Complex PTSD | Depression After Narcissistic Abuse - The Secret to Healing
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 30 ก.ย. 2020
- Narcissistic abuse often leads to complex ptsd. Combine depression with cptsd and the healing journey can feel overwhelming. This video explains how narcissistic abuse conditions and trains you to be depressed and/or anxious while also giving you a powerful tip on how to overcome depression as a result of childhood trauma, narcissistic and/or emotional abuse and cptsd. Complex PTSD |Depression After Narcissistic Abuse - The Secret to Healing
PLEASE REMEMBER THAT WHILE I PUT UP AS MUCH FREE INFORMATION AS POSSIBLE - IF YOU FEEL AS IF THE VIDEOS ARE NOT ENOUGH, AND YOU WOULD LIKE PERSONAL ASSITANCE ON OVERCOMING NARCISSISTIC ABUSE, COMPLEX PTSD AND/OR DEPRESSION - PLEASE CHECK OUT MY WEBSITE WHICH HAS RESOURCES THAT MAY BE JUST WHAT YOU NEED TO SHIFT FORWARD: www.micheleleenieves.com/services
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Narcissistic abuse often leads to cptsd - accompanied with depression can make the healing journey feel sooo overwhelming. Sadly toxic, malignant narcissists condition and hardwire emotions like depression into your psyche - un-conditioning yourself may seem unfair, difficult and frustrating - but it's the only way to breakthrough many of the side effects of cptsd. Make sure you watch until the end to get tips and tools that can dramatically help you to shift out of depression and into feeling states like passion, excitement, joy, hope, love... to mention a few!!!! Shedding those conditioned behaviors is a victory that deserves celebrating. Please remember that if the free tips aren't helping you to shift the way you would like - my 3 month Breakthrough Cptsd online workshop is coming up and starts in November. Here's the link from my website for you to check out and see if it's a good fit for you:
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Thank you so much. Totally clicks.
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Michele Lee Nieves Coaching So there is no discount coupon code? It has a spot when you check out that you can apply a coupon.
@@mihaicorinaelena3031 How awesome to meet people from all over the world in this community - sending positive vibes your way =)
Whenever fun was had, I knew punishment for that was coming...
Yup got yelled at for everything
💯
Man this is such absolute truth. Every time I laughed he would do a cold stare at me. It's like he was saying you know you're getting punished.
"You are not allowed to be you...."
I’m in recovery right now after getting out of a narcissistic relationship. Feeling so flat…no energy or joy, just wanting to rest and sleep. I’m not putting any pressure on myself, I know this season will pass and I will return to myself when the time is right.
Same 😔it’s a shit space to be I pray 🙏🏽 we all get through it 🥲
I’m same. Normally a really active joyful person and just left a toxic Narcissist relationship. I am trusting my body is dealing with PDSD and will recover when it’s ready. I trust the same for you ❤
I'm feeling the same way,it's so difficult to process all of what has happened to me! All I want to is rest & stop playing this ordeal over & over again
All I want to do is sleep and finding it hard to make it to work or anything else 😢
Same
The abuse of narcissists is based on the fact they treat others in the opposite way of their quality. And nothing hurts more than being a sensitive person and others treat you as if you are the most toxic person on earth.
There is an end game for them. Sooner or later people will realise who is the narc and who got brainwashed aka the flying monkeys to realise the fact that you were a victim aka the smeared, manipulated, and triangulated person.
Quality? I dont know what you mean by this. ✌🏽
@@slimshany4602 ANd that shows that you never will, because you prefer to follow the view and reality of toxic people. So don´t waste my time.
@@escherichanja8522 Thanks for the agression, you sound toxic tbh..
About my comment: I posted it in a scientific manner: what is defined by "Quality" ?
And are you familiar with the underlying psychological structure of NPD?
You must have thought i was judging your comment. Think again 😘 Best to you
@@slimshany4602 Thanks for your slander and your inability to see people as what they are, not what you prefer to see them.
It’s sick how deep it goes. All this for their (narcissists) own comfort too. Nothing else. Sick.
Yeah, so sick and horrible 😭
It truly is and doesn’t end even after they see you being destroyed
It's evil. I still battle to get my mind around it.
It is sick I'm so sorry for everyone who's experienced this I'm just glad I'm not alone in feeling that way
It is absolutely mind blowing to wake up to the fact that someone you love is actively trying to tear you down every single day. It has ripped my heart out. But I’m starting my healing journey. Little by little!
Yes…..so many things about what has happened are painful and stunning….and things we have to grieve and mourn over. But this vid is soooo spot on, and im encouraged that God is going to help me apply what she has said so that my mind and emotions will be HEALED. Best wishes to you on your journey 🙏
I’m with you
AMEN,,I STILLL TRYYINN TOI HEAL AFTTER,36 YRS OF; EX- HUSBAND
BEEING A GASLIGHTER TOO ME DAILY
Your not alone x
One day at a time ….i am also sharing your journey …this is our path …
I have a closet full of all my old hobbies and I am never motivated enough to paint, draw, or play music.
