And not 'stopping and/or blocking, hindering each other b/c he is insecure, immature or having a one track mind- thinking hes the only one that can achieve and make good things happen
Mistake: I felt I needed to make life easier for him, so when he would offer to fix things for me, I would say, “oh no, don’t worry about it. It’s on the list”. I realize now it would be great for him to do things for me. My happiness and his accomplishment would be a win-win. I tend to try to make things too easy. Doesn’t work.
I am only 24 but my advice to women is to be a little selfish, pursue yourself and a man will pursue you, develop and emerge yourself in your own interests and hobbies and he will look for your attention, that's what i do
It's good that you're wise at a yojng age. Yes, when you are young, focus on yourself. Grow a career, build up a bank account. Dont look for a guy. Let him look for you and prove himself to you. With the tips here, you should be good
@@SLB_888 a man has been looking for my attention for the past 10 months because I don't give it to him, I don't chase him and guess what I'm low key in love with him 😂
I'm staying single until a man is ready to step up and take his part in a relationship. I had a true man. I refuse to settle for less anymore. I'm blessed that he left me with this lesson before he left this earth. ❤️
Good for you for not compromising. I am sorry for your loss but it seems like you had a one in a million man and I so understand your position. Stay single and enjoy your life my friend.
This applies to friendships, as well. I've recently ended several uneven female friendships and the relief was nearly euphoric. NEVER give more than you're gettin'.
I was a "project" for so many men that I am DONE with dating forever! Not one of them wanted me as I am, they all wanted me to change and to fit their ideal woman or ideal fetish in some cases. And I am not better, I dated a man I liked but who wouldn't commit, and he told me he wouldn't but I refused to accept it and kept relationship going while he was like "ok, but I will never marry you or live with you or even go somewhere for weekend with you". And I was stupid believing that will change! If a man tells you something about him that you don't like, f***ing believe him! Don't waste years and years of your previous life believing her will get to love you so much he will change. He won't.
I just listened to another TH-camr short the other day that said, “When a guy tells you something about hisself early on in a relationship, BELIEVE HIM”. Heed this advice! Guys love to jokingly or bragging etc tell on their self when getting to know a girl. It’s our job to listen to him, believe it about him while realizing just because he’s with us, we’ll never have to worry about that. This one piece of advice can save a lot of disappointment and heartache in the long run!
I'm happy married now and it was a long journey. First, be yourself. Don't ever try to be the perfect woman because of fear to lose somebody. Second, if a guy says or shows who he is, believe him. And third, a man won't change for you, only for himselves if he wants to. And finally attention doesn't mean intention. Only if a guys shows interest it doesn't mean it will last or go further. Only if you make baby steps towards each other and build something together it will work. All the best to you ladies ❤
Sorry you had to go through that. You only held on because you were in a vulnerable place. Happens to the best of us. Don’t be hard on yourself You deserve better and you’ll get better
Thank you for the advice sis❤ Also please don't be too hard on yourself, we all make mistakes. The important lesson is we learn from them. Sending you hugs🫂
I was dating a man, and I saw some red flags, and we talked about two issues; his over the top vulgarity and temper. He says he rarely cusses and doesn’t yell in anger. Fast forward 3 months and I broke it off when I witnessed his anger and hate (and always the vulgarity). And yes, he was yelling when I said I see no future with him. He said (yelled) I was too picky, being unreasonable and that I was looking for a Saint!
If only we had You Tube and Brian many years ago. Oh the mistakes I’ve made! Trying hard to change at the tender age of 70. So glad I found you Here Brian.!Thanks everyone for sharing your comments.
A man who is rude to his partner in social situations is either trying to isolate her from a potential support system (Abuser 101) or paving the way for a breakup where he can tell everyone what a terrible person she is and they will be inclined to believe it.
He literally asked for my help, and I did become his coach. It didn’t end well, as he started to take me for granted, and make excuses for his low effort behavior. I had to end the relationship, but learned a valuable lesson.
Very useful info! We women really are doing too much and regardless if it's out of love (and/or a desire to be loved) he's so right; LET HIM do the work, let him struggle, let him fail and learn, let him grow by not trying to jump in and help him. They get so much more self esteem when they are left to sink or float - let him swim! Let him pay, let him work hard, let him plan, let him wonder, let him deal with you investing in yourself more and him less, let him invest in you! Let him grow
another good one. I always thought unconditional love was the perfect thing to give a man. My husband of 25 years responded well to it I suppose, but, being single again, with your help, I finally understand that that principle should only apply to your children. Thank you for all your videos. I think I have listened to every one of them now. You have taught me how to treat myself well in all cases and, in the process, require a certain level of respect and care from a partner. I am happier every day than in my previous year of being newly single.
