Why Love Turns Into Hate - Teal Swan -
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 3 ต.ค. 2024
- It is no secret that people who we experience being loved by the very most sometimes become our most ardent haters. It just so happens that if we are only capable of practicing conditional love, The more intense our level of positive appreciation for (and therefore oneness relative to something is), the more intense pain we will feel as a result of losing that feeling of oneness and losing that positive feeling we had towards them. The more intense that pain is, the more hurt we perceive ourselves. The more hurt we perceive ourselves, the more deeply we will see ourselves as the victim and them as the threat. The more we see them as the threat and ourselves as the victim, the more we will hate them. This is why the people who loved us the most, our most avid fans, often become our greatest enemies.
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Teal Swan is a revolutionary for personal transformation and is one of The Most Spiritually Influential Living People in the world. As a renowned author, speaker and social media star, she travels the world teaching self-development and teaching people how to transform their emotional, mental, physical and spiritual pain.
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Beginning Song:
Kuan Yin's Mantra (c) 2002 Lisa Thiel
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You are like an important friend... I'm so happy to be able to listen to your advice so easily ... Thank you so much, Teal!
Yes exactly, well said. I made some tea and I'm catching up on teal videos tonight!
Hey. Nice to see you again. Hope you're doing fine. Hugs. :)
I can honestly say that I unconditionally love my dogs.
also if they would bite your child?
Sis, it's non of my business but for the sake of others here I kindly ask you to stay to the truth. Only very few people are able to love a dog who doesn't obey their orders. Only this would be "unconditional" love. Just because you feed them all though they don't feed you back doesn't mean they really don't feed you at all. They give you emotional food. And without this (non-sexual) affection, you would put him away.
@@NoahElRhandour who cares the dogs are so so so so much better than stupid children
@@lisaa6099 i mean you have to be able to pass your knowledge to the children. if you cant do that its no wonder they are below average
It's crazy to see how many of our egoic problems arise from following false dichotomies and beliefs as a kid. What a messed up world
What a messed up world ^2
I don’t have kids, but I see this phenomenon in my brother. My brother gives his 3 sons a vastly different amount of love. The son most like him gets the most love. The son least like him gets the least love. And so on. It’s really gross.
Have you pointed it out to him ? He might not be aware that he is playing favoritism, if he isn’t aware of it , than now with you mentioning-it, he will be more observant to his behavior and hopefully ask each kid how he would like him to show them love , because we are all diffrent, we might want love a different way, and if the son that’s more like him gets the most love, it’s because he is like him , so he gets the love he knows as love, where his other kids are not of same interest , so he will have to figure out with them , how to deliver the love that they need , I believe , that just the awareness and attention to the effort would help heal many wounds in no time , :) much love xoxo
Did your father or grandfather act like that?
And yet, you notice these things and that alone would put you in a better position towards children. But you don't have them...
At least you didn't 6 years ago 😀
I think hate stems from conditional/selfish love when one's expectations of the other are not met. But really it is just a manifestation of insecurity from the "hater's" part because they feel the lover is not giving them the love/attention they need to feel worthy.
Rani I agree with you 💯!
@@JMigUK try what you just said with a borderline. It's so close to narcissism and it makes you feel so less than than and then you absolutely end up hating that person not just because your needs weren't met but because you were made to feel so less than human
This just explained my whole life. Now I know why I feel like a "pet" child.
That's exactly why I think most relationships are over-rated.
jchahine sure...
@jchanine, I'm Aquarius too. I wish I didn't fall in love in beginning (I have a Cancer moon), because I'd love to have several boyfriends (all that I love and appreciate (maybe a few girlfriends, too)) that I hang out with. Every relationship I have had has been like this: Majorly in love at the beginning, start loving them as friend, start developing crushes on other people, and then wishing I could see other people without being a cheater or bad person. With my last guy, I no longer wanted a romantic relationship with him, but he loved me like I was a goddess. For years, I wanted another relationship. I didn't want to hurt him and I seriously valued his friendship. After years of wanting out, I got out, and now sometimes when I think about how he hates me now and how much I hurt him and how much I'd just love to see him again and discuss old times it makes me cry.
