It’s definitely tough to process the pain caused by others. Sometimes, taking a step back and creating that distance is the healthiest choice for your well-being.
@@dianneatay8643 someone wrote that trying to recover from emotional and/or physical abuse while still in contact with the abuser "is like trying to blow dry your hair in a rainstorm."
He is absolutely correct. I was gone basically 30 years before I came back to live where I was born, reared, and grew up, and it was "the same old thing." I stayed for nearly 5 years before I had had enough and relocated back to where life was better in every sense: Tennessee.
That's such a truly poignant thing to read. Tragic, yet wonderful 🙂 I've felt moving away really is the solution (if it's right for you and I think deep down we ALL know what's right for us). It seems to be a matter of courage as well! Looks like you found that courage. WELL done (I'm still searching for that courage)....... perhaps one day.
Yea, Eckhart makes some very important points but he leaves out some practical realities. Meaning, yes you can take the test of being around them and be as presence; but to always be in an environment where you are being tested becomes very draining after a while. To have to be around someone who is toxic, ultimately is not healthy and very tiring. Better to spend time around people who you can be open and natural with; where there's not a perpetual test going on and where you don't have to see and regard the other's words, thoughts and actions as stemming from unconsciousness conditioning.
@songfantasy670 Thank you for this very precious observation. I think you are making a very important point. And probably Eckhart means that we are only free if we can support being around toxic people. But surely, in everyday life, we should surround ourselves by people who love, appreciate, and respect us. Otherwise, we would ruin our lives with this testing thing. In the end, we want to live our life, and not do test rounds! It is our life!
Excellent point. One way or another, we base our emotions toward somebody based on their actions, whether it's reality or what we want reality to be. We need to accept reality, and reality might be that we're not ready to maintain presence around toxic family members. Eckhart has done post-doc studies and is a professor. I don’t know about y'all, but I'm just learning to be present with the functional people in my life. Maybe we can’t be totally free until we can maintain presence around the toxic people in our lives, but learning to be free is a process. Maybe we'll get there. Maybe not. But I don't think it's a priority for many of us.
With my family, I left came back, was judge. I always was the odd one. I never did the right thing. Wrong hair, wrong pj, wrong underwear. Oh, the judgements… I left in 2023, for good. I feel so good. The agony is gone. I have forgiven, I love them. But I will not go testing myself with them again….
I have taken two sisters out of my life, both bullies. One when I was forty the other when I was sixty. I have no regrets. One sister left is a great friend and a brother who writes often. I also have many good friends who make up for family.
I just can’t take the verbal criticism and disrespect any longer. My siblings are older and learned this behavior from my mother but they are very controlling human beings. Very disrespectful.. I asserted myself and told my sister she was being so disrespectful (as she was criticizing me) on my birthday and my sister picked up her purse and left. As she walked out the door, she said have a nice life. Rather be collaborative see my point of view, she becomes defensive. I’m supposed to just take their verbal abuse in order to stay in the family. I can’t take it any longer…I’m 66 and my sister is 72 and brother is 75.
i had a toxic sis to. i don't have contact with her. but i am brining presence into the fact of the past. and it doesn't get to me as much. sure i have some days i think about it and say i hate her. but i don't want to hold onto hate. but right now the best thing is to not have contact. if i were to tho that would be great opportunity for presence. i practice everyday dealing wth ppl. u cross ppl all the time with differetn energy. when u accept man it really does lift a weight off.
Having had the experience of a toxic mother, I had the opportunity to try out different tactics in my relationship with her. I learned that deep down you can feel compassion even for a narcissistic person, but you shouldn't show it to them, because they will take advantage of you, as if you opened the door to your life again. Quite recently I shouted out all the negative, suppressed emotions related to this person (I was alone with myself) and in this way I honored my inner child and gave it the space to express itself that I didn't have as a child of narcissistic parents.
I truly appreciate you opening up about your journey. It’s inspiring to see how you’ve found ways to honor your feelings and your inner child. Keep embracing that growth!
The devouring narcissist mother will destroy you if you do. I opened once to my narc parents and what they did they destroyed me and made sure that I became ill and got brain damage.
I have chosen to love them from a distance. No contact means no conflicts, because if they have not changed after 30 or 40 years, the probability is extremely slim by now.
We have 2 chances at family, the one we are born into and the one we create. Respect yourself enough not to be abused just because you were born into it.
Thank you for sharing such a powerful reminder! It’s important for everyone to understand the importance of self-respect and surrounding ourselves with positivity.
You have to forgive and move on so you can live. It's a draining process that will destroy you if u don't.Its sad but true!! ❤❤ Love and kisses to all of us who have been affected 🌼🌺🌼
Listening to Eckhart has helped me heal to the point that very little upsets me anymore. I am now aware that everybody has a wounded child inside. All healing or not healing at their own pace. I dont take things personally so much any more. I'm still a work in progress but thanks to dear Eckhart I'm quite peaceful no matter who I'm around
Thank you so much for sharing your story with us, and I’m happy to hear how Eckhart’s wisdom has helped you find more peace. It sounds like you’re on a beautiful path of healing. We are all learning at our own pace, and it’s wonderful that you are being kind to yourself and others along the way. Thank you again for watching the video and for sharing your thoughts. Bless you and take care always!
I’m sitting here with my 94 year old father in hospice. I wish I had found this message sooner❣️ I kept getting “Eckhart,” but silly me thought the message was for the benefit of my dad as he transitions. Boy, did I need this!!! Thank you for expanding my consciousness!!! Sending love, light & gratitude. 🙏😇💫
Thank you for sharing such a heartfelt moment. It’s touching to hear that the message resonated with you. Sending you and your father love during this time.
It's not too late to really be with your Dad. To really love, really appreciate, really forgive, and to really forgive. Even right before death, people hear well and understand a lot more than we realise. I hope you will write back about this deep experience that you have created just in time to avoid greater regret. I, in New Zealand, will be thinking of you both.❤
@@barbsmart7373 Thank you❣️ I learned so much!!! Two days before his transition we had the best three to four hours together. My dad returned to me and clarity was provided. The anger/pain previously expressed had nothing to do with me. While I knew it, I needed confirmation. Consequently, I released the fear and returned to love. I will cherish those moments for eternity. My father was larger than life. I chose well. Thank you for sending us love and light during this time. We remain in gratitude. 🙏😇💫
It's hard when you hating you and being hostile as a gang is normal to them and they don't want peace but only to harm you for the rest of their miserable lives. They are Satan's agents.
Even living in the present moment you can get sucked back into unconsciousness by such a powerful force with a disapproving/unconscious family member. This video has brought me further clarity and inner peace. Thank you so much.
I'm so glad to hear that the video resonated with you! Staying present can be tough, especially with outside influences. Keep embracing that clarity and inner peace!
There was a quote I heard and the person I forgot his name but he said “ when we stop judging what we attract we stop attracting what we’ve judge.” But for me in everyone that “did something to me” or was toxic I had to admit that deep inside they were mirroring me in some type of way. The moment I stopped playing victim and called out what I attracted these individuals started disappearing. And we have to be careful not to keep bringing them up cause I find that people end up popping back up .
Nonreactive is right. My now deceased father made a remake which was designed to upset me. It was clear that he hadn't changed and thought I was the same. I looked at him, turned my head, then turned my body, and walked away. As I was boarding my car, I see him peripherally staring and speechless. I entered my car, seat belt, ignition, and drove away. That would be the last time that I would see him in reasonably good health. The next time he was incognizant due to ministrokes. I left his hospital room and never went back. 1.5 years later, I relocated back to Tennessee. About 1 year after that, he passed away. I didn't return to Maryland for the funeral. While he was my father and there is love there for that, our relationship lacked any real quality otherwise.
