex sometimes (mostly when I need to vent to my friends, so I guess it doesn't really count ^^"), 'cause he blamed me for ruining his life and several of his suicide attempts YEARS after the breakup. He texted me so many times and almost every one of them would end in me having a panic attack. We've known each other for a bit over three months, dated for even less than that. All because he couldn't take no for an answer when I was honest to god busy with work and he wanted to talk/meet. It got so bad (a month in!) that somedays I had to turn off my phone despite having been honest and telling him upfront that I wouldn't be able to talk to him much. Plus he was really pushy about the bedroom stuff. And on top of all of that, he said 'I love you' about four to five weeks in. After breaking up I was so scared... He had/still has a collection of knives, was diagnosed with sociopathy, and knows where I live.
Wow..... No YOU arent the red flag ... I hope he never forced you for the bedroom stuff .. Damn ..People like that does exist.. Hope you're well and better
@@bamaboo8398 He tried to, but I stood my ground. After I told him no, he threw a temper tantrum and refused to lay on the bed with me. He decided to go lay on the floor instead (as a form of protest, I guess?). Safe to say I broke it off REAL fast after that
The only thing relatable is keeping some things hidden. It's not that I do it on purpose, it's just my priorities don't include myself when others are involved. Making them feel happy makes me happy.
Not me being 7 years into a relationship, watching this and realizing he's shown every single red flag listed here, and I've even developed some of them myself now as the relationship goes on. Amongst other things, this is probably a sign.
If you realise you're the red flag, then it's time to change :) And the fact that you recognise yourself is the first step to build a healthier relationship ! I too recognise myself in one of my past relationship.and I dont want to make the same mistakes ever again
I've some of those red flags, I don't open to talk about my feelings, I hide my relationship to others and I tell him things about my last relationships... I must correct that behaviour.
i got out of a 4 year relationship and it’s been killing me but wow i’m a little glad to see that he had mostly all of these red flags.. :/ makes me feel at least a little better
Your voice is so soothing and nice, I’m not sure what it is, but I love it. I think I could binge your videos for your voice alone. You should look into making ASMR. I think you could really do it great!
wait, i talk with her about my 'exes' (actually almost just past crushes) because she finds it interesting and knows it's just a part of my past besides one of my past crushes is the reason why i talk with my her nowadays so i guess she couldn't really be jealous about it anytime but yeah, i'm often nostalgic but not to a point i'm "stucked on the past" or anything, mostly just telling stories i had with other girls because the new one often finds it cute for some reason
I used to try to get my boyfriend to talk about his exes. I wanted to know where they had fucked up and how I could do better than them. By doing so, I was competing with them on a subconscious level. Being the anxious attachment style I was, I smothered him with love and affection, and he got scared away Long story short, he broke up with me.
My boyfriend had problems with the fourth point. Nearly everything I did and was proud of or happy about - he always told me it´s no big deal, I had to chill or didn´t even gave a comment to it sometimes. It hurt very bad. So I talked to him after these situations and eventually it got better. Now, we hype each other up and for both of us, it´s the healthiest relationship we ever had with another person. I love him so much and I´m glad that none of these points fit anymore.
I've been on many dates and have had many relationships with guys that have exhibited every single red flag on this list. I wish this video was recommended to me a long time ago but it's nice to know that at least it's here and I get to understand it now
Please keep making videos like these. I'm in my 30s (for a little while, anyway) and I notice myself being contemptuous of younger people who've grown up thinking self-important behavior is interchangeable with character or confidence. They are not interchangeable... Nor do they entirely create themselves. I think we're conditioned as children to expect praise for our accomplishments, but it becomes more nuanced and complex as we grow older. If we don't appreciate those nuances and complexities, every relatively positive thing becomes homogenized into some obligation of conformity, and the individual soul withers and ultimately dies. You have a certain birthday and life just seems like so much routine and deadlines and social expectations realized. Clarence Darrow was right.
*too sad course I just broke up with my 3 years of Dating boyfriend coz I just realized am a very jealous person and I really like controlling him and the worst thing he just agrees with everything I do or say* *He never spent time with me and always ignoring my messages* but I still love him so I don't really know what to do?!
oh god... I think you should just learn from your mistakes and look forward to other people... I know it's hard stopping loving someone, but at least try it out - I believe in you! :)
If you are aware that you were controlling in your last relationship, than you should work on that before starting a relationship. Changing it will take time, but you can change. He may not still want to be involved with you romantically, and you can't change that I'm afraid. But acknowledging that you were controlling is a great start to changing it.
oh... apparently im the last one ("o_o), but i dont talk bad about them on purpose, my exes are just huge assholes ("*-*). So if someone ask me about my exes, well yeah i talk bad about them because they all did something bad to me (1 more than the other). But still, luckily, there were also some fun moments, unfortantly not that many. Stupid thing is that the first and last ex mentally broke me (both on a different area) so thats just hard to let someone understand you (l_l)
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"the heart gets confused when it's constantly told 'i love you' by the same person who destroys it.."
