Making the World a Better Place in Total War: Medieval 2
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 13 ก.ย. 2024
- This was a mistake.
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Total War: Medieval 2.
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_THIRTY-TWO?!?_
27
Valefisk WHY WAS THIS COMMENT MADE 11 HOURS AGO
@@pastabad4939 channel paid members get the videos early
im gonna find you and kiss you on the forehead
26+6
"why are they leaving their cities with no defenders?!"
4 minutes later, some Milanese guys on a pub crawl take your capital.
Nah, Ramsey Bolton and his 20 good men rolled up
i was gonna like this comment but it's at 420 sooo
*Goes on crusade, doesn't mass buy crusader mercenaries*
*A SHAMEFUL DISPLAY*
I'm ashamed to admit that his lack of Crusader Knights triggered me.
Sgtsmith you mean SHAMEFUR DISPRAY
Shamefur Disprayy
Why let a lack of crusaders get in the way of a good crusade?
Very realistic Venice campaign. Diverting an army of crusaders to take a city for gold
ahahah, i love valefisk's community
Beat me to it lol
Historical
Accuracy
I suppose
Nice profile pic
Insults egypt for not leaving enough men at their capital, then procedes to leave not enough men at his capital
To be fair, he had like eight times more men in venice lol
@@BiFurDoggy A general unit is worth way more than 4 spear militia.
@@rance2799 Italian Spear militia is better than the normal ones.
It’s Venice. Their faith in god is more than enough
07:52 Vale as Venice-"This army is supposed to be crusading, but instead it's here taking the city because the council of nobles demanded it"
Me- Gets 4th crusade flashbacks
Also, with that mention of how quickly i binged game of thrones you can probably guess why i haven't uploaded in two weeks...
that's one problem with doing TH-cam as a hobby - sometimes you'd rather be doing something else :p
one does not simply binge game of thrones
Spoiler: Vader is Luke's Father
Take some Crusader Mercenaries, they are super cheap and do the job!
Well, doing something else is entirely fine i'd say, but a bit of a warning wouldn't have hurt :P
Jon will marry Sansa.
Total War series of games were all made by Creative Assembly
You know what other game they made too?
Alien: Isolation
Thus, by following this flawless logic, you have to play it again.
I agree
(funnily enough I've never played a Total War game ever. Time to get crucified for my sins?)
@@user-kt3qs9ki8p Or you can repent by playing a total war game, I'd recommend Shogun 2 Total War if you don't like Medieval 2 or the more recent Total War games. I think it's the best compromise of streamlining and complexity from all the TW games I've played.
It's like M2TW where the late-game doesn't consist of boring steamrolling as other clans will try to dogpile on you once they realize you're the one to beat in the Realm Divide phase.
As for M2TW it has the timurids (0 upkeep reeee) and the mongols
Edit: forgot about the M2 late game events
@@qwertyzxcvbn6929 yeah, I've heard many good things about Shogun 2, hell, my dad loved it, played the heck out of it, I only tried but for stupid young me the game was a bit too much XD)
134 likes? Tis is good...BUT NOT ENOUGH! I-errmmmm- WE NEED MORE!
*Launches crusade*
Vailfisk: Ohhh no I’m going to prison.
Me: There’s no Geneva convention.
Vailfisk: Well you know what time it is.
*Kills over 10000 peasants*
"dont leave your capital with just 32 men"
*leaves capitol with just peasants*
*Spoiler Alert* Ben Shapiro dies in Season 5
NO DADDY
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO FUCK YOU
@Anti-Federalist 1776 bitch the fuck,are you ok in the head
N[ooo
Thanks for the likes, was drunk when I made this post
“What should we do with this ci- oh. Oh no. Oh no my hand slipped.”
And that is how the entirety of Egypt was annihilated during the 1st and only Venetian Crusade lead by our great, benevolent and completely non-psychopathic, not-war-criminal supreme dictat- I mean fairly elected chancellor: Valefisk.
"Sorry, what's Aleppo?" Jeez, I didn't know Valefisk was running for the presidency as a libertarian.
Tom Julstrom Gary Johnson was a god.
>not playing on huge unit scale
7:30 - when it's time for 4th crusade, but Constantinople is too far
15:32 "What's Aleppo?"
Oh, Valefisk, you regular Gary Johnson...
Npc youtuber.
"I better take this town before attacking the capital"
"Oh no men are deserting because I take too long!"
"OH whatever, let's rush and hope for a miracle!"
"32???"