Not complex if I understand your use of the word. In retrospect, it lacked depth ultimately because he did. Excluding ageing, he never changed. And while in some respects he was beginning to awaken, I would say easily 97% was the same. The Buddha puts it this way: "Many will grow old in years and also grow old in vain." That is a perfect example of my father.
I have no relationship with any of my family including my children. It's hard and sad...it's taken along time to not take it personally and also say to myself, What's wrong with me. Thank you Echart 🙏
He is absolutely correct regarding presence with parents and why it's required even the more: the past, at least mine, is littered with a lot of painful experiences, painful words and actions that require one to be deeply rooted and grounded in mindfulness, otherwise, unconsciously you will think you are reliving one those events right then there and will react. For me, after I saw that it was still the same old thing, I did the conscious thing and distanced myself, accepting that, parents or not, some people don't and will not change and I must make self-care the priority. Consequently, I distanced myself and eventually relocated back to Tennessee, but with new insight and the fortitude that their presence in my life is not a requirement for my happiness 🙏
Amen. Well said. It's better to be healthy and alone than unhealthy with someone. The primary lesson that I left with is this: Just because they are family, it doesn't mean that the relationship is mutually beneficial.
There is not just anybody there... just an insane human being believing a toxic story in which you are the villain for a reason they made up in their minds, you can be the kindest person but they are completely convinced of your inferiority, untrustworthiness or whatever even they hardly spend time with you, don't know you at all and their jugdements cannot be further from the truth. That is my brother and my sister. How stay calm with that?? with their attacks, their blame, their arrogance and complete lack of compassion? I completely broke with them and moved to another country, just to survive because i was too kind and too oppressed to break with them from realizing my value, that i deserved a minimum of respect too.. This video helped me a lot, Eckhart Tolle is my favorite spiritual guide, his words hit me really but I will have to work hard every day to attain this point, this level of awareness. I will try.
Thank you so much for watching this video and for sharing your story. It sounds like you’ve been through a lot, and I can feel the strength it must have taken to make such a big change in your life. It’s truly painful when people we care about act in ways that hurt us, especially when we’re doing our best to be kind and compassionate. Recognizing your own worth and taking steps to protect your peace is such a brave and powerful thing to do. I’m so glad this video and Eckhart Tolle’s teachings resonated with you and brought you some comfort. Awareness and healing can take time, but your willingness to try every day already shows how determined and strong you are. You deserve respect, kindness, and peace, and I truly hope your journey continues to bring you closer to those things. Sending you much love and strength.
I’m having a hard time forgiving but what he is explaining about being non reactive is what other people call “gray rocking”. I found it necessary to cut off their scapegoating me as their supply and go no contact. Maybe one day we can get along better or maybe I will stay no contact. But I’m on a different path as them and I am definitely wired different and that’s my punishment in a family of toxic people.
"They are conditioned by their mind, which is conditioned by their past"- exactly. The more intense the conditioning, positive or negative, the more rigid their present mindset. If it's negative, only mindfulness and a strong desire to change can undo that.
Especially when I try to walk on a spiritual path and practicing méditation but impossible if I live with a toxic family. This is why I will live on my own
@@yourinnerchildmatters thank you, the most difficult part is to sacrifice my lovely cat because I can't take her with me. It's ok. I'm ready to anything for living fully my life 🔥
@@Toreningu28 that sounds very hard. it sucks when u have to leave something due to the toxic environment especially when u care of animals or lets say a niece of nephew ect. but your mental state is more important. wishing u the best
I don't think any of us really know what love is, myself included because when my spouse doesn't meet my needs or act the way I what I think of what Eckhart says in the book TPON " See how love turns to hate almost over night" Is that REAL love? I guess " I " me and my pain body are just as bad as the toxic people I complain about. Only relatively different. Just my observation of myself today. PS. Thank you, Eckhart for opening my eyes this life time! xxoo Ava
Thank you for sharing such a deep reflection. It’s brave to look within and acknowledge our own complexities. Eckhart really does have a way of guiding us to new insights!
You absolutely can and should. I had given up my mother, thought she was incapable of change. Then her mother died and something opened up in her. Then I realized an important truth: Never judge anyone too harshly because 5 years from now they may be enlightened.
@@annemurphy8074👍🏻 Forgive is for the forgiver, I forgive myself for stay too long, for not knowy what I was dealing with. Forgive mean accept them for who they are, mean you don't require them to change nor do or stop doing someting, It doesn't mean accepting how they treat you. It mean, leave them with their behaviour. you left them and their deeds behind, where it belong. Focus on what you want ; Where you focus on, energy flow. Grow.
Another lovely attempt from our "Inner child", but clouded by Eckhart's mystical charm. Our "nuclear" families or even rarely assembled "extended" families of origin are mere recent artifacts of our ancestral clan social structures, in which our Hunter-Gatherer ancestors thrived for tens of thousands of years when we were "conditioned" right down to the gene level for success in the natural environment, now long gone. We are fish out of water and our disconnected, alienated nuclear families of the diaspora are the closing chapter in the human experiment. What could go wrong? Everything? Stress R Us
I'm sad to see how these awful people continue to get a pass for their behavior..what about the ones the leave abused and traumatized? who grow up to have kids, and sometimes it just keeps going..its just a cycle, a nasty cycle. That's why a therapist will always have a client list. and..They do know...they don't care.
Thank you so much sir Eckhart Tolle in this very moment i forgive my whole family and the whole world for they just don't know i am pure compassion i love the whole humanity.❤🙏
I understand that family dynamics can be tough. It's great that you're finding ways to connect through videos like this one. Remember, sometimes shared experiences can help bridge those gaps!
The calm speak and demeanor really resonated with me. Eckhart Tolle's explanations spoke to me since going no contact is not realistic at this time but can go very little contact. Thanks for the insight!
I'm glad to hear that Eckhart Tolle's insights are resonating with you! Setting boundaries, even with limited contact, can really help protect your energy.
@yourinnerchildmatters yes, thank you! I started setting real boundaries three and a half months ago after a lifelong experience of drama and waking up to it about seven years ago. It has been a slow process, but I feel a shift happening. Thanks again!
I spent a wonderfull time with my unconscious wealthy parents who aged and no longer felt a need to judge, and were just needing my unconditional love and compassion after over 30 years of absence.. ❤
All the videos are of families smiling and laughing, which seems odd to me. Toxic family members aren't like that generally, after the first 2 minutes. The bullying begins pretty quickly and lasts much of the time one is there. They're delighted to rage and rant at you for an hour or more if they can get you alone, attempting to drag you into a fight or bully you into moving home so they can use you as an emotional punching bag and/or therapist and/or slave. It's not self-loving to go subject yourself to true toxicity. You can make a promise to your inner child to protect them from abusive people, and stand by that promise. As the family of origin often did not. If that includes avoiding abusive people, whether emotionally abusive or physically (or in any other way), so be it. Please take care of yourself so you can heal. I found quality energy healers who work via the quantum field helped a lot with recovering. (if anyone reading this is wanting faster progress)
Thank you for sharing your thoughts. It’s important to recognize and prioritize our mental health, especially when it comes to family dynamics. Taking care of yourself and setting boundaries is essential for healing.
Particularly if you are unconscious of it, the worse your past was, the worse condition will be in the present. This is one of the main reasons why they never change. It's so deeply ingrained in them, to live any other way is inconceivable.
My relationship with my parents is the most challenging I have ever had because on some level I love them but on another level, I don't like them. But I can appreciate them because I deliberately decided to do some things differently than them.
Thank you. It starts with forgiveness. To reach a state where you can love them how they are and be non reactive is what I strive for. Understanding they are trapped in their behavior. This helps me truly understand where they are. ❤❤❤
Thank you for sharing your thoughts! It’s always inspiring to hear how others prioritize forgiveness and understanding. You're definitely on the right track!
Thank you really helps seen this within my birth family feel like drifting further away the healthier ive become had so many toxic behaviours that worked on changing within myself. What I couldnt see is now very clear patterns playing out . I have become none reactive just have firm boundaries and time with them.
