I hit 352 today!AA has changed my life immensely…not only with sobriety but with my entire outlook on life. Before my life was full of constant fear and anxiety. The serenity I have experienced this year has finally allowed me to truly live.
The worst part about being sober is being around your mates when they're drunk. 6 months clean here. Was a full-blown alcoholic. Driving drunk every day for work. I love my life now. Put on muscle, got a motorbike and love my wife and daughter like a dad should. I was a loser. Now i love myself, and i am proud again. Something i never thought I'd say. I started watching this channel at the beginning of my sobriety, and it has helped me a lot. Lots of love people. If you wake up and drink, you need help immediately. If you are hiding the cans and bottles, you need help. STOP before you start to turn yellow. FRIGHTENING RIGHT! BUT THATS WHAT YOU NEED. THAT FEAR WILL SAVE YOUR LIFE.
@JJ-eb8eu it really does. My eye lids were black and starting to turn yellow. That freaked me out really bad. Went cold turkey and stopped that day. Didn't have delirium tremendous thank God, but had withdrawals.
Back in 2018 my husband went to an AA meeting for the first time. He came back home and told me he didn't belong there because he was not as bad as they were. Fast-forward to August 2019 and he is dead, deleted himself for existence. Both our lives are destroyed by alcohol. He was never arrested, never DUI'd, never committed crimes. He was never "that bad".
Sorry for your loss. I think there's one type of alcoholic , 2 types of people, functional and dysfunctional. Some drinkers overdrink and nothing happens apart from damaging their bodies others damage their bodies but become behaviourally anti social so they damage everything around them too.
Sorry for your trouble. These are the guys I am talking about. My brother was like that, went to work, wasn’t a fighter, didn’t drive, but he was starting to piss people off. I am not baby sitting my 25 year old brother.
I was absolutely in that trap. I started watching your videos just suggested by the algorithm when i thought i was maybe having a bit much to drink, but then when i saw your video about rock bottom I thought "oh thats whats gotta happen to me to truly be an alcoholic". Then as time went on my drink after work became drinks everyday, then it became day drinking on my days off, and the amount i drank would increase. I never wanted to get really drunk, I find that very unpleasant, but I would drink to be moderately drunk for as long as I can. Then this morning I woke up, not particularly hungover, but I suddenly realised how much harder it was for my brain to think than how it used to be. Obviously that had been a process over time but it was an obvious sign that at the very least my alcohol use is damaging to my health. Then watching you video today it really resonated letting friends down, missing work too hungover, totally neglecting my study after work. It has taken me for a state of slowly progressing forward to not just stopping me but sending me backwards. Ive been very isolated from friends, as I did find my alcohol use embarassing, or if i wasn't already drunk the anxiety would really get to me. Today i was chatting to a friend (one I neglected seeing) and realised how much more enjoying and fulfilling just a simple conversation was compared to any time I've drank. Not even 24 hours sober yet, but hopefully my recognition of my problem will make those days tick up! I want to go back to my brain not being severely impaired, and I know that wont happen overnight. It's the start of a journey!
Weirdly I said this morning I felt like caving and going to get a nice bottle of wine..then I put TH-cam on and this was the first thing I saw.. Iam a great believer in manifestation so! I’ll not be buying that wine..(2 months sober) 😊❤️
Just discovered your channel and have been completely captivated by your content. My dad wasn't "that bad". He never experienced DTs. He never went on the kind of benders you often describe, he mostly just drank beer at home and the pub. He never went to a single AA meeting and only began labelling himself as an alcoholic in the last year of his life. He surrounded himself with people who were "worse" than him to justify his own drinking. Within his circle of pub cronies, he was the erudite philosopher, the man who would dole out life advice whilst his friends were having limbs amputated etc. Despite all of that, he still destroyed his marriage/our family. He still caused my sister and I massive amounts of trauma due to his simultaneously reactive and negligent parenting throughout our lives. He still wound up technically homeless after losing his job and burning through all of his savings. He still drank himself to death, succumbing to liver cancer at the age of 63. One good thing to come of it is that I am sober because of him. Thank you for doing the work you are doing.
I don’t drink most days. I’m not that bad. I can stop when I feel like it. I’m not that bad. I’m not always the most drunk in a room. I’m not that bad. I walk the dog in the morning so I can’t be that bad. I don’t call in sick, I’m fine. I can just hold my alcohol and have a high tolerance so I’m not that bad. I’m a happy drunk so I’m not that bad. Compared to other impulsive behaviour; drinking feels pretty normal so I can’t be that bad. All things I tell myself yet here I am. Taking 6 weeks off drinking to see how I feel by the end. Great channel!
This is very interesting for me. I was a low level drinker for years and honestly didn't think I had a problem. It was beers in front of the TV or wine to sleep, or sitting in the pub and drawing / journalling with beers. It took me so long to realise that in my case my depression and OCD were made so much worse by alcohol. I'd have incredibly intense episodes of depression for a week or more which would leave me completely shattered and I'm sure now booze was the trigger, because I was just more vulnerable than average. Even therapists I saw didn't think I was drinking too much. I left my job to try cycle touring in Europe and that didn't work out, I'm sure the low level evening drinking while I was there was what messed that up for me. What I think now is the case is - ADHD encourages evening drinking to unwind, but importantly ADHD also often causes poor quality sleep. So if you drink regularly with ADHD you are basically starving yourself of sleep, which messes everything else up. So a low level of drinking caused me massive issues. Just my take on it at the moment.
The ego of an alcoholic keeps a sliding scale on what "that bad" actually is. Alcoholism is progressive; if you're not at a point yet, you will be in time. If you cannot control the amount you drink now, don't expect that level of self-control to fall out of the sky and solve your drinking problem. If you drink to treat anxiety, don't expect a sense of ease and comfort to manifest and solve your drinking problem. If you're drinking to treat depression, don't expect that you're going to wake up one day with the motivation to get it together. I ended up in "that bad" territory waiting for a magic solution to the various problems in my life that were driving me to drink.
i had been off & on homeless as a teen before i was drinking alcoholic-ly, so when in my 20s, 30s,40s& 50s i would end up homeless again becuz of my drinking, it didn't seem like a rock bottom, DTs in my 50s should have been rock bottom, but the anxiety of going sober was a stronger motivation for me to not quit than the hellish consequences of continuing to drink.. rock bottom is elusive to guage, but motivation is key, my thought is that people who drink like i drank were motivated by something in order to drink like that, & for me to quit, i also had to be motivated by something. mercifully, I found from reading Eckhart Tolle, watching/listening to his videos, I started observing, feeling presence within & beyond the addictive thinking/ negative voice(s) in my head.. which before I started noticing, the thoughts, voices in my head, would always cause more anxiety that would inevitably steer me back toward drinking..
One year Sober 2 days ago - I love this channel and I just wanted to say that for the people who claim they are not "that bad", they have a drinking problem but just haven't addressed it. Also you will come to New Zealand one day - make it happen 🙂
I needed this video. I've been skirting the edge of sober content for a while now. Been lurking on r/stopdrinking for years, while continuing to drink. I am the person you describe in this video. I have 3 drinks a night. Sometimes less, sometimes a good bit more. I've been drinking heavily for 15 years now. Other than weight gain and other manageable health issues, it has not caused any issues of note in my life. But I have wanted to stop for a while. I've felt like I had a problem for a while. I've known that it's not normal to need 3 or 4 drinks to fall asleep every night. But because I've not started to spiral towards a rock bottom, I've had no motivation, absolutely ZERO inclination to stop. I don't know how to find that motivation right now. But I'm glad I found your channel. I'll keep watching, explore your backlog and hopefully figure my shit out. Thank you for sharing your stories.
Your videos helped me to not drink during anxiety attack this night. Thanks. For me alcohol is a substitute for my real addiction (self harm, 1 year clean but frequently get urges). I don't drink to deal with my feelings more than 2-3 weeks combined in a year, idk if it "counts", but it doesn't matter, I don't want to go further anyway. Thanks man.
Hey, thanks for watching and for the comment. And I know where you're coming from - in fact I don't consider my drinking to be drinking, it really was self harm, that's exactly what it was. If you're anything like me, alcohol is not really a substitute, just a change of medium. You sound like you're mostly on top of it so forgive me if that sounds patronising, but you might want to talk to someone who's got clean completely, because often we have to change more than just the most obvious problem to address what's underneath it. Email's in the description if you want to vent.
I need to break the cycle but I can't. The "You can't drink safely" argument makes me NEVER want to stop. By the way, I downloaded your audiobook last week before you even mentioned you had one! Looking forward to it.
You’re more worth it than alcohol. I hope you break through your cycle. Addiction is a symptom of a bigger problem, taking away the Cycle without replacing it with something peaks the choice paralysis and anxiety.
“Addiction is not a spectrum; only the consequences are.” Great insight! I will share that with my AA group at the next meeting. They all loved your video on “the kindling effect”. You’re being of great service to alcoholics in recovery!
If you’re REALLY bad off (like I was) people and “friends” will keep you around the party so they can point the blame and not feel like the real drunk in the room. Facts. 💯
Agree 💯. I’ve found, purely from observation, that drinkers in general are some of the most judgmental people I’ve ever seen. There’s no compassion, no understanding, just sh1t talk about others, who are ‘that bad’ throwing people in their direction, rather than their own. I work in a pub; I’ve seen it with my own eyes. It’s very interesting on a psychological level. Huge blame culture.