Authentic crusade experience 😂
General Vlad defends Zagreb with hardbass and vodka, what can be go wrong....
F.
General Vlad.
Ah yes. Never trust the milanese
Milan's AI has one instruction: annoy the player
Try to fight milan to get rid of them? the pope will intervene every time they're down to their last territory.
Try to ally milan so maybe they stop being annoying? they'll backstab you at the worst possible moment.
Try to bribe them so they leave you alone? they don't care and will keep being a pain in the ass.
fuck milan.
@@qwertyzxcvbn6929 They're a pest in legitimately every game that features them, including EUIV.
EUIV Milan is lovely
@@qwertyzxcvbn6929 Step 1: Fight Milan
Step 2: Kill Milan and get excommunicated
Step 3: Assassinate the pope
Step 4: ??????
Step 5: Profit
@@Ratzo123ify Why wouldn't you be constantly trying to assassinate the pope anyway?
That's what you get for joining in the crusades, instead of actually making a profit by ferrying the poor sods that did irl, just like Venice would have!
The only war crime in this video is not playing on huge unit scale.
Ah Milan. Always declaring war when your doing something else
Its why there always my first target as the HRE
Vale, if you are in the town square your units will never break no matter what. If all you have is militia you sit in the town square and fight to the last man, works every time.
"Why would Egypt leave their capital undefended?"
*Proceeds to do the same*
Never trust Milan mate
15:30 That "What is Aleppo" joke is perfection. Now I have to clean tea off my keyboard. Well done.
ISP doing a rome 2 video, vale making a medieval 2 video, i think we are soon going to reach perfection
Valefisk: besieges Zagreb, a city *WITH NO WALLS*
You lost twenty good men in the siege of Zagreb.
They probably died from alcohol poisoning :-)
This game has the coolest ending. The monk finished writing everything you did in the campaign into the history books then, puts it on the book shelf.
you have to play all of the Medieval 2 dlcs, since they are all memes in their own right
15:33 “sorry what’s Aleppo”
If that was intentional then you are fucking amazing
Sees Auto Mangament and Recruitment on in cities. *physical and emotional pain is real*
When you tried to surround the Milanese forces attacking Venice, I wanted you to win. Because then I could say "Coming down they turned the tide!"
I'm not sure if "Sorry, what's Aleppo?" was meant to be a reference to Gary Johnson but I appreciate it nonetheless
"Were going to make the world a better place, One dead peasant at a time"-Valefisk 2019
One thing leads to another and some harmless _Deus Vult_ escalates into cheeky
*EXTERMINATUS*
*knocks down door*
Did someone mentioned exterminatus?!?
*"NO CAPITULATION, ANNIHILATION"*
The Red Wedding was about the Communists taking over the Iron Throne, totally.
I’ve never watched the show, honestly.
I swear, from afar those archers look like they're dabbing in their photos
Gary Johnson Whats Aleppo just threw me back to 2016 hard.
“When we’re going, we won’t need War Laws”
Daddy please come back
12:03 “I’m guessing they got a bigger army somewhere”, you overestimate the capacity of the ai to defend itself
“They’re a bunch of Croatians wearing long fur coats, funny hats and have very large axes.”
-Vale 2019
I'd totally watch a full play through of any of the strategy games you play.
so happy this is out, I've spent way too many hundreds of hours in this game
0:08 Thanks for letting me know your name is Valefisk, I didn't know at all.
Definitely need a part 2 to whenever this concludes. Make this a series!
15:32
As also said in the great words of Gary Johnson: "What's Aleppo?"
You can tell how big the army is by how full the banner is. We could all see that the garrison of Cairo was tiny from the beginning.
It's funny that you crusaded against Egypt in your campaign, 'cause in all of my Venice campaigns I always declined the crusade invitations in order to trade with the Egyptians, and made Venice into an economic superpower, while holding an alliance with Milan to make sure the Holy Roman Empire wouldn't attack me.
I feel so attacked by the party like its 1989 omfg
I can't help it vale, I must reveal something about GoT....
Sean Bean is in it...
I enjoyed that Gary Johnston burn
Historically Venice DID have good relations with Egypt.
>mocks egypt for not protecting their capital.
>loses his own capital in the following turns
Watching you destroy Zagreb was funny (I'm from there so). Also, it rarely snows here so it's even more funny. Recently discovered your channel but loving this!
