I’m 48….Been talking to a gentleman, 58, I met at church. About a month in of getting to know him, last weekend to be exact, I told him that we were not a fit but I enjoyed the time getting to know him. I saw the signs of a controlling, manipulative, and toxic man well in advance of advancing the relationship. I would not have had the knowledge to see the red flags or the courage to easily walk away had it not been for this channel that I found about a year ago. Pastor Blakes, I thank God for you and for your teachings. Please stay close to God so that you can continue to operate in your gift.
Amen 👏 Candice. 🎈yes Mr RC Blakes open my eyes 👀 too I'm not ready for sex(6)if he's not going to respect that he can go don't mind ,coz I'm waiting for my husband ❤️🥂I'm at your same age dear u are not alone of waiting yeah he's good for no🙉
Yes, time limits. Never Allow a man to put you on layaway, because if he’s truly interested in you for eternity, he won’t contemplate the future with you 🎯
Yes! A guy friend told me about the "layaway." He's taking you off the market while he is still shopping; and may decide to stop making incremental payments after you've collected lots of dust on the shelf. He changes his time and now doesn't want to purchase you.
KEY POINTS: 1. It needs to be an honorable relationship. 2. It needs to be mutually beneficial. 3. It must be an ordained connection. 4. There needs to be mutual fulfillment. 5. Promises are the vultures of time and life. 6. You are hidden from your potential husband if you are in a limbo relationship. 7. You're training the next generation by your poor example. 8. Your self worth is constantly shrinking. 9. You develop a psychological dependence. 10. You'll try to force a man, who is not husband material, to be a husband. 11. You allowed the wrong man to break you. 12. Time is life and life is precious!!!
Your telling my whole story, except I married him. I wasted so much time, had his children, and stood beside him through hell. Whenever I needed him he was never around. I finally realized that he would never change and I was better off being a single mom. Now I write books and make TH-cam videos to help other women. Thank you for sharing this message.💕
Krystle Laughter, I think that the "dead end" marriage isn't talked about enough, alot of relationship gurus only talk about the importance of not wasting your time as a single woman who is dating. I wasted my time married to the wrong man as well, so I understand your experience, the only difference is that we didn't have any children and the marriage only lasted two years.
"As long as you leave yourself strung out on the promises of a man that cannot, will not, or won't commit you are off the market! As long as you stick with that you are off the market. You are off the market with no covenant, no commitment, no marriage or no honor. You are hidden from your potential husband. A husband is not looking for his wife in another man's bed." Wow wow wow what a word. Thank you!
You could really miss out on your husband by playing wife to a boyfriend. And that part about not being able to recognize the right one because you’ve been damaged by the wrong one. Wow your words went deep tonight and I have a lot to reflect on. Thank you for your voice. God bless you and your beautiful wife and family.
Re: Powerful🌟 I agree ☝️ Why buy the cow when the milk is free! I will not cook/clean for a man that’s not my husband. No invites to dinner because when I last looked that’s what men are supposed to do when dating a woman. Suggestions for outdoor pursuits are welcome ie playing badminton or tennis for fun 🎾 I’d pay for myself if that’s a problem 😏(which would be quietly noted) I would be able to see if he’s competitive or a sore loser! You see there is so much activities ppl can do to learn about a person’s personality & if ppl shoot ideas 💡 down by making excuses to not engage with your positive suggestions, that’s another reason why to not consider them & date multiple people without giving them your prime possession…Your Body! Im happy to tell ppl what I like about them followed by the word…however it’s such a shame…blah blah 😒 using collated proof. If they want you they’ll keep chasing the 🥕 & they’ll be intrigued how sweet that 🥕 actually is…abstinence is the key 🔑 A sexy kiss 💋 on the doorstep But That’s It…& not in my home nor in theirs on the sofa! Temptation is killer & the Devil knows your weaknesses…So BEWARE! God has an awesome plan for us…But remember The Devil 👿 is competing with The Lord & I know Who I’m Rooting For! Praise God!! Thank you JESUS!
I was with someone on and off for 7 years. Had he not forced my hand or let me go, I would still be hoping and wishing and pushing for a relationship that wasn't going anywhere. I was forced to dig deep and find myself. Did alot of meditation and praying and met my husband and within a year we were married. I'm grateful the ex forced my hand. I'm exactly where I was meant to be. I've been married 20 years.
It's a term which means one person put the other person in a position where they had ti do something they didn't want to do. So she's saying she wasn't going to move on willingly; had he not "forced her hand" she'd still be in a the relationship.
Goodafternon real good man will sacrifice too make you happy n also ask what ‘s you need help with n what ‘s your future goals ! A real good man will we’ve you roses , make should you have gas in your car , put god in his life n make you first properity , work too bones too make should everything at home is straight !
Amen! Ladies, get this in your head: "You're not in a hurry, but you don't have time to waste either!" Find out his intentions UP FRONT. Nine times out of 10 he's looking for a "hookup" and will tell you anything you want to hear. Steve Harvey said: "Ladies, a man knows within FOUR MONTHS if he wants you or not". Ladies, if you do not have a ring within 6 months of dating, and a wedding date set....MOVE ON!!! YOU are the PRIZE, and YOU are in control of the relationship. Always run a BACKGROUND CHECK on them to find out who they really are, and see all the LIES they've told you. (Never let him know. Just move on) This way, you don't allow him to waste your time! Keep your eyes and ears OPEN, and your mouth and legs CLOSED!!!!
It doesn’t take much time to see a man for who he is. Within 60 days you can determine if he’s a man of his word, has a relationship with god, loyal etc. let’s stop trying to change a man and accept who he is or move on…. Quickly
At ,53 recently divorced after 30 years. I'm here to tell you men still play games at this age. I was in a soul tie for two years, finally told myself I'm worth more. I backed off dating and told God what I wanted and he supplied me with a man that is everything. God first and all things after
This man is ridiculously WISE!! Thank you so much for teaching this 47 year old single mom of what I have been doing wrong for the last decade! Better late than ever.. I have so much hope! Thank you Jesus for RC Blake’s
Was stuck in a 5 year stronghold soul tied with mr wrong ….. but hey I’ve learned my lesson prayed and prayed for about a week and God released me from it . I am now choosing to follow my heart and be abstinent and wait on God to bring my husband my soulmate !!! Your videos helped me make that decision officially. ( edit) been a year since I’ve slept with him . After the prayers . But just recently decided to be abstinent over all
I also put a 5 year mark to marry me and he discarded me just before the mark. But it’s been 2 months still going thru it but I have a lot more peace. He was a narcissist and I went thru hell. But now it’s my time to heal. Getting there with Gods help and family.
5 years is too much of my time to be wasted. But, I am proud of you for your decision to do it God's way. I decided not to count the time, when I rededicated myself to abstinance, a few years ago. It's very empowering and helps me to stay focused and to weed out the "bad apples." Concerning, the withdrawals, I finally prayed and asked God to make it bearable ("turn off the faucet") until I marry, and he did.
I’m exactly at that place myself.with regards to abstinence & waiting for my Father God, to make the selection for me. I will not allow my integrity to be compromised anymore. I’ve been a good supporting loving partner in the past, I’m waiting for the man from God my father, who recognises & above all appreciates what a Nubian Queen looks & feels like & will understand Trying Before Buying…doesn’t apply here…as there are many places to go, for that type of arrangement & that place isn’t here! RC Blakes is awesome 👏🏽 & has been so helpful in his guidance over the years & has strengthened me by confirming what I have known to be true…& taking me to the next level to Victory ✌️ Thank You 🙏 Jesus!!
Pastor Blakes has changed my life as a woman. I was in a dark place. Listening to Pastor Blakes changed my understanding of how precious I am to God and should not allow myself to be used, misused or manipulated by men. Thank you Lord and Pastor Blakes. Wish I had known it years ago. I know now and act accordingly.