-r.h sin
Ikr
Thank you for this quote
Literally just finally broke out of that confusion yesterday.
Wow. this hits me the most. 😫
Know your worth and have boundaries, everything else is insanity
In my experience, I think the most important thing is: Trust your gut.
When something feels off - it probably is
When you feel hurt because of what your partner did - it means he/she hurt you and it's wrong if they don't accept it because "you're so sensitive", "I didn't mean to"
No. Your gut always tells you if something is wrong and you can keep telling yourself it's not but that feeling won't go away.
I'm just saying it because I used to ignore my gut and had to endure a lot of pain because of that - just watch out, be careful out there and never forget, your feelings matter!!
dang.. did you broke up?
Hello.
However, our "guts" work differently. They do so because we have different genetic predispositions, but also because we had different lives. our first relationships and experiences with people in the world, -and they differ from one individual to another-, determine somehow the way we behave in our current relationships. Our brains are like high computers, they gather information through every experience, and organize our behaviours according to them (we aren't aware of this organization). Our first relationships (especially with parents and primary caregivers) are so important because they kind of give our brains a first impression about how things work in the world. however, these experiences aren't representative to do so. They have a survival value, but it's too primitive and it can be tricky in our complex society. So here comes the problem: Some of us may -according to those experiences- take hardly some insignificant behaviours just because they're related to something bad that took place in the past, or because we've been getting a different pattern of caring behaviours when we were children that we see any different kind of attachment uncomfortable. This should teach us to be aware of our behavioural patterns, and try to control and fix what we find wrong among them, and build healthier ones. This isn't ought to be for the sake of the partner, as it is ought to be for our sakes. It makes our relationships easier, more successful, and healthier.
To get an insight into the relationship between our behaviour in relationships and our past, i suggest reading the literatures about attachment styles theory. And you can see some videos about them in this channel first, and in "the school of life" channel, which is similar to this one, even though their topics aren't fully about psychology.
Have a good life.
@@anis9503 that’s good how to described for relationships, if there’s something wrong that you didn’t realise or something you just have to force yourself for other reason instead just ordinary type.
He always tells me that I'm taking it too seriously, it hurts ahah
Thank you, I can relate to that honestly, I kept my feelings inside of me for so long that I snapped.
I swear this is the best community in all TH-cam. Everyone here is supportive and care to help
Hey no swearing here
No swears!
somebody finna ruin it, just wait
@@TRAYVONN_ They already did, the first couple replies
I agree
8. When they talk about themselves a lot and don’t ask you questions about yourself
P.S. I know people get nervous and ramble (this happens to me sometimes) but I’m speaking of those who are just too self-centered to notice who is sitting across from them
Yas!
YES!
I'm scared I do this with my friends sometimes. I try really hard not to though and I'm aware of it
@@RowanArk yeah me too, I don't know if I am paranoid or if I really just talk too much about myself
not in a relationship but my friend always talks abt herself. it's getting boring to talk to her nowadays. ik she's just tryna keep the convo going, but atleast let me talk abt my stuff too man
I honestly always end up falling asleep when listening to her soothing voice..
Its been a YEAR!! since i posted this comment just wanted to say thank you for the likes and for being a wonderful community❤️
Thats what i was thinking man
@kristy's laziness I don't know
omg. L, you married Light?!
L your real name is Lawlite
Agreed.
After watching this I can recognize myself doing these things. That’s exactly why I told myself and people I talk to that I’m not ready for a relationship because I don’t want them to feel like that and get hurt. It’s important to recognize not only when someone is doing something to you but when you do something to someone. Honesty and communication is essential when dating.
Same...I am actually in a relationship and I often feel like crap because of some of these things. I've tried to leave a few times because I'm sure he'll be better off with someone better..
It’s so much better to deal with the very temporary sadness behind letting toxic relationships go immediately rather than letting the heartbreak build! Great video.
@kristy's laziness thanks for fighting lol
Learned this the hard way
Kabir Batra But you learned, which is the great thing 😊 glad you’re out of that situation now.
Thank you! We hope this video has helped you in some way! Do you relate to any of these red flags?
@kristy's laziness 🔼🔤🔄⏪🔠
I sort of disagree with the the last point. Me and my boyfriend have spoken about all our exs to each other. I think it can help the other person understand why you are who you are in a relationship. Me personally I've been cheated on which makes me jealous and paranoid at times, he understands why I feel this way sometimes and reasures me rather than just calling me stupid like other past relationships have.
Yes but this is in a healthy Way !! And that's great !!
But if someone start to compare their ex with their current partner or if they talk about them A LOT this is a red flag
But nothing wrong with talking about ex's, but do not do.it too much ! ^^
Hope you found the one
He sounds like a great partner
Yeah, it's the same for me and my partner. We are comparing each other to our abusive exes and thus we can clearly see that our relationship is completely different and we are good to each other. It's sort of a compass that lets us know what we definitely don't want in our relationship. And I guess we are just healing together.
