Hi Jeremy. I'm in South Africa. I recently searched Spotify for something helpful when I was (as usual) feeling really down. Somehow you popped up and I cannot tell me what a gift it was that day. You have done exactly what you set out to do, combining your background in psychology and your own life experience. I identify with you so perfectly and you have given me so much peace. I love your frankness and your humour. Thanks for going through everything you did to be able to bring all you do into our lives. Thank you so much Jeremy.
Hi Jane! Thanks so much for your wonderful message, I’m very happy to hear that you’ve been enjoying my content and finding it helpful! What a kind message and it’s going straight into the ‘Nice Feedback’ folder that I keep on my phone in case I’m ever in need of a reminder why I do what I do, so thanks for putting a big smile on my face this morning and greetings in South Africa, I hope you have a fantastic week! All the best 😃😃😃
It can be difficult to have a serious conversation with family, especially when they have strong personalities or tend to dominate the discussion. Setting boundaries isn't easy, and you might face resistance or get told that they know better and you should listen to them. They might not accept their own mistakes and instead shift the blame onto you. One solution is to act like them until they recognize their own faults, because sometimes excessive kindness can lead to more trouble.
Respectfully, I disagree. Yes it is tough to set boundaries, and yes you're likely to face resistance... but that's precisely why boundaries are necessary, and why we need to be prepared for some short-term pain to achieve long-term gain. I will also say that acting like the person is acting will likely cause a wide range of issues; ultimately, two wrongs don't make a right, and a lot of people aren't able to see their own behaviour and/or how it affects others, which is where direct communication comes in. I totally understand where you're coming from, however I just encourage you to be aware that avoiding tough conversations tends to lead to more issues than it solves. All the best! Jeremy 😃
I totally agree on your statement here. I am in a similar situation as yours. Whenever I want to talk about mental health its "no, YOU HAVE TO SHUT UP", type way at home with my mom and my older brother. I spoke recently to a local manager here in NZ at our local pharmacy about my older brother's medication (Olanzipine) and why his life has gotten worse has the years have gone by, and why in my conversation with my support worker, the manager said to me "We'll I don't know how to deal with your older brother's issues". This is telling me their are cracks showing at our local Pharmacy here in NZ, and why the manager does not want to claim responsibility why my older brothers' medication has made life for himself and for our family this year. Just wondering, has anyone on this channel, been given any psychotic medication, and made life worse for maybe yourself or your loved ones. There is much evidence now that Psychotic meds can damage the Brain in the long term. Matt TH-cam search Peter Breggin, Psychotic drugs are more dangerous than you think.
What am learning, be kindness can lead to be walked to when you real need help or compassion to very bad issue one have to face. lt all depends what state others are in. of its wrong time, walk away and look for person who real can understand where you are. The question l ask myself, are they right people to when am almost rock bottom state. l learnt too, dont let people judge you or tell you what to shpuld do. As some control people feed to it while they could not be same values as you. True, kindness and compassion are needed on delicate issues otherwise walk away.
The realisation is a healthy thing! Now you get to do the work to process through it and identify how to heal. Take things one step at a time, one day at a time, and remember to make your mental health your top priority (because nobody can or will look after it for you!). Wishing you all the very best with everything. Jeremy 🙂
Unfortunately people tend to put their own needs and agendas first and foremost... so they may not be ready or able to hear that. All you can do is take them where they're at now, be clear about expressing your needs/issues, and then set and maintain very clear boundaries. It's that last bit that is the most challenging (and potentially painful) because it often means having to distance yourself emotionally... but if you give someone multiple opportunities to show you respect and they still don't, you need to be the one to show yourself respect.
I can’t stand my Mom and Grandparents sometimes even siblings have something to say about my choices which causes me to talk bad about them and become rebellious
It's understandable to find it difficult to deal with family members who don't agree with your choices, but I'm going to challenge you and say that you're responsible for your own words and actions so blaming them for the way you talk about them, or become rebellious, isn't particularly helpful. You get to decide what you do and don't do, and since you can't control what other people say or do the only real choice is to choose to let go of their judgements and be the best version of yourself you can be. That's how you'll find peace of mind.
Fair call - I think many of us do if we're honest. But as I said in my reply to your other comment, all you can control is yourself and what you choose to do and say... so you're just going to end up tormenting yourself if you don't learn how to let it go. There are 8 billion of us on this planet and we're all unique, and so part of growing as an individual is learning to accept that we all have unique points of views (and that means there's no right or wrong way to be human). I know it's painful when it's family who you don't see eye-to-eye with, but that should never stop you from being your authentic self. All the best 🙂
Hi Jeremy. I'm in South Africa. I recently searched Spotify for something helpful when I was (as usual) feeling really down. Somehow you popped up and I cannot tell me what a gift it was that day. You have done exactly what you set out to do, combining your background in psychology and your own life experience. I identify with you so perfectly and you have given me so much peace. I love your frankness and your humour. Thanks for going through everything you did to be able to bring all you do into our lives. Thank you so much Jeremy.