Ladies, I need advice, and I would like to have your comments responded to my comment. However, first thing first, I love everything the pastor said. As a man, I respect what he said in Proverbs 12:15, which says, "The way of a fool is right in his own eyes: but he that hearkeneth unto counsel is wise." so in my situation where my four-year-old girlfriend ended our relationship with me because I felt it was imperative to have premarital counseling as I thought there were some things needed in our relationship that I felt in past incidents that it needed to be addressed. Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt Love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy command. This is the first and greatest commandment. I felt at times that there was no representation of our Lord Jesus Christ in the relationship. I count myself in this, too, with my behavior as some arguments were thrown with profane and vulgar language toward each other, and I felt something like this needed to be addressed. Proverbs 15:1 says a soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger." so in past times, our words caused a negative mark in her spirit and also mine with her words with both of our mean words, although I love her. I just felt therapy and premarital counseling were needed, but it was rejected, so what other choice did I have because this was something important to me? Revelations 21:4 says God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away. Our words toward each other caused hurt, pain, tears, sadness, and grief, so as much as I would love to marry my than woman, for some reason, she is not open to self-evaluation through a premarital pastor. So, ladies on here, what choice did I have? I can't marry someone whom we both used hurt toward each other, and although great times and unforgettable memories will always be in my heart, I can't marry someone where the individual chooses not to address some of the issues we had in the past. So when I was given an ultimatum, all I could remember was when the bible said in. 1 Corinthians 13:7-8, "Love never gives up, trusts God always, keeps going to the end. Love never fails." So, if you let me go because I won't get married simply because I want a pastor to pray over us by providing us with pastoral sessions, then ladies on here, what advice can you give me? Am I in the wrong?
Same here we were together for 4 years and 5 months and I was so patient waiting for things to get better but it was going nowhere, he is not ready to man up he still wants to live a baby boy life . We have a son together but I didn't let that stop me I ended the relationship.
Me too I checked out of the relationship 4 days before our 4 yr anniversary after a huge argument we had. He said some pretty hurtful things like he always does when we argue but this time I was done. And moved out exactly a month later. He was a covert narcissist. I ignored the signs the verbal abuse mental manipulation for years. I gave him a deadline for marriage and realized he would literate wait until the day of if he ever proposed. After I shut down on him he start picking up the pace. It was too late. Today I am much stronger and 21 days no contact. I’m in counseling and listening to TH-cams like this to continue to build myself back up. Thanks for y’all testimony. It’s sad to hear but glad I’m not alone. 🙏🏽 for all you ladies
This message is the comfort, I wish my younger self would have known present day. Wasted years on a toxic relationship going no where fast! Thank You, for your words bishop.
Same. I wasted 10 years, no marriage, no children. My family was hard on me but I didn't listen at the beginning and through out, now I've learned my lesson
It's easy to get wrapped up into a situationships because your afraid to ask what are we? Are we getting married 🧎? Or to say I don't like this 🤷... Most don't want to lose them ,but guess what you have already lost🤷 because you can't get time back and before you know it they will leave you for someone else and say to you "WELL YOU NEVER ASKED AND I TOLD YOU I DIDN'T WANT A RELATIONSHIP!!🙄🤦🤦 Just had this conversation today and needles to say I gotta do me a year is more than enough time time to know what you want and if this ain't it I gotta go 😎🚶live your self more ladies and speak affirmations to your self daily .... people will only treat you the way you let them 🙏❤️
My time limit was 3 years but that’s too much to invest. Now it’s 2. I realized that 6 months to a year is not enough time to get enough data. I always saw the real man at a years time. Mask falls off within 6 months to a year if he’s not that serious. Dating is not easy these days, too many men that want all the benefits with no real investment. So for me dating is going to be different. It’s going to be about gathering data to determine is he worth my time. No lingering waiting on empty promises. Thank you RC. I need you videos because no was not taught this knowledge.
@@yes_i_said_it_ 😂😂😂🤣 One year is typically when the mask falls off when it’s the wrong person yes. That doesn’t mean you still don’t need time for other potentials🙄 If things go smoothly 2 years. I hope that was simple enough for you😂
I'm not wasting anymore time in any more relationships I'm pretty sure RC blakes struck a lot of nerves with this one because it's nothing but the truth and a lot of men don't like this type of talk because it's playing their hand💯.
After 40, you can figure it out in about 30 days. 60 tops. A seemingly great person can take 4-6 months to really figure out but alot dont get that far. I will never waste a year on anyone. After 4 years of being single and working on being the type of person I want to see show up (and covid) I'm not playing these daying games. I found the best thing ever within the last 4 years. Me!❤
This is going to be good I know. I wish someone had told me these things a long time ago. Single people need to watch your videos, especially the ones on a man's energy.
Yes sir! I've met women who aren't a wife in character and who aren't a good example for the next generation but want to get married. Thank you sir. I'm going to take my time and do it right because he who finds a wife finds a good thing.
I blocked his number after watching this video, I was going to give another weekend…waiting for his phone calls, I am finding myself getting weaker and weaker, holding on to something that only makes me feel worse and worse about myself…I know there is a time limit, a time limit that I will have enough, this has been going on and on and on, thanks for your video, I felt a little bit stronger after listening to your video, I will keep watching your videos and find more truth and gain more strength from it. I trust I will get better and better, I have more than enough good things in my life, this is the only thing that makes me unhappy, not having a fulfilled relationship, I need to be happy within myself, get my feet on, build up strong body and strong soul, I will get there, thank you!
This is going to be a good one! I always tell my girlfriends, it does not take a man five years or more to figure out whether you are Mrs. right! Give him 2 years!
2 years is still to long. You could imagine wasting 2 years on each man? That adds up. As for me 3-6 months is the longest I'll be going. Men know from jump if your a toy or his wife.
I’m 56 but I’ve only had 2 relationships. 1 for 33 years and we got divorced. Then this 5 years nightmare of a relationship. Now I have to be wiser and pray for God to send me a Godly man.
Take a brief 'sabbatical' from men and let the Lord be your ALL. You need to heal and learn more about who you are in Christ and who Christ is. More time in the word and I suggest, serve others.
Amen Sis!!! I'm 53, divorced 12yrs, & am learning to ask God to choose me to be a wife; cause it's not up to me!! Abstinent now 7mths...& content!!💃💃👑👑🙌🙌💪💪🔥🔥😍😍🙏🙏
@@Jane5720 Right you are Jane! I took a lengthy sabbatical from relationships/ men and it was the best decision ever. I learned to love me and I got closer to God. Found my assignment/ calling too!
💡I sent this to women that I love and I know deserve more. We get so caught up with dishonor cause it's been made to look normal. When it's NOT! Leaving strong & loyal women hurt, broken not realizing their true worth. Let's Heal correctly women of God. The goal is marriage before none other than GOD🙏🏽💪🏽👏🏾💯
Ladies, I need advice, and I would like to have your comments responded to my comment. However, first thing first, I love everything the pastor said. As a man, I respect what he said in Proverbs 12:15, which says, "The way of a fool is right in his own eyes: but he that hearkened unto counsel is wise." so in my situation where my four-year-old girlfriend ended our relationship with me because I felt it was imperative to have premarital counseling as I thought there were some things needed in our relationship that I felt in past incidents that it needed to be addressed. Jesus said unto him, thou shalt Love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy command. This is the first and greatest commandment. I felt at times that there was no representation of our Lord Jesus Christ in the relationship. I count myself in this, too, with my behavior as some arguments were thrown with profane and vulgar language toward each other, and I felt something like this needed to be addressed. Proverbs 15:1 says a soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger." so in past times, our words caused a negative mark in her spirit and also mine with her words with both of our mean words, although I love her. I just felt therapy and premarital counseling were needed, but it was rejected, so what other choice did I have because this was something important to me? Revelations 21:4 says God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away. Our words toward each other caused hurt, pain, tears, sadness, and grief, so as much as I would love to marry my than woman, for some reason, she is not open to self-evaluation through a premarital pastor. So, ladies on here, what choice did I have? I can't marry someone whom we both used hurt toward each other, and although great times and unforgettable memories will always be in my heart, I can't marry someone where the individual chooses not to address some of the issues we had in the past. So, when I was given an ultimatum, all I could remember was when the bible said in. 1 Corinthians 13:7-8, "Love never gives up, trusts God always, keeps going to the end. Love never fails." So, if you let me go because I won't get married simply because I want a pastor to pray over us by providing us with pastoral sessions, then ladies on here, what advice can you give me? Am I in the wrong?
I am not a Christian. But your teachings about relationship 🙏. Lifesaver. Thank you so much for the effort you put into making these video for us women to open our eyes to reality. Bless you!
“Now you’re looking at the right man with the kind of eyes you should have been looking at the wrong man with in the beginning” 💯 I have had to learn to be discerning, wise, intentional, observant and to stand up for my values and to not be afraid to stand up and say NO to the wrong men. You have helped me so much. Thank you! God is so good and He will restore the years that the locus have eaten. Amen❤️
This also applies to other relationships such as platonic friendships both males and females, neighbors, co-workers, church members, family members, etc. I have followed the advice you set out here with respect to romantic relationships with men, but I am finally observing that I have invested too much of my time, commitment, money, support, dedication on friendships that were one-sided and exploitative and the same goes for relationships with family members, neighbors. co-workers, church members, etc. I have decided to apply the same rules you talk about in this video to those relationships too! Frankly I am exhausted from dealing with users and takers in all areas of my life. Thank you Bishop RC Blakes for your amazing videos.