I’ve seen many drunks and drug addicts marry someone slightly “worse”, and then feel better about their own substance abuse by yelling at their spouse all the time about his/hers. If/when the “worse” spouse decides to rehab, the abuse actually escalates. Everything possible is done to undermine that rehab in a desperate attempt to keep the status quo of feeling superior.
Fuck whatever you think anyone else thinks! You are your only hope of surviving. Start thinking about what you want to be, and if you get it right, nothing going on around you will derail you. If you fall down, get back up, and hopefully you will understand what I'm saying without having to keep getting up one too many times.
That's true. My father was an alcoholic. He once sat me down when I was about 10, and explained to me how a neighbor's strange behavior was due to him "drinking too much.". All I could think of was, and you don't?
I’m a drinker of over 45 years drinking on and off… periods of sobriety and held down a good job working in mental health for 22 years until.. drink caught up and I ended up hospitalised and detoxed 3 times from last December until March this year. Been sober over 3 months after 1 bottle vodka a day.. unbelievably after all that drinking my liver/bloods are ok?? So at 63 and a journey - with spectacular episodes much like your own.. including a flight across the Atlantic 30 years ago that ended up with a removal of a while isle of people and the notice from the attendant when we got to Florida when I woke up..” where’s the bottle?? We would have turned this plane around if we hadn’t been so far over the ocean!!”… I got away without arrest and continued with a full on drinking holiday!! Anyway - your video today is an incredibly important one.. take care! “ Silvo”
Just started watching the video but I continued to drink for so long because I was always a _"Happy Drunk"._ Never got violent, always passive and stoic regardless of how bad things had gotten, any pain I felt was self-inflicted and I deserved it.
Perhaps, just Perhaps, you were not so happy and stoic, as alcohol often tricks one into thinking they are something they aren't?? I was pretty solitary, but many believe they are the life of the party, while not so intoxicated ppl see someone just acting the fool . My dad was like that.
i relate to this as a hysterical teenager i assumed i would be an evil alky type i surprised myself lol... this video is good and relevant best wishes to u
As much alcohol as I’ve consumed over the past 23 years I can confirm that when you hit your rock bottom you know it. Alcohol isn’t worth it and just made me more sweaty, thirsty and hate myself for not being able to quit. 16 days sober today and I’m so glad that I decided this is as much as I can take. Terrible drug, terrible how it makes you do things you wouldn’t normally do sober. Also I’ve saved almost $900 by quitting drinking. It can be a very expensive habit.
Going to buy the audiobook tomorrow! My ADHD mind can't focus enough to actually READ a book, but I am looking forward to listen to it 🙌 A family member of mine is caught in this trap. Seeing this person with sober eyes makes it so obvious that he has a problem with alcohol (or that he IS an alcoholic, but nobody dares to call it that) and that his behavior isn't normal. But he surrounds himself with people that either drink like him, or worse. I guess even without any kind of social media access, some alcoholics gravitate towards likewise drinkers, which makes it easy for them to find someone worse off. He has health problems that are related to or worsened by alcohol, he lost his driving license and his job due to a DUI, he forgets to meet his family or shows up drunk, … the list of negative consequences is endless. But he would never even consider, that his relationship to alcohol isn't normal. He knows people that are REAL alcoholics and he is nothing like them - that's what he thinks.
I think this is great advice and a valid point, we are all at different levels and points of our alcoholism, I'm probably more mentally addicted than physically addicted to alcohol as I've never been one for drinking every day, binging at weekends and days off, holidays etc was my bag but on days when I wasn't drinking, I was thoroughly miserable ! a newish development coupled with the physical toll on my body and organs, which had become obvious to me and my loving family, who I treated badly when really drunk ( not physical but verbally). So yes, there are different levels of this illness but we are all in the same boat ! get help if you can't help yourself. Anyway, 11 weeks sober now, feeling great but not complacent. Thanks Stu. Bat Country is a valuable part of my recovery. ❤
Delicious!! *I wasn't "that bad" either.... You, are "chilling" , or your experiences are actually, but the laid back coffee shop style is a soothing way to offer up sobering truth . ☕️ ☕️ ☕️
682 days sober, if you had told me that two years ago I would have not belived you. Somehow something showed me a way out of the darkest tunnel to hell.
Hey Bat Country just getting a chance to watch and comment on your video. It was an extremely powerful one. The comparison of severity of AUD and for those on sober journeys time under belt is constantly being compared. The well I’m still able to hold a job and function can just leave you trapped in the cycle. Bottom line, no amount of alcohol is safe or healthy but for someone suffering from this disease a drop can end your life. Thank you for another eye opener. Hope you’re well.
Thanks for watching, and for the comment. I completely agree - no amount of alcohol is good for anyone, but it's especially bad for us. Get off the ride as early as possible.
I don’t have a drinking problem nor am I close with anyone who does. For some reason though, I find your channel so comfy to put on in the background as I do chores.
Mr. Bat has a good audio aesthetic. Some channels with content I am really compelled to listen, I just can't because either the voice or the quality of the audio is just so jarring
I was made redundant today,and am absolutely gutted obviously. Normally that would be a bottle of vodka time, but I've been watching these videos daily and I've not even been tempted. Not going to ruin my 82 days of sobriety. So thank you for keeping me strong 💪
I drink once a week, usually during weekends. But when I drink, I drink a lot and I feel terrible the next day (but that’s probably nothing compared to what you and other people watching this video have been through) Videos like these are what keep me from picking up a bottle the next day! Your videos are great and your voice is amazing for storytelling. Keep doing what you do!
Turns out the best research we have now says that’s the worst way to drink you should never have more than 1 drink per day as a female and 2 as a male or you are doing lasting damage exponentially more for every drink over that turns out people who drank heavily for a time then quit completely have worse outcomes than people who have 1-2 drinks per day every day
@@nothanks9503 Interesting! And it DOES make a lot of sense considering the impact it has on your liver when you consume huge amounts of alcohol in just a few hours… So all in all, one beer every day of the week is «better» than 7 beers in one sitting. Not that I would ever recommend any of those options on a sobriety oriented channel of course!
@@niklasroterud3095 1 beer every day for your whole life seems to be better than 7 beers in one night 1 time although we gained this data because a study was done incorrectly however that is what the correct data would suggest
@@niklasroterud3095 the problem with that 1 beer a night is if that’s your average consumption you’re probably going to have more than 1 beer some nights
@@niklasroterud3095 of course the best outcome is 0 drinks ever which was definitely shown to be better than 1-2 drinks per night the study that showed that was the case is the incorrectly done study I was referring to
This is a very good question I've been asking myself. At my worst I used to drink half a litre of gin per day and a few pints of beer, which is not a crazy amount. Never drove drunk, never came to work drunk BUT I had pretty bad withdrawals, dry heaving, vomitting, seeing the world like through a fog. And I did miss 2 trains this year because of my drinking when I was visiting my friends, so they had to wait for me. Now for the past 2 months I reduced my intake to about 8 pints of beer a week (spread over about 2 days, right now writing this post sober:-)). No more withdrawals, no need for hair of the dog but it is very hard for me to moderate because the cravings are there for more and they are strong. That's probably what makes me THAT bad. If I was 100% sure I can continue moderating like this then it wouldn't be an issue but I'm not sure.
I am an alcoholic who was able to go to work, live a sort of normal life. Like you, I had the sickness in the morning, vomiting, seeing the world through a haze. Over the years I've tried to limit my drinking, but I realized I'm not like normal people who drink. I'm different. Me hiding bottle of booze around the house is not normal. It is so obvious to me now, sober 4 years, that I had a problem. Deep down, the little voice inside me kept saying 'you need to stop, get help'. I ignored it for years. It took me to being drunk 24/7 during covid, my wife leaving, finally divorcing me to have a wake up moment and quit. AA has helped me a lot, as well as TH-cam clips. My life is so much better without the booze. I hope you find the answer.
@@DJVolte hope you're able to get some sleep, sleep for me was so elusive when I drank, took a while after stopping til my nerves calmed down enough to really sleep, I can only tell you that _it does get better_ one day & one night atta time..
@words4dyslexicon at 3am it'll be one week for me. Those first 3 or r days there was no sleeping. But it's getting better. I'm glad I stopped when I did. I genuinely feel great. I know it's the pink cloud phenomenon but I'm riding it for all it's worth.
I preordered your book and just received it Friday at my home located in Illinois USA. I’m an alcoholic that is doing my best to be in recovery and am excited to read it. Had my first and only case of tremens early this summer and it scared me to death and lead me down the path of finding you.
