My superpowers are being able to connect the dots, no matter how far away they are. I don't ever really speak out of place, I'm honest to a fault and when I fall in love nothing else is more important (I have gotten better about maintaining my own boundaries when this happens)
My FA girlfriend is the most productive and dynamic person I have ever met. She has a very successful business, keeps her homes like Martha Stewart and travels all the time. Mind blown.
Hallelujah, we finally get to hear what’s good about FAs😮💨I will never forget reading a comment in one of the videos where someone said: “the cruelest of all attachment style” and that was such a sad thing to read. I have seen FAs who show up everyday to do the work and they most likely to become therapists such as Thais because of their experiences they get to experience both sides and understood with empathy what is like to navigate the waves of anxiety or the harsh cold of isolation that comes with the dismissiveness. Please never forget that FAs got dealt also the cruelest of all hands and because of that they are mostly likely to carry the biggest and more complex traumas💜
Their strengths are what dawns from the light within their minds, but only when not concealed by the veil of darkness that manifests during stress or anxiety.
I'm a healed FA, secure now but the hypervigilance NEVER goes away. Also, my wicked sense of humor that I developed as a coping mechanism, at least I have that going for me.
Thank you so much for reminding us that being FA means having strengths too! I know I've gone fully into personal development this year and that's why I'm here watching this video now, so that trait is spot on for me!
Thank you, PDS ❤ I needed to hear something nice about me today. I'm healing-FA and had to finally permanently walk away from my DA-ex chaos push-pull drama, my heart is achy but okay today 😢
You are the only one I've found on you tube that feels sincere , true , & real so far. I find it hard to trust this world for some reason but once in a great while I come across a person who I can fully feel realness. 🙏🏻💞
@ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool I feel like I am bringing my authentic self foward ,and once in a great while, what you say does come true, but not too often. It could be just in my head, I suppose, and I'm sure there are many authentic beautiful people in this world, but it has been my experience that I always seem to run into the opposites. (How hard is it to communicate& why does it feel like i have to try so hard to avoid sketchy fake troubled individuals)Maybe it's this country. I do appreciate your positive advice though.🙏🏽
Ok I’m a fearful avoidant style person, that is in a long distance relationship that I adore the guy while in his company but our time apart screams I’m as important to him as I wish I were… not met his family, not been to his home, not on social media w/ him…but I’ve also seen myself closing off at work and in the single circles I’m currently in so part of me what’s to give him the benefit of the doubt and approach this as things are triggering me in several aspects and I’m not blind to any of it. Is that even rational or just an excuse to hang on. I do enjoy his company but figure I’m more a fwb to him than a gf. Deflates me. We have fun together when we are together but the taking it slow and all the other blah blah. Says he doesn’t tell his kids (older married kids) because I have the same name as the ex wife that ruined him.
@stephaniewest2017 I'm not quite sure how thid ties into things , but I wish you all the luck , as it sounds like you're in halfway or a complicated state of affairs?
@@JacobCarlson-uq1my thank u. I adore him but the long distance coupled with all the typical ambiguity bs. I can’t handle being kept as a dirty little secret. I don’t think he’s married etc but definitely if he was into me I’d not be hidden.
As a child and throughout my early young adulthood I always had to be attuned to both my stepfather and my mother. It was an eggshells is more like walking on glass and fire at the same time😮😅😅😅😅😅😅 so I'm very adept to freaking a person's emotionality a mile away
I really appreciate this video. After watching so many videos on FAs I have been focusing only on what I’m doing wrong which isn’t great for your self esteem. This really helped
Walking on egg shells and having to predict what's going to happen next were not the experiences that led to the development of FA in me, but instead the figuring out of why my parents weren't together (I have only a couple memories of them being together). They both had their own severe childhood traumas and so these major psychological factors in the behavior of others was something I became aware of at an early age. The question 'why?' lead to me being especially adept at keeping track of things to the point of hyper analysis leading to paralysis in situations within my relationships. I wish I could just say the things I want to say. Learning to be present and remain in the current moment instead of imagining the future or replaying the past has allowed me to more do so.
