If Mary was a rich white woman
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 24 ส.ค. 2024
- "Away in a Manger" over my dead body... Thank you to BetterHelp for sponsoring today's video. Get 10% off your first month here: BetterHelp.com/...
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Actor: Julie Nolke
Writer: Julie Nolke
Camera: Sam Larson
Editor: Alec McKay
Production Assistant: Alexa MacKell
And, that inn keeper never recovered from that one night sleeping in the stables. She raised her boy Judas to get revenge on Mary's son.
woah!! plot twist
That would strangely make more sense.
Jesus Christ is the Savior of the world like Julie said. He's coming back soon to take His Church to Heaven in the Rapture very soon. All non believeres will be left behind on earth where Gods wrath will be poured out on all sinful flesh. Repent and be baptized
@@ronaldnesbit8988 🙄😮💨
@@ronaldnesbit8988we don't need you preaching here.
Who wonders how many years Julie's had these ideas that required her to be pregnant?
Agreed, she stored them away, just in case. So
i like to think that she is a dedicated method actress who got pregnant just to work on this and a couple others authentically. This is not a coincidence or a lucky opportunity.
gotta be prepared for every occasion
Worst part is that she'd pitch them to every guy she was about to hook up with... totally spoiling the mood. Uh oh, did I just inadvertantly come up with another sketch idea???!!!!
rumor has it that she got pregnant JUST so she could do all these vent up skits.
I'm beginning to think Julie just got pregnant so she could shoot all of these pregnancy sketches with a realistic belly
is there any other reason to?
Don't be silly. The belly is just collateral. She got pregnant to she can make a whole baby based série I'm the near future.duh
Tax deductible baby!!
@@andreguia1731 Didn't she already have a baby with Ryan George?
@@julienolke You get to know what it's like to wear one of those pregnancy suit props, but rather than occasionally over a career, you do it in 9 months so hard you never want to try the suit in the first place.
Mary later returned two of the three wisemen’s gifts, citing “Really? Resin? He gave me GOLD, and you gave me dried tree scabs? Fuck outta here”
For real! Those other 2 are so cheap
Frankincense and myrrh were very valuable and have healing properties, you know that, right?
@@annek.564 Yeah all good stuff.
@@annek.564 It's a joke, Karen.
@@annek.564 I agree with you. Frankincense was MORE valuable than gold. An ounce of gold bought less than an ounce of Frankincense! Unlike gold, it only found in the Arabian Peninsula. If they knew about saffron, it would have been brought along as well.
In case you’re wondering about the Starbucks cup, there were Starbucks in Israel until 2003. This sketch took place in 1 AD, so Mary could totally have had Starbucks.
Isn't it 1 BC?
He's not born yet
@@grim_2000 Since the year doesn’t start the moment Jesus was born, I think technically he was born in 1 AD. But if you follow the work of religious scholars, they believe the initial calculation of the year of Jesus’s birth was wrong (since it was done long after the fact), and Jesus was actually born in 4-6 BC. So you’re right, it should have been BC, not AD.
@mrjones2721 spittin’ straight facts
only concerned about the Starbucks now, post October given the ongoing genocide. #boycottstarbucks
The innkeeper had a boy that night too, and his name was Brian.
I understood that reference 😉
😂😂😂😂
Nah, his name was Judas.
@@ireallyreallyhategoogle depends on whether you’re a Monty Python fan or not.
@@t1328 Oh, that Brian.
How to show a rich person is rich? Give the person a starbucks cup.
That's just Prop Design 101 right there!
Worked for Daenerys Targaryen.
It's the entitled attitude.
An iPhone would've done the trick too. 😂
Sure, alienate half your audience!
You really got pregnant just for the skit, thats impressive dedication
I sacrifice for the art
Why else would she get pregnant
Makes you wonder if the woman needing a room was not a Mary but was a Karen
Karen with Speech 100
Mary is the new Karen. #trending
Translated from the Aramaic.
How dare Julie, tell Julie, that she looks pudgy! The nerve..
😂😂😂
Well, Innkeeper Julie has let herself go to the point that she hides her expanding waistline from the camera.
hahaha
"I heard Tom's inn has rooms."
"Umm, then why aren't you there?"
“I’m pregnant and I’m probably going to give birth tonight”
Then you’re definitely not getting in there to ruin the mattress.
Bathtub!
"Oh, yeah.... Well this is really not a hospital so no.... That's a pretty messy process, is what I have heard. I do have a stable that's already messy."
