5 Guys and Too Many Wives - The CK2 Babymaking Championship

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  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 15 ต.ค. 2024
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ความคิดเห็น • 284

  • @lizrathburn8603
    @lizrathburn8603 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2415

    Vale is trying to undo all his genocides and warcrimes via repopulation.

    • @alexmartin3191
      @alexmartin3191 5 ปีที่แล้ว +79

      He must repopulate or else there is no one to commit genocide on.

    • @ChronoTriggerHappy
      @ChronoTriggerHappy 5 ปีที่แล้ว +28

      and not by incest either. Gotta diversify (as much as having everyone have the same father :| )

    • @bradleysteltz642
      @bradleysteltz642 5 ปีที่แล้ว +18

      Thank you so much that is a excellent idea I'm going to play as a charter that has to have a kid for each person he kills and vice versa I will keep perfect balance

    • @jacobhu4431
      @jacobhu4431 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      2000th like. I feel acomplished.

  • @brandonbrock-smith1600
    @brandonbrock-smith1600 5 ปีที่แล้ว +847

    When you have 80 kids and have to pay child support
    Suffering From Success

  • @Valefisk
    @Valefisk  5 ปีที่แล้ว +1230

    This video is brought to you by the TH-cam Ethics Board: We're Completely Inept

    • @l0lLorenzol0l
      @l0lLorenzol0l 5 ปีที่แล้ว +50

      THΞ MΛLΞ FΛNTΛSY

    • @snipeyboi5934
      @snipeyboi5934 5 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      yeah just like your case at The Hague vale

    • @sorcererberoll4641
      @sorcererberoll4641 5 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      Valefisk please do more videos with these people

    • @seunghakkhun324
      @seunghakkhun324 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      now where have i seen this before?

    • @Airburn1507
      @Airburn1507 5 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Vale this wasn't prasing satan it was praising slannesh mah dude.

  • @tobiegamer9014
    @tobiegamer9014 5 ปีที่แล้ว +816

    Venice, the original Love Island

    • @jacksonthesyndicalist2771
      @jacksonthesyndicalist2771 5 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Yeah why do you think so many people would want to live on a swamp island

    • @JohnSmith-kb4re
      @JohnSmith-kb4re 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Extra Large did not kill himself

  • @aciarduce
    @aciarduce 5 ปีที่แล้ว +707

    "Does anyone have any sisters?"
    "Yeah but I'M using them...."
    xD

    • @voughklry8362
      @voughklry8362 4 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      Holup

    • @mecharobby
      @mecharobby 2 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      I would hate to be a girl on that island

  • @NovelPond
    @NovelPond 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1451

    When you Think about it. This is exactly what happends in an elderly home. When the oldest person die everyone steals his lovers. And so on

    • @OctavioMovies
      @OctavioMovies 5 ปีที่แล้ว +128

      I didnt know that you were an expert on elderly home lore Novel

    • @NovelPond
      @NovelPond 5 ปีที่แล้ว +214

      @@OctavioMovies you call it a elderly home. i call it a brothel

    • @mikeoxsmal8022
      @mikeoxsmal8022 5 ปีที่แล้ว +79

      @@NovelPond r/cursedcomments

    • @JohnDoe-or2qg
      @JohnDoe-or2qg 5 ปีที่แล้ว +15

      The good traditions must be kept alive.

    • @stygian8049
      @stygian8049 4 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      How to unsee a comment

  • @LordZaxom
    @LordZaxom 5 ปีที่แล้ว +409

    The worst part is, this isn't even that far off from actual Venice at the time

    • @armorfrogentertainment
      @armorfrogentertainment 5 ปีที่แล้ว +49

      Renaissance Venice was just a giant fuckfest

    • @thallan
      @thallan 5 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      It's VENEZIA

    • @armorfrogentertainment
      @armorfrogentertainment 5 ปีที่แล้ว +31

      @@thallan are you one of those people who doesn't believe in using linguistic variants of place names?

    • @BidiguiloChefao
      @BidiguiloChefao 5 ปีที่แล้ว +12

      ArmorFrog Entertainment that was probably a jojo reference

    • @samaustin339
      @samaustin339 4 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      Are you suggesting Venice isn’t Still like this?