"They are manifesting their conditioning"- exactly. I drew this conclusion about an incident regarding another driver last week. Long story short, as they shouted and used profanity, I sat there silently and in presence.
I just love it that look back at my life and I enjoy my peace so much it is such a treasure to have them Out of my life and have my peace🎉😅❤ I am so gratefull to protect my peace!
"Thank you so much for watching. Yeah, Forgiveness is a powerful virtue that allows us to let go of negativity and find peace within ourselves. It's true, sometimes people may not fully understand the impact of their words or actions, but by forgiving them, we can choose love over resentment. Let's continue spreading compassion and understanding in this world. Sending you lots of love and gratitude! ❤️❤️❤️ from Your Inner Child Matters
Sure they never know? Maybe some sometimes hurt others because it's their own free will. Because beside of our conditionings and genes we probably have a free will.
@@yourinnerchildmatters thank you. Yes, I guess some of us come from families that get on well, and sadly some come from families where there is much argy-bargy. It's the lottery of life.
@@Pedro-s4k3y Thank you too. It's true, some of us are lucky to have peaceful families, while others face more challenges. Life can be unpredictable, but I appreciate your words and the support you offer. 🙏
Since he says he doesn't have kids, he doesn't know what it feels like to do everything that you can for your child and not be even respected and be verbally stabbed in the heart over and over in a life time repeating pattern. How much such abuse must one endure under the banner of loving parent?
It's true that parenting can be an incredibly challenging journey, often filled with heartbreak and struggle. Your feelings are valid, and it's important to seek support from those who understand the complexities of being a loving parent.
People, including children, will treat you the way you allow. Sometimes as parents, we can do too much for them. It is as harmful as not doing enough. Find a balance. You can love, care and support unconditionally, but this does not include accepting abusive/disrespectful behaviour. ❤
When I came to understand Eckhart's teachings I found that it was my choice alone to endure abuse under the banner of a loving parent. It was my concept that I alone had created that caused nothing but suffering for me and my daughter it never worked and that I only let go when she quit contact with me completely. I know that she is well and I am, too. Since then I found so much unconsciouss inside me that I need to take care about and I can be only grateful to my daughter that she left that space for me to take care about myself.
Also it’s not about forgiving anyone It’s about what to do with the pain they gave you The pain keeps you reminded of them and keeping the cord attached
👋Trust me, you just cant win, tried for years to reach people like that, just get as far away as possible from a toxic family and environment which will only poison your soul, it was a miracle that I got away, I now live with a beautiful view 🌄 with my Cat 😻 Honey, who has been more of a family to me than my whole family combined, wishing health luck and happiness, Love Edda 🌹♥️🌹
Thank you for sharing your story. It takes so much strength to walk away from a toxic environment, and I’m so happy to hear that you found peace and a beautiful place to call home.i wish you endless happiness, health, and love. Thank you for watching! 🙏bless you dear
The fact that you are asking Means pull away slowly.... Use the psychiatric riule of 3 Is a clear way to know when to pause or emd a relationship with anyone.
@MjF809 he says awakening only happens in difficult situations so I am confused if you stay in toxic environment and grow spiritually or leave the toxic environment.
@@Rajjo15 i have the same problem, but also i am unemployed currently and also ill so that is the one more reason for me to not leaving. I just want to say that u are not alone and u will have to face problems wherever you go or whatever you choose to do and u will also grow , but it is up to you what kind of problems you want to face and grow yourself that way. For example family or any other person out side both can be toxic so it is up to you what you want to face , what kind of situation you want to handle both can be a lesson for you🙏
He is dead on regarding a shared past. You definitely must remain present to negate reactivity. When I sense where the person is and their attempts to draw me into reactivity, I 🚶
I literally got brain damage and am physically ill after 35 years of toxicity since I was 1 year old. They are just gloating on the damage that they did and how I became a failure because this feeds their narcissism. This is why they prevented my growth and undermined my academic and music abilities. It is still difficult to detach due to how they enmeshed me so that I can waste my time on them. They only way I can defeat them is if I become financially successful, yet if they know about this they will seek to file a lawsuit to make me pay for all the rent I missed since I was born.
Thank you so much for sharing your story and for watching the video. I can feel the pain and struggle you've been through, and I truly admire your strength for continuing to move forward despite everything. It's heartbreaking to hear about the challenges you've faced, but please know that your worth is not defined by their actions or their words. Detaching from such deep-rooted toxicity is incredibly hard, but every small step you take toward your own growth and healing is a victory. Your talents and potential are still within you, and I hope you can reclaim them at your own pace, free from their influence. Wishing you all the success and peace you deserve. Take care of yourself, and thank you again for being here. 🙏
@@jacqueslee2592 Thank you so much for your lovely comment. It means a lot to know the video has been helpful to you. Your kind words and support encourage me to keep sharing content like this. Best of luck to you as well, and thank you for watching! 😊💖
Please don't take this as a criticism but rather something constructive - for a very brief few moments between the end of one music track to the beginning of another, it sheer bliss and I think others may have thought the same way. Perhaps there's something to learn in that ❤❤❤
Definitely more challenging, particularly if the past is painful, it's unacknowledged by the perpetrator, and they exhibit the same behavior in the present. As one person put it: "Cut you into ribbons and then ask what's wrong with you?"😳
great video! i really appreciate the insights you shared. but honestly, i wonder if completely cutting off toxic family members is sometimes too extreme? i feel like there's value in trying to set boundaries rather than cutting ties completely. what do you all think?
Thank you for your kind words! I completely agree with you-boundaries can often lead to healthier interactions without having to sever ties completely.
great video! i really appreciate the insights shared here. but honestly, while i get that cutting ties can be tough, i sometimes wonder if we really need to go that far with family. isn’t there value in working through those tough dynamics instead? just a thought!
Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts and for appreciating the video! 🙏 You bring up such an important point, and I completely understand where you're coming from. Family relationships can be incredibly complex, and choosing to work through challenges is such a brave and meaningful path. Sometimes, though, certain situations may feel too heavy or harmful for someone, and taking a step back becomes a way to protect their well-being. But you’re absolutely right-if it’s safe and both sides are willing, working through tough dynamics can lead to growth and healing. Thank you for adding such a thoughtful perspective to this conversation. It’s a reminder of the beauty of giving relationships a chance while respecting our boundaries. ❤️
This is so fucking sad on so many levels. If you have been empath that has poured to others their whole life, and work on yourself constantly, and continue to find people and family and friends that just refuse to wake up and work on themselves, their is truly only one option. Cut off.
It's definitely a tough situation when you care deeply for others but feel like you're not getting the same energy back. Sometimes, prioritizing your own well-being is the most important choice you can make.
Absolutely! Prioritizing peace of mind is important for our well-being. It's better to focus on healthy relationships rather than forcing things that just don't work.
"Being free of the ego".....people who think the ego is a bad thing don't understand that the ego is necessary to live this life. A healthy ego allows you to know you're not the other. People with narcissistic personality disorder have a broken ego, they don't experience the self. That's why they are in desperate need of others but in an extremely unhealthy and damaging way. People should stop saying "boo the ego is bad".
