Avoid Energy Drain from Toxic Family Members with Eckhart Tolle
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 21 พ.ค. 2023
- 👉 How To Deal with Toxic Family Members Without Draining Your Energy
🎥 Our video today, is an eye-opening video that will give you everything you need to reclaim your identity and discover your inner peace, even if you come from a family with issues | toxic family members. Don't waste any more of your energy on toxic relationships; it's time for you to break away and grow. In this video, you discover effective communication strategies tried-and-true self-care approaches, and attitude improvements to help you manage difficult interactions with toxic family members. Learn how to express your needs assertively, set clear limits, and develop resilience in the face of hardship.
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🔔Credits: Very Special Thanks to
🎤 Speaker: Eckhart Tolle
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🔔 Who is Eckhart Tolle?
He is a well-known spiritual teacher, author, and speaker who is noted for his insightful teachings on presence, mindfulness, and spiritual awakening. His popular book "The Power of Now" has influenced millions of people, helping them to live in the present moment and attain inner peace. Tolle draws on a variety of spiritual traditions to provide practical guidance on transcending egoic thinking and embracing a more conscious and fulfilling way of existence. Eckhart Tolle has become a beacon of wisdom, inspiring people all over the world to live lives of greater awareness, joy, and spiritual harmony via his gentle and transforming teachings.
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Id rather be alone and in peace than be around interering and toxic family members,my wwll being comes first.
Thank you for sharing your perspective. It's important to take care of yourself first.
There was a quote I heard and the person I forgot his name but he said “ when we stop judging what we attract we stop attracting what we’ve judge.” But for me in everyone that “did something to me” or was toxic I had to admit that deep inside they were mirroring me in some type of way. The moment I stopped playing victim and called out what I attracted these individuals started disappearing. And we have to be careful not to keep bringing them up cause I find that people end up popping back up .
Thank you for sharing your insight and personal experience with us.
No contact is the correct answer
Thank you for pointing that out, sometimes a little distance can bring clarity and peace.
@@yourinnerchildmattersin highly narcissistic families, it is often best to make a complete and permanent break, I think.
He is absolutely correct. I was gone basically 30 years before I came back to live where I was born, reared, and grew up, and it was "the same old thing."
I stayed for nearly 5 years before I had had enough and relocated back to where life was better in every sense: Tennessee.
thank you for sharing your thoughts 💕✨💖
"Better get back to Tennessee, Jed." - Robert Hunter
I had the same experience
I love how his message is so down to Earth and neutral, yet the piano tries to add a layer of drama. Made me laugh a bit. 😂
They don't know that they are trapped in it. As my therapist put it, "it's normal to them."
Thank you for sharing that insight from your therapist. It's always eye-opening to hear different perspectives.
Ditto.
You cannot FORGIVE someone who never changes their BEHAVIOUR
Forgiveness is not for them or based on them changing their behavior. It's for your consciousness.
Forgiveness means accepting their level of consciousness. It's no longer personal. It doesn't mean you have to stick around bad behaviour.
You absolutely can and should. I had given up my mother, thought she was incapable of change. Then her mother died and something opened up in her. Then I realized an important truth: Never judge anyone too harshly because 5 years from now they may be enlightened.
Nonreactive is right. My now deceased father made a remake which was designed to upset me. It was clear that he hadn't changed and thought I was the same.
I looked at him, turned my head, then turned my body, and walked away. As I was boarding my car, I see him peripherally staring and speechless. I entered my car, seat belt, ignition, and drove away.
That would be the last time that I would see him in reasonably good health. The next time he was incognizant due to ministrokes. I left his hospital room and never went back. 1.5 years later, I relocated back to Tennessee.
About 1 year after that, he passed away. I didn't return to Maryland for the funeral.
While he was my father and there is love there for that, our relationship lacked any real quality otherwise.
It sounds like you had a complex relationship with your father. It's important to prioritize your own well-being and boundaries.