Hi Jane! Thanks so much for your wonderful message, I’m very happy to hear that you’ve been enjoying my content and finding it helpful! What a kind message and it’s going straight into the ‘Nice Feedback’ folder that I keep on my phone in case I’m ever in need of a reminder why I do what I do, so thanks for putting a big smile on my face this morning and greetings in South Africa, I hope you have a fantastic week! All the best 😃😃😃
It can be difficult to have a serious conversation with family, especially when they have strong personalities or tend to dominate the discussion. Setting boundaries isn't easy, and you might face resistance or get told that they know better and you should listen to them. They might not accept their own mistakes and instead shift the blame onto you. One solution is to act like them until they recognize their own faults, because sometimes excessive kindness can lead to more trouble.
Respectfully, I disagree. Yes it is tough to set boundaries, and yes you're likely to face resistance... but that's precisely why boundaries are necessary, and why we need to be prepared for some short-term pain to achieve long-term gain. I will also say that acting like the person is acting will likely cause a wide range of issues; ultimately, two wrongs don't make a right, and a lot of people aren't able to see their own behaviour and/or how it affects others, which is where direct communication comes in. I totally understand where you're coming from, however I just encourage you to be aware that avoiding tough conversations tends to lead to more issues than it solves. All the best! Jeremy 😃
I totally agree on your statement here. I am in a similar situation as yours. Whenever I want to talk about mental health its "no, YOU HAVE TO SHUT UP", type way at home with my mom and my older brother. I spoke recently to a local manager here in NZ at our local pharmacy about my older brother's medication (Olanzipine) and why his life has gotten worse has the years have gone by, and why in my conversation with my support worker, the manager said to me "We'll I don't know how to deal with your older brother's issues". This is telling me their are cracks showing at our local Pharmacy here in NZ, and why the manager does not want to claim responsibility why my older brothers' medication has made life for himself and for our family this year.
Just wondering, has anyone on this channel, been given any psychotic medication, and made life worse for maybe yourself or your loved ones.
There is much evidence now that Psychotic meds can damage the Brain in the long term.
Matt
TH-cam search Peter Breggin, Psychotic drugs are more dangerous than you think.
What am learning, be kindness can lead to be walked to when you real need help or compassion to very bad issue one have to face. lt all depends what state others are in. of its wrong time, walk away and look for person who real can understand where you are. The question l ask myself, are they right people to when am almost rock bottom state. l learnt too, dont let people judge you or tell you what to shpuld do. As some control people feed to it while they could not be same values as you. True, kindness and compassion are needed on delicate issues otherwise walk away.
Just youtubed this for a problem in-law, realized I grew up in a dysfunctional home. No wonder why basic training a decade ago felt like home.
The realisation is a healthy thing! Now you get to do the work to process through it and identify how to heal. Take things one step at a time, one day at a time, and remember to make your mental health your top priority (because nobody can or will look after it for you!). Wishing you all the very best with everything. Jeremy 🙂
Thank you it learn me what to do
Glad I could help!
Am glad l found this when l do need it. Subscribe.
Glad to hear it!
Some of these family members ... they don't seem to care even when I've mentioned that they are causing me so much stress 😵💫 Here to learn from you 😊
Unfortunately people tend to put their own needs and agendas first and foremost... so they may not be ready or able to hear that. All you can do is take them where they're at now, be clear about expressing your needs/issues, and then set and maintain very clear boundaries. It's that last bit that is the most challenging (and potentially painful) because it often means having to distance yourself emotionally... but if you give someone multiple opportunities to show you respect and they still don't, you need to be the one to show yourself respect.
@@letstalkaboutmentalhealth thank you. 🙏🏾
I can’t stand my Mom and Grandparents sometimes even siblings have something to say about my choices which causes me to talk bad about them and become rebellious
It's understandable to find it difficult to deal with family members who don't agree with your choices, but I'm going to challenge you and say that you're responsible for your own words and actions so blaming them for the way you talk about them, or become rebellious, isn't particularly helpful. You get to decide what you do and don't do, and since you can't control what other people say or do the only real choice is to choose to let go of their judgements and be the best version of yourself you can be. That's how you'll find peace of mind.
I have a hard time being kind with those that don’t think the same way I do
Fair call - I think many of us do if we're honest. But as I said in my reply to your other comment, all you can control is yourself and what you choose to do and say... so you're just going to end up tormenting yourself if you don't learn how to let it go. There are 8 billion of us on this planet and we're all unique, and so part of growing as an individual is learning to accept that we all have unique points of views (and that means there's no right or wrong way to be human). I know it's painful when it's family who you don't see eye-to-eye with, but that should never stop you from being your authentic self. All the best 🙂