The Hidden Truth About Dysfunctional Relationships - Teal Swan -

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  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 23 ก.ย. 2024
  • Completion Process Book
    www.amazon.com/...
    Referenced Videos
    I Can Have Me and I Can Have You Too
    • I Can Have Me and I Ca...
    How to Heal the Emotional Body
    • How To Heal The Emotio...
    Meet your Needs
    • Meet Your Needs! - Tea...
    How to Develop Healthy Boundaries
    • Personal Boundaries vs...
    How to Connect with Someone
    • The Connection Process...
    In this episode, Teal decodes dysfunctional relationships and explains what do to solve the patterns that cause them.
    Formula to break the dysfunctional pattern
    1.We have to realize and recognize the pattern of dysfunction in our relationships
    2.We have to become completely aware of what needs we are to trying to have met through this dysfunctional pattern
    3.Instead of meeting that need the way you normally would, through destruction find a way to meet that need in a different way that is constructive
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    If you are in a crisis or if you or any other person may be feeling suicidal or in danger the following resources can provide you with immediate help: thecompletionp...
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    Teal Swan is a revolutionary for personal transformation and is one of The Most Spiritually Influential Living People in the world. As a renowned author, speaker and social media star, she travels the world teaching self-development and teaching people how to transform their emotional, mental, physical and spiritual pain.
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    Website: www.tealswan.com
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    Beginning Song:
    Kuan Yin's Mantra (c) 2002 Lisa Thiel
    www.sacreddream.com IF YOU ARE HAVING THOUGHTS OF SUICIDE PLEASE IMMEDIATELY CONSULT A MENTAL HEALTH PRACTITIONER OR CALL SUICIDE PREVENTION HOTLINE 1-800-273-8255.
    Please note that I do not respond to posts from this site. Please promptly reach out to a mental health practitioner near you discuss treatment options. My teachings on the subject of suicide are meant to supplement your treatment with a mental health practitioner and should not be in lieu of such treatment. The information contained on this site is not intended or implied to be a substitute for such professional medical or mental health advice. Always seek the advice of your own licensed and qualified medical and mental health professionals. The information provided in this site and in my videos should not be used for the diagnosis or treatment of any mental health condition. A licensed physician, psychologist, and/or mental health provider should be consulted for a diagnosis and treatment of any and all medical and mental health conditions. Please immediately call your physician, mental health professional or 911 for all emergencies.

ความคิดเห็น • 509

  • @tle6089
    @tle6089 5 ปีที่แล้ว +195

    I have to say, that after spending just two weeks listening to Teal's messages and working on my shadow self and fragmented pieces of my soul, I am doing well and feeling so much better. What helped me the most was to realize that the shadow part of me, as well as the devil, was not really an evil entity. Because I believed otherwise, I rejected a part of myself and labeled myself as evil. Teal Swan has shown me that the traditional views of evil versus good have been false, religious propaganda. To all who view her videos, please do not accept the negative comments made about her by so-called spiritual leaders. They are wrong. They put her down because her messages bring up their own fears and devils. Thank you so much, Teal Swan. You are an amazing young woman with a special gift to offer to the world. Blessings of healing to you dear, precious one. Many of us love you and appreciate you.

    • @memeful4
      @memeful4 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      U know, for those of us who have done "so much" painful, gruesome work (reminds me of "Saw"..) to unveil other "truths"/propaganda ect. we were all initially pre-programmed, we are the truly blessed. This is our reward: Peace. xxx

    • @TheRmpost
      @TheRmpost 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      I agree - great response.

    • @Thetruth32
      @Thetruth32 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      Love this for you 🤍

    • @Metaphyical0samak
      @Metaphyical0samak 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Thank You So Much. I never payed attention to the negative but reading this comment made me realize teal swan videos In a different way her videos shows us are shadow selfs and i always thought they were to make us aware of un aware things but to heal the shadow and doing the work is gonna take more then a day

    • @averykitsch
      @averykitsch ปีที่แล้ว +4

      I've been doing this for, well, awhile haha.. and I've developed as my own philosophy is to take a curious approach to everything, Teal has demonstrated that beautifully... one thing negative negating has across the board is a certain lack of curiosity. There is no pure truth without curiosity, that I know for certain

  • @skaiillman8129
    @skaiillman8129 8 ปีที่แล้ว +436

    Thank you, Teal. I know that your haters upset you. But there is so many people that adore you and need your teachings in order to grow. Thank you for healing the world. We love you. :)

    • @craz4jaymz
      @craz4jaymz 8 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    • @paareth
      @paareth 8 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      +Skaiste ociadabar Well if you think about it, as a large amount of the artificial reality is based on duality, you see a big negative reaction alongside any big positive reaction, (or just counter reactions if you want a more useful word). Outside of the internet, or ego, or self made prophecies, there is no counter reaction to Teal. There is just teal :D. Anyway enough waffling, if your creating a stir in life expect dual mediums to create a counter stir!

    • @whatnextsunshine3046
      @whatnextsunshine3046 8 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Wonderfully said. Totally agree.

    • @dthellland9738
      @dthellland9738 7 ปีที่แล้ว

      she totally flipped me off in her last video

    • @dthellland9738
      @dthellland9738 7 ปีที่แล้ว

      about what?