Keep it up Stu. You remind me of my good friend Justin who struggled with addiction issues most of his adult life. He was a fearsome intellect and great raconteur but his metal health always got in the way of him properly settling or supporting himself in a 'normal' way. I guess his rock and roll demeanour was what drew me to him and we were close friends for many years when he lived in London. I'd like to think you would get on with him as your demeanour is similar but he could be a curmudgeonly bugger when it came to meeting new people so perhaps not. His drinking patterns were very similar to those you talk about in your own stories, particularly the walking and drinking bit which he he used to do with a couple of cans year ago but later bottles of vodka from the corner shop (and also drinking in bed in the dark at one point). After being arrested and hospitalised he realised the path he was on and tried to straighten out and went to numerous AA and NA meetings and was sober for the last few months of his life. Difficult family events led him to a binge though and he was found dead in his bedsit in May this year. I still absentmindedly think about whatsapping him but then realise he's not there anymore. If you can help prevent anyone going through that with your videos then good on you.
I love your way with words. Us addicts are often very intelligent people as you clearly are. I made it two weeks sober (or more dry drunk) and ultimately ended up relapsing. While it hasn't been the severe type where police or doctors get involved it is still very alarming for me. I'll keep coming back to your channel.
I love your conclusion here! I have been working with a newcomer and she is having a lot of trouble with the "I'm not really an alcoholic" and "I was not that bad" line of thinking. It's made me so incredibly grateful for the lack of ambiguity with my own disease. There is no doubt that I am an alcoholic and for that I actually feel incredibly blessed. Awesome topic, thanks for the great video!
@_BatCountry Well, at this point, she's been around since the beginning of the summer, and she's in and out, in and out. She has a desire to stop drinking, and it's obvious to her that her life when she's not doing AA is unmanageable, but nothing terrible happens to her when she's drinking. She is able to keep her daily intake down to just afternoons and evenings, and she never touches liquor, so she thinks she's in control. I have suggested to her that she needs to figure out if she's an alcoholic and she will probably benefit from a very thorough first step with her sponsor. At this point she's back so I stay willing to take her to meetings and include her in fellowship but I see her reservations and expect that eventually she's going to have to go have her fill and find herself a bottom that's a bit lower than sipping wine during her morning meetings. I continuously tried to fit alcohol into my life for 9 years after I figured out I was an alcoholic. I put the bar on the floor for myself so I could walk over it and still found a way to dig under it. Some of us learn the hard way. I want so badly to save her the time and the anguish I went through, but without it, I don't see her admitting her powerlessness.
Excellent, thoughtful video - I have come back to watch it again for motivation. (By the way, I am from New Zealand originally - I hope you manage to reconcile with your connection there).
I have a lot of viewers in NZ, must be something in the water. Thanks for watching and for the support, and I hope you get this thing beaten for the long term.
Thank you for your video. A sponsee of mine turned me on to your channel. I'm 8 years sober now and fell victim to the title of this video years back. I'm one of the few lucky enough to have lived to tell about it. I agree wholeheartedly with your take on we have it, or we don't. I don't recognize a spectrum. That's why I take the approach of focusing on the frame of mind that the alcoholic is in before taking that deadly 1st drink that triggers the unstoppable craving. No matter how far off in life experience I can be with another alcoholic, we always seem to have that same ability to rationalize a drink or just completely block out the consequences altogether. My bottom wasn't material losses or found in a jail cell. Mine was in the mirror, looking at a person that I could not stand to be any more. Your video helped remind this alcoholic that I am right where I need to be and where I will end up if I were to ever drink again. Thank you for your honesty and recognition of the severity of this disease. Sincerely, Scott O
Hey Scott! Glad to see my videos are creeping into the rooms, and I'm glad you see some value here. So interesting to me that you specifically called out the 'spectrum' - I'm with you, in fact I included that bit of language as a kind of hedging strategy and rather wish I hadn't said it at all. You sound like a pretty good sponsor mate. Congrats on your sobriety, long may it continue!
Coming up on 6 months sober! Best of luck to everyone struggling to stay on track, love you all. I absolutely feel into this trap. I work in a hospital and I constantly see people die of complications related to alcohol abuse. I would read their social history, see that some people had been drinking liters of vodka every day for years and think “I’m only drinking 4-6 beers a day, I’m not going to die from this.” I was just lying to myself. I’m very fortunate that the stars aligned in my favor and I had the foresight to understand that I either faced this demon now or let things get worse and worse. I’m not stronger or more mindful than anybody else, I’m incredibly lucky that I was scared into taking action earlier. Please please do not ignore the reality of your problem. There’s no doubt that if I had kept drinking it would have spiraled out of control. I would have reached a point where I looked back and said “why the hell didn’t I stop when it wasn’t as big of a problem?”
This is what I have, been going for years at this point but haven't really partied or binged significantly for a long time. I think it's a defense mechanism for the habit, like if it keeps itself in line I won't do anything about it. I've been considering doing away with it for a while and have had some good stints. Don't know if I'm just not ready yet or what.
I want to thankyou its been a lot of years since 2012 , i was blown up oversees but watching your videos epesicialy relateded to your videos was monbogogling. I have gone in too dts 7 times and it scared the sh,t out of me. Love you brother
Great work dude. I wouldn't sweat it too much. It's sincerely admirable to question, poke and probe ones own assumptions and prior convictions. But at the end of the day everyone is an adult, and your duty of care ends when the information leaves your lips and enters their heads. They are gonna use it and process it in their own way. For myself I find it very hard to see myself any of the situations you describe. But I can totally empathize with that feeling of being in any situation, and no matter what's happening, if I've got a bottle of whiskey in my pocket I'm gonna feel fine. The alcohol giving me the ability to say fuck it and not care. Letting all that anxiety and responsibility fall away in a haze. You've helped me appreciate that, that feeling of invulnerability is a dangerous headspace to be in. I'm going to avoid it in the future. You like the Matrix right? What's the quote... 'I can only show you the door, you're the one who is going to have to walk through it'
This video hit home. I remember times when I would go to recovery meetings because someone in my life wanted me to, and I’d listen to the stories and think I’m nowhere near that bad. I’ll be fine. And I kept drinking for years, until one day my life was that bad, and by that point I was past caring and living for nothing except the next drink. Sadly for me, I wasn’t ready to admit I was powerless for a long time. If you’re like me I can’t say anything except god bless and I hope you survive. Not everyone is so lucky.
Thanks for this video, and making such relatable, helpful content. I stumbled across you yesterday and it's crystallised so much for me. I'm also 39, living in Cornwall, and have been doing a lot of soul searching over the last few years, alternating between spending a few weeks sober, wondering when I crossed the threshold, then trying to cross back over, and spiralling into what is clearly a relapse... I realise now, that it doesn't matter when I crossed the threshold, probably at least 15 years ago, my drinking was never quite the same as everyone else's, I was regularly the "at least I'm not as bad as that guy" ... we just live in a culture that normalised that behaviour... The point is, I have crossed the threshold, the last 5 years has really spiralled out of control, but it started long before that, and just a few of your videos has made me realise there's only one way out, and no way back. Thank you.
Bat! Thought provoking content, once again! You’re truth is your truth and your vulnerability and connection with this community is going to save lives, if it hasn’t already. Never doubt that the spoken reality of your lived experience is anything less than a gift to your audience. Everyone becomes sober curious at different times, from vastly diverse backgrounds and stages of addiction. They will all need something different, and there are many options out there. Your only responsibility is to the authenticity of your own experience, if that scares someone away from sobriety, they were not yet ready to begin their journey💫
Hi Stuart, sorry I'm late to this video, its a compliment to you that I save watching your videos untill i can give them my full attention. Thank you for covering yhis subject, I actually went through this because of watching your videos. I was not long sober and found your channel and watched 4/5 of them over a weekend which were fairly extreme stories, the week after I began questioning myself "why am I putting myself through this, all I want is a drink, I cant be that bad, look at Bat" fortunately I hung on in there and didn't listen to those thoughts, now i can see them for what they were....my alcohol gremlin trying to mental gymnastics an excuse/reason up to have a drink, I almost feel like naming him 😂 then I can at least say "oh fuck off Barry" when I see the cold cans in a shop. Thank you for doing these videos they help more than you will know
Tell you what mate, giving your urges a name actually might be a successful strategy - I've never heard anyone try that before but a solid "FUCK OFF BARRY" every now and then might genuinely be therapeutic. I think I might try it! Thanks mate, always good to see you here and you never need to apologise.
@@_BatCountry haha, while we are on names mines Barney A, for the cycling, can't remember why I ended up with jamestheferret, that was about 15yrs ago as my eBay name that then just spread through other platforms
Wow, thanks for sharing! Im sorry for all the pain alcohol caused you. I can see better how I used to downplay my drinking.... Its a life threatening disease...
I’ve started listening to the book. You are a fantastic storyteller. I’m 2+ yrs sober. My rock bottom came after many increasingly embarrassing/serious incidents over the years. It ended in injury, blackout, shame and fear that something truly terrible had occurred. Maybe it did. For me, that was compelling enough to trigger getting sober. My rock bottom was perversely helpful in transforming my life.