My ex was a covert narcissist. After reading more about it I learned at this was. It’s so tough. You hate yourself for accepting these behaviors and still have love for them at the same time too. It’s such a crazy mix of emotions. :(
@@estherbch it’s like they’re two different people- unfortunately the one we love isn’t real. It’s a facade hiding the emptiness isn’t it? 😢
@@KB-ih5gf no the version of them we came to love never was real. I’m trying to give myself credit for trying to show love rather than feeling a bizarre mix of emotions ranging from feeling stupid, gullible, naive, inexperienced, foolish etc. for having fallen for his trickery as I’m only responsible for my actions.
I am in the same boat! Trying to figure out how to heal.
VERRRY TRUE ANN SAD WHATE THEYE HAVE DUNN TOO US,, EXSPECIALLY AFTTER,2 STROKES..I STILLL FALLLING APARTE,,AFTER,36 YRS. OF MARRIAGE
43 yes of marriage here. He separated me from my family, turned the kids against me secretive (still don't know how), what she says is so true. The mental abuse we've endured not realizing what was going on.😢 craziness I see for sure. But it happens so subtlety. We suspect it, but don't say anything because who would believe us.
Fantastic video!!! This is exactly what happened to me!!! I was so full of life and loved everyone!!! I was such a happy energetic person before I got married!!! Now I’m just a shell, but I’m determined to come back as the person I used to be!!! He has taken years off of my life, but my Creator did NOT put me on this earth to be ordered around and mistreated by some fruitcake who has mommy issues!!!
AMEN TO THAT!!! At least we still have our shell though, right?
One day I was moving furniture (by myself) into our new garage and I was ruminating... it's horrible to do that, when you play the movie again and again of how YOU did something wrong and I was actually talking to myself out loud. And girl, the Holy Spirit spoke out of MY OWN MOUTH. It certainly wasn't me. I've been reduced to practically nothing. And the Word was,
If you do not water the seeds they will not take root and My light will dry them up and I will blow them away. Stop watering the seeds he plants.
I'm with you. I don't know you, but I am with you and Tamara McKee, I will see you on the sea of fire and glass when the smoke clears.
@@brooke5395thanks for sharing that! I really believe God wants to transform me by the renewing of my mind, and feel Micheles tips here were very very applicable!
When I run into people that I know out in public and we start talking having a good conversation and laughing. Usually on the way to the car the narcissist in my life tells me the I act fake and phony around other people. When in reality that’s just my personality around people that I don’t feel threatened by . I can be myself around others but never around him because my guard is always up around him and I have to watch what I say or he’ll accuse me of attacking him.
Cut that narcissist out of your life
Know this🤨it’s just a lie, a twisting and denying. It’s false.
Yep, mine would say the say thing too. I’d give a genuine smile and he will call me fake. It’s best to just let go of people who are not serving a purpose in your life. You’ll feel so much better.
Time to get rid of you know who
This totally hits me.. ..when having happy conversations, I was then after marked out at acting phony... ...you totally start to doubt yourself after.. specially if it happens over and over..
What about if you were bought up by narcissists it takes a life time to find out who you were meant to be
This! I didn't know I was allowed to have a personality until after I moved abroad and became independent. 3 years later and I still don't really know who I am. My first 18 years of my life were full of emotional abuse, gaslighting, lies, isolation and manipulation. It was like being raised by a cult.
Now that I'm out I am currently on my journey to find myself, set boundaries and enforce them.
I stopped calling my Narc Mother 4 months ago and I feel considerably better. Still I'm so angry about all the years of abuse I went through. As an adult it was stressful and draining but as a child, it was pure torture! My soul was murdered from inside and out.
I only know since 2 weeks that my whole life and my "personality" is nothing but a grandiose construction of my parents. Kinda nice to know that everything felt wrong, because it was wrong, but I also would like to know where to start. It's very messy and confusing and I couldn't find anything that would've been helpful so far.
50 plus years of doing just what you described.
IT FEELS SO DAMN GOOD !!
I know this sounds patronizingly simple,
NEVER GIVE UP NEVER SURRENDER
Jenny, go for it " what have you go to lose "
YOU CAN ONLY GAIN BY GOING FORWARD!!
@@DMCdantenero112 . I totally hear you on this. I'm GLAD that you noticed AND got away, etc. at a young age (it seems by your comment). I spent years wondering what in the ever living F*** was wrong with my Mom. I'm now 49 and I just managed to cut all ties with her and others. Only in the last couple years did I even finally research enough to finally KNOW she is a covert (vulnerable) narcissist. Anyway, if you are younger, and really ANY time, you can start to find yourself and find a path. If nothing else, just start trying various things (safe things, of course). I'm about to start dinking around with electronics soon. That's my next, "I don't know... maybe this is cool."