I lost weight, got into gaming, begged, bought him everything he wanted and he still treated me like I was nothing. As soon as I moved on and met someone else he came back begging for me.
@@EdelweisSusie He will be reminded he must settle for less lol! But honestly I’ve got too much going on in my life to worry about that. My mom always taught me even before I was married, to never leave the house without your make up done.
To be happily married in life - both partners should be attracted to each other, both should have good temperament, both should be practical, both should take responsibility for raising kids, household chores, healthy living and finances.
It’s definitely a “give and take” situation: I was happily married for 51 years and we worked at being considerate towards each other. One great piece of advice my mum gave to me was……”Never go to bed without settling an argument.”
The most useful thing i ever learned was never to believe that you are “not right”. You MAY be not right for HIM, that’s just life, move on. And the people i know who did this, didn’t change themselves or compromise too much, and often waited into their 40s or even 50s to commit to someone, theyre the ones who have the equal, supportive relationships that i envy. Also, the “you’re not responsible for his happiness/ personal growth” thing goes both ways. If you are leaning on a man to make you happy, you’re putting him in a role he never wanted or asked for and the chances are you’ll both be less happy for it.
"Never accept emotional unavailability." Absolutely right. I had a boyfriend like that and then the next boyfriend was the opposite. I married the second boyfriend and when I think of how barren and lonely life would have been had I married the first, I feel so grateful for the husband I have now. If I had continued with the unavailable guy, I never even would have met my husband.
I just chose the guy who is the best in character! Loves me too much! And we are together for 21 years already. And he takes care of me, bakes for me! And works hard for our future!
Wow! This really hit home. Because I did keep giving him chances because I kept thinking he loves me he'll change he'll treat me better. No! It did not happen! I should have left years earlier! Don't do it ladies! Leave as soon as they start treating you like s***! Don't let him continue to treat you like s*** and you keep thinking oh that's the last time they won't do that again. Yes they will! Leave!!!
During my 17 yrs marriage, there was no Google no TH-cam and as far as he was concerned I just needed to Obey him in everything and things would work out! The more I submitted the more he took me for granted and was unfaithful. Tough lesson to learn after 17 yrs n 3 children. Better alone. 26 yrs single.
in my twenties, I did exactly what you said. I wanted him in my life so I decided to take a liking to sports what a waste of time looking back, to date still dislike sports. Now, I see it this way, is this guy is going to enhance my life if not he has to go. What he brings to the table, are we compatible, if not he has to go. If it is not working before, I emotionally invest on the guy or get attached to the idea and not the person sitting across front of me. I do not try to fix anything that does not require fixing. It has worked for me, less stress, less drama and everything in between. I love to listen and let the guy speak and it never fails, they will tell you who they truly are. With that information I make my decision basis on the information he has shared with me
Brian, you are wonderful and so full of knowledge in your videos. I hope and pray the people listening to you will actually take your advice, especially the young people out here. Most people do have to make their own mistakes to learn; however, I’m 58 and have learned a lot of these lessons the hard way and if you’ll do what Brian is suggesting, you won’t compromise yourself. Watching people that appear to be selfless, always looking out for their loved ones and friends may look admirable but in the end, it will cost them their very self. I’m not saying to be self-serving and only look out for number 1. Life is give and take but if you tell your guy what you like or your deal-breakers (boundaries) and you treat him they way you’d like to be treated such as attention, respect, consideration etc, and you are not met with the exact same thing, you need to take a step back and clarify. NEVER think that it’s all new and time with you will have him meeting your expectations. Time DOES NOT change who he is. If anything, the behaviors will get worse. Don’t shortchange yourself. Think of dating like an interview and don’t give him a call back. You will eventually meet someone that will love you for you - not a cliche - this is the truth. Trust me - just keep looking, they are out there ❤❤❤❤❤❤
@Brian Nox - We stay to the end of your videos, because we enjoy your content and love watching you! You are so fluent in sarcasm it is wonderful haha! Much Love, Anita xxx 🏴🌹 🇬🇧😘 🤗.