  • @sevenslotgrillful
    @sevenslotgrillful 7 ปีที่แล้ว +152

    I heal from watching Teal

  • @inthenebula92
    @inthenebula92 3 ปีที่แล้ว +16

    I wish I had found this years ago. I had developmental trauma and could not function well into my 20's. I went to therapy, and the therapists would give up; I tried different methods; nothing worked, and in fact it made everything 10x worse until I was unable to maintain any relationships. I reached a breaking point and said, "Either I get better, or I kill myself, because I can't live like this." Two years since, I'm so much better but have a long way to go. And I realized half the problem is exactly what's highlighted here: I was missing so many concepts and interpersonal skills, and was mentally and emotionally so delayed, that most of what the mental health profession recommends was pointless because they were tools I didn't know how use, and contained concepts I couldn't conceive. I've learned a lot of those skills and concepts on my own, but it still saddens me that therapists and psychologists, who are supposed to treat these things, just threw up their hands and gave up--and do the same to many others.

  • @randyandretti
    @randyandretti 8 ปีที่แล้ว +152

    Finally! Validating there are some needs that can't be met alone. Duh! I've been getting gas lit by spiritual/psychosocial teachings on this for the last 3 years. Done arguing my point which Teal so eloquently explained.

    • @zgwylie
      @zgwylie 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      same

    • @rebecca_stone
      @rebecca_stone 9 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Right! Seeing your comment 7yrs later. There's an obsessive overcorrection in the psychology field around these needs as well. I have been hurt far more by the hardcore "independent" people (avoidants in denial) who "loved" me, than I've ever been hurt by the "needy" people who actually loved me.

  • @luludunnejesus
    @luludunnejesus 8 ปีที่แล้ว +52

    i been studying spirituality for 9 years, and it all has helped me grow, but coming from a very dysfunctional family and so much rejection and loss, something always felt missing for me to heal fully, she is spot on with her shadow work, were most people who work towards enlightenment teaches us to always be positive but how can this be if there is so much shadow work that is subconsciously unhealed, people have negative things to say about Teal, but i dont think every teacher is for you, their is so many ways to becoming enlightened and not every spiritual teacher is going to match your needs, thats why it is important to get in touch with your inner self so you can understand if the teacher resonates with your spiritual journey..

    • @ii6032
      @ii6032 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      Spot on!:)😙

    • @MikkoMurmeli
      @MikkoMurmeli 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      Well we are connected, but also individuals. Your cells are individuals, yet they too are connected and work as one.
      So it is natural that different people resonate with different spiritual teachers. It is possible.

  • @Myrjam19
    @Myrjam19 8 ปีที่แล้ว +75

    it is unbelievable how great spiritual and psychological knowledge you have:-))

  • @bigfletch8
    @bigfletch8 8 ปีที่แล้ว +20

    Without such experiences, we wouldnt recognise the difference between self realization and "entanglement"...so the first step is to be grateful for everything you have experiences, and to the people who presented them to you. They "knew not what they were doing" to provide you with essential stepping stones.

  • @GrahamMilkdrop
    @GrahamMilkdrop 8 ปีที่แล้ว +42

    Nicely put. There's so much resistance to connection these days that any emotional reaction to interaction is labelled co-dependent. Having needs for intimacy, trust, stability and consistency is what makes us social beings... And if we weren't intended to be social at this stage in our development, then why waste time being a human being...? It makes no sense to deny ourselves a fully interactive human experience while we are human! Our interactions have the power to heal and the power to harm. To close off from allowing interactions to influence us is not the destination we are aiming for when we embark on a journey of spiritual investigation. To insist it is, is harmful. To withdraw connection, intimacy and stability as punishment or in the name of spiritual progress is severely destructive. Not just to individuals but to the potential for functionally nourishing communities. If people were trees... our lives should be forests, not an endless sea of stumps of severed connections we cut off from to remain independent. Each one of those had potential branches that we can never explore because we were sure we'd never need them...
    Even unhealthy relationships have potential to teach us something and come from a desire for healing, and there's an important variation on that theme which I think is worth a mention... That is when the need that is not being met is for faith and trust in that what you get is sometimes what you need regardless of what you think anyone else might think... and so rather than an unhealthy relationship, it is not unhealthy apart from the bit that is you and your desire to be unchanged and remain the same and appear independent and in control, by, pushing it away and (in a strange twist of logic,) doing exactly what you are told is 'right' by the consensus of the aspirational spiritual cliques you look up to, who say "separate and be unchanged" rather than "connect and be nourished" which would mean allowing your actual individual self to receive what it needs and letting your experience guide you because you have faith in it... __/\__ Namaste!

  • @pricyllarangel6855
    @pricyllarangel6855 5 ปีที่แล้ว +42

    I feel immensely loved by watching your videos. I feel like the fact that someone is taking the time by making videos to help others even if its a paid job but the fact that you chose to devote yourself to this and not a corporate mundane job. It feels extremely loving. I can pretend that you are my close friend and you made these videos specifically for me because you love me and I feel immensely grateful. If you change the perspective of "oh some youtuber making videos online as a job" and feel a sort of entitlement, you begin to see that love is out there. You don't have to be my close friend for me to feel loved by you and the universe. I hope I made sense.

    • @blueXrain
      @blueXrain ปีที่แล้ว +1

      I loved reading all this ❤😂

    • @SafrazKhan_FL
      @SafrazKhan_FL ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Well said, we are all connected with the entire universe 🎉❤

    • @jaylaw.7660
      @jaylaw.7660 ปีที่แล้ว

      💯💯💯😩

    • @sherrygonzales3434
      @sherrygonzales3434 10 หลายเดือนก่อน

      I am feeling incredibly alone right now in a dysfunctional relationship I can't leave at the moment and reading your comment cheered me up a bit because I can imagine myself doing exactly like you said imagining her as a friend calling me on the phone explaining this stuff to me. So what if I have not a soul to talk to about this and the stuff I'm going through. It's not the end of the world. I'll be strong enough to make friends soon. It could also be a lot worse. So see even your comment helped to cheer somebody too.

