The trap alcohol sets for you is that by the time you realize your severe anxiety is a direct result of your alcohol abuse, that anxiety is nearly too powerful to cope with-- drinking is the only thing that quiets it. That's how I lost years to alcoholism: treating my anxiety with an anxiety-inducing agent. If you drink when you wake up to treat the anxiety caused by your hangover, seek help sooner rather than later.
I feel like I beat this by having chronic fatigue so anxiety does almost nothing to me it’s just a little easier to get out of bed with anxiety And most importantly someone told me early on once you start drinking in the morning you’re already dead so I’ve never drank in the morning even once it’s part of how I justify my slightly excessive drinking like I sometimes drink about 30% more than what is harmless
You perfectly described a lot of daily cannabis smokers also. They however mostly is in denial since "you can't get addicted" and "weed can't give you mental problems".. I just shake my head and laugh.
I didn't even drink a high volume nostalgia of the time, but this point is what led me to putting down the sauce. My day to day anxiety was just too much of a problem, I'd tried sleeping more and excersising, which helped, but still the anxiety persisted. About to hit 1 year alcohol free in 4 days. Night and day difference.
If you’re an alcoholic you’re an alcoholic, there is no sugar coating it with sensitive wording. It’s a daily battle I struggle with and I always have to fight that little voice in my head telling me “you’ve done so well, surely you can have one night to drink” I realised I had a problem when I noticed I can’t just have one or two drinks, one sip and I’m all in to get hammered. 2 months sober now and I still have to remind myself not to listen to the demon within.
can you fix this though? why do i always have to get so hammered. had a glass of wine last night before my friends came to pick me up for halloween and i woke up at the hospital. what is wrong with me?
Sorry if already mentioned. Other red flags I learned: go to different liquor stores every day as not to make it "too obvious." Not being able to walk away from a half finished drink. Making up excuses for earlier drunk fits like: "oh, that was only once. No biggie." Calculating alcohol intake on a party so to act engaged but keep up appearance you are in control, only to "catch up" when you get home and are alone. And BC's other vid: "I'll stop on Monday."
I remember the exact point I was seeing friends in London and thought 'hey, I don't need to wait till the weekend to do the rest of my heroin! I can just do it now before the train home!' And yeah it wasn't long after that...
This is the problem with only 1 recreational intoxicant being legal there’s better drugs you can’t developed a dependence if you always switch drugs either there’s better drugs for a hang over you’re not doing the best option with alcohol to treat a hang over you’re choosing the worst possible option because it’s obvious based on your options
This video made total sense to me. I started drinking around the same age as you. Back then it was "Normal" to drink with your mates get home, pretend to your parents that you were ok, go to bed and wake up the next morning with a massive hangover the following day. There was always alcohol around. I used to go and stay with my grandparents at the weekend and they always had a decantor of whiskey and sherry in the kitchen. I always used to have a few gulps when i was a teenager. When i got to 26 i was drinking alone and i can relate to the walking and drinking part of your story. I used to love walking around the city with a bottle in my rucksack and going to see things like the museum or just take it all in while drinking. Getting well into my 30's thats when i started hiding bottles of spirits around the house. Into my late 40's thats when the withdrawals started really taking there toll on my body. I would have to take days off work just to recover. Now in my 50's i realise that i am not a responsible drinker and that i can't kid my self anymore. I stopped on the 29th April and so far its going OK. I do not have a choice, i had to stop the withdrawals were getting too bad (Theres a good reason your channel is called Bat Country after all). If i dont keep off the spirits i'm going to end up dead or in prison. Thanks for your videos they really help to keep my resolve and understand where i've been and the kind of person i want to be in the future. They remind me of why i'm sober and want to stay that way. Thanks
Hey CJ, good to see you again and congrats on putting the bottle down. Stick with it. And yeah, I'm both pleased and saddened that you get the Bat Country reference. That level of withdrawal takes a huge toll, we incur a debt every time we go through it until it leaves us with nothing. Keep us updated mate, best of luck
My dad is an alcoholic, I've never been drunk in my life, drank a few sips here and there when I was a teenager, since I'm 18 I'm not drinking at all, as I know I'm at risk genetically. I go to Al Anon and AA meetings regularly or watching videos like yours just as a prevention as I feel there is something deep down in me, that could become an alcoholic or even is one as you defined it very well here. Thank you for spreading awareness!
First of all I‘m not claiming anything, I was just sharing my personal experience and wanted to shed light on forms or rather seeds of addiction that simply exist. Secondly, I assume you are not familiar with the AA programme as such, but in the preamble it states: The only requirement for membership is a desire to stop, regardless of amount etc.
Having a few drinks so you can get a good night sleep, turns into staying up so you can keep drinking. It's so silly it makes me laugh. The dumb traps we lay for ourselves. It's got a slapstick quality to it, like stepping on a rake.
Having a nihilistic disposition makes this so much worse... And once the buzz hits the 'why does it matter' mentality comes. I've ruined so so many days this way. It's so depressing
💯 percent right on I too at my teen years added all my parents alcohol to one jar and drank it down. I had to in order to go out and be social. Looking back I remember my first drink and thinking, "this stuff is magic" until later in life when the toxic shit turned on me. So many black outs. My life is so much better sober.
Hey Mary! I want to talk about that bit in particular, the drinking to be sociable, in the future, so stay tuned because that's a big one. Thanks for the comment, I appreciate it a lot!
Excellent video. Thank you for posting it. I quit drinking nearly 16 years ago at the age of 18 as a version of withdrawals set in. I had a couple of relapses early on in my 20s when I was still very impulsive. However, I’ve been fully sober for 11 years now, and I'm married with three wonderful children. I’m praying for all of your success and peace.
U pinpointed exactly where I'm at. The alcohol has surpassed my original issues and now its the alcohol itself that is the main problem in my life. Which I have been "treating"with more booze. Luckily something clicked in my head and I'm 8 days sober as of today. The most I've had in like 3 years
Quit over 2 memorial day weekends ago. Been to rehab, recovery, center. Now i need my daily message , not to tell me to dont drink. But a reminder of where i came from, where i was, and keep me from straying. As well as im not alone. This messgae is for msny peopl like me
I'm addicted to your stories of despair and finding your way back. I'm taking it very carefully, one day at a time, as I have a huge tendency to self-sabotage when things are going well. I'm approaching 2 years come November 1, I'm sticking to my program as my life depends on it. Just purchased your audio book as well. Prayers to all who are struggling.
I've often thought that among my mates from our early years It was always gonna be me,and was. Now I work on staying sober. It's early days,sort of but I'm on the case. Thanks for this and good luck and best wishes to all who are struggling.
I am so pleased I found your videos, they have helped me enormously the last few days of dread because I knew the end was round the corner. I started Detox (community based) today and will be returning to your page throughout the week. Thank you kindly for making things so clear.
Hey Ian! Thanks so much for the comment, I'm happy these videos have connected with you. Congratulations on making the difficult changes necessary in your life, it's all better from here. Good luck in detox, I ope you have a good experience, and long may your sobriety continue.
Another great video. I used to love to pick up beers from the offie when I finished late at my job in the cinema in Russell Square and walk back to Waterloo, have more on the train journey and crash out when I finally got home. Looking back that was when my mental health really took a dive, but I never made the connection at the time. I lost years to depression and OCD as a result, well and to the hangovers. I've definitely been on the edge of the precipice you describe, drinking doubles on shift at work because I feel so anxious from my hangover. I was lucky to find a new job where I can't possibly get away with drinking on shift or heavily the night before, otherwise not sure where I'd be now.
In the recovery journey, I've found that you become much more aware of yourself and your environment - you become a more stable and knowledgeable person. It's also good to hear from others in recovery because too often it's a treated as a taboo topic that brings unnecessary shame to those trying to get off alcohol.
I heard someone say that alcoholism is the only disease that makes you a better person when you're cured than you were when you started. I like to think that's true.
I was born in the mid 70’s. My age group women were part of the ‘ladette’ culture. Not many of my mates don’t have an issue with alcohol whether it’s now being sober or still struggling. If only I knew then what horror awaited when I was pouring back all sorts of everything and the way it would take hold. I’d never have gone near it. Pain, misery, losing nearly everything and then finally redemption. Been a long journey. Thanks for the vid 🙏🏽
Ahh I lived in Brighton around the same time and had a similar experience of accommodation! Although it was the drug dealer in the flat below who died! I developed the start of an alcohol use disorder around that time. Later I managed to settle into a healthier pattern with drinking and drank less and less until eventually in 2020 it just wasn't worth it anymore. Really feel like sobriety is truly living! Would never go back.
I don't know how many times I had bought a bottle of whiskey, drank half in one night, then woke up disgusted with myself and poured the remaining half down the sink drain and swear it off. Only to be in the store 2-3 days later buying another bottle.. thinking this time it could be different. Ugh..wth.
Super perspective. It’s in the eye of the beholder. Definitely on point, it’s the “medicine” but as a wolf in sheep’s clothing! We’re taught from an upping age to avoid pain and difficulties in life. If more people understood that pain is a mechanism to healing, maybe we would face our struggles, sober, and not ever see it as “medicine” but the poison it really is. Really enjoy your vids, especially how relatable they are. No gimmicks, click bait etc etc, just quality content that so many can benefit from 🙏🙏🙏
I love listening to you., I also liked walking - going for a codiewomple and getting smashed was great. always an adventure and some weird stuff always ensued. I came home with a chicken (live) once ! I dont touch the booze now, sailed close to the wind, started drinking massively (spirits cmae into the show) to manage anxiety in my early 40s but then realized on holiday after stopping daily drinking, that the anxiety was from the daily drinking. , lager free beer saved my skin, gave me the pyscological reward to limit feeling like I was missing out and denying myself. keep on keeping on.
I started to drink 7 years ago to fight my social anxiety, at age 23. At first I only drank before major social events or before a date and all that. So I could be calmer and more confident. Or normal, so I thought. Then it slowly started to be before work or to be with friends. I needed the booze to feel like a normal person. If sober, the anxiety was now worse than ever. From that it progressed to everyday, regardless of anything social related. That's the point where I realized I had been an alcoholic all along these past years. For a long time I said to myself I only drank because of social anxiety, negating I had a problem with the alcohol itself. But everyday is a social day if you are an FA, so I had the excuse to drink everyday. It was when I quit my job that I was confronted with reality. Even staying at home doing nothing I still felt the need to heavily drink all day long. Right now I'm trying to quit because I think I finally kindled myself. Still mild, I believe, but regardless of that, this shit scares me too much and I better quit before I get in serious trouble. I fucked up most of my 20s and I don't want to waste my 30s. But I can't deny I'm hoping to unkindle myself somehow and come back to drinking in my late 30s. I hope to get over it, but for now that's how I cope with all of this sober mess. Thank you for your videos man, I'm watching all of them.
Yes quit quit quit -- never go back -- believe me it only gets worse -- I'm 50 - so believe me it's never ok -- you'll have a beautiful future if you Quit
for all the "not sure if I'm an alcoholic" alkies out there.. i was 26, married & had had a couple scary blackouts & over the course of a few days had asked my wife (an R.N.) every day whether or not she thought i was an alcoholic? & tho she didn't really have an answer, it finally ocurred to me that, "you know Carl, anyone who has to wander around for days asking themselves whether or not they think they're an alcoholic, geeze, that person is probably an alcoholic.." & when i brought this new found revelation to my wife, her response: " yeah, i was waiting for you to come around to that answer on your own.."