That's exactly why no one has to reach rock bottom. Excellent video, thank you so much for it, I'll check the video you've mentioned and the audiobook. Cheers
Hi, I just wanted to thank you for your videos, and it is no coincidence that I found your channel recently. I can relate to most of your videos and this content gives me hope for better future. It really allows me to get through the day at this stage. Just wanted to share my story really quickly. My first encounter with alcohol was at age 16. For next 15 years I was drinking more or less amounts of different brews/spirits (always almost alone in front of computer). The serious stage started at Covid 19 outbreak. I could probably give you ton of stories and details about those 15 years. From what I can recall it ended for me to be forced (than God) to closed rehab. After going cold turkey i got psychosis that lasted a month, experience beginning this year, (+ this there were empty heaves/vomits, constant anxiety) this was hell on earth and I wouldn't wish that to happen to worst enemy. At worst stage it was binge drinking for like 6 months ,( at the end it hit 0.7l of vodka per day). I started to lose family, wife, kids due to my drinking and eventually was forced to go to closed rehab. Actually, I did it for the closest ones so not to lose them, it really wasn't about me that time. I think it is miracle that it doesn't end with some delirium tremens/seizure/cirrhosis. I went to closed rehab for 30 days, then I managed to stay sober for like ~100 days. This was the best time in my "sober" life - I managed to "stand on my feet" (call it honeymoon stage). I was feeling so great that I got this false confidence that I beat that shit. Unfortunately, recently I had serious relapse, thank God I was able to stop this before it fully unleashed. Right now it is my first week without alcohol. At the same time I feel hope and fear. Thought that I managed to stop drinking for 100 days and got away from this hell of withdrawal gives me hope that this can be done, however, I'm afraid of future, as it requires a lot of work on yourself - giving up alcohol is not enough. I also know that opening the door of scourging myself for what I have done and to others is not the proper way - it ends with depression and self hatred. The thing now is that I believe that I can't do this alone, but on the other hand, I can't see value in A.A groups and therapies (I tried it already). People that stopped drinking, but the share the same story on each meeting, being either cocky or depressive about life, for some reason I'm not willing to surround myself with this type of environment. I'm 32 years old. I have been drinking for half of my life...
Hello mate! Congratulations on your progress so far, and thank you for the compliments. I don't have much to add, it seems like you have good people around you. But I'd say this is not a process to fear. Be excited about it. Yeah it's difficult sometimes, but you'll very soon start reaping the rewards, and your life is undoubtedly going to be better. Onwards and upwards mate.
Thumbs Up 👍 and shared out. If anything I think your videos are making more people aware of how extremely serious things can get. You are helping people.
Thank you for this upload. I was influenced by this perspective that you highlight instead stepping back and looking at myself and the direction I was going in and the inevitable outcome. My relationship with alcohol has been damaging but in a subtle, unassuming way. Time to retreat in a subtle, unassuming but very adamant way.
Great points! There isn't a hierarchy when it comes to addiction. It's not a competition! I didn't always drink every day, but whenever I drank, I could not stop! If you reach that point, and you're doing things like hiding bottles, sneaking drinks, finishing a 6-pack before 9 AM, getting drunk alone, or making up reasons for why you "deserve" to drink, you have a problem! I've met addicts from all walks of life in AA and rehab facilities over the years. From age 16 all the way up to age 74. Poor, middle class, rich, black, white, male, female, college educated, high school dropouts, and the common denominator among these people is that they all became powerless over alcohol, just like me! I knew a guy in rehab who could be described as "not that bad" who ended up dying of liver cirrhosis at age 45! So for anyone out there who "isn't that bad" right now, then it would be a great idea to get help before things get worse! Thanks for making this video my man! 🙏
Great, thoughtful video! Seriously, who can predict when that inner voice of piercing clarity chooses to declare “Ok enough of this shit”. I had so many incredibly sordid, outrageous and terrifying adventures where that voice chose to remain silent. But it appeared on a New Year’s Day after yet another pointless squabble with my wife and a tearful child who witnessed it. I wasn’t even really drunk, more like buzzed, but it was enough and the time was right and I was apparently ready for the change.
I didn't realize that I was bad enough until I decided that I wanted to stop. That's when I discovered the DTs. It was then I could see how I had gotten so bad and didn't notice. After watching you today, I think back when I saw others with so much worse situations than my own, the lessons shouldn't have been, thank God I'm not that bad, but more like, this is precisely where I am headed. And I also realize how easily I could have died when arriving to any one of my own worsening situations while my life deteriorated. Well, I made it all the way to as bad as could be, and at death's door, by some miracle, I didn't go through. Somehow I managed to survive.
I just put out a video about some scary stuff that happened as recently as last April. I was one of those that did think "I don't drink that much. I only got arrested for DWI." But, a shitload of time has been wasted because of my drinking career. Always happy when a new Bat Country video appears. BTW, I am about halfway through your book Stu. Very impactful and well-written. I think my only argument would be a liver destruction argument. A three glass a day wine drinker's liver is not going to suffer the same amount of damage as a handle of vodka a day drinker. Another great video, my friend.
Man this is an interesting revelation isn't it. I could find justification to keep going in nearly anything 2017/02/12. Great chat Stu, always a pleasure.
Excellent idea for a video. You are highlighting brilliantly just how manipulative the Drinking mind will be when it wants to justify more booze. But - and I hope you won’t mind me saying this - as our Grandmaster Boozer, you’re seen a few movies ahead for us. Another great video. Love how you find so many angles to help people. Keep it up, man.
My brother that is hard core. I am a drunk too. Extreme stories don’t have the impact for most people. You are certainly not doing anything wrong. Worry about yourself brother and keep plugging on. Too bad I can’t talk to you.
You are my favorite person to keep sobar, thankyou, unfortunantlty im possipply getting my gallbladder taking it out. But this is gonna take my recovery really serious at this this point. And i hope it helps others when you have too have organs takan out because of drinking.
@@_BatCountry i want to say i know your busy but for you to reply means alot and i thank you brother it means alot. In fact when i sent you those msgs i was in dts and thats why i misspelled things. Im back in the gym and doing better and able to keep my gallbladder and doing good. Thankyou brother
You don't have to wait until they cut off your foot before treating diabetes. You don't have to wait for a heart attack to start eating better and exercising. It's weird how drinking can be so much different than those other examples. I wish I would have tried to get help before flushing years down the toilet. but I was so arrogant back then that I needed to be humbled before i was ready to learn anything. I appreciate you taking the time to make these videos. I enjoy listening to you tell your story.
Hit one month sober from alcohol today!!!
👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👍🏻👌🏻
Congrats. I am coming up on four months from my last and hopefully, final relapse.
Good job! Keep on going like that
Before you know it, it will be 2 !!!
Actually, you WILL know it , and rejoice!!! 😅
Two months here to the day! Let's make it two and three, and then three and four, and then... (you should get the point by now).
352 days sober off alcohol today!
I hit 352 today!AA has changed my life immensely…not only with sobriety but with my entire outlook on life. Before my life was full of constant fear and anxiety. The serenity I have experienced this year has finally allowed me to truly live.
Give it hell brother.
The worst part about being sober is being around your mates when they're drunk.
6 months clean here.
Was a full-blown alcoholic.
Driving drunk every day for work.
I love my life now.
Put on muscle, got a motorbike and love my wife and daughter like a dad should.
I was a loser.
Now i love myself, and i am proud again.
Something i never thought I'd say.
I started watching this channel at the beginning of my sobriety, and it has helped me a lot.
Lots of love people.
If you wake up and drink, you need help immediately.
If you are hiding the cans and bottles, you need help.
STOP before you start to turn yellow.
FRIGHTENING RIGHT!
BUT THATS WHAT YOU NEED. THAT FEAR WILL SAVE YOUR LIFE.
Congrats! That’s really huge!!
Well done mate 👏 💪
Can I please ask. Does it really happen like that, wake up one morning & your eyes have turned yellow? Or is it a gradual thing?
@JJ-eb8eu it really does. My eye lids were black and starting to turn yellow. That freaked me out really bad. Went cold turkey and stopped that day. Didn't have delirium tremendous thank God, but had withdrawals.
@@CMoore8539thank you m8
10 days sober today, enjoying Bat Country
👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👍🏻👌🏻
Nice
Back in 2018 my husband went to an AA meeting for the first time. He came back home and told me he didn't belong there because he was not as bad as they were. Fast-forward to August 2019 and he is dead, deleted himself for existence. Both our lives are destroyed by alcohol. He was never arrested, never DUI'd, never committed crimes. He was never "that bad".
I'm sorry...
Sorry to hear that, I hope others read this.
Sorry for your loss. I think there's one type of alcoholic , 2 types of people, functional and dysfunctional. Some drinkers overdrink and nothing happens apart from damaging their bodies others damage their bodies but become behaviourally anti social so they damage everything around them too.
I’m damaged
Sorry for your trouble. These are the guys I am talking about. My brother was like that, went to work, wasn’t a fighter, didn’t drive, but he was starting to piss people off. I am not baby sitting my 25 year old brother.
I live with an alchoholic and this channel really helps me continue to see the humanity in my partner. Thank you.
Statistically that makes more of a difference than anything I believe addicts mostly die from neglect
She might make it, with someone like you on her side.
Drank for 20 years straight and quit cold turkey 13 months ago. Feels so good.
“Identify, don’t compare” was one of the sayings that stuck with me from A.A.
I was absolutely in that trap. I started watching your videos just suggested by the algorithm when i thought i was maybe having a bit much to drink, but then when i saw your video about rock bottom I thought "oh thats whats gotta happen to me to truly be an alcoholic". Then as time went on my drink after work became drinks everyday, then it became day drinking on my days off, and the amount i drank would increase. I never wanted to get really drunk, I find that very unpleasant, but I would drink to be moderately drunk for as long as I can.
