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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 28 ส.ค. 2024
- A lot of avoidant attachers don’t have the language or the capacity to express why they are breaking up with someone due to their fear of intimacy and commitment #avoidantattachment #anxiousattachment #insecureattachmentstyle
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Disclaimer: This is NOT a sponsored video. All opinions expressed are wholly my own.
Sick ppl who refuse to get help. It’s ok to be sick, not ok to stay in that condition & continue to hurt yourself & others.
God bless 💎
Victim addiction is their core problem.
Just little covert narcs.
Block and ignore.
😂😂
@queenj.8i895 totally agree
@@neen9438 yep
Absolutely agree with Ur opinion 😒
Ah the one about work is a classic.
Their projections are monumental!
That was my ex, he didn't communicated any issues during 7 months but one weekend he arrived and said he is not ready for a relationship😔 ffs. No worries I'm healing and now I totally understand why my sweet ass attracted this individual - I am anxious attacher with cptsd. God help me on my journey to heal my issues and never ever attract anyone like this again 🙏
Same 5 months
@@Amccm4qu Same here! 12 months, not one single argument, then suddenly ghosts, without one word!
I’m not relationship material (after 3 months of doing all the relationship things)
You deserve someone who will give their whole heart to you
I can’t be how you want and definitely deserve
Urghhhhhh
Mine said that after 9 months 😂
@@ralucamera6574 'i can't meet your needs' is another one. i just wanted to hear 'i love you' once in a while and to feel appreciated and for her to reciprocate a little. sex more than once every few months would have been nice too. not much to ask/expect from the person who supposedly loves you
Yeah mine wasn't ready for a relationship despite spending weekends together, going grocery shopping and get this--he asked me stay with him for four days, then broke up with me because he "didn't feel like we were on the same page" and said his feelings had been fizzling for a few weeks when we didn't see each other...yet he wanted to see me for four days straight? How can anyone be on the same page with someone who is giving such conflicting behavior? Who asks someone to stay with them for four days if all you want is casual sex and no commitment?
“We can’t be in a relationship, because I love you so much that I can’t afford to lose you. If we are in a relationship and we got into a really big fight, then you would have a reason to break up with me and I would lose you forever. I can’t afford to lose you.”
I just got ghosted by him … even got into the worst fight we ever have been in, and I still disrespected myself and forgave him.😢
Which goes to show they don't really care about losing you. They care about you rejecting them and them feeling abandoned. But they could care less if you feel abandoned. You are only as useful as their current need for your validation. That's why they're narcissists light.
These ppl are meant to stay single
"with my eyes shut I just cannot see any common future for the two of us" and "I'm looking for the one. And you are not the one".
I'd accept any one of these excuses over stonewalling then ghosted
Oh the joys of dating in 2024 !
Are most addicts avoidants? There’s a saying an active alcoholic’s primary relationship is with alcohol, so they’re not available to have a relationship with a person
"Ok bye" is the proper answer to avoidants. And Say this before they finish their line. And no. Do not fall for hoovering, just leave them alone.
Blocked him.
He was right about everything.
But most..
I was to good for him.
😂😂😂
I got you should date other people like 5 months in..I thought it was a test…smh. 6months later, an almost pregnancy officially scared him off, 5 more months of him coming around to “hang out” Although 2 month in he pointed out a baby saying that’s what our mixed race daughter would look like. Severe avoidant..now I know. Opted out of the friendship he was trying to force on me. Also got, you can do better than me, and there’s something I need to fix, I keep hurting people, my kind heart asked, would you consider therapy, he said, therapy is a scam. Nuff said.
You did well for yourself to reject the friendship
Which I’m real love is a large part of a union
You never had that
He would’ve caused you torturous pain
I'm ashamed to say that's me. I'm trying to heal from severe child abuse, neglect and sexual trauma. I desperately want a connection with someone but can't seem to be able to 😢
Stay away from people. You'll just hurt people. Indeed you are not meant for relationships.