Interesting. My mother had serious alcohol use problems, she was non functioning in the world. Her father also had problems but he coped better with functioning in the world. I was brewing my own booze at boarding school, age about 14. I have had bad hangovers, that's why I quit the booze, but I don't think I have had withdrawal. Home from work and needing the drink, alone, just to reduce the stress. I am not sure about the threshold part, not my experience, but I get it. I just think I am different. 9 months sober.
15:00 Hey, this part of the video gave me serious pause. When I’ve come off of alcohol I get the worst hangovers despite my constant day drinking-to the point where I’ve wondered if it’s withdrawal or not. I know “worse” alcoholics than me (as you said in another video, an alcoholic=an alcoholic no matter what) “There’s a chance you’re watching this video because you’re wondering about it yourself, and if you’re wondering about it you have crossed over.”
Thank you so much for this video. I feel like going on a long speal but I'll resist. Your videos have came into my life at the right time and I'm grateful for you & your channel. Kindest regards from Ireland. All the best :)
Thank you Conor, I appreciate the comment, and we're all here if you need us. Oh and if you ever want to go on a speal, this is absolutely the place to do it - that's what I'm doing anyway! Keep us posted on your progress mate.
I'm a big fan of the channel now. Binged all the alcohol vids last night. I noticed your highest viewed vid has a very vibrant blue thumbnail with a really good font choice. I thought that would be worth mentioning. Looking forward to more data and stories. Thanks.
Thanks mate! Yeah that's my favourite video, but I can no longer recreate that look because I moved apartments right after I filmed it. I haven't quite figured out my thumbnails yet :)
A very confronting yet necessary video, Stuart. With me, it all revolves around that first sip, then off to Everythingturnstoshit land I go. A colab with Slayer would be great. Keep up the great work, sir.
What a great video Bat Country. I can totally relate to the items you discussed. I agree that the term alcoholic just draws people to a conclusion off the bat. I believe there are different levels of alcoholism but I’m conscious that I’m only one bad moment to losing control. For me I never enjoyed alcohol but would just drink it fast. This year I have been reflecting as I didn’t realize I had a problem but started analyzing some of my behaviors, drinking faster and faster, hiding alcohol, drinking alone more often than not. But because I am a highly functional person, like you said alcohol was my medicine. Had a great day something to celebrate let’s drink, had a bad day let’s drink too. My ah ha moment or epiphany was when I couldn’t stop thinking about drinking when I tried to stop in January. I agree with all the points you made. Thankfully, I have not gotten to that threshold BUT I’m pretty sure that will end up being my life. So I’m focused on stopping to avoid that. The thought of never drinking again is scary so I’m focused on each day. Hopefully I will stop thinking about it. First time I’m commenting sorry for the rant. I hit subscribe. I started my self-assessment with LD, then Slayer, followed by shades, and now you. Thank you for sharing your story and helping spread the word of the dangers this poison can cause. Stay strong, someone in FL appreciates you! 💜
Oh and I only made it sober in January. I have tapered off but continue to have moments where I find myself drinking. Like I’m a robot buying the booze. But im going to figure this out.
@@Micru866 Hey Micru, thanks for the comment and you never need to apologise for a rant on this channel - that's largely what it's for :D It sounds to me you might have caught it early, and like every disease, that makes your prognosis better in the long run. I try to resist actually giving advice, but I'd say that the thought of not drinking ever again is a BIG hurdle. It was for me. But once you get through that, the idea of a life without alcohol starts to be quite exciting, quite energising. Once you've started to get comfortable with all the time you suddenly have on your hands, you'll wonder why it was scary in the first place. Keep us posted on your progress buddy, we're all here if you need us.
Your definition of alcoholism is 100% on point. I call it the homer simpson syndrome. "alcohol - the cause of, and solution to, all of lifes problems" Ive found myself pondering that very comment many times after a binge.
I drink after work on Fridays until around midnight on Saturday. I usually pass out early hours Saturday morning, wake sat up on the sofa and then start again until I pass out. From waking on Sunday I don’t touch a drop until after work the following Friday. I have done this alone nearly every weekend for 20 years. I know it’s an issue but I can’t explain why it hasn’t escalated past that. The build up to starting drinking on Friday at 6pm is still something that excites me. Should I get help?!?
Your definition of the threshold in my opinion, is almost frightening in its accuracy. You brought up a couple of things such as testing the bottle to see if there’s even a taste left in it and that’s stuff I always thought I was hiding from the world. I’ve been through the very same points as you have, sir. I’ve been through the hard withdrawals where I almost wished to die. I’ve almost torn my family apart. I’ve sold things that were invaluable just to get another bottle. I’ve gone to work under the influence. I’ve drank on my way home and I have a commercial license, so my clean standing is paramount! I’ve defended my drinking, I’ve let down my wife, kids and friends. I came around a couple years back and admitted the fact that I had a problem and was certainly in need of help. I went to a 21 day inpatient rehab, learned a ton there and I truly loved the experience. I’d put alcohol down for a month and a half, the longest I’d ever gone since I started drinking at about 14-15. I was 40 at that point. I came home clean, I was so happy and full of life and then I drank again, under the idea that I’d see if it even tasted the same. And here I am again, 3 years later, picking up the pieces yet again. It’s a hell of a rollercoaster ride, but in the end I’ll know it was worth it.
I've been battling my own issues with alcohol over the past year, that and a nasty cocaine addiction. I'm really enjoying these videos, it's nice coming across a small channel when so much of TH-cam has been taken over by ads. Your delivery of these videos is refreshing, I've only just got up to the part where you talk about scraping vomit out your window (really made me laugh), but the starting young thing, that certainly resonates with me. We were out getting paralyitc in parks on the weekends by the time we were 15 - 16. Fast forward twenty years and I've almost certainly reached the point where I'd consider myself an alcoholic; hiding bottles, putting wine in metal water bottles to hide it, lying about it etc. Things that I'm not particularly proud of I have to say. Keep up the good work dude.
such a great video man...started to drink at the same age as you...pretty much all similar... but one day I woke up with that poisoning near death hangover shite, stood up and fought against the demons...three years sober now, and I am 39... what hurts is the 20 years gone and possibilities unrealised and screwd... but that is not the way to go... with this newly given life we are given the new chance to make a difference.so let's do this.one soul saved from this torture is better than none... great content dude'...keep it going!jura
Congratulations on your sobriety mate, long may it continue. And yeah, all that wasted time is a real burden, especially because in sobriety I've begun to see what I was always capable of. But onwards and upwards. That you for the comment.
@@_BatCountry yeah i get it...same here...full potentials are unlocked in many ways...never give up...maybe it should have been like this,who knows...keep the great message out there!thanks
This makes total sense, once I have to drink to kill the pain of drinking I’m locked in again. It usually lasts months or years before I can stop, absolutely miserable.
Thanks mate. I so appreciate your self honesty and your compassion. Your videos allow me to self reflect on my relationship to alcohol use. Thanks so much.
when i turned 18 i started drinking since i could buy my own alcohol (i used to never drink before that). during 2 yrs (especially during my school yrs) i used to be drinking like theres no tomorrow. i used to crave it all the time (alcohol use disorder + adhd runs in my family) i was very afraid that ill fall into the rabbit hole but this yr, after turning 20 in february i started taking psychiatric medication for my adhd and it made me hate alcohol and stopped all the cravings. i have a very addictive personality and im glad i didnt develop alcohol use disorder. hope you are doing great, whoever is reading this :)
I just discovered your channel amidst a bad binge. You describe things very well and this, I should hope, is about to help. At the very least, thank you for your honesty
I agree with the threshold definition, ide say im very close to that piont. Also for me its when you add up the dry days in a month, 4 out of 30 isn't good
Thank you for your videos. One more I would like to suggest to be watched out for: If your first time or first times drinking were to excess. That's a very strong indicator and something I hear of very often in recovery rooms. If you are reading this and think you have an issue, please reach out. By definition we are not equipped to deal with this problem ourselves.
Very good! Exactly spot on, I ended up having a seizure and spent two weeks hallucinating in hospital having a medical detox. That was in March and I’ve still not properly recovered from it now. If you feel like you’ve got a problem dont let it spiral out of control like me. Catch it early so the withdrawals aren’t too dangerous. The withdrawals if caught early enough are pretty shit for a few days but not too bad. The feeling of relief is awesome when you wake up feeling normal (been through it a few times)
I would rather die than go through the aftermath of a bottle of cointreau. I imagine it's similar to after Jäger. Vile stuff. I took a strange pride in sticking to mid-tier spirits, even if I'd never want anyone knowing I was drinking. I'm a year on from quitting and, after two relapses earlier in the year, I feel like I'm through the worst. I'm acutely aware that I could slip at any time, especially with the liquor store across the road from work, but I have a set of key things I remind myself to fight the urges. It's working so far.
God bless you. Drinking and walking alone observing the world. It's not romantic it's some sort of escapism. Cbt has really helped and I'm recovering. X
Thank you for your content! I enjoy it so much ❤ 5. I started drinking when I was 12. From the first time on, I would get black out drunk because I simply couldnt stop. Growing up on a small farm in Germany, it is not uncommon to start that early. Alcohol was everywhere and we even had our own distillery in the farmhouse. 4. Alcohol use disorder can be found in my family big time and I developed a high tolerance early on. I was known to be a good drinker and drinking companion. 3. Im unsure about the withdrawal one. I think Ive had cravings that were intense, meaning I was extremely nervous and shaky. 2. I started drinking alone in my mid-20s. Somewhere in my mid-30s I started drinking daily, mostly alone. Im 39 now and in a very unstable recovery. 1. Well, yes, the vicious cycle of problems and alcohol. Its a fucking demon.
Thank you for this. I find it relaxing listening to you talk. And i like the music you play in the background. So much of this resonates. And i remember my own ‘threshold’ moment well.
Thanks Allison! Yeah that's the tone I'm going for: kind of relaxing background podcasty style recovery videos. It's harder than it sounds, given the nature of the topic. What was your threshold moment - if you don't mind me asking?
Love this, because when we're talking about someone who smokes, we don't go ahead and say he's a smoker right off the bat, etc... Excellent, thank you for your amazing video! Nice listening, too, the accent (I'm American lol), and articulate, pleasant disposition! 😀
Absolutely interesting video. I’ve had a problem with alcohol all my life. Your video had me recall a distant memory. I was quite sick and constantly coughing. My bedroom was in the basement under my parent’s bedroom. So obviously they were more annoyed than caring about my well being… Out of character my dad brought me a butter rum toddy (i.e. he NEVER took personal care of us kids). It knocked me out. I think i was about ten years old. It’s up there with putting brandy in a baby bottle.
For me it’s realizing that I have little power over it - how easy it is to relapse against my better judgement - the act of not being able to prevent a relapse - by deluding myself into thinking I can have just one and then a week later I’m up to 4 - that is scary
I remember being at a new year's party back in 2009, I was still young then, and all I kept hearing from people the day after was "ive never seen anyone able to hold their booze as well as you". And comments like "we thought harry was going to bed, but he was going for another beer!". I didn't realise at the time, but these people were pointing out, subtly, that my drinking was abnormal. Already. I was 21. I had already gotten a taste for it and nothing was stopping me I'm also of Irish stock and alcoholism is rife through both sides of my family, along with mental illness which obviously doesn't help either.
Wonderful, clear and honest vid. Can relate to some of your points. Checked DSM5 as a result, but 'only' a score of 3 out of 11. Still, being here and listening to you tells more than that...
Yup, yup, yup and yes! You got it pal hit the nail on the head for me at least in your definition. Different journey but same end point although there are some interesting relatable parallels to your experience particularly the ‘Flâneur’ or Dérive’ aspect where I fancied myself a visual poet roaming cities in Osaka, London or Hong Kong with a pocket beer or something stronger topping up at family mart or where ever unaware of the shadows closing in around me.