It opened my eyes but ive got sick become sensitice sorry
I spent 25 years thinking I was The problem in every situation that turned nasty...turns out I was raised by a narcissist, got PTSD at 17 (but didn't know until I reached 40 ) then ended up in a long term relationship with a woman that had massive anxiety and is definitely a Narcissist...I did my research and listened to my inner dialogue and am Extremely happy to say I've moved away from my narcissistic mother who was still doing narcissistic shit to me! I've moved to another area of the same country and separated from my children's mother. 7 months away and I feel fantastic all the time and have no contact with my ex and very little contact with my mother. I've lost a bunch of people I thought were friends but had to lose them to find ME!!!
STAY STRONG PEOPLE 🙏
LISTEN TO YOUR INNER VOICE AND NEVER ALLOW ANOTHER NARCISSISTIC TO STEAL YOUR POWER 👌✅💝
It's funny how almost any time away from one of these people is empty and depressing at first, like a void, but within days of not constantly thinking about that person's awful comments and behavior something changes physically.
I always get depressed the first day or two of not contact and then I am all better...it's so weird
I remember feeling scared of being happy infront if my covert narc mom
My case! That was very very bad
The first warning I should have heeded, (I was 20 yrs old), was when my then narc boyfriend, walked into the room when I was dancing to music on tv. He scowled at me with such disapproval as though I was doing something disgusting. He’s drained every form of joy from my life ever since. Low self esteem prevented me from leaving.
Same. 18 years later I am trying to break free
It is hideous to see the enjoyment they get when they purposefully cause you pain.
When you are raised by a narc, happiness must be hide, because that is a source for punishment....so you get used to hide joy or maybe not feel it at all, your brain forgets how to
When I separated from the narc I went on an antidepressant. I couldn't cry. It was the strangest thing. I stayed on it for 6 months. It helped me through the darkest days. I slowly weaned off of it. I cry when I want to now and I also feel what I need to feel to process the abuse. The only person I talked to about this was a therapist. I couldn't reveal anything to anyone but the therapist. It's been a long journey but I am free to find who I am. Thank you and thank God 😊
Hey I am planning to go on antidepressants will they really help me u think?
@@nadabayomi8199 Yes they will. I stayed on them until I got on top of this horrible mental abuse. They do have side effects. Make sure you are aware of them. I had to adjust the dosage at first. I stayed with my therapist for a while after I weaned myself off of them. Antidepressants and therapy helped me leave the narc. I have a beautiful life now. God bless you.
@@denises1868 god bless you thank you so much💗
I’m so sorry that you had no one else to talk to, but so glad you reached out to a therapist. Talking about my experiences has been the only way I could find a path out from the pain, fear, shock, anger, and depression. My oldest daughter witnessed & experienced a lot of it and knows it’s true. Without her being there to understand and to talk to, I hate to think about the state I’d be in. I did and still do say lots of prayers to find calmness and there’s so much peacefulness now that I am separated and divorcing the narc. Divorce (marriage 24+ years) isn’t over yet and he’s already moved on to his next victim. I am just relieved that I free now. Maybe antidepressants would be a good thing to calm my nerves and my racing brain, but I have my 1st grandbaby to take care of and a business venture with my oldest daughter that is also good medicine because it gives me a purpose and value & pushes me to get out of bed and go do things. If not, I would just want to stay home as a recluse with my dogs. This abuse has caused me to withdraw from all that made me happy, but I’m slowly chipping away at the prison wall he built around me.
I can so relate to the Ptsd. My covert narcissistic mother died this past March and I feel so relieved but still get very depressed
Exercise with epic music, sing and praise, karaoke of the heart, tell a story to a friend, to a child, tell a joke and just say I'm having a super dooper uber day, the best yet, no stopping it, just keeps on forever, coping with being the happiest little blessed light alive, will never get enough of it, no cure for the pure, no rest for the blessed!
whew...absolutely perfect timing!! thank you Michele.
It's really sad that this is one of the most if not the only absolutely consistent behavior of narcissists.
Thanks Michele....This is all true.
I found that every time I became happy, the narcissist would do something negative in some way or form. This would create an internal disharmony in anything I enjoyed, so I would find my self sad and feeling low when I would try to relax with things I like to do. I started to associate the negativity with things I like to do, such as reading, writing, and so on.
My body started working against me and would not allow me to get excited or happy. I forgot what joy and happiness felt like.
When one gets stuck in the fight or flight response with a toxic person or narcissist, the body works to protect a person from harm. So listen to your body. I failed to do so for a long time and found myself dealing with full blown CPTSD and migraines for many years.
When with a narcissist, listen to your body; ultimately choose to break away from such a dangerous person, took me years to wake up...I’m free now. Trust what Michele states herein. She is absolutely right.
I bought 4 little neon colored (blue, green, pink and orange) furry Luv nears and a bright yellow smile face that I keep in my car. I let the kid inside me out, and at times I eat with them; causes others to laugh, which makes me laugh....Comedy and laughter heals (creates natural Dopamine).😁👍🏾
Let the kid out inside of you intentionally. It works.