Forgiveness is a tricky thing, because it's deeply personal. It's not always possible, safe, or self-loving to forgive, and forgiveness should not just be prescribed as a 'rule', or viewed as a necessary for our healing. Personally, I'm not interested in forgiveness. It's a red herring, and a distraction from the work we need to do to survive the injury caused. We will not find peace while we focus our attention and energy on the other. It's most often ourselves we need to forgive. Selling forgiveness as the essential, necessary route to recovery, is ill advised. People might SAY they forgive, hoping for salvation, when they are not ready, or it's not an appropriate situation to be forgiving.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts. I truly understand that forgiveness is a very personal and complex journey. It’s important to recognize that forgiveness is not a one-size-fits-all solution, and it’s okay if it doesn’t feel right or safe for everyone. Healing looks different for each of us, and focusing on our own well-being is what truly matters. Your perspective highlights how important it is to honor our own feelings and experiences. I appreciate your honesty and the wisdom you’ve shared here. Take care. 🌟
@@yourinnerchildmattersadjust the volume to 0. It is totally unnecessary, it drowns out Elkhart’s voice and ruined the video. Sorry if my comment sounds harsh to you but you are playing music for your own pleasure and no one else.
interesting how I know someone that "follows" Eckhart, but they are so self absorbed and incapable of acts of compassion--though they talk a good talk, no walking the talk. I am not so evolved that I can be around them--it's too heartbreaking. Deceiving oneself has got to be one of the worst forms of hell. I have compassion but not the strength to see that.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts! It takes a lot of self-awareness to recognize those dynamics, and it's a reminder for all of us to strive for authenticity in our actions.
Hi, what do you do if they have victim mentality and you yourself has overcome it and want to change them because they come to you for their problems but they don’t want to do the work that you tell them to do
Very illuminating, thank you. I feel the video is distracting. The brain is focused on concentrating on what' s being said. At the same time, the video is telling a story, and the brain is being distracted with two different directions.
So what i gathered from this is essentially, i need to start treating my trouble making small minded step Dad like he is in a institution and am his carer. 😂 thats the polite way and in all honesty that would be much better for our relationship. Humor him and go along with it, and at the same time feel sorry for him 😂
Yea, Eckhart makes some very important points but he leaves out some practical realities. Meaning, yes you can take the test of being around them and be as presence; but to always be in an environment where you are being tested becomes very draining after a while. To have to be around someone who is toxic, ultimately is not healthy and very tiring. Better to spend time around people who you can be open and natural with; where there's not a perpetual test going on and where you don't have to see and regard the other's words, thoughts and actions as stemming from unconsciousness conditioning.
There always have existed people who had propensity for awareness, regardless of their demographic and conditioning. It’s not a new concept. Nor is the modern era more “evolved”. The human race births such members randomly and all across its many “cultures” as they are needed for survival and evolution of the species. The new age movement is not the significator of such people existing or evolving. Human nature is. One may or not be lucky to have one or both such parents- and even so, only oneself can grow and evolve from inside out, in which case adversity is the ultimate blessing and the ultimate teacher, much more so than any “aware” parent can be. The individual who chooses to grow will end up doing so regardless of their circumstances and will gravitate towards the collective human knowledge of how to do so. When the student is ready - the teacher appears. And yes, for some people these teachers can be their natural parents.
In India they say, we are born with certain “ Sanskars “ ( values or personal traits)from previous births.. That’s why even some babies behave differently strange.
Thank you for sharing such an interesting perspective! It’s always enlightening to hear different viewpoints on the significance of our values and traits.
The harm they do is so hard to forget and forgive...no contact seems to be the only choice.
It’s definitely tough to process the pain caused by others. Sometimes, taking a step back and creating that distance is the healthiest choice for your well-being.
@@dianneatay8643 someone wrote that trying to recover from emotional and/or physical abuse while still in contact with the abuser "is like trying to blow dry your hair in a rainstorm."
Yes. And the point is, if you lose trust and have to worry about the next attack, one might well conclude, why bother ?
I like to think of it as No Contact Lite.
it helps
He is absolutely correct. I was gone basically 30 years before I came back to live where I was born, reared, and grew up, and it was "the same old thing."
I stayed for nearly 5 years before I had had enough and relocated back to where life was better in every sense: Tennessee.
thank you for sharing your thoughts 💕✨💖
"Better get back to Tennessee, Jed." - Robert Hunter
I had the same experience
I am going through the same experience.
That's such a truly poignant thing to read. Tragic, yet wonderful 🙂 I've felt moving away really is the solution (if it's right for you and I think deep down we ALL know what's right for us). It seems to be a matter of courage as well! Looks like you found that courage. WELL done (I'm still searching for that courage)....... perhaps one day.
Id rather be alone and in peace than be around interering and toxic family members,my wwll being comes first.
Thank you for sharing your perspective. It's important to take care of yourself first.
Yea, Eckhart makes some very important points but he leaves out some practical realities. Meaning, yes you can take the test of being around them and be as presence; but to always be in an environment where you are being tested becomes very draining after a while. To have to be around someone who is toxic, ultimately is not healthy and very tiring. Better to spend time around people who you can be open and natural with; where there's not a perpetual test going on and where you don't have to see and regard the other's words, thoughts and actions as stemming from unconsciousness conditioning.
@songfantasy670 Thank you for this very precious observation. I think you are making a very important point.
And probably Eckhart means that we are only free if we can support being around toxic people. But surely, in everyday life, we should surround ourselves by people who love, appreciate, and respect us. Otherwise, we would ruin our lives with this testing thing. In the end, we want to live our life, and not do test rounds! It is our life!
Excellent point. One way or another, we base our emotions toward somebody based on their actions, whether it's reality or what we want reality to be. We need to accept reality, and reality might be that we're not ready to maintain presence around toxic family members.
Eckhart has done post-doc studies and is a professor. I don’t know about y'all, but I'm just learning to be present with the functional people in my life.
Maybe we can’t be totally free until we can maintain presence around the toxic people in our lives, but learning to be free is a process. Maybe we'll get there. Maybe not. But I don't think it's a priority for many of us.
With my family, I left came back, was judge. I always was the odd one. I never did the right thing. Wrong hair, wrong pj, wrong underwear. Oh, the judgements… I left in 2023, for good. I feel so good. The agony is gone. I have forgiven, I love them. But I will not go testing myself with them again….
I have taken two sisters out of my life, both bullies. One when I was forty the other when I was sixty. I have no regrets. One sister left is a great friend and a brother who writes often. I also have many good friends who make up for family.
Thank you for sharing your experience! It’s inspiring to see how you’ve prioritized your happiness and built a strong support system.
I just can’t take the verbal criticism and disrespect any longer. My siblings are older and learned this behavior from my mother but they are very controlling human beings. Very disrespectful.. I asserted myself and told my sister she was being so disrespectful (as she was criticizing me) on my birthday and my sister picked up her purse and left. As she walked out the door, she said have a nice life. Rather be collaborative see my point of view, she becomes defensive. I’m supposed to just take their verbal abuse in order to stay in the family. I can’t take it any longer…I’m 66 and my sister is 72 and brother is 75.
i had a toxic sis to. i don't have contact with her. but i am brining presence into the fact of the past. and it doesn't get to me as much. sure i have some days i think about it and say i hate her. but i don't want to hold onto hate. but right now the best thing is to not have contact. if i were to tho that would be great opportunity for presence. i practice everyday dealing wth ppl. u cross ppl all the time with differetn energy. when u accept man it really does lift a weight off.
Much love and peace to you and yours
Having had the experience of a toxic mother, I had the opportunity to try out different tactics in my relationship with her. I learned that deep down you can feel compassion even for a narcissistic person, but you shouldn't show it to them, because they will take advantage of you, as if you opened the door to your life again. Quite recently I shouted out all the negative, suppressed emotions related to this person (I was alone with myself) and in this way I honored my inner child and gave it the space to express itself that I didn't have as a child of narcissistic parents.
I truly appreciate you opening up about your journey. It’s inspiring to see how you’ve found ways to honor your feelings and your inner child. Keep embracing that growth!
❤
❤❤❤
I can relate ❤
The devouring narcissist mother will destroy you if you do. I opened once to my narc parents and what they did they destroyed me and made sure that I became ill and got brain damage.
I have chosen to love them from a distance. No contact means no conflicts, because if they have not changed after 30 or 40 years, the probability is extremely slim by now.