Thank you so much for all your good advice. Listening to you has made me realise that I need to stop trying so hard to please someone else and just be myself. After all, I want someone who loves me and not the person I'm pretending to be just to please him 😊
Always listen until the end 😊 you are an oracle and honestly if it wasnt for you i dont know that i would have been able to call time on a 25 year relationship as i KNEW i deserved better....partly thanks to you xxxx
I love it when you say 'seriously' as if you can see me laughing out loud, you crack me up you are so funny.No other motivational speaker has ever made me laugh the way you have.love your awesome content I am always excited when I get a notification because I know it's going to be good.
It’s an odd truth that the more I told him what makes me happy-and what doesn’t-resulted in him telling me he loved me, sincerely, which he wasn’t doing before! This video is the best I’ve found on this subject.
2:05-2:11 real stood out to me. I broke up with my ex after he sexually assaulted me. I told him he was a creep and a predator. He was like, “I know I did SA you but I’m not those names!” Like sunny boy, that’s not how it works 😂
My last relationship got clarity around the division of mental and emotional labor-once I introduced him to using chat gpt to go to for his own personal growth. It helped him understand he wasn’t ready for a relationship and that helped me see that I was doing too much (and he acknowledged he leaned too hard on me). Now we are rebuilding a friendship based on who we REALLY are, not what we thought we were supposed to be. We are both late diagnosed, so unlearning the past and learning accommodations for our current selves has been so helpful in keeping healthy peace during the growth.
You know Brian, I ve read many books, but your book about high quality women, changed me, I still read the summary I made, and I use it when I want to know what to do and how to act. Very very very useful book
"His growth is his responsibility." Sign of incompatibility: the narcissist accuses you, "you've changed," & you silently retort, "and you haven't." You are learning, growing & evolving. He isn't.
Thank You 💕 Brian… You Can’t make Someone Love ❤️ You… Once I was with a man that did an Engine change… Yes he ended up with a few Nuts & Bolts left over 🤦🏾♀️😂🤦🏾♀️😂 Have A Blessed Week Ahead 🥰
Good video. “Believe what you see and make adjustments accordingly.” Dr Les Carter. And, “We must not confuse the good command to love, with the bad realities of enabling behaviour we should never tolerate.” Lysa Terkeurst
OMG. The first topic was a question I had about friendship. How on earth did the algorithm know I had this question. Thanks, Now I can give up on a false friendship.
We started as friends, and he wanted all of the knowledge I had from the work I'd done. We got close and into a situationship. Big mistake on my part. I didn't expect to fall, but I did. We are roommates, and now he's distant and avoidant. He hid it well for a while. He doesn't want to do the work these days. I'm radically accepting him where he is as his friend, but his way of life is no longer in alignment with mine. I love him, but I can't do this anymore and am waiting for the day for my exit plan! He's going to have a very lonely life...
Very important points, I am fully an alien to dating, have been married for 19 years and has been 4 years from divorce, it have been struggling, it is more likely that the world of dating is full of men who love women that can please them in what they want, i have dignity for myself and don’t want to turn myself into someone else
I made all these mistakes too! My first husband died when I was 55. We had been happily married for 31 years. I made all these mistakes with my new second husband. Now I’m his caretaker. Learning to be better at 70. Wish I heard all this sooner. Thanks, Brian!
Such a great advice and always explained easily. I wish more women would follow it so that most men will have to improve. I feel men got way worse than before the digital age came in right because the allegedly women equality meant women now give everything to a man without having to work for it and yes I mean also intimacy because regardless of how feminists want to see it, there is a difference btw men and women when it comes to sex. Complaining a man just want sex and keeping seeing him is in itself the reason why he does that. Don’t do it and apply Bryan advice and either he has to live up to your standards or you know his true cards.
I was shocked once, when my late husband and I and an older woman were sitting at a table at a bar where a dance was going on. He and this older woman were talking about something and I chimed in to be included in the conversation. My husband looked at me and said "Fuck you!". I was shocked, he'd never talked to me like that before! We had only been married 6 months! I got up, put my coat on and walked home. The next morning I told him that if he ever talked to me like that again--i would go no where with him! He never did again, but he never said he was sorry either! My comment into there conversation was nothing to get upset about. He never did tell me why?