Sista, you broke that "ALL THA WAY DOWN"!!🙌🙌🤣🤣💃💃👑👑💪💪🙏🙏👋👋!!! INVENTORYING ALL THE PEOPLE AROUND MY LIFE, WHO TAKE & ARE NOT INVESTORS!! HALLELUJAH!!🙌🙌💃💃😍😍👑👑🙏🙏 GOD BLESS YOU GIRLLY!!🤣💪💃👑😍🙏
I’ve never felt the need to create a TH-cam account. I’ve never subscribed to anything before. Seemed pointless till I came across your videos. I have gained so much knowledge and wisdom. Your words align with Gods truth. You are transparent and tell it how it is. Thank you Jesus for this man. I’m sorry it took your beautiful wife leaving you back in the day for God to open your eyes but clearly He makes all things work together. Thank you for your time. May God bless you and your family.
"Your time is the greatest in investment you can make" Pastor R.C Blake's. Preaching to my soul...thank you, thank you. God bless you and Lisa, your family, and friends.
I lived this, and the pain lingers with you long after you end it... the pain of the situationship has to eventually overcome any amount of 'pleasure' you extract from the mans inconsistent attentions, and its a low, low place to be. Luckily I was 21-23 during that time... but yall I'm 25 now and when I say I'm still healing, phew, not because of him or anything... but because ive had to address what was so broken inside of me to even allow it to happen. Its been a journey to recover to learn how to conduct myself in a way that commands respect and self worth. I'm watching this now, because I don't want to ever make that mistake again.
I am so grateful for RC Blakes' ministry, but at the same time I'm angry. I really should have gotten this wisdom from my very own mother & father. Now I'm 47 and trying to learn by looking here, and it hurts.
My brother been tieing up a woman life for 28 years. He lives in the woman house, still live like a single person in some regards, not considering marriage, and have 2 grown-up children with the woman. Everyone in the family told the woman my brother was not marrying her ever. The woman said she don't care about getting married at this point cause she been with him for 28years. It's sad she doesn't value herself and given him most of her entire life with no real commitment.
You have no idea just how very important you are to so many of us. I watch your videos from Lesotho and I wish I had started watching when I was 16. I'm 26 now. It's not too late. Your words are like the much needed rain in the hot dry season. God speaks through you. He heals our souls through you. Data is very expensive here but I watch on credit airtime. I keep watching and never wanna stop.
You would also make a great secular counselor. I have never understood the Bible until discovering your channel you have made the Bible lessons relevant regardless of religion
This is by far one of the best videos I’ve ever heard on relationships and wasting time. I’ve experienced it and truly know that this is truth in every aspect. God bless 💕
"Proverbs 20:6 many a man proclaims his own loyalty and goodness but who can find a man, but who can find a faithful and trustworthy man." He said a word there
I stopped this video several times and cried 😞😞. It definitely hit home because I'm a 55 year old woman and I've been in a relationship like this now for almost it will be 2years in November.
I’m so grateful for your guidance. You’re speaking some hard truths, but the truths that resonate with many women whether they understand biblical masculine/feminine truth or not. You’re speaking the truth of God’s divine covenant. The NATURAL law. I appreciate you. And I am sending your videos to my community. I know I am a white woman, but the color of the skin is no difference when it comes to matters of the soul. Continue in this education and preaching. I applaud you !
If you’re planning to stay, hold back on the sexual side of your relationship…take power in rejecting him in an “ever so nice way”. Look you very best when he visits you, enjoy the attention thank him for the compliments, but SAY NO! Have him scratching his head & asking what’s going on! Talk about the sex…tell him the sex has been great & talk about various incidents highlighting that…ask him if he enjoyed it & how. Then he may say, well what’s wrong & you’ll say I want a Husband now & getting my body ready for him…. He can interpret that in any way he likes 👍🏾 If he’s the one ☝️ he will step up ⬆️ but make it clear he’s had total exclusivity for the past 7 years & you’re pursuing other possibilities without sexual activity.
@@johannaalexander2009 Naw, if she has to do all of that for which you suggested...then he would just marry her to keep his 'security blanket" and not because he really wants to be married to her. It would be a move to pacify her.
I attended a chapel funeral of my best friends ex, which she has a 42 year old son with. Near the rear of the chapel a woman was crying profusely. I wondered who is the woman, she's obviously not a close family member. After the service I mentioned the woman to my friend. She responded " that's the woman he lived with for 35 years. After he died, the family took over, she did not have any input in the service, wasn't allowed to ride in the family limousine, not allowed to sit up front with the family. No retirement benefits, no social security benefits, no military benefits. Nothing but tears.
What a hateful family! And if that is the kind of family he came from I would not have want to marry in that family! My uncle had a lady he lived with for 25 years named Dorthy and when he passed away my mom was the beneficary on his life insurance and she just gave it too her! We allowed her to make the arrangements, she was a lovely woman and kind but my uncle was not so much so. Humans can be so hateful! But I am with you, I am not allowing man to enter my body who is not my husband!
Jesus this is terribly sad, 35 years just to be regarded as the woman he lived with My mama always said a man will waste your time if you allow him to Marriage is not just a title , its security, and protection
If you're gonna spend time to a person: 1. It needs to be an honourable relationship; 2. There has to be mutual benefit; 3. It ought to be an ordained connection; 4. There's mutual fulfillment.
I have been through a lot of situationships. Learning about myself and my value has made me stronger. Thank You RC Blakes. I am growing older but I am happy.
It's hard, but be happy in your singleness. It gets easier when you pray daily to our Father in heaven. He hears all, and he NEVER BREAKS PROMISES. In Jesus mighty name. Amen!
From London Brixton UK. Women, black sisters. You set the standard, of how someone will treat you. Stop accepting crumbs. Just to have a man in your life. I am Lucky to know this, from my Dad.
Thank God for Pastor Blake's advice. I am a new woman. This video speaks exactly to something I just dealt with. I used to end up in situationships that drug on for years. I just ended a potential relationship after a month. He did everything right for first 2 weeks then he did a 180. I was busy living my own life and didn't notice he had slacked off. Once I paid attention, I texted him and told him to please leave me alone since he basically had already done that. I also said if he was not going to help reduce stress in my life, he was essentially a stress factor. I went to sleep peacefully and feel good about cutting my loses early. He was not it. God has someone who He intends for me.
Nobody knows how valuable time is until it's gone. And nobody knows how much we really have. Not only in relationships but everything we do in a daily basis. The only return on your time is with the one true God! Eternity is a very long time🙏 God bless everyone!
You have been a blessing in my life. Everything you teach about is so true. I have learnt a lot listening to you over the years. Became wiser ever since I met you. I realised NOW that I am a Queen. The word of God you use seals the deal. Thank you and may God continue to bless you and your family. IJN. Amen!
His voice and his wisdom is life. Very grateful for you pastor Blakes. Thank you for helping so many women.. All generations to come will b blessed by the work you've done
Pastor, you have pegged me just right. This was a difficult message to hear. This is my story to a tee. Now I'm out here with nothing to show for all my wasted years. I have been a very foolish woman and I pray that God gives me the strength and guidance to rebuild my life. Thank you for sharing your wisdom.
Most of us wish we knew sooner... sometimes it just hurts to listen to this, cause many years have been wasted. Those we never get back. Especially women who have waited and waited, no kids, no husband and over thirty.
I know it can be hard to hear. When you're enlightened and inclined to hear, don't waist another second in regretting what you didn't know, love! Absorb the knowledge and apply the wisdom, now!! God is always perfect in all His ways and our best life is in His plans not ours!
God says in Joel 2:25. So l will restore to you the years the swarming locust has eaten, the crawling locusts, the consuming locust and the chewing locust. Know a thousands days to man is a day unto the Lord, just change from the wrong ways and pursue the right, He is the God who can rewind time to fixed it for His glory. Thanks RC Blakes,Jr for the enlightenment and eye opening.
Omg!! I relate to the whole video my heart and soul got sick from a hopeful relationship I didn't listen to anyone I didn't know what happened I stooped so low off my standards in Hope's of my relationship of 6 years I became a fiance and he didn't stop showing me I wasn't good enough I was broken I didn't know how to leave we had no ties together except a soul tie it took for him to give me a concussion to the head my light bulb came on even then I sat in disbelief of everything that happened to me I have am on my healing journey this was 1 month ago each day is a gift I'm not completely healed from the concussion just yet but time heals everything I am so grateful for Pastor Blake's video's 🤲🏾 the enlightenment has blessed me tremendously
I have introduced Bishop R..C to everybody I know. they always give me their feedback on the videos and what I tell them that I watch these videos over and over and over I have to get it in my SOUL!!!!!!! So that I NEVER FORGET!!!!!
