i am overthinking because of some fears... i am afraid that im gonna get hurt again especially that i am so serious about my partner and our relationship..
Hey Vilma I hear you. Sometimes when we fear something so deeply we hold onto so tightly not knowing that we can be fueling our hurt and anxiousness. It can be an exhausting cycle to be in. If you’re looking for more in depth healing / ready to break this cycle message me on instagram for more details ❤️
I am struggling so hard right now I am keeping it to myself. I am so confused and I know if I say things out loud to someone they would be like …. “Umm leave”. I have talked and talked to my husband about a situation that happened. I foundout something 2 years ago and I still can’t let it go. I just want to argue with him for no reason but I am stopping myself because there is no reason to fight. I feel insane.
my problem is that i overthink everything and then tell him about it which causes stress for him even more than what is already going on in his life, i dont want to lose him like i did with others due to my overthinking and constant reassurance
Just made that mistake but I’m learning to not be so vulnerable and with a mindset like “I should keep some things to myself, not everything needs to be said”
@@Mentoraaaaaaaaaaaa1 that's not necessarily good for you. it's okay to be vulnerable and talk to your partner after all vulnerability is a key element in relationships. i know it feels like being vulnerable means putting your guard down but again, you're in your present and you have all the right to full allow yourself to be loving and vulnerable in your relationship. whatever happens is for the future, you can’t control that. don't stop yourself from fully enjoying your relationship, be easy on yourself you got this!:)
I feel like my anxiety fluctuates, like I can be so secure in my relationship and then my anxiety gets a little bad and I start spiralling in this terrible mindset of like always assuming the worst in my partner from pure misinterpretation and assumption. It’s so frustrating because I know how irrational it all is, yet my brain starts obsessing and I just can’t get over it…I shut down irl and just start trying so hard to pretend like everything is okay, yet it’s so obvious to others that something is going on inside my head. So when it’s appropriate and we’re in a more private setting I’ll say something. Of course absolutely botch whatever it was I was going to say and it just comes out so accusatory when I’m really just looking for clarity and an open conversation. I have no idea what’s going on with me but for the last 3 weeks I’ve had something come up for me. I feel terrible because my boyfriend is a literal angel and isn’t like any of the other guys I’ve been with…so why is it so hard for me when I’m feeling down on myself. Like why the hell do I think this way sometimes. I just want to go back to being more sure about myself and my partner. I feel like I’m watching myself react and push him away. I feel totally crazy for thinking this way and always regret opening up about my thought. :(
i feel you on this. i’m the beginning of my relationship everything was going so well, no overthinking issues. idk why i keep second guessing my partner, he’s literally an angel, he treats me so well and i adore him so much, but then i start thinking about the worst idk why, maybe bc it’s getting serious? i hope we get our mindsets better
I started crying reading this. Its exactly what ive been going through. Were about to celebrate our 1 year anniversary and I cant stop feeling this fire in my brain or pressure in my chest. I am terrified.
@@yohgabbigabbi Me and my boyfriend are just about 3 months to our 1 year anniversary too so from what I can see right now is I definitely see how you feel and if it does help that you are not alone in this situation I truly do mean It when I say you’re not alone and I wish you and your partner the very beyond the best 1 year anniversary and best wishes many more successful years to come 💗
@@dahlia9917 I appreciate it! He actually broke up with me the day after this, so I guess I wasn't overthinking anything and my gut was trying to tell me something 😅. Its been a week now and I'm still picking up the pieces but I've had a lot of realizations that my overthinking and anxiety was due to his lack of conversation or prioritizing me. Much love 💕
i hate being an overthinker. it's really draining and sometimes even leads me to tears only to find out i was making a big deal out of everything and im actually okay. i wish i could be more naive and just stop thinking about those problems so much
man I only looked this up cus I wanna help my girlfriend, she overthinks and gets upset even if it’s bout something so small and she snaps at me but I understand how she feels cus she’s just afraid but I truly do wanna help her overthinking because I know she needs me but thank you so much man, thank you for this video!:)
My now Ex girlfriend was a serious overthinker. I love her with every bit of me but she called it quits. She said it’s too much for her to deal with and that she always analyzes everything about us. The tough part is that I am absolutely in love with her and have tried to get her to understand that. It’s the most helpless and worst feeling ever. I wish everyone struggling the best.
It's hard to put trust in people these days, but if you really love that person and think they really love you too, it's okay to trust them. If something does go on then.. screw them and you deserve better. It's gonna be okay, I believe in you, stranger.
Me too, I'm so terrified that they might say "I'm busy" as an excuse and lose interest in me possibly cheating. But even if it hasn't actually happened, I'm just afraid it would.
Reassuring an overthinker when your intentions are pure is draining because it makes you feel like they don’t even try to appreciate you. Then you stop
I always end up ruining my relationships because of me constantly overthinking and I’m with someone now that I really care about but I can’t stop with this problem
In my relationship is long distance and I fear that I made the wrong choice but I chose for a reason and I’ve never gave this relationship a shot. I want to stop overthinking because I’m thinking of the what if I did this instead. But it’s mentally exhausting but I know one day I’ll be okay.
When someone over thinks and accuses you of doing something shady but then tells you they trust you and love you and then snap at you for lossing trust...
This video truly helped me, I’ve found myself overthink literally everything about my relationship (mostly not feeling like I’m getting enough attention) and has caused me to snap into reality and realize that I really was and I was just overthinking it in my head.
I recently got into a serious relationship. Known her for 5 months . Have been dating for 3 weeks. It’s my first ever healthy relationship, and I do have moments where I would get anxiety from past situations and just start overthinking a lot. She always tells me to tell her when I’m overthinking so she can give me reassurance . However, sometimes I don’t want to because I feel like I’m going to bother her if I keep bringing it up. This video has helped me a little and I recently have been able to open up about my overthinking and she has reassured me that she won’t get tired of me constantly overthinking because she also deals with anxiety so she understands me. I don’t want it to be her responsibility though, but I am telling her that I will work on it.