I recently had a short stint in a psych ward. I had relapesed and had two beers. I disclosed that i was an alcoholic to my doctor in there, and i assume he heard the word alcoholic and assumed the worst. I was woken up every three hours to test how bad my "alcohol withdrawls" were for over four days when i haven't had a drink in years
I'm new on my sobriety journey. I'd like to add an another warning sign. I can't say for certain whether it's a red flag of developing addiction or a risk factor. The thing being the feeling of a significant rush of euphoria from the first drink. Apparently it's not supposed to be as intense as I have it. For me it's so intense that I might seem drunk from the first drink, even with high tolerance. It makes me, momentarily, incredibly relaxed and almost lethargic. It's so debilitating for me that when I used to drink socially, I would go through the euphoria alone, before anything. The trap for me came in when I, suddenly, stopped getting the euphoria and I would binge, trying to reach that rush again. I typically did reach the rush.
Pretty good definition. For me I felt like I was sick with this, when I felt likenit almost killed me several times and made me feel ashames of what I had done the day before, ywt was going back to it because I felt like it was part of me and a normal activity in life.
i am watching this video because, while i do not currently have an alcohol problem, i am acutely aware that i am at risk. i grew up very close with my grandfather, who is an alcoholic. his behaviors soured me towards drinking as a whole, and i remained completely sober until i was 20, past which i have maintained a rule of only ever drinking socially. at 20 though, i began smoking cannabis. smoking isn’t drinking, so surely that was fine. flash forward three years, and you could sub out “drinking” with “smoking”, “alcohol” for “weed” in many of the points you made, and they still fit the bill. i have recently recognized that i have a problem and have begun the path towards fixing it, but i’ve noticed in the meantime that i socially drink far more often, and in greater amounts. not concerning amounts, and never alone, but i’ve noticed that i am subconsciously allowing myself to swap one vice for another. i want to make sure i don’t cross that boundary. that’s why i’m watching.
Thanks for this. For what it's worth, replacement therapy is fine as long as you're replacing a bad thing with a less bad thing. Alcohol's worse than weed, straight up and without ambiguity, so be vigilant. I know this is going to sound suspiciously like 'have you tried mindfulness,' but loads of people i know how quit weed replaced with yoga. I dunno, tbh you don't sound like you need advice, but keep us posted anyway.
@@_BatCountry i really appreciate the response! i mostly commented just in case anyone was here for similar reasons, but i appreciate the advice nonetheless.
I relocated from being a bartender in the city to store manager in the suburbs during covid, and when I had a few months off and was drinking every night like i was out at the bar my now other half realised there was something wrong. I didnt understand because it was city culture, bartender culture. Id drink every day and go out till 4am every night. Every night. I went stone cold sober after many arguments, and ended up with enflamed thyroid glands due to who knows how long ongoing dehydration and then withdrawl. Im now on a path, an unsteady one. We have a rule where i can have beers in spain once a year on our holidays. And i stay sober the entire year otherwise. Im on year four and all seems well. Justnl thought id share.
I wholeheartedly agree with your definition. I have been trying to convince myself that I'm an alcoholic/abnormal drinker for the better part of 15 years now. It sucks because every time I get a bit of extended sobriety, I begin to miss the carefree, fuck-it-let's-party" feeling of getting obliterated, whether alone or with others. It feels like I'm denying my true nature and I mourn the loss of a part of my authentic self. And I convince myself that I can be more careful *this* time. Yet I am simultaneously forgetting/ignoring the myriad horrible consequences of those benders, and the people I've hurt and the damage I've done to myself. I went to AA for over a year recently, but I started to really dislike it. Any advice for someone who doesn't like the ritual meetings and the constant repetition of cliches? Thanks for the videos.
I know what you mean, there's a process of grieving when you get sober, like you have to let go of a person that you knew really well. Takes time. And yeah, if you've been going to AA for ages and you've started to bounce off it, it might be time to stop. Or at least, keep it in your life as a safety net, only go when you feel like you need to, but it might be time for you to consider other strategies. Don't feel bad about that, that's an evolution, not a step backwards. I mostly left AA behind and I'm still sober.
Hah. Touche. I use alcoholic because it is "Alcoholics Anonymous" to which I am a member. I do understand AUD and it is in the DSM V, I do believe. I am not offended by being called either an "alcoholic" or a person with "Alcohol Use Disorder." My red flags were legal trouble, job problems, relationship problems, early health problems and most of the same shit that is described in the Big Book of A.A., and withdrawal. I didn't start drinking until age 23 and it didn't become a problem until about ten years later. You won't ever turn the pickle back into a cucumber. After that, it was problem after problem. Great video, Mr. B., er, Mr. Nugent.
It's not the problems or chaos that makes us alcholic but the inability to to control it after one drink, some haven't went down the road of disaster in terms of loss but are alcoholic because they can't stop or control it. For us that have a history of problems and carnage because of our drinking it's of no use even knowing the results of our drinking when we lift it, knowing what it causes for us and others is pushed to the side and not brought into the decision to drink, it's the height of insanity. Insufficient justification is normally found to be used to do it
Waking up to this video was a great way to start my day! Thank you for this, as I totally understand and relate to it. While I was admittedly never in a Turkish prison or going through DTs on a plane with British officials, my own experience with acute alcohol withdrawal, alcoholic hallucinosis and delirium tremens were bad enough for me. That invisible line that we imperceptibly crossover at some point is very real. I somehow, inexplicably became that guy in his mid-40s, who was standing there, shaking like a leaf in a windstorm outside of the grocery store at 6:59 every morning seven days a week waiting for the clock to strike 7am so that I could purchase my vodka. Other than the availability of purchasing alcohol, time became somewhat meaningless to me, days and nights went by in a dark room, laying in a sweaty bed, all by myself for months. Food was of no interest. Exercise was impossible due to my weak state and my mental well-being was atrocious. I was so sick that the word sick doesn’t even do it justice. I became really not much more than an empty bottle and I’m pretty sure I’m always going to struggle with the shame of that. I certainly still do today and every day, even with some years of comfortable sobriety under my belt now. Like you, I often think about my days of unrestrained, active alcoholism. In fact, I think about it every single day multiple times a day. Within those thoughts I always encounter a mixture of shame, regret, and confusion over how it all got so bad and how I let that happen to me. And if I’m honest, my daily ruminations usually end with me marveling in disbelief at the fact that I’m somehow still alive. I often feel alone in my experience because even through all the hundreds and hundreds of AA meetings I’ve attended, I’ve rarely encountered anyone who knows what real real real heavy duty acute alcohol withdrawal feels like. I’m not taking anything away from the soccer moms at AA meetings who decided they need to stop drinking wine with the girls on Wednesday afternoons. That’s good for them, but I need to hear from real bottom of the barrel alcoholics who became nothing more that a barely breathing sack of flesh who’s master(alcohol) dominated their existence with a cruel iron fist….and then survived it. Thank you, once again for giving me the opportunity to wake up this morning and find a fresh new video from you. I first walked my dog, then eagerly brewed a pot of coffee and sat down to enjoy this with a clear, sober mind, free from the daily horrors and imprisonment of a 2 fifths of vodka a day habit. Cheers buddy.
Hey Steve, good to see you again, and thanks for the thoughtful comment once again! There's so much in this reply that I profoundly relate to. Waiting outside the shop at 6.59, feeling sick to the point that the word sick is inadequate, feeling like nothing more than an empty bottle. That's so real to me, and it's only ever a moment away. More than anything else, I feel you about AA. I have no criticism of it, and everybody there is there fore the same reason, including me. But between me and you, I don't really have much time to hear a 20 year old talking up the room's time with a story about how drinking made their grades go down. I have all the time in the world for stories like yours. I really appreciate your support and your comments.
When I look back and feel shame it's often when thinking about those times of alcohol availability. All the times of "shit, they stop selling in 20 minutes," or "why didn't I have the least bit of restraint and save those few shots for the morning," dressing to head out for morning "donuts" after a sleepless night and waiting for the time to pass. Makes me shudder. I've also met few physically dependent alcoholics, the kind who would wake up just to drink and go back to sleep, keeping a steady stream of it going in every moment you're awake. It's real hell. It is a different beast from people whose negative consequences come from occasional binge drinking.
@@D-Fens_1632 Very much so. I remember that time, watching the clock, convincing myself I wouldn't go back to the liquor store tonight, and then grabbing my shoes and running out 5 minutes before it closed. It's a terrible way to live.
@@D-Fens_1632 you hit the nail right on the head, man. I’m sorry you went through what I went through, because I know how bad it was. But I’m grateful to know that you went through it because while we don’t know each other, I’m certain that you understand me on some level.
@@_BatCountryI found this channel tonight and watched your binge video and was able to avoid slamming all of the whiteclaws someone left in my fridge so thank you for that. By the time the video was over I felt like I had the experience of drinking again without having to do it. I have never fully lost control of my drinking and have remained aware of how many consecutive days in a row I've completed of drinking, owned it and rode the binge hard. I guess when I've done it I try to do it in an elegant Johnny Depp respectable sort of way even though it eventually goes from making cocktails to just ripping all of the ingredients straight out the bottles. I turn it into a game of how drunk can I be and still function, like taking out a sailboat, playing golf, installing a light fixture for a friend - but fortunately not driving a car. Even blacked out, I'm usually still competent according to sources. I'm in my 40s and have quit many times since 30 but always go back for the fun of it w alcoholic friends or because I feel obligated on a date. Things came to a head when I finally got severe withdrawals after going for a few weeks straight and stopped abruptly back a few years ago. Had some of my family tell me I was an alcoholic because I was drinking almost an entire 30 pack in a day doing yard work and building a deck and I was genuinely surprised at what they said. Alcohol had always been as normal as eating food, but I started doing the hair of the dog thing because I had to just to get some work done. Then it just turned into my morning go-to even on a standard weekend. I did ~55 days earlier this year. Currently about 30 days. I'd rather just never drink again. I also saw the Huberman episode and finally had a real excuse to quit: it's bad for you apparently. Anyway, I must say that I thought I took things to the edge with my solo multi-day benders but you've opened my eyes to the reality of how much further it can go without just being a guy that sleeps on a sidewalk with a bottle. It's fascinating and slightly terrifying because I wonder if I would even be capable of going even further where I'm just laying in bed in a dark room. Your stories provide great perspective since you have actually lived it and come back to articulate the experience so well. I feel like I don't need to do that stuff anymore because I know the end result every time. I also have realized I never went that far all along. Still major use disorder but I left a lot on the table. I'll keep coming back to the channel because I need the reminders and I really appreciate your production, delivery and authenticity. Thanks!
I ended up here because i drank the same amount *roughly* as i do EVERY night but i ended up blacking out and faceplanting off my floor with a concussion and a broken nose and a black eye... I work in corprate America where image is everything and i lost mine... A wake up call is an understatement but this is exactly what i needed
I find a spot in the park with a view, and drink a sixpack. Then I smoke a joint in the end. Usually it ends there. I don't really like to go any further, but occationally that happens. Tried to stop 4 times for about a year long period now. I make it for about a month to two months... sigh I guess I just felt like sharing it in case anyone can relate to this behaviour specifically.
The life of an alcoholic or a drug addict which are similar to a certain point can become difficult because YOU are you own worst enemy to begin with, you hate yourself and want to die, that is a fact. Second, family, friends, relatives, society can help you dig your grave sooner than later. You can always find good people, good friends along the way but many a times family is a hindrance instead of a helping hand and often it is understandable because alcoholism distorts your sense of living in peace with your immediate family. To avoid all those things it's best to be sober and face the challenges of life be it difficult family and personal relationships without alcohol a substance which only promises immense problems besides the ones you already have. Thanks Bat Country for your teachings and advice.
