Silly Pat thinks inorganic = clean. how naive. Every carbon based thing can accumulate debris, grease, mold or rot, even if the material itself isn't broken down. Not being able to feel would be awful anyway, even the concept of simulated feeling doesn't compare, as the human nervous system is quite complex and people are beings of Euclidean interaction. I don't care how obsessed with a preposterous sense of "clean" you are. Merely keeping the brain doesn't even mean immortality(Hell, you can even live without a brain, as pathetic an existence that would be.), the brain ages like anything else organic, and replacing the brain with some AI replica just makes you officially a mere ghost, not actually living, just an image of someone once alive to anyone who is still presently alive. Not to mention such an existence obligating you to be beholden to manufacturers to keep your artificial body functioning, who will never be as efficient as a real body tempering itself through good health, much less the dilemma of the required resources for a mere artificial imitation. Its also ironic that Pat thinks humans are so disgusting when he has a cat and even commented on the infestation of cat hair that he just accepted, and the recognized knowledge about cat dander(Which initiated all the things crazy cat ladies are associated with..).
@@zipzopzoobitty I imagine if you slowly replaced pieces of your brain with artificial ones your conciousness would remain, since that's already happening all the time naturally.
In one of the recent podcasts, Pat just talked a bunch of gross stuff, and when Woolie asked where he was going with it, Pat said "this is infinity revenge for the poop bag thing." Literally "Pat will remember that."
Yoshikage Pat just wants a Clean Life. ....THIS IS WHY PAT FEARS THE USER THAT CAN RESIST THE PANTS-CRAPPING STAND! OH MY GOD IT MAKES SO MUCH SENSE! HIS NEMESIS IS SO POWERFUL, YET WHAT COULD OVERCOME IT!
"I remember being younger than I am now..." Yes, Pat. I would imagine that anything you remember would feature you being further back in time than you are now.
Man if someone ran up to Pat at a con and kicked his colostomy bag and made it pop painting his entire side would he just instantly pass out or have a seizure. I hope he sees this and hates it
Pat would keep his colostomy bag attached to a pressure sensitive explosive device that would instantly kill him and his attacker in order to prevent that situation.
He would quite genuinely disintegrate out of sheer willpower and desire to escape the situation. He just dusts, eight seconds after he realizes what has happened. He looks at the source of the popping sound, looks at his stained hands, lets out a mournful howl the likes of which man must not know, and then his sheer digust, fear, panic, and rage causes him to disintegrate. As he fades into the wind, he lets out a smile; he is dust, now. He is dry.
Hearing newly made dad Pat talk about how disgusting babies are is kind of adorable. I want to know what he'd say about it now as I'm sure he would not change his mind, but that he would think more gently about his kid.
Everyone else terrified of the existential consequences of the singularity, meanwhile Pat is pushing people out of the way like: "LET ME IN! PUT MY FUCKING MIND INSIDE THE MACHINE RIGHT FUCKING NOW!!"
He's a Emperors children. He's been researching how to enhance his *DISGUSTING HUMAN FILTH RIDDEN BODY!* to become perfect... even though hes the most unperfect
Neurotic ppl: _"Eww, I could never work as a plumber or go down in a Sewer, I'd rather go Broke!"_ Also: _Let me strap this deep shag carpeting as close to a literal shit hole as possible that I'll touch with my bare hands every day"_
Forget the gaming and entertainment news, these tangents are the REAL reason we listen to this podcast. Never has the r/showerthoughts been realer than this.
I already prefer castle super beast over the old podcast. I love when they just go off and talk about random shit and not overly rely on the week, news, and emails format. I don’t mind the structure, but when they just go off on these random conversations and tirades it adds a lot to the podcasts. Don’t apologize for the tangents, they are easily one of the best parts about the podcast.
remember that time Pat woke up in the middle of the night to do the dishes Paige did earlier the day, because he wasn't sure if they were clean enough?
Pat says he he would trade his ability to feel or taste. But you know how many sci-fi stories there are of people who do that, that live to regret it and some beg for death.
The constant stream of Redbull is already killing his ability to taste, and Pat can actually almost not smell, so like 40% of the actual taste for him is gone already, since aroma is so important to taste right next to texture.