Probably the most incredible thing about this video is the fact that you lost Venice in 34 turns. Come on Vale, you ALWAYS make sure your cities on the Italian mainland are well defend because it's, well, Italy
7:26 Sounds just like what the Venetians did in 1204... god dang it Vale you ruined the surprise
11:39 Baldwin when he conquered Jerusalem.
14:32 And Baldwin again when he did the same thing in Acre.
Who needs tanks?
When you have peasants, I mean people with who get picked to join the army.
*Rains of Castamere Intensifies*
Sorry, what's Aleppo? Who are you, Gary Johnson? Hahah
SIX DAYS OF FIRE!
Wait, wrong war with Egypt....
1 DAY OF REST!
crap, you're right wrong war.
Little hint: there are some really good got-mods for Medieval 2 ;)
Actually, you can get reinforments for your crusader army, because while an army is on a crusade, you have access to special mercenaries
the great city of Alexandria, stood for over 1000 years. Apparently only had a wooden wall. No wonder their library burned down.
That was actually a pretty sick maneuver.
You forced them to fight to the end, which isn't great, BUT BABY STEPS
Favorite memory of this game: sending one untrained assassin to kill the pope. Succeeds by gunning him down.
"This army was meant to be crusading, but instead they're attacking this city because the nobles demanded it."
Having learnt the IRL events of the First Crusade, Vale is lucky his army got that far without a distraction 😂
it was akward watching him attack Zagreb while im in Zagreb
Everyone dies and there's some family carousing
I get anxiety when I watch valefisk play some game he doesn't play at all. Cuz i literally scream at the screen telling him what to do.
R+L=J
Yes, Rey + Luke Skywalker = Jonathan Joestar
This isn't Battlestations Pacific
I almost flunked grad school because of this game. But I started a world war as Venice. Worth it.
I like how your Venice crusade was actually accurate to what Venice did in Crusades, so basically using it as an excuse to gain money and territories.
"Egypt is so dumb for defending their capital with so few men". Proceeds to march on Jerusalem with almost all of his men leaving behind hardly any to defend his capital.
hahahaha love the memes, especially the little Venetian detour to Rhodes.
He lost 50+ complaining that he was taking too long and he was indeed taking too long considering that its only 32 men
11:40 "Now what are we gonna do with this settle - OH NO my finger slipped! oh. whoops. oh no, I didn't mean to exterminate the populace, I promise! It's just definitely a miss-click. I didn't mean to do that..." ~ Boniface I & Enrico Dandolo, 1204 colourised.
action replay at 14:36
pro tip: the flags in the campaign map gives you an idea how large the armies are
pro tip #2: Milan cannot be trusted
ever
Egypt was actually well known for good relations with Venice, because Venice was the only catholic nation that would trade Ottoman and Arab goods, because the Venetians only cared about money.
Rome 2 is my shit too. DEI mod, War of God's mod, and even vanilla are the shit
I love it when John Snow declares himself the Highlander
Since you mentioned AGOT, play the AGOT mod for CK 2 and oppress all the non-valyrian untermensch
met up with a friend who knows about my recent obsession, and he told me the same thing.
it's coming.
General Valefisk commiting attrocities in Alexandria
I've been a big fan of this franchise for over a decade.
I can tell you have no idea what you're doing.
This is so so good. "Egypt is so stupid. They've left no troops on their capital! I can just walk right in!" 2 turns later: I'll leave no troops on my capital! l;ololol 10/10
You can't get convicted of war crimes if the middle ages don't have war crimes.
Big brain plays from Valefisk
Venice always loses Venice in this game...and probably pisses off three of its neighbors and the Byzantines.
"I could have gathered some friends from the pub and taken Cairo on our own" sound like a regular Friday night to me (this just killed me)
Everyone dies in game of thrones, the newest season ends with a nuke dropping and killing everyone, the next season will probably start with it revealing why the giant explosion happened
JK I haven't actually watched game of thrones
“I will make no jokes about the crusade” *no ads* hmmmmmmm
I have Rome Total War 2 with Alexander and Barbarian Invasion expansions. Barbarian invasion is a solid 9/10, Total War 2 is a solid 8.5/10 and Alexander is a solid -10473829/10.
An army supposed to be crusading, guided by venice, doing something entirely different is terribly historically accurate I gotta say. Props to you for being within historical accurate
I love your channel only because you play all the games I grew up with
Disgusting! Anything but huge unit scale is a disgrace👿
This is the finest Total War game of all time
HE LIVES
Lets be honest now Vale, you would do the same thing that General did in the first Battle, send Peasents first and THEN the actual Force.
I kinda need money "Occupies the settlement".