1. Another great video man, you hit the nail on the head with all five, I can totally relate of course. 2. Thanks for the shout-out dude!! That was awesome 🙌. 3. Im glad you’re a lord of the rings nerd like I am 🤣, favorite movies of all time!!!! Keep up the good work brother. 💯
Not true. I'm Slovak and I live in the mountains. It's Turistika, not Touristica. And it does not have anything in common with drinking, and it means hiking. No drinking including in that, just simple hiking in the mountains. Families with children go on turistika, not drunks :D
That’s the truth . My only saving grace was I was a gymaholic also . I thought if I keep training ,it would give me a form of protection- unfortunately I was totally wrong.I would hotfoot it from the gym to the pub and give it anywhere from 4-8 pints of relatively strong beer then have a few when I got home .Today I meet friends once a week and have only a few bottles , but if I wanted I could easily slip back into my old self . What I do is to keep a very visual picture of the times I looked in the mirror and was disgusted with myself , if I feel like I want to go back to my old ways I just pull up the mirror image. Good health to all 🏃🏼
one thing i always used to do (and still do, albeit way less), was sit in the bar and drink alone, keeping to myself at my table, while not being "alone"
Your introductions are fine. Long introductions help some of us focus on the video. And I have no problem with being called an alcoholic, but I'm 36 and I understand that perhaps it may be a term that's being phased out.
I thought I was an alcoholic because I was drinking a 6 pack (of heavier IPA's) a night so that I could go to sleep, which is very difficult for me otherwise due to a painful medical condition which has no cure and is difficult to treat. I found it difficult to moderate my drinking, and would usually drink until I blacked out and/or passed out on the couch. I would always do this alone at home. I used to never drink alone, preferring to do it socially on the weekends, but that was before my pain condition. I also never got hangovers, before drinking everyday or after. I'd probably only ever had 5 hangovers in my life, usually when partying with friends and drinking far more than usual. I always just wake up either still a bit drunk or comfortably numb, with it just fading out in the morning. A couple of days ago I decided to quit for religious reasons. I feel no urge at all to drink again. I suppose I could if I wanted to, but I am not really thinking about it. I don't feel bad, except for the pain and the lack of sleep. Unfortunately I feel like the pain and lack of sleep might be worse for me than the alcohol, which is not a great thought. So yeah, I definitely drink like an alcoholic (or did), but I guess I don't FEEL like one. My dad definitely is and always has been, as is my brother. But I don't know if I meet that definition. My wife says I am, but when I can quit cold turkey with no effects or strong urge to drink, I'm not sure that I am.
I might politely argue that your current sleep trouble might be a product of the withdrawal. In time, you might find your sleep returning to healthier levels.
@@_BatCountry No, because I have the same pain even with alcohol. I have erythromelalgia and my version is activated by pressure. The longer I lay on any side, the greater the aching pain I feel up to a certain extent, which usually feels like I got beat up all over. Alcohol tends to just allow me to sleep through it, but I wake up with the pain either way (just a little more numb sometimes). Without alcohol forcing me to sleep, I end up getting awakened by the pain to one degree or another and I just roll from side to side, half asleep to not asleep. It's day 4 for me with no alcohol and each days had been the same in terms of pain and lack of sleep. Oh, and I still don't feel any particular urge to drink or any other negative side effects that might get chalked up to withdrawals. Perhaps it's related to my lack of other feelings due to my autonomic nervous system disorder, namely lack of hunger, lack of satiety, lack of thirst, lack of fight or flight reaction, etc. Previously I kicked a snacking habit and a soft drink habit cold turkey as well. I don't say all this to brag. I actually am curious to figure out what exactly is going on with me because who knows, maybe they can bottle it!
I had all the signs. Hindsight being 20/20 I really think I have always been an alcoholic. I had my first taste of alcohol at 8. My first drunk at 13. I started doing drugs at 13. Started having sex at 13. Everything started at 13. My hangovers definitely turned into withdrawals a long time ago. Fortunately I got the gift of desperation and surrendered. I am so much happier now.
I'm watching this because i'm worried my friend has a problem. Drunkest in the room? yes, awful hangovers? yes drinking alone? often. How can i broach this with him in a way he won't get defensive?
Brillant listen the last 3 issues are definitely me at this moment in time ....hope this sinks in to me ...cos help doesn't help me makes me worse ....have to try it alone ....I often walk around with vodkas...so easy yet I think it helps ...
A couple of glasses of Prosecco most nights really relax me - it doesn’t evolve into anything more than that, but im still worried im addicted - im very anxious person - by the way your videos are great for falling asleep to! Very soothing voice :)
There's another person the labels "alcohol use disorder" or "problematic drinking" impacts - the third party. The role shame plays in "alcohol use disorder"/"alcoholism" is important, the words see the person as apart from the behavior. Personally, I find a lot of sober communities pretty self flagellating, I imagine I'm going to get comments much the same. For me, seeing the person as apart from the behavior, as somebody with agency and not an essential trait, is more helpful because it centers the agency. An alcoholic is a pariah and invites treatment as such by others.
When I stopped drinking over 10 years ago I saw all my friends drinking in different eyes. They drink, alot and could care less about whether they drink around me or not, which to me was disrepectful. I stopped going to get together's because each and every time it was really just an excuse for others to get drunk together. I don't hate them for it because at one time I didn't want to go anywhere that didn't sell alcohol (football games, concerts, dinner out, parties) but now I rather just not go if it's a drunk fest.
This isn’t the lesson I should’ve learned from your video, but apparently I’m far off from being an alcoholic. I only drink in company and most of the time I’m capable of stopping and going home to rest.
Love your video and I'm so happy to have fond your podcast. For myself I stared drinking at 18. The legal age here in the province Quebec in Canada. That was a little late I was the last one out of my group of friends. Like I said started at 18 and I was hooked by 18. At about 19 or 20 I went to an AA meeting with a friend she was having major issues with both alcohol and drugs'. Once I heard the speaker I knew I had a problem. Even that I knew it deep down. I was a blackout drinking from the start. The longest I been sober was 5 years and 11 months. Then relapsed that was about 5 years ago maybe more. In that time I have put in months at a time sober. Two years ago I went to rehab, they used CBT it was a great help. however came back to a chaotic living situation then relapse after 5 months. Now I have puts months at a time sober again. I'm primarily doing AA meeting. Yet at times I have my doubts. I know that I really need to add some SMART Recovery meeting again.
Hey Lyle! I have a few comments recently from various remote parts of Canada, I guess there must be something a little lonely about the place that drives people into the bottle. You mentioned you have doubts about AA, what are they?
@@_BatCountry I been having some issues with step 6 and 7. I keep working on them. I just rally don't know if God would take away some parts of ego. I am just not sure it works like that. I know many people that AA has worked for I even knew a man that had 68 years sober when he passed away. Yet I'm not sure if my issues are more psychological then spiritual.
@@lylemccomber9460 that's a sophisticated critique, and while I would dearly love to say something to reconcile it for you, I actually agree. In fact is go even further: to consider your own little addiction to be the focus of God's attention is surely the height of egoism. So ummm... good luck figuring that one out. If you come to a satisfactory resolution, do let the rest of us know what it is
@@_BatCountry Thank you I 100% agree with you about egoism. Nothing more I really want in my life is to be sober. Yet I wonder if God who is running all of creation would stop and say " Lyle is thinking about having some Jack Dandles I need to stop and keep him sober." Don't get me wrong I love the 12 steps groups. I just wonder if at this point of time what else could be done to fight addiction. I have seen people walk into AA and other 12 step groups and do very well. Yet I have sadly known who have died from addiction. For myself I have done so/so with the 12 step groups. I do have some great people around me in AA. I may just be at a point where I am a little lost. But I am just going to keep trussing the process.
I've had a dysfunctional relationship with alcohol since I was a teenager. I would drink with the express intention of getting drunk, and I didn't realize that was abnormal behavior until so much later. (What? People drink just one drink and they're fine just not feeling anything?! What a waste!") I am so incredibly lucky that I had a partner that realized what was happening and I was still in a place where I could think rationally about it, so I never crossed the line into chemical dependency, but I easily could have and it scares me. I was self medicating for ADHD and C-PTSD. Psychiatric care was crucial.
Thanks for watching! I was also self-medicating for PTSD - naturally I didn't know it at the time. You're right, good care is absolutely crucial, and so is being able to ask for and receive help. Hope you're doing better these days!
For me, it was a matter of accepting something that I already knew... which is to say, if you're asking the question, then you already have the answer as well.
The trap alcohol sets for you is that by the time you realize your severe anxiety is a direct result of your alcohol abuse, that anxiety is nearly too powerful to cope with-- drinking is the only thing that quiets it. That's how I lost years to alcoholism: treating my anxiety with an anxiety-inducing agent. If you drink when you wake up to treat the anxiety caused by your hangover, seek help sooner rather than later.
Absolutely right. That's a message that needs to be amplified, because that's right at the heart of alcohol use disorder.
So true!
I feel like I beat this by having chronic fatigue so anxiety does almost nothing to me it’s just a little easier to get out of bed with anxiety
And most importantly someone told me early on once you start drinking in the morning you’re already dead so I’ve never drank in the morning even once it’s part of how I justify my slightly excessive drinking like I sometimes drink about 30% more than what is harmless
You perfectly described a lot of daily cannabis smokers also. They however mostly is in denial since "you can't get addicted" and "weed can't give you mental problems".. I just shake my head and laugh.
I didn't even drink a high volume nostalgia of the time, but this point is what led me to putting down the sauce. My day to day anxiety was just too much of a problem, I'd tried sleeping more and excersising, which helped, but still the anxiety persisted. About to hit 1 year alcohol free in 4 days. Night and day difference.
If you’re an alcoholic you’re an alcoholic, there is no sugar coating it with sensitive wording. It’s a daily battle I struggle with and I always have to fight that little voice in my head telling me “you’ve done so well, surely you can have one night to drink” I realised I had a problem when I noticed I can’t just have one or two drinks, one sip and I’m all in to get hammered. 2 months sober now and I still have to remind myself not to listen to the demon within.
can you fix this though? why do i always have to get so hammered. had a glass of wine last night before my friends came to pick me up for halloween and i woke up at the hospital. what is wrong with me?
Sorry if already mentioned. Other red flags I learned: go to different liquor stores every day as not to make it "too obvious." Not being able to walk away from a half finished drink. Making up excuses for earlier drunk fits like: "oh, that was only once. No biggie." Calculating alcohol intake on a party so to act engaged but keep up appearance you are in control, only to "catch up" when you get home and are alone. And BC's other vid: "I'll stop on Monday."
Did that when I was drinking. Sad.
The first hair of the dog and how well it works is the singular moment when all alcoholics went over the edge. They just didn't know it at that point.
Yeah, absolutely. At some point, I suppose it's nothing BUT hair of the dog.
Truth.
@@_BatCountrydog hairs, everywhere.
I remember the exact point I was seeing friends in London and thought 'hey, I don't need to wait till the weekend to do the rest of my heroin! I can just do it now before the train home!' And yeah it wasn't long after that...
This is the problem with only 1 recreational intoxicant being legal there’s better drugs you can’t developed a dependence if you always switch drugs either there’s better drugs for a hang over you’re not doing the best option with alcohol to treat a hang over you’re choosing the worst possible option because it’s obvious based on your options
"if you're watching this, and you feel like you have a problem, you do." Fuck, that gits me hard, brother.