@@Urmomlikesclip if ur curious, the overthinking wasn’t the problem or at least wasn’t the main reason we ended. I would say 90% of it failing was due to poor communication. I can’t fully blame her because there were times where I could’ve worked on it as well. However, there were moments where her communication were at an all time low and it was hard to work with her or though it. She did have a no so good childhood and growing up she didn’t really have a mother figure or the understanding of what maturity or communication was. Constant arguing from her father’s side as well. I knew that she was a bit more complicated to understand but I tried my best. There were times in which she wouldn’t tell me the truth of how she felt or she wouldn’t want to tell me how she felt because in her words, “ I don’t wanna let you know how I feel because you will only do something about because I told you” or “ I don’t want you to worry about me. And not doing so caused us to grow resentment. Additionally, any time we would discuss what we would want in our relationship it felt like I was doing most of the talking. Maybe she didn’t know or didn’t understand what a healthy or mature mindset I had was , and so she would slowly push me away. And then it got to the point where we just got tired of it. And we ultimately decided it wasn’t the time for us. I had said “ i just feel like our conversations feel forced and you aren’t talking to me like im your boyfriend, i feel like just another person.” And she responded, “ yea I just feel like this whole time it was forced because I just wanted to feel what my sister and her bf were feeling .” 🤷🏻♂️ couldn’t do much after that. Yes there are more details to the story but I think in general she just wasn’t ready for a relationship (emotionally and mentally) and jumped the gun too quickly.
Also yes there were moments in which I could’ve done more like go out of my way to do this or say this or ask about this but even then I felt her pushing me away. I would tell people about the things I have already done to improve our relationship and they agreed that I did more than enough. And it gets tiring having to give more off your plate and the other person only gives you crumbs. Overthinking did play a small part in the sense that she would help me out with my overthinking but when she would suddenly fail at communicating it would get worse. I would mention what caused my overthinking and she would recognize the problem and few days later still do it unknowingly. When I would mention what caused it , she wouldn’t take accountability and there were even times where she would get annoyed . She was definitely a good person but just not ready for a relationship. I would say I definitely was more mature and ready but not ready for having to put in more than I give.
I've been observing myself thoughts a lot these past two years. During the pandemic , made my relationship with my boyfriend even more difficult than ever. As a result of my observation, I assume that I have got fear of abandonment excessively. I didn't realise it when we were together but the more we are away and didn't get to see each other, I am feeling depressed and very sad and before I knew it I would start being so irritating and annoying to him. I want to get rid of these insecurities because it is really ruin my mental health and my relationship. sometimes I think I am crazy. I need help and found your videos are awesome and helpful. I want to learn more about this. Thank you so much.
I hear you and Thank you for sharing and being vulnerable + transparent about your situation. There is a lot of unpredictability and chaos during the time of the pandemic so I understand. I’m glad you were able to utilize that time to reflect and work on healing. If you’re looking for more guidance and healing don’t hesitate to reach out on Instagram. Sending you much love to heal and as always you got this
I have the same issue. Distance just makes things worse for me. I became too controlling, fighting and being rude everytime my partner leaves his place with his friends or family. I keep thinking the worse case if I get late replies, lack of reassurance and time. Its more than 2yrs n idk how to stop. My partner is tired too. We’re trying to fix things and I really hope I do it right.
@@tasha0 im in the same thing right now, shes at college 6 hours away and im having so much trouble letting my gaurd down and she walks through it all with me but i just cant control it sometimes, ive been hurt so many times.. i want to stop being like this i dont to lose her.
@@dontbrandme9803 this feeling just sucks right. Like we are aware how wrong we are yet cant make it stop. Keep watching videos. Try to understand things and talk it out. I still didn’t fix myself but I’m trying. I can say I’m getting a lil better but sometimes I mess it up again. Hope u do things right ❤️
@@tasha0 i think the worst part is no matter how much they say "i wont give up" i feel like im slowly changing that answer they give me with my insecurities. Its really hard , i know what your going through, you could have such a great day with them and one little thing can change it completely, i sometimes find myself looking for a reason for it to go wrong, its very unhealthy and im sure we both know this, but i think as long as we talk it out them them and dont overwhelm them by accusing but more so explaining how we feel, they will offer reassurance. Distance is the worst of all, but its not impossible. Just remember what we go through may be relatable but its not the same as others completely.
This has helped me a lot I’m currently in a relationship with a beautiful girl and I’m stressed that she’s going to leave me because I’m not good enough and that she can find someone better and that she gets a lot of attention from other men but when I overthink I forget how reassuring she is and that she has already proven that she’s capable of shutting down any attempt of getting hit on
I was overthinking about my gf falling asleep at 7pm and then getting back to me late at night. Felt like she was being sneaky but understood it was overthinking most likely. Definitely looking for help and advice
i cant even explain how much this video has helped me, i have been struggling with severe anxiety and overthinking since i was 9 (i am 19 now) and i feel like no one really explained this to me like how to stop overthinking the way you did so thank you. This video also helped me find out why i started overthinking and kinda where it started in the first place really helpful stuff
Thank you so much for this video. I've been with my partner for a year and months now but I've come to an awareness that I have a problem of over controlling everything about our relationship including my partner. However I'm also coming to deep realizations that I should just let things flow and not be ahead of myself. If it's meant to be it will survive all tests and trials and if not then one surely moves on with life. When you love something or someone, give space for freedom. Everything is about freedom.
This is very helpful. Im just now understanding that i am an extreme over thinker . This video is insightful and helpful for my journey and healing journey.
I’m so happy this video helped! Sending you much love on your healing journey. Ps .. if you’re looking for more guidance I just hosting a live webinar going over my step by step formula on how to start healing your attachment style. Would you like me to send over a link to watch the replay?
