I think we've all had years or even decades of knowing we were "different" and considered "social misfits" without understanding why. Sometimes we had false beliefs that if we "just tried harder" or tried some new social strategies everything would fall into place. Discovering that autism is the explanation is a great revelation and gives us a much more realistic sense of ourselves.
Absolutely! Being able to have the understanding that I’m different without having something ‘wrong’ with me totally changed the way I feel about myself.
I had never met someone whose brain works like mine until I came across Temple Grandin and went from her to people she wrote or spoke of. If you are searching your brain and wonder "why?" read, research, listen to videos, and listen from your heart. You will begin to collect fragments of Self, and gradually you will see and feel connections forming within you as the fragments become the strongest part of you. It's never too late--I wondered through 74 years and am so glad to have answers to all the "why?s", and a peace I longed for all my life. Soon to be 76.
Note that they fail to diagnose all the time. Until recently doctors believed "girls can't be autistic" and many still believe BS like "you make eye contact, you can't be autistic" and the like. Most practicing psychiatrists/psychologist, unless dedicated time and studied autism specifically, are misinformed, based on stereotypes, and very shallow knowledge. The best is doctors that are either long story of working with autistic people, or even better themselves autistic (so they understand it internally, haven't just read about it in the DSM).
I realized after I figured out that I am autistic, that the kids in school that were the nicest to me were the kids who I am pretty sure had ADHD. Conversely I realized afterward also that in trying to survive, I wasn't always very kind to the kids who weren't quite as good at masking as I was. I try to have grace with myself about it even though I am ashamed about it. Growing up in the 90s was toxic AF.
When I was a young teenager I remember doing an A3 pencil drawing of a little boy who was a little like Christopher Robin, with his little cap and satchel and shorts. And he was standing in the woods at the base of a huge old tree, looking up at it. The tree had this huge old wrinkled ancient kindly face. You could only really see the trunk because he was so big, like one of those Moreton Bay Fig trees. The little boy, who was facing away from the viewer, was involved in a conversation with the ancient tree. In my mind, the boy was asking the tree questions about life,about how to deal with things, about the wisdom that the tree might have acquired from a long and varied life. Partly because he was having difficulty in knowing "how to be" in this confusing world. And the old tree was listening intently to the boy because he reminded him of himself when he was young, facing a world he didn't really understand. Wondering what he could say to the boy that might help. It was almost like a conversation across time. I realised later in life that both characters were me.
I haven't been diagnosed but I'm wondering about it. I grew up thinking I was just weak and pathetic compared with other people. They all seemed to be able to cope with things I just couldn't bring myself to do or were just more comfortable particularly with social interaction. I figured it was social anxiety disorder for a very long time.. but I don't really get a fast heartbeat or the shakes (unless it's conflict), and I feel relatively comfortable talking to people about factual things. Social chatting is like being put on the spot to perform and they're expecting me to be able to handle it. It's like people expect you to be able to do ballet through a minefield while remaining composed. As if everyone gets trained to do this from a young age. I've spent years searching for an explanation for why I'm such a waste of space and feel so incredibly poorly prepared for life when other people my age have moved out, got married, and had children. But I recognise that I'm far from stupid, so why can't I do this! I even feel shit compared with Autistic people because often they have moved out and live independently.
omg, I was the only one who could hear the buzzing in electronics that were plugged in as a kid, and it meant I only had battery operated things in my bedroom or else I couldn't sleep. It also made sleepovers horrible, with all the electronics that people had, tvs in particular. My plug in radio that I got later had to always be unplugged when I was done using it, too. Thankfully both electronics and fluorescent have improved, both in the sound and the flicker. But as a teen taking typing classes in high school, I made sure to sit at a new enough computer so that the screen didn't strobe with the fluorescent lights in the classroom, because I also have flicker vertigo (I didn't know that was what it was or what it was called at the time) and would get nauseous and develop migraines whenever we had to switch seats for a game our teacher liked us to play, because then I'd have to look at screens that were strobeing
I've gone through these cycles for a while. I thought they were just typical holiday depression, but I'm starting to realize how much of it is being due to be overwhelmed. I get tested next month.
that bit about not being able to imagine things and so being anxious about it, without knowing what could go wrong. first time ive heard someone describe that thing that i have.