"Oh yeah that guy" an accurate description of Joseph's role in the Nativity
It really hurts, because of how true this is ...
Do you have a manager? "No, but we have a manger."
Way to maximize the returns on this pregnancy. These pregnancy skits have been top notch 👍🏻
Every day I wake up and say "I'm going to be less sarcastic today". Then this shows up.
Dear lady, you deserve an award for the efforts you've gone to for production value. I've tried to float scripts, but I've never gone to the level of gestation. You're awesome, in all seriousness. Be safe, be well. ✌️
“Joe, I got a room.”
"... an average looking pudgy innkeeper..." :-)
Fun fact, it wasn’t an inn and it wasn’t a stable. They were staying with family members and it was just the lower floor which is also where the animals live since you couldn’t let them roam at night and most couldn’t afford a separate building.
Further fun fact. The census and journey as described did not happen in the opinion of the overwhelming majority for scholars and historians. In all likelihood Yeshua was born in Nazareth, where he grew up. The Romans did perform a census at various times in their history using various methods. The known methodology did not require subjects of the client Kingdom of Galilee to cross the border into the Roman Province of Judaea for the purpose of a census. Even if they had an ancestor that lived there 9-10 centuries earlier. Of course, it is possible that the family had travelled to Bethlehem earlier in the pregnancy, and as you said, were staying in the house of relatives or contacts. If something delayed them it is possible they ended up staying until after the birth when mother and child were strong enough to travel again. What people want to believe partly depends on how much they wish to align Yeshua's birth story with earlier prophesies regarding the Messiah.
It took me longer than it should have to realize she was referencing the Virgin Mary. 😆 This was funny though. I’m married to a rich white woman Also named Mary and I can definitely verify the accuracy.
Mary: Oh my God! That's soo generous!
Innkeeper: That's fine! No problem, no problem! We've slept in the stable before.
Mary: Oh my God! Like, thank yooou!
Innkeeper: Here, let me get that for you. [Full frame. Innkeeper, with effort, reaches for Mary's suitcase and we see the innkeeper is equally pregnant. She stands straight again.] Whew!
Mary: I have a meeting with, like, my business partners, so if these three guys show up can you, like, tell them I'm really busy and I'll text them in the morning? THAAAANKS!
Innkeeper: [Looks incredulous as Mary walks away, then follows.]
[End]
Magi find the pregnant innkeeper in the manger and give their gifts to her son, while Mary is passed out upstairs from sacramental wine. And so starts the weirdest case of mistaken identity the world ever knew.
So, less "Mary had a little lamb" and more "Mary had an expensive rack of lamb at the fancy restaurant"
Notice the quick look down at 0:04, Julie notices her guest is pregnant at this point- you sorta forget she’s playing both roles! She’s so freaking good at dissecting and recreating/constructing the tiniest of subtleties in human interactions..the effort and talent is something else and it’s one of the reasons these skits are sooo good!! Blissful perfection.
Too bad I scratched my phone screen eight times before I realized that mark was on her back wall! Every time it switched views, I thought I got it 😂
sorry! It's a nail for a picture I took down
@@julienolke I forgive you.
LOL! Same! I wonder how many viewers also got “nailed”! 😂
@@davidkeely43 😂
Mary's child, Julie! The innkeeper's eyes darting down to Mary's belly during the second and fourth cuts... **chef's kiss** Such a great way to sprinkle in genuine two-person interaction. Hope you're doing well during pregnancy!
I love this because of the whole translation debate of 'manger can be translated into upper room' thing. That was really awesome.
The fact that you actually got pregnant so you could do these types of videos shows how really dedicated you are to your craft. Kudos to you. 😂
You are brilliant. I admire how your mind works Julie. 😂😂😂
This was so creative, keep up the talent!
Meanwhile, I'm thinking, if Tom's inn has rooms, while this one doesn't, doesn't that just mean this innkeeper is more successful than Tom? I mean, you're fully booked, high demand. That's a mark of success!
She's one sentence away from going full Karen
When they went “NO NO! FUCK TOM!” she knew she was getting that room. 😂
Landlady: ON second thought r u sure you don't want the barn?
Mary: Yes, I am ENTITLED to my comfort.
Landlady: But if you're giving birth to THE WORLD SAVIOUR, your labor will not be remembered in a fancy hotel room. Take the barn, you'll be remembered for it 'cause it's so much more Biblical.