Not complex if I understand your use of the word. In retrospect, it lacked depth ultimately because he did. Excluding ageing, he never changed. And while in some respects he was beginning to awaken, I would say easily 97% was the same.
The Buddha puts it this way: "Many will grow old in years and also grow old in vain."
That is a perfect example of my father.
"Forgive them because they don't know"... ❤❤❤
"Thank you so much for watching. Yeah, Forgiveness is a powerful virtue that allows us to let go of negativity and find peace within ourselves. It's true, sometimes people may not fully understand the impact of their words or actions, but by forgiving them, we can choose love over resentment. Let's continue spreading compassion and understanding in this world.
Sending you lots of love and gratitude! ❤️❤️❤️
from Your Inner Child Matters
Bless u ❤️ much love 🎉
This is the part that stood out to me the most. They don't know ... :(
Sure they never know?
Maybe some sometimes hurt others because it's their own free will. Because beside of our conditionings and genes we probably have a free will.
Bullshit! They know.
Especially when I try to walk on a spiritual path and practicing méditation but impossible if I live with a toxic family. This is why I will live on my own
Thank you for sharing your experience. It's inspiring to see your dedication to your spiritual path.
@@yourinnerchildmatters thank you, the most difficult part is to sacrifice my lovely cat because I can't take her with me. It's ok. I'm ready to anything for living fully my life 🔥
Forgive them, for they don't know any better.
And also know when to get away permanently.
It’s not about forgiving them it’s about how to fill the void within u
Thank you for sharing your perspective. It's a valuable reminder to focus on self-care.
Adding music really spoils this.
I appreciate your input, I'll consider it for future videos.
This video was created by "Your Inner Child Matters." There is little to no music in Eckhart Tolle's original videos.
Thank you really helps seen this within my birth family feel like drifting further away the healthier ive become had so many toxic behaviours that worked on changing within myself. What I couldnt see is now very clear patterns playing out . I have become none reactive just have firm boundaries and time with them.
Thank you for sharing your experience. It's inspiring to hear how you're prioritizing your health and growth.
@@yourinnerchildmatters we can all only change ourselves long journey to realising this. Thank you for your kind response
Another lovely attempt from our "Inner child", but clouded by Eckhart's mystical charm. Our "nuclear" families or even rarely assembled "extended" families of origin are mere recent artifacts of our ancestral clan social structures, in which our Hunter-Gatherer ancestors thrived for tens of thousands of years when we were "conditioned" right down to the gene level for success in the natural environment, now long gone. We are fish out of water and our disconnected, alienated nuclear families of the diaspora are the closing chapter in the human experiment. What could go wrong? Everything? Stress R Us
Also it’s not about forgiving anyone
It’s about what to do with the pain they gave you
The pain keeps you reminded of them and keeping the cord attached
Thank you for sharing your perspective on forgiveness and pain. It's important to acknowledge and address the emotions caused by others.
He is absolutely correct regarding presence with parents and why it's required even the more: the past, at least mine, is littered with a lot of painful experiences, painful words and actions that require one to be deeply rooted and grounded in mindfulness, otherwise, unconsciously you will think you are reliving one those events right then there and will react.
For me, after I saw that it was still the same old thing, I did the conscious thing and distanced myself, accepting that, parents or not, some people don't and will not change and I must make self-care the priority.
Consequently, I distanced myself and eventually relocated back to Tennessee, but with new insight and the fortitude that their presence in my life is not a requirement for my happiness 🙏
It's important to prioritize self-care and set boundaries in relationships that may be toxic or damaging. Your well-being should always come first.
Amen. Well said.
It's better to be healthy and alone than unhealthy with someone.
The primary lesson that I left with is this:
Just because they are family, it doesn't mean that the relationship is mutually beneficial.
I spent a wonderfull time with my unconscious wealthy parents who aged and no longer felt a need to judge, and were just needing my unconditional love and compassion after over 30 years of absence.. ❤
Thank you for sharing such a touching experience. Family bonds are truly special.