This video made total sense to me. I started drinking around the same age as you. Back then it was "Normal" to drink with your mates get home, pretend to your parents that you were ok, go to bed and wake up the next morning with a massive hangover the following day. There was always alcohol around. I used to go and stay with my grandparents at the weekend and they always had a decantor of whiskey and sherry in the kitchen. I always used to have a few gulps when i was a teenager. When i got to 26 i was drinking alone and i can relate to the walking and drinking part of your story. I used to love walking around the city with a bottle in my rucksack and going to see things like the museum or just take it all in while drinking. Getting well into my 30's thats when i started hiding bottles of spirits around the house. Into my late 40's thats when the withdrawals started really taking there toll on my body. I would have to take days off work just to recover. Now in my 50's i realise that i am not a responsible drinker and that i can't kid my self anymore. I stopped on the 29th April and so far its going OK. I do not have a choice, i had to stop the withdrawals were getting too bad (Theres a good reason your channel is called Bat Country after all). If i dont keep off the spirits i'm going to end up dead or in prison. Thanks for your videos they really help to keep my resolve and understand where i've been and the kind of person i want to be in the future. They remind me of why i'm sober and want to stay that way. Thanks
Hey CJ, good to see you again and congrats on putting the bottle down. Stick with it.
And yeah, I'm both pleased and saddened that you get the Bat Country reference. That level of withdrawal takes a huge toll, we incur a debt every time we go through it until it leaves us with nothing.
Keep us updated mate, best of luck
16:39 “If you think you have a drinking problem, you do.” It really is just that simple.
16th May marks 1 and a half years sober. Not always happy but always grateful 🙏
Ah congratulations Ralph! Here's to many more.
congrats that is fantastic
Congratulations, friend
My dad is an alcoholic, I've never been drunk in my life, drank a few sips here and there when I was a teenager, since I'm 18 I'm not drinking at all, as I know I'm at risk genetically. I go to Al Anon and AA meetings regularly or watching videos like yours just as a prevention as I feel there is something deep down in me, that could become an alcoholic or even is one as you defined it very well here. Thank you for spreading awareness!
Don't mean to be a gatekeeper because I'm not an alcoholic either, but claiming to be an alcoholic while never being drunk in your life is just absurd
First of all I‘m not claiming anything, I was just sharing my personal experience and wanted to shed light on forms or rather seeds of addiction that simply exist. Secondly, I assume you are not familiar with the AA programme as such, but in the preamble it states: The only requirement for membership is a desire to stop, regardless of amount etc.
Having a few drinks so you can get a good night sleep, turns into staying up so you can keep drinking. It's so silly it makes me laugh. The dumb traps we lay for ourselves. It's got a slapstick quality to it, like stepping on a rake.
Having a nihilistic disposition makes this so much worse... And once the buzz hits the 'why does it matter' mentality comes. I've ruined so so many days this way. It's so depressing
💯 percent right on
I too at my teen years added all my parents alcohol to one jar and drank it down. I had to in order to go out and be social. Looking back I remember my first drink and thinking, "this stuff is magic" until later in life when the toxic shit turned on me. So many black outs. My life is so much better sober.
Hey Mary! I want to talk about that bit in particular, the drinking to be sociable, in the future, so stay tuned because that's a big one. Thanks for the comment, I appreciate it a lot!
Excellent video. Thank you for posting it. I quit drinking nearly 16 years ago at the age of 18 as a version of withdrawals set in. I had a couple of relapses early on in my 20s when I was still very impulsive.
However, I’ve been fully sober for 11 years now, and I'm married with three wonderful children. I’m praying for all of your success and peace.
Massive congratulations, I wish so much that I had got sober younger. I wasted SO much of my best years.
U pinpointed exactly where I'm at. The alcohol has surpassed my original issues and now its the alcohol itself that is the main problem in my life. Which I have been "treating"with more booze. Luckily something clicked in my head and I'm 8 days sober as of today. The most I've had in like 3 years
Congratulations, you've turned an important corner. Onwards and upwards from here, keep us posted.
Pleaee continue and dont feel bad if u relapse just keep doing u
Quit over 2 memorial day weekends ago. Been to rehab, recovery, center. Now i need my daily message , not to tell me to dont drink. But a reminder of where i came from, where i was, and keep me from straying. As well as im not alone. This messgae is for msny peopl like me
I'm addicted to your stories of despair and finding your way back. I'm taking it very carefully, one day at a time, as I have a huge tendency to self-sabotage when things are going well. I'm approaching 2 years come November 1, I'm sticking to my program as my life depends on it.
Just purchased your audio book as well. Prayers to all who are struggling.
I love your story and how seriously you take it. I can’t get passed 6 months. All power to you 😊
I've often thought that among my mates from our early years
It was always gonna be me,and was. Now I work on staying sober. It's early days,sort of but I'm on the case.
Thanks for this and good luck and best wishes to all who are struggling.
I am so pleased I found your videos, they have helped me enormously the last few days of dread because I knew the end was round the corner. I started Detox (community based) today and will be returning to your page throughout the week. Thank you kindly for making things so clear.
Hey Ian! Thanks so much for the comment, I'm happy these videos have connected with you. Congratulations on making the difficult changes necessary in your life, it's all better from here. Good luck in detox, I ope you have a good experience, and long may your sobriety continue.
Another great video. I used to love to pick up beers from the offie when I finished late at my job in the cinema in Russell Square and walk back to Waterloo, have more on the train journey and crash out when I finally got home. Looking back that was when my mental health really took a dive, but I never made the connection at the time. I lost years to depression and OCD as a result, well and to the hangovers. I've definitely been on the edge of the precipice you describe, drinking doubles on shift at work because I feel so anxious from my hangover. I was lucky to find a new job where I can't possibly get away with drinking on shift or heavily the night before, otherwise not sure where I'd be now.
In the recovery journey, I've found that you become much more aware of yourself and your environment - you become a more stable and knowledgeable person. It's also good to hear from others in recovery because too often it's a treated as a taboo topic that brings unnecessary shame to those trying to get off alcohol.
I heard someone say that alcoholism is the only disease that makes you a better person when you're cured than you were when you started. I like to think that's true.
I was born in the mid 70’s. My age group women were part of the ‘ladette’ culture. Not many of my mates don’t have an issue with alcohol whether it’s now being sober or still struggling. If only I knew then what horror awaited when I was pouring back all sorts of everything and the way it would take hold. I’d never have gone near it. Pain, misery, losing nearly everything and then finally redemption. Been a long journey. Thanks for the vid 🙏🏽
"More alcohol cause more problems, and more problems cause more alcohol."
Hit the nail on the head there, thanks for the video!
Thanks for the comment James. And yeah, once we're aware of cycles like that, we can get a handle on them.
Story of my life, but the same going backwards. Less alcohol, less problem. No alcohol, no problems.
Ahh I lived in Brighton around the same time and had a similar experience of accommodation! Although it was the drug dealer in the flat below who died! I developed the start of an alcohol use disorder around that time. Later I managed to settle into a healthier pattern with drinking and drank less and less until eventually in 2020 it just wasn't worth it anymore. Really feel like sobriety is truly living! Would never go back.
I thank you BC for all the work you put into these awesome videos. They really do help.
Thanks Jeff! I hope they're useful to someone out there besides me.
absolutely!!
I’m so tired of quitting and pouring out what’s left of my alcohol, just to find myself right back at the liquor store within the next day or two.
Keep quitting. It'll stick eventually.
I don't know how many times I had bought a bottle of whiskey, drank half in one night, then woke up disgusted with myself and poured the remaining half down the sink drain and swear it off. Only to be in the store 2-3 days later buying another bottle.. thinking this time it could be different. Ugh..wth.
Super perspective. It’s in the eye of the beholder. Definitely on point, it’s the “medicine” but as a wolf in sheep’s clothing!
We’re taught from an upping age to avoid pain and difficulties in life. If more people understood that pain is a mechanism to healing, maybe we would face our struggles, sober, and not ever see it as “medicine” but the poison it really is.
Really enjoy your vids, especially how relatable they are. No gimmicks, click bait etc etc, just quality content that so many can benefit from
🙏🙏🙏
Very true. Thank you for the thoughtful comment.
Love, love will tear us apart, again.
I love listening to you., I also liked walking - going for a codiewomple and getting smashed was great. always an adventure and some weird stuff always ensued. I came home with a chicken (live) once ! I dont touch the booze now, sailed close to the wind, started drinking massively (spirits cmae into the show) to manage anxiety in my early 40s but then realized on holiday after stopping daily drinking, that the anxiety was from the daily drinking. , lager free beer saved my skin, gave me the pyscological reward to limit feeling like I was missing out and denying myself. keep on keeping on.
Glad to hear it mate, and thanks for the comment!
I started to drink 7 years ago to fight my social anxiety, at age 23.
At first I only drank before major social events or before a date and all that. So I could be calmer and more confident.
Or normal, so I thought.
Then it slowly started to be before work or to be with friends. I needed the booze to feel like a normal person.
If sober, the anxiety was now worse than ever.
From that it progressed to everyday, regardless of anything social related.
That's the point where I realized I had been an alcoholic all along these past years.
For a long time I said to myself I only drank because of social anxiety, negating I had a problem with the alcohol itself.
But everyday is a social day if you are an FA, so I had the excuse to drink everyday.
It was when I quit my job that I was confronted with reality.
Even staying at home doing nothing I still felt the need to heavily drink all day long.
Right now I'm trying to quit because I think I finally kindled myself.
Still mild, I believe, but regardless of that, this shit scares me too much and I better quit before I get in serious trouble.
I fucked up most of my 20s and I don't want to waste my 30s.
But I can't deny I'm hoping to unkindle myself somehow and come back to drinking in my late 30s.
I hope to get over it, but for now that's how I cope with all of this sober mess.
Thank you for your videos man, I'm watching all of them.
Yes quit quit quit -- never go back -- believe me it only gets worse -- I'm 50 - so believe me it's never ok -- you'll have a beautiful future if you Quit
for all the "not sure if I'm an alcoholic" alkies out there..
i was 26, married & had had a couple scary blackouts & over the course of a few days had asked my wife (an R.N.) every day whether or not she thought
i was an alcoholic? & tho
she didn't really have an answer, it
finally ocurred to me that, "you know Carl, anyone who has to wander around for days asking themselves whether or not they think they're an alcoholic, geeze, that person is probably an alcoholic.."
& when i brought this new found revelation to my wife, her response:
" yeah, i was waiting for you to come around to that answer on your own.."
She was playing a dangerous game, but it paid off. A lot of people never get to that conclusion - but it certainly helps if you get there on your own!
Interesting. My mother had serious alcohol use problems, she was non functioning in the world. Her father also had problems but he coped better with functioning in the world. I was brewing my own booze at boarding school, age about 14. I have had bad hangovers, that's why I quit the booze, but I don't think I have had withdrawal. Home from work and needing the drink, alone, just to reduce the stress. I am not sure about the threshold part, not my experience, but I get it. I just think I am different. 9 months sober.
Congrats on your sober time! And you must have been popular at boarding school :)
15:00
Hey, this part of the video gave me serious pause. When I’ve come off of alcohol I get the worst hangovers despite my constant day drinking-to the point where I’ve wondered if it’s withdrawal or not. I know “worse” alcoholics than me (as you said in another video, an alcoholic=an alcoholic no matter what)
“There’s a chance you’re watching this video because you’re wondering about it yourself, and if you’re wondering about it you have crossed over.”
Thank you so much for this video. I feel like going on a long speal but I'll resist. Your videos have came into my life at the right time and I'm grateful for you & your channel. Kindest regards from Ireland. All the best :)
Thank you Conor, I appreciate the comment, and we're all here if you need us. Oh and if you ever want to go on a speal, this is absolutely the place to do it - that's what I'm doing anyway! Keep us posted on your progress mate.