  • @Hesstig
    @Hesstig 5 ปีที่แล้ว +609

    >not playing a religion that lets you have concubines/extra wives

    • @EternalVirgin
      @EternalVirgin 5 ปีที่แล้ว +36

      That's the fun of it

    • @Crick1952
      @Crick1952 5 ปีที่แล้ว +19

      Bastards > Concubines

  • @hotdogfingerz9674
    @hotdogfingerz9674 5 ปีที่แล้ว +542

    When are you committing war crimes in Lego Star Wars: The Complete Saga? I heard that Yoda death sound so no excuses

    • @manofsemantics7936
      @manofsemantics7936 5 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      HotDogFingerz He used it in the most recent Minecraft video, and it is art.

  • @JigsawLV
    @JigsawLV 5 ปีที่แล้ว +164

    "I have never met any of my children" - Valefisk, 2019

    • @EternalVirgin
      @EternalVirgin 5 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      Damn you Karen

    • @hazydoom69
      @hazydoom69 5 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      When your children count for half of Venice that's quite the achievement.

  • @jonahwiegand827
    @jonahwiegand827 5 ปีที่แล้ว +415

    *Ck2 player sees other people play their game*
    Ah men of culture!

  • @jonathanlee4511
    @jonathanlee4511 5 ปีที่แล้ว +421

    This episode makes me think of a poem written by a Chinese warlord by the name of Zhang Zongchang:
    “Untitled”
    Someone asks me how many women I have
    I really don’t know either
    Yesterday a boy called me ‘dad’
    I don’t know who his mother is

    • @bonogiamboni4830
      @bonogiamboni4830 4 ปีที่แล้ว +37

      What an absolute madlad.

    • @Jsay18
      @Jsay18 4 ปีที่แล้ว +26

      The Based Dogmeat General

    • @jonathanlee4511
      @jonathanlee4511 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Yessir

    • @gavins9846
      @gavins9846 4 ปีที่แล้ว +19

      At that point he can start raising armies from his own family. For the.. Fatherland! Literally!

    • @dheemantanil
      @dheemantanil 2 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      Chinese warlord era is extremely confusing and underrated

  • @thorianvan1582
    @thorianvan1582 5 ปีที่แล้ว +180

    Once had a game were I was trying to make a massive family starting at the viking age. I got immortal with my first character and he lived to the end of the game, my living members by the end of it were around 1500

    • @sephikong8323
      @sephikong8323 5 ปีที่แล้ว +30

      This dynasty caused lag by itself

    • @maleexile9053
      @maleexile9053 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      My immortal charecter literally became Darth Sion lol

  • @quinnamations9715
    @quinnamations9715 5 ปีที่แล้ว +269

    “Looking for Female”
    -Valefisk 2019

    • @HighAdmiral
      @HighAdmiral 5 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      Buying GF
      23 GP

  • @quiteindeed6809
    @quiteindeed6809 5 ปีที่แล้ว +89

    "Sorry i'm using them."
    Best line ever.

  • @taabgamez2476
    @taabgamez2476 5 ปีที่แล้ว +307

    Brought you by discord claimed by Genghis Khan

  • @CasualKiwiYGO
    @CasualKiwiYGO 5 ปีที่แล้ว +37

    Cannibalizing your lover gives new meaning to 'a midnight snack'

    • @NeonBeeCat
      @NeonBeeCat ปีที่แล้ว +4

      This reads like a Cards Against Humanity result.

  • @luxaeterna101
    @luxaeterna101 5 ปีที่แล้ว +105

    Enrico Dandolo's (the 41st doge, responsible for the fourth crusade) surname literally means "giving it" in Italian. Quite fitting indeed.

  • @Zimirrr
    @Zimirrr 5 ปีที่แล้ว +116

    The desperate house wives of venice

  • @ZKP314
    @ZKP314 5 ปีที่แล้ว +76

    Italian man and his gang founds the Hapsburg Dynasty, circa 800AD, colorized.

    • @sephikong8323
      @sephikong8323 5 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      Nah its the anti habsburg where no kid is related to one another

  • @Crick1952
    @Crick1952 5 ปีที่แล้ว +56

    When you play Venice with both the Austrian and Mongol strategies
    *Modern problems require modern solutions*

  • @Volvith
    @Volvith 5 ปีที่แล้ว +68

    A man walks into a bar with a 1911A1, loaded with 4 rounds, and yells: "WHO THE FUCK HAD SEX WITH MY WIFE."
    Valefisk and his friends reply: "Don't know, none of us really pay attention anymore, but you might need more bullets."