  • @ashitaka4444
    @ashitaka4444 4 ปีที่แล้ว +10

    9:20 there is no desire for the self to meet those needs.
    Spot on.
    I still feel the desire for someone else to come and rescue me. To lift me up out of my misery. And to love me unconditionally.
    I guess I never had that when I should've gotten it.

  • @Ellenweiss1
    @Ellenweiss1 8 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    Go Teal! It's so good to hear someone address the truth: We NEED each other. We are social beings....integrally connected. Also....just because you look like an adult doesn't practically mean you are one. Let's truly help each other to grow up. We can nurture each other and become healthy and happy. And we can also be autonomous when that is appropriate in accordance with our individual needs. Balance can be attained!

  • @sevenslotgrillful
    @sevenslotgrillful 3 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    There's a great qualitative measure to the content she presents time and time again. And over a span , the Teal Swan self-help videos ultimately train the mind to see reflection of the self in others as a default action in one's life-style. This I believe is the very foundation to commence the healing process from the pain-body. Just brilliant how influential this woman can be on a tribe of individuals .

  • @TheKSalahuddin
    @TheKSalahuddin 7 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    Simply "Thank You." You have helped me in so many ways that it has become Infinite. What is coming thru You is "God-Sent." Thank You for following Your path because had you not, so many people would not have received this "Beautiful Gift."

  • @Pincer88
    @Pincer88 8 ปีที่แล้ว +94

    I wonder, how can anyone learn a functional relationship, if all of society is focused on having, getting and accumulating superficial things (material) or behavioral attributes, rather than personal depth and development. Even our education is tailormade to become good employees and consumers, rather than autonomous human beings. And when relationships are more and more being treated as disposable, when not completely functional? On the same note: trauma is being perceived more and more as something that can be healed, only if the person suffering it wants it badly enough. Succes is being regarded as a choice. Doesn't that take some form of empowerment and autonomy in the first place? If all responsibility is with the individual itself, then what about the powerless? He/she who is not equipped with the faculties (or the financial means) to heal him/herself?

    • @KarinaLicursi
      @KarinaLicursi 8 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      +Pincer88 Solution. Treat yourself how you want others to treat you. Look in the mirror and smile and watch everyone smile with you! It works. ;)

    • @mjkittredge
      @mjkittredge 8 ปีที่แล้ว +15

      +Pincer88 I think some people overcome the societal indoctrination put upon us by family, school, the media & the state and seek out growth & depth on their own. If you don't, your spirit will call out to you in various ways letting you know that you're stagnating and not getting or doing anything worthwhile. There's always flighty, flakey people looking to jump ship to the next person as soon as things aren't going well in their current relationship. It's hard to see it coming ahead of time and you can't control other peoples behavior. You can succeed without empowerment or autonomy but it's a lot harder, requires more luck. If we look past what we are taught, it's easy to realize the collective success of everyone in society is everyones responsibility, summed up the African phrase Ubuntu - I can't be all I can be unless I help you be all you can be. When we embrace community we amplify our strengths and cover for our weaknesses. When we're disconnected we are exposed and limited. There are different ways to go about healing ones self - you may not ever get fully healed and have to learn to accept certain conditions

    • @fjasps
      @fjasps 7 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      +Pincer88 and +Padge Vounder make excellent educated, spiritual and humanistic points. Thank you both for your comments, they were both helpful and insightful to me. Keeping yourself grounded in the now may become imposible in the presense of stress or pain and it's important to seek help when past events still affect your present. Also integration with the community is important to keep a positive outlook and getting feedback and ideas to improve. Blessings.

    • @loverlei79
      @loverlei79 7 ปีที่แล้ว

      Pincer88 14:10

    • @Pincer88
      @Pincer88 7 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      James George well... that's an elaborate answer. Very helpfull indeed. Not simplistic at all. Thank jou kindly for sharing. 🤣

  • @pepegapapaya
    @pepegapapaya 8 ปีที่แล้ว +16

    I saw a swan today! and then I was like, let's see what teal swan has to say for me... and of course PERFECT synchronicity

  • @EllaesRuby
    @EllaesRuby 3 ปีที่แล้ว +12

    This brought me to tears. I had a traumatic experience at 3 months old and I’ve always known it’s affected me in a subconscious way. It makes perfect sense. This is me.

  • @tamaralynn9040
    @tamaralynn9040 3 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    Seriously, I hear this loud and clear. I’ve been trying to learn how to take care of myself for 5 years now after 20 yrs of a dysfunctional marriage…. And traumatic childhood all around. I’m 51 now. I feel like I’m failing miserably yet I’m living independently. I can’t let go of these ruminating thoughts of fantasies more or less. I feel like reaching for something, literally, every 30 mins but I have no idea what I want. I hyper focus on drawing to kill time… you can’t even imagine the thousands of drawings, paintings, and sculptures I’ve created. Im happy, healthier than I’ve ever been, I have absolutely NOTHING in my way……. Yet, I’m stuck here…. Wondering why I haven’t figured out which way to go. It’s a very odd place to be, mentally speaking.