Yes, we need to do silly, fun things like this. It’s great to laugh and get those endorphins released so we feel better
Actually I took Effexor and it made a tremendous difference. And after I went off of it the good vibes continued for years until I got involved with another narc.
I now live happily alone with 2 cats, with a family of choice and lots of sweet friends and colleagues.
I am divorcing the narc. I have not spoken with him for 2 years since I kicked him out of my home. Luckily he still had his own home. My thoughts are finally kind and my own once again.
It's so soothing in itself to watch this video. The validation I'm getting from you feels like medicine. The fact that someone is validating what happened to me is so healing. Thanks so much.. I feel like I'm being shaken. I've suffered so much because of being so open n over giving to everyone without filter.. Because the world is full of narcissists n psychopaths. Seems like everybody has hurt me. The world is a dangerous place for ssensitive n giving people.
I agree, it’s nice to watch a video like this simply for the validation alone 😌
100%
Oh my god you said this so well. I m a very open sensitive person and I do feel as if this world is not the place for us. Not save 😢
It’s sickening
I agree. Validation has been the best medicine. Just knowing others understand what we have been through & just how horrible it was. It’s very hard to understand it all on our own in our mind because it’s so difficult
When dealing with narcissism, you should know that it’s not personal. “It isn’t personal” is one of those cliches used to cushion all kinds of bad actions taken by people who need an out for being immoral, but in this case it actually gets near the truth. Narcissists don’t know how to love or be a friend; they can’t afford to spare the energy to learn, because they’re always in a state of high emergency, cataloging potential threats and redoubling their defenses. When they claim to love you, it means nothing. They may even think they mean it, but they don’t understand the concept - they can’t feel it. They never attach to you or anyone else. Other people are paper cut-outs to the narcissist, like those cardboard figures of celebrities you pose next to for a selfie. Narcissist value their own children only as mirrors of themselves. When they destabilize you or attack you, it means nothing. They are stuck in an endless conversation with themselves, in which you are an inanimate object, to be assigned their own faults and used as a surrogate punching bag for their hatred of themselves. When they toss you out, it’s no more meaningful than a junkie tossing away a needle; when they try to reel you back in, it only means that they tired of the new drug and need a hit of the old. None of this is personal. They’re too terrified to have personal relationships, opting instead for extraction of admiration from a subservient partner whose range of action they strictly constrain. This is not personal. None of it. The narcissist does not know who you are - it doesn’t know how to know other people. Like the vampire or the chainsaw-wielding creature in the horror film, it’s from another world, bereft of the concept of human connection. Moreover, People wonder why they end up hurt, seriously hurt, and even killed for their own actions. Cheating is a choice and there’s simply a lot of ignorance in the process.... Thank you so much for helping me out Metaspyhub@gmail. com. Your advice and services helped me so much. You are a lifesaver !!! The information you gave me about my cheating partner when you gave me access to his phone was everything I needed to get,.. thank you very much..
It is like your life force was sucked out of your inner being! It is the hardest thing in the world to work through the aftermath of this abuse and to get your soul back.
He drained me of any laughter.
He drained me of life. I feel only void after he left for another woman. When I loved him exactly way he was.
Prior to my relationship with who I believe was a covert narcissist I was a very bubbly morning person. It was always important to me to be a positive riser, even by using positive mantras. I would greet people and enjoy my mornings. After I moved in with him he would ignore me mornings and not engage at all. Put his back to me. No eye contact. Grunt answers, or completely ignore me. Eventually I mirrored him and stopped being positive when I awoke and really minimised who I was from early rises.
This video is the first time I realised this happened.
I have now instantly reconnected to who I was before my 1.5 year narc relationship and my positive early rises will start again tomorrow to help me rebuild who I was before the abuse.
This is one of many things I will journal about tomorrow to remember who I was before my 1.5 year narc relationship. Such a simple thing and you don’t know how much I appreciate this video which has helped me recall one simple thing about myself on the path to healing. Thank you, thank you, thank you 🙏
A good quality magnesium supplement helps to find strength when you have become a shell. Also a natural calcium supplement. A small amount of natural iodine helps intelligence. Start exercising. A bit of Yoga. Prayer. Quit sugar for the most part. Intermittent fasting. Being in nature and faith have helped along with these videos ☺️
Medication helped me when I was so clinically depressed that I was suicidal. It helped me get up out of the pit to neutral ground. From there I was able to get therapy and work on stuff.
Eventually I wanted to get off medication but it was difficult because I had no support. My doctor believed I should be on meds indefinitely.
I went to a naturopath and over a long time weaned of meds and started vitamins and then eventually I didn’t even need those. It took years!!!
Most important thing in my recovery has been my faith in Jesus. God has led me along the path of healing before I ever heard of narcissism.
It’s been super interesting to learn about narcissistic abuse and I really appreciate your videos
I went through this for years with a parent. They get angry when you seem happy. It literally trains you to be melancholy and morose. You get emotionally " punished" by these people if you seem happy.. I was then diagnosed with actual depression and took medication for 17 years. After I went no contact with the narcissist, the depression began to lift. I have been off all meds for 12 years now. These people are dangerous, sadistic individuals. They will convince you that you have a medical condition so they can keep abusing you. Anyone hear of Gypsy Rose ?