  • @boomboy8104
    @boomboy8104 5 ปีที่แล้ว +42

    Venice has become the kingdom of Slamalot, ruled by the Biggus Diccus dynasty.

  • @SentryWill
    @SentryWill 5 ปีที่แล้ว +184

    When you try and compete with China for population size

  • @Hexmonkey
    @Hexmonkey 5 ปีที่แล้ว +70

    “Does anyone have any sister?”
    “Yes but I’m using them.”

  • @izanagino-okami8221
    @izanagino-okami8221 5 ปีที่แล้ว +10

    Child: *dies*
    Valefish: *chuckles* YOU FOOL, I HAVE 70 ALTERNATIVE ACCOUNTS

  • @baz5042
    @baz5042 5 ปีที่แล้ว +140

    Ah, that’s hot...that’s hot!!

  • @lotrdude13
    @lotrdude13 5 ปีที่แล้ว +12

    A horse became Novel's court physician... nice. Honestly though it might not have been Novel, I kinda got confused as to who everyone was, but still, the horse becoming a court physician, that's hilarious.

    • @NovelPond
      @NovelPond 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      best thing is i didn't even notice

  • @angellolzz5192
    @angellolzz5192 5 ปีที่แล้ว +48

    You can’t resist BIG MIKE

  • @redrexi
    @redrexi 5 ปีที่แล้ว +35

    Well, they say Venice is the city of love for a reason.

  • @derpflinigan9490
    @derpflinigan9490 5 ปีที่แล้ว +21

    Really brings a whole new meaning to "Merchant of Venice" huh

  • @th3highwayman
    @th3highwayman 5 ปีที่แล้ว +53

    It appears that Valefisk is turning into Genghis Khan.

  • @anthonyromanelli1392
    @anthonyromanelli1392 5 ปีที่แล้ว +19

    I love these CK2 challenges so much! I discovered your channel through the Incest Challenge. Please do more of these kinds of meme videos, either single- or mutliplayer!

  • @kevintrang3007
    @kevintrang3007 5 ปีที่แล้ว +12

    Vidi, Vici, Veni - I saw, I conquered, I *came*

  • @StiveGuy
    @StiveGuy 5 ปีที่แล้ว +36

    7 kids at 22, sounds like my step brother.

  • @Solll0
    @Solll0 5 ปีที่แล้ว +66

    It's good to be the king

    • @maleexile9053
      @maleexile9053 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      Its good to be chief

    • @202mc4
      @202mc4 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@maleexile9053 It's good to be the emperor.

  • @ronkledonkanusmoncher564
    @ronkledonkanusmoncher564 5 ปีที่แล้ว +12

    “What? No! I mean we never said we can’t kill our children...”

  • @anthonyaurel6001
    @anthonyaurel6001 5 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    12:02 'DUDE YOU ARE BANGING MY HALF-SISTER. Oh, I am gonna do it as well' I am fucking dying here.

  • @wendevious7809
    @wendevious7809 4 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    The accidental political power they amassed made this all the better. The unknowing. Accidental. Political power.

  • @JohnDoe-or2qg
    @JohnDoe-or2qg 5 ปีที่แล้ว +15

    Nobody:
    Valefisk: I'm affraid of the effect I have on women.

  • @elsasslotharingen7507
    @elsasslotharingen7507 5 ปีที่แล้ว +10

    13:49 **waves hand **
    These are not my children

  • @zymon_dc
    @zymon_dc 5 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    The Geneva Convention has long been disconnected from server.
    Explicit War Crimes has entered the server.

  • @holycrusader3838
    @holycrusader3838 5 ปีที่แล้ว +12

    Come to the city of Venice you will see more prositutes than in Amsterdam and it's much more of a love city than Paris

  • @aisir3725
    @aisir3725 5 ปีที่แล้ว +42

    Sounds like idea for hentai/harem anime

  • @diepie5144
    @diepie5144 5 ปีที่แล้ว +10

    get every CKII TH-camr and start at the beginning of the game, see if you all can do what the Hapsburgs could not and create a universal dynastry

  • @matminecraft01
    @matminecraft01 5 ปีที่แล้ว +36

    MORE WIVES YOUR GRACE?