We FAs (I'm recovering thanks to You!) really want to HEAL as well as GROW. Some Growth can't happen without areas of healing. I've studied all sorts of personal growth and healing for decades n love to teach what I know and talk abt it. More personal than just focusing on world/current events.
❤ So very good to have a short and concise list of our strengths. This is at least as helpful as all the advice on how to deal with childhood wounds that so many people share their thoughts about. I can relate to all of them, making my life so much better if I can use them in the right way. Great video Thais! Thank you
These observational powers are a double edged sword. I personally pick up on a lot of things but I can sometimes be clumsy with what I’ve picked up on and end up zeroing in on someone’s insecurities in an intentional or unintentionally vicious way.
Thais, you are amazing! Thank you for sharing your knowledge on these very important topics! Pre-marital Counseling needs to cover the attachment styles! Can I suggest you market your products to Churches, Pastors, Judges, Clergy and even HS Counselors for their Cuyrriculum?! I truly believe this could help minimize the divorce rate! I am grateful! From this INFJ to another INFJ, you!
You seem to have different names for the attachment styles. For my clarity, I’d love for you to share the alternative names for the four styles! I love your work, thank you
I would agree with this, I feel like I am a very caring, empathetic, and resilient person and and usually am able to "read minds" and predict in a way, but I admit it's not perfect and often can be negative leaning especially towards people, so you shouldn't rely on it all the time.
Thanks for the videos! Thanks for reminding us about slme strength but with that being said, tbere is a general point that i didn't really get; we should enjoy these strengths while they're here? What happens to these strengths when we work on ourselves and shift to a secure attachment style ? My question might sound silly for many of you here but im just embarking in this discovery journey! Thanks in advance for any clarification message!
My ex fa has had me hard blocked for 2 months now. I love her, miss her and would love to reconnect with her. Is she looking for me to find some creative way to contact her, or do I just stay in no-contact?
I can understand that being the case. After taking the attachment style quiz on Thais website it turns out that I am also FA. So I got that going for me. 👎🏻
If she blocked you from everything, then no, give her space. However if she told you not to contact her, but after blocking you from their primary method of communication they left a single avenue of contact available ( FB, WhatsApp, Instagram, email etc ) they expect/hope to hear from you. FAs struggle a lot with doubt and trust in relationships. They don’t believe someone will genuinely love them for who they are in their entirety, So they may exhibit protest behavior to test your commitment to them ( be kind, they don’t do this consciously, so it’s not game playing, just part of their self preservation mechanism ) Assuming you didn’t make they feel unsafe, be patience and kind when they return, from my experience FAs more so than the other insecure attachments return on their own after running away.
Typically FA's won't be the ones to reach out even if they're ready to reconnect. They fear being rejected, so you making the attempt might make them feel as if they won't be.
Please intoduce me to this type of FA. mine just cancelled christmas togther even after she already said yes, bought be a gift and me purchasing a $1,200 ticket
As an FA you hit the nail on the head all the way down to the self sabotage... The things im most passionate about in my life are coaching high school wrestling... being involved with animal rescue and a 20 plus year career in tge military... So the things that amp me up the most are helping others believe in themselves... fight for those who cant fight for themselves... motivate and inspire other to set goals for themselves and try to help provide a road map to make that happen... Additionally ive been able to experience some amazing once in a lifetime moments while living my passions... Either flying an aircraft... seeing and experiencing amazing sunrises and sunsets in some of the most remote places on earth while smoking a cigar... and or being matside for some of my sports biggest moments in history... I say all this to not try to be the humble brag guy but to provide examples to what Mrs T said are strengths and traits of FA... On the down side... when i sabotage it can be fast and extreme... low lows... This might sound odd but a part of me " likes " not sure if thats the correct term but looks forward to the high highs and the low lows of my attachment style... It keeps things interesting and keeps me stimulated as im constantly looking to quench that stimulation thirst knowing itll never actually happe... Not sure if any of that maee any sort of sense... but in my adhd manic mind it did... Mrs T great stuff been following u for 4 plus years now... You helped me work thru a seperation w my now DA wife and mother of my child... Youre genuine and authentic... Appreciate all u and the team do...