Great video. In my effort to stop the madness of hating my children for perceived betrayals due to their lifestyle choices... I made changes in my own life in order to meet them where they were, so that we would have no more reasons to hate. Now my family feels I love them unconditionally, and I feel accepted. I do not regret the changes I had to make within myself...and interestingly, they accept me the way that I am.
I realize this when I was 18 years old but never had courage to say this out loud. Teal is the Goddess to me. Thank you so much.
I think the psychological dynamics you are in fact hitting on is the spectrum of Narcissist Parents and Co-dependency. Both of these topics do have a wide spectrum. Beyond the psychological theory, I do agree with you Teal, that the spiritual roots to these issues are also vital and need our greatest love and compassion. Some describe the dynamic as the soulless(Narcissist) and soulful(co-dependent). Because a co-dependent has not yet learned about their boundaries, and how to share their almost endless empathy in a healthy way they give and give to narcissists(takers) until they break this cycle. IMO For the soulful realizing they've been taken advantage of is not enough. A powerful healing step finding compassion and forgiveness within yourself, waking up and realizing it's not your fault. Whenever someone abuses you, or takes advantage of your KINDNESS, that is NOT your fault. What you can do is reconsider who you offer those beautiful things to.
I do hope more people reconsider why they're becoming parents in the first place. The trouble is, if an individual swings strongly on the Narcissist spectrum, they don't think they have a problem to begin with. It will be very challenging to change their minds that having a child for their own ego drive is destructive and traumatic to the child. As a society I hope we find more love and compassion for the dysfunctional children they churn out. There are so many hurting loving souls among us, eyes open wide shut, getting into unhealthy relationships because it's all they've ever known. Let us all offer them compassion when the dam breaks, and the truth finally reveals itself.
Codependents are narcissists
Where have you been all my life? My mother is the biggest faux unconditional lover You pretty much just made me not feel crazy Thankyou
i love you youre such a beautiful soul dont listen to all these haters. this is a powerful message it makes sense
My mother is clearly my antagonist in my life
Do think Hank Hill is an example of unconditional love? Bobby was the opposite of everything Hank was and believed in yet he still wanted the best for Bobby and accepted him.
This was actually magnificent. I've been thinking on this subject of conditional and unconditional love for a while now, but I can't talk to anyone about it because they usually just think I'm crazy. I remember as a kid in English class when a girl gave a speech on the subject, it's always an interesting thing to talk about.
so true! what my physically, emotionally and verbally abusive narcissist taught me was that yes indeed my love at a deeper and intimate level was conditional. I can still love this man from afar where I am safe from abuse, but I had to leave him, I could not love him thru much cheating, violence over and over and mind games. It was all too much and i told him I didn't have the kind of love it takes to see his abuse thru. As a mother i feel like i do love my children unconditionally but children dont occupy the same space as a lover ...it is the same love but loving a lover is another chapter in the book of love, a chapter that isn't in parental love...i dont know if that made sense....it's hard to unscramble eggs...thank you much for these vids, tehy have helped me soooooo much xoxox
Totally made sense. It is how I feel with my narc husband and kids. I want so much to experience the unconditional love talked about. Have you found it yet after posting this 2 years ago?
I'd say my love is conditional upon you treating me with kindness and respect.
Yes, I agree. I think that's very reasonable.
what if u have a very difficult child, will u hate them if they dont treat u so well?
Funny you should ask....I DO have a difficult child....and I have to say that this question becomes quite a challenge, but one I personally feel is my responsibility to take on. Just remember that you can love your children when they're difficult and still have clear boundaries.....and I think it's imperative that we as parents model mutual respect and live by the same "relational rules" that we want our children to live by.
I have a very difficult child. He's 41 and has denied us any contact with our grandchildren. He projects his guilt and shame onto parents, He wages a vicious smear campaign against us. He is 15 years estranged from us because I didn't allow him to call me names.