Pat is the human equivalent of that episode of Invader Zim where Zim finds out about germs covering everything and it drives him fucking insane to the point he starts wearing a fully synthetic meat-like substance suit made from napkins.
I find it so fascinating that Pat has such an extreme aversion to poop/bodily fluids yet he's said and done equally if not MORE disgusting stuff in the past
I assume that's just Woolie extending his arm out but it looks like he has a plain sized left side but a massively huge muscled right body. Kinda like a Baki character.
Pat lives in this strange quantum superposition in where he wants to live in essentially a void where no unsightly grime can exist while also not giving two fucks about spreading filth and grime everywhere.
In Dungeons and Dragons, the spell to make one not look like they shit themselves is a super-basic spell castable so long as Wizards have access to their spellbooks. It's called Prestidigitation. It lets you clean up your robes after shitting them and then you can cast it again to give yourself a nice clean scent of your own choosing. Alternatively, and this is horrifying, you can cast it on a person to dirty up their clothes with shitstains and even give it just the right, very specific shit smell that makes people worry as much as they are disgusted.
You know the only true solution is to just pee on the cover until it gets removed by the person who put it there. You cannot reason with these people, you can only make them learn from their mistakes. They will hate you for it, but it has to be done. It's not the solution we deserve, but one we need.
It's also less entropic. Less chance of a stray stream or being startled and having it go everywhere. Not to mention less chance of a rogue drop getting on your pants. I'm sorry guys but it is the superior form of pissing in every way EXCEPT in the occasion of bring in a public restroom. At that point all bets are off.
Little did Woolie know that by using this gross poo talk to double perfect pats anxiety, he would light a vengeful fire deep with deep within his co-host's heart. A vengeance that would realized through potato salad mold and dognut.
Anyone else get the feeling the Pat would super sell out the universe to Phyrexia just so he could have Elesh Norn turn him into one of those porcelain golems?
Proposal: avoid playing Nier Automata route C while listening to this episode's tangent about mortality, transhumanism, colostomy bags, the filth inside us, Earth's impending doom, and other depressing shit. Double Whammy of depression.
Never in all my 21 and a half years of life, have I EVER, had a problem with a toilet seat cover in the way that you two have described. And honestly that make me seriously concerned with the eerily low quality of the toilet seat covers that you’ve had in your lives.
now this is the type of content you select for a clip, so people can see and get on board of watching the Podcast :3 This went places, how did we get here?
These long and random tangents give me life, screw the news, give us 4 hours of Pat selling us the concept of discarding our humanity to clean the earth!
I think what Woolie was getting at is that a babys shit can be controlled somewhat by them using a diaper; containing the fecal matter within allowing for easy removal. As a baby grows up into toddler years, so comes the removal of diapers and piss and shit just seems to be everywhere. beds, on the toilet floor etc etc.
I feel like you could submit this clip to an international consortium containing a wide field of psychiatrists from different disciplines, and it would be studied for decades to come.
Having any type of carpet or upholstery in a bathroom makes no sense as fabrics are harder to clean. It’s the same reason you want a tile or linoleum floor, in addition to those being waterproof
While the colostomy bag is a target, it is also a weapon. Working as a guard, there is a homeless man the cops really do not want to deal with because his move against the cops is to pop the bag in their back seat.
Colostomy bag isn't the exchange you describe man. My mum had an ileostomy bag, and there's a couple things. One, you have to change the bag every couple days, and then you are looking at the shit on your belly and wiping it up. Then there's the fact that your rectum still produces things which normally aid in excreting poop, but there's no poop. So sometimes stuff will just start coming out of your ass anyway. It's no good. Plus the bag will leak or come away every so often. It's hell
"I REJECT MY HUMANITY WOOLIE," yelled Pat as he hit the button to upload his conscience into a toilet.
"I reject my humanity!" shouted Pat, wearing a shirt that says "SUNLIGHT 4 LYFE!" with Gwyn throwing up gang signs.
Silly Pat thinks inorganic = clean. how naive. Every carbon based thing can accumulate debris, grease, mold or rot, even if the material itself isn't broken down. Not being able to feel would be awful anyway, even the concept of simulated feeling doesn't compare, as the human nervous system is quite complex and people are beings of Euclidean interaction. I don't care how obsessed with a preposterous sense of "clean" you are.
