Bo Burnham vs. Parasocial Relationships
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 30 มิ.ย. 2024
- Parasocial relationships have become a central part of our social experience in modern society; and yet, with the way we stigmatize and misconstrue them, one would think they are exclusively poisonous. Can that be possible given their ubiquity and visible potential for positive experiences? Let's talk about Bo Burnham lmao
FD Signifier - Bo Burnham's Inside and "White Liberal Performative Art" • Bo Burnham's Inside an...
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edited by danae o.!
00:00 - intro
02:43 - bo burnham’s old material
14:35 - parasocial relationships
28:30 - intermission
29:20 - conclusion: inside and rethinking parasocial relationships
#boburnham #boburnhaminside #fandom
let's talk about parasocial relationships! how do we learn to draw the line between loving and respecting a public figure, and idolizing them?
from editor danae, a note on the brian david gilbert clip toward the end:
"that's a part commonly cited for 'parasocial relationships are bad' (people online criticized him for having a mustache, he famously responded with the part in the clip) when it was a case of viewers acting like they were entitled to complain about his appearance. Tried to connect it to what you said about treating artists as products, but I can cut it if it doesn't convey it well"
when public figures like brian david gilbert and kurtis conner grow out mustaches and their devoted fans find it acceptable to rant disdainfully about their new facial hair choices, is that an invasion of privacy? i think so. but is it strictly parasocial? is it not something that can occur in all relationships--do friends and partners not mock mustaches as well, claiming some sort of agency from a person over their own appearance? what makes it distinctly bad when fans do it? likely, the distance of anonymity, and the audacity granted by it, makes it a lot worse in many instances when fans invade a person's space rather than friends.
hope you enjoyed the vid
I feel like parasocial has become such a buzzword and it was really nice to see you break it down/give it a new meaning and give validity to it. I haven’t seen any takes this insightful and thoughtful and especially like how you addressed how dehumanizing the word can be to people when in fact the majority of fans understand that they aren’t friends with the performer/creator they like
as someone who grew up pretty isolated and and continues to be so, parasocial relationships are pretty important in keeping you from feeling lonely - something that hurts far more than actually being alone. i got really into the amongus group videos during covid because i felt a part of a group of friends, even if logically i knew i didnt actually know anything about any of those people hehe. sometimes what you gain from a parasocial relationship may be just that feeling (or it could be more thought provoking and interesting ideas like from watching this channel) and that is good!!! it is far better than feeling lonely
💜💜💜
i feel like parasocial relationships became a bit demonized almost. at the end of the day its just humans recognizing other humans and trying to connect with them, whether thats through music, videos or whatever else
As a sociology major, I absolutely loved this video. For a long time I believed that parasocial relationships were inherently negative but at the same time I would engage in said relationships and couldn’t see the middle ground and how multi-faceted such relationships are, but this video helped me see a new perspective. Awesome video, can’t wait to see more
i love how you view parasocial relationships in a more positive way. there's way too many parasocial bad content. i would love to hear more of your insight on this topic. I LOVE THE ENDING i have never seen anyone describe it like this thank you so much
maybe we'll do a stream!
he’s the only famous person i actively feel bad about liking because i think he might not like that lol
"Let's talk about inside" followed directly by an ad for a pregnancy test was funny as hell.
thank you for addressing the evilification of parasocial relationships lol
This video is so high quality, I thought this channel was way bigger than it is. Very insightful and gave me a new prespective
It's interesting see the evolution of parasocial relationships when it comes to microcelebrities like people on youtube or tiktok because, like you said, there's a much higher chance of engagement with them. Public figures are no longer unreachable. And here's me currently writing this comment hoping you'll read it ahaha.
Also, one of my favorite singers has said in an interview that she has stopped saying she's a fan of a *person* but rather a fan of that person's art, which I found interesting because parasocial relationships definitely influence the engagement with that person's art right? I mean there are many ways to find meaning in art but it seems natural to want to understand the person who created it just for the symbolism in their life if nothing else.
Amazing vid! I've been bothered with how the general internet has talked about parasocial relationship with these conversations often being condescending to the fans at best and at worse was a way for people to pathologize fans (specifically fan girls cause wooo misogyny) with a psychological-ish concept that gave them an inch to do so (a lot in general can be said about how a lot of people *really* want there to be a mental illness that can be tied *directly* to "obsessive fans").