A few other thoughts... I'm a middle kid of 6 so as an FA I was always yearning for attention... so I'd adjust accordingly to make that happen... Also when I was in high-school college and post college I served... bartender and ran night clubs... I always did well being a chameleon adjusting to my audience in order to connect gather data that would help make that connection and then somehow tie something in my life that had to do with their passion points... This also works in my leadership roles and seemed to work great for establishing and developing relationships in business and all thru school... college... Example if and when someone I knew was in the military or big supporter of the military or had a fam connect etc... I'd somehow use my experience in the military and weave that into the conversation... then boom we talk military for however long and before the conversation is even over they're all about who I am and what im about... essentially it's over before it even started...
What are your FA super powers? comment below!
hum, perhaps one is my 'super powers' is akin to 'Xenochrony' or 'Gesamtkunstwerk'...
My superpowers are being able to connect the dots, no matter how far away they are. I don't ever really speak out of place, I'm honest to a fault and when I fall in love nothing else is more important (I have gotten better about maintaining my own boundaries when this happens)
My FA girlfriend is the most productive and dynamic person I have ever met. She has a very successful business, keeps her homes like Martha Stewart and travels all the time. Mind blown.
We have similarities! ☺️ Thanks for giving us compliments!
Hallelujah, we finally get to hear what’s good about FAs😮💨I will never forget reading a comment in one of the videos where someone said: “the cruelest of all attachment style” and that was such a sad thing to read. I have seen FAs who show up everyday to do the work and they most likely to become therapists such as Thais because of their experiences they get to experience both sides and understood with empathy what is like to navigate the waves of anxiety or the harsh cold of isolation that comes with the dismissiveness. Please never forget that FAs got dealt also the cruelest of all hands and because of that they are mostly likely to carry the biggest and more complex traumas💜
Their strengths are what dawns from the light within their minds, but only when not concealed by the veil of darkness that manifests during stress or anxiety.
Well said... I'm an FA... and its high highs low lows
I'm a healed FA, secure now but the hypervigilance NEVER goes away. Also, my wicked sense of humor that I developed as a coping mechanism, at least I have that going for me.
Thais: I'm an FA - and so badly need to be reminded of my strengths, as I've felt so overwhelmed by challenges over the years. Thank you!
Thank you so much for reminding us that being FA means having strengths too! I know I've gone fully into personal development this year and that's why I'm here watching this video now, so that trait is spot on for me!
You are awesome Josh! Keep up the work you're doing ❤
@@ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool I will! Thank you :)
Great video! It's not often we focus on our strengths when talking about attachment theory. Very welcomed perspective!
Glad you like this! ❤
You mean when talking about “Insecure Attachment styles”
Thank you, PDS ❤ I needed to hear something nice about me today. I'm healing-FA and had to finally permanently walk away from my DA-ex chaos push-pull drama, my heart is achy but okay today 😢
You are the only one I've found on you tube that feels sincere , true , & real so far.
I find it hard to trust this world for some reason but once in a great while I come across a person who I can fully feel realness. 🙏🏻💞
Bring your authentic self forward in your daily interactions and you will attract authentic people :)
@ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool I feel like I am bringing my authentic self foward ,and once in a great while, what you say does come true,
but not too often.
It could be just in my head, I suppose, and I'm sure there are many authentic beautiful people in this world, but it has been my experience that I always seem to run into the opposites. (How hard is it to communicate& why does it feel like i have to try so hard to avoid sketchy fake troubled individuals)Maybe it's this country.