Yes... let's talk about this because some of these jokers out here acting like I have time to waste on pointless dating/hook-ups. I don't. And when I've tried to do this it has left me frustrated due to compromising my very existence. I'm ready for this Sir🙌🏽
I'm feeling you, sis. I'm not compromising with them either. They want the choice price, without putting in the relationship work. It's not happening with me.
Been there, done that! Ladies, two things you cannot afford to lose: "Time & money." DO NOT allow these dusties to waste your time by running a background check on him FIRST! This way you'll KNOW who he is, not who he's "pretending" to be. DO NOT: have sex with him, let him move in, borrow your car, lend him money, "help him start a business", etc. A player & a con won't stay around long. "Hit & Run" is their game. Don't believe a word he says, watch his ACTIONS. Work on YOU and become independent. You don't "need" a man for anything once you have your own money, home, car, career, credit, investments, etc.
RC BLAKES JR. you brought it with this one sir!! I listen alllllll the time but this here HIT home. Black women need to listen to this EVERYDAY for a year! This message is VITAL! 🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾 I thank GOD for YOU!👑
I been waiting for this answer for over 3 years. Exactly what I ask the Holy Spirit to show me. Thank you Pastor Blake’s you are the father that I don’t have. 🙏
Always a man of wisdom. 26 yrs married to the wrong man that became a Christian after we married and prayed that God would save my marriage since we were both Christians. Pastors encouraged me to stay but "I WILL RECOVER ALL!" Wish I knew you even 10 years ago. Thank you for your wisdom🙏🏾
I was told this years ago: "To truly break off a relationship, "soul-tie" etc. with a man is to STOP sleeping with him!" It won't be easy, but it works EVERY time.
My motto: Milk, eggs, and cheese have an expiration date! Know your self worth. If you know you're marriage material, don't allow anybody to waste your time!!! Within a year, they should know. If you have save yourself for marriage, your mind/heart will not be cloudy. Say to them, 'This isn't working for me" and walk away with a clean slate. And another thing, if you can't see someone in your future, stop dating them!!!!
Even though I've been married for 28 years and seperated for 3, I see all of the 7 signs within our current attempt to reunite within the past year of waiting for him to fully commit to our relationship...this is a real eye opener!
@@johannaalexander2009 Honestly...it's a bag of mixed emotions. I'm searching through prayer, discernment and observation over feelings right now regarding our relationship. I carry hope because he is saying and doing the right things, but I also have disenchantment because I am seeing old patterns rear their ugly head. The first two years apart allowed me to discover who I was again, fix things within myself and afford him the time to heal and work on himself as well. This third year of still living apart, couple's therapy, dates, conversation and boundaries are part of what is bringing clarity. However, there is a time limit set because I don't want to repeat his parent's 20+ year separation (I see patterns that she still carries...also being loosed, but not free)
I wish I had the opportunity years ago to to listen to the type of videos you’re sharing on this channel. Thank you for being candid on relationship issues and how to deal with it from a Biblical standpoint.
You preaching better than they’re shoutin 🤷🏽♀️😇. This is perfectly practical advice. TY for all that you do. You are love and we love you back, Blake’s🙏🏽
Wow what a Word. No soul ties, no entanglements, no commitment, no honor, and no trust: = time to let go, leave and exit. The reality is that that situation isnt getting any better for you‼️ So choose yourself: Choose self-love and Choose the Savior Jesus, he can Heal, Comfort and Keep you🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾
This spoke to me! I was strung along for almost 14 years before i decided to leave. The relationship was never going anywhere. I knew it 10 years ago. All those years wasted 😩 and the fact he wanted it to be a secret. Because he’s private 🙄
Thank you for telling all of us the truth!!! About these situationships!!! And we will heal and move forward and not allow ourselves to waist our lives on Nonsense!!!!
RIGHT. ON. TIME.!!!!!! Thank you Bishop, I needed this....Truly, truly, truly the Father I never had! May God continue to bless you and keep you!❤️💕❤️💕
I’m 48….Been talking to a gentleman, 58, I met at church. About a month in of getting to know him, last weekend to be exact, I told him that we were not a fit but I enjoyed the time getting to know him. I saw the signs of a controlling, manipulative, and toxic man well in advance of advancing the relationship. I would not have had the knowledge to see the red flags or the courage to easily walk away had it not been for this channel that I found about a year ago. Pastor Blakes, I thank God for you and for your teachings. Please stay close to God so that you can continue to operate in your gift.
Candice E., what a powerful story. Your sharing this will help so many women.
+)000
Exactly, that guy has been here on earth a little over half of a century...he isn't going to change.
Amen 👏 Candice. 🎈yes Mr RC Blakes open my eyes 👀 too I'm not ready for sex(6)if he's not going to respect that he can go don't mind ,coz I'm waiting for my husband ❤️🥂I'm at your same age dear u are not alone of waiting yeah he's good for no🙉
Alright know sister
Prime example of this is Nelly & Miss Jackson. Nearly 10 years wasted, no marriage no alimony or anything! Men will waste our time easily!
Yes and the women on that show that comes on OWN “Put a ring on it”
@@ms.a806 Hollywood & Ashley
@@pooh4025 there’s a new season and one of the women has been a girlfriend for 14 years smh
@@ms.a806 ohh yeah Alexia (think that's her name) plus she should have been gone after he had 3 kids on her.
People can only accept or waste whatever they are given. She gave her time away.
Yes, time limits. Never Allow a man to put you on layaway, because if he’s truly interested in you for eternity, he won’t contemplate the future with you 🎯
Yes, layaway perfect example
Yes! A guy friend told me about the "layaway." He's taking you off the market while he is still shopping; and may decide to stop making incremental payments after you've collected lots of dust on the shelf. He changes his time and now doesn't want to purchase you.
Amen my sister I just learned my lesson!!
Wow.deep
THISS!!
KEY POINTS:
1. It needs to be an honorable relationship.
2. It needs to be mutually beneficial.
3. It must be an ordained connection.
4. There needs to be mutual fulfillment.
5. Promises are the vultures of time and life.
6. You are hidden from your potential husband if you are in a limbo relationship.
7. You're training the next generation by your poor example.
8. Your self worth is constantly shrinking.
9. You develop a psychological dependence.
10. You'll try to force a man, who is not husband material, to be a husband.
11. You allowed the wrong man to break you.
12. Time is life and life is precious!!!
Very helpful!
Thank you for the help. HmG. Wooòòo.this is true.
Thank you so much 😊
👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
Thank you sister Marilyn. God bless you and family. 🙏🕊
Wow 💎“ A masculine man claims his territory “
Your telling my whole story, except I married him. I wasted so much time, had his children, and stood beside him through hell. Whenever I needed him he was never around. I finally realized that he would never change and I was better off being a single mom. Now I write books and make TH-cam videos to help other women. Thank you for sharing this message.💕
What's your yt channel sis?
What's your YT ?
Well Done! By the way which uTube channel are you on.
Same as you but I didn't marry him .....I was like this is unfixable ...
Krystle Laughter, I think that the "dead end" marriage isn't talked about enough, alot of relationship gurus only talk about the importance of not wasting your time as a single woman who is dating. I wasted my time married to the wrong man as well, so I understand your experience, the only difference is that we didn't have any children and the marriage only lasted two years.
Sometimes you need to let your heart break so your soul can heal ❤️
"As long as you leave yourself strung out on the promises of a man that cannot, will not, or won't commit you are off the market! As long as you stick with that you are off the market. You are off the market with no covenant, no commitment, no marriage or no honor. You are hidden from your potential husband. A husband is not looking for his wife in another man's bed." Wow wow wow what a word. Thank you!
I had to rewind that part a few times. 😫😫😫😫💯
This a powerful word, Glory to God
Amen
It is so true
When he said “A man will stretch a woman’s life out for decades with promises and never follow through” whew
I had to learn my self-worth and not allow a man to waste my time with nonsense🙂
You could really miss out on your husband by playing wife to a boyfriend. And that part about not being able to recognize the right one because you’ve been damaged by the wrong one. Wow your words went deep tonight and I have a lot to reflect on. Thank you for your voice. God bless you and your beautiful wife and family.
🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾😩
Re: Powerful🌟 I agree ☝️ Why buy the cow when the milk is free! I will not cook/clean for a man that’s not my husband.
No invites to dinner because when I last looked that’s what men are supposed to do when dating a woman.