I recently learned that he lost his vehicle and replaced it with an old car because hes on disability pension. His replacement vehicle has bald tires because thats the only car he and his children can afford, Despite the painful relationship we have had from this difficult child, and no contact, i have in the last few days researched a dependable newer truck and drove 4 hours in each direction to buy it and drive it home, I don't want him and our grandchildren skiing off the mountain in that tin can hes now driving, I;m not rich but I bought him that truck and will be delivering it and leaving it in his driveway with documents and keys. BECAUSE I LOVE HIM.. Hes my son.
I love myself equally because I don't allow my son to call me hurtful names and treat me disrespectfully.
This is both conditional and unconditional Love.
Stephanya Lisova Why did he call you names?
Our idea of love is a "perfect illusion"
And after all of this you simply state "have a good week"... Ha! I'm pretty shaken by the reality of self-absorbtion I live in. Thank you for pointing it out.
Linda Zizlavska romantic love is a chemical reaction in your brain used to repopulate the earth that’s all it’s good for
My weekend is about to end with a clear mind state about love. One of the best short lectures I have heard.
I want to go deeper into this topic of love vs. identification...
True love can never ever become hate not matter how the other hurt us.
Lola Velmar Hypocrite.
i agree....but that goes to show u how very rare true love really is...
love without agenda ? or love with maturity and personal accountability ? which is 'true love' ?
that's not true. love (or any feeling for that matter) is just chemical reaction in the brain. and this reaction can fade or turn 180.
If it comes from human beings it’s going to suck that even if it’s love
12:45 "In other words, in the spiritual community, when most people say "unconditional love" is complete denial, is the fact that they will not acknowledge the fact that they in fact love conditionally".
The MASSIVE damage these people do is that some of us believe them and learn of them being in denial before even they themselves do. Unconditional love is the cruelest type of false hope.
I was lucky enough to experience unconditional love. It came with a lot of pain.
Wow I needed this this morning
this video is a gem!! what i have felt and experienced form people, especially parents my whole life...that most people dont know what love is, absolutely not. humans need to learn how to love
So strange how I never watched this one before because it didn't seem to fit my mood or needs at any point based on the title, but then it happens to be the video that expresses some of the deepest truths I've come to understand these past couple years. The truth about unconditional love and conditional love . . . revealed.
This is excellent. Not only has this, in a sense, crystallized a part within the broader philosophical system which has been elusive to me, but has enabled me to broaden my personal scope of understanding, which may result in a far-reaching shift that could positively affect life in a larger sense. You are wise. I’m glad to have you as a teacher. Thank you for the blessing of knowledge that you confer upon us all.
You are so honest about everything! Why are you so rare? I need someone like you, a man like you in my life ❤️ you are special! I always felt no matter to whom l’ve talked along the way, l felt their masks on, no one talked to me honestly about how they really felt or what they believed but telling me sentences they learned from someone. I so much need real connection, It’s what l’ve always been looked and craving for. And l lied to myself that l got it, now that l am looking deeply into myself (with your help) l see everything as it was/is. You make me cry, Teal. ❤️ But l love you, wish people made me cry with their honesty than with their lies. It’s such a big difference. And it’s actually so easy to say the truth!
Much better. She is quite audible now and not just talking to herself. Thank God
Yes it was edited. And it is appreciated. The 1st time I watched it, it felt like she was basically saying that all love is conditional and unconditional love is unattainable, even between a parent and child...then nothing. No guidance on how to overcome it or deal with it, especially if you are indeed a child who has experienced trauma from say...a very narcissistic parent who appears to be super mom and lucky to be your mom, but behind closed doors stifles your personality and love for your other parent in some cases (divorce/blended families). I guess at least she asks the question "if my love is conditional, what is it conditional upon?". Still, I wish there were more guidance instead of the "by the way, unconditional love is completely rare and you probably have no idea what it is or how to practice it, nor your parents, partners, etc, and it has the potential to turn into hatred at any given time."