Then this morning I woke up, not particularly hungover, but I suddenly realised how much harder it was for my brain to think than how it used to be. Obviously that had been a process over time but it was an obvious sign that at the very least my alcohol use is damaging to my health.
Then watching you video today it really resonated letting friends down, missing work too hungover, totally neglecting my study after work. It has taken me for a state of slowly progressing forward to not just stopping me but sending me backwards. Ive been very isolated from friends, as I did find my alcohol use embarassing, or if i wasn't already drunk the anxiety would really get to me. Today i was chatting to a friend (one I neglected seeing) and realised how much more enjoying and fulfilling just a simple conversation was compared to any time I've drank.
Not even 24 hours sober yet, but hopefully my recognition of my problem will make those days tick up! I want to go back to my brain not being severely impaired, and I know that wont happen overnight. It's the start of a journey!
Weirdly I said this morning I felt like caving and going to get a nice bottle of wine..then I put TH-cam on and this was the first thing I saw.. Iam a great believer in manifestation so! I’ll not be buying that wine..(2 months sober) 😊❤️
That’s not manifestation the algorithm could tell you were thinking about drinking
Just discovered your channel and have been completely captivated by your content. My dad wasn't "that bad". He never experienced DTs. He never went on the kind of benders you often describe, he mostly just drank beer at home and the pub. He never went to a single AA meeting and only began labelling himself as an alcoholic in the last year of his life. He surrounded himself with people who were "worse" than him to justify his own drinking. Within his circle of pub cronies, he was the erudite philosopher, the man who would dole out life advice whilst his friends were having limbs amputated etc. Despite all of that, he still destroyed his marriage/our family. He still caused my sister and I massive amounts of trauma due to his simultaneously reactive and negligent parenting throughout our lives. He still wound up technically homeless after losing his job and burning through all of his savings. He still drank himself to death, succumbing to liver cancer at the age of 63. One good thing to come of it is that I am sober because of him. Thank you for doing the work you are doing.
I don’t drink most days. I’m not that bad.
I can stop when I feel like it. I’m not that bad.
I’m not always the most drunk in a room. I’m not that bad.
I walk the dog in the morning so I can’t be that bad.
I don’t call in sick, I’m fine.
I can just hold my alcohol and have a high tolerance so I’m not that bad.
I’m a happy drunk so I’m not that bad.
Compared to other impulsive behaviour; drinking feels pretty normal so I can’t be that bad.
All things I tell myself yet here I am.
Taking 6 weeks off drinking to see how I feel by the end.
Great channel!
This is very interesting for me. I was a low level drinker for years and honestly didn't think I had a problem. It was beers in front of the TV or wine to sleep, or sitting in the pub and drawing / journalling with beers. It took me so long to realise that in my case my depression and OCD were made so much worse by alcohol. I'd have incredibly intense episodes of depression for a week or more which would leave me completely shattered and I'm sure now booze was the trigger, because I was just more vulnerable than average. Even therapists I saw didn't think I was drinking too much. I left my job to try cycle touring in Europe and that didn't work out, I'm sure the low level evening drinking while I was there was what messed that up for me. What I think now is the case is - ADHD encourages evening drinking to unwind, but importantly ADHD also often causes poor quality sleep. So if you drink regularly with ADHD you are basically starving yourself of sleep, which messes everything else up. So a low level of drinking caused me massive issues. Just my take on it at the moment.
The ego of an alcoholic keeps a sliding scale on what "that bad" actually is. Alcoholism is progressive; if you're not at a point yet, you will be in time. If you cannot control the amount you drink now, don't expect that level of self-control to fall out of the sky and solve your drinking problem. If you drink to treat anxiety, don't expect a sense of ease and comfort to manifest and solve your drinking problem. If you're drinking to treat depression, don't expect that you're going to wake up one day with the motivation to get it together. I ended up in "that bad" territory waiting for a magic solution to the various problems in my life that were driving me to drink.
Very true, and refreshing that you have used the term "progressive" correctly.
Rock bottom is a very personal judgement call for absolute sure.
i had been off & on homeless as a teen
before i was drinking alcoholic-ly,
so when in my 20s,
30s,40s& 50s i would end up homeless again becuz of my drinking,
it didn't seem like a rock bottom, DTs in my 50s should have been rock bottom, but the anxiety of going sober was a stronger motivation for me to not quit than the hellish consequences of continuing to drink..
rock bottom is elusive to guage,
but motivation is key, my thought is that
people who drink like i drank were motivated by something in order to drink like that,
& for me to quit, i also had to be motivated by something.
mercifully, I found from reading Eckhart Tolle, watching/listening to his videos,
I started observing, feeling presence within & beyond the addictive thinking/ negative voice(s) in my head..
which before I started noticing, the thoughts, voices in my head, would always cause more anxiety that would inevitably steer me back toward drinking..
One year Sober 2 days ago - I love this channel and I just wanted to say that for the people who claim they are not "that bad", they have a drinking problem but just haven't addressed it. Also you will come to New Zealand one day - make it happen 🙂
Atta boy.
I needed this video. I've been skirting the edge of sober content for a while now. Been lurking on r/stopdrinking for years, while continuing to drink. I am the person you describe in this video. I have 3 drinks a night. Sometimes less, sometimes a good bit more. I've been drinking heavily for 15 years now. Other than weight gain and other manageable health issues, it has not caused any issues of note in my life. But I have wanted to stop for a while. I've felt like I had a problem for a while. I've known that it's not normal to need 3 or 4 drinks to fall asleep every night. But because I've not started to spiral towards a rock bottom, I've had no motivation, absolutely ZERO inclination to stop. I don't know how to find that motivation right now. But I'm glad I found your channel. I'll keep watching, explore your backlog and hopefully figure my shit out. Thank you for sharing your stories.
5 months sober! One second at a time
👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👍🏻👌🏻
At some point, you will look up and realize you haven't thought about drinking for a week! A month! I thought it was crazy-talk, but it happens
Your videos helped me to not drink during anxiety attack this night. Thanks. For me alcohol is a substitute for my real addiction (self harm, 1 year clean but frequently get urges). I don't drink to deal with my feelings more than 2-3 weeks combined in a year, idk if it "counts", but it doesn't matter, I don't want to go further anyway. Thanks man.
Hey, thanks for watching and for the comment. And I know where you're coming from - in fact I don't consider my drinking to be drinking, it really was self harm, that's exactly what it was. If you're anything like me, alcohol is not really a substitute, just a change of medium. You sound like you're mostly on top of it so forgive me if that sounds patronising, but you might want to talk to someone who's got clean completely, because often we have to change more than just the most obvious problem to address what's underneath it. Email's in the description if you want to vent.
I need to break the cycle but I can't. The "You can't drink safely" argument makes me NEVER want to stop.
By the way, I downloaded your audiobook last week before you even mentioned you had one! Looking forward to it.
You’re more worth it than alcohol. I hope you break through your cycle. Addiction is a symptom of a bigger problem, taking away the Cycle without replacing it with something peaks the choice paralysis and anxiety.
@@FrostySnow1000 I'm in a really bad place and I don't feel safe accessing any of the usual resources
“Addiction is not a spectrum; only the consequences are.”
Great insight! I will share that with my AA group at the next meeting.
They all loved your video on “the kindling effect”. You’re being of great service to alcoholics in recovery!
If you’re REALLY bad off (like I was) people and “friends” will keep you around the party so they can point the blame and not feel like the real drunk in the room. Facts. 💯
wow.... most of my friends have stopped or chilled out w drinks but so have i compared to 25... We are all 50 now or turning 50
Agree 💯. I’ve found, purely from observation, that drinkers in general are some of the most judgmental people I’ve ever seen. There’s no compassion, no understanding, just sh1t talk about others, who are ‘that bad’ throwing people in their direction, rather than their own. I work in a pub; I’ve seen it with my own eyes. It’s very interesting on a psychological level. Huge blame culture.
I’ve seen many drunks and drug addicts marry someone slightly “worse”, and then feel better about their own substance abuse by yelling at their spouse all the time about his/hers. If/when the “worse” spouse decides to rehab, the abuse actually escalates. Everything possible is done to undermine that rehab in a desperate attempt to keep the status quo of feeling superior.
Fuck whatever you think anyone else thinks! You are your only hope of surviving. Start thinking about what you want to be, and if you get it right, nothing going on around you will derail you. If you fall down, get back up, and hopefully you will understand what I'm saying without having to keep getting up one too many times.
That's true. My father was an alcoholic. He once sat me down when I was about 10, and explained to me how a neighbor's strange behavior was due to him "drinking too much.". All I could think of was, and you don't?