I only found out about ‘social imagination’ during 2023 and it was a game changer, suddenly so easy to explain something I could never describe before!
@DanaAndersen "Social Imagination" would be a really interesting and useful topic to cover. Honestly, because it sounds like you have somewhat figured out what it really means. I think I get what you're saying, but would really love to hear more about some other maybe examples that you could point out? I definitely have trouble with this also. Thanks for the info either way!
I’m planning a video for the next week or so that’ll go into some of the lesser known autistic terms, like social imagination and interoception, that I feel like people aren’t super aware of but don’t really have enough to them to be an entire video, so keep an eye out for that!
ahh i love this series!! i resonate with so much that you said. i mainly started thinking about the possibility of being autistic because of stuff i saw on social media (i didn’t know any autistic people in my life) but i was uncertain about it for a month or so and then i hit a really bad autistic burnout a few months into sixth form and really started to notice sensory issues a lot more and overall it was obvious it was much more than a normal burnout. so i continued to do research and it became more and more evident in every aspect of my life. so here i am now, more than a year later and im so glad to understand myself better now :)
Omg yess I get anxious for things I've done many of times!! You just explained it so well. That plus my adhd is the reason why driving in general and especially on the interstate is extremely hard. I drove from cali to tn fleeing an abusive relationship first time driving more than a hour and it was horrible but the emergency caused my adhd to hyperfocus and get through it. But I still cannot drive for more then a hour without my CNS shutting down from boredom and the horrible anxiety of getting on a interstate the first time during San diego rush hour
I remember when I was about seven, my father drove my brother who was 18 months younger than me to a birthday party of one of his classmates. My father was then going to head to a training session with our dog on a farm in the countryside, with me tagging along. In the street outside the party, all the kids were being dropped off. The "Dad" of the birthday child came over and told my father he should let me join the party. I protested. I didn't know any of them. But my arm was twisted and I felt I had no choice. Inside the party, sitting round this large dining room table, were all these younger kids. Behind each one was a "mother" spooning creamy jelly and other sloppy party food into the mouths of these objectionable children. Each one was a total mess. And they were all talking and shouting at once. Chaos. It was like something out of a Pink Floyd movie! I was spared this horrific treatment! I felt so out of it, so alienated, that I didn't belong there at all. At one point I slipped quietly out of my chair and made my way out into the back garden. Nobody noticed. There I found a couple of ponies that had been hired to give birthday rides, being looked after by this old wrinkled toothless black chap. I enjoyed interacting with the ponies for a while until I heard the dreaded noise of the other food soiled kids coming out for their rides. So I slipped round the side of the house where I found a flower bed of large hydrangeas and climbed beneath them. I sat there alone, watching the little bugs and caterpillars going about their business, for a couple of hours. Nobody came looking for me until my father arrived to pick me up, and I could hear my name being called. Nobody asked where I had been. I have had that same feeling often in life. I remember it like it was yesterday. Well over 50 years later.
I'm a middle age autistic bloke who grew up in the 80s and 90s and I also always preferred old music from the 50s and 60s like Elvis Presley and the Beatles.
Great video! Supes helpful....ive spent like a decade on the am i/am i not? mostly in my head train of thought cos...well a few reasons. Lol! Anyway... totally helpful to hear more (eerily similar) life paths!! 😏😁
What I am wondering is how to communicate your learning and mental disabilities to your psychiatrist. This way an understated report from them that the SSA eventually gets does not cause the removal of benefits. This is a huge problem for people with any physical or mental disability and they might get sent to a consultative doctor paid by the SSA to do the exam. The problem is that a lot of times when that happens the report is biased and not in favor of the person receiving the benefits. They might fail to recognize the true severity of the condition and then the claimant's problems begin. I need to find a psychiatrist near me who can give a fair and honest evaluation and probably secretly hates taking the SSA's bribes to give them unfavorable reports. If a good psychiatrist like this is in the Pittsburgh Pennsylvania area that is great. The main reason I don't really go to one is because I am afraid that I might get a biased one. I attended a special school in East Liberty for people with learning disabilities and autism and similar conditions. All of my years of school were in special education. I have scans of forms my attorney filed with the SSA along with any written evidence. That is I have paper copies I had scanned for safer keeping which I have an undisclosable number of backup copies in undisclosable locations of. From your accent and pictures of The Beatles I would think you may be in England but I may easily be wrong. If that is the case I understand you would not know much about the USA but your videos are helpful anyhow.