I have abandonment issues from adolescence. In my my romantic relationships the girl have always left of switched up. I thought I healed but sometime we don’t know what’s there until it presents itself in a relationship
Thank you for this video. I really needed this. I'm an over thinker because of past trauma & heartbreak. But I don't want it to ruin my relationship. Certain things I see trigger it but I have to learn that I can control what other do. I can only control what I do and how I respond. Thank you for helping me see other things to shift my focus to. Every day is a challenge but I get through it.
My girlfriend and I have been dating for about 5 months and after the 3 month mark I started overthinking about things that I knew were true like when she goes out with friends and I would think why isn’t she texting me. To the point where I would have some resentment towards her. She eventually brought it out of me and with me breaking down she comforted me. She told me that she’ll never do anything to hurt me and I was her rock and that made me feel good. When I have a gut feeling about something it’s usually true but for once it’s been a good gut feeling. She really holds me and keeps me from getting into the anxiety phases. The amount of love I have for this is unbelievable 🙂
So I’m not the only one who suffers from that exact type of gut feelings? Man, knowing that the worst part is that it may be due to something that’s true cause it has proven to be that way is what makes all this overthinking and anxiety even worse. Like some sorta curse for all the damage it makes, but kinda helpful because of its veracity. But getting to know if it’s not a result of an excessive overthinking and compulsive emotionalism, that’s the real deal.
I overthink a lot too. Just yesterday I fought with my ldr partner. She's the sweetest, she gives me time, attention, care and love. I know she puts in a lot of effort. But right now, cause of some issues (too long to get into) , I keep overthinking and doubting everything. I need help badly.
Omfg.. I am the exact same. I’ve been with this girl for 11 months now (long distance 5 hours) exact same the most sweetest, loving , caring not one bad thing to say but with some issues I’m the same my heads honestly gone through hell for 11 months and I’m still here at the same point over thinking and if she’s lying. I don’t think I can deal with this anymore I also have Tourette’s/ADHD/OCD I really don’t wanna leave her but I feel like if I stay my head is gonna blow up and destroying my whole life 24/7 Anyone gone through the same thing and got advice or could help?
@@harrisonburrell01 1 year late but Im going trough the same and its been only 2 months (ldr) and a week for me, I could say the same of her but I always keep overthinking everything, every action and every word, she is still friends with her ex and talks with him everydays, she atleast tells me whats going on but she says he is just a friend (like everyone says) but I dont think I can hold on for longer tho.
I find that assuming the worst comes from a deep rooted fear of that assumption already happening. How do we face that fear so that we don't have such a tight grip on it so I can stop assuming it to be true before it even happens?
I’d like to say thank you, and I’ll continuously visit this video, I’m in a relationship and we decided to be friends until I’m better, I love her a lot and will do anything for her❤️
I’ve been overthinking recently about this one girl that makes me happy, but her baby daddy just randomly messaged her and wanted to get together again if ykyk, so that sent me down the rabbit hole of over thinking, and to make it worse she spent the last 4 days at his house, I’ve been paranoid since…
Thank you so much! I can relate to everything you said in this video and it made me feel so much better knowing that I’m not alone and that other people are or have felt the same way I am
I love my overthinking mind, it helps me caught my partner from cheating, and it caught my partner several times doing things behind my back that they shouldn't be doing, and it also raise awareness of what my partner's next move wil lgoing to be. It's a 6th sense, a blessing
when you caught your partner did you clearly see evidence and did he deny? I’m struggling on believing a situation that supposedly didn’t involve my partner and I’m having a hard time moving on and believing that he wasn’t doing things he wasn’t supposed to be doing.
It definitely helping me out but I still need some work and some areas I'm just getting in a friendship with a woman and I I overthink about her a lot but since I've been watching this video I'm trying to stop over think of her and it is helping but I still need some work and some other areas
I got used alot in life i used to get stabbed i was so scared to love again but sometimes the overthinking comes to me and I start to hate the way that I did this and start to cry cause I think that I’m not good enough or he hates me or he won’t love me no more I wanted to stop overthinking , and I finally know how to stop it thanks to u w out u i couldn’t been able to be this happy again and to heal my boyfriend again thank u alotttt ❤️
I've gotten in my first real high school relationship with someone I really love and my past if making me overthink and cause me to think she is losing interest in me and starting to make me overthink your videos are helping me realize that if I dont stop it could end badly so think you for this
In my case I have dated my boyfriend for nearly a month now and I overthink that I am going to ruin it. I have never been in a relationship before, he was my first kiss and so on. So now I am thinking "what if I just like the attention?" And other things like that, when I know deep down that I love him and that I have never felt this way before. It is just so hard to deal with because it affects our relationship because I tell him my overthinking about us, so he starts to overthink our relationship. I hope that these feelings of ruining our relationship is going to disapear after some time, that it is just in the begining when everything is new. Thanks for the video❤
@@Rohan-pf4vv Yes!! I love him so so much I can’t even explain it. I my case my feelings of really being in love came later for me than for him, so just wait. The feelings I explained earlier and the overthinking is now gone! Sometimes it can come, but I don’t think too much about it because I know it is just my brain playing games hahah! I hope it goes well with you and your girlfriend!!
idk what to do, im in a healthy relationship but my last one was so unhealthy. i find myself checking their reposts every minute of the day, seeing when there active constantly monitoring them to make sure everything’s okay. it’s so draining and i constantly crave any affection i feel like i need it to feel okay
My ex wife cheated on me after 20 years... then again... and again.... so I filed for a divorce. 4 years later I'm in a new and serious relationship and I realized I'm still scarred from my ex.... I just needed confidence and had to think that it's her loss if something's happens. Now my ex is begging me back and I get to tell her no.