I really like how you addressed how sort of victim blame-ey people get when it comes to fans feeling betrayed by public figures. I remember when first came out as asexual I would dread any content creator I watched bringing up asexuality, because back then I felt like people who brought up asexuality were either asexual themselves or were invalidating asexuality. And it wasn't that I was putting every single person I watched on TH-cam or followed on Twitter on a pedestal. Strong parasocial bond or not it sucks to hear someone attack an aspect of who you are and it also sucks to think about how you've contributed to the growth of that person's platform whether it be by interacting with the content to boost it in the algorithm or by recommending them to people you know.
this is the first time i see someone offer a different perspective on this! i really like your definition of parasocial relationships, it's much more empathetic and nuanced than the one in common discourse. great video!! really enjoyed this :D
Your best work yet. There were so many instances in this video where I had to just pause, let your words sink in and talk to walls about how I agree and how it applies to my own life really. You brought in so many new perspectives that at least I hadn't seen anywhere else.
And just on the whole did a great job putting everything together. As somebody who is doing a course in literary criticism and theory - and working on a few essays at the moment - I found this video to be a masterclass on how I would like to present my work as well.
This is a really cool video. I’ve been thinking about bo a lot since John Mulaney endorsed Dave Chapelle, so this video was great. It must be hard for well known people to walk around with an understanding that people “think they know you.” Imagine having an assumed personality that strangers decided for you, even if it is based off of your work. I feel that would be jarring.
I'm so glad this video randomly popped up in my recommended today. This is such a great perspective on what parasocial really is in our society today. Thanks for a great video!
Zoro could be a person, you don't know!
But moving on; loved how you kinda went off there at the end. Many love to label passionate delivery as too "emotional" and dismiss the message (just feels very micro-aggresive to me) but I'm here for it. It fills my heart to see conversations about deconstructing the idea that certain types of relationships are superior to others going around. And those that claim to be saving you from the perils of your inferior and delusional parasocial relationship are never offering better. It's always just, 'Eww. That's so dumb and creepy." Yeah, well, I'm happy over here, just minding my business. I find it interesting that you went out of your way to bother me when I wasn't bothering you. Too much time on your hands or something?
Great vid.
A deeply insightful video Elliot. Perhaps the best video I have seen from you. Your take on how the definition of parasocial relationships is flawed is so intriguing and I would love to venture into them on an academic level myself.
The way I gasped with you during the outro haha. This is a good one! Thanks you!
im so glad to have found this video! the gaze is something i struggle with in my own art and i really learnt a lot from this
thank you
I’m so glad I found your channel! I can’t believe I haven’t seen your videos before! And the way your talk about your stimulant meds is so relatable to me, I’m on Vyvanse…makes me feel comfortable, thanks for sharing and for your excellent, well researched, well thought out and presented video!
i love this video so much, i think you're the first person i heard talk about parasocial relationships with such nuance
Commenting to boost, everyone needs to see this sometime in their lives, it’s crazy the difference between the stereotypical parasocial relationship and how much more they can be
I love your video essay o0o
Bump for sake of the algorithm. This is a really rewarding set of perspectives, and a point on the definition that should absolutely be more widely discussed. Thank you for the hard work.
What a nuanced take on parasocial relationships. I've always heard this term used in a negative sense. You changed my mind. Thank you!
this whole video hit, especially the conclusion. ive been thinking about this stuff a lot as of late
Thank you for this video. I often feel pretty bad/concerned about not getting adequate, regular social interaction because I have zero friends and thus spend a lot of time online. I've also fully accepted and agreed with the common view of all forms of parasociality being negative, and have been very painfully aware of the limited/one-sided nature of interactions online for a long time. This video successfully introduced a new perspective for me, a more positive way to view it and it feels... kinda nice actually. Sure, it won't (and shouldn't) replace personal interactions, and my comment is just bits in a void that will never gain a response (and I don't expect it to), but Elliot had a thought that he felt his audience could benefit from hearing. His words prompted me to think about something new to me, and influenced my mindset about the topic. My thoughts led me to respond by commenting that I did indeed benefit from hearing his thoughts. Some sort of connection was had there. It might not be ideal, but I'm fulfilling a basic human need in the only way consistently available to me, and Elliot (along with many other creators) is helping me do that. That makes me feel a bit better about my socialization being so limited by my circumstances.