I really wish she would do videos to help parents and children dealing with this type of behavior, especially in blended families where parental alienation is present, emotional and mental child abuse, where the child is taught hatred to the other parent, the family, even the other siblings. I wish she could do a video on how to deal with those issues since so many deal with it and need the spiritual guidance for it.
I enjoy and appreciate you and the truth of your words spoken within your messages. When I decide to click a video of yours to watch and be educated, I must brace myself for your straight forwardness, and at times I feel anxious or afraid of your honesty....I am grateful to you and thankful for the energy you put forth in your videos. May the universe continue to provide opportunity for everyone everywhere to educate themselves with truth and awaken!
I particularly enjoy the part about Spiritual gurus saying the love unconditionally being BS. This is why I think Teal is great! She's fearless~
One of the best videos you've ever done, thank you!
Teal is the wisest person on TH-cam.
When you talked about terrorised kids by their parents, that hit straight into my heart. Just that I was never able to accept that reality until now. Because I had to repress saying anything negative about the family out loud while growing up ☠️
amazing vid! everything you said described the relationship my mom had with me. I took what I learned and my relationship with my gf fell apart. Conditional love isn't compatible with life...your right. it will all end badly if one goes down the route of conditional love or a transactional relationship things will end badly. To simplify.....unconditional love in the end is the only thing that can survive anything in life
Just gotta shout out how awesome Teal is!! Unconditional love rocks! It causes rapid growth in a relationship. Someone steps boldly out of their ego for that to occur. The best love is the only real pure love which is unconditional. Teal you are a special giving person. I'm grateful for how smart you are as well as generous. I will meet you and when we do I can check off that item grim my bucket list. THANK you for everything you give with nooo charge. I will become a donor of yours financially. 😊
Now I got it! So, basicaly, you just have to be aware that your love is not unconditional and what condition it is based on. Thanks, very well explained!
Once the mutual respect is gone the love you thought you had for one another quickly disappears. All relationships are conditional and based on the need to feel respected and show it at the same time even though you may not see eye to eye on many issues. This respect is tested as children seek independence from you and form their own opinions which very often differ from your own as a sort of rebellion in many cases. These relationships often get mended once the children grow up and take on the responsibilies themselves. My own Mother would say you have to love someone alot to take the time & effort to hate them, for if you didn't love them you wouldn't bother at all. Great share.
Love protects.
Love helps the "other" be the best they can be,
Love is kind
Love is patient
Love endures
Love walks in after everyone walks out
Love is fearless.
Love is sacrificing
Love is selfless.
Love overcomes
Love burns with eternal hope
For there to be Love, it must be a process of give and receive
When you keep giving and giving and getting nothing back in return, its no longer Love but a user relationship.
Love is being Considerate, Respectful, Accommodating.
Where there is no respect, there can be no love,
Love is not unconditional. Evil does not allow itself to be loved. Evil destroys Love.
Love is not a noun. Love is an action
Love is not about Me, Love is about You, about Me and about We
Little children. let us not love in word and tongue but in deed and truth.
You have to give to receive,
Love is not selfish, its meant to be shared with others, with God, for God.
Love is God and God is Love
Love is trusting
Ultimately, Love is: Letting go of FEAR.
.
Human love isn’t any of those things I’d it comes from human beings it’s going to suck
Empathy and compromise works far better than love.
Hey Teal! Great Video and great topic. Your perspective is unique and it really makes you stand out amongst the spiritual community. I like how you keep things Real! I admit to have been raised by narcisstic parents and family. This video explains the dichotomy of these types of relationships. I'm living proof that love can turn into hate, but hate can also turn back into love. In actuality I didnt know how to love or what unconditional love was. I thought I was a loving person until I met my husband. If unconditional love is rare, then I must be the luckiest girl to have met someone in that small population. He's taught me what real love is and made me realize that I was self loathing and co dependent. But he completely understood and despite all my weaknesses and crazy dysfunctional background, he said he saw through me and saw my heart. He didn't have to stay with me and help me pick up all the broken pieces of my heart but he did because he accepted all of me. The good, the bad and the ugly. And that made me realize I needed to change, not for him, but for myself. He's just going to enjoy me even more now. For anyone out there who thinks real love is rare. It is, when you have a closed off heart. But it's out there and it's possible and it's real! just be open to receive it. I'm so ready to love myself and others unconditonally.
