it took me 35 years to learn what I'll teach you in 18 minutes

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  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 19 ม.ค. 2025

ความคิดเห็น • 318

  • @Roni5
    @Roni5 หลายเดือนก่อน +265

    "Everyone you meet always asks if you have a career, are married or own a house; as if life was some kind of grocery list. But nobody ever asks if you are happy." - Heath Ledger. Rest in peace, Heath.

    • @TacticsTechniquesandProcedures
      @TacticsTechniquesandProcedures หลายเดือนก่อน +8

      Spending the worst times of my life with others who could help me (support structure) has been easier than fighting the fight alone.

    • @JayWallace
      @JayWallace  หลายเดือนก่อน +13

      Massively agree. The men's group I go to has been life-changing for me and I've seen guys come in and transform over the months.

    • @outlander234
      @outlander234 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      Never heard this but always thought the same. Its like society avoids the happiness question at all costs because you can have all those things but in a bad way. Dont get me wrong those things can truly make and do make people happy. A loving family, spuse, a nice home but for many they might jist posses those things yet not really like their spouse or where they live or what they do so in that sense the question is empty.

    • @johngonzo9671
      @johngonzo9671 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Powerful words!

    • @kingjoseph5901
      @kingjoseph5901 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      The societal trap

  • @TheScottishDad
    @TheScottishDad หลายเดือนก่อน +83

    Your idea of the dream board is essentially positioning 'happiness' to a future date. The key is to realise there is so much already right here to be grateful for.

    • @JayWallace
      @JayWallace  หลายเดือนก่อน +5

      Yeah exactly my point, you're putting off your happiness for when X, Y, Z happens

    • @alanyoung9200
      @alanyoung9200 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      Interested in your men’s group,feel I need something like this , More information please .? Am in Scotland

    • @JayWallace
      @JayWallace  หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      @@alanyoung9200 I go to one called Andy's Man Club or AMC for short. You can go on their website to see if there is one local to you. If not, they also run an online group as well.
      Otherwise, just google "men's group (your area)" and see what's available.

    • @anon5863
      @anon5863 หลายเดือนก่อน

      This is so so true

  • @jeffbrunswick5511
    @jeffbrunswick5511 หลายเดือนก่อน +33

    I've met so many people that live their lives for a retirement that may never come or a retirement that may ultimately be very disappointing. Time and especially your youth, are arguably the two most important commodities you will ever have.

    • @JayWallace
      @JayWallace  หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      Exactly, I made a video recently about wasting time, check it out if you have the time

  • @jonathanhowson6420
    @jonathanhowson6420 หลายเดือนก่อน +53

    I am 37 and left the corporate world to start my own business and develop property on the side. Listening to this while I am sanding down and painting the metal frame of a trailer as part of that. I said in my head ‘it’s not the destination it’s the journey’ and ‘find joy in the moment and the now’ before you said it. I’m so much happier

    • @JayWallace
      @JayWallace  หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      That's so awesome man, love to hear what people are up to when they're watching and how it's affected them. Sounds like you're on an exciting journey

    • @Thomas_2615
      @Thomas_2615 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Good luck!

    • @davecopp9356
      @davecopp9356 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Good luck from me too. I wish you to succeed.

    • @kingjoseph5901
      @kingjoseph5901 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Hell yeah man! Best of wishes to you on your journey. Enjoy every moment. I'm also 37 and realized I dont want to have a career, I'd like to live more simple and have more time for hobbies and finding other things that I love. I've already given up a lot but I feel more free! Keeping up with Jones's just wasn't for me. We've all got our own path, forward is the only way. Enjoy the ride brother!!

    • @jonathanhowson6420
      @jonathanhowson6420 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @ I have had quite a few jobs and Know where I do the best and so after taking years to learn this, I can now hopefully take full advantage and play to my greatest strengths.

  • @riccia888
    @riccia888 หลายเดือนก่อน +56

    Always celebrate the small things everyday. Life is very short. Don’t wait the big big achievements

    • @JayWallace
      @JayWallace  หลายเดือนก่อน +9

      Gratitude is one of those things that can be hard to practice sometimes but always has the biggest payoffs

  • @KJ-pu8dw
    @KJ-pu8dw 8 วันที่ผ่านมา +2

    What i like about this channel is that it is not some guy standing on top of the mountain of life shouting down at everyone how to get to the top.
    It is a guy who is still in the trenches with everyone else and figuring things out as he goes.

  • @DahliafromAppalachia
    @DahliafromAppalachia หลายเดือนก่อน +49

    The constant change is the best part about life. I’ve worked as a model, tattoo artist, resale, nonprofit work, I’ve been a working artist since I was 14, and because it still makes me the happiest, I continue to do it. When one part of your life isn’t making you happy, change it. It’s a great opportunity for better things to come! The goal is to always keep improving in the main areas (physical fitness, mental wellness, education, religion/spirituality, finance) even if it’s just by a little bit at a time, it’ll lead you somewhere bigger. Appreciate your videos.

    • @Tackyauto
      @Tackyauto หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      I agree - The ability to change isn't always easy but nothing worth doing is. You keep driving until you can't anymore.

    • @JayWallace
      @JayWallace  หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      That's awesome to hear, you've done nearly as many jobs as I have :) Think it's important that people start learning that it's OK not to know and even the people that seem to have it all figured out are usually just better at pretending.

    • @DahliafromAppalachia
      @DahliafromAppalachia หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@JayWallace nobody ever has it 100% figured out. Pretending indeed.