Thank you for teaching us and in a funny manner too. It takes effort to make the videos. I have bought your books a good long time ago but didn't put them into practice until I looked into myself and am just starting to realise some of the truths you share with us in the videos! 😮😮😮😂😂
Very good points but these should be common sense. I never tolerated anything I didnt like and would speak up about it. The only one take away for me was the lingerie story. Thats a really good point. Instead of trying to get his attention with what he likes be happy with what you like... thats what made him like you.
Most modern women seem to be clueless where men are concerned. They are often just trying to meet their own needs and don't make the effort to understand how giving consequences improves a relationship.
Hi! I think that many of us doesn't know how respect from others and self respect looks like. So, if you could do a podcast about that, would be wonderfull, I guess.
Personally i do think giving people an other chance is okay BUT !!!! I go by these rules, if it was a small mistake i will give a couple of chances but once i notice it is a pattern and the person isnt trying to fix it i am out When it comes to a big mistake i give the person one chance and after that absolutely none If it something REALLY BIG like emotional and physical abuse i am out immediately I believe every person can change and should even get the opportunity to learn from their mistakes and make ammends but for thah to happen the person needs to take ownership of their mistake and should actually try to make it better so that the behavior will not happen again
He makes me feel like I’m crazy. I’ll ask a question or want to talk and he calls it arguing. I pick up on people‘s vibes and he’s hot and cold, he’ll be open one day and go silent the next. So I’m an emotional roller coaster. I try to mention it and I just get a confusing answer. Maybe I need to move on.
Yes. That's gaslighting. Look up Darvo, it's a well known technique to make you more on board with him running things his way without meeting opposition. I learned the hard way to recognise it.
‘If someone shows you bad behaviour, expect more of it’ so true 😔
"A relationship should be about supporting each other not fixing each other" ✨️
And not 'stopping and/or blocking, hindering each other b/c he is insecure, immature or having a one track mind- thinking hes the only one that can achieve and make good things happen
Mistake: I felt I needed to make life easier for him, so when he would offer to fix things for me, I would say, “oh no, don’t worry about it. It’s on the list”. I realize now it would be great for him to do things for me. My happiness and his accomplishment would be a win-win. I tend to try to make things too easy. Doesn’t work.
Oh men love to be useful and needed, I let the men in my life do the things I don't wanna do
100%
Thank you. Really helpful❤
@@Assia131 So true!
Men like to take care of a woman!ILet him take care of you!To me it’s the best aphrodisiac!
I am only 24 but my advice to women is to be a little selfish, pursue yourself and a man will pursue you, develop and emerge yourself in your own interests and hobbies and he will look for your attention, that's what i do
You are truly blessed to know this at your age!!
It's good that you're wise at a yojng age. Yes, when you are young, focus on yourself. Grow a career, build up a bank account. Dont look for a guy. Let him look for you and prove himself to you. With the tips here, you should be good
@@SLB_888 a man has been looking for my attention for the past 10 months because I don't give it to him, I don't chase him and guess what I'm low key in love with him 😂
I wish I had your wisdom at 24!
I’m 34, and I can confirm this. Excellent advice!
I'm staying single until a man is ready to step up and take his part in a relationship. I had a true man. I refuse to settle for less anymore. I'm blessed that he left me with this lesson before he left this earth. ❤️
I'm sorry for your loss 😢
Good for you for not compromising. I am sorry for your loss but it seems like you had a one in a million man and I so understand your position. Stay single and enjoy your life my friend.
❤
A man who is always rude to you in social situations does not love you. Leave the relationship ASAP.
Big red flag absolutely. Why would you ignore it
This applies to friendships, as well. I've recently ended several uneven female friendships and the relief was nearly euphoric. NEVER give more than you're gettin'.
We outgrow friendships over the years. It just happens, no one is at fault.
Well said.
Really Not in my nature to keep count :/
I needed this info when I was 18…it would have saved me a lifetime of abuse. 💔
I was a "project" for so many men that I am DONE with dating forever! Not one of them wanted me as I am, they all wanted me to change and to fit their ideal woman or ideal fetish in some cases. And I am not better, I dated a man I liked but who wouldn't commit, and he told me he wouldn't but I refused to accept it and kept relationship going while he was like "ok, but I will never marry you or live with you or even go somewhere for weekend with you". And I was stupid believing that will change! If a man tells you something about him that you don't like, f***ing believe him! Don't waste years and years of your previous life believing her will get to love you so much he will change. He won't.