It sounds like you've made a wise decision for your peace of mind. Sometimes distance is the healthiest choice in relationships!
@@yourinnerchildmattersexactly
We have 2 chances at family, the one we are born into and the one we create. Respect yourself enough not to be abused just because you were born into it.
Thank you for sharing such a powerful reminder! It’s important for everyone to understand the importance of self-respect and surrounding ourselves with positivity.
And don't allow yourself to be abused just because they were born to you.
You have to forgive and move on so you can live. It's a draining process that will destroy you if u don't.Its sad but true!! ❤❤ Love and kisses to all of us who have been affected 🌼🌺🌼
Listening to Eckhart has helped me heal to the point that very little upsets me anymore. I am now aware that everybody has a wounded child inside. All healing or not healing at their own pace. I dont take things personally so much any more. I'm still a work in progress but thanks to dear Eckhart I'm quite peaceful no matter who I'm around
Thank you so much for sharing your story with us, and I’m happy to hear how Eckhart’s wisdom has helped you find more peace. It sounds like you’re on a beautiful path of healing. We are all learning at our own pace, and it’s wonderful that you are being kind to yourself and others along the way. Thank you again for watching the video and for sharing your thoughts. Bless you and take care always!
I’m sitting here with my 94 year old father in hospice. I wish I had found this message sooner❣️ I kept getting “Eckhart,” but silly me thought the message was for the benefit of my dad as he transitions. Boy, did I need this!!! Thank you for expanding my consciousness!!! Sending love, light & gratitude. 🙏😇💫
Thank you for sharing such a heartfelt moment. It’s touching to hear that the message resonated with you. Sending you and your father love during this time.
It's not too late to really be with your Dad. To really love, really appreciate, really forgive, and to really forgive.
Even right before death, people hear well and understand a lot more than we realise.
I hope you will write back about this deep experience that you have created just in time to avoid greater regret.
I, in New Zealand, will be thinking of you both.❤
@@yourinnerchildmatters Thank you❣️ My father passed on 08/30. 💔
@@barbsmart7373 Thank you❣️ I learned so much!!! Two days before his transition we had the best three to four hours together. My dad returned to me and clarity was provided. The anger/pain previously expressed had nothing to do with me. While I knew it, I needed confirmation. Consequently, I released the fear and returned to love. I will cherish those moments for eternity. My father was larger than life. I chose well. Thank you for sending us love and light during this time. We remain in gratitude.
🙏😇💫
@@Nurturing2
I'm very sorry for your loss. My thoughts are with you and your family during this difficult time. Take care of yourself. 💔
They don't know that they are trapped in it. As my therapist put it, "it's normal to them."
Thank you for sharing that insight from your therapist. It's always eye-opening to hear different perspectives.
Ditto.
A program that runs in their minds
true
It's hard when you hating you and being hostile as a gang is normal to them and they don't want peace but only to harm you for the rest of their miserable lives. They are Satan's agents.
Even living in the present moment you can get sucked back into unconsciousness by such a powerful force with a disapproving/unconscious family member. This video has brought me further clarity and inner peace. Thank you so much.
I'm so glad to hear that the video resonated with you! Staying present can be tough, especially with outside influences. Keep embracing that clarity and inner peace!
There was a quote I heard and the person I forgot his name but he said “ when we stop judging what we attract we stop attracting what we’ve judge.” But for me in everyone that “did something to me” or was toxic I had to admit that deep inside they were mirroring me in some type of way. The moment I stopped playing victim and called out what I attracted these individuals started disappearing. And we have to be careful not to keep bringing them up cause I find that people end up popping back up .
Thank you for sharing your insight and personal experience with us.
Yes!
They will pop back up!
@@WaxingGibbous170 Absolutely!!!!
I agree 💜
How did they mirror something in you ?
If people are toxic and every time you see them you have trouble sleeping at night, you feel unwell and drained mentally ; you cut ties. That simple.
Thank you for sharing your perspective!
Nonreactive is right. My now deceased father made a remake which was designed to upset me. It was clear that he hadn't changed and thought I was the same.
I looked at him, turned my head, then turned my body, and walked away. As I was boarding my car, I see him peripherally staring and speechless. I entered my car, seat belt, ignition, and drove away.
That would be the last time that I would see him in reasonably good health. The next time he was incognizant due to ministrokes. I left his hospital room and never went back. 1.5 years later, I relocated back to Tennessee.
About 1 year after that, he passed away. I didn't return to Maryland for the funeral.
While he was my father and there is love there for that, our relationship lacked any real quality otherwise.
It sounds like you had a complex relationship with your father. It's important to prioritize your own well-being and boundaries.
Not complex if I understand your use of the word. In retrospect, it lacked depth ultimately because he did. Excluding ageing, he never changed. And while in some respects he was beginning to awaken, I would say easily 97% was the same.
The Buddha puts it this way: "Many will grow old in years and also grow old in vain."
That is a perfect example of my father.
I have no relationship with any of my family including my children. It's hard and sad...it's taken along time to not take it personally and also say to myself, What's wrong with me. Thank you Echart 🙏
Thank you for sharing your story. It takes courage to open up about these feelings, and I hope you find the support and healing you deserve.
Always remember, you’re the good one☘️🙏❤️
He is absolutely correct regarding presence with parents and why it's required even the more: the past, at least mine, is littered with a lot of painful experiences, painful words and actions that require one to be deeply rooted and grounded in mindfulness, otherwise, unconsciously you will think you are reliving one those events right then there and will react.
For me, after I saw that it was still the same old thing, I did the conscious thing and distanced myself, accepting that, parents or not, some people don't and will not change and I must make self-care the priority.
Consequently, I distanced myself and eventually relocated back to Tennessee, but with new insight and the fortitude that their presence in my life is not a requirement for my happiness 🙏
It's important to prioritize self-care and set boundaries in relationships that may be toxic or damaging. Your well-being should always come first.
Amen. Well said.
It's better to be healthy and alone than unhealthy with someone.
The primary lesson that I left with is this:
Just because they are family, it doesn't mean that the relationship is mutually beneficial.
There is not just anybody there... just an insane human being believing a toxic story in which you are the villain for a reason they made up in their minds, you can be the kindest person but they are completely convinced of your inferiority, untrustworthiness or whatever even they hardly spend time with you, don't know you at all and their jugdements cannot be further from the truth. That is my brother and my sister. How stay calm with that?? with their attacks, their blame, their arrogance and complete lack of compassion? I completely broke with them and moved to another country, just to survive because i was too kind and too oppressed to break with them from realizing my value, that i deserved a minimum of respect too.. This video helped me a lot, Eckhart Tolle is my favorite spiritual guide, his words hit me really but I will have to work hard every day to attain this point, this level of awareness. I will try.
Thank you so much for watching this video and for sharing your story. It sounds like you’ve been through a lot, and I can feel the strength it must have taken to make such a big change in your life. It’s truly painful when people we care about act in ways that hurt us, especially when we’re doing our best to be kind and compassionate. Recognizing your own worth and taking steps to protect your peace is such a brave and powerful thing to do. I’m so glad this video and Eckhart Tolle’s teachings resonated with you and brought you some comfort. Awareness and healing can take time, but your willingness to try every day already shows how determined and strong you are. You deserve respect, kindness, and peace, and I truly hope your journey continues to bring you closer to those things. Sending you much love and strength.
"For that it's easy to forgive them because they don't know". ❤
Thank you for sharing that perspective! It's a reminder that sometimes, a little understanding goes a long way in fostering forgiveness.
There is nothing to forgive
I’m having a hard time forgiving but what he is explaining about being non reactive is what other people call “gray rocking”. I found it necessary to cut off their scapegoating me as their supply and go no contact. Maybe one day we can get along better or maybe I will stay no contact. But I’m on a different path as them and I am definitely wired different and that’s my punishment in a family of toxic people.