I'm a big fan of the channel now. Binged all the alcohol vids last night. I noticed your highest viewed vid has a very vibrant blue thumbnail with a really good font choice. I thought that would be worth mentioning. Looking forward to more data and stories. Thanks.
Thanks mate! Yeah that's my favourite video, but I can no longer recreate that look because I moved apartments right after I filmed it. I haven't quite figured out my thumbnails yet :)
A very confronting yet necessary video, Stuart. With me, it all revolves around that first sip, then off to Everythingturnstoshit land I go. A colab with Slayer would be great. Keep up the great work, sir.
Thank you as always asif. I've been to Everythingturnstoshitland so often they offered me a timeshare there.
😂 love that!
A collab with my two favorite TH-camrs would be epic.
@@jeff67788 my thoughts exactly! Fingers crossed. Check out Tim Johnson as well, he is my go to when in withdrawal.
think I have dual citizenship from Everythingturnstoshitlandistan..
" when i was in me mums womb". I started thinking I might be an alcoholic.😂😂😂
What a great video Bat Country. I can totally relate to the items you discussed. I agree that the term alcoholic just draws people to a conclusion off the bat. I believe there are different levels of alcoholism but I’m conscious that I’m only one bad moment to losing control. For me I never enjoyed alcohol but would just drink it fast. This year I have been reflecting as I didn’t realize I had a problem but started analyzing some of my behaviors, drinking faster and faster, hiding alcohol, drinking alone more often than not. But because I am a highly functional person, like you said alcohol was my medicine. Had a great day something to celebrate let’s drink, had a bad day let’s drink too. My ah ha moment or epiphany was when I couldn’t stop thinking about drinking when I tried to stop in January. I agree with all the points you made. Thankfully, I have not gotten to that threshold BUT I’m pretty sure that will end up being my life. So I’m focused on stopping to avoid that. The thought of never drinking again is scary so I’m focused on each day. Hopefully I will stop thinking about it. First time I’m commenting sorry for the rant. I hit subscribe. I started my self-assessment with LD, then Slayer, followed by shades, and now you. Thank you for sharing your story and helping spread the word of the dangers this poison can cause. Stay strong, someone in FL appreciates you! 💜
Oh and I only made it sober in January. I have tapered off but continue to have moments where I find myself drinking. Like I’m a robot buying the booze. But im going to figure this out.
@@Micru866 Hey Micru, thanks for the comment and you never need to apologise for a rant on this channel - that's largely what it's for :D
It sounds to me you might have caught it early, and like every disease, that makes your prognosis better in the long run.
I try to resist actually giving advice, but I'd say that the thought of not drinking ever again is a BIG hurdle. It was for me. But once you get through that, the idea of a life without alcohol starts to be quite exciting, quite energising. Once you've started to get comfortable with all the time you suddenly have on your hands, you'll wonder why it was scary in the first place.
Keep us posted on your progress buddy, we're all here if you need us.
@@_BatCountry that’s the end game. Thx
@@Micru866 I wish you luck as well, man. I might as well wish you luck here a well since I did, in fact, make an appearance on this clown's channel.
Same sequence for me!
Your definition of alcoholism is 100% on point. I call it the homer simpson syndrome. "alcohol - the cause of, and solution to, all of lifes problems"
Ive found myself pondering that very comment many times after a binge.
I drink after work on Fridays until around midnight on Saturday. I usually pass out early hours Saturday morning, wake sat up on the sofa and then start again until I pass out. From waking on Sunday I don’t touch a drop until after work the following Friday. I have done this alone nearly every weekend for 20 years. I know it’s an issue but I can’t explain why it hasn’t escalated past that. The build up to starting drinking on Friday at 6pm is still something that excites me. Should I get help?!?
Your definition of the threshold in my opinion, is almost frightening in its accuracy. You brought up a couple of things such as testing the bottle to see if there’s even a taste left in it and that’s stuff I always thought I was hiding from the world. I’ve been through the very same points as you have, sir. I’ve been through the hard withdrawals where I almost wished to die. I’ve almost torn my family apart. I’ve sold things that were invaluable just to get another bottle. I’ve gone to work under the influence. I’ve drank on my way home and I have a commercial license, so my clean standing is paramount! I’ve defended my drinking, I’ve let down my wife, kids and friends.
I came around a couple years back and admitted the fact that I had a problem and was certainly in need of help. I went to a 21 day inpatient rehab, learned a ton there and I truly loved the experience. I’d put alcohol down for a month and a half, the longest I’d ever gone since I started drinking at about 14-15. I was 40 at that point. I came home clean, I was so happy and full of life and then I drank again, under the idea that I’d see if it even tasted the same. And here I am again, 3 years later, picking up the pieces yet again. It’s a hell of a rollercoaster ride, but in the end I’ll know it was worth it.
I've been battling my own issues with alcohol over the past year, that and a nasty cocaine addiction. I'm really enjoying these videos, it's nice coming across a small channel when so much of TH-cam has been taken over by ads. Your delivery of these videos is refreshing, I've only just got up to the part where you talk about scraping vomit out your window (really made me laugh), but the starting young thing, that certainly resonates with me. We were out getting paralyitc in parks on the weekends by the time we were 15 - 16. Fast forward twenty years and I've almost certainly reached the point where I'd consider myself an alcoholic; hiding bottles, putting wine in metal water bottles to hide it, lying about it etc. Things that I'm not particularly proud of I have to say. Keep up the good work dude.
Keep trying.
such a great video man...started to drink at the same age as you...pretty much all similar... but one day I woke up with that poisoning near death hangover shite, stood up and fought against the demons...three years sober now, and I am 39... what hurts is the 20 years gone and possibilities unrealised and screwd... but that is not the way to go... with this newly given life we are given the new chance to make a difference.so let's do this.one soul saved from this torture is better than none... great content dude'...keep it going!jura
Congratulations on your sobriety mate, long may it continue. And yeah, all that wasted time is a real burden, especially because in sobriety I've begun to see what I was always capable of. But onwards and upwards. That you for the comment.
@@_BatCountry yeah i get it...same here...full potentials are unlocked in many ways...never give up...maybe it should have been like this,who knows...keep the great message out there!thanks
This makes total sense, once I have to drink to kill the pain of drinking I’m locked in again. It usually lasts months or years before I can stop, absolutely miserable.
Awful..I hope it gets better.
Thanks mate. I so appreciate your self honesty and your compassion. Your videos allow me to self reflect on my relationship to alcohol use. Thanks so much.
Hey Scotty! Thanks for the comment, I'm glad my own reflection has some value for you :)
when i turned 18 i started drinking since i could buy my own alcohol (i used to never drink before that). during 2 yrs (especially during my school yrs) i used to be drinking like theres no tomorrow. i used to crave it all the time (alcohol use disorder + adhd runs in my family) i was very afraid that ill fall into the rabbit hole but this yr, after turning 20 in february i started taking psychiatric medication for my adhd and it made me hate alcohol and stopped all the cravings. i have a very addictive personality and im glad i didnt develop alcohol use disorder. hope you are doing great, whoever is reading this :)
I just discovered your channel amidst a bad binge. You describe things very well and this, I should hope, is about to help.
At the very least, thank you for your honesty
I agree with the threshold definition, ide say im very close to that piont. Also for me its when you add up the dry days in a month, 4 out of 30 isn't good
Thank you for your videos. One more I would like to suggest to be watched out for: If your first time or first times drinking were to excess. That's a very strong indicator and something I hear of very often in recovery rooms. If you are reading this and think you have an issue, please reach out. By definition we are not equipped to deal with this problem ourselves.
Very good! Exactly spot on, I ended up having a seizure and spent two weeks hallucinating in hospital having a medical detox. That was in March and I’ve still not properly recovered from it now. If you feel like you’ve got a problem dont let it spiral out of control like me. Catch it early so the withdrawals aren’t too dangerous. The withdrawals if caught early enough are pretty shit for a few days but not too bad. The feeling of relief is awesome when you wake up feeling normal (been through it a few times)
I would rather die than go through the aftermath of a bottle of cointreau. I imagine it's similar to after Jäger. Vile stuff. I took a strange pride in sticking to mid-tier spirits, even if I'd never want anyone knowing I was drinking. I'm a year on from quitting and, after two relapses earlier in the year, I feel like I'm through the worst. I'm acutely aware that I could slip at any time, especially with the liquor store across the road from work, but I have a set of key things I remind myself to fight the urges. It's working so far.
God bless you. Drinking and walking alone observing the world. It's not romantic it's some sort of escapism. Cbt has really helped and I'm recovering. X
Thank you for your content! I enjoy it so much ❤
5. I started drinking when I was 12. From the first time on, I would get black out drunk because I simply couldnt stop. Growing up on a small farm in Germany, it is not uncommon to start that early. Alcohol was everywhere and we even had our own distillery in the farmhouse.
4. Alcohol use disorder can be found in my family big time and I developed a high tolerance early on. I was known to be a good drinker and drinking companion.
3. Im unsure about the withdrawal one. I think Ive had cravings that were intense, meaning I was extremely nervous and shaky.
2. I started drinking alone in my mid-20s. Somewhere in my mid-30s I started drinking daily, mostly alone. Im 39 now and in a very unstable recovery.
1. Well, yes, the vicious cycle of problems and alcohol. Its a fucking demon.
Hello, and thanks for watching! So how are you today - did you quit drinking, or thinking about quitting?
Thank you for this. I find it relaxing listening to you talk. And i like the music you play in the background. So much of this resonates. And i remember my own ‘threshold’ moment well.
Thanks Allison! Yeah that's the tone I'm going for: kind of relaxing background podcasty style recovery videos. It's harder than it sounds, given the nature of the topic.
What was your threshold moment - if you don't mind me asking?
I agree , Great Videos and the points expertly communicated
I find the background music and little “Overlook Hotel in the Shining”
Love this, because when we're talking about someone who smokes, we don't go ahead and say he's a smoker right off the bat, etc... Excellent, thank you for your amazing video! Nice listening, too, the accent (I'm American lol), and articulate, pleasant disposition! 😀
Absolutely interesting video.
I’ve had a problem with alcohol all my life.
Your video had me recall a distant memory. I was quite sick and constantly coughing. My bedroom was in the basement under my parent’s bedroom. So obviously they were more annoyed than caring about my well being…
Out of character my dad brought me a butter rum toddy (i.e. he NEVER took personal care of us kids).
It knocked me out. I think i was about ten years old. It’s up there with putting brandy in a baby bottle.
Oh that's interesting. How old were you when you started drinking by your own choice?
Big fan of your channel my bro so much insight so articulate and so professionally produced plus you seem like a genuine kind person Big Love!!!
Thanks Colm, I appreciate that!
For me it’s realizing that I have little power over it - how easy it is to relapse against my better judgement - the act of not being able to prevent a relapse - by deluding myself into thinking I can have just one and then a week later I’m up to 4 - that is scary
I remember being at a new year's party back in 2009, I was still young then, and all I kept hearing from people the day after was "ive never seen anyone able to hold their booze as well as you". And comments like "we thought harry was going to bed, but he was going for another beer!". I didn't realise at the time, but these people were pointing out, subtly, that my drinking was abnormal. Already. I was 21. I had already gotten a taste for it and nothing was stopping me
I'm also of Irish stock and alcoholism is rife through both sides of my family, along with mental illness which obviously doesn't help either.
Yep, that's exactly the kind of thing I used to hear. Glad I walked away from it.
Wonderful, clear and honest vid. Can relate to some of your points. Checked DSM5 as a result, but 'only' a score of 3 out of 11. Still, being here and listening to you tells more than that...