Same here. 😊❤
I just listened to another TH-camr short the other day that said, “When a guy tells you something about hisself early on in a relationship, BELIEVE HIM”. Heed this advice! Guys love to jokingly or bragging etc tell on their self when getting to know a girl. It’s our job to listen to him, believe it about him while realizing just because he’s with us, we’ll never have to worry about that. This one piece of advice can save a lot of disappointment and heartache in the long run!
I'm happy married now and it was a long journey. First, be yourself. Don't ever try to be the perfect woman because of fear to lose somebody. Second, if a guy says or shows who he is, believe him. And third, a man won't change for you, only for himselves if he wants to. And finally attention doesn't mean intention. Only if a guys shows interest it doesn't mean it will last or go further. Only if you make baby steps towards each other and build something together it will work. All the best to you ladies ❤
Sorry you had to go through that. You only held on because you were in a vulnerable place.
Happens to the best of us.
Don’t be hard on yourself
You deserve better and you’ll get better
Thank you for the advice sis❤
Also please don't be too hard on yourself, we all make mistakes. The important lesson is we learn from them. Sending you hugs🫂
I was dating a man, and I saw some red flags, and we talked about two issues; his over the top vulgarity and temper. He says he rarely cusses and doesn’t yell in anger. Fast forward 3 months and I broke it off when I witnessed his anger and hate (and always the vulgarity). And yes, he was yelling when I said I see no future with him. He said (yelled) I was too picky, being unreasonable and that I was looking for a Saint!
Of course it's an old hag like you who has a problem with "vulgarity"
So according to him, the the opposite of vulgarity and yelling is sainthood? Lol, what a clown!
Good for you for putting your foot down and saying no to such rottenness.
Does he even know that even you’re looking for a saint there’s literally nothing wrong with it?
Narcissist
I wish I could have shared this video with a younger version of myself! Not a second of this video is fluff - straight facts the whole video!
If only we had You Tube and Brian many years ago. Oh the mistakes I’ve made! Trying hard to change at the tender age of 70. So glad I found you Here Brian.!Thanks everyone for sharing your comments.
A man who is rude to his partner in social situations is either trying to isolate her from a potential support system (Abuser 101) or paving the way for a breakup where he can tell everyone what a terrible person she is and they will be inclined to believe it.
That was my first marriage. Marriage number two, got it right.
Truth!
He literally asked for my help, and I did become his coach. It didn’t end well, as he started to take me for granted, and make excuses for his low effort behavior. I had to end the relationship, but learned a valuable lesson.
Very useful info! We women really are doing too much and regardless if it's out of love (and/or a desire to be loved) he's so right; LET HIM do the work, let him struggle, let him fail and learn, let him grow by not trying to jump in and help him. They get so much more self esteem when they are left to sink or float - let him swim! Let him pay, let him work hard, let him plan, let him wonder, let him deal with you investing in yourself more and him less, let him invest in you! Let him grow
another good one. I always thought unconditional love was the perfect thing to give a man. My husband of 25 years responded well to it I suppose, but, being single again, with your help, I finally understand that that principle should only apply to your children.
Thank you for all your videos. I think I have listened to every one of them now. You have taught me how to treat myself well in all cases and, in the process, require a certain level of respect and care from a partner. I am happier every day than in my previous year of being newly single.
I lost weight, got into gaming, begged, bought him everything he wanted and he still treated me like I was nothing. As soon as I moved on and met someone else he came back begging for me.
I hope you laughed in his face and walked away.
@ I didn’t laugh because I’m better than that. I just moved on. 💖
@@EdelweisSusie He will be reminded he must settle for less lol! But honestly I’ve got too much going on in my life to worry about that. My mom always taught me even before I was married, to never leave the house without your make up done.
I hope you said NO.
@ oh no. He lost all chances because even though he wanted to come back, he did not change at all.
To be happily married in life - both partners should be attracted to each other, both should have good temperament, both should be practical, both should take responsibility for raising kids, household chores, healthy living and finances.
It’s definitely a “give and take” situation: I was happily married for 51 years and we worked at being considerate towards each other. One great piece of advice my mum gave to me was……”Never go to bed without settling an argument.”
The most useful thing i ever learned was never to believe that you are “not right”. You MAY be not right for HIM, that’s just life, move on. And the people i know who did this, didn’t change themselves or compromise too much, and often waited into their 40s or even 50s to commit to someone, theyre the ones who have the equal, supportive relationships that i envy.