You do have a nice pair of glasses!
Nice video btw, love the editing and I really hope your channel gets the recognition it deserves
also this video reminded me to take my medication so automatic 10/10
Found your channel recently and I'm working through all your videos, just had to say I really appreciate all your takes 🐈
I’m loving the video. Interesting hear more about parasocial relationships and I really like your theory! (Also I loved to hear your cover of Anti-Romantic! Are you a MOA??)
Thank you for making this video. I learned a lot from it and I really like how you talk about para social relationships and "real life" relationships not being better or lesser than the other but just being different. I agree.
And uhhm... I love you too ;)
not fully done w this video yet but smth i think is interesting to consider based on your definition of parasocial relationship or social interaction is the ways that consumption of any type of media might fall under the same category? like reading a book or watching a movie. and though to me to call reading a book a social interaction feels odd, to some extent i can understand it. cause like if someone is reading a book, they might decide to annotate it and talk back to the text in a visual way. even if the author never sees that annotation, it still exists. even if the reader doesn’t annotate a book, they are still interpreting what the author is saying and engaging with the content and the context surrounding it. however, i wonder then what doesn’t qualify as a social interaction? idk just some thoughts i had im gonna go back to watching this vid lol
this is a really good insight, thank you. i hadn't even thought abt that
I truly love watching your analysis and essays. They always give me something to think about. People do tend to judge and act superior when you talk about someone you’re a fan of which can feel othering at times. They almost pity you which has always felt odd because it’s not like I don’t have healthy face to face relationships. Like you said both types of relationships provides me with something the other can’t and I value both. I hope more people come to see parasocial relationships as something more than the delusional stalker fan. Anyway, thanks again.
Loooved this one
i really enjoyed this one, thank you!
sometimes i struggle with scientific stuff and complex ideas you cover in videos, it can be hard for me to grasp and follow at times, but this one was really easy to understand. i can't believe that "serious" people who do research, write papers, define terms, etc. cannot get it.
also would appreciate if it was be possible to add eng subs to the video.
I'm at about min 27 so this may end up being mention, but I think it's extremely important to acknowledge that even if we look at some of these interactions between audience and media figures as something that isn't 'reciprocated', isn't there something to be said for the humanity of a media figure lending itself to audience members by extension learning more about themselves and inherently shifting the other relationships in their lives? It's a little convoluted when I try to explain my thought process on this one admittedly but like. Watching your videos and some other creator's videos on here has been the catalyst for a lot of thought processes and self reflection that has effected conversation topics and how I interact with the world.
I think a cause for concern is when audience actively dehumanizes media figures or turns on them for exhibiting normal human traits. Part of that desperate search for identity in the 'who am I really' sense lends itself to reactionary responses from audiences because they're fixated on being a certain kind of fan, or because their sense of self hinges on the idea that they're a fan of so-and-so, and if so-and-so has exhibited unbecoming behavior, then is that by extension a reflection of the audience?? As if being a fan of the right things and right people is a grade you can actually score 100 on.
This is getting harder to track as I go on lmao so I'll leave it at this xD
This is awesome, I'm fed up with the flack I get about my psrs that I've had several since the age of ten. Ive got an intense one and I'm working hard to loose the boarder line pathologicalness, I'm a 50 year old married woman with two amazing teenage kids,I'm a dreamer. The world is not enough. You're the best. Love you❤ I'm so glad I found you....
Thank you for teaching about the new dance craze "The Philosopher"!
Please I need a part two on how to make them healthier.
I’ve been watching this channel for a while and one thing I appreciate ab this channel a lot is that I am somewhat certain I won’t get the one sided narrow minded condescending viewpoint that a lot of click baity video essays push & at the same time will gain helpful or more healthy perspectives 🙏🏻 which is inherently up to me & less persuaded or “pressured” to do 📖📚
You do indeed have a nice pair of glasses 🤣 love this video, keep up the great work!