@@nugget6635 that is so mean and shows a lack of empathy on your end. Maybe you need to do some healing of your own
@@user-lolo14 I assure you my lack of empathy is a conscious decision so instead of gaslighting you I'll just tell the truth right away. A while ago I realised that excess empathy for people who cannot be held accountable is the actual problem. Whenever those around us are not accountable, we are the only ones accountable, we are the ones who make the choice to stay. At the end of the day we are all responsible for our own wellbeing. Because it is a certainty an avoidant will always decide to just randomly decide to destroy the relationship... I do not think they deserve any mercy, their level of trauma and suffering is irrelevant, as adults they should be able to face the consequences of their actions like everyone else.
@@user-lolo14 not at all - @nugget6635 is 100% correct. avoidant behaviour is a problem, it hurts people, even destroys them. if you had a contagious illness that could potentially kill people, would you socialise? no. so why would you get into a relationship where you know you are gong to hurt that person and potentially damage them, maybe even for life? that is just pure self centredness and selfish.
@@nugget6635 hear, hear!
So true 💔😓
Said all of these minus the hoe phase. Brutal lesson learned 😭
When they say that it is what they are doing 😂😂
So it is a plus for you.
Female ex told me ‘i need to concentrate on my health and work’ - after 4 years, by text..
Almost everything thing i heard
Bizarre how I heard quite a few of these same comments coming from the same person!! Plus, “I can’t afford to marry you” (Never said the hoe phase thing) All those comments had me convinced it was all me. What else to think when someone says they don’t love you anymore. Cried for months and months. It’s been a year and a half and I finally don’t care what he does anymore. I still love him. But I’m tired of caring. Have important life going on - like loving others.
Did he go back and get in touch?
I got "My feelings have fizzled since we haven't seen each other in three weeks" and "I'm enjoying my solitude" but "I do want to be in a relationship someday, but I'm not emotionally ready." Felt like whiplash. I even said, "You want a relationship, just not with me." I gave him the chance to agree and he said, "No, that's not it at all." Make it make sense. I'm still confused and hurt months later.
My ex told me I was not with enough men before I got with him and that he worried I was settling with him. He said this after we were almost a year together.
Probably projection. Probably he worried he was settling with you. Grass is greener on the other side, that kind of thing. He thought he needed to be with more women to see what else is out there. (HPV and the clap lol). Some guys let FOMO ruin their lives. I hope you are happy now.
2 months ago comment spot on! Plus not sexually attracted anymore he days?! Oh and he's already seeing new girl
Mine told me that, “I think you need to get on dating apps again.” I’m pretty sure he already had his next victim picked out🙄
I'm sorry. What an awful and creepy thing to say. Even if you are going to break up with someone, telling them to get back on the apps indicates they think you will move on quickly...or maybe they hope you will so they don't have to feel guilty for hurting you. I would have told them, no, I won't be getting on the apps again soon because I'm not a monster like you who can just shut their feelings on and off.
@@MadisonEstes Right after he slow faded and ghosted me, he was back on the dating app where we met🤣
He’s said and done a few of these…
I got the "I don't love you anymore. Started feeling that way 7 years ago" then he described the relationship as a frog in boiling water. When I asked him how come he didn't express these feeling much earlier he legit said "slaves don't tell their masters when they're breaking free". After all the future talk then used my illness as an excuse to not get married. But of course when I asked him to move out so I can have space to heal I was suddenly the bad guy and he cried for 2 hours in the shower and turned all the friend circle against me
That was incredibly cruel!!! I'm so sorry he treated you like that.
Wow, what a monster. I'm so sorry. I hope you find healing soon. The slaves and master comment is especially disgusting. Just shows how he views relationships as a power struggle.
This is so true, their true words🤣thank you
My ex split up with me a month before being introduced to his friends at New Year's but didn't tell me that. It was news to me!!
Literally my ex
😂😂😂😂
“ YOU just don’t do it for me”, YOU Live too far away for me” I don’t like YOUR dog, maybe you should put her to sleep” YOUR garage is too cluttered””YOU just don’t show enough respect to my efforts” and the last one…. “ I do everything for YOU and what do YOU do for me, nothing!”😂😂😂😂
This sounds beyond avoidant and venturing into narcissist territory. Literally suggested putting down your dog???
@@brennam954Mine said that about my dog too. So cruel!
@@user-gl8wt4zp7vsickening . I wish you the best in your healing process