God bless.
I support you Teal. Been following your channel at least 7 years.
And I love youuuuu
Its gonna be a long time before i am ready to raise a child hah (still working on loving myself unconditionally)
Great video learned alot! :D
Flow charts are Teal's way of loving us all. 🙏💙
I needed to hear this. Thank you so so so very much💐💝💐
Your parting question...
What is my love conditional upon?
What a haunting and striking question
Indifference is not the opposite of love. Love has no opposite, Teal, because Love is Whole and Perfect.
TwinFlames Jeff and Shaleia Dead is whole and perfect.
Such a relief hearing you say these things. They are my conclusions too.
Wow! Some incredible insights here about the child/parent dynamic! Thank you Teal!
a groundbreaking message - and it's the same between lovers
True love never turns into hate. It is too wise
Love does turn to hate
THANK YOU for being brave enough to say the truth! most people think all or most parents love their kids, and in my experience its not true. i feel actually its the opposite, that most KIDS love and need their parents no matter how bad they may treat us. we go to the ends of the earth to earn their love and sometimes they never give us that love and acceptance. whereas i see most parents having kids as a status symbol, everyone else has them, why not have them? but they have not the foggiest idea how to love and they dont love their kids.....
I'd say mutual respect. People get comfortable with each other and don't communicate what they really want but expect the other person to know. When they can't do without being told the other person loses respect for them. Entitlement, stupid pride, and lack of respect destroy relationships.
The stupid pride makes people too proud to apologize and others to proud to accept someone's apology even if it's sincere. It brings a desire to have dominance and control. If everyone could only get over themselves.
Thank you.
I think you're absolutely right.
I truly love u all humanity unconditionally oh even the haters. We're all victims here, some of us been far more hurt for far longer than others but who is really to weigh my suffrage or hurt over yours without being u I would never know or know who you are or your story or your hurt too and what that feels like all I can do is show u compassion and empathy relating to the pain of hurt or sufferings which I've faced, still face today but sum had to overcome.
You are so honest and real Teal. Namaste.
Very timely. Excited to watch.
r you okay? tell your bf to behave himself and to stop hurting girls
+Franky a what are you talking about man.
All is well here. Thanks for your concern. 😊 Just choosing to expand and understand unconditional love. 💗
God; my life Teal with my parents... Thank you so much for this.
Thank You !
Very insightful and Super Clarifying.TY😀 and My next Relationship wil be Truly unconditional..because i want the best for my best friend All the Time 'Whomever that is?'...Her Actions dont Validate My happiness..I do! ..so love grows from actual love and not pride or arrogance...Peace To You Teal and Family😀✨
There is no love without condition, unconditional love is a inconsistency in it self, and I can give you 2 simple examples:
''Unconditional'' also implies that you would also love this person when he or she would throw a rock on your head or anykind of physically or psycologically hurt.
Also when u love your child, u love your child, caused of the condition that it is your child.
Therefore u simply can not love anything, at least it relates in any kind of form to you. Which is the condition, and without this condition no love could possibly occur.
You can love someone for who he or she is but not also for anything he or she does or doesn't do.
I was always told as a child. To never hate and I am only allowed to dislike. Well after a failed divorce. Put into slavery (child support) to my abuser. She automatically getting the kids. Then I turned that dislike into hate. I also had two other people in my life I put into the hate category.
Once I did that. The confusion and pain. The desire for them to make it up to me went away.
Hate is a necessary evil at times.
Brilliant insight. I agree
My love is conditional upon ... Not hurting me and honoring my trust.
thank you
You totally hit the nail on the head... Again! Thanks Teal xo
so insightful! 😮 came at a great time, I was recently made to feel ashamed and scorned by one of my closest friends. I probably hurt him too because I challenged him. what is my love conditional upon? moral support and sensitivity towards my feelings. guess that's what I need to work on.