I was raised by a narcissistic father and co narcissistic mother. I never knew who I was or what I was feeling-it is crippling. I have had a failed marriage to a narcissist and almost every guy I have dated is a narcissist. I have been working on a relationship with myself for 3 years and it is radically changing my life. There is hope!! Videos like this are great! Thank you! XO
Once again, you hit the nail on the head with how narcissists systematically replace your feelings of joy with dread. Also, even when trying to express feelings of sadness or anxiety to a narcissist parent, those feelings are denied as well... a child saying they are afraid or sad is met with ridicule, dismissed, or an enraged "HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL!!!". Not only are happy feelings replaced with dread, but any sad emotion is not allowed, further disconnecting us from feeling our own normal range of emotions. The result is dissociation, and suicidal depression. Thank you again for being such a good therapist!
PS. I was put on heavy medication for generalized anxiety and depression that was prescribed off-label, and was meant for bi-polar disorder. At first it seemed like I was high, which actually felt great compared to being so depressed, but what eventually happened was that it CAUSED a manic episode, something I never had before. I found out this is called Bipolar lll. My doctor concluded that she was right, that I had bipolar all along. I was furious, I went off all meds, and although I have been very depressed because of so much narc abuse, I have not ever had another manic episode in the 4 years since. Now I deal with depression head on. It's not easy, but at least I'm facing my real feelings instead of being hopped up on a fake sense of well-being. I caution anyone to be very careful of misdiagnoses and over-medication. This is not to say don't get help and never take meds, they can save your life in certain cases.
try an Indian herb called Ashwagandha..it is available online..it is safe,helps definitely fight depression, cures fatigue,soothes your adrenals,gives good sleep and has no side effects...u can do a lot of research yourself and take advice from an ayurvedic doctor before u start..
@@padmapriyanandyala9818 Thank you so much, I will try it
Yep. Tried to tell my parents I felt suicidal as a child. They told me to shut up, and they didn't want to hear me say that again.
@@kaitlincox9714 I'm so sorry that happened to you. It's completely not normal for a child to feel suicidal, it almost always has to do with the parents in the first place, so they are not the ones who can help you anyway, but not having anyone else to turn to when you are being emotionally abused and neglected is the worst kind of pain. I hope you were able to get away and get the support and love you deserve!
My parents made me mentally ill and then washed their hands and ordered I be sectioned 😢
I refused to accept that. The staff told me to get out and freed me
My mother laughed and called me a lunatic
Sick
This brings so many memories of how I was struggling as a child, young adult and now an older adult, many many times have I been excited about something and wanting to share that with my narc mother and all I ever heard was "You'd be making the biggest mistake of your life!" or "What do you want to do that for??!!". It got to the point where I wouldn't share anything with her because I knew she would "knock it down". When my husband and I got engaged, my parents were the last people we told, I had that empty nervous feeling of how she was going to react about our wonderful news, I literally had to justify my decision about being engaged and getting married. My stomach was in turmoil and no, she did not congratulate us. Today, my 88 year old narc mother with dementia isn't as mean as she used to be, but I am a hollow shell when I am around her and still don't share to much with her. I completely agree about the feelings of your subconscious mind over your body, I do have thoughts deep down on activities that I want to pursue and when the time comes that my narc mother leaves this earth, I will be able to enjoy these activities and learn about who I really am.
Pray that you start enjoying your life now ... Don't know how long she'll hang on since she blanks out ... shalom 3x ♥️🤗🥰
I am visiting my narcissistic mother for a week. It helps to hear that someone else has the same experience. My mother never stops talking. I don't want to say anything, because everything I say is misconstrued. Everything I do is not good enough. I have come along way to being able to handle it. These videos have made me aware of what I am going through and to be able todeal with it better. Originally, I thought it was bipolar. Then I had a girlfriend that was a borderline which lead me to studying narcissism and realized all the symptoms fit my mother. Right now I am in a bit of confusion being around her. They make you question if your thoughts are accurate. Good thing it is only for a week and I can get my sanity back.
Hi Michele. I think this is a super important topic for us who have been through narc abuse. For me it was being raised by a mother with very strong narcissistic qualities. I have already made big breakthroughs in my journey to healing. I’ve noticed that now when something bothers me, instead of lashing out, I I state my thoughts honestly and in a calm voice. It’s taken me a long time to get to that. The depression is still a struggle though. Some days I’m so depressed and fatigued that it’s very hard to connect to myself. I’m full of self doubt when this happens. I’m not in the flow of my authentic energy. To me it seems like a child part of me hasn’t been healed yet. Thank you for this video.
Imagine you walking outside, countryside, you come across a little pond , you walk around it there is a huge tree and right under it sits a little boy, a child you used to be, now is up to you. ☺ Talk to him.