    • @tmarie7303
      @tmarie7303 ปีที่แล้ว

      Felt every word, (except the art talent I don't possess at all 😁) but the stuck part, yeah completely. I hope a yr later you're unstuck! 🥰

  • @tedoymisojos
    @tedoymisojos 8 ปีที่แล้ว +25

    This makes me feel like Im screwed in many ways. I have many unmet needs and I just cant do anything to get them met that wont require big risk, trade-offs and pain. Its true. Im too afraid or confused as to how to go about things. I've been to various psyhologists and they have been very unskillful. I dont go beyond 10-15 visits because I start feeling very guilty about the money being spent on something that feels useless.

    • @dianedonofrio8724
      @dianedonofrio8724 8 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      +Liz Torres Hi Liz, I have been where you are, and thought it was impossible at one point, but hang in there...this method Teal is talking about really works, the method she talks about in this video is a method she demonstrates in another video titled, "Healing The Emotional Body"...Teal gives you a step by step demonstration of how to heal the unmet needs, one step at a time...by going through this method, its a good feeling to know that you have a path to meet those unmet needs deeply desiring to be met....

    • @tedoymisojos
      @tedoymisojos 8 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Ill check the video about healing the emotional body to see what you are talking about

    • @westcoastorbust2462
      @westcoastorbust2462 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      I’ve taken risks to get my needs met and only got rejected. I feel like I can’t win.

    • @MikkoMurmeli
      @MikkoMurmeli 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@westcoastorbust2462 Giving up can be a part of the process, but dont let it be the last stop. The more you resist something, the more you strengthen it kinda, in a painful way. So... dont resist the lack of things. I've read of the philosophy of Aikido years before watching Teal's videos, and they both have the same idea there. The path of least resistance.

    • @cristymakes6026
      @cristymakes6026 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      You cant escape the pain of risk or consequences. Thats part of human experience. The pain will make you or break you, but its better than living in fear.

  • @inthenebula92
    @inthenebula92 3 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    I've watched this a few times and it's one of my favourites. I've had a long history of dysfunctional relationships and I think it relates to this early trauma--apparently I never cried as a baby so I think my mother (who had two other young children) neglected me, albeit unintentionally. I find this video affirming and soothing because so often people with these issues face a lot of stigma when it's not our fault we ended up this way. You're so understanding and nonjudgemental about it, and I appreciate the reminder it's nothing more than a developmental delay.

  • @brightwithspirit
    @brightwithspirit 8 ปีที่แล้ว +29

    wow, major connection with this. this is my favorite video of yours. thank you.

  • @MarieBenard
    @MarieBenard 8 ปีที่แล้ว +11

    Thanks for the video, Teal. I've been exploring what Dr. Stan Tatkin calls "secure functioning" relationships in a "couple bubble." My life has progressed immensely because of being in a secure relationship, which took work and a LOT of boundary setting to create, as we both came in with our own wounds. It's been so worth it, though. Overall, we're both happier and more productive and independent / interdependent than ever before. Thanks also for the reminder to let ourselves off the hook for not knowing what secure relationships look like if we've never been exposed to one! Lots of love

  • @ikemoon127
    @ikemoon127 8 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I always wondered why I thought you were the mother I wished I had. All of the slander I heard about you did not weaken my trust in the work that you do, for I am living proof of its success, but it did make me feel ashamed of being dependent on your guidance. Now I see it was nothing to be ashamed of. Thank you so much for speaking yet again for truth to be heard. I look forward to meeting you :)

  • @deerinheadlights9784
    @deerinheadlights9784 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    I don’t understand how this video doesn’t have more views. Mind blowing ❤️

  • @businessfiles5497
    @businessfiles5497 8 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    Thi is my favorite video of yours too. I like your plain attire & background images. With ADD, this helps me focus on content much easier.

    • @nunya257
      @nunya257 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      I usually listen to her with my eyes closed or the screen down.

  • @erichalibertywoolley6129
    @erichalibertywoolley6129 5 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    I love you bless your heart for sharing this medicine with me. I found myself feeling angry hearing my dad tell !y brothers that they need to grow up and be successful by making lots of money. I realized I felt like I wasn't worthy of receiving love unless I was getting things done and being accomplished.
    So I went up to my dad and started crying, I told him that I ate 20 sweet potato pancakes but I actually needed to feel sweetness and warmth from them. My mom came up and hugged me. My dad kept defending himself so I said "dad im not attacking you, I'm not blaming you, I'm asking for your love. do you know how to be sweet?" He admitted that he didn't know how. And my heart softened. I asked him if he can just let me know that he loves me exactly as I am" and he told me that he does. I felt a huge release from my energy field. In spirituality, I have learned to try and be the source of my own support and love. But we are interconnected beings that need each other. It's healing to ask for our needs, especially when we didn't receive that when we were growing up.

  • @kalinabozhkova5655
    @kalinabozhkova5655 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    This sounds so true to me about the therapist being my first secure relationship
    Imagine I have to pay someone in order to have someone secure in my life 🤦🏻‍♀️
    Most other people and friends even if they really care and try to be there for me have their own traumas and usually just give advice and project their own things onto me

    • @Avafor544
      @Avafor544 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      You’re definitely not alone in that 🤟

  • @brynmagee8865
    @brynmagee8865 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Teal, Every time a show of yours' is watched I kick myself for how little I know!! Personally, I was separated at approximately 5 or 6 weeks from my mom. She had a thought disorder. But, I was raised in another family with 10 kids. How can I thank you for your sharing of experiences that enable me to understand so much? You are a mobile library that I do not want to go away!

  • @raysaspaniol
    @raysaspaniol 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Thank you for existing, you're awesome.