I hate that im such an overthinker cause im also causing my bf to stress and i really dont like that. Im trying to change so i can give a much easier and calmer life to him cause he has his education to worry about aswell i hope that in the future i will stop overthinking
My bf just started driving and I feel like now that he has that he’s gonna shut me out and that’s another way that he could talk to other girls without me finding out…Ifykyk
I ruined my relationship with her because of constant overthinking , i now want to remove my overthinking habits , so i can now live in peace without worrying about her too much Man , I miss her a lot , We had fun together and we argue each other yet , We still love each other but now today , She is not here
I stopped dating at 18 I've dated 6 girls in my past. I'm 28 now and all I been focusing is on working out my mental and physical health I'm an introvert myself and struggling having a hard time finding the right woman in my hometown. And I'm always overthrowing about getting rejected immediately. I need advice on how to overcome this fear and stop worrying about starting a conversation with a woman I like I see girls at my gym but afraid to talk to them cause I don't wanna bother them in their workout or if their with their boyfriends so I keep to myself even when I go to stores I see women by themselves and not doing anything I'm really struggling how to approach with out looking like a fool. Any piece of advice is very helpful.
Thank you. I had my first ever girlfriend months ago that really messed with my head and we broke up only because I wasn't showing potential because I was thinking the worst-case scenario and I was overthinking. Now I am in a new relationship and I can finally breathe and live up to my full potential thank you!
My GF and I have made the decision to take it slow after some events have happened and all I do now is overthink everything and over analyze every text….. I hate this feeling it’s so uncomfortable
we’re broken up currently, and we’re trying to wait for eachother and she seems to be doing just fine and that worries me because i think i’m going to be disposed of because i really don’t want to lose this girl, i want to have a future withxher but i’m just scared i won’t be enough for her, i also just miss having her and i miss texting her everyday and it hurts me knowing i cant right now, and i’m scared i won’t heal for her and we won’t work out
I overthink every little thing when my bf smiles in a game i think he is playing with a girl and that he would leave me im so scared that he leaves me but that fear is only leading him to it
i reached out for help from my girlfriend, and now my fears have come true because she doesnt want me to tall to her bc “im not her therapist” and now she wants a break i dont know what to do i feel like im in a hole i cant escape
it’s like your brain is on hyperdrive to find anything that might hurt you to the point where it’ll make up scenarios that it Hass to protect you from! Like I overthink everything everything even my girlfriend says you gotta stop overthinking everything if she doesn’t say goodbye to me I’m like what the fuck if she says K instead of OK I think about that I’m just so tired of overthinking!
Found you through tik tok, I love your approach to this topic it really caught my attention and made me click onto your youtube! This is so relatable and straight to the point! Keep up the great work👏🏼
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i am overthinking because of some fears... i am afraid that im gonna get hurt again especially that i am so serious about my partner and our relationship..
Hey Vilma I hear you. Sometimes when we fear something so deeply we hold onto so tightly not knowing that we can be fueling our hurt and anxiousness. It can be an exhausting cycle to be in. If you’re looking for more in depth healing / ready to break this cycle message me on instagram for more details ❤️
Same here
@@JanetteZeto same here :(((
I am struggling so hard right now I am keeping it to myself.
I am so confused and I know if I say things out loud to someone they would be like …. “Umm leave”. I have talked and talked to my husband about a situation that happened. I foundout something 2 years ago and I still can’t let it go. I just want to argue with him for no reason but I am stopping myself because there is no reason to fight.
I feel insane.
Same
my problem is that i overthink everything and then tell him about it which causes stress for him even more than what is already going on in his life, i dont want to lose him like i did with others due to my overthinking and constant reassurance
same here
god me too dude
Just made that mistake but I’m learning to not be so vulnerable and with a mindset like “I should keep some things to myself, not everything needs to be said”
GOSH SAME
@@Mentoraaaaaaaaaaaa1 that's not necessarily good for you. it's okay to be vulnerable and talk to your partner after all vulnerability is a key element in relationships. i know it feels like being vulnerable means putting your guard down but again, you're in your present and you have all the right to full allow yourself to be loving and vulnerable in your relationship. whatever happens is for the future, you can’t control that.
don't stop yourself from fully enjoying your relationship, be easy on yourself you got this!:)
I feel like my anxiety fluctuates, like I can be so secure in my relationship and then my anxiety gets a little bad and I start spiralling in this terrible mindset of like always assuming the worst in my partner from pure misinterpretation and assumption. It’s so frustrating because I know how irrational it all is, yet my brain starts obsessing and I just can’t get over it…I shut down irl and just start trying so hard to pretend like everything is okay, yet it’s so obvious to others that something is going on inside my head. So when it’s appropriate and we’re in a more private setting I’ll say something. Of course absolutely botch whatever it was I was going to say and it just comes out so accusatory when I’m really just looking for clarity and an open conversation. I have no idea what’s going on with me but for the last 3 weeks I’ve had something come up for me. I feel terrible because my boyfriend is a literal angel and isn’t like any of the other guys I’ve been with…so why is it so hard for me when I’m feeling down on myself. Like why the hell do I think this way sometimes. I just want to go back to being more sure about myself and my partner. I feel like I’m watching myself react and push him away. I feel totally crazy for thinking this way and always regret opening up about my thought. :(
i feel you on this. i’m the beginning of my relationship everything was going so well, no overthinking issues. idk why i keep second guessing my partner, he’s literally an angel, he treats me so well and i adore him so much, but then i start thinking about the worst idk why, maybe bc it’s getting serious? i hope we get our mindsets better
I started crying reading this. Its exactly what ive been going through. Were about to celebrate our 1 year anniversary and I cant stop feeling this fire in my brain or pressure in my chest. I am terrified.