Mary: You make a lotta sense. I'll take the barn.
Landlady: (Thank God, now I can catch up on watching my fave reality show, Moneychangers Temple.)
I wanted to play the (barely) pregnant and disabled cards when trying to move into our house. We were supposed to move in on the 8th, but it was hard to get inspections done. They had to put in different brackets on the patio and get another inspection. We picked this place because of the big tub for my pain. The 17th we get to move in, I take my first bath, and it leaks into the living room. 18th we checked the other bathtub and have to cancel new GP appointment because vid symptoms, schedule a plumber for the next day. Having the worst sleep, because pregnant and uncomfortable. Not registering how bad the situation was because of tiredness, next morning, faint on the way to the bathroom. Get hosed off in the other bathtub, and just rest there. Plumber calls and can come over now, so I just stay in the tub, soak and nap. Order Gatorade for delivery because I'm not letting my husband leave me alone in the house. I can't get out of the tub. In-laws come over, mom looks at me and says call 9-1-1, dad stays downstairs and opens the door for the EMTs. The EMTs pull me out of the tub and take me to the hospital. Internal bleeding, emergency surgery, they take out the fetus and the damaged tube. Wake me up and tell me the news and that I'm positive. A few days later, we moved back in with in-laws because we basically had no furniture, and we needed to heal. I wasn't allowed to take a bath for 6 weeks. It takes almost 4 months to fix the living room ceiling and replace the tub. I filled it with ball pit balls while we waited. Sitting in a ball pit will always make things better.
I have always found it odd that Joseph could not convince any of his kin in Bethlehem staying at the inn to give them their own room.
I imagine that the innkeepers were very unwilling to ask anyone to voluntarily give up their room so that someone who would for certain leave a big mess could have one.
Because he was an old man with a pregnant child.
This is so brilliant both in concept and in the execution style and the subtlety of the nuanced acting. Wow.
Mary using a straw with a straw less Starbucks cup is so Mary.
Just the look on her face when she asks; "Tom has rooms!?"
With the theme of this video, I was certain that the punchline for the poem at the end would be "Yelp"
I just saw your Alaska whale watching and salmon bake video. I told my wife “That’s so weird, she looks EXACTLY like Julie Nolke doesn’t she??” We were so delighted and surprised when we saw that was your old gig. Great videos! 👏👏👏👏
(types "how to say Starbucks in Aramaic" into Google, gets everything but the answer back)
She probably brought that Starbucks cup from home. No way that drink isn't from "Pret a manger". ;-) Oh man, so many puns lie this way.
She stole it from the Game of Thrones set.
@@FlorianFahrenberger Nazareth had a Starbucks?
I was wondering who the heck was Mary until the owner said they had a stable. Genius 🤣🤣
What I love is how Julie had this idea many months ago and then had to pretend to be pregnant for ages JUST so that she could post it in the optimal season when Mary and Joseph videos are in vogue 😇
(much love to your pregnancy themed season Julie, hope you're doing well!)
Yeah, I was a night desk clerk at a Motel 6 some 50 years ago and I heard them all, probably even this one, if memory serves me. 🙄Unfortunately, I didn't have a side gig that paid me extra to push little "extras" to our guests, if you know what I mean.
I was like "Well, May is Mary's month..." and then I realized Julie's pregnant, so, double score?
LMAO! Julie vs. Julie is always the best!
Julie's way of telling us she is still a virgin
I like to picture Mary as the ultimate Jewish mother. "My son...the Messiah..."
that commitment to the bit... julie got pregnant just to do a "what if mary was a karen" video... lol
I was sure the "pudgy" innkeeper would turn out to also be 9 months pregnant, named Mary, and hence the one to fulfill the prophecy of the son of God being born in a stable
Second floor story came later
“Oh my god, shut up! Really?,..”
Got to live that one,.. 😂
I was just thinking i havent seen your stuff come up on my feed lately and then you did. Ive missed you
The "If Mary was a rich white woman" sketch where a male inkeeper answers the door is only 8s long and ends with "Dammit... I'll be in the stable if you need me."
Away to the manager > away in a manger
how she walks in is perfection, great acting
"Potentially, the savior of the world". Two thousand years later, potentially the savior of the world.
My life in hotel sales. Sold out means sold out honey. And I'm thrilled that Tom isn't sold out on a heavy weekend
"That's cute with - like - animals and stuff..."
