Thank you for making these videos Having a narc mother who uses culture and religion is a special kind of hell. My mom and both her parents were born in America. She basically had a typical American childhood despite her grandparents being immigrants from the Middle East. My moms parents and siblings are not religious or tied to culture. My mom specifically wanted to marry a man who immigrated from the country her grandparents are from….my dad who is religious and culturally strict. I thinks she sought it out for many reasons but she has used it as a tool to isolate me from anything outside of religion or culture. I don’t believe in her religion but pretend because I don’t want to be physically harmed. She used religion to keep me at home till I was married which was age 34 so she could basically use me for validation and whatever she wanted. I could go on and on but it’s not that I’m rebelling I see the toxicity and didn’t want to marry anyone tied to the culture or religion because I knew my life would be over. She was pissed when I married a Jewish man. She get like I did it to spite her. In order for me to be able to marry him he had to convert. I’m 40 now and still under the control of my family. I thought it would be better when I got married but no such luck. I have tried to establish boundaries but every time I do my mom rounds the whole family up to get me back in line. It is a feeling like my life isn’t my own and will never really be my own I was just born to serve my parents.
100% on point. Throw in the potential spiritual narcissism of the mother and what you’ve described becomes exponentially more oppressive and complicated. I’ve witnessed this with a friend from Mexico. All five sisters have had lives which centered around the malignant matriarch and the two brothers are the only ones who’ve individuated and achieved success outside of the family. Only one daughter will care for their mother now that she’s elderly because she is still the toxic individual that she’s been all her life. Lot’s of misery. And sadly the mother has alienated herself from her grandchildren as well.
I grew up in a very religious home. My Dad always had severe anger issues. Even as an adult I was always afraid to upset him or displease him. I knew that if I said anything "against him" that it would harm our relationship. I didn't realize what bondage I was in until he died and sadly I felt a tremendous amount of freedom. My relationship with him was always so important to me but it was so unhealthy. And not long after he died I began to understand how narcissistic my mom was. She always hid behind my dad, and no one could ever say anything to her or my dad would become irate. I cut contact with her about a year after my Dad died, and sadly have also felt a huge amount of freedom and relief. I know that I probably would have spent the rest of my life in bondage had my Dad not died. I hate that I never had the courage to speak up for myself, and I'm sad for all the other many adults who are in the same situation. It shouldn't have to be this way. Thank you for all of your amazing and encouraging content!! ❤❤
Thank you for making these videos Having a narc mother who uses culture and religion is a special kind of hell. My mom and both her parents were born in America. She basically had a typical American childhood despite her grandparents being immigrants from the Middle East. My moms parents and siblings are not religious or tied to culture. My mom specifically wanted to marry a man who immigrated from the country her grandparents are from….my dad who is religious and culturally strict. I thinks she sought it out for many reasons but she has used it as a tool to isolate me from anything outside of religion or culture. I don’t believe in her religion but pretend because I don’t want to be physically harmed. She used religion to keep me at home till I was married which was age 34 so she could basically use me for validation and whatever she wanted. I could go on and on but it’s not that I’m rebelling I see the toxicity and didn’t want to marry anyone tied to the culture or religion because I knew my life would be over. She was pissed when I married a Jewish man. She get like I did it to spite her. In order for me to be able to marry him he had to convert. I’m 40 now and still under the control of my family. I thought it would be better when I got married but no such luck. I have tried to establish boundaries but every time I do my mom rounds the whole family up to get me back in line. It is a feeling like my life isn’t my own and will never really be my own I was just born to serve my parents.
100% on point. Throw in the potential spiritual narcissism of the mother and what you’ve described becomes exponentially more oppressive and complicated. I’ve witnessed this with a friend from Mexico. All five sisters have had lives which centered around the malignant matriarch and the two brothers are the only ones who’ve individuated and achieved success outside of the family. Only one daughter will care for their mother now that she’s elderly because she is still the toxic individual that she’s been all her life. Lot’s of misery. And sadly the mother has alienated herself from her grandchildren as well.
I grew up in a very religious home. My Dad always had severe anger issues. Even as an adult I was always afraid to upset him or displease him. I knew that if I said anything "against him" that it would harm our relationship. I didn't realize what bondage I was in until he died and sadly I felt a tremendous amount of freedom. My relationship with him was always so important to me but it was so unhealthy. And not long after he died I began to understand how narcissistic my mom was. She always hid behind my dad, and no one could ever say anything to her or my dad would become irate. I cut contact with her about a year after my Dad died, and sadly have also felt a huge amount of freedom and relief.
I know that I probably would have spent the rest of my life in bondage had my Dad not died. I hate that I never had the courage to speak up for myself, and I'm sad for all the other many adults who are in the same situation. It shouldn't have to be this way.
Thank you for all of your amazing and encouraging content!! ❤❤