@@yohgabbigabbi Me and my boyfriend are just about 3 months to our 1 year anniversary too so from what I can see right now is I definitely see how you feel and if it does help that you are not alone in this situation I truly do mean It when I say you’re not alone and I wish you and your partner the very beyond the best 1 year anniversary and best wishes many more successful years to come 💗
@@dahlia9917 I appreciate it! He actually broke up with me the day after this, so I guess I wasn't overthinking anything and my gut was trying to tell me something 😅. Its been a week now and I'm still picking up the pieces but I've had a lot of realizations that my overthinking and anxiety was due to his lack of conversation or prioritizing me. Much love 💕
I love you 😘💖
i hate being an overthinker. it's really draining and sometimes even leads me to tears only to find out i was making a big deal out of everything and im actually okay. i wish i could be more naive and just stop thinking about those problems so much
man I only looked this up cus I wanna help my girlfriend, she overthinks and gets upset even if it’s bout something so small and she snaps at me but I understand how she feels cus she’s just afraid but I truly do wanna help her overthinking because I know she needs me but thank you so much man, thank you for this video!:)
I hear you and sending both of y’all love to heal. You’re welcome and I hope she also finds some time to self soothe. 😊
Awwwww this is beautiful, you doing this for your relationship is beautiful. I overthink too and I am about to sabotage my relationship.
My now Ex girlfriend was a serious overthinker. I love her with every bit of me but she called it quits. She said it’s too much for her to deal with and that she always analyzes everything about us. The tough part is that I am absolutely in love with her and have tried to get her to understand that. It’s the most helpless and worst feeling ever. I wish everyone struggling the best.
Your a good guy , I wish other ppl were like this to their spouses
Mine brings up every thought in his head and he thinks we move on from it but it just drives me away every time he does it
I’m scared they will do something or have done something behind my back and not ever tell me and that I will never find out
It's hard to put trust in people these days, but if you really love that person and think they really love you too, it's okay to trust them. If something does go on then.. screw them and you deserve better. It's gonna be okay, I believe in you, stranger.
Me too, I'm so terrified that they might say "I'm busy" as an excuse and lose interest in me possibly cheating. But even if it hasn't actually happened, I'm just afraid it would.
That's on them, not you. You can't control them so stop trying
Reassuring an overthinker when your intentions are pure is draining because it makes you feel like they don’t even try to appreciate you. Then you stop
I refuse to date an overthinker again
Overthinking makes me think i am a hard person to be with, i am trying so hard not to make a fuss out of every small detail. But it just won't work
🥺
i am overthinking because i am scared of abandonment . i think she can do better anytime she wants.
Same
My abandonment issues are affecting my current relationship. I’m really going to embrace these methods. I’ve never done them before.
Proud of you for showing up for yourself you got it! Take it step by step
Hey did it work for u?
The " mmmmh?" For the chocolate was so funny 😂😂thank you for that
Hehe
I always end up ruining my relationships because of me constantly overthinking and I’m with someone now that I really care about but I can’t stop with this problem
I do this to all of my relationships. Ugh. I understand completely.
Keep about 90% of your thoughts to yourself or you'll drive her away
"What we resist will persist." Love it!
100%
In my relationship is long distance and I fear that I made the wrong choice but I chose for a reason and I’ve never gave this relationship a shot. I want to stop overthinking because I’m thinking of the what if I did this instead. But it’s mentally exhausting but I know one day I’ll be okay.
When someone over thinks and accuses you of doing something shady but then tells you they trust you and love you and then snap at you for lossing trust...
I came from abusive and toxic relationship , but now that I'm iin a healthy relationship I tend to overthink to much .😢
This vid. Really helped me
This video truly helped me, I’ve found myself overthink literally everything about my relationship (mostly not feeling like I’m getting enough attention) and has caused me to snap into reality and realize that I really was and I was just overthinking it in my head.
I recently got into a serious relationship. Known her for 5 months . Have been dating for 3 weeks. It’s my first ever healthy relationship, and I do have moments where I would get anxiety from past situations and just start overthinking a lot. She always tells me to tell her when I’m overthinking so she can give me reassurance . However, sometimes I don’t want to because I feel like I’m going to bother her if I keep bringing it up. This video has helped me a little and I recently have been able to open up about my overthinking and she has reassured me that she won’t get tired of me constantly overthinking because she also deals with anxiety so she understands me. I don’t want it to be her responsibility though, but I am telling her that I will work on it.
yo yall still dating?
@@Urmomlikesclip no sadly
@@averagejoepesci damn do you mind if I ask what happened
@@Urmomlikesclip if ur curious, the overthinking wasn’t the problem or at least wasn’t the main reason we ended. I would say 90% of it failing was due to poor communication. I can’t fully blame her because there were times where I could’ve worked on it as well. However, there were moments where her communication were at an all time low and it was hard to work with her or though it. She did have a no so good childhood and growing up she didn’t really have a mother figure or the understanding of what maturity or communication was. Constant arguing from her father’s side as well. I knew that she was a bit more complicated to understand but I tried my best. There were times in which she wouldn’t tell me the truth of how she felt or she wouldn’t want to tell me how she felt because in her words, “ I don’t wanna let you know how I feel because you will only do something about because I told you” or “ I don’t want you to worry about me. And not doing so caused us to grow resentment. Additionally, any time we would discuss what we would want in our relationship it felt like I was doing most of the talking. Maybe she didn’t know or didn’t understand what a healthy or mature mindset I had was , and so she would slowly push me away. And then it got to the point where we just got tired of it. And we ultimately decided it wasn’t the time for us. I had said “ i just feel like our conversations feel forced and you aren’t talking to me like im your boyfriend, i feel like just another person.” And she responded, “ yea I just feel like this whole time it was forced because I just wanted to feel what my sister and her bf were feeling .” 🤷🏻♂️ couldn’t do much after that. Yes there are more details to the story but I think in general she just wasn’t ready for a relationship (emotionally and mentally) and jumped the gun too quickly.