Yup, yup, yup and yes! You got it pal hit the nail on the head for me at least in your definition. Different journey but same end point although there are some interesting relatable parallels to your experience particularly the ‘Flâneur’ or Dérive’ aspect where I fancied myself a visual poet roaming cities in Osaka, London or Hong Kong with a pocket beer or something stronger topping up at family mart or where ever unaware of the shadows closing in around me.
I recently had a short stint in a psych ward. I had relapesed and had two beers. I disclosed that i was an alcoholic to my doctor in there, and i assume he heard the word alcoholic and assumed the worst. I was woken up every three hours to test how bad my "alcohol withdrawls" were for over four days when i haven't had a drink in years
I like your point! I don't worry about using alcohol. It actually still helps me. Thank you for this! I subscribe
I'm new on my sobriety journey. I'd like to add an another warning sign. I can't say for certain whether it's a red flag of developing addiction or a risk factor. The thing being the feeling of a significant rush of euphoria from the first drink. Apparently it's not supposed to be as intense as I have it. For me it's so intense that I might seem drunk from the first drink, even with high tolerance. It makes me, momentarily, incredibly relaxed and almost lethargic. It's so debilitating for me that when I used to drink socially, I would go through the euphoria alone, before anything.
The trap for me came in when I, suddenly, stopped getting the euphoria and I would binge, trying to reach that rush again. I typically did reach the rush.
Pretty good definition. For me I felt like I was sick with this, when I felt likenit almost killed me several times and made me feel ashames of what I had done the day before, ywt was going back to it because I felt like it was part of me and a normal activity in life.
Yeah I think a lot of us can relate to that feeling.
i am watching this video because, while i do not currently have an alcohol problem, i am acutely aware that i am at risk. i grew up very close with my grandfather, who is an alcoholic. his behaviors soured me towards drinking as a whole, and i remained completely sober until i was 20, past which i have maintained a rule of only ever drinking socially. at 20 though, i began smoking cannabis. smoking isn’t drinking, so surely that was fine. flash forward three years, and you could sub out “drinking” with “smoking”, “alcohol” for “weed” in many of the points you made, and they still fit the bill. i have recently recognized that i have a problem and have begun the path towards fixing it, but i’ve noticed in the meantime that i socially drink far more often, and in greater amounts. not concerning amounts, and never alone, but i’ve noticed that i am subconsciously allowing myself to swap one vice for another. i want to make sure i don’t cross that boundary. that’s why i’m watching.
Thanks for this. For what it's worth, replacement therapy is fine as long as you're replacing a bad thing with a less bad thing. Alcohol's worse than weed, straight up and without ambiguity, so be vigilant. I know this is going to sound suspiciously like 'have you tried mindfulness,' but loads of people i know how quit weed replaced with yoga. I dunno, tbh you don't sound like you need advice, but keep us posted anyway.
@@_BatCountry i really appreciate the response! i mostly commented just in case anyone was here for similar reasons, but i appreciate the advice nonetheless.
I relocated from being a bartender in the city to store manager in the suburbs during covid, and when I had a few months off and was drinking every night like i was out at the bar my now other half realised there was something wrong. I didnt understand because it was city culture, bartender culture. Id drink every day and go out till 4am every night. Every night. I went stone cold sober after many arguments, and ended up with enflamed thyroid glands due to who knows how long ongoing dehydration and then withdrawl.
Im now on a path, an unsteady one. We have a rule where i can have beers in spain once a year on our holidays. And i stay sober the entire year otherwise.
Im on year four and all seems well. Justnl thought id share.
That's an interesting strategy, thanks for sharing! Whatever works brother, I'm glad you're doing good.
I wholeheartedly agree with your definition. I have been trying to convince myself that I'm an alcoholic/abnormal drinker for the better part of 15 years now. It sucks because every time I get a bit of extended sobriety, I begin to miss the carefree, fuck-it-let's-party" feeling of getting obliterated, whether alone or with others. It feels like I'm denying my true nature and I mourn the loss of a part of my authentic self. And I convince myself that I can be more careful *this* time. Yet I am simultaneously forgetting/ignoring the myriad horrible consequences of those benders, and the people I've hurt and the damage I've done to myself.
I went to AA for over a year recently, but I started to really dislike it. Any advice for someone who doesn't like the ritual meetings and the constant repetition of cliches? Thanks for the videos.
I know what you mean, there's a process of grieving when you get sober, like you have to let go of a person that you knew really well. Takes time.
And yeah, if you've been going to AA for ages and you've started to bounce off it, it might be time to stop. Or at least, keep it in your life as a safety net, only go when you feel like you need to, but it might be time for you to consider other strategies. Don't feel bad about that, that's an evolution, not a step backwards. I mostly left AA behind and I'm still sober.
Thanks for these videos. You're a great communicator and have some important stuff to share.
Thank you so much!
Hah. Touche. I use alcoholic because it is "Alcoholics Anonymous" to which I am a member. I do understand AUD and it is in the DSM V, I do believe. I am not offended by being called either an "alcoholic" or a person with "Alcohol Use Disorder." My red flags were legal trouble, job problems, relationship problems, early health problems and most of the same shit that is described in the Big Book of A.A., and withdrawal. I didn't start drinking until age 23 and it didn't become a problem until about ten years later. You won't ever turn the pickle back into a cucumber. After that, it was problem after problem. Great video, Mr. B., er, Mr. Nugent.
Thanks brother! And yeah, at some point, it's ONLY problems, right?
It's not the problems or chaos that makes us alcholic but the inability to to control it after one drink, some haven't went down the road of disaster in terms of loss but are alcoholic because they can't stop or control it. For us that have a history of problems and carnage because of our drinking it's of no use even knowing the results of our drinking when we lift it, knowing what it causes for us and others is pushed to the side and not brought into the decision to drink, it's the height of insanity. Insufficient justification is normally found to be used to do it
A great video man. Well done. You made perfect sense, multiple times.
Waking up to this video was a great way to start my day! Thank you for this, as I totally understand and relate to it. While I was admittedly never in a Turkish prison or going through DTs on a plane with British officials, my own experience with acute alcohol withdrawal, alcoholic hallucinosis and delirium tremens were bad enough for me. That invisible line that we imperceptibly crossover at some point is very real. I somehow, inexplicably became that guy in his mid-40s, who was standing there, shaking like a leaf in a windstorm outside of the grocery store at 6:59 every morning seven days a week waiting for the clock to strike 7am so that I could purchase my vodka. Other than the availability of purchasing alcohol, time became somewhat meaningless to me, days and nights went by in a dark room, laying in a sweaty bed, all by myself for months. Food was of no interest. Exercise was impossible due to my weak state and my mental well-being was atrocious. I was so sick that the word sick doesn’t even do it justice. I became really not much more than an empty bottle and I’m pretty sure I’m always going to struggle with the shame of that. I certainly still do today and every day, even with some years of comfortable sobriety under my belt now.
Like you, I often think about my days of unrestrained, active alcoholism. In fact, I think about it every single day multiple times a day. Within those thoughts I always encounter a mixture of shame, regret, and confusion over how it all got so bad and how I let that happen to me. And if I’m honest, my daily ruminations usually end with me marveling in disbelief at the fact that I’m somehow still alive.
I often feel alone in my experience because even through all the hundreds and hundreds of AA meetings I’ve attended, I’ve rarely encountered anyone who knows what real real real heavy duty acute alcohol withdrawal feels like.
I’m not taking anything away from the soccer moms at AA meetings who decided they need to stop drinking wine with the girls on Wednesday afternoons. That’s good for them, but I need to hear from real bottom of the barrel alcoholics who became nothing more that a barely breathing sack of flesh who’s master(alcohol) dominated their existence with a cruel iron fist….and then survived it.
Thank you, once again for giving me the opportunity to wake up this morning and find a fresh new video from you. I first walked my dog, then eagerly brewed a pot of coffee and sat down to enjoy this with a clear, sober mind, free from the daily horrors and imprisonment of a 2 fifths of vodka a day habit.
Cheers buddy.
Hey Steve, good to see you again, and thanks for the thoughtful comment once again!
There's so much in this reply that I profoundly relate to. Waiting outside the shop at 6.59, feeling sick to the point that the word sick is inadequate, feeling like nothing more than an empty bottle. That's so real to me, and it's only ever a moment away.
More than anything else, I feel you about AA. I have no criticism of it, and everybody there is there fore the same reason, including me. But between me and you, I don't really have much time to hear a 20 year old talking up the room's time with a story about how drinking made their grades go down. I have all the time in the world for stories like yours.
I really appreciate your support and your comments.
When I look back and feel shame it's often when thinking about those times of alcohol availability. All the times of "shit, they stop selling in 20 minutes," or "why didn't I have the least bit of restraint and save those few shots for the morning," dressing to head out for morning "donuts" after a sleepless night and waiting for the time to pass. Makes me shudder.
I've also met few physically dependent alcoholics, the kind who would wake up just to drink and go back to sleep, keeping a steady stream of it going in every moment you're awake. It's real hell. It is a different beast from people whose negative consequences come from occasional binge drinking.
@@D-Fens_1632 Very much so. I remember that time, watching the clock, convincing myself I wouldn't go back to the liquor store tonight, and then grabbing my shoes and running out 5 minutes before it closed. It's a terrible way to live.
@@D-Fens_1632 you hit the nail right on the head, man. I’m sorry you went through what I went through, because I know how bad it was. But I’m grateful to know that you went through it because while we don’t know each other, I’m certain that you understand me on some level.
@@_BatCountryI found this channel tonight and watched your binge video and was able to avoid slamming all of the whiteclaws someone left in my fridge so thank you for that. By the time the video was over I felt like I had the experience of drinking again without having to do it.
I have never fully lost control of my drinking and have remained aware of how many consecutive days in a row I've completed of drinking, owned it and rode the binge hard. I guess when I've done it I try to do it in an elegant Johnny Depp respectable sort of way even though it eventually goes from making cocktails to just ripping all of the ingredients straight out the bottles. I turn it into a game of how drunk can I be and still function, like taking out a sailboat, playing golf, installing a light fixture for a friend - but fortunately not driving a car. Even blacked out, I'm usually still competent according to sources. I'm in my 40s and have quit many times since 30 but always go back for the fun of it w alcoholic friends or because I feel obligated on a date.
Things came to a head when I finally got severe withdrawals after going for a few weeks straight and stopped abruptly back a few years ago. Had some of my family tell me I was an alcoholic because I was drinking almost an entire 30 pack in a day doing yard work and building a deck and I was genuinely surprised at what they said. Alcohol had always been as normal as eating food, but I started doing the hair of the dog thing because I had to just to get some work done. Then it just turned into my morning go-to even on a standard weekend. I did ~55 days earlier this year. Currently about 30 days. I'd rather just never drink again. I also saw the Huberman episode and finally had a real excuse to quit: it's bad for you apparently.
Anyway, I must say that I thought I took things to the edge with my solo multi-day benders but you've opened my eyes to the reality of how much further it can go without just being a guy that sleeps on a sidewalk with a bottle. It's fascinating and slightly terrifying because I wonder if I would even be capable of going even further where I'm just laying in bed in a dark room. Your stories provide great perspective since you have actually lived it and come back to articulate the experience so well. I feel like I don't need to do that stuff anymore because I know the end result every time. I also have realized I never went that far all along. Still major use disorder but I left a lot on the table. I'll keep coming back to the channel because I need the reminders and I really appreciate your production, delivery and authenticity. Thanks!
I've been the last man standing at weddings and parties in Big Sky Montana. The Northern Rockies are savage.
When you really think about it. Drinking alcohol is literally madness.