    • @viracocha6093
      @viracocha6093 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      “MORE WIVES YOUR GRACE?” -Arabs

  • @Caulderain
    @Caulderain 5 ปีที่แล้ว +10

    The new Habsburg simlulator looks sick

  • @itchykami
    @itchykami 4 ปีที่แล้ว +13

    This makes me wonder if you can make a dynasty so prolific that every other dynasty quickly becomes related to you.

  • @khurelbatbayanbat7913
    @khurelbatbayanbat7913 5 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    This is basically the Hapsburgs 2- electric boogaloo

  • @xLionsxxSmithyx
    @xLionsxxSmithyx 5 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    Meanwhile My character became an immortal and lost his Peepee while duelling a rival king on the battlefield... the Rival king Died, my immortal survived but losing my Peepee in battle is worse than death... He's not even aloud to get married because of it.

  • @against1virus
    @against1virus 5 ปีที่แล้ว +13

    Horse M.D the sequel to House M.D

  • @DonutWalrus
    @DonutWalrus 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    This started as who can be the biggest Chad and devolved into who can become the state of Alabama quickest

  • @voughklry8362
    @voughklry8362 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    It’s like watching 5 different genghis khan

  • @jarjab2games
    @jarjab2games 5 ปีที่แล้ว +10

    There were some guys in my highschool that did the same thing y'all did in this video. Except they did it irl.
    Not as good of an idea, that one.

  • @spartan1503
    @spartan1503 5 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    They are following the footsteps of Genghis khan i see

  • @kirillp.4630
    @kirillp.4630 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    And thats how Paradox implemented a court limit

  • @TheLOL_11
    @TheLOL_11 5 ปีที่แล้ว +18

    Women just love me, you know?

  • @ColeTrainStudio
    @ColeTrainStudio 5 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    Veni, vidi, vici?
    More like veni, veni, veni.

    • @EternalVirgin
      @EternalVirgin 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      I came, I came again, and I came

  • @isaacshultz8128
    @isaacshultz8128 5 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    "I just ate my lover"
    Hmm kinky

  • @kaspernyberg
    @kaspernyberg 5 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    Another great video from Vale"It sucks to be gay"fisk

  • @dr.vikyll7466
    @dr.vikyll7466 5 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    Venice, the city of Sin

  • @snipeyboi5934
    @snipeyboi5934 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    That court is basically a episode of desperate housewives.

  • @Bary_McCokner
    @Bary_McCokner ปีที่แล้ว

    The subtle thumbnail: "I saw, I conquered, I came."

  • @nickparka7981
    @nickparka7981 5 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    I'm calling CPS

  • @TicoHyuuga
    @TicoHyuuga 3 ปีที่แล้ว

    "why are you a homosexual?"
    "cause I had the opportunity..."

  • @koyba3747
    @koyba3747 5 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    An Italian with a Muslim, sounds like a sitcom

  • @imperatormaximus8952
    @imperatormaximus8952 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    How about you make the Carolingians go extinct with your own dynasty?

  • @edmjohan100
    @edmjohan100 5 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    Austria and the mongol empire combined.

  • @danieltsiprun8080
    @danieltsiprun8080 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Vale voice tiger 1 in bokoens oanzermedalsbstream the perfect war crime machine for the perfect criminal.

  • @ubershrimp69
    @ubershrimp69 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    “What are you doing step bro??”

  • @nighthawk72j80
    @nighthawk72j80 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Alcibiades would be proud of all of you.

  • @mredwardgibbon
    @mredwardgibbon 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    2:37 - He's getting them from Zagreb

  • @TheGribblesnitch
    @TheGribblesnitch 5 ปีที่แล้ว +14

    wow of course you made it unlisted

    • @Midnight-wh2bs
      @Midnight-wh2bs 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      All of his videos are unlisted, at least initially. He makes them unlisted and posts the link in discord and then makes the video public sometime later.