1. They always agree with you 0:55
2. They hide things from you 1:37
3. They don't prioritize you 2:06
4. They are dismissive of you 2:38
5. They easily get jealous 3:13
6. They make you second-guess their feelings 3:42
7. They talk badly about their exes 4:13
Thank you for reading!
Probably a mini movie marathon
((Reported the “love bot”...nvmd (but I did)
Probably nothing. Lol
He had #2, #3, and #6. Wasted 11 yrs. on him. #6 can be a sign of a serious personality issue and should be enough to end it right there. Wish I'd known that back then.
Ghost hunting? XD Ah why not? I myself will be likely working on music.
Do not engage too quickly is a sexual relationship. What works for some people won’t work for others. You must hold back the sexual attraction for sound reasons.
Know a person’s health background. Ask questions sprinkled into ongoing conversations. A healthy sexual relationship is always good. “Take your lover to the doctor date” is a good way of knowing if he/she is really into you.
“Anything worth having is worth waiting for.” “Slow and steady wins the race.” “Don’t put the cart before the horse.” “You build a house one brick at a time with a solid foundation.” “Be a good listener.” These old adages still prove to be accurate today.
I would like to add: Talk about sex, what you like and dislike, before having it. It really helps to avoid the frustration and disappointment.
omg the nails in the thumbnail are EVERYTHING
Not me going back to the thumbnail💀💀
Yassss I like the sharp long nails just amazing!
LMAOO
Ye
Did you like it? :)
Sidenote: Watch carefully if you're dating a person with ASD.
Most of the mentioned behavior also applies to Aspies and they don't do it because they don't like you, but mostly because it kinda worked in the past for them or at least they felt like it.
My example:
1. My partner hesitated at first to disagree, because he didn't know how I would react. Instead he went with an answer in his comfort zone.
2. Not really hiding, but just not telling, because it makes him feel vulnerable (telling his fam about me etc).
3. I'm am very important to him, but he needs his routines and time to be alone as well to charge his so called social battery.
4. My exemplary is just a human encyclopedia and doesn't compliment me too often. Took me quite some time.
5. Does not apply.
6. That's typical, because mostly it's because he just doesn't feel like I do. If I ask him if he misses me, he would answer: Well, I don't miss you, when we don't see each other. But I would miss you, if we would never see each other again.
7. Does not apply (at least in my case).
Thank you. I am autistic and I was worrying I was bad at relationships. My partner is too, so, it does get very difficult at times with emotions.
Yo, hope you and your partner are doing well now!
You've got to be careful with that though too. My abusive ex-husband had Asperger's and it caused me to overlook many red flags.
And, if you happen to have some of these characteristics yourself, you might believe they're healthy for other people - when they're actually red flags. It just happened to me. What I thought was my new love 'needing to be alone to recharge' was a combination of his apathy towards me, his selfishness and his incredible laziness...I realised in the end. It was an awful shock. I totally misjudged him and got very badly hurt.
Your mind is a powerful thing. When you fill it with positive thoughts, your life will start to change.
On the other hand, opening up about past relationships is part of establishing a good relationship.
My advice would be to look out for people who use very derogatory language and exhibit strong rage/hatred for an ex, when you haven't known each other for some time.
I'd trust my gut on this one. Does the new partner seem to be obsessed or still hung up in the past? Or are they just expressing a healthy amount of hurt over things gone wrong (and hopefully getting right this time).
One important thing I also look for is at least some praise for former partners. There must have been *something* at some point, and I think it's important we always remember that, take the positive with us.
completely agree! I honestly want to know about someone's past relationships. I find it interesting and if i want to be serious with someone, I truly wanna know whatever they wanna share. I just enjoy hearing people's life stories. The good and the bad. And along with that, we all have pasts, and if I feel comfortable enough to open up, that's my gut telling me they're a safe person to talk to.
@@taramazur8287 The kind of things a new partner will tell you about their past is also a great window into their personality.
Also, be aware of what is left out.
Obviously, that goes for myself as well. What do *I* tend to emphasize, leave out?
I agree that it makes sense wanting to feel safe and comfortable with a partner.
It's horrible when you can't talk about things that are important to you (even, yes, when they are mundane).
Everyone talks about my partner's ex, so it doesn't really count. The reason is that she went batshit and threatened to shoot up the school.
Agreed. I think this is especially important for people who have been through traumatic relationships in the past, as it can give you an idea of what kind of things scare them and what you can reasonably avoid doing to help them feel safe with you. People shouldn't have to walk on eggshells around their partners, but it's also important to display a healthy level of respect for things that your partner is particularly sensitive about.
@@midnachick97 I love your input.
Walking on eggshells ... I've been there and it led to so many misunderstandings.
To be very clear, that was my mistake. Great life lesson, though.
Maybe this should be a subject in school "how to communicate openly, accept constructive criticism and establish healthy boundaries".