She can’t believe he has spare rooms. Doubt in Thomas gave rise to the sceptics who believe exercising balls are the cause of and not the remedy for pregnancy pains.😮
Did you mean "Doubting Thomas"?
I didn't even catch the doubting Thomas thing! Thanks!
@@mcarp555 Trying to avoid the ambiguity of Thomas doing the doubting, rather than doubting what Thomas says.
Oh customers like these! My favourite thing was when one demanded to see the manager in a deeply rude way after treating me like dirt and I said, 'Oh. I'll go and get him.' then disappeared out the back. Waited a beat. Then walked back out looking serious and said, 'I'm the manager. What seems to be the problem?' His expression and backpedeling as he realized were priceless!
😂😂😂 I love babies, but I have a feeling that we’ll be seeing a lot less videos from Julie after her beautiful little miracle is born. I wouldn’t blame her though. 🥰
Wow, I never knew what a entitled "See You Next Tuesday" Mary was. Also Aramaic sounds different than I thought it would.
The question is how many people will go to confession this week and hold their phones to the little screen so the priest can see what they confessed to laughing about?
I lost track of you about a year ago. I forgot how how clever and entertaining you are. Congratulations on having a baby. This will be an incredible resource for your content. I pray you guys are great parents and for the health of your baby. God bless.
Let us just say that this version of Mary would definitely not have been "highly favored" by God.
Apart from Julie excists 🤣
"the Savior of the world", that's a big *assumption* there, Mary
[ *ba-dum tssss* ]
This isnt Mary.
This is Joseph's third cousin, Karen, the wife of a successful Tyrian purple merchant,
Who also had to travel to Bethlehem for the census. They bumped into each other, and she said "Listen, we were going to bribe an innkeeper. But if you're too goody-two-shoes to use that story to get a free room, then I am NOT gonna let it go to waste!"
One silver lining about having to flee to Egypt is that you wont run into Karen there. She thinks fine sand is bad for the complexion....
It’s a very rich person thing to make you think they’re doing you a favor when you are the one getting them what they want.
I read "If Mars was a rich white woman".
This was good too though. 😀
Wow, I just discovered Julie Nolke 1 or 2 days ago, so I didn't actually manage to watch all of them yet, even though I enjoy them a lot, but this one completely cracked me up 😂.
I am forever going to hear "Better Kelp".
A manger? A manager!
I want to talk to a MANAGER!
Better help? Come on, you can do better than that shady company...
It pays the bills and allows her to do sketches. You really think a normal company will sponsor people. Really how many people really would use it. So let her make $$$
@@lostboy8084 there are plenty of companies that do sponsorships and aren't nearly as shady as BH
Oh MARY! Haha that took me a minute.
Are you implying you are carrying the second coming! That’s great news!!
This conversation would have been over as soon as she said "Well, Tom's has openings". I would recommend that she get hopping over to Tom's to get that room before it was gone, then politely bid her farewell.
OK, have always loved your stuff but this one was truly epic.
I knew that manager card was coming 😂😂😂
Anyone read the title and think “Mary was a rich white lady, rich white lady, Mary was a rich white lady, her skin was white as snow”?
Great. Now I've got "Let it Be" stuck in my head...
That's where I say, Tom's has a room open, ok better hurry up and get there before that room sells out too.
"No, no no no, F*ck Tom!" 🤣
Got to admire the persistence
Seeing the title I was expecting/hoping for annunciation sketch.
I love the starbucks! 🤣🤣🤣
Ancient Starbucks didn't have Christmas cups.
This was great! Love your dedication to the bit!😂
Anyone who has ever worked in retail/service industry has dealt with this kind of 'customer. '
I'm not sure how effective, "I'm probably going to expel fluids and substances from inside my body into the room you give me. " as a bargaining chip to try and get a room would be...
The lack of rooms Mary what’s not clicking!
🎼 Away, get the manager and get me a bed. 🎵🎶
As influencers go Mary has certainly left her mark...Right choice Biblical Julie.
And I thought you intended to go the route of how we could have buffets at Christmas church service.
The way she said “Joseph”
Somehow the innkeeper making the pregnant girl sleep in the stable is the least believable part of an already implausible story.
I was just waiting for that “Can I see the manager?” line. 😁
If you are this funny before the baby is born, I can't wait to see what happens once the baby is here!!!
"It'd be such a shame if I couldn't give you a glowing recommendation".
You know, it took me a minute to figure out who Mary was based on. Doh!