    • @dronetheworld4k67
      @dronetheworld4k67 หลายเดือนก่อน

      I worked as an it guy for 7 years and it totally mad me miserable, until I found my passion in photography and quited it for good, a bit too late at age of 36, but late is better than never

    • @DahliafromAppalachia
      @DahliafromAppalachia หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      @ 36 is still young!!! Go for it!! Grandma Moses didn’t even start painting until she was 78!!

  • @MarcusAurelius2020
    @MarcusAurelius2020 หลายเดือนก่อน +56

    Almost nothing material is needed for a happy life, for he who has understood existence.
    ~Marcus Aurelius (121 - 180)

    • @cheaplaughkennedy2318
      @cheaplaughkennedy2318 หลายเดือนก่อน

      👍

    • @kingjoseph5901
      @kingjoseph5901 หลายเดือนก่อน

      I used to keep up with the joneses until I realized these material things were drowning me.

    • @tumslucks9781
      @tumslucks9781 หลายเดือนก่อน

      The richest most powerful man in the Roman Empire had no need for material luxury. Did he resign and live modestly?
      No he didn't.

  • @rockin-roman
    @rockin-roman หลายเดือนก่อน +13

    Chasing happiness is futile. My favorite philosopher Arthur Shopenhauer said: "There is only one inborn error, and that is the notion that we exist in order to be happy". As a consequence, focusing on minimizing future pain and trying to make each day as bearable as possible for yourself and those around you is the best you can hope for.

  • @leonvanderlinden6929
    @leonvanderlinden6929 หลายเดือนก่อน +14

    I used to think like that aswell.
    Did everything everybody does. Brought me a burnout at 29. I had to shake off everything incl wife and house to survive. I am still here, my son still has his father.
    I now live alone. Have a steady job and exercise regularly. Try to not think about my age. Turning 42 end of the month. Trying to make live worth while every day.
    Live for yourself not for others.

    • @JayWallace
      @JayWallace  หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      That's awesome man, takes a lot of courage to face up to things not being right and making a change. Everything will come good for you so long as you keep following your intuition and building a life that feels right for you

    • @MrMarcy76
      @MrMarcy76 17 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

      I’m 49 this year. Don’t worry about getting older, it’s how you feel.

  • @kyrescot
    @kyrescot หลายเดือนก่อน +13

    He's not angry about being lied to. He's angry because he fell for it.
    But we all fell for it, the tricky part comes when you ask yourself "what now" and your mind can't quite come up with an answer.

  • @markghammartist
    @markghammartist 17 วันที่ผ่านมา +2

    one thing I allways say to myself is, if im not happy right now with my life, then I never will be. the time of your life is allways right now, no matter how bad it may seem. for me my happiness comes when im not thinking. its the mind that creates unhappiness not your life circumstance. great video!

  • @Bacrenfencing
    @Bacrenfencing หลายเดือนก่อน +6

    Very true, In the past, I spent 2 years getting out of over 40k of consumer debt - it was a huge goal of mine. Once I achieved it, I kind of felt empty inside. The truth is, I was enjoying the journey so much, that when it was over, it really sucked. I felt as if I needed to get myself back in huge amounts of debt to get back on the journey if that makes sense...........this is where SELF SABOTAGE comes into it.

    • @JayWallace
      @JayWallace  หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      Had a really similar situation with credit card debt as well. The day I was debt-free was so anti-climactic

    • @kingjoseph5901
      @kingjoseph5901 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Consumerism is a trap all around

  • @a.d.d.4233
    @a.d.d.4233 หลายเดือนก่อน +21

    The crazy thing is: When you are 15 or 16 and get out of school, society expects that you will now find a Job that you will like your entire life. I was a metalworker for 12 years & recently i finished a new education as a social worker. The educatin system needs to spend more time & money on teaching what different jobs exist & what the requirements for these jobs are.

    • @JayWallace
      @JayWallace  หลายเดือนก่อน +6

      Yeah, seems like the UK in particular are pretty bad at giving any kind of career guidance. Guys end up in jobs they hate, buy themselves stuff on finance to make themselves feel better and then become trapped in that job paying for all that shit. It's a dangerous cycle.
      Congrats on making the career change, I bet you'll feel a real sense of accomplishment from a job like that.

    • @SS-ce1py
      @SS-ce1py หลายเดือนก่อน

      the education system is not designed to make you a balanced happy individual. Its is designed to provide a cheap source of skilled labor for whichever industry is seen as important at the moment.

    • @NewMinority
      @NewMinority หลายเดือนก่อน

      State school is the enemy! Teach your kids at home. Teach them how to make money! Not how to make money for corporations

  • @intervenTion360zZz
    @intervenTion360zZz หลายเดือนก่อน +10

    Spreading the wisdom to YT and to men’s group. Right on mate, you are a force for good keep going!

    • @JayWallace
      @JayWallace  หลายเดือนก่อน

      Cheers brother, appreciate it!

  • @MachMy-n6v
    @MachMy-n6v 12 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา

    Thank you for giving me the advice. I am basically the same person as the 'sad guy' and what you said made complete sense. I really need to change my thinking. I have been looking for that 'purpose' and been very confused as to what i want in life and being unhappy despite doing okay. You are so right now I think about it. Hopefully, i will make some progresses.

  • @jeremylst1421
    @jeremylst1421 หลายเดือนก่อน +9

    "The worst thing that can happen to a man, is to see all his dreams fullfilled."- someone🤔

    • @nobertstanel9428
      @nobertstanel9428 หลายเดือนก่อน

      This is what happens to the rich kids, drugs follow next and then, - ,, end of the story ''.
      Other than that, chased a major goal for 6 years, very hard last 2 years, books, working overtime, saving 60%-90%% of income.
      Finally goal was achieved and... I was wrong in one area and despite of having more money than i ever had, a year passed and a scary episode happened while walking alone ,,What i am suppose to do now ... ? Was wrong and what happens now ?''.
      Two years since that day, chasing new goals, again, - happy.