Paul, I have seen your comments on various video I watch too! We seem to go through the same struggles and it’s really comforting to see you’re not alone. Although I’m sad to see you’ve suffered to, I feel relieved to have someone to relate to. Your comments sound a lot like my experience. Message me if you ever need a friend! We need more support with those we can relate to! Wishing you the best.
S
Yes! I don't feel like there was a before when you've been raised in this kind of abuse since birth! It's a whole different level of healing. ❤️🩹
I’ve been diagnosed with PTSD and use medical marijuana. It has helped tremendously before that I was on medication and gained over 67 pounds. Thank you for your videos in the near future I hope to do the workshop.
I grew up with narcissistic parents, married a narcissist psychopath for 28 years. Never felt loved.
hahaha
I used to wake up every day and stretch up to the sky and say "GOOD MORNING!!!!!" all by myself. Alone. Just talking to the air.
I can't remember the last time I did that. I need to do that again.
I’m doing the happy dance almost everyday and i also noticed the difference, but when the reality kicks in i would still get sad waking up the next day. All other things I could do to remain happy was to understand that I was dealing with a heartless person, that I gave all of my heart to someone who wouldn’t appreciate it. It’s painful to realize that I was allowing myself to be treated so poorly for gaining nothing. I was believing myself that this person is actually a good person. That’s also a lie that I made up to make myself feel better. I felt like not only i was lied but i needed to lie to myself to feel better.
Once you realized that this person is not going to change no matter what you do, and that you were never the problem in this relationship, but you still wake up feeling sad and guilty, just believe that a person who loves you would not treat and discard you like that. Do not allow yourself to be treated awfully by someone who doesn’t even realize they have hurt you.
You should trick the mind by being stronger than what you feel inside. Go no contact know that that relationship you had was nothing but a complete BS. Being nice and forgiving to someone is different than sacrificing yourself to someone.
And if you are a believer ask God for forgiveness. Ask him to break the soul ties between you and them. This is why we should never trust anybody fully, all you get is disappointment. ONLY TRUST THE LORD.
Once you are freed and separated you may still feel lonely but this is a very good time to reach out people that actually love you.
You deserve so much better.
Amen.
That's exactly what I did too. I belived deep down he's good. That's why I stayed for do long. Untill he exchanged me.
I literally and figuratively walked through a lot of pain. No meds. While going to talk therapy frequent walks outside with coffee and wire to ear listening videos such as this one.
This process is gradual, we do not feel all of our pain in a day or a week by the grace of God.
Good videos, Michelle.
Yes, please more videos on getting through this depression in alternative ways! You are onto something!! And I find it disheartening and frustrating that people think you are naive, dumb or easily duped like how could you fall for that guy/gal and why did you stay so long, put up with so much.....I am so incredibly grateful for people like you that can summarize what happens and how easily it happens.....and help us put our lives back together. You are truly a blessing in my life.
I’m suffering from depression had to get on meds these people are sick I’ve cut off “friends n family” all toxic narcs are gone. But the pain is still there the suffering I’ve endured in my life hopefully can help others one day. The journey is long and hard but each day I know I survived a gang of demons in human form. Absolutely disgusting individuals
Thank you for the thought of provoking my body out of this depression that my narc wife is putting me in.
Thats the reason why i dont like to talk to anyone!!!! People really do wanna comunicate with me frankly speaking but never give anyone a chance i see people as wicked and toxic for real ...... I love alone . ....... I love people with all my heart but i dont like to talk to anyone becauae of the trauma that i have been experiencing etc........
She said I have become jealous and paranoid, I started to be stressed I was trying to be good but she was changing and I felt it and the more I tried to figure out what was wrong she blames me and fights me...
But see this has only been happening 1 month. She downloaded a new game on her phone and suddenly boom our 2 years are over just like that I'm so blown away
You described my family growing up to a T. Nobody was allowed to have feelings, be happy, make plans or anything.
Yes, body and mind are equal. Where your thoughts go, energy flow!!!
Suffered 6 years by a covert narcissist women in so called relationship. Tired of those insults, abuse and controlled. Finally came out months ago. Luckily with my empath psychologist, who helped me overcome depression and PTSD. Now m happy with her.
I’m going to wake up tomorrow and sing praise songs with my kids as we get ready to go to church. Something I haven’t done in a loooong time. But this video has inspired me 🙏
Thank you!! This gives me a little hope. I'm so depressed
Go do the things that bring you joy while removing the people and situations that bring you down. It's a sure recipe for inner peace ✌️
The wall I was standing in front finally has a name! My stomach dropped at the "you're not allowed to be you" part, he literally said to my face "I'll raise you into a better person" in his eyes I was deeply flawed and needed to be changed and thanks to the wise asses around me, who kept my parents' brainwashing going (bullying = love) I didn't run when I should have and stayed until I had completely lost myself.
I'm 4 days out of my relationship with a narcissistic after a year and a half...and physical abuse as well.