As an addition to the comment, I would point out that I am aware that I should be seeing specialists. I just don't know which one to see. My claim could become a "bubble claim" some day if I don't start seeing doctors about it more frequently. I am not just afraid of biased doctors but I am afraid of the bills too. A bubble claim is a claim that typically lasts around 30 years and the claimant has lived in a metaphorical bubble still at home with his parents (I lived with my parents as long as they lived). I wonder which psychologists and psychiatrists are also the ones in schools. I am thinking if I find one of those that is my fairest shot at getting an honest opinion and not the opinion of some guy who the SSA doesn't pay enough and thus hates his job. I sometimes feel anxiety towards some situations like those. Maybe anxiety is part of autism or a similar disorder. I am the non hyperactive ADHD (code 314.00 in the DSM). I feel anxiety because I don't want to be homeless because of no money and still have the disorder.
Hi Dana let's be boyfriend and girlfriend let's get together and get married for real my name is Chad barto I love you too babe see you later this year
And I think you are so beautiful and pretty and cute girl too have you so hot and sweet let's meet at and text for real and have fun with you and have some time together and watch TV together and have dinner together I would like to live with you right now see you later honey
I think we've all had years or even decades of knowing we were "different" and considered "social misfits" without understanding why. Sometimes we had false beliefs that if we "just tried harder" or tried some new social strategies everything would fall into place. Discovering that autism is the explanation is a great revelation and gives us a much more realistic sense of ourselves.
Absolutely! Being able to have the understanding that I’m different without having something ‘wrong’ with me totally changed the way I feel about myself.
I had never met someone whose brain works like mine until I came across Temple Grandin and went from her to people she wrote or spoke of. If you are searching your brain and wonder "why?" read, research, listen to videos, and listen from your heart. You will begin to collect fragments of Self, and gradually you will see and feel connections forming within you as the fragments become the strongest part of you. It's never too late--I wondered through 74 years and am so glad to have answers to all the "why?s", and a peace I longed for all my life. Soon to be 76.
The longer I wait for my assessment, the more I learn & the more surprised I will be if I don't get diagnosed!
Note that they fail to diagnose all the time. Until recently doctors believed "girls can't be autistic" and many still believe BS like "you make eye contact, you can't be autistic" and the like. Most practicing psychiatrists/psychologist, unless dedicated time and studied autism specifically, are misinformed, based on stereotypes, and very shallow knowledge. The best is doctors that are either long story of working with autistic people, or even better themselves autistic (so they understand it internally, haven't just read about it in the DSM).
I realized after I figured out that I am autistic, that the kids in school that were the nicest to me were the kids who I am pretty sure had ADHD. Conversely I realized afterward also that in trying to survive, I wasn't always very kind to the kids who weren't quite as good at masking as I was. I try to have grace with myself about it even though I am ashamed about it. Growing up in the 90s was toxic AF.
It's not always about how loud a sound is,but the type of sound...
When I was a young teenager I remember doing an A3 pencil drawing of a little boy who was a little like Christopher Robin, with his little cap and satchel and shorts. And he was standing in the woods at the base of a huge old tree, looking up at it. The tree had this huge old wrinkled ancient kindly face. You could only really see the trunk because he was so big, like one of those Moreton Bay Fig trees. The little boy, who was facing away from the viewer, was involved in a conversation with the ancient tree.
In my mind, the boy was asking the tree questions about life,about how to deal with things, about the wisdom that the tree might have acquired from a long and varied life. Partly because he was having difficulty in knowing "how to be" in this confusing world. And the old tree was listening intently to the boy because he reminded him of himself when he was young, facing a world he didn't really understand. Wondering what he could say to the boy that might help. It was almost like a conversation across time.
I realised later in life that both characters were me.
I haven't been diagnosed but I'm wondering about it. I grew up thinking I was just weak and pathetic compared with other people. They all seemed to be able to cope with things I just couldn't bring myself to do or were just more comfortable particularly with social interaction. I figured it was social anxiety disorder for a very long time.. but I don't really get a fast heartbeat or the shakes (unless it's conflict), and I feel relatively comfortable talking to people about factual things. Social chatting is like being put on the spot to perform and they're expecting me to be able to handle it. It's like people expect you to be able to do ballet through a minefield while remaining composed. As if everyone gets trained to do this from a young age.