Suggestions for outdoor pursuits are welcome ie playing badminton or tennis for fun 🎾 I’d pay for myself if that’s a problem 😏(which would be quietly noted) I would be able to see if he’s competitive or a sore loser!
You see there is so much activities ppl can do to learn about a person’s personality & if ppl shoot ideas 💡 down by making excuses to not engage with your positive suggestions, that’s another reason why to not consider them & date multiple people without giving them your prime possession…Your Body! Im happy to tell ppl what I like about them followed by the word…however it’s such a shame…blah blah 😒 using collated proof. If they want you they’ll keep chasing the 🥕 & they’ll be intrigued how sweet that 🥕 actually is…abstinence is the key 🔑 A sexy kiss 💋 on the doorstep But That’s It…& not in my home nor in theirs on the sofa!
Temptation is killer & the Devil knows your weaknesses…So BEWARE! God has an awesome plan for us…But remember The Devil 👿 is competing with The Lord & I know Who I’m Rooting For! Praise God!! Thank you JESUS!
Or playing wife to a situationship 🤭 can really block ya blessings
@@amiralove3539 that part!
Facts on facts
I was with someone on and off for 7 years. Had he not forced my hand or let me go, I would still be hoping and wishing and pushing for a relationship that wasn't going anywhere. I was forced to dig deep and find myself. Did alot of meditation and praying and met my husband and within a year we were married. I'm grateful the ex forced my hand. I'm exactly where I was meant to be. I've been married 20 years.
What does forced my hand mean?
It's a term which means one person put the other person in a position where they had ti do something they didn't want to do. So she's saying she wasn't going to move on willingly; had he not "forced her hand" she'd still be in a the relationship.
@@LadyBugShaun exactly.
If we don’t love ourselves enough to walk away this is what happens!
Goodafternon real good man will sacrifice too make you happy n also ask what ‘s you need help with n what ‘s your future goals ! A real good man will we’ve you roses , make should you have gas in your car , put god in his life n make you first properity , work too bones too make should everything at home is straight !
At my age, a man who enters my life has 1yr to date me. Then, he must make the decision to either propose marriage or get to stepping. Periodt
Amen! Ladies, get this in your head: "You're not in a hurry, but you don't have time to waste either!" Find out his intentions UP FRONT. Nine times out of 10 he's looking for a "hookup" and will tell you anything you want to hear. Steve Harvey said: "Ladies, a man knows within FOUR MONTHS if he wants you or not".
Ladies, if you do not have a ring within 6 months of dating, and a wedding date set....MOVE ON!!! YOU are the PRIZE, and YOU are in control of the relationship. Always run a BACKGROUND CHECK on them to find out who they really are, and see all the LIES they've told you. (Never let him know. Just move on) This way, you don't allow him to waste your time! Keep your eyes and ears OPEN, and your mouth and legs CLOSED!!!!
Amen!
@@roses4me451 I completely agree to this
❤💪
@@roses4me451 YES!!! 💯💯💯💯
It doesn’t take much time to see a man for who he is. Within 60 days you can determine if he’s a man of his word, has a relationship with god, loyal etc. let’s stop trying to change a man and accept who he is or move on…. Quickly
Amen!
Amen And Amen .🙏🏾
@@normamay8020
EXACTLY
FACTS!
It took me 6 months but my relationship lasted 3 years I gave too many chances
At ,53 recently divorced after 30 years. I'm here to tell you men still play games at this age. I was in a soul tie for two years, finally told myself I'm worth more. I backed off dating and told God what I wanted and he supplied me with a man that is everything. God first and all things after
I’ve always felt happier and more empowered about the men I didn’t sleep with, than the men I did. Good lessons. Now it’s celibacy until marriage. 👍
Amen 🙏
Ame
That is great dear.
Yes!
Same here!
Excited about this one!! So glad I came across this man of God! It’s like the father I never had 🙏🏾
Totally Agree
Yes God's sent. Divine wisdom from the upper realm. Blessings to his Family and Ministry.
Righttttttt the struggle has been real out here without him.
@@michellejohn7470 8eee333e33
💯
This man is ridiculously WISE!! Thank you so much for teaching this 47 year old single mom of what I have been doing wrong for the last decade! Better late than ever.. I have so much hope! Thank you Jesus for RC Blake’s
Was stuck in a 5 year stronghold soul tied with mr wrong ….. but hey I’ve learned my lesson prayed and prayed for about a week and God released me from it . I am now choosing to follow my heart and be abstinent and wait on God to bring my husband my soulmate !!! Your videos helped me make that decision officially. ( edit) been a year since I’ve slept with him . After the prayers . But just recently decided to be abstinent over all
I also put a 5 year mark to marry me and he discarded me just before the mark. But it’s been 2 months still going thru it but I have a lot more peace. He was a narcissist and I went thru hell. But now it’s my time to heal. Getting there with Gods help and family.
Girl 1 week is nothing wait until u go through withdrawals @Booked Busy & Blessed
5 years is too much of my time to be wasted. But, I am proud of you for your decision to do it God's way. I decided not to count the time, when I rededicated myself to abstinance, a few years ago. It's very empowering and helps me to stay focused and to weed out the "bad apples." Concerning, the withdrawals, I finally prayed and asked God to make it bearable ("turn off the faucet") until I marry, and he did.
✨❤️✨❗️
I’m exactly at that place myself.with regards to abstinence & waiting for my Father God, to make the selection for me. I will not allow my integrity to be compromised anymore. I’ve been a good supporting loving partner in the past, I’m waiting for the man from God my father, who recognises & above all appreciates what a Nubian Queen looks & feels like & will understand Trying Before Buying…doesn’t apply here…as there are many places to go, for that type of arrangement & that place isn’t here! RC Blakes is awesome 👏🏽 & has been so helpful in his guidance over the years & has strengthened me by confirming what I have known to be true…& taking me to the next level to Victory ✌️ Thank You 🙏 Jesus!!
Invested 8 years and finally said "I'm Done".
I thought I was alone 😂
Same sis🙌🏾🧡
Girl same..8 exact years and cut my losses..happier
A man that wants you will pursue you.
They will pursue but often it's sport. If he truly wants you, he'll propose.
Pastor Blakes has changed my life as a woman. I was in a dark place. Listening to Pastor Blakes changed my understanding of how precious I am to God and should not allow myself to be used, misused or manipulated by men. Thank you Lord and Pastor Blakes. Wish I had known it years ago. I know now and act accordingly.
Ladies, I need advice, and I would like to have your comments responded to my comment. However, first thing first, I love everything the pastor said. As a man, I respect what he said in Proverbs 12:15, which says, "The way of a fool is right in his own eyes: but he that hearkeneth unto counsel is wise." so in my situation where my four-year-old girlfriend ended our relationship with me because I felt it was imperative to have premarital counseling as I thought there were some things needed in our relationship that I felt in past incidents that it needed to be addressed. Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt Love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy command. This is the first and greatest commandment. I felt at times that there was no representation of our Lord Jesus Christ in the relationship. I count myself in this, too, with my behavior as some arguments were thrown with profane and vulgar language toward each other, and I felt something like this needed to be addressed. Proverbs 15:1 says a soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger." so in past times, our words caused a negative mark in her spirit and also mine with her words with both of our mean words, although I love her. I just felt therapy and premarital counseling were needed, but it was rejected, so what other choice did I have because this was something important to me? Revelations 21:4 says God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away. Our words toward each other caused hurt, pain, tears, sadness, and grief, so as much as I would love to marry my than woman, for some reason, she is not open to self-evaluation through a premarital pastor. So, ladies on here, what choice did I have? I can't marry someone whom we both used hurt toward each other, and although great times and unforgettable memories will always be in my heart, I can't marry someone where the individual chooses not to address some of the issues we had in the past. So when I was given an ultimatum, all I could remember was when the bible said in. 1 Corinthians 13:7-8, "Love never gives up, trusts God always, keeps going to the end. Love never fails." So, if you let me go because I won't get married simply because I want a pastor to pray over us by providing us with pastoral sessions, then ladies on here, what advice can you give me? Am I in the wrong?
When my soulmate finds me in Gods Divine timing I pray that you can officiate the wedding bishop Blake’s 😇🕊❣️
What if he's your soulmate, but don't fit your usual type?
@@leonthelionkelvin626 I guess she’ll never know 😂
As for me, I have standards, but not a "type." God knows who's best for me; and I screen them for the fine details, the deal breakers.
@@brujalinda huh ??? You answered for me ?
@@nataliegilbert7412 I agree with that
"Demonic people will hook you; you won't know your left from right." 😆 no lies told pastor.. 👏🏽🙏🏽
That's so true! I'm able to see them clearly now and say No. I'll pass! 🙏
When someone dislikes these messages, either they are hating or don't like to hear the truth and stuck in their ways and don't want to be HEALED!