I'm going to start waking up and moving and trying this. Thank you for posting. Searching for hope and help to move on and get back to me.
Appreciate you
I left on June 13 and def feel "depressed " and feel like an empty shell sometimes.
I am walking every morning for an hour, the mornings I don't I really feel the "trauma" more often.
I am doing better daily, the only part that still has me bothered is my lack of sleep and focus.
I'm praying you find yourself again. We will get through this ❤
Hello Michele you know when you have been with a stupid person you need all the help that you can get because nobody should have to be mistreated by anyone , however continue to help people as you do and you always do a great job at it and keep staying safe you and the family.😊😊😊😊😊😊.
I’m still suffering 4 years out after 17 of narcissist abuse. I need to do something as I’m becoming more ill than before. Divorce, child court orders, lies, it’s tough. I hope your videos help me x
I hope you're going alright, feel for you, it's hard but please don't give up
Pray! Develop your prayer life! Talk to God! I’ve been there!!!👍👑🙏
Best thing is don't engage to any texts, don't allow info they can use or twist.
I'm in and out of court and just won extra time with my child, always ask for more and act like you are pissed off that you didn't get what you wanted.
Keep everything factual and have txt evidence of every handover, txt at the exact time your leaving your house to pick the kids up.
Narcissists zone in target 1 person, it's their obsession, it's their life, make them bored.
Nearly 11 years and 2 newborns. I used to love to workout, associate with friends, read up on self improvement, medicine, diet, culture and such. She slowly picked fights and got negative everytime i was engaging in my positive pursuits. Anytime i had good news she'd turn it negative. Sooner or later i associated most people and pursuits with negativity, it drained my energy. It made me miserable, it kept me at odds with everyone, it cost me a lot. Once i started to wakeup in the worst parts of my depression and assert myself she completely shut off from me and pushed for divorce. After two years of her persisting, i gave it to her. I have a long road ahead of me, im working out, cooking healthy food, and trying to be better each day, its not easy, but its doable.
Thanks SO much for being a light in a world that can be so dark and cold. ALL of your videos are so enlightening and your voice is soft and soothing. I've followed you for a long time and I'm both inspired and amazed by your journey. You are a godsend 😊
It would be great to have more information about how the subconscious mind can impact healing from cptsd. I've had to cut contact with so many toxic people and I'm quite lonely. This is the hardest job for me not to get depressed.
Also, one must seek God
My mother, who raised me alone, has NPD and borderline personality disorder(BPD). I’m an only child and therefore the only punching bag. I was depressed all throughout my childhood. Yeah.. I can relate to this video. What this lady says is spot on accurate to what it’s like. I’ve been lost and depressed lately because I’ve realized that I have to cut my mother permanently out of my life.
I am appreciative that this video was made because I’ve been wondering how to move past these subconscious body-held feelings and finally become happy like the young child I originally was before my parents got divorced.
Emotional intelligence is very key to life
This really resonates. The legal/court system really needs an education to identify this and how huge of an issue this is causing society.
Thank you! Why didn’t know of this 30 years ago
Thanks btw. You have helped me over the last few years realise what ive been through. I researched other aspects of life and narc abuse ties into it... thanks again
Daniel.
Leicester.
England.
So happy that I help in a small way on your healing journey!! Sending positive vibes your way!!!
@@FromSurvivingToThriving and to you too. Your worldwide 😀❤
Thank you. This video spoke to me. Healing is so difficult after you’ve been rewired by narcissistic abuse. I keep asking “WHY” as well, it’s almost become an obsession because I want to figure it out so badly and just fix it. Depression has a way of making us feel stuck. Especially when you’re suffering from CPTSD after narc abuse. This video gives me hope. Thank you.
999-trillion oceans of despair and grief.
Rage rapes me.
I feel suicidal.
I don't breathe.
PTSD flashbacks torture and torment me.
I am submerged in frozen darkness.
My soul silently wails.
I am filled with anguish and terror.
I can only pray to die.
I don't know what else to pray for.
All I feel is misery and desperation.
Grief eats my soul.
I cannot, do not breathe.
He left me.
Discarded me like last week's garbage.
The despair is truly unbearable.
SO AS A REMINDER TO MYSELF,
I MUST REMEMEBER:
I have no trouble hearing my inner voice anymore.
It works, and I never make a decision that goes against my intuition.
I consider my intuition the divine voice within me.
It's all-knowing. When I listen to it, it never fails me.
Place all focus on the internal world.
Pay attention to the sensations.
Begin to ask questions.
What are you?
What do you represent?
Why are you here now?
If I were to tell the absolute truth in this situation
and I wasn't afraid to, what would it be?
What do you want me to know?
What do you want me to do?
Listen to the answers.
Engage with the answers intuitively.
Take the process where you feel it needs to go.
Have a conversation with yourself.
Practice connecting with your heart.
Express yourself!