Also yes there were moments in which I could’ve done more like go out of my way to do this or say this or ask about this but even then I felt her pushing me away. I would tell people about the things I have already done to improve our relationship and they agreed that I did more than enough. And it gets tiring having to give more off your plate and the other person only gives you crumbs. Overthinking did play a small part in the sense that she would help me out with my overthinking but when she would suddenly fail at communicating it would get worse. I would mention what caused my overthinking and she would recognize the problem and few days later still do it unknowingly. When I would mention what caused it , she wouldn’t take accountability and there were even times where she would get annoyed . She was definitely a good person but just not ready for a relationship. I would say I definitely was more mature and ready but not ready for having to put in more than I give.
My biggest fear is being cheated on or ghosted, of just dump. If the happen I don’t have the mental strength to deal with it.
I've been observing myself thoughts a lot these past two years. During the pandemic , made my relationship with my boyfriend even more difficult than ever. As a result of my observation, I assume that I have got fear of abandonment excessively. I didn't realise it when we were together but the more we are away and didn't get to see each other, I am feeling depressed and very sad and before I knew it I would start being so irritating and annoying to him. I want to get rid of these insecurities because it is really ruin my mental health and my relationship. sometimes I think I am crazy. I need help and found your videos are awesome and helpful. I want to learn more about this. Thank you so much.
I hear you and Thank you for sharing and being vulnerable + transparent about your situation. There is a lot of unpredictability and chaos during the time of the pandemic so I understand. I’m glad you were able to utilize that time to reflect and work on healing. If you’re looking for more guidance and healing don’t hesitate to reach out on Instagram. Sending you much love to heal and as always you got this
I have the same issue.
Distance just makes things worse for me. I became too controlling, fighting and being rude everytime my partner leaves his place with his friends or family. I keep thinking the worse case if I get late replies, lack of reassurance and time. Its more than 2yrs n idk how to stop. My partner is tired too. We’re trying to fix things and I really hope I do it right.
@@tasha0 im in the same thing right now, shes at college 6 hours away and im having so much trouble letting my gaurd down and she walks through it all with me but i just cant control it sometimes, ive been hurt so many times.. i want to stop being like this i dont to lose her.
@@dontbrandme9803 this feeling just sucks right. Like we are aware how wrong we are yet cant make it stop. Keep watching videos. Try to understand things and talk it out. I still didn’t fix myself but I’m trying. I can say I’m getting a lil better but sometimes I mess it up again. Hope u do things right ❤️
@@tasha0 i think the worst part is no matter how much they say "i wont give up" i feel like im slowly changing that answer they give me with my insecurities.
Its really hard , i know what your going through, you could have such a great day with them and one little thing can change it completely, i sometimes find myself looking for a reason for it to go wrong, its very unhealthy and im sure we both know this, but i think as long as we talk it out them them and dont overwhelm them by accusing but more so explaining how we feel, they will offer reassurance. Distance is the worst of all, but its not impossible. Just remember what we go through may be relatable but its not the same as others completely.
This has helped me a lot I’m currently in a relationship with a beautiful girl and I’m stressed that she’s going to leave me because I’m not good enough and that she can find someone better and that she gets a lot of attention from other men but when I overthink I forget how reassuring she is and that she has already proven that she’s capable of shutting down any attempt of getting hit on
Good to know I'm not the only dude going through this.
I was overthinking about my gf falling asleep at 7pm and then getting back to me late at night. Felt like she was being sneaky but understood it was overthinking most likely. Definitely looking for help and advice
i cant even explain how much this video has helped me, i have been struggling with severe anxiety and overthinking since i was 9 (i am 19 now) and i feel like no one really explained this to me like how to stop overthinking the way you did so thank you. This video also helped me find out why i started overthinking and kinda where it started in the first place really helpful stuff
I've been overthinking these past few days then I saw this on tiktok and now here i am and thank you for this because it really helped me a lot! 🥺❤
You’re welcome Krysta! YAY I’m glad it helped 🥰 sending you lots of love to heal
Thank you so much for this video. I've been with my partner for a year and months now but I've come to an awareness that I have a problem of over controlling everything about our relationship including my partner. However I'm also coming to deep realizations that I should just let things flow and not be ahead of myself. If it's meant to be it will survive all tests and trials and if not then one surely moves on with life. When you love something or someone, give space for freedom. Everything is about freedom.
This is very helpful. Im just now understanding that i am an extreme over thinker . This video is insightful and helpful for my journey and healing journey.
I’m so happy this video helped! Sending you much love on your healing journey. Ps .. if you’re looking for more guidance I just hosting a live webinar going over my step by step formula on how to start healing your attachment style. Would you like me to send over a link to watch the replay?
I have abandonment issues from adolescence. In my my romantic relationships the girl have always left of switched up. I thought I healed but sometime we don’t know what’s there until it presents itself in a relationship
I feel attacked 😂. But at the same time makes me feel more at ease knowing I need to control my self whenever my mind starts to go in overload
Thank you for this video. I really needed this. I'm an over thinker because of past trauma & heartbreak. But I don't want it to ruin my relationship. Certain things I see trigger it but I have to learn that I can control what other do. I can only control what I do and how I respond. Thank you for helping me see other things to shift my focus to. Every day is a challenge but I get through it.
My girlfriend and I have been dating for about 5 months and after the 3 month mark I started overthinking about things that I knew were true like when she goes out with friends and I would think why isn’t she texting me. To the point where I would have some resentment towards her. She eventually brought it out of me and with me breaking down she comforted me. She told me that she’ll never do anything to hurt me and I was her rock and that made me feel good. When I have a gut feeling about something it’s usually true but for once it’s been a good gut feeling. She really holds me and keeps me from getting into the anxiety phases. The amount of love I have for this is unbelievable 🙂
So I’m not the only one who suffers from that exact type of gut feelings? Man, knowing that the worst part is that it may be due to something that’s true cause it has proven to be that way is what makes all this overthinking and anxiety even worse. Like some sorta curse for all the damage it makes, but kinda helpful because of its veracity. But getting to know if it’s not a result of an excessive overthinking and compulsive emotionalism, that’s the real deal.