I have someone that loves me unconditionally .. doesn’t make him perfect though. We have bumps but it’s been a 25 year relationship
Very interesting. The final question is thought-provoking.
You are absolutely right. Love your wisdom.
Great, thanks Teal, I can see myself sometimes paying for something that was given to me, and see others doing the same. I love my family and I would like to think I love them unconditionally, I am becoming more conscientious about this.
Oh my Goddess. This hits home so hard.
Do healthy boundaries interfere with the expression of unconditional love? Great video once again Teal!
Nope, they don't, you can love everybody and everything and not have anything to do with something. Somebody that you love can hurt you by not having your best interests at heart. That would naturally cause anger and you would embrace the anger and express it outwardly(because you love yourself) without hurting them (because you love them), if they do this multiple times you would retreat because tovlove yourself means to respect your boundaries. You would then love them from afar without hate or resentment, but instead with compassion because you understand they hurt you only because they themselves have insecurities. If you can't then it means however they hurt you is a reflection upon one of your own insecurities, so you then need to embrace that pain and use the awareness of it to look within, find the insecurity you have and take action to heal it until you unconditionally love yourself. This is all much easier said than done, compassion to yourself and your own feelings and actions goes along way to get one started on this path. The goals is to live with authenticity, always embrace and respect your feelings and boundaries and be confident enough to always believe in and love yourself no matter what. 😊❤
Thank you so much💐
Unconditional love is a difficult concept. But I question the possibility of loving unconditionally even if a person isn't behaving in a loving way. If it is possible, it would blow Teals theory out of the water, would it not? I'll explain.
Just because we may not always outwardly behave in a loving way, doesn't mean that a person actually loves less or with condition or even feels less love towards a person. It is possible to love unconditionally and hold another temporary or lower frequency by feeling some other way (some type of discontent). Love is the the total energy that we're made of - other emotions are a sort of secondary state of being. I'm not implying that everyone holds the love frequency all the time, but it is possible to love wholeheartedly and be angry, disappointed, scared etc too. This is a very human experience to be able to feel a mix of emotions - it's something most of us are familiar with. I do agree that a person cannot hold 2 frequencies simultaneously but there's a sort of contradiction in Teals description because love is always there - as it is what we're made of - it is source energy manifested into human form. It is the outward show of love that may be absent (forgotten or nurtured out) as we grow up. So it creates confusion and conflicting displays of what love is. Human beings are the love energy and it is nurture that teaches love to be something else creating confusion and conflict. You see, love (or love energy) is never gone, it's like any other energy, it changes form (or frequency). All emotions are a variation of the love frequency, and would explain why it feels or appears as though a person isn't loving unconditionally. A person instinctively does love unconditionally upon birth then perhaps relearns it as something else redefining it completely sometimes. But the love energy is never absent as that is impossible but the absence of the outward display of love or the absence of feeling love doesn't make it actually absent as it has simply changed form or frequency. This is in fact what creates damage as Teal described. A small deviation in a persons perception, idea or teachings of what unconditional love is, becomes a very large and misunderstood deviation over time forcing the love frequency to change. The absence of holding the love frequency is what creates the conflict, confusion and ultimately the damage that arises in our children. This manifests collectively into a much different collective frequency. But the (unconditional) love is never "gone". But if the feeling and displays of this love is absent, it is then that it appears to be conditional love.
"You see, love (or love energy) is never gone, it's like any other energy, it changes form (or frequency). All emotions are a variation of the love frequency"
i find this to be in accordance with many mystics' accounts and insights on the fundamental nature of existence
Your point?
just an observation, i agree with that viewpoint. nothing confrontational.
Lol me either, I don't like confrontation myself. But I guess I just wasn't following what you were saying. That's all.