  • @Jetdale200Canalhouse20
    @Jetdale200Canalhouse20 หลายเดือนก่อน +21

    you need something to do......someone to love.....something to look forward to

    • @JayWallace
      @JayWallace  หลายเดือนก่อน +5

      What you're doing now, who you're doing it with and where you're going.

    • @nelsonhibbert5267
      @nelsonhibbert5267 หลายเดือนก่อน +7

      Table tennis, my pet Gerbil "Gonad", Christmas.

    • @kingjoseph5901
      @kingjoseph5901 หลายเดือนก่อน

      I'm doing my passion, loving myself, and looking forward to my adventures

    • @Grufflehog
      @Grufflehog หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Basically a purpose then

    • @Jetdale200Canalhouse20
      @Jetdale200Canalhouse20 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@Grufflehog yes and a passion

  • @arandomtrip8082
    @arandomtrip8082 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    This video found me for a reason i been a chef for almost 17 years now and i hit a point in my life that i ask myself how this is not giving me the freedom and happiness i use to feel and at what age am i going to continue to work like a slave and being disrespected and hated in a egotistic environment ! I been feeling in my gut i need a change of job forget career just something that could financially and spiritually help me in my life! The kitchen world is not how its painted it sucks i needed to hear this !

    • @JayWallace
      @JayWallace  หลายเดือนก่อน

      Thanks, I'm glad it was helpful and got you thinking.

  • @tonye4382
    @tonye4382 13 วันที่ผ่านมา

    This video alone has helped me more than some of my previous therapy sessions. I could definitely relate to this idea of thinking that when X occurs I will feel satisfied and it will ease my anxiety. I will focus more on being my authentic self and stop chasing this unattainable feeling of contentedness that will just "magically" appear once I do X. Thank you so much for being so insightful and sharing it with the world!

  • @KJ-pu8dw
    @KJ-pu8dw 8 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

    With morgage/rent and bills to pay. Keep a car on the road, good food and for me regular weight lifting. How does someone keep shifting from job to start up business, to job and repeat.
    The cost of failing with no finacial back up can be devastating.
    Let alone if you have kids.

  • @ianmoseley2475
    @ianmoseley2475 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

    I love this video so much!! All of this resonates deeply. Thank you for making this video.

    • @JayWallace
      @JayWallace  หลายเดือนก่อน

      You're most welcome, thanks for investing your time in me.

  • @eric271ful
    @eric271ful 16 วันที่ผ่านมา

    It is a massive relief. Thank you for posting this video. Very helpful. I’m definitely subscribing to your channel.

  • @King_of_Sofa
    @King_of_Sofa 23 วันที่ผ่านมา +2

    I can't honestly say I found fulfillment. But I have contentment. Low stress and a stable mind space is good enough for me. And I think this settling for it is exactly what reinforces the peace

    • @MrMarcy76
      @MrMarcy76 17 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

      That’s why I never pursued any type of profession like Law, accounting, or anything that requires lots of mundane and stressful work.

  • @Thomas_2615
    @Thomas_2615 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    You're right, there's always something else you can do or another door that opens when one closes, but the key is to truly know that deep within and to experience a certain sense of peace.
    It's only truly over when you're no longer here until then, anything is possible.

    • @JayWallace
      @JayWallace  หลายเดือนก่อน

      Anything is possible, so true.

  • @welshhibby
    @welshhibby หลายเดือนก่อน +9

    The constant pushing of “self improvement” doesn’t help. Happiness is a choice not a process or outcome.

    • @tvhead7074
      @tvhead7074 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Self improvement helped me and it absolutely is a process and outcome. I think it largely depends on the individual.

  • @matthewhamilton9736
    @matthewhamilton9736 19 วันที่ผ่านมา +2

    @17:25 "Don't worry about finding your purpose, just follow your curiosities".

  • @jonass961
    @jonass961 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

    Good to hear from you and very true points as always. I think many of us have fallen victim to this mentality, myself included. Apart from focussing more on the journey, I also like to remind myself of the important things I often take for granted, like safety, a roof over my head, food on the table and the health of my friends and family.

    • @JayWallace
      @JayWallace  หลายเดือนก่อน

      It's hard not to fall into the trap when it's what we hear all the time from friends and family.
      Spot on about appreciation as well. Not sure if you've heard of Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs but want to do a series on this too - in the western world most of us have easy access to the essentials for life and it's so easy to take that for granted.

  • @waykiwayki
    @waykiwayki หลายเดือนก่อน +7

    Happiness is only fleeting spikes.....avoiding sorrow is the game in town :)

    • @JayWallace
      @JayWallace  หลายเดือนก่อน

      Interesting idea

  • @Tryagain205
    @Tryagain205 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    Secret to happiness:
    Happiness is achieved only while simultaneously being grateful.
    You can be grateful for owning a new Mercedes…or not.
    You can be grateful that you have both of your legs…or not.
    It’s a choice.
    You make that choice every second of every day whether you’re aware of it-that’s the difference.
    List 10 things you’re grateful for every morning.
    Be thankful-another form of gratefulness-for the food you’re about to eat.
    Being grateful allows your body to create dopamine; when a soccer player scores a goal the people watching cheer and put their hands up in the air and hug each other but they didn’t gain anything material whatsoever-they are simply grateful for the effort of scoring that goal.