Merely keeping the brain doesn't even mean immortality(Hell, you can even live without a brain, as pathetic an existence that would be.), the brain ages like anything else organic, and replacing the brain with some AI replica just makes you officially a mere ghost, not actually living, just an image of someone once alive to anyone who is still presently alive.
Not to mention such an existence obligating you to be beholden to manufacturers to keep your artificial body functioning, who will never be as efficient as a real body tempering itself through good health, much less the dilemma of the required resources for a mere artificial imitation.
Its also ironic that Pat thinks humans are so disgusting when he has a cat and even commented on the infestation of cat hair that he just accepted, and the recognized knowledge about cat dander(Which initiated all the things crazy cat ladies are associated with..).
@@zipzopzoobitty Pat thinks he's going to be like Adam Jensen. When he's actually going to be one of those poor saps on neuroprozine.
"Me too!" As woolie sells humans of a certain skin color to evil eldritch Gods for a temporary jetpack that hovers 2 feet off the ground.
@@zipzopzoobitty I imagine if you slowly replaced pieces of your brain with artificial ones your conciousness would remain, since that's already happening all the time naturally.
>ginger
>balding
>wearing red
>fixated on Sonic
>disgusted by all natural, non-robot life
Are we sure Pat isn't just a real life Robotnik?
@chris campbell He seems to have more nostalgic memories of Sonic compared to most things
We need some images of that.
And woolie is a black dreadlock echidna
He also recently got a Gamer Cube
Literal Eggman
The real lie is him saying he has the little stool for better poops and not so that he could actually reach the toilet.
bro im 6'1, the little stool is ideal
Im glad someone said it.
Pat, having shaved off all of his hair, wallowing in a pool of hand sanitizer: I just want to be pure
How dare you have spoken this into existence
Believe me I'm not happy about it either
I'm now convinced that if Pat took one wrong step in life he would be a serial killer.
Patrick Loureiro lol
He just wants to live a quiet life.
Murder sounds too interactive and messy for him.
P W the worst case scenario would be Dexter.
Damn you must be new around these parts. Lol
If Pat actually became a brain in a jar he would probably complain about the preservatives conjealing around the corners of the glass...
ngl that sounds like the worst lmaoo
if Pat had a colostomy bag then his fear of random strangers stabbing him with needles would be doubled
11:46 Patrick's resolve is tested...
Stress go *UP!*
Humanity go DOWN!
*P A R A N O I D*
In one of the recent podcasts, Pat just talked a bunch of gross stuff, and when Woolie asked where he was going with it, Pat said "this is infinity revenge for the poop bag thing."
Literally "Pat will remember that."
Oh its about to be more than just tested.
Yoshikage Pat just wants a Clean Life.
....THIS IS WHY PAT FEARS THE USER THAT CAN RESIST THE PANTS-CRAPPING STAND! OH MY GOD IT MAKES SO MUCH SENSE! HIS NEMESIS IS SO POWERFUL, YET WHAT COULD OVERCOME IT!
Pat wants a clean life but constantly spills sweet drinks on himself, truly a complex villain.
I still say brainfreeze stand is stronger
"You have already shit yourself."
Crazytalk requiem makes you afraid of pooping yourself.
To overcome it you have to poop yourself before you walk into the fight arena
Now I'm just cracking up at the image of Pat Birkin with his big glowing colostomy eyeball on his shoulder.
"I remember being younger than I am now..."
Yes, Pat. I would imagine that anything you remember would feature you being further back in time than you are now.
This is what happens when Woolie and Pat is unchained without limiters.
Best timeline.
LiMatter
Man if someone ran up to Pat at a con and kicked his colostomy bag and made it pop painting his entire side would he just instantly pass out or have a seizure.
I hope he sees this and hates it
Pat would keep his colostomy bag attached to a pressure sensitive explosive device that would instantly kill him and his attacker in order to prevent that situation.