"They are conditioned by their mind, which is conditioned by their past"- exactly. The more intense the conditioning, positive or negative, the more rigid their present mindset. If it's negative, only mindfulness and a strong desire to change can undo that.
Thank you for sharing such insightful thoughts! bless you
"not reactive around people With whom you share past" perfect words. O needed to hear those exact words
Thank you for your kind words! It means a lot to know the message connected with you!
Especially when I try to walk on a spiritual path and practicing méditation but impossible if I live with a toxic family. This is why I will live on my own
Thank you for sharing your experience. It's inspiring to see your dedication to your spiritual path.
@@yourinnerchildmatters thank you, the most difficult part is to sacrifice my lovely cat because I can't take her with me. It's ok. I'm ready to anything for living fully my life 🔥
@@Toreningu28 that sounds very hard. it sucks when u have to leave something due to the toxic environment especially when u care of animals or lets say a niece of nephew ect. but your mental state is more important. wishing u the best
@@banderas2000 Exactly thank you very much 🙏
It’s not about forgiving them it’s about how to fill the void within u
Thank you for sharing your perspective. It's a valuable reminder to focus on self-care.
Agree! Keep the focus on our own healing.
it's about letting go. like turning off a light switch
Never complain ... Never explain ... My life = my rules.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts! It’s a powerful reminder to stay true to ourselves and live authentically.
Yes and their circus 😂
You were recommended to me by a blind physicist on a train.
He wasn't wrong ❤ much love everyone
Thank you for sharing.
I don't think any of us really know what love is, myself included because when my spouse doesn't meet my needs or act the way I what I think of what Eckhart says in the book TPON " See how love turns to hate almost over night" Is that REAL love? I guess " I " me and my pain body are just as bad as the toxic people I complain about. Only relatively different. Just my observation of myself today. PS. Thank you, Eckhart for opening my eyes this life time! xxoo Ava
Thank you for sharing such a deep reflection. It’s brave to look within and acknowledge our own complexities. Eckhart really does have a way of guiding us to new insights!
You cannot FORGIVE someone who never changes their BEHAVIOUR
Forgiveness is not for them or based on them changing their behavior. It's for your consciousness.
Forgiveness means accepting their level of consciousness. It's no longer personal. It doesn't mean you have to stick around bad behaviour.
You absolutely can and should. I had given up my mother, thought she was incapable of change. Then her mother died and something opened up in her. Then I realized an important truth: Never judge anyone too harshly because 5 years from now they may be enlightened.
So think on it then change your behaviour in some way and see what happens.
@@annemurphy8074👍🏻
Forgive is for the forgiver,
I forgive myself for stay too long, for not knowy what I was dealing with.
Forgive mean accept them for who they are, mean you don't require them to change nor do or stop doing someting,
It doesn't mean accepting how they treat you.
It mean, leave them with their behaviour. you left them and their deeds behind, where it belong.
Focus on what you want ;
Where you focus on, energy flow. Grow.
I love how his message is so down to Earth and neutral, yet the piano tries to add a layer of drama. Made me laugh a bit. 😂
Yes, along with the B roll family shots spliced in 😅
@@TheBigdog868those were just actually painfully not representative of what myself and most folks coming to this video would have experienced
Love This Guy ❤!!!
Thank you Eckhart!!!
Another lovely attempt from our "Inner child", but clouded by Eckhart's mystical charm. Our "nuclear" families or even rarely assembled "extended" families of origin are mere recent artifacts of our ancestral clan social structures, in which our Hunter-Gatherer ancestors thrived for tens of thousands of years when we were "conditioned" right down to the gene level for success in the natural environment, now long gone. We are fish out of water and our disconnected, alienated nuclear families of the diaspora are the closing chapter in the human experiment. What could go wrong? Everything? Stress R Us
I'm sad to see how these awful people continue to get a pass for their behavior..what about the ones the leave abused and traumatized? who grow up to have kids, and sometimes it just keeps going..its just a cycle, a nasty cycle. That's why a therapist will always have a client list.
and..They do know...they don't care.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts. It's important to shed light on these issues and work towards creating a healthier environment for all.
Thank you so much sir Eckhart Tolle in this very moment i forgive my whole family and the whole world for they just don't know i am pure compassion i love the whole humanity.❤🙏
Thank you for sharing your beautiful perspective! It’s inspiring to see you embody such positivity and forgiveness.
how wonderfully synchronized this video right now I have to spend days with my family with i dont have good relationship.
I understand that family dynamics can be tough. It's great that you're finding ways to connect through videos like this one. Remember, sometimes shared experiences can help bridge those gaps!
The calm speak and demeanor really resonated with me. Eckhart Tolle's explanations spoke to me since going no contact is not realistic at this time but can go very little contact. Thanks for the insight!
I'm glad to hear that Eckhart Tolle's insights are resonating with you! Setting boundaries, even with limited contact, can really help protect your energy.
@yourinnerchildmatters yes, thank you! I started setting real boundaries three and a half months ago after a lifelong experience of drama and waking up to it about seven years ago. It has been a slow process, but I feel a shift happening. Thanks again!
I spent a wonderfull time with my unconscious wealthy parents who aged and no longer felt a need to judge, and were just needing my unconditional love and compassion after over 30 years of absence.. ❤
Thank you for sharing such a touching experience. Family bonds are truly special.
Forgive them, for they don't know any better.
And also know when to get away permanently.
I've been trying to change my own beliefs and see myself in this and am triggered by similar people!
It's hard to look within!
Thank you for sharing your experience! It’s inspiring to see others on their journey of self-discovery. Remember, you're not alone in this process!
All the videos are of families smiling and laughing, which seems odd to me. Toxic family members aren't like that generally, after the first 2 minutes. The bullying begins pretty quickly and lasts much of the time one is there. They're delighted to rage and rant at you for an hour or more if they can get you alone, attempting to drag you into a fight or bully you into moving home so they can use you as an emotional punching bag and/or therapist and/or slave. It's not self-loving to go subject yourself to true toxicity. You can make a promise to your inner child to protect them from abusive people, and stand by that promise. As the family of origin often did not. If that includes avoiding abusive people, whether emotionally abusive or physically (or in any other way), so be it. Please take care of yourself so you can heal. I found quality energy healers who work via the quantum field helped a lot with recovering. (if anyone reading this is wanting faster progress)
Thank you for sharing your thoughts. It’s important to recognize and prioritize our mental health, especially when it comes to family dynamics. Taking care of yourself and setting boundaries is essential for healing.
Can you recommend any good healers?
Particularly if you are unconscious of it, the worse your past was, the worse condition will be in the present. This is one of the main reasons why they never change. It's so deeply ingrained in them, to live any other way is inconceivable.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts! It’s always good to hear different perspectives on how our past can impact our present.
My relationship with my parents is the most challenging I have ever had because on some level I love them but on another level, I don't like them. But I can appreciate them because I deliberately decided to do some things differently than them.
Thank you for sharing your experience! It’s inspiring to see you take control and make decisions that align with your values.
Thank you. It starts with forgiveness. To reach a state where you can love them how they are and be non reactive is what I strive for. Understanding they are trapped in their behavior. This helps me truly understand where they are. ❤❤❤
Thank you for sharing your thoughts! It’s always inspiring to hear how others prioritize forgiveness and understanding. You're definitely on the right track!
A program that runs in their minds
Thank you for sharing your thoughts! It’s amazing how our minds work and how we can create programs that reflect that complexity.
Thank you really helps seen this within my birth family feel like drifting further away the healthier ive become had so many toxic behaviours that worked on changing within myself. What I couldnt see is now very clear patterns playing out . I have become none reactive just have firm boundaries and time with them.
Thank you for sharing your experience. It's inspiring to hear how you're prioritizing your health and growth.
