So very true, Jay. Was very glad seeing your video pop up on my feed. "Connection is not optional" and "feeling lonely is worse than smoking 20 cigarettes a day" really struck me.
I’m so pleased that your channel has come my way. I’m a 62 year old woman and what you say is relevant to all. Your naturalness is refreshing and just what people need. It’s soothing, a relief even, in a world of falseness and disconnection. Thank you! I have long wished there was a group I could attend, similar to the men’s group you mentioned (that is suitable for women obviously) where people can open up to each other in a safe space. As you say, if there isn’t, start one - I will look into doing that. Thanks again.
Thank you, I appreciate your kind words and welcome to the channel. I don't know a huge amount about support groups for women but I know there is one called WomenTalk - think they have in-person and online meetups so might be worth looking in to?
I like raw unedited videos with no music where a person just talks about things. Contrary to highly edited videos, videos such as yours just feel natural. It feels like a friend chilling there with me talking about issues. I'm 30 years old and I've been struggling with loneliness for a long time.
there is also an evolutionary aspect of 'safety in numbers'. This is why we formed tribes or families. When you are alone, you can feel very vulnerable
Someone’s probably told you already, but Legion of Men picked up your videos today… don’t think he’s seen this latest one tho. Worth checking it out if you get a chance. Glad to see you doing better than that 1st video. Keep moving forward man - use the momentum from Legion of Men sharing your stuff and move forward. You’re gonna be fine, I’ve got every confidence in you 🙏🏼 subscribed
Just checked it out and grateful for his insights, would have been better if he'd seen the latest video for a more balanced view! Thanks for the kind words and welcome to the channel Brother.
I'm a woman. Trust me, women get lonely too and life can be even harder than it is for men. I try to travel as much as I can. Women who travel alone are often sneered at or looked down upon. I remember being on holiday in Cornwall alone, sat outside a harbour bistro on a lovely summer night and having a family sneering at me and making fun of me because they knew I was alone. I dig my heels in now and traveled to Thailand, Jamaica, Croatia, Dominican etc. Women can't just meet someone from an online connection either because of the inherent danger. It's a tough life when you are lonely. Fight it, try to connect no matter where you are. I often find friends when abroad and love it. It just takes a willingness to open up, smile and show an interest in others
It’s true loneliness is a problem among men within the wider loneliness epidemic, which many women experience too. Men really need men’s group where they can connect. Talk therapy and healthy lifestyle changes (exercise, joining groups) have helped me the most. I disagree about getting more sleep not making a difference, though. Proper sleep regulates mood and appetite, and I feel like💩if I don’t get enough sleep lol.
Yeah I should have been clearer on that - sleep/diet/exercise are all super-important, I just meant that, in my case at least, I could neglect those things for a short space of time and still feel good so they're not the only things we need.
Have you ever checked the conclusions list of your local Coroner? Check it out. In my area of the UK, most deaths are attributed to su,c,ide, alcohol and drugs. Those 3 types of demise are easily linked to loneliness. I also noted that the frequency of female names on these lists is rocketing. It's affecting many people, M or F
@@mancunianinlondon Yes, I’m aware that loneliness and depression affects females as well. Women are twice as likely to be diagnosed with depression than men but I think the difference is that more women seek support and medication than men do.
I have bumped into your content by accident, I guess it's the algorithm thing, anyway I am listening to you right now, being 34 and feeling just the same way as you're describing. Jesus...I can not believe that it's like I was listening to myself to my stream of consciousness!
I tried jiujitsu, and did open up, been vulnerable around the community, but all that led to was them treating me like a zoo animal. Also, with a severe anti Indian sentiment in Canada right now, it is getting really hard to find a community, because everything is a clique.
Thank you! Yeah, I'm actually coaching which is a similar process. You can apply from the link in the description if it's something you're interested in
When i get a notification from your channel I feel like a friend invite me to.tea so I made my tea and set to watching you talking to me knowing that after all I'm not lonely after all I wish I could find something who understand what going on inside of me were I can open and vulnerable
A restless, agitated mind will experience loneliness and a sense of isolation. This is because of compulsive thinking. A calm, relaxed mind will experiience aloneness and peace. Aloneness is different from loneliness. One can enjoy solitude in nature; we are interconnected. Sometimes you can enjoy being with friends, but you cannot depend on them for your happiness. All of our experiences are impermanent. Life is constantly changing. I would like to suggest that you visit a meditation center and learn to calm your mind or you can use a meditation app on your phone. There is one called Free Meditation. Take care and best wishes. Too much thinking creates fear and anxiety and confusion.