Also, the “you’re not responsible for his happiness/ personal growth” thing goes both ways. If you are leaning on a man to make you happy, you’re putting him in a role he never wanted or asked for and the chances are you’ll both be less happy for it.
I absolutely love the way you use humor to emphasize your points.
And they are always spot on and resonate ! 😊
A relationship must be supporting each other not fixing each other, very true
"Never accept emotional unavailability."
Absolutely right. I had a boyfriend like that and then the next boyfriend was the opposite. I married the second boyfriend and when I think of how barren and lonely life would have been had I married the first, I feel so grateful for the husband I have now. If I had continued with the unavailable guy, I never even would have met my husband.
I just chose the guy who is the best in character! Loves me too much! And we are together for 21 years already. And he takes care of me, bakes for me! And works hard for our future!
Wow! This really hit home. Because I did keep giving him chances because I kept thinking he loves me he'll change he'll treat me better. No! It did not happen! I should have left years earlier! Don't do it ladies! Leave as soon as they start treating you like s***! Don't let him continue to treat you like s*** and you keep thinking oh that's the last time they won't do that again. Yes they will! Leave!!!
Every single video you make is so enriching and comforting. Your advices are pure gold, thank you so much !
Supporting each other - not fixing each other.
Great words. Thanks.
This is perfect! I needed to hear this 17 years ago 😢.. but SO glad I'm hearing it now. Thank you !
During my 17 yrs marriage, there was no Google no TH-cam and as far as he was concerned I just needed to Obey him in everything and things would work out! The more I submitted the more he took me for granted and was unfaithful. Tough lesson to learn after 17 yrs n 3 children. Better alone. 26 yrs single.
Igual que yo
in my twenties, I did exactly what you said. I wanted him in my life so I decided to take a liking to sports what a waste of time looking back, to date still dislike sports. Now, I see it this way, is this guy is going to enhance my life if not he has to go. What he brings to the table, are we compatible, if not he has to go. If it is not working before, I emotionally invest on the guy or get attached to the idea and not the person sitting across front of me. I do not try to fix anything that does not require fixing. It has worked for me, less stress, less drama and everything in between. I love to listen and let the guy speak and it never fails, they will tell you who they truly are. With that information I make my decision basis on the information he has shared with me
Brian, you are wonderful and so full of knowledge in your videos. I hope and pray the people listening to you will actually take your advice, especially the young people out here. Most people do have to make their own mistakes to learn; however, I’m 58 and have learned a lot of these lessons the hard way and if you’ll do what Brian is suggesting, you won’t compromise yourself. Watching people that appear to be selfless, always looking out for their loved ones and friends may look admirable but in the end, it will cost them their very self. I’m not saying to be self-serving and only look out for number 1. Life is give and take but if you tell your guy what you like or your deal-breakers (boundaries) and you treat him they way you’d like to be treated such as attention, respect, consideration etc, and you are not met with the exact same thing, you need to take a step back and clarify. NEVER think that it’s all new and time with you will have him meeting your expectations. Time DOES NOT change who he is. If anything, the behaviors will get worse. Don’t shortchange yourself. Think of dating like an interview and don’t give him a call back. You will eventually meet someone that will love you for you - not a cliche - this is the truth. Trust me - just keep looking, they are out there ❤❤❤❤❤❤
Oh my gosh! I absolutely love your down-to-Earth, practical advice! What a treasure you are to us all! Blessings, Wave
Thank you - this was a really good reminder. I've done most of these things at one time or another, and it's good to recognize that they won't work
You are very kind to Women, thank you.
@Brian Nox - We stay to the end of your videos, because we enjoy your content and love watching you! You are so fluent in sarcasm it is wonderful haha! Much Love, Anita xxx 🏴🌹 🇬🇧😘 🤗.
Thank you so much for all your good advice. Listening to you has made me realise that I need to stop trying so hard to please someone else and just be myself. After all, I want someone who loves me and not the person I'm pretending to be just to please him 😊
Partner not project! Awesome.
Always listen until the end 😊 you are an oracle and honestly if it wasnt for you i dont know that i would have been able to call time on a 25 year relationship as i KNEW i deserved better....partly thanks to you xxxx
I love it when you say 'seriously' as if you can see me laughing out loud, you crack me up you are so funny.No other motivational speaker has ever made me laugh the way you have.love your awesome content I am always excited when I get a notification because I know it's going to be good.