  • @DrWaadAminFitnessNutritionist
    @DrWaadAminFitnessNutritionist 4 ปีที่แล้ว +44

    I love you

  • @KevinBeal
    @KevinBeal 8 ปีที่แล้ว +12

    I was already familiar with all of these concepts, but this is the most clear and concise presentation on these ideas that I've seen. Very valuable! :)

  • @aaronhorak710
    @aaronhorak710 ปีที่แล้ว

    I can't imagine anybody who is supposed to be on a spiritual journey finding a reason to be negative toward you, don't they realize they are revealing just how mentally broken they are by their need to put you down? Deep respect for all you sacrifice, to heal and love us. Deep respect for your honesty and courage. You are certainly loved and needed!

  • @jessicaatkins8513
    @jessicaatkins8513 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    I also need to say that no matter what is said about you I believe you have love in your heart. You're touching a level NOONE has been able to before. Were conditioned to think something is too good to be true when in fact we turn our cheeks to something that is potentially beneficial. Theres so much trauma that needs to be addressed its debilitating. You portray yourself well and I KNOW it takes a PROFOUND level of understanding and strength to deliver on the regular.

  • @leelaurais2106
    @leelaurais2106 8 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Our culture makes a fetish of independence with unhappy consequences for so many. Thanks to Teal for having the insight to see through this mirage and the courage to challenge it. See the work of Harville Hendrix that complements what Teal is saying: Getting The Love You Want and the sequel Keeping The Love You Find.

  • @sahrasaharasaharaha
    @sahrasaharasaharaha 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    Ms Swan you just made my heart skip a beat. It’s like you’re showing me a mirror of myself and I can’t feel more related and anxious to what you’re saying.

  • @ericbray4286
    @ericbray4286 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    This explains why some modalities of therapy or spiritual development haven't worked for me. Somatic therapy is not currently very popular with insurance or providers in my area, so its a challenge to find. So I go swimming almost daily for a sense of security and love. In sexual relations most of my energy goes towards cuddling and touch, far more than any of my partners. Most of the time I just want to be held. So much of my trauma is about separation and adoption/abandonment. Often in mindfulness groups you hear the idea that if you simply sit with your feelings and accept them then you can grow, well, sometimes. This approach isn't always helpful in my case of developmental trauma and early childhood abandonment. I also see a lot of shaming and stigma towards developmental trauma in 12 step groups (incapable of being honest... those unfortunates...). The groups expect you to develop a bond of trust with others that is healthy and transparent but you may not have that skill set, so you are blamed for not being honest or being transparent or "willing", you are deemed hopeless and abandoned once again. The best thing about this video is it shows that its not my fault and that there is hope.

  • @lovingworldofneha
    @lovingworldofneha 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    I am so touched. Been in my healing journey for the past 4 years but this video's has changed my life. I seemed to have an insatiable need for being held. It's the biggest relief ever to know that independence is not the only answer. Thankyou so so so much Teal 💞🤗

  • @DeeplyBreathing
    @DeeplyBreathing 8 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Having experienced acute trauma at ages 3, 7, 8 and 14, I finally understand an aspect about the bubble I hadn't fully appreciated before, and it is inconceivable to me that the words thank you should suffice. So rare I hear insights and wisdom offered so bravely and concisely and directly.

  • @italianostalian0
    @italianostalian0 7 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    We have all this dysfunction having children since the introduction TV, movies and electronics to add to the parenting skills which are more and more lacking because of the separation this provides.
    Giving us more dysfunctional people.

  • @MissCutiePie20
    @MissCutiePie20 8 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    I am aware of the dysfunction in my family and other relationships. I feel like I have gotten used to it. I'm used to not having my needs be met by myself or anyone else.

    • @mjkittredge
      @mjkittredge 8 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      +AWESOMESHEWOLF it's hard to get out of the habit of not asserting your needs clearly to a partner. Being assertive is a skill. Takes time and practice to get good at

  • @karlenemacdonald6549
    @karlenemacdonald6549 8 ปีที่แล้ว

    The.....all your needs can only be met by yourself, concept, has never made sense to me, and ive felt guilty for thinking to the contrary. But listening to you about this, has made me realize that what ive felt in my heart about dysfunctional relationships, hasnt been 'bad', or 'wrong'. It all makes sense to me now. Thankyou so much, Teal.

  • @crisbrackett2067
    @crisbrackett2067 7 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    I recognize Sutro bathhouse in your background. totally appreciate your message. found you through infinite waters. thank you for being authentic

  • @solennes7626
    @solennes7626 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Made me cry, so there must be something there. I am eternally grateful for you Teal. Also thanks for the HOUND making a cameo lool.

  • @nancypatricia511
    @nancypatricia511 4 ปีที่แล้ว

    And so, if you cannot have autonomy and connection at the same time, you end up having to make a choice about how you are going to attach to your caregivers. You will dismiss connection in an environment of neglect or you will seek closeness in proximity when you are fearful that your autonomy will cause you to be abandoned, either becoming too independent or not independent at all. Fearing connection vs fearing autonomy. Thus the push-pull of the dysfunctional relationship.

  • @tads73
    @tads73 8 ปีที่แล้ว

    I spent way to many years in graduate school studying psychology. The most incredible thing to learn was how events (abuse, neglect abandonment) that took place prior to the formation of episodic memories, where the most important for personality development. The idea that such memories are stored in the body is interesting and one I've never considered. Since we are able to feel the world before we can cognitively understand the world, it plausible that prior to the development of episodic memory, our memory is in the form of feelings. Feelings are felt in the body. Thanks for the great insight.