@@yourinnerchildmatters we can all only change ourselves long journey to realising this. Thank you for your kind response
"They are manifesting their conditioning"- exactly. I drew this conclusion about an incident regarding another driver last week. Long story short, as they shouted and used profanity, I sat there silently and in presence.
Thank you for sharing that insight! It’s great to hear how you applied presence in a challenging moment.
Eckhart Tolle makes so much sense.
thanks for watching
I just love it that look back at my life and I enjoy my peace so much it is such a treasure to have them Out of my life and have my peace🎉😅❤ I am so gratefull to protect my peace!
Thank you for sharing your journey! It's inspiring to see how you've prioritized your peace and happiness.bless you!
Nice! I love this message, especially that last sentence! Thank you 🙏
I'm really glad to hear that you enjoyed the message! It means a lot to me.
Thank you for having uploaded this video. So helpful. Have a nice day❤
Thank you too
"Forgive them because they don't know"... ❤❤❤
"Thank you so much for watching. Yeah, Forgiveness is a powerful virtue that allows us to let go of negativity and find peace within ourselves. It's true, sometimes people may not fully understand the impact of their words or actions, but by forgiving them, we can choose love over resentment. Let's continue spreading compassion and understanding in this world.
Sending you lots of love and gratitude! ❤️❤️❤️
from Your Inner Child Matters
Bless u ❤️ much love 🎉
This is the part that stood out to me the most. They don't know ... :(
Sure they never know?
Maybe some sometimes hurt others because it's their own free will. Because beside of our conditionings and genes we probably have a free will.
Bullshit! They know.
Wonderful advice, thank you, and the giggle @3:40 is perfect 😂. They are what they are so help us all
I'm glad you found the advice helpful!Thanks for watching!
Sometimes the love is in the absence of their negativity from our life
Thank you for sharing this insightful thought! It’s so true that removing negativity can open our hearts to more love and positivity.
I had a very good family. It was not toxic.
Thank you for sharing your experience! It's always refreshing to hear about healthy family dynamics.
@@yourinnerchildmatters thank you. Yes, I guess some of us come from families that get on well, and sadly some come from families where there is much argy-bargy. It's the lottery of life.
@@Pedro-s4k3y Thank you too. It's true, some of us are lucky to have peaceful families, while others face more challenges. Life can be unpredictable, but I appreciate your words and the support you offer. 🙏
Since he says he doesn't have kids, he doesn't know what it feels like to do everything that you can for your child and not be even respected and be verbally stabbed in the heart over and over in a life time repeating pattern. How much such abuse must one endure under the banner of loving parent?
It's true that parenting can be an incredibly challenging journey, often filled with heartbreak and struggle. Your feelings are valid, and it's important to seek support from those who understand the complexities of being a loving parent.
People, including children, will treat you the way you allow. Sometimes as parents, we can do too much for them. It is as harmful as not doing enough. Find a balance. You can love, care and support unconditionally, but this does not include accepting abusive/disrespectful behaviour. ❤
I can totally relate to what you wrote.
There is a space in you that knows, whatever they do or say, you will not be affected. Find that and be that.
When I came to understand Eckhart's teachings I found that it was my choice alone to endure abuse under the banner of a loving parent. It was my concept that I alone had created that caused nothing but suffering for me and my daughter it never worked and that I only let go when she quit contact with me completely. I know that she is well and I am, too. Since then I found so much unconsciouss inside me that I need to take care about and I can be only grateful to my daughter that she left that space for me to take care about myself.
Also it’s not about forgiving anyone
It’s about what to do with the pain they gave you
The pain keeps you reminded of them and keeping the cord attached
Thank you for sharing your perspective on forgiveness and pain. It's important to acknowledge and address the emotions caused by others.
I think forgiving yourself might be an access point to cutting that cord 🤔🤔
👋Trust me, you just cant win, tried for years to reach people like that, just get as far away as possible from a toxic family and environment which will only poison your soul, it was a miracle that I got away, I now live with a beautiful view 🌄 with my Cat 😻 Honey, who has been more of a family to me than my whole family combined, wishing health luck and happiness, Love Edda 🌹♥️🌹
Thank you for sharing your story. It takes so much strength to walk away from a toxic environment, and I’m so happy to hear that you found peace and a beautiful place to call home.i wish you endless happiness, health, and love. Thank you for watching! 🙏bless you dear
This goes both ways - adult children can be extremely egoic and unconscious too and very challenging to be with.
Thank you for your insight!
They claim they're just trying to help. Perhaps themselves and not you
I appreciate you sharing your thoughts!
How to know when to leave toxic family?
The fact that you are asking
Means pull away slowly....
Use the psychiatric riule of 3
Is a clear way to know when to pause or emd a relationship with anyone.
@MjF809 he says awakening only happens in difficult situations so I am confused if you stay in toxic environment and grow spiritually or leave the toxic environment.
@@Rajjo15 i have the same problem, but also i am unemployed currently and also ill so that is the one more reason for me to not leaving. I just want to say that u are not alone and u will have to face problems wherever you go or whatever you choose to do and u will also grow , but it is up to you what kind of problems you want to face and grow yourself that way. For example family or any other person out side both can be toxic so it is up to you what you want to face , what kind of situation you want to handle both can be a lesson for you🙏
He is dead on regarding a shared past. You definitely must remain present to negate reactivity. When I sense where the person is and their attempts to draw me into reactivity, I 🚶
Thank you for sharing your insights! It’s so true that being aware of our surroundings and reactions can make a big difference in our interactions.
This was very reassuring.
Thank you for your kind words!
As others have mentioned: No need for added music; it is distracting. Thank you.
Thank you for your feedback, I'll keep that in mind for future videos!
Strongly agree!
I like the music
Totally agree...the cloying music along with the saccharine images of happy families that look as they are advertising something is very jarring
I like the music😊
I literally got brain damage and am physically ill after 35 years of toxicity since I was 1 year old. They are just gloating on the damage that they did and how I became a failure because this feeds their narcissism. This is why they prevented my growth and undermined my academic and music abilities. It is still difficult to detach due to how they enmeshed me so that I can waste my time on them. They only way I can defeat them is if I become financially successful, yet if they know about this they will seek to file a lawsuit to make me pay for all the rent I missed since I was born.
Thank you so much for sharing your story and for watching the video. I can feel the pain and struggle you've been through, and I truly admire your strength for continuing to move forward despite everything. It's heartbreaking to hear about the challenges you've faced, but please know that your worth is not defined by their actions or their words. Detaching from such deep-rooted toxicity is incredibly hard, but every small step you take toward your own growth and healing is a victory. Your talents and potential are still within you, and I hope you can reclaim them at your own pace, free from their influence. Wishing you all the success and peace you deserve. Take care of yourself, and thank you again for being here. 🙏
@@yourinnerchildmatters Thank you for helping people like myself. Thank you for your kind words and encouragement. Best of luck.
@@jacqueslee2592 Thank you so much for your lovely comment. It means a lot to know the video has been helpful to you. Your kind words and support encourage me to keep sharing content like this. Best of luck to you as well, and thank you for watching! 😊💖
Please don't take this as a criticism but rather something constructive - for a very brief few moments between the end of one music track to the beginning of another, it sheer bliss and I think others may have thought the same way.
Perhaps there's something to learn in that ❤❤❤
Definitely more challenging, particularly if the past is painful, it's unacknowledged by the perpetrator, and they exhibit the same behavior in the present.
As one person put it: "Cut you into ribbons and then ask what's wrong with you?"😳
Thank you for sharing your insight!
not reacting was not the solution in our family, it only increased being neglected and disrespected
Thank you for sharing your thoughts.
great video! i really appreciate the insights you shared. but honestly, i wonder if completely cutting off toxic family members is sometimes too extreme? i feel like there's value in trying to set boundaries rather than cutting ties completely. what do you all think?
Thank you for your kind words! I completely agree with you-boundaries can often lead to healthier interactions without having to sever ties completely.