I do appreciate your positive advice though.🙏🏽
Ok I’m a fearful avoidant style person, that is in a long distance relationship that I adore the guy while in his company but our time apart screams I’m as important to him as I wish I were… not met his family, not been to his home, not on social media w/ him…but I’ve also seen myself closing off at work and in the single circles I’m currently in so part of me what’s to give him the benefit of the doubt and approach this as things are triggering me in several aspects and I’m not blind to any of it. Is that even rational or just an excuse to hang on. I do enjoy his company but figure I’m more a fwb to him than a gf. Deflates me. We have fun together when we are together but the taking it slow and all the other blah blah. Says he doesn’t tell his kids (older married kids) because I have the same name as the ex wife that ruined him.
@stephaniewest2017 I'm not quite sure how thid ties into things , but I wish you all the luck , as it sounds like you're in halfway or a complicated state of affairs?
@@JacobCarlson-uq1my thank u. I adore him but the long distance coupled with all the typical ambiguity bs. I can’t handle being kept as a dirty little secret. I don’t think he’s married etc but definitely if he was into me I’d not be hidden.
As a child and throughout my early young adulthood I always had to be attuned to both my stepfather and my mother. It was an eggshells is more like walking on glass and fire at the same time😮😅😅😅😅😅😅 so I'm very adept to freaking a person's emotionality a mile away
I really appreciate this video. After watching so many videos on FAs I have been focusing only on what I’m doing wrong which isn’t great for your self esteem. This really helped
Walking on egg shells and having to predict what's going to happen next were not the experiences that led to the development of FA in me, but instead the figuring out of why my parents weren't together (I have only a couple memories of them being together). They both had their own severe childhood traumas and so these major psychological factors in the behavior of others was something I became aware of at an early age. The question 'why?' lead to me being especially adept at keeping track of things to the point of hyper analysis leading to paralysis in situations within my relationships. I wish I could just say the things I want to say. Learning to be present and remain in the current moment instead of imagining the future or replaying the past has allowed me to more do so.
We FAs (I'm recovering thanks to You!) really want to HEAL as well as GROW. Some Growth can't happen without areas of healing. I've studied all sorts of personal growth and healing for decades n love to teach what I know and talk abt it. More personal than just focusing on world/current events.
Thais, thank you so much for this video. I am a past FA thanks to you and I do recognize a lot of the strengths you talk about in this video. ❤
❤ So very good to have a short and concise list of our strengths. This is at least as helpful as all the advice on how to deal with childhood wounds that so many people share their thoughts about. I can relate to all of them, making my life so much better if I can use them in the right way. Great video Thais! Thank you
You're so welcome Marcel! Glad you like the video
These observational powers are a double edged sword. I personally pick up on a lot of things but I can sometimes be clumsy with what I’ve picked up on and end up zeroing in on someone’s insecurities in an intentional or unintentionally vicious way.
My greatest strength is understanding how pathetic humanity is & my ability to bypass that & embrace the animal kingdom. Shalom
Thank you so much for this 🙏🏻
Thais, you are amazing! Thank you for sharing your knowledge on these very important topics! Pre-marital Counseling needs to cover the attachment styles! Can I suggest you market your products to Churches, Pastors, Judges, Clergy and even HS Counselors for their Cuyrriculum?! I truly believe this could help minimize the divorce rate! I am grateful!
From this INFJ to another INFJ, you!
It’s nice to know we got something out of the deal!
You seem to have different names for the attachment styles. For my clarity, I’d love for you to share the alternative names for the four styles! I love your work, thank you
I would agree with this, I feel like I am a very caring, empathetic, and resilient person and and usually am able to "read minds" and predict in a way, but I admit it's not perfect and often can be negative leaning especially towards people, so you shouldn't rely on it all the time.
Thank you for sharing
this is great! Would love to see a AP strengths video too!
❤
Yayy I love the strengths video!