  • @ZiondeCastro
    @ZiondeCastro 8 ปีที่แล้ว +36

    Just on time ❤ thank you angel

    • @ZiondeCastro
      @ZiondeCastro 8 ปีที่แล้ว

      +COOCooSycodelic MaleVEVO Hahaha I´d say a bit of both and possibly something else! You know how unique Teal is ♥

    • @ZiondeCastro
      @ZiondeCastro 8 ปีที่แล้ว

      ***** You are overthinking...All of that is just in your mind, but its no where near the reality. Assumptions make bad conclusions. Calm down, everything is fine.

    • @ZiondeCastro
      @ZiondeCastro 8 ปีที่แล้ว

      ***** I definitely understand...Everything is working in divine order my brother, everything is temporary and you will never be forgotten, you´re being taken care of ♥ Big hug your way, you´re doing really well :)

    • @ZiondeCastro
      @ZiondeCastro 8 ปีที่แล้ว

      ***** We are all in this together! :)

  • @ChristswayWarriorPrincess
    @ChristswayWarriorPrincess 7 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    TEAL you are such an inspiration... thus and a blessing to me in sooo many ways. Keep changing the world!! I want to be right there with you once I get to that point of awakening to myself. I'm grateful! 💚

  • @DosBear
    @DosBear 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    I can completely relate to much of this but would say the time of trauma was during the later teenage years and the transition to adulthood. Not having the proper guidance or realization of the importance of what to do career wise in order to even consider meeting those needs on my own or even what those needs would be was a major barrier to becoming fully independent. All I knew is that, at the age of 18, I was expected to suddenly do so on my own and I can say I was definitely not prepared properly to do so. Not having a Father for guidance certainly did not help & definitely did not make it easy for me to guide my own children either. History repeats itself & not for a lack of trying to do it properly. Another great share.

  • @ShirleyJones9
    @ShirleyJones9 8 ปีที่แล้ว

    Hi Teal, although I have just come across you work just now this is exactly what I believe as well and have been really leaned into the last four years. I have just completed my training as a Conscious Uncoupling coach, helping people find personal freedom after the pain of a breakup. I just want to say to the man who mentioned that you are in a new relationship after having had previous relationships that this is a non-constructive judgement of you and your journey in the world. The fact that you opened your heart to love and are so resilient in the face of so much trauma, that is what we all need to be focussing on here about you. I am the same way as well and I am very proud of the work I have done to connect with my self in the body. Consciousness is relational and you can all take that to the bank!

  • @lightsword1950
    @lightsword1950 8 ปีที่แล้ว

    I was afraid of relationships because of how I saw my father treats me and my mother but I saw worse with me and another girl. I was refusing myself happiness and love because of what happened to me everyone I thought was bad for me so God sent me pain but in a different way and it's like a wake up call to love my self and stop abusing it by running away from love or men in general. thank you your words are soothing and practical

  • @oliverrojas7117
    @oliverrojas7117 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    A lot terrain to cover when embarking on a journey of reinterpreting and reconstructing one’s sense of self, in relation to others and people in a community.

  • @nightstalker582003
    @nightstalker582003 8 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    This video is my sign from the universe/God/source. I was talking about this with a friend yesterday. She was telling about a slip and fall she had and that she would have hit a table had she not put her arm to brace herself for the fall. This made me say she was lucky since she could have knocked herself out or worse if she had actually hit the table. I said had it been me I would op for getting knocked out and getting amnesia because there's so much I want to forget about my pain due to being so emotional. She said that I shouldn't say that because all I've been through makes me who I am that I just need to do things and take care of me this time. That's when I actually admitted for once in my life that I don't know how to do take care of "Me". I've always been mostly a loner which makes no sense to me. I'm dependant of others yet I prefer to be on my own. I don't understand how that works out.

    • @yodhakei
      @yodhakei 6 ปีที่แล้ว

      this resonates with me. What's up with you in these two years?

    • @kimlarso
      @kimlarso 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      Ck out Teals Martyr/Self sacrifice

  • @SanthiratanMandyam
    @SanthiratanMandyam 8 ปีที่แล้ว

    I have always repeated felt bad that you have to take this life in the way you experienced. But the information you are spreading to the completely slumbered consciousness is a beautiful light. Let us all awaken to one.

  • @CATLAHBELLA
    @CATLAHBELLA 8 ปีที่แล้ว

    WOW, THAT WASN'T JUST FOOD FOR THOUGHT, IT WAS AN ENTIRE BUFFET FOR THOUGHT. THANK YOU. I WILL NOW HAVE TO DIGEST ALL YOU SAID, WATCH THE OTHER VIDEOS YOU SUGGESTED AND THEN BUY YOUR BOOK WHEN IT COMRS OUT.

  • @alisonc4669
    @alisonc4669 8 ปีที่แล้ว +10

    Brilliant as always!

  • @Lara_GuidingStar
    @Lara_GuidingStar 8 ปีที่แล้ว +17

    Teal this video is amazing.Thank you for sharing your wisdom ;)

  • @tanvijain1575
    @tanvijain1575 8 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    I wish I could get therapy sessions from Teal, I would pay anything in my capacity for those sessions.

  • @MichelleBernardfitness
    @MichelleBernardfitness 8 ปีที่แล้ว

    It's amazing how aware you are. I am in touch, too. I have much discernment. What you're teaching is so accurate, it has to polarize. But, know that those of us who need it are getting enriched. Thank you, Teal. Never stop your life mission.