Video: *_exists_*
Singles: *So you've summoned us?*
🤣😳😬 too relatable
XD
Some Yello me Dude *Has Come*
Lol so relatable
Yep
0:38 1 - They always agree with you
1:35 2 - They hide things from you
2:05 3 - They don't prioritize you
2:37 4 - They are dismisive of you
3:14 5 - They easily get jealous
3:41 6 - They make you second guess your feelings
4:12 7 - They talk badly about their exes
I’m dealing with a 2 3 and 6
@@allahuakbar6994 same
@@allahuakbar6994 I'm dealing with 5 and 7
@@oozy. ooo I do think 5 and 7 go hand in hand...... I do feel like I do 7 sometimes... but usually only do 7 when asked to explain, and the explanation was cheating + being dumped on my birthday + he stealthed (lied about using condom) . I guess I redeem myself by saying the ex I had after him was super nice but it didn't work out cuz of long distance. its a odd balance of what you can say -- but I felt like some things are important to talk about.
I almost always agree with my gf but I don't do it to make her love me more, we just genuinely think the same way
Don't date an emotionally unavailable person! Waste of time! Run for the hills!!
Unless both are emotionally unavailable lol
We hope this video has helped you in some way! Do you relate to any of these red flags?
What if i’m the emotionally unavailable one?
@@sarcasmismyfirstlanguage6611 learn to be ok with being more open about who you are and areas in life you struggle with. Learn to be ok with being little vunerable. Communication is key in a relationship. Cant run from conflicts but face them together. Support and encourage each other. Put the others needs above your own. Thats the best I can say.
I feel lesbian vibes here..
"They don't priorities you" that hurt like a truck.
But you are absolutely right.
Everything about this channel gives me serotonin
Lemøndrøp Parade its extra nice when you’re snuggling a red panda plush or something
@The_Spooky_Bunny awww
The_Spooky_Bunny that’s so cute ㅠㅠ
We hope this video has helped you in some way! Do you relate to any of these red flags?
This is a positive sign.
You are amazing. You are whole. You are worthy. You are loved. You deserve the love you've always dreamed of. 💗Dr. Liz
I'm currently dating someone and sometimes they are the sweetest most kindhearted person, but then they make me feel like I have done something wrong by ignoring me . They are most of the time with their best friend which I don't have a problem with since I'm friends with them too . The thing is I always feel left out, like they would talk and whenever I want to speak too she would interrupt me . The other day I just started a sentence and was exited to tell her Something, but then she turned around to talk to some random person .I really hate being jealous but I feel like she gives all her attention to everyone else other than me .I really don't know what I'm doing wrong .
Edit(8.10.) so I talked to her and she apologized and said that she didn't even realized she sometimes ignored me . She also said that this won't repeat and that she really loves me 😍.
So I just wanted to say thank you to everyone who gave me tips and helped me 😘.
Edit(8.6.21) i legit forgot i ever commented this, anyway she broke up with me in january without any apparent reason. But im way happier without her so i guess it was not that bad hahahaha
well the only way to find out is to have an open and honest conversation with them
you may start by “hey I’ve noticed that you sometimes ignore me when i try to talk to you. It makes me feel...(whatever emotions you feel). Is there something i did wrong?”
i always use this method with my past lovers to see how they truly feel about me. first, make sure you ask them if it's okay to discuss about your guys' relationship and if they said yes, then tell her that you feel like your relationship with them is like starting to go downfall and you want to fix it. if you see positive change in them, that means they truly/might start to think your relationship is important and they don't want to ruin it. but if she says no to discussing about your guys' relationship, then try persuading her by saying it's important and if still declines then that means you are either unimportant to them or they're just really not ready. if you think the both of you are starting to drift away maybe it's time to make the right decision by officially breaking up. just a reminder that everybody is different and i hope you guys will stay with eachother. i know it's hard but you'll get out of this mess trust me :) i wish the best !!
I had a bf and that lasted for 5 days, he was often with my cousin sis but then whenever I called him he'd say you're my only one and all were saying he was cheating me, I believed it but it was ok till I get to talk to him and one day my mom found out so we had to break up lol, now I don't give a shit to any boys, once I wanted a boyfriend now i don't want any😂
thank y'all so much 💖
@@adrianoopi I'm gonna try this thank you so much
I'm guilty of doing some of #1 and #2; I'm working on learning to open up and speak my mind. For so long I've been afraid to be rejected or cast aside for expressing my thoughts and feelings, whether it be friends or romantic partners, but I want this relationship to last so I'm working on myself >:'3
"And the fact that they're already struggling to juggle so many other priorities in their life...
Is a clear sign: That they're - Not - ready for a serious relationship.."
This. This so much. Don't be fooled by the excuses or as if they do prioritize you when in reality they can barely squeeze in a response... (Or they don't actually want to, yet claim to be into you etc...)
It's a trap...
Walk away, and if you can, leave a message (Unless your gut says to not contact them and block them.. Always listen to your instincts and intuition...) so they don't suddenly go looking for their 'whatever suits them when it's convenient for them'... Person. Don't be that Person.. You will definitely be used to say the least..
(Basically don't leave the door opened, nor open it for them. Stand your ground. Because they do not actually 'care')
Learn your worth, standards, compatabilities vs incompatibilities.. And boundaries. Because changing these principles is like changing the foundation of who you are...To suit what someone wants.
