4:50 I feel this so much, it is incredibily invalidating when people whom are supposed to protect you, like your parents don't believe you till you're so low doctors are confirming you're in danger. I had a similar experience with my mom, she has a dissociative disorder, it's not DID, but I believe because of that and honestly overall not really understanding that she needs to watch for signs in her children, that she overlooked my depression, and other disorders for a VERY long time.
We got our diagnosis in August of last year, so pretty close to when you got yours. We struggled with understanding who we were for 5 years before that and struggled with trying to get the NHS to take us seriously enough as well. Up until we got diagnosed, we said that we believe we have some form of dissociative disorder but weren't sure which one. Now we're struggling to get the therapy we need. Anyways, all this to say we felt some understanding with what you were saying at the start and wanted to share. Much love from Scotland.
People who are against self dx don't understand how the psychiatry works honestly - especially when it comes to the huge difference there's between different countries and regions. It's not as simple as neurotypicals who like bullying mentally ill teens seem to think 💀 I really resonated with that part of feeling like im going crazy because I can't say what's wrong with me! Sry we are so dissociated today so this is a very disorganised comment Also not to fear monger, but there's also a legitimate risk to have certain conditions formally diagnosed. It can make immigration difficult, put you in danger of medical abuse, be used against you in legal cases, you can be forcefully hospitalised, ect. It does put a target on you and it doesn't necessarily give you any benefits. A formal DID diagnosis won't bring me any specialised help in my country Denmark from what I've been told. Same for autism if you're an adult - it can actually make them refuse to treat you for other conditions, such as ptsd or gender affirming care (every irl trans person i know lies to their gender clinic because they are scared of losing gender affirming care if they are honest about their mental health). I'd wish we lived in a perfect world where you go to your doctor, get the right dx and treatment without losing human rights or it costing you money, but that's not how the world works sadly. So we are very pro informed self dx and pro not seeking a formal diagnosis. We personally might get one, but we get if you don't want it or have better things to care about, like rent and food lol Sry we are all over the place. We have been heavily dissociated for over 24 hrs and are being very stubborn about not letting it stop us from doing things, but like our brain is literally fried 💀 Thanks for sharing your perspective and experience! It's also so cool you got to talk with Colin Ross even if he was annoying about your top op (never meet your heroes or something ig). Take care!
The problem with diagnosing yourself is you lack an external perception of your behaviour, body language, gait, eye contact, etcetera - all things that other people and most importantly doctors can pick up on that could or could not be then pegged to a disorder. If you are indeed disordered, your self perception will also be skewed and viewed through a distorted lense. Many disorders also have overlapping diagnostic criteria and are mistaken for one another. It's also incredibly easy to mistake normal social awkwardness or juvenille traits like being uncomfortable with your body as a teenager or becoming self conscious in your formative years overall for any number of "conditions' and "disorders".
Thanks for sharing L, I'm sure this is going to be helpful to a lot of people. I can understand the frustration with therapists and them not listening. It's a shame that the place in Texas shut down, it seemed like a really good place.
:( im in texas and im sad to hear that place closed down. ive never had a therapist or professional help before cause of financial issues anyway but mannn
Sorry you had to go through being blackmailed into treatment and I’m sorry the treatment methods were so shitty (thought I’m not sorry you eventually got a diagnosis out of the experience!) I think it kind of show how vital self determination is for our brains and our sense of safety, control etc. I tend to think it’s like how there’s progress in understanding that positive training for dogs for example is so much more effective (not to mention healthy, and generates trust and general life-happiness for the animal) than the old-school methods of teaching through fear, authoritarianism and punishments. Our emotional and our threat-detection brain circuitry is essentially the same; we still have mammal animal brains. I kind of blows my mind that those sort of treatment centers would actually still be using punishments as a tool when they should know that EDs in particular are so often subconscious emotional coping methods and our brains have a desperate reason to reach for them. I hate it when people who should be helping are operating from a defensive perspective/part of their own thought patterns, that’s just no help at all. Curiosity, compassion and validation would be an actually therapeutic starting point for any treatment
Right now i live in a city where there is a medical teaching college AND university. Three mental hospitals. They closed one when i was young and started popping people out onto the street .(1965 and keep on counting . . and that is still going on. Now we only have a ward that would hold maybe 16 people and the only way you end up there is if you try to end yourself. Screw everyone else - they can be on the street. They just closed the safe injection house and safe house so i'm really really pissed. There are NO DOCTORS NONE that treat anyone with DID There are no phycologists psychiatrists etc NONE. In short - when i was young i knew i was switching (age 14) when i got to about 20 I knew for sure. When i was 30 I met another woman that had DID (called MPD at that time - and i never knew this good woman to EVER get any decent care) Then i knew for sure. Self diagnosis - you bet and find anything that can help get through life. I finally got 'formerly' diagnosed by a doctor i had started seeing for severe anxiety when i was 40 - the DID label didn't come for another 10 years and this man was wonderful. But rare. And he died in 2021 and i 've been on my own since .By the way After Dr. M diagnosed me I had other doctors try to say he was wrong and diagnosed me with the insane things - Borderline and others that oh, ya trigger the shit out of me because of my parents. CBT is BS for DID and head trauma therapy . So , for anyone reading this , you are in an age now where you can listen to folks like L here. I would recommend that you buy the books for IFS therapy from Amazon - It's a fantastic therapy model ; and stupidly expensive from docs who now see it as the 'cool thing' apparently everyone has 'others' now which i think is one of the worst things they can do to a community that DO HAVE OTHERS. PS. - i also have my papers in Psychology, specializing in Child Abuse, Domestic Abuse, Eating Disorders and Brain Injury. Cheers all THANKYOU L !!!