Agree. Necessity or need changes the rules of the game. Modern lifestyle and all commodities we enjoy today is what isolates us. We are going against our nature and suffering for it. Nothing worse than not smoking but having a life quality and life span like a smoker.
When it comes to audio books, or just reading, if the book is written in a more conversational manner, and isn't overly lofty and excessively academic, I can absorb it much better. I wonder if that was what you might of experienced with your audiobook also. Absolutely, the work of therapy is also about creating a space to allow for that vulnerability and opportunity to express that which might not be as easy to do in other spaces. Sounds great that you found a place and community that you get to find that connection though!
He's not imagining this problem. I think technology has led to where we are right now. It seems like women and maybe everyone have become so closed off to the point that society can't even function.
Imagine my frustration when I opened up to one of my friends (not anymore) and when I was talking about some serious shit, he got a notification on his phone and started doing Duolingo (it was like 11pm) because he didn't want to lose a 'streak'. I was like, dude, are you serious? It still bothers me now, even though it was over 1 year ago. Thankfully things are a lot better now, and I think watching this channel for the first time was a bit of a turning point in my life, where I started to see relationships in a different way.
@@martin_93 That sounds tough man, I've had similar situations with friends before.I come to see it now as an opportunity to practice standing up for myself. Call them out, they'll either apoligise or you'll realise the friendship's not meant to be. Glad this channel could help in some way. Thanks for sharing.
Hi jay, this is a good open honest video again. I agree about connection. Personally find i can struggle a bit xmas is a bad time for me. Also i could go to an event where i know nobody and its packed easier than a family meal for example. Being authentic is quite hard not because i dont want to be. Im glad mans group has helped you if there was one near to me i would go. Mankind do online ones most weekdays theres also menspeak as well which is subscription. Also, the 1k-weekend "yoga warrior brother" with ice bath affairs as shown in danny dyers 2-parter on channel4 "whats up with men?". I mean at least there is something for every budget mankind is free. So is andys manclub.
It’s so ironic when you said you couldn’t engage with the podcast because it was read from a script, I had a similar experience while listening to a sleep podcast as I could (because of gaps) clearly tell it was artificial intelligence! How can this help people fall to sleep Xx
Yeah people are trying to cheat a lot of things with AI. I think it has it's uses but when it comes to communication, there is no substitute for person to person, it feels different.
@@JayWallace sorry i wont hear 24minutes of a stranger that dosent get to the point, stop milking people and get to the point whenever you want to make an assesment, you dont have control over your mind and you love to hear your own voice, go stoic,and read the 48 laws of power by robert greene, it will help with your lack of focus
@@mariodebenedetti9276 If you claim to be a stoic then you'll know one of the central tenants is to focus on things that are within your control. You know what is in your control? The X at the top of your screen. No one forcing you to watch my videos, no one forcing you to get in a debate with a stranger online. I would be asking why you were so triggered. Thanks for the feedback and wish you all the best with your stoicism journey.
So very true, Jay. Was very glad seeing your video pop up on my feed. "Connection is not optional" and "feeling lonely is worse than smoking 20 cigarettes a day" really struck me.
Glad you found it helpful. I'm feeling this real call to make more content around this subject, no one talks about it
I’m so pleased that your channel has come my way. I’m a 62 year old woman and what you say is relevant to all. Your naturalness is refreshing and just what people need. It’s soothing, a relief even, in a world of falseness and disconnection. Thank you! I have long wished there was a group I could attend, similar to the men’s group you mentioned (that is suitable for women obviously) where people can open up to each other in a safe space. As you say, if there isn’t, start one - I will look into doing that. Thanks again.
Thank you, I appreciate your kind words and welcome to the channel. I don't know a huge amount about support groups for women but I know there is one called WomenTalk - think they have in-person and online meetups so might be worth looking in to?
I like raw unedited videos with no music where a person just talks about things. Contrary to highly edited videos, videos such as yours just feel natural. It feels like a friend chilling there with me talking about issues. I'm 30 years old and I've been struggling with loneliness for a long time.