  • @aundreaanderson5670
    @aundreaanderson5670 3 ปีที่แล้ว

    Best video on the internet that I have yet to watch. Hands down most helpful.

  • @jeroensimons7525
    @jeroensimons7525 8 ปีที่แล้ว

    Hate is inside, and haters project that from inside to outside...Sent them love..Its the only thing we can do...Thanks teal for all your giving to the world from inside!!

  • @stevensisk1092
    @stevensisk1092 4 ปีที่แล้ว

    I love your sign language too. It's very refreshing to see you using your psychic abilities to get your opinion on this matter out of the verbal sequence and into the body shop of language arts and sciences. You are truly a SCIENTIST OF HEALTHY LIVING AND WISDOM...

  • @p.schouten6597
    @p.schouten6597 8 ปีที่แล้ว +18

    There are many reasons for dysfunctional relationships. Being brought up in a marketing society that does not value psychological intimacy might be one.

    • @rcpilot4970
      @rcpilot4970 8 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Or having Celebrities and brainless sports players as Idols. As well as that, trying to learn is seen as uncool.

    • @rcpilot4970
      @rcpilot4970 8 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Well who said that her partners were parasitising off of her? From Teal's videos I gather that she is an Intelligent caring person, but what do we know of her personal life?

    • @joannasaadati8810
      @joannasaadati8810 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      But what makes some people have healthy relationships while others don't and both groups are in the same society?

  • @memeful4
    @memeful4 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    Yes exactly great ending. I've always fallen for good-looks and bodies, failing to recognise what really lies inside one's brain: their parents' way of thinking. No matter how distant they claim from their parents.
    And what's even more sad, is the greater they looks outside, one will almost certainly find the same degree, opposite from the inside.

  • @alaskawolves
    @alaskawolves 8 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    big synchronicity! thank you so much Teal and family. perfect timing. it was my fear to repeat a pattern of dysfunctional relationship and I am aware of it. now I will study this video so that I can heal from this. I'm so thankful in every way. 😊😊

  • @yisselbbb351
    @yisselbbb351 6 ปีที่แล้ว

    Teal your gifted by telling thruths that we are aware of and Not aware up , by telling the thruth you are healing..healing "us" even yourself. We defiantly can Learn from you that we needed to learn about ourselves. God bless you teal you are beautifully smart&wise in very authentic levels.

  • @luticia
    @luticia 8 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    Ohh I LOVE your sweater. It looks so beautiful on you.

  • @lyndalfaithholmes1279
    @lyndalfaithholmes1279 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    This is so incredible Teal. Thank you. X

  • @dev7615
    @dev7615 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Phew, thank you so much Teal. We really needed an expert, such as you, to come spell all this out for us.

  • @aflamewithintheflame
    @aflamewithintheflame 8 ปีที่แล้ว

    Love!!!! We are here to experience here!! yes we evolve, but right now be present with our hearts, that's where we are at in growth, never suppress the emotions, it's like saying no to a very valid lesson. I love you so much real teal! keeping it real!! love an contentment an clarity to all!!

  • @alexobekang5411
    @alexobekang5411 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I feel like l am learning every time l watch Teal sawn videos

  • @wildrabbit1314
    @wildrabbit1314 6 ปีที่แล้ว

    So refreshing to hear a guru talking like this. It seems most people believe the solution is for the whole world to become egocentric.

  • @rebecca_stone
    @rebecca_stone 9 หลายเดือนก่อน

    10:05 "We find the whole idea of meeting our own needs traumatising, because it is the mirror of the original trauma that we had." OMG I wish more people in the mental health profession / life coaches etc were educated on this. How many people are out there like me, who are told "you have to love yourself first" etc, when we have zero template for that, and this advice not only feels like death but that we're failures as well.
    I'm very grateful that TS mentions this is the origin of BPD. The one insightful psychiatrist who actually prompted my healing told me that not only did he believe I'd make a full recovery, but it would involve being in a relationship with someone who wouldn't abandon me. He was right, too, and I'm 3+yrs in remission. I'm now realising how 'radical' his perspective was!
    I feel like there's a massive overcorrection in society coming towards people who have attachment trauma of this type, where therapists are so overconcerned with the person not being "co-dependent" for having connection needs, that they push them towards a cliff essentially.

  • @stevensisk1092
    @stevensisk1092 4 ปีที่แล้ว

    TEAL! You're absolutely amazing. It's truly a blessing that a beautiful young woman of your age is capable of having so much wisdom and knowledge of so many things. I really believe that you are an ANGEL of LIGHT in a WORLD of DARKNESS ❤️

  • @cakimali5423
    @cakimali5423 8 ปีที่แล้ว

    OK Synchronisity time: My sister mentioned codependancy a week ago and a few days ago i started learning about codependency and watching videos "Narcissism" and the Teals interview with Ross Rosenberg. It made clear what i was coming to realise about my friendship with my best friend, and gave me the emotional safety to end the relationship when i saw it as a form of self love(or at least step in that direction). and then this video came up ^^ Love you Teal ;)

  • @nancycarvajal6332
    @nancycarvajal6332 6 ปีที่แล้ว

    You get it. You're guidance is in alignment with process of the world's healing

  • @KarinaLicursi
    @KarinaLicursi 8 ปีที่แล้ว

    The part after 17:30 made me cry, Teal. Of course growing up my mother worked overtime and when she was there it was for me to be her therapist. So I learned to only depend on myself and that to have people around when they are useful, which is horrible. It took a long time for me to come to terms with the fact that I have covert narcissistic tendencies and do things for me just so they like me. I'm learning that giving to someone without expectations doesn't have to make me feel like I'm giving myself with it.