I ended up here because i drank the same amount *roughly* as i do EVERY night but i ended up blacking out and faceplanting off my floor with a concussion and a broken nose and a black eye... I work in corprate America where image is everything and i lost mine... A wake up call is an understatement but this is exactly what i needed
I find a spot in the park with a view, and drink a sixpack. Then I smoke a joint in the end.
Usually it ends there. I don't really like to go any further, but occationally that happens.
Tried to stop 4 times for about a year long period now. I make it for about a month to two months... sigh
I guess I just felt like sharing it in case anyone can relate to this behaviour specifically.
A lot of people can probably relate to that. I wish you nothing but the best on your journey.
I love your content. I have ADHD and must admit I struggle with the background music.
The life of an alcoholic or a drug addict which are similar to a certain point can become difficult because YOU are you own worst enemy to begin with, you hate yourself and want to die, that is a fact. Second, family, friends, relatives, society can help you dig your grave sooner than later. You can always find good people, good friends along the way but many a times family is a hindrance instead of a helping hand and often it is understandable because alcoholism distorts your sense of living in peace with your immediate family.
To avoid all those things it's best to be sober and face the challenges of life be it difficult family and personal relationships without alcohol a substance which only promises immense problems besides the ones you already have.
Thanks Bat Country for your teachings and advice.
Your welcome brother, and thank you for your thoughtful comments.
I am all 5 points I have known for a while tried to stop several times but not been able to do it for any length of time thanks for the content
1. Another great video man, you hit the nail on the head with all five, I can totally relate of course.
2. Thanks for the shout-out dude!! That was awesome 🙌.
3. Im glad you’re a lord of the rings nerd like I am 🤣, favorite movies of all time!!!!
Keep up the good work brother. 💯
Thanks for watching brother!
Would be greater. If you skipped the English language lessons. Tomato 🍅?? Tomatoe?? 🍅. Why does it matter????
homemade cider? Are you from the SW of england by any chance?
Hampshire, but it's the same in principle :)
My ex is Slovak.
There they use the word Touristica for getting drunk while enjoying the outdoors
I loved touristica
Not true. I'm Slovak and I live in the mountains. It's Turistika, not Touristica. And it does not have anything in common with drinking, and it means hiking. No drinking including in that, just simple hiking in the mountains. Families with children go on turistika, not drunks :D
If you wonder if you’re an alcoholic. Your a alcoholic
there u go
using 10 words
to state
what took me
3 paragraphs..☻️
That’s the truth . My only saving grace was I was a gymaholic also . I thought if I keep training ,it would give me a form of protection- unfortunately I was totally wrong.I would hotfoot it from the gym to the pub and give it anywhere from 4-8 pints of relatively strong beer then have a few when I got home .Today I meet friends once a week and have only a few bottles , but if I wanted I could easily slip back into my old self . What I do is to keep a very visual picture of the times I looked in the mirror and was disgusted with myself , if I feel like I want to go back to my old ways I just pull up the mirror image.
Good health to all 🏃🏼
100%!!!!!
Exactly. Like being gay.
If you have to ask
one thing i always used to do (and still do, albeit way less), was sit in the bar and drink alone, keeping to myself at my table, while not being "alone"
Your introductions are fine. Long introductions help some of us focus on the video. And I have no problem with being called an alcoholic, but I'm 36 and I understand that perhaps it may be a term that's being phased out.
I thought I was an alcoholic because I was drinking a 6 pack (of heavier IPA's) a night so that I could go to sleep, which is very difficult for me otherwise due to a painful medical condition which has no cure and is difficult to treat. I found it difficult to moderate my drinking, and would usually drink until I blacked out and/or passed out on the couch. I would always do this alone at home. I used to never drink alone, preferring to do it socially on the weekends, but that was before my pain condition. I also never got hangovers, before drinking everyday or after. I'd probably only ever had 5 hangovers in my life, usually when partying with friends and drinking far more than usual. I always just wake up either still a bit drunk or comfortably numb, with it just fading out in the morning. A couple of days ago I decided to quit for religious reasons. I feel no urge at all to drink again. I suppose I could if I wanted to, but I am not really thinking about it. I don't feel bad, except for the pain and the lack of sleep. Unfortunately I feel like the pain and lack of sleep might be worse for me than the alcohol, which is not a great thought. So yeah, I definitely drink like an alcoholic (or did), but I guess I don't FEEL like one. My dad definitely is and always has been, as is my brother. But I don't know if I meet that definition. My wife says I am, but when I can quit cold turkey with no effects or strong urge to drink, I'm not sure that I am.
I might politely argue that your current sleep trouble might be a product of the withdrawal. In time, you might find your sleep returning to healthier levels.
@@_BatCountry No, because I have the same pain even with alcohol. I have erythromelalgia and my version is activated by pressure. The longer I lay on any side, the greater the aching pain I feel up to a certain extent, which usually feels like I got beat up all over. Alcohol tends to just allow me to sleep through it, but I wake up with the pain either way (just a little more numb sometimes). Without alcohol forcing me to sleep, I end up getting awakened by the pain to one degree or another and I just roll from side to side, half asleep to not asleep. It's day 4 for me with no alcohol and each days had been the same in terms of pain and lack of sleep. Oh, and I still don't feel any particular urge to drink or any other negative side effects that might get chalked up to withdrawals. Perhaps it's related to my lack of other feelings due to my autonomic nervous system disorder, namely lack of hunger, lack of satiety, lack of thirst, lack of fight or flight reaction, etc. Previously I kicked a snacking habit and a soft drink habit cold turkey as well. I don't say all this to brag. I actually am curious to figure out what exactly is going on with me because who knows, maybe they can bottle it!
Agree totally. Thanks for all your content.
Thanks for watching mate, and thanks for the comment.
I had all the signs. Hindsight being 20/20 I really think I have always been an alcoholic. I had my first taste of alcohol at 8. My first drunk at 13. I started doing drugs at 13. Started having sex at 13. Everything started at 13. My hangovers definitely turned into withdrawals a long time ago. Fortunately I got the gift of desperation and surrendered. I am so much happier now.
Puberty is a major threshold. For me, sex and booze are intertwined, and I was also active early in both.
Same. People don't believe me whenni say you have to relearn everything after you get sober. Sex and relationships included.
I'm watching this because i'm worried my friend has a problem. Drunkest in the room? yes, awful hangovers? yes drinking alone? often. How can i broach this with him in a way he won't get defensive?
Give him my email address, it's in the description. I'll tell him for you.
@@_BatCountry that's very kind of you. Just need to figure out how to tell him "hey email this guy" know what i mean
Brillant listen the last 3 issues are definitely me at this moment in time ....hope this sinks in to me ...cos help doesn't help me makes me worse ....have to try it alone ....I often walk around with vodkas...so easy yet I think it helps ...
another great video that I can completely relate to! Thankyou for your honesty 😊
Thanks! Always good to see you here :D
A couple of glasses of Prosecco most nights really relax me - it doesn’t evolve into anything more than that, but im still worried im addicted - im very anxious person - by the way your videos are great for falling asleep to! Very soothing voice :)
I'm not here to preach, but I would say that my anxiety, which was serious enough to be medicated for, went away almost completely after I quit.
@@_BatCountry ❤️ I need to try to give up completely , thank you for your videos I watched another one last night
@@_BatCountry I’m also on anti anxiety and ocd meds
that end about the emails... that hits home
Thanks, I think a lot of people can relate to that bit!
There's another person the labels "alcohol use disorder" or "problematic drinking" impacts - the third party. The role shame plays in "alcohol use disorder"/"alcoholism" is important, the words see the person as apart from the behavior. Personally, I find a lot of sober communities pretty self flagellating, I imagine I'm going to get comments much the same. For me, seeing the person as apart from the behavior, as somebody with agency and not an essential trait, is more helpful because it centers the agency.
An alcoholic is a pariah and invites treatment as such by others.
Every thing you’ve said is my daughter. She is struggling and it’s painful, thank you.
Drop me an Instagram message if you want to talk about it mate. Links in the video description
When I stopped drinking over 10 years ago I saw all my friends drinking in different eyes. They drink, alot and could care less about whether they drink around me or not, which to me was disrepectful. I stopped going to get together's because each and every time it was really just an excuse for others to get drunk together. I don't hate them for it because at one time I didn't want to go anywhere that didn't sell alcohol (football games, concerts, dinner out, parties) but now I rather just not go if it's a drunk fest.
Yeah exactly. My social life has taken a hit, but my actual life is far better.
This isn’t the lesson I should’ve learned from your video, but apparently I’m far off from being an alcoholic. I only drink in company and most of the time I’m capable of stopping and going home to rest.
the second point is a bit bonkers right? either you can handle your drink or you get too drunk, both mean alcoholism?
Love your video and I'm so happy to have fond your podcast. For myself I stared drinking at 18. The legal age here in the province Quebec in Canada. That was a little late I was the last one out of my group of friends. Like I said started at 18 and I was hooked by 18. At about 19 or 20 I went to an AA meeting with a friend she was having major issues with both alcohol and drugs'. Once I heard the speaker I knew I had a problem. Even that I knew it deep down. I was a blackout drinking from the start. The longest I been sober was 5 years and 11 months. Then relapsed that was about 5 years ago maybe more. In that time I have put in months at a time sober. Two years ago I went to rehab, they used CBT it was a great help. however came back to a chaotic living situation then relapse after 5 months. Now I have puts months at a time sober again. I'm primarily doing AA meeting. Yet at times I have my doubts. I know that I really need to add some SMART Recovery meeting again.
Hey Lyle! I have a few comments recently from various remote parts of Canada, I guess there must be something a little lonely about the place that drives people into the bottle.
You mentioned you have doubts about AA, what are they?
@@_BatCountry I been having some issues with step 6 and 7. I keep working on them. I just rally don't know if God would take away some parts of ego. I am just not sure it works like that. I know many people that AA has worked for I even knew a man that had 68 years sober when he passed away. Yet I'm not sure if my issues are more psychological then spiritual.
@@lylemccomber9460 that's a sophisticated critique, and while I would dearly love to say something to reconcile it for you, I actually agree. In fact is go even further: to consider your own little addiction to be the focus of God's attention is surely the height of egoism. So ummm... good luck figuring that one out. If you come to a satisfactory resolution, do let the rest of us know what it is
@@_BatCountry Thank you I 100% agree with you about egoism. Nothing more I really want in my life is to be sober. Yet I wonder if God who is running all of creation would stop and say " Lyle is thinking about having some Jack Dandles I need to stop and keep him sober." Don't get me wrong I love the 12 steps groups. I just wonder if at this point of time what else could be done to fight addiction. I have seen people walk into AA and other 12 step groups and do very well. Yet I have sadly known who have died from addiction. For myself I have done so/so with the 12 step groups. I do have some great people around me in AA. I may just be at a point where I am a little lost. But I am just going to keep trussing the process.
I've had a dysfunctional relationship with alcohol since I was a teenager. I would drink with the express intention of getting drunk, and I didn't realize that was abnormal behavior until so much later. (What? People drink just one drink and they're fine just not feeling anything?! What a waste!") I am so incredibly lucky that I had a partner that realized what was happening and I was still in a place where I could think rationally about it, so I never crossed the line into chemical dependency, but I easily could have and it scares me. I was self medicating for ADHD and C-PTSD. Psychiatric care was crucial.
Thanks for watching! I was also self-medicating for PTSD - naturally I didn't know it at the time. You're right, good care is absolutely crucial, and so is being able to ask for and receive help. Hope you're doing better these days!
great info and orientation, thank you.
For me, it was a matter of accepting something that I already knew... which is to say, if you're asking the question, then you already have the answer as well.