That's so true that they condition us to be depressed... it's infuriating to hear it laid out like this. we deserve to have our own lives our own energy our own joy
Thank you so much for this description of a narc abuse. I’m 2 months out of the relationship and this is exactly what I’m experiencing. I’m going to use this tactic.. attach to all my happiness. Thank you again ❤
That’s crazy I was doing the tips u just gave me the other day without ever knowing that it was a apart of my healing until I came across this video. To any else on they’re healing journey good luck!!
Interesting information Michele! depression is an interesting feeling, my remedy?.....LIVE, don't wallow, you hit the nail on it's head! the body does seem to "hold on chemical producing depression" depression seems to LOVE hunkering-down in our body and spirit/soul matter. It is a state of mind, when love is involved...wow! makes it harder to get rid of!...is there a short-cut, is love/depression intertwined so tightly, you can't lose one with out the other? suppose the injured person is not ready to STOP loving their abuser but wish the depression would go away?...I think you should do a part 2 on this one...it's really helpful and thought provoking and should be explored further, Thanks!
This is so right on! I’ve have never heard it out so well.
In my experience, medication is good to stop the extreme highs and lows. It serves as a stabilizer. It’s not necessary for everyone but for people like myself who manage mood dysregulation disorder and major depression with anxiety- medication is a literal life saver.
As a patient and therapist- I also know you cannot depend on medication alone. Lifestyle changes are a must! This includes but is not limited to: diet, exercise, healthy boundaries, positive social engagement, developing self compassion so you speak to and respond to yourself with love. I will also recommend practicing forgiveness and gratitude.
These changes would almost be impossible for some people without the use of meditation. However- once you get a handle on executing these changes- over time you may be able to come off of the meditation under a doctor’s supervision.
I was always very against taking medication but I got to the point where I would try anything and found Effexor took the edge off. Allows me to function as I am full time employed and a single parent. It isn't a replacement for therapy but is a good bandaid while I heal.
Use with caution - stopping Effexor is extremely harsh, even if only taking it for a short period of time.
Thank you so much, Michelle! This video really helped me. Looking forward to more.
Again an amazing video!! thank you so much!!
Truly inspiring! Thank you, I really needed to hear this tonight
Impressive, and so True. Thanks Michele.
Right on target in this video. Thanks Michele.
Amazing info!! 💖💖💖
Thank You! Michele
Amazing - thank you Michele, what a great help🧚♥️♥️♥️
I'm obliterated this hurts so much .I knew I was going to be discarded,I felt so worn out and I told her I cant deal with the way she was changing I know she has found someone else. It's only been a few days ,I have my best friends wedding I'm the best man I feel so overwhelmed... I knew this was coming I must remain strong please help me
I hope you got through it and you’re doing well now, man. I’m just a couple months out from the final discard. Already had cancer and a bunch of mental health issues and then the one person I thought I could trust just switched and destroyed me.
@@melw3313 I've seen better days but all is well . Breakfast coffee shower and life goes on .these videos are very helpful when moving on sometimes
@@melw3313 it gets easier after a while I still have all kinds of memories sometimes but I'm very stress free these days learning to do things alone without missing them is a challenge .I'm still learning to do nice things for myself . 1 day at a time
@@melw3313 enjoy the peace ,right after a break up it could feel totally devastating with all kinds of destructive thoughts and rage and anger jealousy just ignore them and call someone else go outside enjoy the peace dont stay alone in the house .hope their will be a new happiness for you , and everyone else out here. It feels extremely lonely after a break up. But you will be comforted stay strong!!! ♡
@@melw3313 your welcome sister, thank you also
I literally needed this so much. Thank you
I appreciate your genuine approach to discussing these topics.
Thank you so much for sharing your knowledge
Perfect timing
Can’t love these tips enough! What a blessing! Thank you!
Great video Michelle, you are an angel!
Thank you for the video. This is great information.
This is one of the best videos about narc abuse. Thank you!
Thank you kindly Michele. Every video you make is so important to everyone dealing with this! Keep up the great work!
Thank you for taking time to reach out Michele. Little by little all the confusion has come together and that alone brings a little peace. Keeping my eyes on leaving this abusive family situation of mine, have a great day!
This is exactly what I am experiencing! Thank you!
Yes! The body/mind connect is SO fascinating! Please do videos like that.
How true! This was truly helpful. Thank you.
Thank you for explaining this. Makes sense to me now. 🙏🏼
This video is a Godsend ❤️🙏🏻 Timely too! Thank you so much!!!
Hi Michele! Thank you very much for another great video! I would like to see next video you mentioned regarding neural pathways. Thanks a lot! ♥️
Great idea. I’m going to wake up and dance, then get ready for the day.
Double like....
Possibly the most profound answer I've been seeking in all these years going through PTSD....... Wow ....
Please post more on this subject Michelle 🤗
Thank you so much for this. This is exactly what I'm going through right now and it was so helpful to hear someone talk about it.
This makes SO much sense! Thank you 🙏🏼 I’ve been struggling with making the physical & emotional connection 😐 and this is so on point for me 👍🏼♥️ appreciate your videos and your knowledge. Thx 😊