  • @brookebeighle5976
    @brookebeighle5976 7 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Absolutely amazing. Spot on. Thank you so much, Teal, for your wisdom and insight. Namaste

  • @dontulloch5559
    @dontulloch5559 8 ปีที่แล้ว

    omg i have been watching the video on narcissism and codependency and trying to figure it all out and heres this video in PERFECT timing!!!!!!!

  • @OlympiaSophie
    @OlympiaSophie 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I enjoy your videos so much, and love how you break down "emotional" topics into a "logical" manner. Thanks again for another great video!

  • @sanny-nk9re
    @sanny-nk9re 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    This video is amazing Teal! A truth bomb

  • @leonidkillian
    @leonidkillian 8 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Wow! So relevant and perfectly articulated perception. Just when I needed to understand that, I just subscribed to your channel and I must say. You are right on topic, everyone needs to hear this. Thank you Teal, for sharing this.

  • @stevenos100
    @stevenos100 8 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    You are simply amazingly aware (like confuscious)

  • @FarEastUranus
    @FarEastUranus 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    13:15 Oh my God I started crying at this point, and soon it became a howling, baby howl...

  • @bafongue1
    @bafongue1 8 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    I'm so fucked up!!

  • @dougcollier5723
    @dougcollier5723 8 ปีที่แล้ว

    I like this video a lot, but it's pointing out dysfunctional life. It hits home. I grew up in chaos and ended up being attracted to it because I didn't know any better.

  • @Fulphilment
    @Fulphilment 8 ปีที่แล้ว +24

    Ayahuasca can help with this one too.

    • @maxcorrington3713
      @maxcorrington3713 8 ปีที่แล้ว +12

      Ayahuasca is highly intelligent. It knows what an individual needs that the person is not yet aware of. Its is "mother" nature.

    • @keyshajeffrey5685
      @keyshajeffrey5685 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Can i get it here in the u.s? Or in only in Peru?

  • @cmargo10
    @cmargo10 8 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    wow, this is really great stuff. I've never heard it explained this way. It makes so much sense. I can't wait to continue with your help. Thank You!

  • @susmateja
    @susmateja ปีที่แล้ว

    One of the best Teal videos! Great explanation! ❤️

  • @heidighekiere7588
    @heidighekiere7588 ปีที่แล้ว

    Thank you Tail 🙏 Usually your wise messages come at the exact right time!

  • @zahelava9540
    @zahelava9540 3 ปีที่แล้ว

    An excellent presentation of a complex issue. Poignant. My heart says yes!

  • @WXSTANG
    @WXSTANG 8 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    I agree about being an individual, and being self reliant and happy. But what about when there are lies, and infidelity due to independence behind closed doors? Isn't the point of being with someone to work together in life, as a single unit? If not, what is the point in being with someone?

    • @WXSTANG
      @WXSTANG 8 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      ***** Blind Faith is for fools when BOLD evidence points elsewhere. Last week I walked into my partners X boyfriends house and found her hiding in the bedroom closet. If that is a relationship any fool would want to endure, good for the fool to live under the bonnet of lies. Not even God tolerates that.

  • @jazminemooney4573
    @jazminemooney4573 6 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    My unmet need is consistency and routine.

  • @melly836
    @melly836 8 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    I would like to see a video going into more depth of how to prevent trauma as a parent with our children. I have so many questions through out the day as I interact with my 6 month old son.. I have trouble understand when I should meet his needs or when I should meet my own. I find we both need things at the same time. Also what should I do if my son bites me while breastfeeding.. Not too hard but he is testing it I think and I say ouch and he laughs.. I kind of think it's cute but I don't want him to bite harder.. Should I say no? And stop feeding him if he does that?

  • @TheZGALa
    @TheZGALa 7 ปีที่แล้ว

    I am so grateful to have run across your work again, at the perfect time for me. Thank you!

  • @manifestingmaren
    @manifestingmaren 8 ปีที่แล้ว +22

    teal my friend just lost her 3month old to SIDS please do a video on losing a child , would mean a great deal.
    ✌&💜

    • @MikkoMurmeli
      @MikkoMurmeli 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      I'm not sure, but Teal should already had done a video on grief, which is what I assume to happen when you lose a child. It hurts because you love the child, hold it as a part of you. I'm very much a novice in this, can't say more. Still trying to work through my old grief.

    • @joannasaadati8810
      @joannasaadati8810 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@MikkoMurmeli I think she means about why a child would be born and so quickly die.

  • @connymathews9389
    @connymathews9389 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    You are a beautiful and wise woman. Thank you 🙏🏾

  • @ac80577
    @ac80577 6 ปีที่แล้ว

    it is to say that our whole modern society functions according to this "enmeshed" paradigm: most companies, offices, workplaces etc. reproduce this dynamic.

  • @maria.1313
    @maria.1313 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Wow the depth and clarity of this is amazing! I resonate so deeply with the Mary example and I feel I've experienced a lot of developmental and individuation trauma. It makes me feel sad but also grateful that now I have clarity as to why I don't have a desire to do certain things, to meet certain needs. This feels like a lot will unpack from it. Thank you Teal! 🙏🤍

  • @FullMoonNewMoon
    @FullMoonNewMoon 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Your guidance is so appreciated

  • @andrewbehr5580
    @andrewbehr5580 8 ปีที่แล้ว

    Thank you Teal for all your wisdom. I am perpetually inspired by all of the connections that you make.