🙂
I believe we hold multiple frequencies at most times
thank you Teal Swan.
i did unconditionally love someone... for many years.. but she just got a new boy friend after another.. she never wanted me.. now i lost hope.. i still love her.. but i cannot take it that my life will just pass without ever tasting her lips.. i dont hate her.. i hate life.. i want to die
"what is my love conditional upon?" excellent question.
life changing knowledge teal.... thank you so much
You cannot hate unless you know love first. To truly hate something, means you truly love something opposite.
well put Teal ! v nicely done, I will listen to this vid many times :-) ... there's lots of love in even creating these messages, there's lots of light in the wisedom gained and then re-shared (add more laughter to the mix where you can Teal.. love, light and _laughter_ ... laughter = self forgiveness = openness to the love and light shared..... but u knew that :-)
WOW!!!! Mind blown!! It brought so many revelations! Thank you Teal! That was awesome! :D
Eye opening
Thanks Teal.
Thanks for your help, this is amazing I´m glad that I found you!
yep kind of true i was rejected and mistreated then abandon by my father at 17 at 19 they try to fix what they have done but still what they did was destroy my owl life they told stuff on my back to anyone they have cross path and in the end i had to leave school because the mistreating of my father was beginning to be done by the owl town i lost friend, the teacher was treating me like a exception so that they could bullied me and now i am alone, i have a lake of thrusting myself and people always judge me for what i am not in short my life is HELL. but i still have hope for a better life with real people(trust worthy) and overcome my own hatred and forgive them so that i may put it in the past and look forward
and sorry about that i just felt like telling it to someone but like i say i am alone so i hope you people can understand that i felt like telling it to anyone
Jakob Robinson I hope the best for you!
Conditional Equation.
IF you... THEN I...
This seems obvious and true to me. Thank you.
I never knew the reality about having a child until I was given a kid to take care of for a while and gosh this child really activated my triggers. I was exhausted in less than 24h and it made me questions whether or not I should have children. Like everybody I was thinking of having children due to society expectations and I lived in a fantasy on how raising children would be but when I actually had a child to take care of I questioned myself almost immediately. I really like the child but taking care of her made me realize how unhealthy I am, I suffer from codependency which made me to be excessively nice to a point of being taken advantage of and because of this, when the child was being naughty I was unable to be assertive and just let the child be which I know is toxic because it gives permission to the child to whatever she wants. I now know that I am not fit yet to have children not until I heal from my codependency or hence I will just teach children that they are free to misbehave without any consequences. The funny part is, this child love me and sees me as her best buddy but the problem is I don't want to be seen as her buddy but more like a big sister but I know that if I don't change my behavior it will never happen
Thank you, Teal!! 💜
"Unconditional Love" - seems like an oxymoron. How can it be love if it is unconditional?
As a human-being, you have moral and ethics. If the person whom you believe you love ends up doing that you find immoral and repugnant, how can you love them?
How can you love them by sacrificing your own sense of moral identity. If someone loves you unconditionally, is there any incentive to love them back?
These people become at your mercy. And while that may sound romantic, it may not be the best for both people. Sometimes one needs to not love for the sake of love. Either state cannot be forced. But the state will change according to your values.
I wonder if Teal ever feels the way she describes perfectly about a parents; e.g hatred in that moment towards the child ...
I loved someone too much!! After like 7 months of trying to tell him that!! All the love I had for him washed away.... now I hate him so much if I see him face to face... I will to an animal and tears him apart!!
thanks for the information Teal :)
Teal, why are you so very convincing and convinced?Why would THAT change the course? WHY so much action?
I sense the changes you sense. Still there is some part of your work 'grief&agrresion' in certain years on your material. Which is impersonal, objective but in the same time very personal and momentary circumstancial. Now lately these months of spring/summer 2020 I can see some balance. More being :) isn't it?
When one is love ( being here in this eternal moment) then love , as being unconditional or conditional is irelevent because there is no separation in source. I love conditionally while under the illusion of duality.
As someone who has been a member of many love-hate relationships do appreciate Teal explaining how the dynamic operates.