I’m a drinker of over 45 years drinking on and off… periods of sobriety and held down a good job working in mental health for 22 years until.. drink caught up and I ended up hospitalised and detoxed 3 times from last December until March this year. Been sober over 3 months after 1 bottle vodka a day.. unbelievably after all that drinking my liver/bloods are ok?? So at 63 and a journey - with spectacular episodes much like your own.. including a flight across the Atlantic 30 years ago that ended up with a removal of a while isle of people and the notice from the attendant when we got to Florida when I woke up..” where’s the bottle?? We would have turned this plane around if we hadn’t been so far over the ocean!!”… I got away without arrest and continued with a full on drinking holiday!! Anyway - your video today is an incredibly important one.. take care! “ Silvo”
Just started watching the video but I continued to drink for so long because I was always a _"Happy Drunk"._ Never got violent, always passive and stoic regardless of how bad things had gotten, any pain I felt was self-inflicted and I deserved it.
Perhaps, just Perhaps, you were not so happy and stoic, as alcohol often tricks one into thinking they are something they aren't??
I was pretty solitary, but many believe they are the life of the party, while not so intoxicated ppl see someone just acting the fool . My dad was like that.
@@CraigFox-lt6lt Alcohol made me happy, that's why I drank.
i relate to this as a hysterical teenager i assumed i would be an evil alky type i surprised myself lol... this video is good and relevant best wishes to u
As much alcohol as I’ve consumed over the past 23 years I can confirm that when you hit your rock bottom you know it. Alcohol isn’t worth it and just made me more sweaty, thirsty and hate myself for not being able to quit. 16 days sober today and I’m so glad that I decided this is as much as I can take. Terrible drug, terrible how it makes you do things you wouldn’t normally do sober. Also I’ve saved almost $900 by quitting drinking. It can be a very expensive habit.
You’ll save much much more in time. Especially in today’s economy. Stay strong.❤
@@CMoore8539 ty I appreciate your support!!! Feeling great most of the time. It’s not so hard.
900 in 16 days wtf were you drinking?! Liquid gold?!
At my worst I spent 70 a month on booze
Congrats to you on the 16 days! ❤👏
Best video I’ve seen on a subject very close to my heart. Thank you for this.
Hit my rock bottom 2023. Sober since Jan 2024.
"Watching Family Fortunes with a Bud Light" ... a subtle and very funny way of making a very serious point.
Going to buy the audiobook tomorrow! My ADHD mind can't focus enough to actually READ a book, but I am looking forward to listen to it 🙌
A family member of mine is caught in this trap. Seeing this person with sober eyes makes it so obvious that he has a problem with alcohol (or that he IS an alcoholic, but nobody dares to call it that) and that his behavior isn't normal. But he surrounds himself with people that either drink like him, or worse. I guess even without any kind of social media access, some alcoholics gravitate towards likewise drinkers, which makes it easy for them to find someone worse off.
He has health problems that are related to or worsened by alcohol, he lost his driving license and his job due to a DUI, he forgets to meet his family or shows up drunk, … the list of negative consequences is endless. But he would never even consider, that his relationship to alcohol isn't normal. He knows people that are REAL alcoholics and he is nothing like them - that's what he thinks.
12 years of continuous sobriety here. There is a way out. AA worked for me, but there are other methods. Blessings to all ❤
I think this is great advice and a valid point, we are all at different levels and points of our alcoholism, I'm probably more mentally addicted than physically addicted to alcohol as I've never been one for drinking every day, binging at weekends and days off, holidays etc was my bag but on days when I wasn't drinking, I was thoroughly miserable ! a newish development coupled with the physical toll on my body and organs, which had become obvious to me and my loving family, who I treated badly when really drunk ( not physical but verbally). So yes, there are different levels of this illness but we are all in the same boat ! get help if you can't help yourself. Anyway, 11 weeks sober now, feeling great but not complacent. Thanks Stu. Bat Country is a valuable part of my recovery. ❤
Delicious!! *I wasn't "that bad" either....
You, are "chilling" , or your experiences are actually, but the laid back coffee shop style is a soothing way to offer up sobering truth . ☕️ ☕️ ☕️
I sobered young and people would still try to get me to drink. Misery loves company.
I'm so glad I found your channel. I took my first step last night to AA. I am attending tonight and determined to beat this
Good luck ! I'm thinking of quitting - it's causing anxiety.
@@sallybutler1005 do it. Get to a meeting
682 days sober, if you had told me that two years ago I would have not belived you. Somehow something showed me a way out of the darkest tunnel to hell.
Being sobar is the best feeling ever, I would trade one day sobar, than a thousand heart racing anxiety fueld hangover days of dred, 😊
Hey Bat Country just getting a chance to watch and comment on your video. It was an extremely powerful one. The comparison of severity of AUD and for those on sober journeys time under belt is constantly being compared. The well I’m still able to hold a job and function can just leave you trapped in the cycle. Bottom line, no amount of alcohol is safe or healthy but for someone suffering from this disease a drop can end your life. Thank you for another eye opener. Hope you’re well.
Thanks for watching, and for the comment. I completely agree - no amount of alcohol is good for anyone, but it's especially bad for us. Get off the ride as early as possible.
I don’t have a drinking problem nor am I close with anyone who does. For some reason though, I find your channel so comfy to put on in the background as I do chores.
Mr. Bat has a good audio aesthetic. Some channels with content I am really compelled to listen, I just can't because either the voice or the quality of the audio is just so jarring
That’s very homoph0bic of you
I was made redundant today,and am absolutely gutted obviously. Normally that would be a bottle of vodka time, but I've been watching these videos daily and I've not even been tempted. Not going to ruin my 82 days of sobriety. So thank you for keeping me strong 💪
i will not drink with you today, brother.
I drink once a week, usually during weekends. But when I drink, I drink a lot and I feel terrible the next day (but that’s probably nothing compared to what you and other people watching this video have been through) Videos like these are what keep me from picking up a bottle the next day! Your videos are great and your voice is amazing for storytelling. Keep doing what you do!
Turns out the best research we have now says that’s the worst way to drink you should never have more than 1 drink per day as a female and 2 as a male or you are doing lasting damage exponentially more for every drink over that turns out people who drank heavily for a time then quit completely have worse outcomes than people who have 1-2 drinks per day every day
@@nothanks9503 Interesting! And it DOES make a lot of sense considering the impact it has on your liver when you consume huge amounts of alcohol in just a few hours… So all in all, one beer every day of the week is «better» than 7 beers in one sitting. Not that I would ever recommend any of those options on a sobriety oriented channel of course!
@@niklasroterud3095 1 beer every day for your whole life seems to be better than 7 beers in one night 1 time although we gained this data because a study was done incorrectly however that is what the correct data would suggest
@@niklasroterud3095 the problem with that 1 beer a night is if that’s your average consumption you’re probably going to have more than 1 beer some nights
@@niklasroterud3095 of course the best outcome is 0 drinks ever which was definitely shown to be better than 1-2 drinks per night the study that showed that was the case is the incorrectly done study I was referring to
This is a very good question I've been asking myself. At my worst I used to drink half a litre of gin per day and a few pints of beer, which is not a crazy amount. Never drove drunk, never came to work drunk BUT I had pretty bad withdrawals, dry heaving, vomitting, seeing the world like through a fog. And I did miss 2 trains this year because of my drinking when I was visiting my friends, so they had to wait for me. Now for the past 2 months I reduced my intake to about 8 pints of beer a week (spread over about 2 days, right now writing this post sober:-)). No more withdrawals, no need for hair of the dog but it is very hard for me to moderate because the cravings are there for more and they are strong. That's probably what makes me THAT bad. If I was 100% sure I can continue moderating like this then it wouldn't be an issue but I'm not sure.
I am an alcoholic who was able to go to work, live a sort of normal life. Like you, I had the sickness in the morning, vomiting, seeing the world through a haze. Over the years I've tried to limit my drinking, but I realized I'm not like normal people who drink. I'm different. Me hiding bottle of booze around the house is not normal. It is so obvious to me now, sober 4 years, that I had a problem. Deep down, the little voice inside me kept saying 'you need to stop, get help'. I ignored it for years. It took me to being drunk 24/7 during covid, my wife leaving, finally divorcing me to have a wake up moment and quit. AA has helped me a lot, as well as TH-cam clips. My life is so much better without the booze. I hope you find the answer.
Well, THAT escalated quickly!
these videos are both destroying and rebuilding me. 3 days here.
@@DJVolte
hope you're able to get some sleep,
sleep for me was so elusive when I drank,
took a while after stopping til my nerves calmed down enough to really sleep,
I can only tell you that _it does get better_
one day & one night
atta time..
@words4dyslexicon at 3am it'll be one week for me. Those first 3 or r days there was no sleeping. But it's getting better. I'm glad I stopped when I did. I genuinely feel great. I know it's the pink cloud phenomenon but I'm riding it for all it's worth.
I preordered your book and just received it Friday at my home located in Illinois USA. I’m an alcoholic that is doing my best to be in recovery and am excited to read it. Had my first and only case of tremens early this summer and it scared me to death and lead me down the path of finding you.
Thank you so much! I hope you enjoy it. Congratulations on your progress so far, long may it continue.
Keep it up Stu. You remind me of my good friend Justin who struggled with addiction issues most of his adult life. He was a fearsome intellect and great raconteur but his metal health always got in the way of him properly settling or supporting himself in a 'normal' way. I guess his rock and roll demeanour was what drew me to him and we were close friends for many years when he lived in London. I'd like to think you would get on with him as your demeanour is similar but he could be a curmudgeonly bugger when it came to meeting new people so perhaps not.