How to know when to leave toxic family?
The fact that you are asking
Means pull away slowly....
Use the psychiatric riule of 3
Is a clear way to know when to pause or emd a relationship with anyone.
@MjF809 he says awakening only happens in difficult situations so I am confused if you stay in toxic environment and grow spiritually or leave the toxic environment.
@@rajjo18 i have the same problem, but also i am unemployed currently and also ill so that is the one more reason for me to not leaving. I just want to say that u are not alone and u will have to face problems wherever you go or whatever you choose to do and u will also grow , but it is up to you what kind of problems you want to face and grow yourself that way. For example family or any other person out side both can be toxic so it is up to you what you want to face , what kind of situation you want to handle both can be a lesson for you🙏
Very very beautiful and intelligent talk.
Your appreciation means a lot to me, thank you!
As others have mentioned: No need for added music; it is distracting. Thank you.
Thank you for your feedback, I'll keep that in mind for future videos!
Is it possible to forgive parent for her continuous harming behaviour? She is manipulative
Dear TheScapegoatedMiddleDaughter,
Thank you for sharing your personal experience and reaching out on this delicate matter. I'm sorry to hear that you're dealing with such a challenging situation. Forgiveness can be a complex and deeply personal process, especially when it comes to forgiving a parent who has consistently displayed harmful and manipulative behavior.
I believe that it is important to remember that forgiveness is a journey that varies from person to person. It's not a requirement, and it's okay if you're not ready or able to forgive your parent at this moment. Your emotional well-being should always be your priority, and sometimes establishing boundaries or seeking professional help can be part in dealing with manipulative behavior.
And the decision to forgive or not forgive is yours alone. It may be helpful to engage in self-reflection, seeking therapy or counseling, to understand your feelings and explore the opportunities for healing and growth. Remember that forgiveness does not mean forgetting or condoning the harmful behavio, it's about finding peace within yourself.
Remeber that you're not alone in this journey. There are support networks and communities available to provide guidance and empathy. Surrounding yourself with understanding and compassionate individuals can make a significant difference in your healing process.
I wish you courage, clarity, and a willingness to manage this difficult situation with self-care and resilience.
Take Care,
Your Inner Child Matters
If you dont mind, i want to add how forgiveness works. True forgiveness is when you go beyond the conditioning of your mind and the other person condioned mind and realize that you and that person who wronged you are one and not separate. That means you don't confuse what the other person do with who they truly are. Who they truly are is already inseparable from who you are( you are one). What they did to you is a form of unconsciousness which they couldn't help it themselves and they were completely trapped in their conditioned mind. they couldn't act beyond their level of consciousness. When people talk about forgiveness, they literally approach it on the mind level and i don't personally fault them for that because on the mind level, its a never ending cycle of trying with effort to forgive someone over and over again and it seems impossible. By simply transcending your mind the other person conditioned mind and not confusing who they truly are with their behaviours , you bring peace within yourself and that's true forgiveness and its natural and organic and you dont have to acquire it on the mind level because you are the forgiveness . In other words we can say there is nothing to forgive because forgiveness is what you are in your true nature. The moment you stop believing the narrative in your head about people or situations, thats acceptance and This does not mean you should approve what the other person did to you or continue to like what the other person does, you can allow your conditioned mind to do its own thing without identifying with it. You recognize that whatever is happening, whether good or bad is just part of the whole. Dont even try to force yourself to forgive someone, because that would be your mind. Remember who you really are and you are not your mind. The moment you realize that, forgiveness happens naturally without effort.
That brings me to next question, if these toxic people are doing these horrible things to others , are they responsible for this?
Whether they are responsible for this or not, this does not mean they dont suffer the consequences of their actions which in this morden age is called karma. They do suffer the consequences of their actions and that suffering will lead to an awakening for them.
Hope this helps❤❤✌
As long as you feel hurt you won’t feel like forgiving even if you try to force yourself to a forgive her. Taking care of your wounded self, going through the pian, and acquiring new emotional resources (healthy self esteem) will allow you to have the enough amount of detachment to be able to forgive easily.