Blues music talks about being lonely and ok to feel loneliness with that blues music in the background. BB KING song kicks ass and listen to it!
I think people need two main things in life to be emmotionally healthy a sense of purpose and a sense of belonging.
there is also an evolutionary aspect of 'safety in numbers'. This is why we formed tribes or families. When you are alone, you can feel very vulnerable
@@mancunianinlondon So true.
Legion of Men brought me here - finally a UK perspective I can relate to
Welcome to the channel Brother
Someone’s probably told you already, but Legion of Men picked up your videos today… don’t think he’s seen this latest one tho.
Worth checking it out if you get a chance. Glad to see you doing better than that 1st video. Keep moving forward man - use the momentum from Legion of Men sharing your stuff and move forward. You’re gonna be fine, I’ve got every confidence in you 🙏🏼 subscribed
Just checked it out and grateful for his insights, would have been better if he'd seen the latest video for a more balanced view!
Thanks for the kind words and welcome to the channel Brother.
I'm a woman. Trust me, women get lonely too and life can be even harder than it is for men. I try to travel as much as I can. Women who travel alone are often sneered at or looked down upon. I remember being on holiday in Cornwall alone, sat outside a harbour bistro on a lovely summer night and having a family sneering at me and making fun of me because they knew I was alone. I dig my heels in now and traveled to Thailand, Jamaica, Croatia, Dominican etc. Women can't just meet someone from an online connection either because of the inherent danger. It's a tough life when you are lonely. Fight it, try to connect no matter where you are. I often find friends when abroad and love it. It just takes a willingness to open up, smile and show an interest in others
It’s true loneliness is a problem among men within the wider loneliness epidemic, which many women experience too. Men really need men’s group where they can connect. Talk therapy and healthy lifestyle changes (exercise, joining groups) have helped me the most. I disagree about getting more sleep not making a difference, though. Proper sleep regulates mood and appetite, and I feel like💩if I don’t get enough sleep lol.
Yeah I should have been clearer on that - sleep/diet/exercise are all super-important, I just meant that, in my case at least, I could neglect those things for a short space of time and still feel good so they're not the only things we need.
@@JayWallace Absolutely.
Have you ever checked the conclusions list of your local Coroner? Check it out. In my area of the UK, most deaths are attributed to su,c,ide, alcohol and drugs. Those 3 types of demise are easily linked to loneliness. I also noted that the frequency of female names on these lists is rocketing. It's affecting many people, M or F
@@mancunianinlondon Yes, I’m aware that loneliness and depression affects females as well. Women are twice as likely to be diagnosed with depression than men but I think the difference is that more women seek support and medication than men do.
Fair dos mate you’re a top bloke ❤
Thanks, good to hear from you
@ No worries mate and apologies I’ve not commented on your videos lately
x2
Didn't think I'd be watching Gary Neville talk to me from his car this evening, but here I am
Even us celebs have our problems
I’m bingeing your videos backwards . Being alone is horrible I just wish to have 1 friend just some company instead of solitude all day.
Hope you find some value in my ramblings! I'm going to do a video soon that you might find useful, keep an eye out.
I have bumped into your content by accident, I guess it's the algorithm thing, anyway I am listening to you right now, being 34 and feeling just the same way as you're describing. Jesus...I can not believe that it's like I was listening to myself to my stream of consciousness!
Well hopefully you might be able to glean something useful out of my ramblings! Welcome to the channel
I tried jiujitsu, and did open up, been vulnerable around the community, but all that led to was them treating me like a zoo animal. Also, with a severe anti Indian sentiment in Canada right now, it is getting really hard to find a community, because everything is a clique.
Great video Jay!
Have you ever thought about going into counselling? You offer good advice and wisdom which can be helpful.
Thank you! Yeah, I'm actually coaching which is a similar process. You can apply from the link in the description if it's something you're interested in
When i get a notification from your channel I feel like a friend invite me to.tea so I made my tea and set to watching you talking to me knowing that after all I'm not lonely after all I wish I could find something who understand what going on inside of me were I can open and vulnerable
A restless, agitated mind will experience loneliness and a sense of isolation. This is because of compulsive thinking. A calm, relaxed mind will experiience aloneness and peace. Aloneness is different from loneliness. One can enjoy solitude in nature; we are interconnected. Sometimes you can enjoy being with friends, but you cannot depend on them for your happiness. All of our experiences are impermanent. Life is constantly changing. I would like to suggest that you visit a meditation center and learn to calm your mind or you can use a meditation app on your phone. There is one called Free Meditation. Take care and best wishes. Too much thinking creates fear and anxiety and confusion.