@@tychoazrephet3794 that's Crazy Talk remote stand, Pat colonoscopy bag is called Shit Heart Attack
That would never happen, let’s be real If he ever got a colostomy bag he would probably never leave his house again out of fear
He would quite genuinely disintegrate out of sheer willpower and desire to escape the situation. He just dusts, eight seconds after he realizes what has happened. He looks at the source of the popping sound, looks at his stained hands, lets out a mournful howl the likes of which man must not know, and then his sheer digust, fear, panic, and rage causes him to disintegrate. As he fades into the wind, he lets out a smile; he is dust, now. He is dry.
This thread is the most beautiful thing I’ve read
As an uncircumcised man, sometimes it just goes out at 90 degrees.
When you are a kid, you pee on every direction except forward
You cant be uncircumcised because the earth is flat...
@@darrianweathington1923 if earth is round then why is my dick straight? Take that, ATHEISTS.
my circumcision was botched and same
I hate how much I understand this comment
I was not expecting the video to be as literal as the title.
What a great beginning for the podcast
Hearing newly made dad Pat talk about how disgusting babies are is kind of adorable. I want to know what he'd say about it now as I'm sure he would not change his mind, but that he would think more gently about his kid.
"NO ONE WANTED THAT, JK! WHAT THE F?!"
Sums up her career pretty well.
Pat shall transcend the weakness of flesh.
Everyone else terrified of the existential consequences of the singularity, meanwhile Pat is pushing people out of the way like: "LET ME IN! PUT MY FUCKING MIND INSIDE THE MACHINE RIGHT FUCKING NOW!!"
He's a Emperors children. He's been researching how to enhance his *DISGUSTING HUMAN FILTH RIDDEN BODY!* to become perfect... even though hes the most unperfect
Pat is a Techpriest?
@@PwnageofNoobs Yes. Or at least he wants to be.
Those damn toilet cozy things are legit the worst. The WORST!
Neurotic ppl: _"Eww, I could never work as a plumber or go down in a Sewer, I'd rather go Broke!"_
Also: _Let me strap this deep shag carpeting as close to a literal shit hole as possible that I'll touch with my bare hands every day"_
That should’ve been the real name of this podcast
"Would you sacrifice..."
'Yes.'
If Pat gets a Behelit, it's all over.
I'm pretty sure a lot of this crosses over into sociopathy.
Forget the gaming and entertainment news, these tangents are the REAL reason we listen to this podcast. Never has the r/showerthoughts been realer than this.
You know, there's a very big gap between Pat's desire to be pure of human filth and his desire to live forever as a receptacle of human filth.
I already prefer castle super beast over the old podcast. I love when they just go off and talk about random shit and not overly rely on the week, news, and emails format. I don’t mind the structure, but when they just go off on these random conversations and tirades it adds a lot to the podcasts. Don’t apologize for the tangents, they are easily one of the best parts about the podcast.
💯
PAT WANTS TO BE CLEAN
SO CLEAN
but leave the earth covered in filth
@@markymo1115 Fuck it, it's probably just gonna get nuked anyway.
remember that time Pat woke up in the middle of the night to do the dishes Paige did earlier the day, because he wasn't sure if they were clean enough?
@@danherondraws or that time he admitted to using a full roll of paper towels to clean one spill instead of using individual squares
Pat longs to live in the future episode of SpongeBob. EVERYTHING IS CHROME IN THE FUTURE!
8:42. Quote this immediately.
Pat would have been perfect as the voice of AM from I Have No Mouth and I Must Scream.
Tycho Azrephet
He could basically predict and sympathize with AM during the playthrough
Pat says he he would trade his ability to feel or taste. But you know how many sci-fi stories there are of people who do that, that live to regret it and some beg for death.
Yeah, but Pat is not "people", this should be clear by now
That's a great point considering how often he sneaks candy past paige
How does that work, I wonder. Does everything just taste like water?
The constant stream of Redbull is already killing his ability to taste, and Pat can actually almost not smell, so like 40% of the actual taste for him is gone already, since aroma is so important to taste right next to texture.
Pat just wants to be Baldur
Proof_That_Pat_is_Weird_1268725.mp4
"Woolie's Colostomy Services: Sending your feces to the 5th dimension since 2019".
The fluids
-pats worst nightmare
*Pat looking at a 3000 year old dehydrated mummy* you lucky fuck.
Man, I love taking these podcasts out of context and hearing Pat sound like a skinhead uncle
You're telling me he isn't?