His drinking patterns were very similar to those you talk about in your own stories, particularly the walking and drinking bit which he he used to do with a couple of cans year ago but later bottles of vodka from the corner shop (and also drinking in bed in the dark at one point). After being arrested and hospitalised he realised the path he was on and tried to straighten out and went to numerous AA and NA meetings and was sober for the last few months of his life. Difficult family events led him to a binge though and he was found dead in his bedsit in May this year.
I still absentmindedly think about whatsapping him but then realise he's not there anymore. If you can help prevent anyone going through that with your videos then good on you.
I’m sorry for the loss of your friend. 😢 Hang in there.
I love your way with words. Us addicts are often very intelligent people as you clearly are. I made it two weeks sober (or more dry drunk) and ultimately ended up relapsing. While it hasn't been the severe type where police or doctors get involved it is still very alarming for me. I'll keep coming back to your channel.
I love the whole vibe of this video. The music,the delivery. I have realized my drinking was becoming a problem. Taking it one day at a time.
Fascinating video man, made me step back and really think.
Much love brotha 💯
I love your conclusion here! I have been working with a newcomer and she is having a lot of trouble with the "I'm not really an alcoholic" and "I was not that bad" line of thinking. It's made me so incredibly grateful for the lack of ambiguity with my own disease. There is no doubt that I am an alcoholic and for that I actually feel incredibly blessed. Awesome topic, thanks for the great video!
Thanks for watching! How are you easing that newcomer in? I imagine that takes a deft touch.
@_BatCountry Well, at this point, she's been around since the beginning of the summer, and she's in and out, in and out. She has a desire to stop drinking, and it's obvious to her that her life when she's not doing AA is unmanageable, but nothing terrible happens to her when she's drinking. She is able to keep her daily intake down to just afternoons and evenings, and she never touches liquor, so she thinks she's in control. I have suggested to her that she needs to figure out if she's an alcoholic and she will probably benefit from a very thorough first step with her sponsor. At this point she's back so I stay willing to take her to meetings and include her in fellowship but I see her reservations and expect that eventually she's going to have to go have her fill and find herself a bottom that's a bit lower than sipping wine during her morning meetings. I continuously tried to fit alcohol into my life for 9 years after I figured out I was an alcoholic. I put the bar on the floor for myself so I could walk over it and still found a way to dig under it. Some of us learn the hard way. I want so badly to save her the time and the anguish I went through, but without it, I don't see her admitting her powerlessness.
Excellent, thoughtful video - I have come back to watch it again for motivation. (By the way, I am from New Zealand originally - I hope you manage to reconcile with your connection there).
I have a lot of viewers in NZ, must be something in the water. Thanks for watching and for the support, and I hope you get this thing beaten for the long term.
Thank you for your video. A sponsee of mine turned me on to your channel. I'm 8 years sober now and fell victim to the title
of this video years back. I'm one of the few lucky enough to have lived to tell about it.
I agree wholeheartedly with your take on we have it, or we don't. I don't recognize a spectrum. That's why I take the approach of focusing on the frame of mind that the alcoholic is in before taking that deadly 1st drink that triggers the unstoppable craving. No matter how far off in life experience I can be with another alcoholic, we always seem to have that same ability to rationalize a drink or just completely block out the consequences altogether.
My bottom wasn't material losses or found in a jail cell. Mine was in the mirror, looking at a person that I could not stand to be any more. Your video helped remind this alcoholic that I am right where I need to be and where I will end up if I were to ever drink again. Thank you for your honesty and recognition of the severity of this disease.
Sincerely,
Scott O
Hey Scott! Glad to see my videos are creeping into the rooms, and I'm glad you see some value here. So interesting to me that you specifically called out the 'spectrum' - I'm with you, in fact I included that bit of language as a kind of hedging strategy and rather wish I hadn't said it at all.
You sound like a pretty good sponsor mate. Congrats on your sobriety, long may it continue!
Coming up on 6 months sober! Best of luck to everyone struggling to stay on track, love you all.
I absolutely feel into this trap. I work in a hospital and I constantly see people die of complications related to alcohol abuse. I would read their social history, see that some people had been drinking liters of vodka every day for years and think “I’m only drinking 4-6 beers a day, I’m not going to die from this.”
I was just lying to myself. I’m very fortunate that the stars aligned in my favor and I had the foresight to understand that I either faced this demon now or let things get worse and worse. I’m not stronger or more mindful than anybody else, I’m incredibly lucky that I was scared into taking action earlier.
Please please do not ignore the reality of your problem. There’s no doubt that if I had kept drinking it would have spiraled out of control. I would have reached a point where I looked back and said “why the hell didn’t I stop when it wasn’t as big of a problem?”
Thanks for this Jon. Congratulations on getting out before it got worse, I wish we all had your foresight.
This is what I have, been going for years at this point but haven't really partied or binged significantly for a long time. I think it's a defense mechanism for the habit, like if it keeps itself in line I won't do anything about it. I've been considering doing away with it for a while and have had some good stints. Don't know if I'm just not ready yet or what.
Been sober since 5 months before Covid. Love your background music. Thank you for sharing
I absolutely this channel, the 1930s music in the background is perfect 👌
I want to thankyou its been a lot of years since 2012 , i was blown up oversees but watching your videos epesicialy relateded to your videos was monbogogling. I have gone in too dts 7 times and it scared the sh,t out of me. Love you brother
stay strong brother
Great work dude.
I wouldn't sweat it too much. It's sincerely admirable to question, poke and probe ones own assumptions and prior convictions. But at the end of the day everyone is an adult, and your duty of care ends when the information leaves your lips and enters their heads. They are gonna use it and process it in their own way.
For myself I find it very hard to see myself any of the situations you describe. But I can totally empathize with that feeling of being in any situation, and no matter what's happening, if I've got a bottle of whiskey in my pocket I'm gonna feel fine. The alcohol giving me the ability to say fuck it and not care. Letting all that anxiety and responsibility fall away in a haze.
You've helped me appreciate that, that feeling of invulnerability is a dangerous headspace to be in. I'm going to avoid it in the future.
You like the Matrix right?
What's the quote...
'I can only show you the door, you're the one who is going to have to walk through it'
This is a great video. Subbed
This video hit home. I remember times when I would go to recovery meetings because someone in my life wanted me to, and I’d listen to the stories and think I’m nowhere near that bad. I’ll be fine. And I kept drinking for years, until one day my life was that bad, and by that point I was past caring and living for nothing except the next drink.
Sadly for me, I wasn’t ready to admit I was powerless for a long time. If you’re like me I can’t say anything except god bless and I hope you survive. Not everyone is so lucky.
Im a 6 bottle of wine a week when im drinking .. Please continue .. no one can make me stop but myself but the help you give is immense ...
Your tales remind me of why I realized I had to stop drinking. Thank you for what you do here friend🌠
Thanks for this video, and making such relatable, helpful content. I stumbled across you yesterday and it's crystallised so much for me. I'm also 39, living in Cornwall, and have been doing a lot of soul searching over the last few years, alternating between spending a few weeks sober, wondering when I crossed the threshold, then trying to cross back over, and spiralling into what is clearly a relapse... I realise now, that it doesn't matter when I crossed the threshold, probably at least 15 years ago, my drinking was never quite the same as everyone else's, I was regularly the "at least I'm not as bad as that guy" ... we just live in a culture that normalised that behaviour... The point is, I have crossed the threshold, the last 5 years has really spiralled out of control, but it started long before that, and just a few of your videos has made me realise there's only one way out, and no way back. Thank you.
Bat! Thought provoking content, once again! You’re truth is your truth and your vulnerability and connection with this community is going to save lives, if it hasn’t already. Never doubt that the spoken reality of your lived experience is anything less than a gift to your audience. Everyone becomes sober curious at different times, from vastly diverse backgrounds and stages of addiction. They will all need something different, and there are many options out there. Your only responsibility is to the authenticity of your own experience, if that scares someone away from sobriety, they were not
yet ready to begin their
journey💫
Hi Stuart, sorry I'm late to this video, its a compliment to you that I save watching your videos untill i can give them my full attention. Thank you for covering yhis subject, I actually went through this because of watching your videos. I was not long sober and found your channel and watched 4/5 of them over a weekend which were fairly extreme stories, the week after I began questioning myself "why am I putting myself through this, all I want is a drink, I cant be that bad, look at Bat" fortunately I hung on in there and didn't listen to those thoughts, now i can see them for what they were....my alcohol gremlin trying to mental gymnastics an excuse/reason up to have a drink, I almost feel like naming him 😂 then I can at least say "oh fuck off Barry" when I see the cold cans in a shop. Thank you for doing these videos they help more than you will know
Tell you what mate, giving your urges a name actually might be a successful strategy - I've never heard anyone try that before but a solid "FUCK OFF BARRY" every now and then might genuinely be therapeutic. I think I might try it! Thanks mate, always good to see you here and you never need to apologise.
@@_BatCountry haha, while we are on names mines Barney A, for the cycling, can't remember why I ended up with jamestheferret, that was about 15yrs ago as my eBay name that then just spread through other platforms
Damm, this opened my eyes.. thanks stu!