Yes I'm overthinking to protect myself 🥺🥺🥺
I overthink a lot too. Just yesterday I fought with my ldr partner. She's the sweetest, she gives me time, attention, care and love. I know she puts in a lot of effort. But right now, cause of some issues (too long to get into) , I keep overthinking and doubting everything. I need help badly.
Omfg.. I am the exact same. I’ve been with this girl for 11 months now (long distance 5 hours) exact same the most sweetest, loving , caring not one bad thing to say but with some issues I’m the same my heads honestly gone through hell for 11 months and I’m still here at the same point over thinking and if she’s lying. I don’t think I can deal with this anymore I also have Tourette’s/ADHD/OCD I really don’t wanna leave her but I feel like if I stay my head is gonna blow up and destroying my whole life 24/7
Anyone gone through the same thing and got advice or could help?
@@harrisonburrell01 1 year late but Im going trough the same and its been only 2 months (ldr) and a week for me, I could say the same of her but I always keep overthinking everything, every action and every word, she is still friends with her ex and talks with him everydays, she atleast tells me whats going on but she says he is just a friend (like everyone says) but I dont think I can hold on for longer tho.
You are very well spoken. It was easy for me to listen to this without my mind wandering. Thank you for this content
@@malenaann27 you’re so welcome and thank you!! Glad my videos help
My god is needed this. Best video yet!!
Thank you. This is both something I see in myself and my boyfriend in different ways.
@@Derpshoota take time to heal I’m glad this videos helped
I find that assuming the worst comes from a deep rooted fear of that assumption already happening. How do we face that fear so that we don't have such a tight grip on it so I can stop assuming it to be true before it even happens?
I've been struggling lately; luckily I found this video. Thanks for the advice, Janette!
Your voice is so soothing.Thank you for the video and greeting from Romania :D
You very much made me think about my overthinking a lot! I just want to be better for my current girlfriend & make a healthy Realtionship🥺
I’d like to say thank you, and I’ll continuously visit this video, I’m in a relationship and we decided to be friends until I’m better, I love her a lot and will do anything for her❤️
You got this
Helpful
I Never have Negative Energy
Before
I’ve been overthinking recently about this one girl that makes me happy, but her baby daddy just randomly messaged her and wanted to get together again if ykyk, so that sent me down the rabbit hole of over thinking, and to make it worse she spent the last 4 days at his house, I’ve been paranoid since…
man i hope you left that and find someone that’s all about you!
Thanks for the advices! Self love and remember to live in the moment really helps ❤
Wow super helpful ! Thank you for sharing 🙏🏾 I’ve done a lot of mindfulness practices but that 5 , 4 , 3 , 2 , 1 technique is gold ! 💕
This video really helped a friend of mine. He has watched other videos but the advice in this video made more sense. That's what he told me anyway.
Thank you so much! I can relate to everything you said in this video and it made me feel so much better knowing that I’m not alone and that other people are or have felt the same way I am
You're so welcome! yes youre not alone. I'm glad it helped :)
As a taurus I overthink and jealous a lot but as i grew older i managed to control it a bit.
I love my overthinking mind, it helps me caught my partner from cheating, and it caught my partner several times doing things behind my back that they shouldn't be doing, and it also raise awareness of what my partner's next move wil lgoing to be. It's a 6th sense, a blessing
when you caught your partner did you clearly see evidence and did he deny? I’m struggling on believing a situation that supposedly didn’t involve my partner and I’m having a hard time moving on and believing that he wasn’t doing things he wasn’t supposed to be doing.
Hi! No other words, but thank you. ❤
Thank you so much for these exercises. I literally started doing them as you were explaining and it definitely calmed me down. Thank you
It definitely helping me out but I still need some work and some areas I'm just getting in a friendship with a woman and I I overthink about her a lot but since I've been watching this video I'm trying to stop over think of her and it is helping but I still need some work and some other areas
i literally overthink and it actually came true so overthinking is true sometimes fore
You’re absolutely amazing this video was great.
Thing is...I think some of those are valid, because I am always afraid I will hurt the other person
I mean, when it comes to sadism, not really a fan
Thank you for this. Changed my mindset completely. You’re a gem,stay safe love ❤️
I got used alot in life i used to get stabbed i was so scared to love again but sometimes the overthinking comes to me and I start to hate the way that I did this and start to cry cause I think that I’m not good enough or he hates me or he won’t love me no more I wanted to stop overthinking , and I finally know how to stop it thanks to u w out u i couldn’t been able to be this happy again and to heal my boyfriend again thank u alotttt ❤️
I've gotten in my first real high school relationship with someone I really love and my past if making me overthink and cause me to think she is losing interest in me and starting to make me overthink your videos are helping me realize that if I dont stop it could end badly so think you for this
Thank you soo much for your videos!! ❤️
In my case I have dated my boyfriend for nearly a month now and I overthink that I am going to ruin it. I have never been in a relationship before, he was my first kiss and so on. So now I am thinking "what if I just like the attention?" And other things like that, when I know deep down that I love him and that I have never felt this way before. It is just so hard to deal with because it affects our relationship because I tell him my overthinking about us, so he starts to overthink our relationship. I hope that these feelings of ruining our relationship is going to disapear after some time, that it is just in the begining when everything is new. Thanks for the video❤
Thank you for sharing! I’m sending you so much love girl
I’m In the same position however I’m a boy who’s been with my girl for a month n so and now I’m overthinking that I’m going to leave it.