Yes but at a distance. You have to protect youself first. Do not put yourself in positions that are mentally emptionally harming
If theres a way to move or change the place with maybe putting limits please do but if no try to learn how to accept to shift the energy inside you so the outside shifts all peace all love
Parents be like... It does make sense or not.... But we're right 🤥
Thank you 👓
thanks for watching
I'm sad to see how these awful people continue to get a pass for their behavior..what about the ones the leave abused and traumatized? who grow up to have kids, and sometimes it just keeps going..its just a cycle, a nasty cycle. That's why a therapist will always have a client list.
and..They do know...they don't care.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts. It's important to shed light on these issues and work towards creating a healthier environment for all.
Hard to get away because I’m dependent on them
❤
It’s been a long time since I listened to Tolle.)
Thank you very much! 😊
〰️➿➰😘
Same ☺️👍💓
Thank you for watching
thank you forwatching
Please dont add music! It takes away from listening, thank you.
(People can add their own….)
Yes please Eckhart
Your voice is perfect
The most peaceful vehicle for your messages
I too find the music very distracting from - your message 🙏💖
This is not Tolle’s website,. It could be editing done by the person who owns this TH-cam channel.
I love him
What about CHILDREN, stuck in this loop of PROBLEM PARENTS and their TOXIC parenting????
Still The question inside keeps posing: couldnt they just choose to love me ?
Thank you for sharing your thoughts. It's important to remember that love can't always be chosen, but your worth is not defined by others' choices.
not reacting was not the solution in our family, it only increased being neglected and disrespected
Thank you for sharing your thoughts.
Here is an example that just came back regarding their conditioning. Long story short:
My surrogate brother said something to me out of surprise regarding my attire. My response was, more or less, that was applicable when I was a child.
Later, I thought about it and concluded that, if he still thinks that I think like that (when I was a child), what does that say about the way that he thinks now?
So when he says that they are trapped in it, he is absolutely correct.
It's interesting how our past experiences shape our perceptions. Thanks for sharing!
Absolutely correct. And if we don't become aware of that, we will remain in that mode all of our lives. That's not hypothetical. I have seen it with my own eyes.
25 years had past since I last saw this one guy. In those 25 years, I had served in the military, was discharged, earned a B.A., an M.A., would have my doctorate if I had chosen to finish but had a career change, state employee now and when I saw him 25 years later. Have a good and self-sufficient life.
What was he doing? The same old thing: leaning on this walk and watching traffic go by. Watching the sun come up and watching the sun go down.
True story.
Why background music? Why so hight? I would like to understand.
Thank you for your feedback! I appreciate your curiosity and will consider adjusting the volume in future videos.
@@yourinnerchildmatters Thank you
@@lizielita likewise
Sometimes the real human being is even worse than his/her external conditioning.
Our ancestors had not this much freedom of speech like today. They didn’t have time for awakening.. Religion and politics had many restrictions.
I'm grateful for the opportunities we have today to discuss and debate important topics openly.
Hollywood has changed the psychology of modern generation. 50s and 60s had different ways of thinking.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts! It's interesting to see how media and entertainment can shape our beliefs and behaviors over the decades.
can I ask how so? (as one of the younger generation)
❤
thanks
"They are manifesting their conditioning."
And ultimately, that's all it is, and you don't change what you think is normal. Why should you?
Thanks for sharing your thoughts, it's interesting to see different perspectives on conditioning. bless you
B
❤️🍀💐
💖 💖💖
So you just put up with their CRAP. NOT ANYMORE.
This vid cant help someone with narcissistic environment
maybe you talk to fast lol - not
The music is intrusive, distracting… as if Tolles words were not good enough. Whose ego is adding this horrible, unnecessary musical accompaniment???!
It’s not always the parents who are toxic. The current trend to blame the parents for everything is not a one size fits all.
That’s not what he is saying