  • @grandiosa86
    @grandiosa86 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    Spot on with this! I learned this quite some years ago with my music creation. The end result may be good and it will make me feel proud of my work, but it is the smaller pieces I found that fits in the melody that gives me the happiness. These doesn't grow on trees, and they are based on both luck and determination - but is badly needed for my melodies to actually have good enough content.
    And the answer to this is simple: It is because it is through the journey we do most of the learning. Learning something new is prieceless as long as you enjoy what you are doing.

    • @JayWallace
      @JayWallace  หลายเดือนก่อน

      Exactly, love how you can apply this to your work in music as well. Thanks for sharing

  • @Deripass
    @Deripass หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    I really thought about it today and now I'm watching YOUR video! It's great !!

    • @JayWallace
      @JayWallace  หลายเดือนก่อน

      On the same wavelength :)

  • @felipesilveira2316
    @felipesilveira2316 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    " im doing thing that feel rignt to me " this is the quote i set up for me, idk why but this video appear in the right time for me.. im 22 years old and want used to be a creator videos and stuffs i had a little shy at first time though, but realize How important that mention is so important, thanks for your advices i dont give a damn and wil l started it 💯💯

  • @MarionDawe
    @MarionDawe หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    liking the chilled car talks hust as good as a million pound production as the info is the gold

    • @JayWallace
      @JayWallace  หลายเดือนก่อน

      Thanks, I appreciate that

  • @Quato369
    @Quato369 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    You may be an empath, or may not, but since you mentioned intuition and it seem you enjoy making other people feel better... but keep in mind, not everybody is like you. It took me my whole life to realize this simple fact. A material coin might be better to save, but a coin of the soul is wasted if not shared.

    • @JayWallace
      @JayWallace  หลายเดือนก่อน

      I think I operated under that assumption for a very long time before I realized that everyone sees the world in a different way and we''re all just doing our best to work it out.

  • @ToiletPlugger
    @ToiletPlugger หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    The irony of all of this, is many of us are struggling. Even if we have "made it". The standard is hard to keep up. I wish we'd all just drop the pretense and be nicer to each other.

  • @bhantekovida6039
    @bhantekovida6039 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    Very good reflection, Jay. If you intentionally seek happiness due to certain conditions, you will constantly be disappointed and frustrated. Contentment is different. You are getting wiser for sure, mate. Cheers.

    • @JayWallace
      @JayWallace  หลายเดือนก่อน

      Ah thanks Bhante, great to hear from you again. I did send you a message on FB (I think)

  • @aidanbrady2449
    @aidanbrady2449 หลายเดือนก่อน +8

    Life is a journey not a Destination

    • @harrying882
      @harrying882 หลายเดือนก่อน

      I not quite sure who’s the stupidest you are him.

    • @junglejarred6366
      @junglejarred6366 หลายเดือนก่อน

      That's so clever. Never heard it before

  • @valfin1710
    @valfin1710 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

    There is success and there is progress. And happiness is found in progress. Progress is in spirituality: prayer and meditation, yoga. But it also takes time. And it is also in the process of spiritual development that you have a taste of happiness, bliss. The ultimate bliss in found in the ultimate level: sat-chit-ananda.

    • @JayWallace
      @JayWallace  หลายเดือนก่อน

      Thank you for sharing

    • @DougRigsby-tf2xw
      @DougRigsby-tf2xw หลายเดือนก่อน

      Progress is a great concept in order to maintain a level of satisfaction. Stagnation kills the mind, the soul and the body.

  • @noisyneighbourz
    @noisyneighbourz หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    very profound, this is the thing, you choose to be happy

  • @AaronleeEdmunds
    @AaronleeEdmunds 14 วันที่ผ่านมา

    I really enjoy your videos, very insightful and relatable as a male of a similar age.

  • @philipmclaughlin8428
    @philipmclaughlin8428 หลายเดือนก่อน +15

    "Happiness "is an illusion. Happiness and contentment are two different things.

    • @JayWallace
      @JayWallace  หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      Well said. I do think we can find what we would label "happiness" in the pursuit of our goals

    • @opticalman6417
      @opticalman6417 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      inner peace and joy is are natural state of being how ever people are living there life from the outside in not the inside out
      so they rob them self of it

  • @milanpenk9537
    @milanpenk9537 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    For over ten years I was jobless. I'd rather take the hate from people than doing what I didn't want to do. It was painful because nobody would understand - they'd call me slacker, freeloader, curse at me. But I just knew I couldn't betray that deep down feeling that I needed to take time to figure this out. Long story short, I found my first job that made sense to me and paid well at age 36. Things started to fall into place since. Started a family, saved money, got fit, now taking steps to start my own business. Don't ever betray that urge you carry deep down that it's your life and that you need to take your time to figure things out. Do it. All the best, fellow fighters.

    • @JayWallace
      @JayWallace  หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      That's an awesome story, thanks for sharing. I've felt a lot of pressure over the years to be a certain way and lately, I've been questioning why I've been listening.
      Thanks for sharing the story, needed to hear that.

  • @1dancier
    @1dancier หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    I've had lots of jobs that I've liked, but eventually get bored and move on. Being a Teacher was probably the best job I've had because it allowed me to travel the world during the school holidays. Took a package and spent a year cycle touring. When i got back I thought I wouldn't find employment because of my age but got a job as a Postman in OZ and don't mind it. It's the second longest job I've had, but will retire soon.