just wanted to let you know that I have never clicked on a video involving Michael Cera, but I saw your video where you referred to yourself as goth Michael Cera, and now the top recommended vid after this is him breaking down his "most iconic characters"
so instead of adding to my other babble - can i just say Isn't it a B*ch that we have to self advocate, and diagnose WHILE dealing with it and then have to convince a doctor!
Hey, I just want to ask.. how does it work with "i/me" and "we"? because i see lot of people using " we, our and us" and some people (including me) just talk in singular even if they're plural..?
I usually say I because I’m trained to and because in this vid especially, i’m talking mainly about my own experience. But when I talk about other stuff I sometimes use we. I don’t always want to rope them into my perspective because I don’t know if everyone perceives things the same way I do. I don’t know if that made sense, I’m tired - L
I got diagnosed and I still don't believe I have it most of the time 💀.
Same 💀💀💀
“Ladies, Gentlemen, and Those that Lie Betwixt”: As someone who lies betwixt, I thank you for that subtle nod to the gender non conforming community❤
4:50 I feel this so much, it is incredibily invalidating when people whom are supposed to protect you, like your parents don't believe you till you're so low doctors are confirming you're in danger. I had a similar experience with my mom, she has a dissociative disorder, it's not DID, but I believe because of that and honestly overall not really understanding that she needs to watch for signs in her children, that she overlooked my depression, and other disorders for a VERY long time.
We got our diagnosis in August of last year, so pretty close to when you got yours. We struggled with understanding who we were for 5 years before that and struggled with trying to get the NHS to take us seriously enough as well. Up until we got diagnosed, we said that we believe we have some form of dissociative disorder but weren't sure which one. Now we're struggling to get the therapy we need.
Anyways, all this to say we felt some understanding with what you were saying at the start and wanted to share. Much love from Scotland.
People who are against self dx don't understand how the psychiatry works honestly - especially when it comes to the huge difference there's between different countries and regions. It's not as simple as neurotypicals who like bullying mentally ill teens seem to think 💀 I really resonated with that part of feeling like im going crazy because I can't say what's wrong with me! Sry we are so dissociated today so this is a very disorganised comment
Also not to fear monger, but there's also a legitimate risk to have certain conditions formally diagnosed. It can make immigration difficult, put you in danger of medical abuse, be used against you in legal cases, you can be forcefully hospitalised, ect. It does put a target on you and it doesn't necessarily give you any benefits. A formal DID diagnosis won't bring me any specialised help in my country Denmark from what I've been told. Same for autism if you're an adult - it can actually make them refuse to treat you for other conditions, such as ptsd or gender affirming care (every irl trans person i know lies to their gender clinic because they are scared of losing gender affirming care if they are honest about their mental health). I'd wish we lived in a perfect world where you go to your doctor, get the right dx and treatment without losing human rights or it costing you money, but that's not how the world works sadly. So we are very pro informed self dx and pro not seeking a formal diagnosis. We personally might get one, but we get if you don't want it or have better things to care about, like rent and food lol
Sry we are all over the place. We have been heavily dissociated for over 24 hrs and are being very stubborn about not letting it stop us from doing things, but like our brain is literally fried 💀
Thanks for sharing your perspective and experience! It's also so cool you got to talk with Colin Ross even if he was annoying about your top op (never meet your heroes or something ig). Take care!