Your ending note of our relationships with figures in public media can be made healthy contrasts well with the feeling given off by Hyeatiful's video, "NewJeans Ditto Will Change How You See Kpop Forever." We might wanna turn it all off when we think of ourselves as delluded. When you get someone like Bo Burnham with a straightforward self-awareness and love of laughter, he still has to fine-tune it to be received by someone other than himself and the God of his consciousness. He curates art to be deeply satisfied and realizes he'd rather perform for nobody at all. But that's not what earth is all about. In a way, it's us that are toying with his head and he can't get us out of it.
love your videos❤
thank you!
"Do your worst"
That pause you took when you tried to compliment yourself, and fell back on complimenting your glasses instead was the funniest thing I've seen of your videos. Pretty relatable and perfectly timed.
On the topic of the Michael Jackson and Who fans talked about…
Misattributing those injuries to fans “behavior” is not only gross from a moral level but prevents the prevention of future injuries.
Hell, I’m part of the reason most concerts and festivals now either provide free water or allow you to bring your own… a few years back I went temporarily blind bc I wasn’t allowed to have a water bottle on me (bc it “could be alcohol”)but had to show up something like 4 hours early on a 95°f day to wait in line for the show. I have preexisting health problems and hadn’t drank enough beforehand (worth taking into account between the line and drive I didn’t have access to any water at all for around 6 hours), so the heat and dehydration literally made me go blind JUST as the gates opened, meaning I accidentally made a very public spectacle of fumbling around in a moving line yelling “I CANT SEE!” and of my partner having to rush me inside and shell out like $30 on bottles of water in front of /most/ of the concertgoers. The next year all the shows we went to provided free water and/or encouraged people to bring bottles.
THIS VIDEO IS SEVERELY UNDERRATED
Oh my god i'm an nb nd afab person in a 3rd world country and my whole life i've been in fandoms and i was always being judged for it even though it didn't feel like something unhealthy to me, it felt like (as you said) a safe space outside of my crappy school and unsafe country where i could finally make friends and be accepted. Thank you for this video, it really made me feel more valid.
(Also I watched this with my sister and at the end she was jokingly like "do you love him?" right before you said "i love you" and we gasped at the same time as you, parasocial telepathy moment woah✨)
I love this video. It's a crime that only 16k people saw it. It felt almost like a movie or something, that's a quality content right there
Promise me to always smile and be healthy....so basically, never show us you're suffering. Gaslight us until you drop. I get that she's just wishing him happiness but especially for idols, it's darker than what it's shown which usually include moments where theey use like the best acting skills I've ever witnessed. All idols who left it shared how horrible it is, well, those who didn't take their lives. And thinking of it like this, the reason why idols cry a lot when their fans wish them the world makes me think they're already suffering in some way and can't show it. Cause if I was soooo happy and someone wished I'd always keep smiling, etc...a...I'd just be like: I already am. Thanks. Not breaking down. And I am not talking about the idol you've picked at the start of the vid in particular, but about the reactions of a lot of idol's I've seen. All reacting the same.
I appreciate this video. the only thing that I will say is that Idk for sure if parasocial relationships are healthy. Trippie Redd was my favorite artist from 2018 to like 2021. (I'm a girl/musician might I add.) I use to go on his IG & look @ pictures of him & look @ all his fanpages & just be so amazed by him. in 2021, I had the luxury of hanging out w/ him. Most people would get a ticket for a concert or a meet & greet but I actually hung out @ his house. I'm from NJ & I moved to California & saw him a month later. even though I'm not popular for anything yet & I wasn't the 1 to construct the plan, I still got the oppurtunity to hang out @ my favorite artist's house. I feel like parasocial relationships give off the notion that these people are so out of reach that they are unhuman & it's impossible for you to be in a situation w/ them & in addition to that, people who do get the oppurtunity treat them holier than thou & embarrass themselves, ruling out any chance of friendship from that person.
Let's talk about the audience as a collective, this conversation reminds me of the dynamic we have with large corporations that are selling to us without us having any idea who they are but they consume our media to try and please us and take advantage of us as a consumer collective.