It’s an odd truth that the more I told him what makes me happy-and what doesn’t-resulted in him telling me he loved me, sincerely, which he wasn’t doing before! This video is the best I’ve found on this subject.
2:05-2:11 real stood out to me. I broke up with my ex after he sexually assaulted me. I told him he was a creep and a predator. He was like, “I know I did SA you but I’m not those names!” Like sunny boy, that’s not how it works 😂
My last relationship got clarity around the division of mental and emotional labor-once I introduced him to using chat gpt to go to for his own personal growth. It helped him understand he wasn’t ready for a relationship and that helped me see that I was doing too much (and he acknowledged he leaned too hard on me). Now we are rebuilding a friendship based on who we REALLY are, not what we thought we were supposed to be. We are both late diagnosed, so unlearning the past and learning accommodations for our current selves has been so helpful in keeping healthy peace during the growth.
Thank you for your service to humanity with these videos, we should all know this and someone has to say this! Again, thank you!
Wish I had known these things a bit earlier than at 35
You know Brian, I ve read many books, but your book about high quality women, changed me, I still read the summary I made, and I use it when I want to know what to do and how to act. Very very very useful book
Thank you for being here for us!
Thankyou Brian ❤ You saved me & helped me gain a lot of clarity even when I knew what was happening..but now I'm putting a fullstop to it
Thank you so much for your time, this has really helped me as I navigate dating after being with my late husband for over 50 years!
❤ me too!
Me too! It hasn't been easy. Be careful of the predators. They're out there, and they can be oh, so charming!
@@melaniedeare5427preach!!
A lot of wisdom in this video. Kudos to Nox!
"His growth is his responsibility."
Sign of incompatibility: the narcissist accuses you, "you've changed," & you silently retort, "and you haven't."
You are learning, growing & evolving. He isn't.
Excellent video!! One of your best!
You have just earned yourself a follower❤
Very helpful and insightful. Every woman should listen to this!
Quite the same things when it comes to friendship:)
I absolutely appreciate this channel…
Very informative, witty, and alluring…
Thank you so much…
I always stay till the end…
😊
I really admire your talking and how you explain everything clearly
Thank You 💕
Brian…
You Can’t make
Someone Love ❤️ You…
Once I was with a man that did an
Engine change…
Yes he ended up
with a few Nuts & Bolts left over
🤦🏾♀️😂🤦🏾♀️😂
Have A Blessed
Week Ahead 🥰
Good video. “Believe what you see and make adjustments accordingly.” Dr Les Carter. And, “We must not confuse the good command to love, with the bad realities of enabling behaviour we should never tolerate.” Lysa Terkeurst
I love Dr. Carter! If only I could have found him 50 years ago.
@lillianbarker4292 me too
Hey Brian, I still love your video’s every time I watch them….keep on with them!!!!❤
OMG. The first topic was a question I had about friendship. How on earth did the algorithm know I had this question. Thanks, Now I can give up on a false friendship.
We started as friends, and he wanted all of the knowledge I had from the work I'd done. We got close and into a situationship. Big mistake on my part. I didn't expect to fall, but I did. We are roommates, and now he's distant and avoidant. He hid it well for a while. He doesn't want to do the work these days. I'm radically accepting him where he is as his friend, but his way of life is no longer in alignment with mine. I love him, but I can't do this anymore and am waiting for the day for my exit plan! He's going to have a very lonely life...
What, exactly, are you waiting for? DO IT NOW.
@sballantine8127 it's not that simple. Finances. Or I'd be gone.
Good timing
I've made all these mistakes down the years, so I can guarantee that you're absolutely correct. 💯% 😉
Geert, you are adorable. Thank you for continuing to put out wonderful content on dating advice. Your videos are comprehensive and insightful!
Very important points, I am fully an alien to dating, have been married for 19 years and has been 4 years from divorce, it have been struggling, it is more likely that the world of dating is full of men who love women that can please them in what they want, i have dignity for myself and don’t want to turn myself into someone else
You are a very wise man! Thank you so much!!!❤
Great video Brian!!!! ❤
Excellent advice here!