This was EXACTLY what I needed. I'm just ending a 4 yr relationship because we're not going anywhere. I became obsessed with proving myself right!!
Same here we were together for 4 years and 5 months and I was so patient waiting for things to get better but it was going nowhere, he is not ready to man up he still wants to live a baby boy life . We have a son together but I didn't let that stop me I ended the relationship.
This is me. I recently ended my relationship because it wasn’t going anywhere. Spent almost 5 years with this person and nothing smh
Me too I checked out of the relationship 4 days before our 4 yr anniversary after a huge argument we had. He said some pretty hurtful things like he always does when we argue but this time I was done. And moved out exactly a month later. He was a covert narcissist. I ignored the signs the verbal abuse mental manipulation for years. I gave him a deadline for marriage and realized he would literate wait until the day of if he ever proposed. After I shut down on him he start picking up the pace. It was too late. Today I am much stronger and 21 days no contact. I’m in counseling and listening to TH-cams like this to continue to build myself back up. Thanks for y’all testimony. It’s sad to hear but glad I’m not alone. 🙏🏽 for all you ladies
Time is so valuable. You can never get it back, you can't rewind it, pause it, replay it, or fast forward it. Thank you for this video. ❤️
14 years I did the same
This message is the comfort, I wish my younger self would have known present day. Wasted years on a toxic relationship going no where fast! Thank You, for your words bishop.
😩me too.
Same. I wasted 10 years, no marriage, no children. My family was hard on me but I didn't listen at the beginning and through out, now I've learned my lesson
I agree! It's never to late to learn a good lesson!
TRUTH. 6 months if they don't propose, gone.
6 mos and u wanted w get married, chile please
I'm with...if he don't recognize my worth in that time. I'm OUT! Not gone waste my time.
@@veronicathomas4607
How long should a person wait?
12 months?
24 months?
Planning could be 6 more months or longer...actual planning, reservations paid?
Time to gain more clarity...look deep before you leap!
He should at least have made his intentions clear by the 6 month mark.
“A man is not looking for a woman in another’s mans bed” 🤯🤯🤯
It's easy to get wrapped up into a situationships because your afraid to ask what are we? Are we getting married 🧎? Or to say I don't like this 🤷... Most don't want to lose them ,but guess what you have already lost🤷 because you can't get time back and before you know it they will leave you for someone else and say to you "WELL YOU NEVER ASKED AND I TOLD YOU I DIDN'T WANT A RELATIONSHIP!!🙄🤦🤦 Just had this conversation today and needles to say I gotta do me a year is more than enough time time to know what you want and if this ain't it I gotta go 😎🚶live your self more ladies and speak affirmations to your self daily .... people will only treat you the way you let them 🙏❤️
My time limit was 3 years but that’s too much to invest. Now it’s 2. I realized that 6 months to a year is not enough time to get enough data. I always saw the real man at a years time. Mask falls off within 6 months to a year if he’s not that serious. Dating is not easy these days, too many men that want all the benefits with no real investment. So for me dating is going to be different. It’s going to be about gathering data to determine is he worth my time. No lingering waiting on empty promises. Thank you RC. I need you videos because no was not taught this knowledge.
WHy is the limit 2 years when you said within 6 months to 1 year is when the mask falls off. So it seems by what you said 1 year is the limit.
Exactly!!! Is he worth our time? I am not dating anymore. Waiting for God to show me the right one. Or I'll be ok staying single.
Same I like 1 year friendship solids by then I know if I want to go into second year of pursuit
@@yes_i_said_it_ 😂😂😂🤣 One year is typically when the mask falls off when it’s the wrong person yes. That doesn’t mean you still don’t need time for other potentials🙄
If things go smoothly 2 years. I hope that was simple enough for you😂
@@johannaalexander2009 I guess you have it all figured out....How's that going for ya?
I'm not wasting anymore time in any more relationships I'm pretty sure RC blakes struck a lot of nerves with this one because it's nothing but the truth and a lot of men don't like this type of talk because it's playing their hand💯.
After 40, you can figure it out in about 30 days. 60 tops. A seemingly great person can take 4-6 months to really figure out but alot dont get that far. I will never waste a year on anyone. After 4 years of being single and working on being the type of person I want to see show up (and covid) I'm not playing these daying games. I found the best thing ever within the last 4 years. Me!❤
This is going to be good I know. I wish someone had told me these things a long time ago. Single people need to watch your videos, especially the ones on a man's energy.
Yes sir! I've met women who aren't a wife in character and who aren't a good example for the next generation but want to get married. Thank you sir. I'm going to take my time and do it right because he who finds a wife finds a good thing.
Amen
It's true .. the Lord will give us the desires of our hearts
APTTMH 💜
I blocked his number after watching this video, I was going to give another weekend…waiting for his phone calls, I am finding myself getting weaker and weaker, holding on to something that only makes me feel worse and worse about myself…I know there is a time limit, a time limit that I will have enough, this has been going on and on and on, thanks for your video, I felt a little bit stronger after listening to your video, I will keep watching your videos and find more truth and gain more strength from it. I trust I will get better and better, I have more than enough good things in my life, this is the only thing that makes me unhappy, not having a fulfilled relationship, I need to be happy within myself, get my feet on, build up strong body and strong soul, I will get there, thank you!
You will get there
This is going to be a good one! I always tell my girlfriends, it does not take a man five years or more to figure out whether you are Mrs. right! Give him 2 years!
He gave me a promise ring and talked about marriage but it was all lies. I’m only going to wait 1 year from now on. I’m not getting any younger.
Actually, most men know right away if you’re wifey.
True,@@CaramelD1!
2 years is still to long. You could imagine wasting 2 years on each man? That adds up. As for me 3-6 months is the longest I'll be going. Men know from jump if your a toy or his wife.
2 years is too long. Especially when you’re older than your 20’s.
I’m 56 but I’ve only had 2 relationships. 1 for 33 years and we got divorced. Then this 5 years nightmare of a relationship. Now I have to be wiser and pray for God to send me a Godly man.
Watch out for rebounds. 🍀💕👍🏽
Take a brief 'sabbatical' from men and let the Lord be your ALL. You need to heal and learn more about who you are in Christ and who Christ is. More time in the word and I suggest, serve others.
Amen Sis!!! I'm 53, divorced 12yrs, & am learning to ask God to choose me to be a wife; cause it's not up to me!! Abstinent now 7mths...& content!!💃💃👑👑🙌🙌💪💪🔥🔥😍😍🙏🙏
Let’s be clear you do not need to have a man, if you’re just being in a relationship to be in a relationship it’s not gonna work well
@@Jane5720 Right you are Jane! I took a lengthy sabbatical from relationships/ men and it was the best decision ever. I learned to love me and I got closer to God. Found my assignment/ calling too!
" A man will stretch your life out for decades for absolutely nothing!" Woooooow!!! This is so sad but true.
💡I sent this to women that I love and I know deserve more. We get so caught up with dishonor cause it's been made to look normal. When it's NOT! Leaving strong & loyal women hurt, broken not realizing their true worth. Let's Heal correctly women of God. The goal is marriage before none other than GOD🙏🏽💪🏽👏🏾💯
Ladies, I need advice, and I would like to have your comments responded to my comment. However, first thing first, I love everything the pastor said. As a man, I respect what he said in Proverbs 12:15, which says, "The way of a fool is right in his own eyes: but he that hearkened unto counsel is wise." so in my situation where my four-year-old girlfriend ended our relationship with me because I felt it was imperative to have premarital counseling as I thought there were some things needed in our relationship that I felt in past incidents that it needed to be addressed. Jesus said unto him, thou shalt Love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy command. This is the first and greatest commandment. I felt at times that there was no representation of our Lord Jesus Christ in the relationship. I count myself in this, too, with my behavior as some arguments were thrown with profane and vulgar language toward each other, and I felt something like this needed to be addressed. Proverbs 15:1 says a soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger." so in past times, our words caused a negative mark in her spirit and also mine with her words with both of our mean words, although I love her. I just felt therapy and premarital counseling were needed, but it was rejected, so what other choice did I have because this was something important to me? Revelations 21:4 says God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away. Our words toward each other caused hurt, pain, tears, sadness, and grief, so as much as I would love to marry my than woman, for some reason, she is not open to self-evaluation through a premarital pastor. So, ladies on here, what choice did I have? I can't marry someone whom we both used hurt toward each other, and although great times and unforgettable memories will always be in my heart, I can't marry someone where the individual chooses not to address some of the issues we had in the past. So, when I was given an ultimatum, all I could remember was when the bible said in. 1 Corinthians 13:7-8, "Love never gives up, trusts God always, keeps going to the end. Love never fails." So, if you let me go because I won't get married simply because I want a pastor to pray over us by providing us with pastoral sessions, then ladies on here, what advice can you give me? Am I in the wrong?