Source: Experience...
Long time ago though.
So true, and it's valid not only for romantic relationships but friendships also. I knew this person and we got along well, but very soon he started answering after 3,4,5 even six days and I knew he read the message but just replied so late on purpose. Once I asked him why he's doing that and he said he's always so busy. But then I found out later directly from him that he wasn't working for almost a year, which is the time we've known each other and as I asked him what he was doing, he said he was sleeping late, drinking coffee, enjoying life... Interesting, I thought, where at first he claimed he was so busy, but then he was just being lazy and had more than enough time to answer me, but he was actually disrespecting me. Imagine that someone for months always replies to you several days later, but always, each time, and actually every time he started the communication, he would ask me a question, I would answer in a reasonable time and he would always answer several days later. I realized I don't want that person in my life anymore. As once we were on a concert together, he held his phone in his hand all the time, looking at his messages and writing too, so he was writing to other people even when he was with me, he couldn't be still for 40 minutes. It was disrespectful of him, because that was a special concert in a glorious place, only for special guests, not everyone could come there, I had an invitation and had the right to bring 1 person with me, I took him and he was just a disappointment. He didn't even appreciate being there and let me tell you, he couldn't ever get there on his own, it was only for a small circle of people. It's obvious he was just playing with me. He was often putting me down and making mean jokes on my expense. When I would be hurt, because it was insulting, he would say:"I was just joking". What a fool he is now, because I blocked him forever. I guess the joke is now on him.
I needed that 💯🙏🏾❤️thank you so much
I stg 💯‼️🎯 experience is one hella of a teacher
great wise words
I’m currently in this situation idk what to do tho
Ok I'll admit with point number 3. I prioritized most things before the relationship. I was busy starting my PhD, about to leave a very stressful job as well as looking after my father who has cancer. We did make dates here and there, and tried to do more things.
We finished it just after New Years day this year. It was a mutual break up and I even said how I recognised the issue due to me being busy and said we've still got some issues to iron out in our lives. She thanked me for seeing that and that it meant alot to her.
I still want to be with her eventually, and just hope we can make it up. I did say before the break up that I am wiling to change this and make things up, but in the end it we just accepted that we're not ready just yet. I'm just hoping.
I have now left my job and already well ahead in my progress with my PhD, so most of my focus now is back to myself at the moment and going to the gym to work on my fitness as well as studying.
We're still messaging each other, even if its just little general things or even just funny memes which we like to do.
Did you two end up trying again?
Have things changed for the better?
The first one was what was wrong with one with my exes. It felt like he wasn’t really being himself most of the relationship, he was being what he thought I wanted him to be. Plus he said he loved me in the first two weeks we started dating. Long story short, it didn’t last long...
One thing to keep in mind particularly about #1 & #2 - these are common behaviors of victims in abusive relationships. As always, context is important.
If one person in the relationship often does 1 & 2, and the other person often does 3-7, begin looking at your relationship and your own well-being.
Though I really think you should be aware of certain signals and that you should look out for yourself stepping into new relationships, I find it hard to see that we are collectively learning to push people away when we’re noticing red flags. Of course, some people take advantage of others or emotionally abuse their partners. That’s not okay. But we’re all human and I think the most beautiful thing about relationships is that you learn to deal with each other’s past, emotions, built up patterns and behavior. I’m not saying you should always tolerate someone’s actions no matter what, but I think sometimes we tend to cancel people out of our lives as soon as we notice strange behavior. Just a little rant, love the videos by the way xx
One fine day you're old enough to understand - heart never rule anything. They simply pump blood.
Came here to find out that i'm the toxic person for a relationship 🧐
Your not toxic, you may just be misunderstood ☺
@@harry.h4304 thats an unhealthy way to look at it.
Same
we all have toxic traits, nobody is perfect. it's a good step at noticing and holding yourself accountable in areas that you can improve :)
@@userzquid nobody is perfect, your right. Part of what makes me toxic is having unrealistic expectations both for myself and others. I am working on this. But it's so hard.
Can I just say that I genuinely love the voice of the person who speaks in these videos? It's very soothing, clear and it has a nice ring to it 😌
In 3:50 ”you always wanna leave them wanting more” it sounds manipulative in my mind.
If your ”too needy” or something, maybe both are and its cool when there is no anything we are not telling right in beginning...
Love your videos 💜
I'm so happy I can say no to 99% of this stuff. It's so nice to be in a healthy relationship. ^_^
That's good to know
The art style is so cute! I love it!
ayyyyy fellow bnha fan
Omg your profile pic 😊
I love your profile pic ;w;
Ah I see, you are a person of culture as well. 😌
Also 6 days ago o.o?
Entitlement for love/relationships is the biggest red flag I'd say.
Love/Relationships are something that takes time to brew up. Yet, there are desperate people that think a single night of "flirting" = a relationship.