Wow, thanks for sharing! Im sorry for all the pain alcohol caused you. I can see better how I used to downplay my drinking.... Its a life threatening disease...
Thanks for watching, I'm glad it connected with you!
I’ve started listening to the book. You are a fantastic storyteller. I’m 2+ yrs sober. My rock bottom came after many increasingly embarrassing/serious incidents over the years. It ended in injury, blackout, shame and fear that something truly terrible had occurred. Maybe it did. For me, that was compelling enough to trigger getting sober. My rock bottom was perversely helpful in transforming my life.
That's exactly why no one has to reach rock bottom. Excellent video, thank you so much for it, I'll check the video you've mentioned and the audiobook. Cheers
Hi, I just wanted to thank you for your videos, and it is no coincidence that I found your channel recently. I can relate to most of your videos and this content gives me hope for better future. It really allows me to get through the day at this stage. Just wanted to share my story really quickly.
My first encounter with alcohol was at age 16. For next 15 years I was drinking more or less amounts of different brews/spirits (always almost alone in front of computer). The serious stage started at Covid 19 outbreak. I could probably give you ton of stories and details about those 15 years.
From what I can recall it ended for me to be forced (than God) to closed rehab. After going cold turkey i got psychosis that lasted a month, experience beginning this year, (+ this there were empty heaves/vomits, constant anxiety) this was hell on earth and I wouldn't wish that to happen to worst enemy. At worst stage it was binge drinking for like 6 months ,( at the end it hit 0.7l of vodka per day). I started to lose family, wife, kids due to my drinking and eventually was forced to go to closed rehab. Actually, I did it for the closest ones so not to lose them, it really wasn't about me that time. I think it is miracle that it doesn't end with some delirium tremens/seizure/cirrhosis.
I went to closed rehab for 30 days, then I managed to stay sober for like ~100 days. This was the best time in my "sober" life - I managed to "stand on my feet" (call it honeymoon stage). I was feeling so great that I got this false confidence that I beat that shit. Unfortunately, recently I had serious relapse, thank God I was able to stop this before it fully unleashed.
Right now it is my first week without alcohol. At the same time I feel hope and fear. Thought that I managed to stop drinking for 100 days and got away from this hell of withdrawal gives me hope that this can be done, however, I'm afraid of future, as it requires a lot of work on yourself - giving up alcohol is not enough. I also know that opening the door of scourging myself for what I have done and to others is not the proper way - it ends with depression and self hatred.
The thing now is that I believe that I can't do this alone, but on the other hand, I can't see value in A.A groups and therapies (I tried it already). People that stopped drinking, but the share the same story on each meeting, being either cocky or depressive about life, for some reason I'm not willing to surround myself with this type of environment.
I'm 32 years old. I have been drinking for half of my life...
Hello mate! Congratulations on your progress so far, and thank you for the compliments. I don't have much to add, it seems like you have good people around you. But I'd say this is not a process to fear. Be excited about it. Yeah it's difficult sometimes, but you'll very soon start reaping the rewards, and your life is undoubtedly going to be better. Onwards and upwards mate.
Thank you. Very good points I needed to hear this video. Cheers brither
Thumbs Up 👍 and shared out. If anything I think your videos are making more people aware of how extremely serious things can get. You are helping people.
i love your videos, your voice has a warmth to it and you are filled with strength and courage you inspire many
What a chilling story. Im glad you shared your story. Very true about different variations. Im sorry you had to go through that nightmare.
Thank you for this upload. I was influenced by this perspective that you highlight instead stepping back and looking at myself and the direction I was going in and the inevitable outcome. My relationship with alcohol has been damaging but in a subtle, unassuming way. Time to retreat in a subtle, unassuming but very adamant way.
Ive watched every video more than once! Great channel 😊 do you have any liver damage.
This channel is absolutely gold, so glad to have come across it! Great, informative content
Thanks so much, I'm glad it connected with you!
Three days sober here 😊
Congratulations! How are you feeling today?
I’m
Glad I found this thank you brother
I'm glad too, thanks for watching.
This is how I felt about my eating disorder but stopping was the best thing I’ve ever done in my life
6 months sober I come back and Relisten to podcasts when my addiction gets cunning
Good strategy, that's what I do too. I'm glad this stuff is connecting with you.
So subtle... . Thank you for the insight.
This is one of your best videos, thank you very much Bat Country.
Great points! There isn't a hierarchy when it comes to addiction. It's not a competition! I didn't always drink every day, but whenever I drank, I could not stop! If you reach that point, and you're doing things like hiding bottles, sneaking drinks, finishing a 6-pack before 9 AM, getting drunk alone, or making up reasons for why you "deserve" to drink, you have a problem! I've met addicts from all walks of life in AA and rehab facilities over the years. From age 16 all the way up to age 74. Poor, middle class, rich, black, white, male, female, college educated, high school dropouts, and the common denominator among these people is that they all became powerless over alcohol, just like me! I knew a guy in rehab who could be described as "not that bad" who ended up dying of liver cirrhosis at age 45! So for anyone out there who "isn't that bad" right now, then it would be a great idea to get help before things get worse! Thanks for making this video my man! 🙏
Hey there again, I look forward to every video you put out. I will gladly watch this video despite not struggling myself.
You are inspiring and great with your explanations and thoughts. This video is honest and real, thank you for sharing.
Bro, you deserve way more subscribers!
Thank you mate! We'll get there eventually.
I needed to hear this. Thank you!
You're welcome, and I hope you're doing ok today.
Great, thoughtful video!
Seriously, who can predict when that inner voice of piercing clarity chooses to declare “Ok enough of this shit”. I had so many incredibly sordid, outrageous and terrifying adventures where that voice chose to remain silent. But it appeared on a New Year’s Day after yet another pointless squabble with my wife and a tearful child who witnessed it. I wasn’t even really drunk, more like buzzed, but it was enough and the time was right and I was apparently ready for the change.
I didn't realize that I was bad enough until I decided that I wanted to stop. That's when I discovered the DTs. It was then I could see how I had gotten so bad and didn't notice.
After watching you today, I think back when I saw others with so much worse situations than my own, the lessons shouldn't have been, thank God I'm not that bad, but more like, this is precisely where I am headed. And I also realize how easily I could have died when arriving to any one of my own worsening situations while my life deteriorated. Well, I made it all the way to as bad as could be, and at death's door, by some miracle, I didn't go through. Somehow I managed to survive.
Extremely Well Said! I love your book!!!👍💞
New Zealand is a Gorgeous Place!! I hope you’ve had opportunity to go another time.😊💞
Very helpful. Many thanks
Thanks for watching!
I just put out a video about some scary stuff that happened as recently as last April. I was one of those that did think "I don't drink that much. I only got arrested for DWI." But, a shitload of time has been wasted because of my drinking career. Always happy when a new Bat Country video appears. BTW, I am about halfway through your book Stu. Very impactful and well-written. I think my only argument would be a liver destruction argument. A three glass a day wine drinker's liver is not going to suffer the same amount of damage as a handle of vodka a day drinker. Another great video, my friend.
I want to hear that audio book as well shades 😎!! Stay well friend!!
@@CraigFox-lt6lt Thank you. Stu does have a good voice. I am reading the book right now. I also gave the podcasts a listen and the audio is better.
@ShadesOClarity I wish Stu would say what exactly is his background soft jazz. I'd love to play it at home 🏡!!!
@@CraigFox-lt6lt I have some similar music. Check out Wendell Hall.
@ShadesOClarity hey thanks Shades !!! Love it!!
Great video stu!
Man this is an interesting revelation isn't it. I could find justification to keep going in nearly anything 2017/02/12. Great chat Stu, always a pleasure.
I think you do good work man keep at it
Excellent idea for a video. You are highlighting brilliantly just how manipulative the Drinking mind will be when it wants to justify more booze. But - and I hope you won’t mind me saying this - as our Grandmaster Boozer, you’re seen a few movies ahead for us. Another great video. Love how you find so many angles to help people. Keep it up, man.
My brother that is hard core. I am a drunk too. Extreme stories don’t have the impact for most people. You are certainly not doing anything wrong. Worry about yourself brother and keep plugging on. Too bad I can’t talk to you.
You are my favorite person to keep sobar, thankyou, unfortunantlty im possipply getting my gallbladder taking it out. But this is gonna take my recovery really serious at this this point. And i hope it helps others when you have too have organs takan out because of drinking.
Eccuse my treatment of this,im sorry
Good luck with it mate, I hope you get through it and come out stronger.
@@_BatCountry i want to say i know your busy but for you to reply means alot and i thank you brother it means alot. In fact when i sent you those msgs i was in dts and thats why i misspelled things. Im back in the gym and doing better and able to keep my gallbladder and doing good. Thankyou brother
You don't have to wait until they cut off your foot before treating diabetes. You don't have to wait for a heart attack to start eating better and exercising. It's weird how drinking can be so much different than those other examples. I wish I would have tried to get help before flushing years down the toilet. but I was so arrogant back then that I needed to be humbled before i was ready to learn anything. I appreciate you taking the time to make these videos. I enjoy listening to you tell your story.
Love this channel. Very calming and insightful.
thanks man!
Amazing channel ❤
Thank you!