I am not a Christian. But your teachings about relationship 🙏. Lifesaver. Thank you so much for the effort you put into making these video for us women to open our eyes to reality. Bless you!
“Now you’re looking at the right man with the kind of eyes you should have been looking at the wrong man with in the beginning” 💯 I have had to learn to be discerning, wise, intentional, observant and to stand up for my values and to not be afraid to stand up and say NO to the wrong men. You have helped me so much. Thank you! God is so good and He will restore the years that the locus have eaten. Amen❤️
Aman Aman and Aman again.
Peace and Blessings
Amen !
This also applies to other relationships such as platonic friendships both males and females, neighbors, co-workers, church members, family members, etc. I have followed the advice you set out here with respect to romantic relationships with men, but I am finally observing that I have invested too much of my time, commitment, money, support, dedication on friendships that were one-sided and exploitative and the same goes for relationships with family members, neighbors. co-workers, church members, etc. I have decided to apply the same rules you talk about in this video to those relationships too! Frankly I am exhausted from dealing with users and takers in all areas of my life. Thank you Bishop RC Blakes for your amazing videos.
Yes yes yes I totally agree!!!
Sista, you broke that "ALL THA WAY DOWN"!!🙌🙌🤣🤣💃💃👑👑💪💪🙏🙏👋👋!!! INVENTORYING ALL THE PEOPLE AROUND MY LIFE, WHO TAKE & ARE NOT INVESTORS!! HALLELUJAH!!🙌🙌💃💃😍😍👑👑🙏🙏 GOD BLESS YOU GIRLLY!!🤣💪💃👑😍🙏
I’ve never felt the need to create a TH-cam account. I’ve never subscribed to anything before. Seemed pointless till I came across your videos. I have gained so much knowledge and wisdom. Your words align with Gods truth. You are transparent and tell it how it is. Thank you Jesus for this man. I’m sorry it took your beautiful wife leaving you back in the day for God to open your eyes but clearly He makes all things work together. Thank you for your time. May God bless you and your family.
My life will never be the same after hearing this! Thank you.
"Your time is the greatest in investment you can make" Pastor
R.C Blake's. Preaching to my soul...thank you, thank you. God bless you and Lisa, your family, and friends.
I lived this, and the pain lingers with you long after you end it... the pain of the situationship has to eventually overcome any amount of 'pleasure' you extract from the mans inconsistent attentions, and its a low, low place to be. Luckily I was 21-23 during that time... but yall I'm 25 now and when I say I'm still healing, phew, not because of him or anything... but because ive had to address what was so broken inside of me to even allow it to happen. Its been a journey to recover to learn how to conduct myself in a way that commands respect and self worth.
I'm watching this now, because I don't want to ever make that mistake again.
I am so grateful for RC Blakes' ministry, but at the same time I'm angry. I really should have gotten this wisdom from my very own mother & father. Now I'm 47 and trying to learn by looking here, and it hurts.
Your parents weren't equipped so forgive them. Few people understand the dynamics of a relationship.
❤
Trust God's timing
My brother been tieing up a woman life for 28 years. He lives in the woman house, still live like a single person in some regards, not considering marriage, and have 2 grown-up children with the woman. Everyone in the family told the woman my brother was not marrying her ever. The woman said she don't care about getting married at this point cause she been with him for 28years. It's sad she doesn't value herself and given him most of her entire life with no real commitment.
You have no idea just how very important you are to so many of us. I watch your videos from Lesotho and I wish I had started watching when I was 16. I'm 26 now. It's not too late. Your words are like the much needed rain in the hot dry season. God speaks through you. He heals our souls through you. Data is very expensive here but I watch on credit airtime. I keep watching and never wanna stop.
It’s critical to tell the man what you want at the beginning and make sure you’re on the same page (as you said.) I am guilty of not doing that.
You would also make a great secular counselor. I have never understood the Bible until discovering your channel you have made the Bible lessons relevant regardless of religion
This is by far one of the best videos I’ve ever heard on relationships and wasting time. I’ve experienced it and truly know that this is truth in every aspect. God bless 💕
"Proverbs 20:6 many a man proclaims his own loyalty and goodness but who can find a man, but who can find a faithful and trustworthy man."
He said a word there
My husband is Jesus, He will never let me down ❤️
I stopped this video several times and cried 😞😞. It definitely hit home because I'm a 55 year old woman and I've been in a relationship like this now for almost it will be 2years in November.
❤❤❤
This was really good! Thank you and gos bless you bishop for being our father. Truth and plain words. Much love to you 🙏🏻❤
I’m so grateful for your guidance. You’re speaking some hard truths, but the truths that resonate with many women whether they understand biblical masculine/feminine truth or not. You’re speaking the truth of God’s divine covenant. The NATURAL law. I appreciate you. And I am sending your videos to my community. I know I am a white woman, but the color of the skin is no difference when it comes to matters of the soul. Continue in this education and preaching. I applaud you !
Cant wait! Ive been binge watching your videos and it has helped tremendously these past 3 days
So many relationships...well soul ties I had to leave alone thank you God for giving me the strength to do so. Its definitely freeing 🙌
7 years , he promised me that when we reached 5 years we would marry- 2 years later no marriage. This one is sooo good! Thank you 🙏🏾
If you’re planning to stay, hold back on the sexual side of your relationship…take power in rejecting him in an “ever so nice way”.
Look you very best when he visits you, enjoy the attention thank him for the compliments, but SAY NO! Have him scratching his head & asking what’s going on! Talk about the sex…tell him the sex has been great & talk about various incidents highlighting that…ask him if he enjoyed it & how.
Then he may say, well what’s wrong & you’ll say I want a Husband now & getting my body ready for him…. He can interpret that in any way he likes 👍🏾 If he’s the one ☝️ he will step up ⬆️ but make it clear he’s had total exclusivity for the past 7 years & you’re pursuing other possibilities without sexual activity.
@@johannaalexander2009 Naw, if she has to do all of that for which you suggested...then he would just marry her to keep his 'security blanket" and not because he really wants to be married to her. It would be a move to pacify her.
Same but I only lasted 3 years cuz I had enough
You should have left him
Don't make this mistake again. You are a beloved daughter of God. Pray and ask The Lord why you allowed this for so long..Love yourself sis!
I attended a chapel funeral of my best friends ex, which she has a 42 year old son with. Near the rear of the chapel a woman was crying profusely. I wondered who is the woman, she's obviously not a close family member. After the service I mentioned the woman to my friend. She responded " that's the woman he lived with for 35 years. After he died, the family took over, she did not have any input in the service, wasn't allowed to ride in the family limousine, not allowed to sit up front with the family. No retirement benefits, no social security benefits, no military benefits. Nothing but tears.
SHIT 😡
All he left her was alone with tears. Sad.
What a hateful family! And if that is the kind of family he came from I would not have want to marry in that family! My uncle had a lady he lived with for 25 years named Dorthy and when he passed away my mom was the beneficary on his life insurance and she just gave it too her! We allowed her to make the arrangements, she was a lovely woman and kind but my uncle was not so much so. Humans can be so hateful! But I am with you, I am not allowing man to enter my body who is not my husband!
Wow this spoke to me… wasted time… no commitment and in the end nothing but tears. Have mercy….
Jesus this is terribly sad, 35 years just to be regarded as the woman he lived with
My mama always said a man will waste your time if you allow him to
Marriage is not just a title , its security, and protection
If you're gonna spend time to a person: 1. It needs to be an honourable relationship; 2. There has to be mutual benefit; 3. It ought to be an ordained connection; 4. There's mutual fulfillment.
I have been through a lot of situationships. Learning about myself and my value has made me stronger. Thank You RC Blakes. I am growing older but I am happy.
It's hard, but be happy in your singleness. It gets easier when you pray daily to our Father in heaven. He hears all, and he NEVER BREAKS PROMISES. In Jesus mighty name. Amen!
From London Brixton UK. Women, black sisters. You set the standard, of how someone will treat you. Stop accepting crumbs. Just to have a man in your life.
I am Lucky to know this, from my Dad.
So what shut up!!!
Thank God for Pastor Blake's advice. I am a new woman. This video speaks exactly to something I just dealt with.