Wait until he loses more hair. Eggmode engage =D
He is...
@@LuminousLead Northernlion beware, the ginger egg comes for your chrome dome throne.
"DAHLINGTON!"
12:15 oh my god I didn't realise this was the Z-target colostomy bag convo, I got this far in without realising 😂😂
Funny how pat, now a parent, is say that infant poop doesnt feel like poop
1 minute in and I knew this would be a podcast of the highest quality.
Woolie's laugh is the eighth wonder of the world.
Pat's body horror is the ninth.
Woolie is correct about the baby's first poop has no smell and is a gray mass
Pat is the human equivalent of that episode of Invader Zim where Zim finds out about germs covering everything and it drives him fucking insane to the point he starts wearing a fully synthetic meat-like substance suit made from napkins.
I told myself I wasn't going to click on this today. You guys are the worst. I love you so much.
I find it so fascinating that Pat has such an extreme aversion to poop/bodily fluids yet he's said and done equally if not MORE disgusting stuff in the past
I assume that's just Woolie extending his arm out but it looks like he has a plain sized left side but a massively huge muscled right body. Kinda like a Baki character.
It's incredible how much more energy was in this podcast pre-Covid.
No Woolie, you're not wrong. Pat is the crazy person.
I pee sitting down but lazy
Pat lives in this strange quantum superposition in where he wants to live in essentially a void where no unsightly grime can exist while also not giving two fucks about spreading filth and grime everywhere.
After hearing that pie situation with his mother and how she seems to be OCD, I feel like the root of Pats problems have been identified.
In Dungeons and Dragons, the spell to make one not look like they shit themselves is a super-basic spell castable so long as Wizards have access to their spellbooks.
It's called Prestidigitation. It lets you clean up your robes after shitting them and then you can cast it again to give yourself a nice clean scent of your own choosing.
Alternatively, and this is horrifying, you can cast it on a person to dirty up their clothes with shitstains and even give it just the right, very specific shit smell that makes people worry as much as they are disgusted.
................Oh my god that's amazing.
8:06 the moment woolie realized this had gone to far but had no way to stop it
too
I think we should be worried. Pat says he pees at 90 degrees
16:57 the cleanest character I can think of would be Mokoto kunsinagi, fully robotic body with only the brain as far as I know
7:34 Woolie's face when Pat talks about ejaculation.
Not a picture any of us needed, and I'm sure a vision of it flashed before Woolie's eyes and he momentarily lost his sight.
We talking about Pat "I dont mind being a toilet if I can live forever" Boivin here, so nothing surprises me anymore.
You know the only true solution is to just pee on the cover until it gets removed by the person who put it there. You cannot reason with these people, you can only make them learn from their mistakes. They will hate you for it, but it has to be done. It's not the solution we deserve, but one we need.
Pat just wants to cleanse the world of the filth that is humanity
"Sometimes that shit goes 90 degrees" "AND THEN YOU'RE PISSING ON YOUR WALL!"
"When I look at the moon, I see a perfect society" - Pat Boivin
Turn A Gundam
Girl here, I too hate toilet upholstery. It forces me to hunch like an animal. It just isn't made for people.
Whats wrong with sitting down to piss? you can lean back, relax and not have to worry about dropping your phone into the toilet
I hate feeling like I'm going to hit the underside of the seat, also when it's a little toilet I feel like my pelvis is going to break in two.
It's also less entropic. Less chance of a stray stream or being startled and having it go everywhere. Not to mention less chance of a rogue drop getting on your pants. I'm sorry guys but it is the superior form of pissing in every way EXCEPT in the occasion of bring in a public restroom. At that point all bets are off.
The absolute fear of touching the inside of the bowl, and god forbid a PUBLIC bowl!
@@Valanway FAIR ENOUGH!
The only good reason I see is "It takes longer". I don't get the dick touching thing, I guess my toilet is too top tier.
This might be my favorite segment yet. Keep up the good work boys
I looked at my woman through the windows of her soul and I said, I said *nervously looks around* I said "biiiiiiitch".
Woolie has no mercy at all. He's dealing all kinds of mental damage right now.
Little did Woolie know that by using this gross poo talk to double perfect pats anxiety, he would light a vengeful fire deep with deep within his co-host's heart. A vengeance that would realized through potato salad mold and dognut.