Forgive them and then quietly walk away! Life’s short!
Thank you for sharing that wisdom! Your perspective is a great reminder for all of us to prioritize our peace.
Adding music really spoils this.
I appreciate your input, I'll consider it for future videos.
This video was created by "Your Inner Child Matters." There is little to no music in Eckhart Tolle's original videos.
great video! i really appreciate the insights shared here. but honestly, while i get that cutting ties can be tough, i sometimes wonder if we really need to go that far with family. isn’t there value in working through those tough dynamics instead? just a thought!
Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts and for appreciating the video! 🙏 You bring up such an important point, and I completely understand where you're coming from. Family relationships can be incredibly complex, and choosing to work through challenges is such a brave and meaningful path. Sometimes, though, certain situations may feel too heavy or harmful for someone, and taking a step back becomes a way to protect their well-being. But you’re absolutely right-if it’s safe and both sides are willing, working through tough dynamics can lead to growth and healing. Thank you for adding such a thoughtful perspective to this conversation. It’s a reminder of the beauty of giving relationships a chance while respecting our boundaries. ❤️
I'd really like a deeper understanding of this one. Parts are clear and other is unclear and requires more clarification.
Very very beautiful and intelligent talk.
Your appreciation means a lot to me, thank you!
Still The question inside keeps posing: couldnt they just choose to love me ?
Thank you for sharing your thoughts. It's important to remember that love can't always be chosen, but your worth is not defined by others' choices.
Of course they could but they chose the easiest path
The background music needs to be lower it is overbearing the speaker
I have to close my eyes while listening to this because the random video clips distract me. But thank you!
Sorry about that
This is so fucking sad on so many levels. If you have been empath that has poured to others their whole life, and work on yourself constantly, and continue to find people and family and friends that just refuse to wake up and work on themselves, their is truly only one option. Cut off.
It's definitely a tough situation when you care deeply for others but feel like you're not getting the same energy back. Sometimes, prioritizing your own well-being is the most important choice you can make.
Please dont add music! It takes away from listening, thank you.
(People can add their own….)
Yes please Eckhart
Your voice is perfect
The most peaceful vehicle for your messages
I too find the music very distracting from - your message 🙏💖
This is not Tolle’s website,. It could be editing done by the person who owns this TH-cam channel.
The more past shared with the human the more intense presence required
Thank you for sharing your thoughts! It’s always great to hear different viewpoints on the importance of presence in relationships.
How do I deal with really loud music over the speakers voice? How do I deal with lots of library video footage and loud piano?
Right!!! 👍
Absolutely correct. This video is destroyed by the music. I do not understand why anyone feels it great to do this.
What is the original video of eckhart tolle giving this speech please? thank you very much.
Rather have peace of mind instead of forcing a person to get along or act irrational
Absolutely! Prioritizing peace of mind is important for our well-being. It's better to focus on healthy relationships rather than forcing things that just don't work.
Thank you 👓
thanks for watching
If you accept abuse, guess what you will keep receiving?
Blessed for not one of the CATHOLIC family members communicate with me anymore😊...
I appreciate you sharing your experience! It’s important to find what brings us joy and to surround ourselves with the right people.
@@yourinnerchildmatters I stay alone and 🙏🙏🙏🙏.
"Being free of the ego".....people who think the ego is a bad thing don't understand that the ego is necessary to live this life. A healthy ego allows you to know you're not the other. People with narcissistic personality disorder have a broken ego, they don't experience the self. That's why they are in desperate need of others but in an extremely unhealthy and damaging way. People should stop saying "boo the ego is bad".
Thank you for sharing such insightful thoughts! It's refreshing to see someone emphasize the importance of a balanced ego in our lives.
@@yourinnerchildmatters ❤
Forgiveness is a tricky thing, because it's deeply personal. It's not always possible, safe, or self-loving to forgive, and forgiveness should not just be prescribed as a 'rule', or viewed as a necessary for our healing. Personally, I'm not interested in forgiveness. It's a red herring, and a distraction from the work we need to do to survive the injury caused. We will not find peace while we focus our attention and energy on the other. It's most often ourselves we need to forgive. Selling forgiveness as the essential, necessary route to recovery, is ill advised. People might SAY they forgive, hoping for salvation, when they are not ready, or it's not an appropriate situation to be forgiving.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts. I truly understand that forgiveness is a very personal and complex journey. It’s important to recognize that forgiveness is not a one-size-fits-all solution, and it’s okay if it doesn’t feel right or safe for everyone. Healing looks different for each of us, and focusing on our own well-being is what truly matters. Your perspective highlights how important it is to honor our own feelings and experiences. I appreciate your honesty and the wisdom you’ve shared here. Take care. 🌟
Does anyone know how I can find the original recording plz?
Why background music? Why so hight? I would like to understand.
Thank you for your feedback! I appreciate your curiosity and will consider adjusting the volume in future videos.
@@yourinnerchildmatters Thank you
@@lizielita likewise
@@yourinnerchildmattersadjust the volume to 0. It is totally unnecessary, it drowns out Elkhart’s voice and ruined the video. Sorry if my comment sounds harsh to you but you are playing music for your own pleasure and no one else.
Parents be like... It does make sense or not.... But we're right 🤥
Fascinating
Thank you for the kind comment! I appreciate it
The music is too loud!
interesting how I know someone that "follows" Eckhart, but they are so self absorbed and incapable of acts of compassion--though they talk a good talk, no walking the talk. I am not so evolved that I can be around them--it's too heartbreaking. Deceiving oneself has got to be one of the worst forms of hell. I have compassion but not the strength to see that.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts! It takes a lot of self-awareness to recognize those dynamics, and it's a reminder for all of us to strive for authenticity in our actions.
Hi, what do you do if they have victim mentality and you yourself has overcome it and want to change them because they come to you for their problems but they don’t want to do the work that you tell them to do
From which of his talks is this?
Very illuminating, thank you. I feel the video is distracting. The brain is focused on concentrating on what' s being said. At the same time, the video is telling a story, and the brain is being distracted with two different directions.
So what i gathered from this is essentially, i need to start treating my trouble making small minded step Dad like he is in a institution and am his carer. 😂 thats the polite way and in all honesty that would be much better for our relationship. Humor him and go along with it, and at the same time feel sorry for him 😂
Thanks for sharing your perspective on handling the situation with your stepdad.
Yea, Eckhart makes some very important points but he leaves out some practical realities. Meaning, yes you can take the test of being around them and be as presence; but to always be in an environment where you are being tested becomes very draining after a while. To have to be around someone who is toxic, ultimately is not healthy and very tiring. Better to spend time around people who you can be open and natural with; where there's not a perpetual test going on and where you don't have to see and regard the other's words, thoughts and actions as stemming from unconsciousness conditioning.
Exactly! @@songfantasy670
There always have existed people who had propensity for awareness, regardless of their demographic and conditioning. It’s not a new concept. Nor is the modern era more “evolved”. The human race births such members randomly and all across its many “cultures” as they are needed for survival and evolution of the species. The new age movement is not the significator of such people existing or evolving. Human nature is. One may or not be lucky to have one or both such parents- and even so, only oneself can grow and evolve from inside out, in which case adversity is the ultimate blessing and the ultimate teacher, much more so than any “aware” parent can be. The individual who chooses to grow will end up doing so regardless of their circumstances and will gravitate towards the collective human knowledge of how to do so. When the student is ready - the teacher appears. And yes, for some people these teachers can be their natural parents.
Your comment adds depth to the discussion on human nature and growth. It's great to see such thoughtful insights being shared.
That piano!!!🙄
In India they say, we are born with certain “ Sanskars “ ( values or personal traits)from previous births.. That’s why even some babies behave differently strange.
Thank you for sharing such an interesting perspective! It’s always enlightening to hear different viewpoints on the significance of our values and traits.
whas is the original video of this?