R u still with hom
@@Rohan-pf4vv Yes!! I love him so so much I can’t even explain it. I my case my feelings of really being in love came later for me than for him, so just wait. The feelings I explained earlier and the overthinking is now gone! Sometimes it can come, but I don’t think too much about it because I know it is just my brain playing games hahah! I hope it goes well with you and your girlfriend!!
@@hilma1824 thank you!
This really helped me realize why have felt the way I do for so long
idk what to do, im in a healthy relationship but my last one was so unhealthy. i find myself checking their reposts every minute of the day, seeing when there active constantly monitoring them to make sure everything’s okay. it’s so draining and i constantly crave any affection i feel like i need it to feel okay
I'm not nuts! We're all thinking this way...maybe I'm a lil nuts but anyway...i had no idea others are experiencing these feelings too
My ex wife cheated on me after 20 years... then again... and again.... so I filed for a divorce. 4 years later I'm in a new and serious relationship and I realized I'm still scarred from my ex.... I just needed confidence and had to think that it's her loss if something's happens. Now my ex is begging me back and I get to tell her no.
I hate that im such an overthinker cause im also causing my bf to stress and i really dont like that. Im trying to change so i can give a much easier and calmer life to him cause he has his education to worry about aswell i hope that in the future i will stop overthinking
My bf just started driving and I feel like now that he has that he’s gonna shut me out and that’s another way that he could talk to other girls without me finding out…Ifykyk
I ruined my relationship with her because of constant overthinking , i now want to remove my overthinking habits , so i can now live in peace without worrying about her too much
Man , I miss her a lot , We had fun together and we argue each other yet , We still love each other but now today , She is not here
I overthink a lot of things too but you are right maybe I should take time to focus on myself
I’m gonna give it a chance
@@Lexlex11848 sending you much love
Awesome video thank you so much, you received my like!
Thank you for your support and glad it helped !
I stopped dating at 18 I've dated 6 girls in my past. I'm 28 now and all I been focusing is on working out my mental and physical health I'm an introvert myself and struggling having a hard time finding the right woman in my hometown. And I'm always overthrowing about getting rejected immediately. I need advice on how to overcome this fear and stop worrying about starting a conversation with a woman I like I see girls at my gym but afraid to talk to them cause I don't wanna bother them in their workout or if their with their boyfriends so I keep to myself even when I go to stores I see women by themselves and not doing anything I'm really struggling how to approach with out looking like a fool. Any piece of advice is very helpful.
I really needed this 🙏 thank you ❤
You’re so welcome! I’m happy I could help
Thank you. I had my first ever girlfriend months ago that really messed with my head and we broke up only because I wasn't showing potential because I was thinking the worst-case scenario and I was overthinking. Now I am in a new relationship and I can finally breathe and live up to my full potential thank you!
you're so welcome! im happy to hear you can live up to your potential. sending you so much love to heal
i am so guilty of that ....we are our own worst enemies lol
My GF and I have made the decision to take it slow after some events have happened and all I do now is overthink everything and over analyze every text….. I hate this feeling it’s so uncomfortable
Thank you so much, I really like this girlfriend and need to stop overthinking to stay with her. Hopefully some of this works.
Edit: She left me
are you okay now?
@@nkagi Yeh, I have actually gotten alot better tbh. I have a new gf and things have been going very well thanks. Hope your having a nice day
Really needed this :( thankyou so much for making this video!!❤️
I’m so happy it came at the right time! Sending you love to heal
honestly i overthink because in my past relationships i cheated a lot so now that im in a new healthy one i assume that they are gonna do what i did
Really enjoying these videos so far! Looking forward to more, thank you : )
You're Welcome and Thank you Rebecca! Grateful for your support :)
This is very helpful!! Thank you!
Super helpful. Thank you!
What happens when you can’t stop over thinking? I can’t stop these negative thoughts. It’s like every second something pops up
This was great, thank you :)
I get frustrated because I overthink,and she tells me to stop that,but i seriously can't do it,and i fear one day she might leave me cuz of it
Thank you so very much this really helps
we’re broken up currently, and we’re trying to wait for eachother and she seems to be doing just fine and that worries me because i think i’m going to be disposed of because i really don’t want to lose this girl, i want to have a future withxher but i’m just scared i won’t be enough for her, i also just miss having her and i miss texting her everyday and it hurts me knowing i cant right now, and i’m scared i won’t heal for her and we won’t work out
I overthink every little thing when my bf smiles in a game i think he is playing with a girl and that he would leave me im so scared that he leaves me but that fear is only leading him to it
Thank you so much needed this hear this
i reached out for help from my girlfriend, and now my fears have come true because she doesnt want me to tall to her bc “im not her therapist” and now she wants a break i dont know what to do i feel like im in a hole i cant escape
it’s like your brain is on hyperdrive to find anything that might hurt you to the point where it’ll make up scenarios that it Hass to protect you from! Like I overthink everything everything even my girlfriend says you gotta stop overthinking everything if she doesn’t say goodbye to me I’m like what the fuck if she says K instead of OK I think about that I’m just so tired of overthinking!
Same brother
Sometimes i feel like my overthingking is a burden in my relationship . I feel bad about a lotta things even tho its not my fault 💔
Thanks for the video. It's really helpful.
Here for you! Glad it helped Zarin :)
Thank you so
Much!
You’re welcome!
You really helped me thank you!
Found you through tik tok, I love your approach to this topic it really caught my attention and made me click onto your youtube! This is so relatable and straight to the point! Keep up the great work👏🏼
Welcome from TikTok! I’m glad my approach resonated and thank you for your support. Sending you much love to heal ❤️
Im just scared that what im overthinking actually happened without me knowing it
i am so glad i get this video it is really eating me up
Sending you much love to heal
Im still overthinking while watching this and im not joking
Thanks for this video.
I have mad anxiety and now am here thinking the worse
Sending you love 😭 you’re not alone
thank you. i have never been through so much trauma before
@@JanetteZeto
Thank you I will try this today