Dude, your point is amazing. I would like to expand on it saying that parasocial relationships feel like a fundamental cognitive function that enables human beings to interact with anything that is not present (spatially or temporally). That would include such fundamental things as our memories and even our own imagination of, for example, how to talk to someone that we are about to talk to or just predicting how simple (and complicated) things are going to play out and how we are supposed to respond (like in a basketball game or something like that).
P.S.: Every religion that has a "god" is fundamentally parasocial, which means that religions would not exist without the ability of humans to form parasocial relationships (which kind of explains why animals do not present any religious activity).
Dang I didn't realize you were on stims homie ❤ been stuck with concerta since i was four
i actually was thinking how nice your glasses are
Best marketing technique: making a 1h video about why you should like, share and subscribe. Also I think I’m gonna watch inside again
good video ^-^
Wish I could repost a TH-cam video
you can always share it!
18:25 you read my mind I was literally thinking about hasanabi
you have a very nice pair of glasses!
They are good glasses
you have a nice pair of glasses
Liverpool + Hasanabi + One Piece mentions sheesh the algorithm has locked me down. All that was missing was a reference to Brazil
the whole parasocial things reminds me of "if a tree falls in a forest and no one is around, did it ever make a sound." obviously, yes, just no one heard it
Bo Burnham's best song in my opinion is one that he didnt perform, Channel 5 News is still that slightly edgy humour but its an actually down to earth and good social discussion on how the news dramatizes what happens and shows you what gets the most money
Bo!!!!! Hes that guy!!! Wooo!!!!
Liam payne.
Wdym Liam Payne?
read 'imagined communities', to better understand 'imagined' what you call human, is imagined differently by different communities.
Sorry to comment so late. Only just came across your channel and this video. (Enjoying both!)
I would disagree with you that parasocial relationships are not illusory. I believe they very much are, but they are not, as some of the academic literature you quoted states, "imaginary," and that this distinction is an important one to make. They are illusory, but not imaginary, in the same way that the mirage of water on a distant asphalt road on a clear summer's day is an illusion but not a conjuring of the imagination. It is not "real," but it is really perceived by the observer.
We have millions upon millions of years of evolution telling us how to identify members of our own species and hundreds of thousands of years of being social creatures who survive through familial communities. Realistic drawings of other humans are only several hundred years old. Moving images are only just over a century old, and those with sound just shy of that.
So, when I am constantly exposed to another human face, the most ancient part of my brain is-by evolutionary design-assigning that face as "important member of my village," or even "family member," and, when this face comes to me through media, all I have to counter it is the youngest, "logical" part of my brain telling me otherwise, and whatever genetic adaptations could even be built around that have only had three or four generations to do so, and so are hardly sufficient.
The sense that I feel intense familiarity with a particular person in the media (even as I simultaneously cognitively understand I do not "know" this person in "real life") is the illusion created by modern technology. But I do not imagine it. The relationship I experience is illusory, but not imaginary. The quality of the relationship I experience is not "real," though I really perceive it. That dissonance is unavoidable and is at the core of the parasocial relationship.
somehow this video, makes the idea of starting a TH-cam channel less scary.
Personally I don't think that Repeat Stuff is really meant to poke at the consumer where he is 'trying to save them.' I think he really just tried to say 'hey this is a shitty thing they do.'
❤
I got 14 mins into this video but now I have to go take my sister into boobie surgery so I’ll be back ASAP, eager to see the rest!
sick glasses
can you react to that movie “the secret” it’s free on youtube 😮😳
or give your opinion on it
idk if this has already been said but the situation with John Mulaney really really reminds me of the whole deal with JK Rowling
It reads to me more like a woman has to lose a parent and show that to be able to post whatever they dare to enjoy on instagram? I’m tired of joking about what women honestly like.
I don’t have an instagram and dislike that I feel any need to disown that :(
You fail to recognize Bo's actual perspective on parasocial relationships because his special Inside is all about the absurd beauty of Parasocialism in this age of the Internet.
Additional comment for engagement
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Not gonna lie, I was kinda avoiding this topic because I've had my fair share of not so healthy parasocial relationships ever since I was 12 and to be honest it's still something I'm not proud of lol, it has been an obstacle in my transition into adulthood and I'm learning to manage it. This video made me rethink my history with parasocial relationships in a much more friendly and nuanced way. So thank you Elliot! Love the channel😊