I've spent years searching for an explanation for why I'm such a waste of space and feel so incredibly poorly prepared for life when other people my age have moved out, got married, and had children. But I recognise that I'm far from stupid, so why can't I do this! I even feel shit compared with Autistic people because often they have moved out and live independently.
Not all autistic people have moved out and are independent. I moved out but I am on disability.
omg, I was the only one who could hear the buzzing in electronics that were plugged in as a kid, and it meant I only had battery operated things in my bedroom or else I couldn't sleep. It also made sleepovers horrible, with all the electronics that people had, tvs in particular. My plug in radio that I got later had to always be unplugged when I was done using it, too. Thankfully both electronics and fluorescent have improved, both in the sound and the flicker. But as a teen taking typing classes in high school, I made sure to sit at a new enough computer so that the screen didn't strobe with the fluorescent lights in the classroom, because I also have flicker vertigo (I didn't know that was what it was or what it was called at the time) and would get nauseous and develop migraines whenever we had to switch seats for a game our teacher liked us to play, because then I'd have to look at screens that were strobeing
I've gone through these cycles for a while. I thought they were just typical holiday depression, but I'm starting to realize how much of it is being due to be overwhelmed. I get tested next month.
that bit about not being able to imagine things and so being anxious about it, without knowing what could go wrong. first time ive heard someone describe that thing that i have.
I only found out about ‘social imagination’ during 2023 and it was a game changer, suddenly so easy to explain something I could never describe before!
@@DanaAndersen thanks for the name of it :) i will check it out.
@DanaAndersen "Social Imagination" would be a really interesting and useful topic to cover. Honestly, because it sounds like you have somewhat figured out what it really means. I think I get what you're saying, but would really love to hear more about some other maybe examples that you could point out? I definitely have trouble with this also. Thanks for the info either way!
I’m planning a video for the next week or so that’ll go into some of the lesser known autistic terms, like social imagination and interoception, that I feel like people aren’t super aware of but don’t really have enough to them to be an entire video, so keep an eye out for that!
ahh i love this series!! i resonate with so much that you said. i mainly started thinking about the possibility of being autistic because of stuff i saw on social media (i didn’t know any autistic people in my life) but i was uncertain about it for a month or so and then i hit a really bad autistic burnout a few months into sixth form and really started to notice sensory issues a lot more and overall it was obvious it was much more than a normal burnout. so i continued to do research and it became more and more evident in every aspect of my life. so here i am now, more than a year later and im so glad to understand myself better now :)
Happiness is a new Dana video
I like your shirt! Kids at school laughed at my clothes until I got so sick of the bullying and tried to dress more normal (in highschool).
The shirt looks great. Cheers. Happy New Year
Omg yess I get anxious for things I've done many of times!! You just explained it so well. That plus my adhd is the reason why driving in general and especially on the interstate is extremely hard. I drove from cali to tn fleeing an abusive relationship first time driving more than a hour and it was horrible but the emergency caused my adhd to hyperfocus and get through it. But I still cannot drive for more then a hour without my CNS shutting down from boredom and the horrible anxiety of getting on a interstate the first time during San diego rush hour
I'm nt, but the light and x-box sounds - and the flickering! - I'm so with you about that! Can't _stand_ it!
I remember when I was about seven, my father drove my brother who was 18 months younger than me to a birthday party of one of his classmates. My father was then going to head to a training session with our dog on a farm in the countryside, with me tagging along. In the street outside the party, all the kids were being dropped off. The "Dad" of the birthday child came over and told my father he should let me join the party. I protested. I didn't know any of them. But my arm was twisted and I felt I had no choice.
Inside the party, sitting round this large dining room table, were all these younger kids. Behind each one was a "mother" spooning creamy jelly and other sloppy party food into the mouths of these objectionable children. Each one was a total mess. And they were all talking and shouting at once. Chaos. It was like something out of a Pink Floyd movie! I was spared this horrific treatment! I felt so out of it, so alienated, that I didn't belong there at all. At one point I slipped quietly out of my chair and made my way out into the back garden. Nobody noticed.