    • @JayWallace
      @JayWallace  หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Just taken some temp work as a postie too! Actually quite enjoyed running around, giving everyone parcels this time of year, like a budget santa clause

  • @HunkumSpunkum
    @HunkumSpunkum หลายเดือนก่อน +5

    If you're struggling, you've got to have a happy home life with a good family and feel that everyone's 'in it together'. If not, then well.....😢

    • @JayWallace
      @JayWallace  หลายเดือนก่อน

      Agree to an extent. I think you can be happy on your own too and would argue that you're better that way than having anyone around you that doesn't support your goals. Thanks for the comment

    • @joannedibben2352
      @joannedibben2352 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Not everyone is lucky enough to have a supportive family.i say like yourself support yourself and find joy in all small achievements blessings to you🌈

  • @StephenHopkinsVaults
    @StephenHopkinsVaults หลายเดือนก่อน +5

    I’m 36 and absolutely lost in life, I still live with parents would love to have is place, I got no friends, no skills no social skills . Don’t think anybody can be as low as me rock bottom is home 🏠

    • @JayWallace
      @JayWallace  หลายเดือนก่อน +7

      I think you'd actually be surprised how many guys are the in the same position as you, they're just not boasting about it on social media. You would be amazed at how much progress you can make when you stop comparing yourself to others and start taking little steps every day to build the life you want.
      I would strongly suggest you find a men's group in your area. I go to one called Andy's Man Club which are all over the country and online if there isn't one local to you. There are also a tonne of other ones available. I think it's highly likely that the things that's holding you back is the shame you feel - talking will help normalize the way you're feeling and make space for growth.
      Good luck brother, you can do this.

    • @Lily-lc9sz
      @Lily-lc9sz หลายเดือนก่อน

      Andy man club full of willy wavers I suffer austism and got piss taken out of me.

    • @manasseh7
      @manasseh7 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Rock bottom is good. Now the only way to go is up. one step at a time lad

    • @CA1567-v8p
      @CA1567-v8p หลายเดือนก่อน

      You are healthy and not destroying yourself trust me you're doing great in life

  • @dianageorgieva952
    @dianageorgieva952 16 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

    You may never find the right thimgs, but if you keep looking for them, thrrr is still a chance. We will nwver be happy, thats true, but at least peacefull and wirh a little bit of joy from time to time.

  • @Roni5
    @Roni5 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    You read my mind, simple as.
    People that choose to see life as only the extremes can't become consistency happy, ever, unless they change this mindset.
    Reality is raw, life is raw --not how we imagine it in our head. The obsession to wish things would become the way we want it to be is a path with no identity but rather
    obsessions and delusions.
    I think it's a path to narcissism because then you won't be connected with anything around you and instead see these people or things to manipulate in hopes of achieving your goals/objectives.
    Our thoughts aren't the centre of everything, but rather; perhaps, the centre of ourselves.
    To live is to connect with things like cooking, football, painting, debating, racing or people around us, in part that's happiness.
    Dead people or ones not living but alive physically, can't become happy.

    • @JayWallace
      @JayWallace  หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Ironically, most people are running around trying to collect all these things in order to be approved by others when all we need to do is to be vulnerable with each other!

  • @eisvogel8099
    @eisvogel8099 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    There's a great book from Jolanda Linschooten about her run from Land's End to John O'Groats "Running Wild" about her inner journey while running. It's also known as "Not the race but the journey". It reflects exactly what you're talking about. I still believe that none from the outside can make one happy. It's the desires we got to reign in. The need to be satisfied gets you way further.

    • @JayWallace
      @JayWallace  หลายเดือนก่อน

      Thanks, I'll check this out. I did read the one about the girl that walked that Appalachian trial, they made a film on it too.

  • @mrlume9475
    @mrlume9475 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    The system requires us drones to do our bit to keep the 1% truly happy.

  • @ilyachernishov8963
    @ilyachernishov8963 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn wrote, “For there, lying upon the rotting prison straw, I came to realize that the object of life is not prosperity as we are made to believe, but the maturity of the human soul” in his book The Gulag Archipelago.

  • @vovanminh999
    @vovanminh999 หลายเดือนก่อน +7

    I am postman and i love it, it's very relax job and i got accounting background, i hate to wok in office jobs.

    • @joannedibben2352
      @joannedibben2352 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      I'm really pleased for you as working outside in fresh air is very good for your body and mind I'm so pleased your happy🌈

  • @LubomirTzekov
    @LubomirTzekov หลายเดือนก่อน +4

    I'm 38 and may I share my life advices - Always trust the guy with the Honda and never fight the guy on a bicycle. Thanks.

    • @JayWallace
      @JayWallace  หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Haha, can't beat the trusty Honda!

    • @charlesedwards4160
      @charlesedwards4160 19 วันที่ผ่านมา

      Yes my Honda Jazz has never let me down. Honda is Honda.

  • @libertycaps97211
    @libertycaps97211 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    The universality of our collective experience is that most to all people live and work in boxes. And we are stuck looking at screens all day. Boxes and screens. All of us. It's inhumane. We are being culled.

  • @kzpm9796
    @kzpm9796 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    finally a good recommendation from youtube bot. The one advice to rule them all. joking asides i come to realization the meaning of that cliche sayin "pursuit of happiness" from watching you. good talk

    • @JayWallace
      @JayWallace  หลายเดือนก่อน

      Thank you, glad you enjoyed the content and the LOTR reference :}

  • @amandasealspiritartist5775
    @amandasealspiritartist5775 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    Its not different desires, its different values an perspectives

    • @JayWallace
      @JayWallace  หลายเดือนก่อน

      Very true, values I guess is the deeper version of that, thanks for your insight.