I have to disagree with the second one.. some ppl just dont feel emotions like "normal" ppl, to put it simply, and have a difficult time explaining when they do feel something.. but other than that it's a great vid!!
Communication is the bridge to understanding. "Hey, I have all these feelings but it's hard to explain, do you have time to listen?" I understand it's hard sometimes (or most times) to get it out, and I'm too neurotypical to fully know how truly hard it is for some. But if the other is willing to take their time to listen while you try to put your feelings into words, and clear up misunderstandings before they turn to hostility, that's half the path to a healthy relationship. If they're not willing to listen, and you already tried time and time again, pack up and look to greener pastures, they're not worth your time.
Finally someone said it
@@karendesmarto3378 Good to know I'm not the only one
@@biblicallyaccuratecockroach Thanks!! This was really helpful to me! I hope you have a blessed day 😌
I'm currently dating and hitting most of these red flags but it's to be expected since we decide that one of us was not ready so we decided to deal with the problems b4 we start a relationship. 8 months later things are getting significantly better as we know each other more now. She is the best. We're planning for next year trips and talking about getting a relationship. Trust me it been hard AF but it definitely starting to paid off.
Wow! With the exception of #7 (maybe), all of this stuff even applies to regular relationships like best friends.
I came to the realization that I need new friends recently when my current best bud swears he's interested in a project we've been working on as a hobby and (when I ask him) even schedules days for us to work on it now that we have money. But he never shows up (despite him deciding the day we do it), puts any effort into making sure it happens, or brings it up on his own in conversation. The icing on the cake is that on Discord I can literally see him playing the same game every day for hours (3-12)with his other homies so it's not like he DOESN'T have the free time. But he refuses to admit he'd rather be doing those things and keeps setting up project days he "didn't remember" to show up to. 🤔
...we've been playing this dumb cat and mouse game for 7 months bro lol (I need new friends... He has some after all)
So yeah, this can apply in many kinds of relationships 😅
Oh my god SAME
Ask him what's going on. If nothing changes, exclude him from the project. If the situation stays like that it will be the "doom" of the project.
And a super important footnote: these red flags can show up right away or months later (perhaps, say, after some Love Bombing)… either way, they’re so important. Thank you!!
TONIGHT on “Questions you never thought to ask yourself.”
Yes! I rejected him many times, despite my strong feelings for him, and he took the rejections hard. He ran off to date other girls and tried to show them off to me. "Look how happy I am!"
I told him, "you need to heal!" and "I don't want to be a rebound!" along with, "I deserve someone who loves me."
He couldn't listen to me, and he just left me on read. I know I did the right thing, but it still hurts. I still wish him well and care about him.
But, I know I can find others who will treat me better.
Yea you really did the right thing ..
Very childish of him ...
And you did Dodge a bullet, if you would have dated him ..I think it would be a very toxic relationship
Let's hope he gets more mature
This channel came up on my recommend a few months ago, now I am obsessed with this channel, it taught so much about myself and Psychology
I wish I watched this sooner. My ex always talks badly about his past relationship and I was so blinded to think and to see it as a way of him assuring me that I was different but then ending the same way. I'm afraid of the fact that he's talking badly about me with his new gf.
8 dating red flags you need to look out for
They don't want to label the relationship after a few months of dating.
You don't feature on their social media accounts after a few months.
They never initiate dates.
There's a power imbalance.
You express your feelings to one another differently.
One of you is keeping secrets.
They won't compromise
The secret one is hard to see because... It's obvious... It's secret xD
These are very true red flags!
Everyone expresses there feelings differently though. It’s learning to accept that everyone is different and we don’t have to love the same way
About the social media thing, some people are private and don’t want to be on any social media platforms, and that’s okay 🤷♀️ Not everything has to be on social media. That includes significant others if they are not comfortable with it.
If y’all express your feelings differently, you’re going to have to compromise. So those two advices kinda contradict each other.
I just found this video. Thank you all for giving me this new insight on relation. The Last man I was dating had 5 of the 7 red flags you discussed here. May add one more to this - 8,) if you & your partner has a fight & he/she knows they will lose, they will block you on all social media, phone & email.
Seeing red flags doesn't mean you have to leave,red flags are opportunities to help build some who's willing to change
I'm here just to point out how valuable it is they write down academic references on the video's description. This is not only entertaining but educative in an academic way. Marvelous job!
I get jealous people have partners but sometimes I see that I'll have more time develop myself better if I don't have one yet.
5/7 red flags.
I am laughing so hard right now but I kinda feel so sad at the same time. This video opened my eyes. Thank you.
Never ignore the red flags. They're shown to you for a reason. No matter how much you like/love them, or how many months/years you've spent with them, let them go. They'll never change.
Already did I wanted him break up with me .
It's important to note too that some people take time to open up, you don't have to tell them EVERYTHING on the first date, week or month. Go at your own pace and if they don't like it, its their loss...but don't be too mysterious either, try your best at talking about yourself even if it's difficult for you.
I feel like I am the person in this video.
How many of these signs described you?