Agree. Necessity or need changes the rules of the game. Modern lifestyle and all commodities we enjoy today is what isolates us. We are going against our nature and suffering for it. Nothing worse than not smoking but having a life quality and life span like a smoker.
Spot on, what's the point of having a long life without the things that make it worth living?
When it comes to audio books, or just reading, if the book is written in a more conversational manner, and isn't overly lofty and excessively academic, I can absorb it much better. I wonder if that was what you might of experienced with your audiobook also.
Absolutely, the work of therapy is also about creating a space to allow for that vulnerability and opportunity to express that which might not be as easy to do in other spaces.
Sounds great that you found a place and community that you get to find that connection though!
He's not imagining this problem. I think technology has led to where we are right now. It seems like women and maybe everyone have become so closed off to the point that society can't even function.
Definitely not imagining it, you've only got to go through the 1000s of comments on my first vid to see
Imagine my frustration when I opened up to one of my friends (not anymore) and when I was talking about some serious shit, he got a notification on his phone and started doing Duolingo (it was like 11pm) because he didn't want to lose a 'streak'. I was like, dude, are you serious? It still bothers me now, even though it was over 1 year ago.
Thankfully things are a lot better now, and I think watching this channel for the first time was a bit of a turning point in my life, where I started to see relationships in a different way.
@@martin_93 That sounds tough man, I've had similar situations with friends before.I come to see it now as an opportunity to practice standing up for myself. Call them out, they'll either apoligise or you'll realise the friendship's not meant to be.
Glad this channel could help in some way. Thanks for sharing.
Hi jay, this is a good open honest video again. I agree about connection. Personally find i can struggle a bit xmas is a bad time for me. Also i could go to an event where i know nobody and its packed easier than a family meal for example. Being authentic is quite hard not because i dont want to be.
Im glad mans group has helped you if there was one near to me i would go. Mankind do online ones most weekdays theres also menspeak as well which is subscription.
Also, the 1k-weekend "yoga warrior brother" with ice bath affairs as shown in danny dyers 2-parter on channel4 "whats up with men?".
I mean at least there is something for every budget mankind is free. So is andys manclub.
It’s so ironic when you said you couldn’t engage with the podcast because it was read from a script, I had a similar experience while listening to a sleep podcast as I could (because of gaps) clearly tell it was artificial intelligence! How can this help people fall to sleep Xx
Yeah people are trying to cheat a lot of things with AI. I think it has it's uses but when it comes to communication, there is no substitute for person to person, it feels different.
unedited freestyle nugget's
Just hope they're useful ones!
I love you Jay.
Thank you ❤️
Just a good mic would be enough for a good video.
socialising with other people is pointless for the most part being alone and having freedom is much better.
Respectfully disagree. Freedom and socializing aren't exclusive. You can have great connections with friends/family and still have your freedom.
@@JayWallace Most people see you only as a tool and when you are not useful for them anymore, they will ghost you.
5 minutes in and i dont even know what is your point, skippin this channel
That's actually pretty useful feedback. Thanks for watching the 5 minutes, hope you're good
@@JayWallace sorry i wont hear 24minutes of a stranger that dosent get to the point, stop milking people and get to the point whenever you want to make an assesment, you dont have control over your mind and you love to hear your own voice, go stoic,and read the 48 laws of power by robert greene, it will help with your lack of focus
@@mariodebenedetti9276 If you claim to be a stoic then you'll know one of the central tenants is to focus on things that are within your control.
You know what is in your control? The X at the top of your screen. No one forcing you to watch my videos, no one forcing you to get in a debate with a stranger online.
I would be asking why you were so triggered.
Thanks for the feedback and wish you all the best with your stoicism journey.
@@JayWallace im just tired of the new milking videos culture that speak nonsense until the last 5 minutes of the video, nothing personal, take care
@@mariodebenedetti9276feel free not to watch then mate. The channel is about issues that many people face, so perhaps leave off with the criticism