  • @0wen101
    @0wen101 12 วันที่ผ่านมา

    great video. You're providing very good and profound answers here to difficult life questions👍

  • @MrMarcy76
    @MrMarcy76 17 วันที่ผ่านมา

    I did think about going to work for Royal Mail, as I’m thinking about starting a TH-cam channel. I’m currently bored with my job, but i won’t quit until I find something else

  • @markchristopher8515
    @markchristopher8515 16 วันที่ผ่านมา

    To Break free from the Conditioning of our early years is or, can be Really Tough!
    Much to discuss Friend.
    I have Subscribed and given a Thumbs-up.
    Sincerest Regards
    From Mark UK.

  • @JonasSalomonsson
    @JonasSalomonsson หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    Yeah, it is about growing up and take as much responsibility you can over your life. It is scary at first, but the reward is worth it; in my case the feeling of being free and content.

    • @JayWallace
      @JayWallace  หลายเดือนก่อน

      That's awesome, I think so many people want freedom but aren't prepared to pay the price for it which is taking responsibility. Hope you're making good progress and the content helps in some way

  • @-old-school-motorcyclesltd
    @-old-school-motorcyclesltd 17 วันที่ผ่านมา

    At 61 trust me us humans always want the next thing to be happy it goes on and on!
    Great point !
    Happiness lasts for so long then contentment is the key… until you’re not happy 😊😊😊😊😊

  • @TomTremayne
    @TomTremayne หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    This message is cleverly laid out.

    • @JayWallace
      @JayWallace  หลายเดือนก่อน

      Thank you, I appreciate the kind words

  • @richardfisher5508
    @richardfisher5508 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Hello dude. I just randomly fell on your video, and it resonates so well. I've also done so many things. Tried to make it as a pro golfer, army, carpenter, model, manual work, bodyguard, salesman, and CV writer, security consultant.
    We're very multi dimensional. I lived in Australia for years. They're way more free in their thinking than the british.

    • @JayWallace
      @JayWallace  หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Damn you've had more careers than I have! I did consider moving to Oz briefly but never pulled the trigger

    • @richardfisher5508
      @richardfisher5508 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @JayWallace never too late. Although the 80s, 90s, and early 2000s were better than it is now. Used to be cheap to live out there. But out there, there aren't labels and snobbery like in the UK. I worked in a big public hospital as an orderly when I first went out there. Finding my feet. Most of my friends were doctors, scientists, etc. That wouldn't happen in the UK. In Oz jobs don't define people like here.

  • @simonhough
    @simonhough หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    don't be happy be content being grateful is a start looking at what you do have rather than what you don't.

    • @JayWallace
      @JayWallace  หลายเดือนก่อน

      Gratitude is powerful

  • @JoePizzi-i3d
    @JoePizzi-i3d หลายเดือนก่อน +10

    I feel quite betrayed by society

    • @JayWallace
      @JayWallace  หลายเดือนก่อน +7

      You're not alone. I think things are changing for the newer generations but if you're a similar age to me - we were the last generation where our parents really could have a good life by following that life - that was before the internet.
      Since then, the world has changed a lot and that advice doesn't hold any more.
      I decided not to be angry about it and instead focus on the opportunities that area available to me that weren't to my parents - this channel is a prime example.

  • @animestarlord9021
    @animestarlord9021 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

    This is correct however, I learned many things on top of this. I achieved many of the dreams we were told to achieve in life, paid off house, good job, retire early, travel all the time etc but times have changed also. The media has programmed most younger folks into thinking anyone earning a salary under $250k per year is very low class, a man that does not have six pack abs is obese and a man that is anything under 6'2 in height is too short. Plus anyone that does not hold a masters degree or higher has a very low IQ. Sadly this is the reality in Washington DC anyway and many major city's also.

    • @JayWallace
      @JayWallace  หลายเดือนก่อน

      Yeah, one thing I'd like to consider more is how like-minded people tend to group together which creates this bias. It happens online with our social feeds but it probably happens in the outside world too. Thanks for giving me something to think on

  • @mrjay9746
    @mrjay9746 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    Wow. Needed that. Thank you.

    • @JayWallace
      @JayWallace  หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      You're most welcome, glad it helped.

  • @rubenv.p.6344
    @rubenv.p.6344 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Excellent piece of advise. I have had a bunch of different jobs in my twenties as well. Currently an English and Science teacher in Spain, for 12 years and, while it was good in the beginning and for some years, starting to get tired and bored of it. I think it time to reconsider my career direction. The downside is I´m almost 50 and don´t have the motivation I used to have. We´ll see.

    • @rubenv.p.6344
      @rubenv.p.6344 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      ...And, of course, subscribed! ;)

    • @JayWallace
      @JayWallace  หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Welcome to the channel, thanks for sharing your story. Personally, I don't think age has anything to do with motivation. If you found something that really lights you up, I think you'd find you had all the energy you needed

  • @mollieanne
    @mollieanne หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    Life is like a train with many stops. Some stops will be happier than others and life is not about happiness. It can have happy moments, but to say to be happy or to have a happy life is not achievable for any human. IF one thinks it is they just will be miserable chasing that false idea. I am 55 and have had many train stops already. My mom died of a horrible dementia which also taught me life lessons. Was I happy when she was sick, of course not. But life is not about making us happy. Once we get past that ridiculous notion "When I...I will be happy." Then we can live our life that is messy and unpredictable. Yes, we can all have happy moments, however, acceptance is the key to freedom. Not a bigger house, being married, and all the rest. People get stuck in the idea of a happy life. It is keeping them from a meaningful life and will actually make them feel defeated if they really believe this is something they can achieve.