Anyone else get the feeling the Pat would super sell out the universe to Phyrexia just so he could have Elesh Norn turn him into one of those porcelain golems?
If the toilet bothers Pat so much, why not just wear a diaper? There is a shop in Canada that makes great quality ones.
A diaper is even worse! With a diaper your crap and piss is grinding against your junk!
He already disgusted by his own body producing crap! He'll die from shock and rage from having literal shit scrunching underneath there.
But Pat, Jensen still has motor oil and lubricant in his body. You're just replacing weird body fluids with weird, less familiar body fluids.
How in the world is Pat HK-47 swaddled in flesh? What timeline is this? Man would join an AI uprising in a SECOND.
The amount of times pat has told stories to gross woolie out in revenge of this segment make me feel like this was pats origin story
Proposal: avoid playing Nier Automata route C while listening to this episode's tangent about mortality, transhumanism, colostomy bags, the filth inside us, Earth's impending doom, and other depressing shit.
Double Whammy of depression.
Never in all my 21 and a half years of life, have I EVER, had a problem with a toilet seat cover in the way that you two have described. And honestly that make me seriously concerned with the eerily low quality of the toilet seat covers that you’ve had in your lives.
now this is the type of content you select for a clip, so people can see and get on board of watching the Podcast :3
This went places, how did we get here?
I think its about time I got around to this one.
ay it was a real good one too
I always thought of Pat as the crazy guy and Woolie as the voice of reason...but now...my eyes are open.
These long and random tangents give me life, screw the news, give us 4 hours of Pat selling us the concept of discarding our humanity to clean the earth!
I think what Woolie was getting at is that a babys shit can be controlled somewhat by them using a diaper; containing the fecal matter within allowing for easy removal. As a baby grows up into toddler years, so comes the removal of diapers and piss and shit just seems to be everywhere. beds, on the toilet floor etc etc.
SO THAT IS HOW THE PISS ON THE WALL HAPPENED PAT YOU OWE PAIGE AN EXPLANATION!
I wonder what Pat's obsession with cleaning and disgust with fluids puts him in regards to bidets.
I'm with Pat on this one, after any kind of ejaculate is passed you might as well be pissing sideways.
As someone who has a physical disability I can 100% confirm pissing sitting down fucking sucks.
Ah Pat, the supervillain that will drown the world in a flood of chlorine.
With his eternal life Pat will see this world through to its end. Until everything that grosses him out is gone.
Fuck i missed so many of these fuckin podcasts when i was trapped in the jungles of siberia
Don't forget that Pat holds the toilet paper while pissing.
what the actual fuck type of toilets did you used to have growing up that didn't have seats that just stood up when you lifted them
this one proves that i am more of a Pat than I initially thought
being an android would be sick and humans are fucking disgusting
I am 100% with pat on everything he said, insanity isn't that bad if I also get my stand
I have urinary tact problems. I could literally not sit down to pee as weird as it may sound
Pat is danny devito in the IASIP quarantine episode
Of course, Pat was Dr Klein all along.
Scatcast is now.
19:15 Pat’s disbelief🤣
I feel like you could submit this clip to an international consortium containing a wide field of psychiatrists from different disciplines, and it would be studied for decades to come.
Pat is Louis CK 8:47
Having any type of carpet or upholstery in a bathroom makes no sense as fabrics are harder to clean. It’s the same reason you want a tile or linoleum floor, in addition to those being waterproof
Expeliarmus the colostomy bag for maximum damage
I thought I was the only fucking person to experience this.
While the colostomy bag is a target, it is also a weapon. Working as a guard, there is a homeless man the cops really do not want to deal with because his move against the cops is to pop the bag in their back seat.
Orphan of Kos?!?
It’s hard to say we have dignity when we come into the world as orgasms
Colostomy bag isn't the exchange you describe man. My mum had an ileostomy bag, and there's a couple things. One, you have to change the bag every couple days, and then you are looking at the shit on your belly and wiping it up. Then there's the fact that your rectum still produces things which normally aid in excreting poop, but there's no poop. So sometimes stuff will just start coming out of your ass anyway. It's no good. Plus the bag will leak or come away every so often. It's hell