There I found a couple of ponies that had been hired to give birthday rides, being looked after by this old wrinkled toothless black chap. I enjoyed interacting with the ponies for a while until I heard the dreaded noise of the other food soiled kids coming out for their rides. So I slipped round the side of the house where I found a flower bed of large hydrangeas and climbed beneath them. I sat there alone, watching the little bugs and caterpillars going about their business, for a couple of hours. Nobody came looking for me until my father arrived to pick me up, and I could hear my name being called. Nobody asked where I had been.
I have had that same feeling often in life. I remember it like it was yesterday. Well over 50 years later.
I'm a middle age autistic bloke who grew up in the 80s and 90s and I also always preferred old music from the 50s and 60s like Elvis Presley and the Beatles.
Do you think it’s common for neurodivergent people?
@@luxekook It looks like it is.
Until I went to an autism group I didn’t think I had many issues but it turns out I’m autistic as feck! Sensory issues galore 😩😂
So real! I swear everytime I hang out with my autistic pals I notice something new about myself 🫣😂
@@DanaAndersen 👍
I find your videos really helpful, I’ve got an assessment booked privately, I’m quite nervous 😬
I binged this series over the holidays and I am sooooo excited for another video in this series! 🌈💜🐮
I’m so glad people are still interested in it after I let it die for so many months 😂 Hopefully this ‘reboot’ is better than the older ones!
Omg. Have you ever heard of this TV show in America called ‘Punky Brewster’. you might get a kick out of her fashion sense
You’re not the first to recommend it to me, but it’s the prompt I need to finally google it 😂
@@DanaAndersen cue Nostalgia th-cam.com/video/WZi_-uEwCcs/w-d-xo.htmlsi=jEDS3VW6VREqBcEM
Wow, your are describing me. Thanks for the video!!
Great video! Supes helpful....ive spent like a decade on the am i/am i not? mostly in my head train of thought cos...well a few reasons. Lol! Anyway... totally helpful to hear more (eerily similar) life paths!! 😏😁
Thank you. That was insightful.
What I am wondering is how to communicate your learning and mental disabilities to your psychiatrist. This way an understated report from them that the SSA eventually gets does not cause the removal of benefits. This is a huge problem for people with any physical or mental disability and they might get sent to a consultative doctor paid by the SSA to do the exam. The problem is that a lot of times when that happens the report is biased and not in favor of the person receiving the benefits. They might fail to recognize the true severity of the condition and then the claimant's problems begin. I need to find a psychiatrist near me who can give a fair and honest evaluation and probably secretly hates taking the SSA's bribes to give them unfavorable reports. If a good psychiatrist like this is in the Pittsburgh Pennsylvania area that is great. The main reason I don't really go to one is because I am afraid that I might get a biased one. I attended a special school in East Liberty for people with learning disabilities and autism and similar conditions. All of my years of school were in special education. I have scans of forms my attorney filed with the SSA along with any written evidence. That is I have paper copies I had scanned for safer keeping which I have an undisclosable number of backup copies in undisclosable locations of. From your accent and pictures of The Beatles I would think you may be in England but I may easily be wrong. If that is the case I understand you would not know much about the USA but your videos are helpful anyhow.
As an addition to the comment, I would point out that I am aware that I should be seeing specialists. I just don't know which one to see. My claim could become a "bubble claim" some day if I don't start seeing doctors about it more frequently. I am not just afraid of biased doctors but I am afraid of the bills too. A bubble claim is a claim that typically lasts around 30 years and the claimant has lived in a metaphorical bubble still at home with his parents (I lived with my parents as long as they lived). I wonder which psychologists and psychiatrists are also the ones in schools. I am thinking if I find one of those that is my fairest shot at getting an honest opinion and not the opinion of some guy who the SSA doesn't pay enough and thus hates his job. I sometimes feel anxiety towards some situations like those. Maybe anxiety is part of autism or a similar disorder. I am the non hyperactive ADHD (code 314.00 in the DSM). I feel anxiety because I don't want to be homeless because of no money and still have the disorder.
Most psychiatrists probably aren't being paid by SSA.
Have a great day 😇
8:57 😸
You ? Hello then 🙂.
Hi Dana let's be boyfriend and girlfriend let's get together and get married for real my name is Chad barto I love you too babe see you later this year
And I think you are so beautiful and pretty and cute girl too have you so hot and sweet let's meet at and text for real and have fun with you and have some time together and watch TV together and have dinner together I would like to live with you right now see you later honey