    • @JayWallace
      @JayWallace  หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      That's a beautiful analogy. I think there are people that would have used the things you've been through to confirm their belief that the world is a bad place. You've used it to grow and that's ultimate maturity. Thank you for sharing your story

    • @mollieanne
      @mollieanne หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@JayWallace You are welcome. And if we all live long enough we all will have some trauma. It is inevitable. But most of us also will have tremendous joys too. Living is a curvy road and there is not just a path of happiness or just a path of despair and crises. The paths change and life is never stagnant.

  • @markchristopher8515
    @markchristopher8515 16 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

    Subscribed and Thumbs up.

  • @danny9405
    @danny9405 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Same. It took me 30+ years to realize that happiness isn’t a destination. We’re programmed to think that because movies have happy endings. Happiness is a choice that you make every minute of the day. Happiness isn’t a cure, happiness is an exercise. You can dislike a situation but it doesn’t make you an unhappy person. Also, momentum works both ways (positive and negative) if I tell myself that my life is miserable long enough it will be, if I show gratitude and work towards goals, life feels better. Think of it like this. When you go on vacation/holiday, it’s not just arriving that makes you “happy” it’s what you do while on holiday. Every day life works the same way. Great video, I wish more people would learn this earlier in life.

    • @danny9405
      @danny9405 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      On the topic of the final minutes where you say it’s ok to try different things. I’ve found that the act of trying something new opens doors that I wasn’t expecting. As in, example- let’s say hypothetically you want to learn to be an electrician. You take action, you learn the trade, and in the process someone offers you a job related to electric work but not exactly what you were expecting. The action resulted in something great that you weren’t looking for initially. Just go for things.

    • @JayWallace
      @JayWallace  หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Thanks for sharing and couldn't agree more. I made a video some time ago about the problem with the advice "follow your passions" - it's self-destructive and puts too much pressure on people.
      I prefer "follow your curiosities"
      Either you're going to find something that you really enjoy or you're going to learn more about what you don't like and make more accurate decisions next time.

  • @jonathanhowson6420
    @jonathanhowson6420 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Absolutely brilliant. Just subscribed. I am in the process of going through the adhd diagnosis. Keep this up please.

    • @JayWallace
      @JayWallace  หลายเดือนก่อน

      Welcome to the channel and best of luck with the diagnosis, I know it can be a frustrating process.

  • @OnePintJohnny
    @OnePintJohnny หลายเดือนก่อน

    Needed to hear this, thank you.
    Currently in sales always chasing KPIs being questioned on my performance is truly draining my mental health and causing me to be miserable and though it pays ok the job is not as competitive as it used to be which is causing me to question everything.
    Only thing keeping me with my current job is my shares don’t mature until August so ideally need to hold out until then and reevaluate my situation.

  • @mindfulmaximalism
    @mindfulmaximalism หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Growing a garden makes me happy.

    • @JayWallace
      @JayWallace  หลายเดือนก่อน

      There's a massive satisfaction from planting a little seed and seeing this huge plant grow from it.

    • @mindfulmaximalism
      @mindfulmaximalism หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@JayWallace Absolutely. Also dividing by roots and rooting in water. Exponential potential.

  • @cheaplaughkennedy2318
    @cheaplaughkennedy2318 หลายเดือนก่อน

    66 here , the only conclusion I’ve come to is , life is like a roller coaster with ups and downs which never end until your ticket off the big train expires. Meanwhile enjoy every moment possible and tell your friends and family that you love them. As James Taylor said in one of his songs: What are you going to do with all your foolish pride when you’re all by yourself alone.

  • @333_Tarot
    @333_Tarot หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    To have patience with oneself is to have self-love 🌹

    • @JayWallace
      @JayWallace  หลายเดือนก่อน

      Very true

  • @5_R1NGS
    @5_R1NGS หลายเดือนก่อน

    Thank you for this. I really needed this advice right now.

  • @space2703
    @space2703 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    good on you Jay and once you get older and continue to follow your gut...you turn into happy man looking back and can say ...mhh yes, not perfect but hey I tried and hopefully don't have many regrets you have...have fun and enjoy every minute

    • @JayWallace
      @JayWallace  หลายเดือนก่อน

      Thank you, I am learning to trust my intuition more after years of low-confidence. Wish you all the best

  • @manasseh7
    @manasseh7 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    As the wise man Solomon once said, “vanity of vanities..a chasing after the wind”

  • @-old-school-motorcyclesltd
    @-old-school-motorcyclesltd 17 วันที่ผ่านมา

    #2
    Material things only make you happy for a short while.
    Having friends and connections is all you need for long term happiness and a positive attitude 😊😊😊
    Phil

  • @keonagrace
    @keonagrace หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Thank you, just subscribed!!

    • @JayWallace
      @JayWallace  หลายเดือนก่อน

      Welcome to the channel :)

  • @Anthony-q5i5p
    @Anthony-q5i5p 15 วันที่ผ่านมา +2

    I live in Thailand. The western world and its way of life made me unhappy. Enjoy the moment.

  • @eXit-ubermensch
    @eXit-ubermensch หลายเดือนก่อน

    "Goals are for losers" Create systems, habits, don't rush life, you are the youngest today, don't waste time, do what you can today

  • @WhoCares_Official
    @WhoCares_Official หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Often what you love doing is rooted in the very things you dislike.

    • @JayWallace
      @JayWallace  หลายเดือนก่อน

      I think it can definitely give us some insight.

  • @JoshuaTrinityWolf-dc4up
    @JoshuaTrinityWolf-dc4up หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    I WILL BE HAPPY WHEN ! I used to think that I will be happy when I graduate from public school, high school, get a job, retire, find a girlfriend.