I used to end up in situationships that drug on for years. I just ended a potential relationship after a month. He did everything right for first 2 weeks then he did a 180. I was busy living my own life and didn't notice he had slacked off. Once I paid attention, I texted him and told him to please leave me alone since he basically had already done that. I also said if he was not going to help reduce stress in my life, he was essentially a stress factor. I went to sleep peacefully and feel good about cutting my loses early. He was not it. God has someone who He intends for me.
I can’t stop coming back. I think this is one of Bishops best teachings. Like he said, in his passing this will still bare fruit.
Nobody knows how valuable time is until it's gone. And nobody knows how much we really have. Not only in relationships but everything we do in a daily basis. The only return on your time is with the one true God! Eternity is a very long time🙏 God bless everyone!
You have been a blessing in my life. Everything you teach about is so true. I have learnt a lot listening to you over the years. Became wiser ever since I met you. I realised NOW that I am a Queen. The word of God you use seals the deal. Thank you and may God continue to bless you and your family. IJN. Amen!
❤️❤️❤️
His voice and his wisdom is life. Very grateful for you pastor Blakes.
Thank you for helping so many women..
All generations to come will b blessed by the work you've done
Bishop's theme music is everything. You hear and know a king is coming to speak.
Yes sis I concur!!! Bishop know that he is getting the mana from the King of Kings.. Praise God😊😊
Pastor, you have pegged me just right. This was a difficult message to hear. This is my story to a tee. Now I'm out here with nothing to show for all my wasted years. I have been a very foolish woman and I pray that God gives me the strength and guidance to rebuild my life. Thank you for sharing your wisdom.
You are not alone. Let's learn from our mistakes.
You are learning valuable lessons. God is Sovereign. Forgive yourself and align with God.
Most of us wish we knew sooner... sometimes it just hurts to listen to this, cause many years have been wasted. Those we never get back. Especially women who have waited and waited, no kids, no husband and over thirty.
I know it can be hard to hear. When you're enlightened and inclined to hear, don't waist another second in regretting what you didn't know, love! Absorb the knowledge and apply the wisdom, now!! God is always perfect in all His ways and our best life is in His plans not ours!
God says in Joel 2:25. So l will restore to you the years the swarming locust has eaten, the crawling locusts, the consuming locust and the chewing locust. Know a thousands days to man is a day unto the Lord, just change from the wrong ways and pursue the right, He is the God who can rewind time to fixed it for His glory. Thanks RC Blakes,Jr for the enlightenment and eye opening.
Omg!! I relate to the whole video my heart and soul got sick from a hopeful relationship I didn't listen to anyone I didn't know what happened I stooped so low off my standards in Hope's of my relationship of 6 years I became a fiance and he didn't stop showing me I wasn't good enough I was broken I didn't know how to leave we had no ties together except a soul tie it took for him to give me a concussion to the head my light bulb came on even then I sat in disbelief of everything that happened to me I have am on my healing journey this was 1 month ago each day is a gift I'm not completely healed from the concussion just yet but time heals everything I am so grateful for Pastor Blake's video's 🤲🏾 the enlightenment has blessed me tremendously
I have introduced Bishop R..C to everybody I know. they always give me their feedback on the videos and what I tell them that I watch these videos over and over and over I have to get it in my SOUL!!!!!!! So that I NEVER FORGET!!!!!
Yes... let's talk about this because some of these jokers out here acting like I have time to waste on pointless dating/hook-ups. I don't. And when I've tried to do this it has left me frustrated due to compromising my very existence. I'm ready for this Sir🙌🏽
I'm feeling you, sis. I'm not compromising with them either. They want the choice price, without putting in the relationship work. It's not happening with me.
@@nataliegilbert7412 for real, for real!
Been there, done that! Ladies, two things you cannot afford to lose: "Time & money." DO NOT allow these dusties to waste your time by running a background check on him FIRST! This way you'll KNOW who he is, not who he's "pretending" to be. DO NOT: have sex with him, let him move in, borrow your car, lend him money, "help him start a business", etc. A player & a con won't stay around long. "Hit & Run" is their game. Don't believe a word he says, watch his ACTIONS. Work on YOU and become independent. You don't "need" a man for anything once you have your own money, home, car, career, credit, investments, etc.
Your teachings are liberating!! setting souls free there’s no other way to say it! You are truly gifted Pastor Blakes!!
Time is LIFE and LIFE is precious! 🎯
Your time is much appreciated.This message had me in tears.But now I am awake.Thank you
Amen Sister
Same
RC BLAKES JR. you brought it with this one sir!! I listen alllllll the time but this here HIT home. Black women need to listen to this EVERYDAY for a year! This message is VITAL! 🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾
I thank GOD for YOU!👑
This one put the icing on the cake
I been waiting for this answer for over 3 years. Exactly what I ask the Holy Spirit to show me. Thank you Pastor Blake’s you are the father that I don’t have. 🙏
"Your time is the greatest investment you can make."
Always a man of wisdom. 26 yrs married to the wrong man that became a Christian after we married and prayed that God would save my marriage since we were both Christians. Pastors encouraged me to stay but "I WILL RECOVER ALL!" Wish I knew you even 10 years ago. Thank you for your wisdom🙏🏾
Lord help me TO WALK AWAY FROM THE TOXIC SOUL TIE🔥🔥🔥🙏🏾🙏🏾♥️♥️♥️✍🏾✍🏾just turned 40 i know God has better for me🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾💯
I was told this years ago: "To truly break off a relationship, "soul-tie" etc. with a man is to STOP sleeping with him!" It won't be easy, but it works EVERY time.
My motto: Milk, eggs, and cheese have an expiration date! Know your self worth. If you know you're marriage material, don't allow anybody to waste your time!!! Within a year, they should know. If you have save yourself for marriage, your mind/heart will not be cloudy. Say to them, 'This isn't working for me" and walk away with a clean slate. And another thing, if you can't see someone in your future, stop dating them!!!!
Whoo, this message hits in a special way! Especially the part about being an example to younger women.
Thank You Holy Spirit for strength and clarity.
Amen!!! I needed to hear this again for fine tuning!!! Let's Me know I did the Right thing at the right time!!!☺️
Everyone needs to hear this! Wow powerful. Generational Curses end with Me! Thank you Pastor Blakes 💕.
Even though I've been married for 28 years and seperated for 3, I see all of the 7 signs within our current attempt to reunite within the past year of waiting for him to fully commit to our relationship...this is a real eye opener!
Do you feel positive or negative about reuniting?
@@johannaalexander2009 Honestly...it's a bag of mixed emotions. I'm searching through prayer, discernment and observation over feelings right now regarding our relationship. I carry hope because he is saying and doing the right things, but I also have disenchantment because I am seeing old patterns rear their ugly head. The first two years apart allowed me to discover who I was again, fix things within myself and afford him the time to heal and work on himself as well. This third year of still living apart, couple's therapy, dates, conversation and boundaries are part of what is bringing clarity. However, there is a time limit set because I don't want to repeat his parent's 20+ year separation (I see patterns that she still carries...also being loosed, but not free)
I wish I had the opportunity years ago to to listen to the type of videos you’re sharing on this channel. Thank you for being candid on relationship issues and how to deal with it from a Biblical standpoint.
You preaching better than they’re shoutin 🤷🏽♀️😇. This is perfectly practical advice. TY for all that you do. You are love and we love you back, Blake’s🙏🏽
Wow what a Word. No soul ties, no entanglements, no commitment, no honor, and no trust: = time to let go, leave and exit. The reality is that that situation isnt getting any better for you‼️ So choose yourself: Choose self-love and Choose the Savior Jesus, he can Heal, Comfort and Keep you🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾
It’s the prayer at the end of the video for me! 😇
Thank you pastor Blakes
For a the constant enlightenment to this woman in Baton Rouge, Louisiana
What a wonderful message!! Thank you Pastor.
This spoke to me! I was strung along for almost 14 years before i decided to leave. The relationship was never going anywhere. I knew it 10 years ago. All those years wasted 😩 and the fact he wanted it to be a secret. Because he’s private 🙄
😭😭😭😭😭
"He wanted it to be secret because he is private " ewwww some men
Take responsibility for your part. Something in you was broken to stay so long. Dismantle soul ties.
@kendra4411 wow! What did the think y’all were don’t all that time?
@kendra4411 I’m no longer bothering to waste my time looking for a husband. I’m doing great in my own
Thank you for telling all of us the truth!!! About these situationships!!! And we will heal and move forward and not allow ourselves to waist our lives on Nonsense!!!!
RIGHT. ON. TIME.!!!!!! Thank you Bishop, I needed this....Truly, truly, truly the Father I never had! May God continue to bless you and keep you!❤️💕❤️💕