  • @funster0691
    @funster0691 5 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    I loved it it was hilarious. anyway back to the true reason I wanted to post this comment. I have and idea that might be fun to play Essentially you try to marry into every single royal Family then try to get that relative in to the position of power instead of whoever they married and that's it. and if you want some kind of contest you could get some other people to play with you and then see who can marry into the most royal families. Oh and one more thing although I have never played crusader kings II and my only real experience i have is a small series of videos that I watched like 2 years ago and this. I think there is a way to use family numbers that are married into a royal families to take over the countries now you could use this to add a bit more I guess flair to the contest by seeing who can take over the most countries in one session. now all of the information I just said what is this from those videos I watched like two years ago that I can barely remember so none of this might be true but it could be a cool contest if it was true or something you could just play on your own to get a laugh out of kind bullshit your family can get married into

  • @lukecasey2830
    @lukecasey2830 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    So this is the genghis khan challenge

  • @kekero540
    @kekero540 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Next time play as a ironborn in The Agot mod. You can have like 30 salt wives.

  • @MrShadowtruth
    @MrShadowtruth 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Holy shit this beats any deadly decedant court out of the water like holy shit.

  • @elharv4540
    @elharv4540 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Walder Frey part 2: Medieval Boogaloo.

  • @_yerf
    @_yerf 5 ปีที่แล้ว

    Imagine living as one of these characters
    Day and fucking night
    Day and *fucking* night

  • @mpspenguin2
    @mpspenguin2 5 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    did you ban present debutante or just not know it was a button you can press?

    • @EternalVirgin
      @EternalVirgin 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      It's just a waste of gold sometimes

    • @Crick1952
      @Crick1952 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      Attributes are pretty generic.
      Especially since they're in multiplayer seducing in-game women is more fun 😈

  • @killzone3fm
    @killzone3fm 5 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    Very epic man. Luckily child support is not created in that period of time

  • @brandontorres9601
    @brandontorres9601 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I appreciate the subtle Monty Python references

  • @Liuhuayue
    @Liuhuayue 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    0:04 Those are awfully masculine women you got there.

  • @thetrexgaming901
    @thetrexgaming901 5 ปีที่แล้ว

    Y'know Vale, this is just an average day in Old Europe

  • @elisnystrom2068
    @elisnystrom2068 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    The inspiration for the hapsburgs so beutiful

  • @Skiltra
    @Skiltra 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    i had 356 children once i had at least one child in every kingdom also when you have to many children you dont really care about them.

  • @hedylamar1668
    @hedylamar1668 5 ปีที่แล้ว

    Vale, you know when you did CoH Omaha beach map and got owned? Don't feel a failure - I did it under the same conditions and it took FOUR hours. I could have learnt swears in every foreign language in that time!

  • @scifimisc9191
    @scifimisc9191 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Should have put a no murder rule in, that kind of killed the fun of it at the start there for that bit. Otherwise great

  • @maleexile9053
    @maleexile9053 4 ปีที่แล้ว

    Charlemagne sees the 5 guys
    Breathes heavily intensfy

  • @sanguillotine
    @sanguillotine 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Should’ve done a pagan or muslin country so you could have concubines/multiple wives too

  • @lubiejazz2220
    @lubiejazz2220 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    A game for the whole family

  • @mafiacat88
    @mafiacat88 5 ปีที่แล้ว

    I mean to be fair its how many kids you could have, not how many you could keep alive.

  • @nickl5640
    @nickl5640 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Another quality video I see

  • @FalloutProfile
    @FalloutProfile 4 ปีที่แล้ว

    eS twist has a video on how to get all the dlc if y’all don’t want paradox robbin you. All you need is the free steam version.

  • @creditsunknown7974
    @creditsunknown7974 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    If you edit your chatacter Fertility trait, can you still have children even though you are a Eunuch?

  • @CharlieWolfi
    @CharlieWolfi 4 ปีที่แล้ว

    Well, it's almost been a year, perhaps this can be annual thing?

  • @Thievia
    @Thievia 5 ปีที่แล้ว

    I need a lp of you trying to populate the entire map 🙏

  • @patrickbest4575
    @patrickbest4575 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    The ultimate Eskimo bros.

  • @theloganpresley
    @theloganpresley 4 ปีที่แล้ว

    Welcome to our mighty Swingdom.

  • @grahambo09
    @grahambo09 3 ปีที่แล้ว

    We need this in CK3 now.