I did these mistakes... is there any way for us to work? I learned my lesson and i'll respect myself
I made all these mistakes too! My first husband died when I was 55. We had been happily married for 31 years. I made all these mistakes with my new second husband. Now I’m his caretaker. Learning to be better at 70. Wish I heard all this sooner. Thanks, Brian!
Thank-you for your timely advice always ❤❤❤
Yes....I was viewed as 'too capable'
Such a great advice and always explained easily. I wish more women would follow it so that most men will have to improve. I feel men got way worse than before the digital age came in right because the allegedly women equality meant women now give everything to a man without having to work for it and yes I mean also intimacy because regardless of how feminists want to see it, there is a difference btw men and women when it comes to sex. Complaining a man just want sex and keeping seeing him is in itself the reason why he does that. Don’t do it and apply Bryan advice and either he has to live up to your standards or you know his true cards.
Thanks. I really like what you shared here 😊
This makes complete sense. So practical! ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
Perfect timing. To the second.😂 👍thank you!
I've never regretted being single. 😂
I was shocked once, when my late husband and I and an older woman were sitting at a table at a bar where a dance was going on. He and this older woman were talking about something and I chimed in to be included in the conversation. My husband looked at me and said "Fuck you!". I was shocked, he'd never talked to me like that before! We had only been married 6 months! I got up, put my coat on and walked home. The next morning I told him that if he ever talked to me like that again--i would go no where with him! He never did again, but he never said he was sorry either! My comment into there conversation was nothing to get upset about. He never did tell me why?
Thank you for teaching us and in a funny manner too. It takes effort to make the videos. I have bought your books a good long time ago but didn't put them into practice until I looked into myself and am just starting to realise some of the truths you share with us in the videos! 😮😮😮😂😂
Best dating video ever
Very good points but these should be common sense. I never tolerated anything I didnt like and would speak up about it. The only one take away for me was the lingerie story. Thats a really good point. Instead of trying to get his attention with what he likes be happy with what you like... thats what made him like you.
Thank you. This is very helpful. I also like your accent and your enthusiasm.
The whole bitter truth wrapped in a bundle
Brian you are a wonderful teacher. Every lesson you give us is at point. Love it so much ❤
Great advice, wish i knew all that 40 years ago.
I love you Hiirt!! I really love how Ur on OUR side! And really, your advice is right on the money. Thanks for the reality check. ❤🎉😊
Another great video…. Thank you.
Most modern women seem to be clueless where men are concerned. They are often just trying to meet their own needs and don't make the effort to understand how giving consequences improves a relationship.
Fantastic analysis
Thank you Sir!
This is the most challenging dating advice I have ever received. Wow
I always loooooove your videos
Thank you for sharing!
Great message!
💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛
Beautifully great video. The advice are on point.
Hi! I think that many of us doesn't know how respect from others and self respect looks like. So, if you could do a podcast about that, would be wonderfull, I guess.
I LOVE THIS and NEEDED this!!!!❤❤❤
Love your advice ❤
I needed this video today! 🙏🏼
Love this Brian thank you so much love Donna ( Sydney Aus) xx
pure gold ❤ thank you, Brian!
thank you.. i love your content and have been following you since 2022 ❤
Personally i do think giving people an other chance is okay BUT !!!!
I go by these rules, if it was a small mistake i will give a couple of chances but once i notice it is a pattern and the person isnt trying to fix it i am out
When it comes to a big mistake i give the person one chance and after that absolutely none
If it something REALLY BIG like emotional and physical abuse i am out immediately
I believe every person can change and should even get the opportunity to learn from their mistakes and make ammends but for thah to happen the person needs to take ownership of their mistake and should actually try to make it better so that the behavior will not happen again
Brilliant and spot on!
Just a third a the way through this video and it's *brilliant* and beautifully explained.
He makes me feel like I’m crazy. I’ll ask a question or want to talk and he calls it arguing. I pick up on people‘s vibes and he’s hot and cold, he’ll be open one day and go silent the next. So I’m an emotional roller coaster. I try to mention it and I just get a confusing answer. Maybe I need to move on.
Yes. That's gaslighting. Look up Darvo, it's a well known technique to make you more on board with him running things his way without meeting opposition. I learned the hard way to recognise it.
@ oh wow. Thanks!
Amazing!!! 👏👏 Thank you!!! 🤗😁💕🎉🎉
I luv the part of, "he is on probation!!" 😂😂 Genius!! 👍😁🎉🎉🎉