The problem with diagnosing yourself is you lack an external perception of your behaviour, body language, gait, eye contact, etcetera - all things that other people and most importantly doctors can pick up on that could or could not be then pegged to a disorder. If you are indeed disordered, your self perception will also be skewed and viewed through a distorted lense. Many disorders also have overlapping diagnostic criteria and are mistaken for one another. It's also incredibly easy to mistake normal social awkwardness or juvenille traits like being uncomfortable with your body as a teenager or becoming self conscious in your formative years overall for any number of "conditions' and "disorders".
Thanks for sharing L, I'm sure this is going to be helpful to a lot of people. I can understand the frustration with therapists and them not listening. It's a shame that the place in Texas shut down, it seemed like a really good place.
:( im in texas and im sad to hear that place closed down. ive never had a therapist or professional help before cause of financial issues anyway but mannn
Sorry you had to go through being blackmailed into treatment and I’m sorry the treatment methods were so shitty (thought I’m not sorry you eventually got a diagnosis out of the experience!) I think it kind of show how vital self determination is for our brains and our sense of safety, control etc. I tend to think it’s like how there’s progress in understanding that positive training for dogs for example is so much more effective (not to mention healthy, and generates trust and general life-happiness for the animal) than the old-school methods of teaching through fear, authoritarianism and punishments. Our emotional and our threat-detection brain circuitry is essentially the same; we still have mammal animal brains. I kind of blows my mind that those sort of treatment centers would actually still be using punishments as a tool when they should know that EDs in particular are so often subconscious emotional coping methods and our brains have a desperate reason to reach for them. I hate it when people who should be helping are operating from a defensive perspective/part of their own thought patterns, that’s just no help at all. Curiosity, compassion and validation would be an actually therapeutic starting point for any treatment
Right now i live in a city where there is a medical teaching college AND university. Three mental hospitals. They closed one when i was young and started popping people out onto the street .(1965 and keep on counting . . and that is still going on. Now we only have a ward that would hold maybe 16 people and the only way you end up there is if you try to end yourself. Screw everyone else - they can be on the street. They just closed the safe injection house and safe house so i'm really really pissed. There are NO DOCTORS NONE that treat anyone with DID There are no phycologists psychiatrists etc NONE. In short - when i was young i knew i was switching (age 14) when i got to about 20 I knew for sure. When i was 30 I met another woman that had DID (called MPD at that time - and i never knew this good woman to EVER get any decent care) Then i knew for sure. Self diagnosis - you bet and find anything that can help get through life. I finally got 'formerly' diagnosed by a doctor i had started seeing for severe anxiety when i was 40 - the DID label didn't come for another 10 years and this man was wonderful. But rare. And he died in 2021 and i 've been on my own since .By the way After Dr. M diagnosed me I had other doctors try to say he was wrong and diagnosed me with the insane things - Borderline and others that oh, ya trigger the shit out of me because of my parents. CBT is BS for DID and head trauma therapy . So , for anyone reading this , you are in an age now where you can listen to folks like L here. I would recommend that you buy the books for IFS therapy from Amazon - It's a fantastic therapy model ; and stupidly expensive from docs who now see it as the 'cool thing' apparently everyone has 'others' now which i think is one of the worst things they can do to a community that DO HAVE OTHERS. PS. - i also have my papers in Psychology, specializing in Child Abuse, Domestic Abuse, Eating Disorders and Brain Injury. Cheers all THANKYOU L !!!
Off topic but your hair looks really good here! Super masc 🙏🏻
ill nvr be diagnosed. rural area. i think i might be better off buying a workbook. i hope this give me hope.
5:00 yooo, I'm so sorry ya'll were blackmailed into an inpatient center, that's messed up
just wanted to let you know that I have never clicked on a video involving Michael Cera, but I saw your video where you referred to yourself as goth Michael Cera, and now the top recommended vid after this is him breaking down his "most iconic characters"
i’m his most iconic character
so instead of adding to my other babble - can i just say Isn't it a B*ch that we have to self advocate, and diagnose WHILE dealing with it and then have to convince a doctor!
Another great video you all are freaking amazing ❤
Thank you!
I'm having signs of did and my new therapist have talked about it being possible but idk what to do about it
Hey, I just want to ask.. how does it work with "i/me" and "we"? because i see lot of people using " we, our and us" and some people (including me) just talk in singular even if they're plural..?
I usually say I because I’m trained to and because in this vid especially, i’m talking mainly about my own experience. But when I talk about other stuff I sometimes use we. I don’t always want to rope them into my perspective because I don’t know if everyone perceives things the same way I do. I don’t know if that made sense, I’m tired - L
Where are you? What is this background??? It's super trippy like out of some kinda surrealist film
looks like a garage