💪
Thanks for the videos! Thanks for reminding us about slme strength but with that being said, tbere is a general point that i didn't really get; we should enjoy these strengths while they're here? What happens to these strengths when we work on ourselves and shift to a secure attachment style ?
My question might sound silly for many of you here but im just embarking in this discovery journey!
Thanks in advance for any clarification message!
You described me to the tee 😅
You're wonderful ❤
At least we have some superpowers 😅😅😂😂 we are superheroes!
My ex fa has had me hard blocked for 2 months now. I love her, miss her and would love to reconnect with her. Is she looking for me to find some creative way to contact her, or do I just stay in no-contact?
She's asking for space
I can understand that being the case. After taking the attachment style quiz on Thais website it turns out that I am also FA. So I got that going for me. 👎🏻
If she blocked you from everything, then no, give her space. However if she told you not to contact her, but after blocking you from their primary method of communication they left a single avenue of contact available ( FB, WhatsApp, Instagram, email etc ) they expect/hope to hear from you. FAs struggle a lot with doubt and trust in relationships. They don’t believe someone will genuinely love them for who they are in their entirety, So they may exhibit protest behavior to test your commitment to them ( be kind, they don’t do this consciously, so it’s not game playing, just part of their self preservation mechanism )
Assuming you didn’t make they feel unsafe, be patience and kind when they return, from my experience FAs more so than the other insecure attachments return on their own after running away.
Typically FA's won't be the ones to reach out even if they're ready to reconnect. They fear being rejected, so you making the attempt might make them feel as if they won't be.
My fearful avoidant is definitely not resilient. Like 0%
Please intoduce me to this type of FA. mine just cancelled christmas togther even after she already said yes, bought be a gift and me purchasing a $1,200 ticket
Maybe because she's feeling like she's a burden and maybe your stress about everything you're doing is making her feel trapped.
i think the key word here is ¨CAN¨but they usually dont
As an FA you hit the nail on the head all the way down to the self sabotage...
The things im most passionate about in my life are coaching high school wrestling... being involved with animal rescue and a 20 plus year career in tge military...
So the things that amp me up the most are helping others believe in themselves... fight for those who cant fight for themselves... motivate and inspire other to set goals for themselves and try to help provide a road map to make that happen...
Additionally ive been able to experience some amazing once in a lifetime moments while living my passions...
Either flying an aircraft... seeing and experiencing amazing sunrises and sunsets in some of the most remote places on earth while smoking a cigar... and or being matside for some of my sports biggest moments in history...
I say all this to not try to be the humble brag guy but to provide examples to what Mrs T said are strengths and traits of FA...
On the down side... when i sabotage it can be fast and extreme... low lows...
This might sound odd but a part of me " likes " not sure if thats the correct term but looks forward to the high highs and the low lows of my attachment style...
It keeps things interesting and keeps me stimulated as im constantly looking to quench that stimulation thirst knowing itll never actually happe...
Not sure if any of that maee any sort of sense... but in my adhd manic mind it did...
Mrs T great stuff been following u for 4 plus years now...
You helped me work thru a seperation w my now DA wife and mother of my child...
Youre genuine and authentic...
Appreciate all u and the team do...
That's wonderful that you help people believe in themselves. Thanks for your share and appreciation!
A few other thoughts... I'm a middle kid of 6 so as an FA I was always yearning for attention... so I'd adjust accordingly to make that happen... Also when I was in high-school college and post college I served... bartender and ran night clubs... I always did well being a chameleon adjusting to my audience in order to connect gather data that would help make that connection and then somehow tie something in my life that had to do with their passion points... This also works in my leadership roles and seemed to work great for establishing and developing relationships in business and all thru school... college...
Example if and when someone I knew was in the military or big supporter of the military or had a fam connect etc... I'd somehow use my experience in the military and weave that into the conversation... then boom we talk military for however long and before the conversation is even over they're all about who I am and what im about... essentially it's over before it even started...