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Thank you so much Ruth ! This was so helpful and informative! Happy New Year to you and your family 🎉🙏🏽

My mother was jealous of my ability to have children. She only had me, and then lost both her fallopian tubes in ectopic pregnancies a year apart. She wanted a large family. I grew up and had three children. She was overcome with envy and actively worked to triangulate me from my children so that she could become their psychological mother. I’m no contact now. It took me 45 years to figure it out.

i’m trying to move out for grad school

My mom always tells me I always look like ish, and here she goes saying that she always has to be dressed up wherever she goes, she also tells me that she can't be around looking like a homeless person, so it's like she's trying to say I don't look good or something... another thing is when we are in line, she is somewhere far from me... is that being narcissistic?

No wonder every time she’s always against me no matter what because I’m not like that image in her head that sucks

Thank you for this. Was having a hard time especially during the holiday season.

What are ways to respond instead of reacting if your still in a toxic environment and fighting to get out? I get triggered easily! she caused me to have seizures, etc now im on meds for them. my narc mom is fake nice and is emotional/ financially abusive!

This is one of those videos to watch multiple times. Thank you for these tools! It is so easy to react and skip to self criticism and feeling crazy. Self regulation is key to protecting yourself from more narcissistic abuse because they are looking for reactions from people.

This was awesome Ruth! ❤ I got in halfway through but definitely going back to watching the whole thing - thank you so so much 🙏🏽

Thank you for this, especially useful during the holidays period. I often come to your channel and listen to you as a soothing measure from her narcissistic behavior. 🙏🏼💜

IT'S AN EPIDEMIC ⁉️🇺🇸💯

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THIS VIDEO!! 💓💓

What if your currently living with your mother and they ask you if your hungry etc or if you are gonna eat with them for the holidays? i say yeah , But that doesn't mean im cool with you! i keep LOW CONTACT WITH HER!

Yep 👍 it’s always about her.

Wow I truly feel this..thanksss for making this video!

I just started to realize how my mother uses me but she is really not interested me or my life.

Does this apply also to sons?

My Mom has always been jealous of me sane with a sister. They try and ridicule my looks ect. I think its crazy.

Narcissist mother will never change. Saying sorry is only another tactic of manipulation (saying this from personal painful experience) unless God himself will do something to shake them and make them realise how sick they are and how much damage they have done....

Boundaries truly do not exist with them!

So true

Narcissist do not apologize. If she's being nice- it's manipulation for something.

I made up rules to protect myself. What am I going to do if she does this or that. I was visiting weekly and she would say, we never see you anymore. So it became every two weeks. Same thing. So every month. Same thing. So I stretched it to a three-month break, because I just really needed it. She finally stopped saying it, which I didn’t expect.

It's not our job to make the narcissist comfortable. You are managing a crazy person. I am not interested.

“Vacuum” - wasn’t that the word you were looking for?😀 Thanks for your very helpful videos!🙏✨

Sometimes when i try to set boundaries she gets verbally aggressive and abusive, which causes me anxiety so sometimes i just stay quiet. I don't know how to deal with this without causing myself harm.

This was a very helpful video. Thank you for your advice. Congrats on your new home 😀

My mom turned me gay, I have met many women and most act like my mom, makes me wanna throw up, so I turned gay. Most men I've met treat me like a HUMAN BEING! My mom always have treated me like I was LESS than an animal!

This was soo Good Ruth !! Omg !! My mom just the other day was pretending that she was sick & asked if I could peel potatoes 🤦🏽‍♀️ I’m liked your not sick!! Yeah sick in the head !!

Wow I just found this video today. Puerto Rican gay male here my mother I love her but she has some traumas from childhood she took out on us and especially me (my dad had a drinking problem and left us financially troubled so she takes that resentment out on me a lot my older siblings are from her 1st marriage) she was really smothering and controlling and emotionally abusive and even physically at times and treated me like a servant a lot of the time and shamed me a lot for not knowing Spanish well and when I came out as gay she tried to send me to a therapist to "fix me" things have eased up a lot since I got older but man it really pissed me off when the family acts like this stuff didn't happen or that it wasn't a big deal I have so much depression and anxiety and emotional wounds and attachment trauma im trying to heal now its crazy im telling you a lot of the latino males get shit too

Realizing i hate myself because my mom hated me was really sad but healing

Thank you Ruth! im watching your videos on boundaries!💓💓

I recently went on my dream trip to Japan, which was my dream for over 20 years since I way a kid. And my mom after my return told me: "Arent you ashamed for yourself to give so much money for your trip?" It was my money I made at my job, where I worked my ass off for years. She couldn't take me doing something for me with my effort and being happy about it. I told her, it is not her business how I spent my money. But I almost cried after that, I hated her she ruined my life dream for me.

Grateful to you,Comadre for speaking on this.I went 100% no contact with my parents and Maternal grandparents this year bc their narcissistic behaviors became so abusive in nature..will continue unlearning and learning how to heal.💞😮‍💨🙏

Yes, I especially experience this when I hang out with MY DAD she says things like oh ppl are gonna talk or oh what are you doing hanging out with him are you two married etc. just disgusting comments I’m unsure how to adress it

This is how I know my mom is a narcissist because every time I say you need to heal or you need to go to therapy, or we should go , she says “ Don’t TELL ME I need to HEAL or NO!! So I choose to go on my own!!

Thank you Ruth! I needed to hear this 💯 I have been listening to a lot of videos and your right how can I heal if I’m constantly consuming so much content and not doing the work at times it does get frustrating when I’m currently constantly surrounded by toxic family members & Narc Mom and I’m taking steps that I need .

I’ve experienced this from my mother and grandmother. Both have very traumatic backgrounds and it’s been very tough to say the least.

Please help what do you do if your mom doesn't respond well to any of my healthy boundaries and threatens to not help me and kick me out of the apartment cuz I pay rent to her for where I live when she steals lies or starts problems with me and my sister or my children she never takes accountability and she always tells me it's because I'm too sensitive and my personality has gotten worse since I got sober she says I feel like that's gaslighting please help with some suggestions or feedback

Ive been fortunate to have a career that made a big impact. I built programs, services, teams & organizations for community and then went on to build facilities, including a hospital. My mom started volunteering after the hospital opened and when my peers and staff would complement me to her, she would run me down. Took others telling me to find out. When i got an award for being teacher of the year at a college my mom ignored it, deflected to her victim status, tried to make me miss the ceremony and later told me i needed to nominate her as business owner of the year for her at-home hairdressing business. Ps.. this is not negative to Hairdressers, im very thankful for mine and shes awesome, talented, kind, lovely. Just examples of never being good enough no matter how hard i worked and of what i now see as jealously. Wish i had understood what i was dealing with a long time ago.