YALL ITS BEEN 7 MONTHS OF DATING, IM PROUD BECAUSE I CANT UNDERSTAND THE HUMAN CONCEPT OF EMOTION BUT YET HERE I AMMMM 😩😩😩❤️❤️
I’m so busy every day but I will always find time to spend with my boyfriend because I really love him
If only she had the same way of thinking as you do.
It feels much more better when I know what is good and what isn't. My partner is a bit too jealous sometimes but he told me why and we had deep conversation about it. I'm so happy that I found this yt channel
Bottom line guys. Do what makes you happy. If you’re partner is making you unhappy, then they’ve got to go. Ultimately it’s abt what you want
This video hurt me so bad. It reminded me of the last relationship I was in.
He was all of these things.
Red Flag 1: Not sharing your items with your partner in Minecraft
*don't share ur diamond*
NONE SHALL TOUCH MY DIRT CHEST! THE EMPORER WILLS IT!
LOL
Red flag 2: killing them as imposter.
Dont take my hard earned diamonds sucker!
this makes so much sense. i don't don't don't ever want someone like this or be like this.
Another one to look out for from my last relationship, is they they don't let you make decisions or don't ask you what you're comfortable with. Make sure to always ask your partner what is and isn't ok in a relationship. This can relate to PDA or actions in private that you're not comfortable with yet too. Stand your ground on those boundaries too.
Ask them for every single thing? That's exhausting and sounds like you're no longer in control of your life; they are.
After I broke up with my ex I came to this video and realized that he has done all those things. I’m glad I ended it so soon. I talked to him about the wrongs in the relationship and we both agreed to stay friends
I love how the art varies from time to time it makes the videos even more interesting than they already are
true
I might be the toxic one then but I’m just insecure and scared and keep thinking there’s always someone better and it hurts
And i hide my feelings to avoid any arguments or any sadness idk I feel like such a shitty girlfriend the longer we date
A good partner is quite like a best friend, but romantic.
I really like the thumbnail 😂
Same
Same
What do you like about it the most? :)
I don’t feel worthy of a relationship. I’m my worst critic and my expectations are too high. The INFP part of me daydreams of when I’ll meet him but I haven’t yet. Self love is key.
7 red flags in dating you should watch out for:
1. They always agree with you
2. They hide things from you
3. They don’t prioritize you
4. They are dismissive of you
5. They easily get jealous
6. They make you second-guess their feelings
7. They talk badly about their exes
I think I have seen all in the person :/
Shit-
That's sad..
Jealousy does not make a hard equation to insecurity. If you're flirting with someone else or sit in someone else's lap, your partner has every right to be jealous. Jealousy is not the problem. Not knowing the difference between proper and improper jealousy is the real issue.
About the ex thing. From a personal perspective - I still mention my ex sometimes (mostly when I need to vent to my friends, so I guess it doesn't really count ^^"), 'cause he blamed me for ruining his life and several of his suicide attempts YEARS after the breakup. He texted me so many times and almost every one of them would end in me having a panic attack. We've known each other for a bit over three months, dated for even less than that. All because he couldn't take no for an answer when I was honest to god busy with work and he wanted to talk/meet. It got so bad (a month in!) that somedays I had to turn off my phone despite having been honest and telling him upfront that I wouldn't be able to talk to him much. Plus he was really pushy about the bedroom stuff. And on top of all of that, he said 'I love you' about four to five weeks in. After breaking up I was so scared... He had/still has a collection of knives, was diagnosed with sociopathy, and knows where I live.
Wow.....
No YOU arent the red flag ...
I hope he never forced you for the bedroom stuff ..
Damn ..People like that does exist..
Hope you're well and better
@@bamaboo8398 He tried to, but I stood my ground. After I told him no, he threw a temper tantrum and refused to lay on the bed with me. He decided to go lay on the floor instead (as a form of protest, I guess?). Safe to say I broke it off REAL fast after that
The only thing relatable is keeping some things hidden. It's not that I do it on purpose, it's just my priorities don't include myself when others are involved. Making them feel happy makes me happy.
Any singles here watching this video for no reason? 🙋🏻♀️
You
Get a life.
@@Jason-Joestar for real
🙋♀️
No wonder he left u
One seems to fit my current situation where it feels like he has no time for me, but he's often told me of how his anxiety is what's holding him back.
"do you relate to anything on this list?"
me who does number one and two
"no..."
Not me being 7 years into a relationship, watching this and realizing he's shown every single red flag listed here, and I've even developed some of them myself now as the relationship goes on. Amongst other things, this is probably a sign.
that awkward moment when you're the red flag😭
If you realise you're the red flag, then it's time to change :)
And the fact that you recognise yourself is the first step to build a healthier relationship !
I too recognise myself in one of my past relationship.and I dont want to make the same mistakes ever again
I've some of those red flags, I don't open to talk about my feelings, I hide my relationship to others and I tell him things about my last relationships... I must correct that behaviour.
1:14
Okay, that's just adorable
I’m not even old enough to date, yet I’m still watching this.