    • @JayWallace
      @JayWallace  หลายเดือนก่อน

      Yeah it's a terrible mentality to have, hopefully you found some wisdom in the vid

  • @funkymunky
    @funkymunky หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    On a positive note: you drive a Honda! It's the right car 😜 (On a serious note: it's NOT about the journey... It's about the company. And not the one you work for 💝)

  • @KnightsTemplar-y4u
    @KnightsTemplar-y4u หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Usually people who are academics, do my head in because they think they know everything..
    A person needs to live life to understand how it ticks, life though is full of disappointment..
    Something that you buy today will be forgotten about in 1 year..

    • @JayWallace
      @JayWallace  หลายเดือนก่อน

      I think intelligence can be a curse sometimes. When you have a very analytical brain you can torture yourself trying to understand a world that is so infinitely complex. It's not to say that ignorance is bliss but it's good to accept that there's some things we'll never understand, and that's OK.
      There are a few things I've bought that I wouldn't be without, my kindle is a good example. Also, experiences, then the memories last a lifetime

  • @alphacentauri8083
    @alphacentauri8083 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Want some sound advice on how to be happy? Remove unnecessary stressors from your life and don't take on too much just to prove that you're successful and lead a purpose driven life. Keep it simple. I'm in my 50's, never married, no kids, no debt, money in the bank, etc. Trust me on this....simple is better.

    • @JayWallace
      @JayWallace  หลายเดือนก่อน

      For sure. The complexity, the more room for error. I do eventually want a family but it's not something I would ever rush into and if it doesn't happen, I'd still be content.

    • @alphacentauri8083
      @alphacentauri8083 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @JayWallace What you need to keep in mind is that life is highly dynamic and not static. You might end up loathing lasting commitments in your 40's that you thought were cute and made in your 20's. I've seen it happen many times. Remember that you won't miss something you've never had.

  • @stuarttimocin7929
    @stuarttimocin7929 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Great video mate. This is helpful

    • @JayWallace
      @JayWallace  หลายเดือนก่อน

      Thank you, glad it helped.

  • @swisscheesy
    @swisscheesy หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    I am pretty much stuck in IT (developer) where our software doesn't interest or fulfill me to improve or add features to. Though it is objectively useful. But with a family you're not really allowed to switch around things a lot, if at all, without messing up a lot.
    "All I need to do", right now, is being a good father and husband. But there's barely a lot of time to collect more "data points" in the evening. I'm watching/listening here at the side at work. Easily distracted, but getting my work done nontheless. Just never at 100% efficiency.

    • @JayWallace
      @JayWallace  หลายเดือนก่อน

      Yeah I understand that things are much harder when you have a family and financial obligations, people relying on you.
      I have a lot of friends/family that have young ones and that in itself has given them the purpose they were missing.
      Sounds like you enjoy the job but just not the particular industry/software. Maybe there some room there to transition to a company that does something that lights you up a bit more and stay within development?

  • @Rollonfriday39
    @Rollonfriday39 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    If you don't have money behind you it's difficult just to quit.

    • @JayWallace
      @JayWallace  หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Absolutely, wouldn't ever suggest anyone just quit their job. But spending time really contemplating what you want to do with your life? Taking classes online outside of work hours? Spending a day of a weekend with someone in that industry shadowing them? All those things are free and can help you move further along without risking your livelihood.

  • @layaboutlout
    @layaboutlout หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    I can easily relate to most points here, including the CV dilema, but I will say and i mean it with genuine kindness, Do not entertain the idea of being a postman i've bought the Tshirt and have the scars to prove it.

    • @JayWallace
      @JayWallace  หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Ooops, too late! It's just some temp work up until January but I did notice a lot of the old-timers were riddled with various leg/knee/hip problems!

  • @JustJam99
    @JustJam99 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    There is a philosopher that gives very good examples to all that you’ve been discussing here and will illuminate anyone that listens to him: Allan Watts. All of his TH-cam videos are free. He really illuminated me. Every few years I go back and listen to him and remind myself of The Now. 😮

    • @JayWallace
      @JayWallace  หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Yeah, I find all of his talks fascinating. I feel like I go through these spiritual cycles where I'm interested in these deep concepts and then I lose it for a bit. There's another called Sadhguru who I find really interesting as well.

  • @mareksozolins6347
    @mareksozolins6347 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Be happy today!

  • @piggsinablankie
    @piggsinablankie หลายเดือนก่อน

    It is the struggle itself that is most important. We must strive to be more than we are. It does not matter that we will never reach our ultimate goal. The effort yields its own rewards.
    - Lt. Cmdr. Data

  • @Sam-qh1rs
    @Sam-qh1rs หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Very good message. Resonated with me quite a bit

    • @JayWallace
      @JayWallace  หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      That's great to hear I could help in some way. Hope you're good

  • @NigelPickering
    @NigelPickering หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Great video, 👏 I subscribed

    • @JayWallace
      @JayWallace  หลายเดือนก่อน

      Thank you, welcome to the channel :)

  • @JoãoLacerdadeOliveira
    @JoãoLacerdadeOliveira 13 วันที่ผ่านมา

    Solid advice here 👍

  • @shawnbruce6934
    @shawnbruce6934 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Great video. Subbed.

    • @JayWallace
      @JayWallace  หลายเดือนก่อน

      Thank you, welcome to the channel

  • @Dathom1986
    @Dathom1986 หลายเดือนก่อน

    I find contentment in small pleasures, im not chasing after a big lifestyle with girls and cars money, that isn't me , my interests are more on the creative side of things!