Its better to educate yourself befor you go in to a relationship later on. So i think you are doing a really good job with watching these
Just one thing. Let no one take your happiness and goodness away ❤
Perfect timing when I have a crush
I don't want a crush
Perfect timing when I have a crush
I don't want a crush ❣🖤🌹🖤💘😘💓
i got out of a 4 year relationship and it’s been killing me but wow i’m a little glad to see that he had mostly all of these red flags.. :/ makes me feel at least a little better
I wish I knew this when I actually was in such a situation-
I have never gone on a date and I'm still watching this lol
ohmygod damn my ex was all of them
im-
It’s good they’re an ex
Your voice is so soothing and nice, I’m not sure what it is, but I love it. I think I could binge your videos for your voice alone. You should look into making ASMR. I think you could really do it great!
wait, i talk with her about my 'exes' (actually almost just past crushes) because she finds it interesting and knows it's just a part of my past
besides one of my past crushes is the reason why i talk with my her nowadays so i guess she couldn't really be jealous about it anytime
but yeah, i'm often nostalgic but not to a point i'm "stucked on the past" or anything, mostly just telling stories i had with other girls because the new one often finds it cute for some reason
I used to try to get my boyfriend to talk about his exes. I wanted to know where they had fucked up and how I could do better than them.
By doing so, I was competing with them on a subconscious level. Being the anxious attachment style I was, I smothered him with love and affection, and he got scared away
Long story short, he broke up with me.
My boyfriend had problems with the fourth point. Nearly everything I did and was proud of or happy about - he always told me it´s no big deal, I had to chill or didn´t even gave a comment to it sometimes. It hurt very bad. So I talked to him after these situations and eventually it got better. Now, we hype each other up and for both of us, it´s the healthiest relationship we ever had with another person. I love him so much and I´m glad that none of these points fit anymore.
Yikes, this video literally lists everything involved in my current relationship...
I've been on many dates and have had many relationships with guys that have exhibited every single red flag on this list. I wish this video was recommended to me a long time ago but it's nice to know that at least it's here and I get to understand it now
honestly my “friend” is exactly like all the things you have mentioned, (except for the last one), could it also go with friendship too?🤔
Yes! It does apply to friendships too
Please keep making videos like these. I'm in my 30s (for a little while, anyway) and I notice myself being contemptuous of younger people who've grown up thinking self-important behavior is interchangeable with character or confidence. They are not interchangeable... Nor do they entirely create themselves. I think we're conditioned as children to expect praise for our accomplishments, but it becomes more nuanced and complex as we grow older. If we don't appreciate those nuances and complexities, every relatively positive thing becomes homogenized into some obligation of conformity, and the individual soul withers and ultimately dies. You have a certain birthday and life just seems like so much routine and deadlines and social expectations realized.
Clarence Darrow was right.
Hi psyc2go, please make a video about introverted HSP.
Thanks for the suggestion! We will let the team know :)
@@Psych2go YAY
I was dating someone like this, but I am also someone like that sometimes. For both of us, it was a horrible nightmare.
Everyone else be saying “early”, I’m over here to tell you guys to have a great day :)
Thank you! I hope you have a wonderful day, too :)
Thank you Applejucce you also have a great day! :3
@UC6YxoZIdZqwNbu9ryLjUP6A did you really just copy & paste their comment?
thank you, i hope you have a great day too
People who say they are early : Understandable have a great day
Thank you for these videos, I may not agree with everything, but I have found most of the ones I’ve watched so far to be very useful !!!
Why are there three comments from a week ago? O_O
Maybe channelsupporter get to see it earlier it was just private
@kristy's laziness no shit sherlock
I relate to the second flag more than I would like. One of the hardest things for me is being vulnerable sometimes
*too sad course I just broke up with my 3 years of Dating boyfriend coz I just realized am a very jealous person and I really like controlling him and the worst thing he just agrees with everything I do or say*
*He never spent time with me and always ignoring my messages* but I still love him so I don't really know what to do?!
oh god... I think you should just learn from your mistakes and look forward to other people... I know it's hard stopping loving someone, but at least try it out - I believe in you! :)
If you are aware that you were controlling in your last relationship, than you should work on that before starting a relationship. Changing it will take time, but you can change. He may not still want to be involved with you romantically, and you can't change that I'm afraid. But acknowledging that you were controlling is a great start to changing it.
@@rivertheenbybitch117 Nice saying. Very righttt
@@rivertheenbybitch117 thanks so much for the advice I will try to change to a better person
@@dacallp I really appreciate ur advice thanks so much
'Guys, how do you grow these?' That person is asking the real questions!
oh... apparently im the last one ("o_o), but i dont talk bad about them on purpose, my exes are just huge assholes ("*-*). So if someone ask me about my exes, well yeah i talk bad about them because they all did something bad to me (1 more than the other). But still, luckily, there were also some fun moments, unfortantly not that many. Stupid thing is that the first and last ex mentally broke me (both on a different area) so thats just hard to let someone understand you (l_l)
That necessarily depends on who was bad in the story
I swear this is a toxic free TH-cam channel