Thank you for answering my question. It was very helpful. You really nailed it. I feel that the people pleasing has gotten in the way of my authenticity and understanding what I need and want. I was raised as a Jehovah's Witness and by a controlling Italian mother on top of that. My mother was a master guiltier and really encouraged me to put other people first. I think I need to do some soul searching and take some time to get to know myself. I have become a bit resentful but even more so I am burnt out and running on empty.
Great stuff, Clay. Thanks for taking the time to answer these questions, after you have considered your full reply. That is truly rare, I think, since it is tempting to make a short and terse response instead of working through it your mind before speaking.
I had a great talk with my boyfriend yesterday about our relationship, how his work related stress is impacting negatively the way he talks to me and what can we do about that and you upload this video today. Great timing :)
Thanks Clay. As always lots to think about. I recognized myself, in the avoidance of the narcissist, “(easier to go along than withstand the blow back)”... behaviors I used during those years. Finding your own rule book, is sometimes, started and created by what we have decided to No Longer, be part of. What ever is the motivation, it’s a much better, healthier, life. Thank you.
You’re doing great with this channel! This video audio wasn’t on Spotify yet so I managed to listen along on here. Thank you for being so inclusive and considerate while also being honest.
Hey everyone, I recently made an INFJ discord server! We have over 300 of us in the server and it's a great place for us all to connect. Anyway, here is the link: discord.gg/kCYJazwMHB
The dog in the kitchen metaphor made me think of the story you told about your friend needing your camera or something for a redbull game (but it was Monster)
I Truly Believe In Putting Others 1st But Other Ppl Stay Stuck Like The Mural Is On The Wall There R Needs Out There & Yet Their Beliefs Stay In Church
For Me It's Not Guilt I Have Never Been A Good Negotiator We Or I Think Everyone Knows What The Golden Rule Is Swaying Back & Forth Like A Freaking Ping Pong Ball Or Door Mat Cuz Don't Have The Know How
I didnt agree with the owing your kids thing. I mean there are tons of people who want kids and cant have them and would love to take your kid if you didnt want to do it anymore. Especially with out having to go through that painstaking adoption process. Also what if you died when they were young? Would your kid have th right to be mad at you for that because you owe your life to them or something. You dont owe anyone anything. You owe to yourself to give your child the best life you can so you don't have to carry the burden of not doing that even if that meant giving the child to what you think is a better family/lofe for what ever reason that is. Like maybe a heroin addict know they only love heroin so they drop their new born and the firestation.
Having children should be seen as a really serious responsibility. everything about a child's development shapes who they are on a physical and psychological level which will set the standards of their quality of life and also define their capabilities and limitations. all of this also will affect everyone they interact with in life. I don't think it's justifiable to make choices based on the mentality that you can hand over responsibility to someone else if we want to make the world a better place.
Those kids exist because of you and they are completely dependant on you while young, so yes of course you owe them everything. I also think that there are other relationships in life, where you have some kind of responsibility and this is okay. what creates the tention in the North American culture seems to be the discrepancy between the individualistic values and the Christian values, which do not go well together.
Thanks!
thank you!
Thank you for answering my question. It was very helpful. You really nailed it. I feel that the people pleasing has gotten in the way of my authenticity and understanding what I need and want. I was raised as a Jehovah's Witness and by a controlling Italian mother on top of that. My mother was a master guiltier and really encouraged me to put other people first. I think I need to do some soul searching and take some time to get to know myself. I have become a bit resentful but even more so I am burnt out and running on empty.
Also, I am married to an ISTJ and it's so refreshing to listen to another NF. Even though I don't know you personally, I feel understood. 😊
Wow! Your analysis is the most relatable that I've ever heard on all points. Thank you !
It's so great to find this connection!
Awesome video. Thank you.
Great stuff, Clay. Thanks for taking the time to answer these questions, after you have considered your full reply. That is truly rare, I think, since it is tempting to make a short and terse response instead of working through it your mind before speaking.
Yes Am Learning & Growing
I had a great talk with my boyfriend yesterday about our relationship, how his work related stress is impacting negatively the way he talks to me and what can we do about that and you upload this video today. Great timing :)
🌬👌🏽👍🏾👉🏽 "KEEP UP THE GOOD WORKZ CLAY ". 🖐🏽💯💜☮
All Good Oh Wow Higher Frequency Vibes😂🤗
Thanks Clay. As always lots to think about. I recognized myself, in the avoidance of the narcissist, “(easier to go along than withstand the blow back)”... behaviors I used during those years. Finding your own rule book, is sometimes, started and created by what we have decided to No Longer, be part of. What ever is the motivation, it’s a much better, healthier, life. Thank you.
Thank you. You are always such a soothing soul to listen to 😊
You’re doing great with this channel! This video audio wasn’t on Spotify yet so I managed to listen along on here. Thank you for being so inclusive and considerate while also being honest.
Oh sorry about that, I actually think I forgot to upload the podcast! Busy week! I’ll get that up today.
@@ClayArnall Thanks, Clay. 🌟 But obviously no rush, just the topic was too important to wait for podcast version anyway, lol.
Hey everyone, I recently made an INFJ discord server! We have over 300 of us in the server and it's a great place for us all to connect. Anyway, here is the link: discord.gg/kCYJazwMHB
Awesome
Thank U😁
The dog in the kitchen metaphor made me think of the story you told about your friend needing your camera or something for a redbull game (but it was Monster)
Work a spiritual program and stay busy. Mind, body and soul - your unstoppable
I Truly Believe In Putting Others 1st But Other Ppl Stay Stuck Like The Mural Is On The Wall There R Needs Out There & Yet Their Beliefs Stay In Church
No More Like They Suppress On Purpose
I never asked to play. On volunteerly level or not.
❤
Hello Love Ur Videos😁
Please, is there a way to identify the spies on the house using modern electronic methods and to locate them.
❣🕊🤗
That's funny. Cause. I never signed any deals. Or agreements
Who are you and where have you been all my life???💜❤💜❤ SUBCRIBED!!!
For Me It's Not Guilt I Have Never Been A Good Negotiator We Or I Think Everyone Knows What The Golden Rule Is Swaying Back & Forth Like A Freaking Ping Pong Ball Or Door Mat Cuz Don't Have The Know How
I didnt agree with the owing your kids thing. I mean there are tons of people who want kids and cant have them and would love to take your kid if you didnt want to do it anymore. Especially with out having to go through that painstaking adoption process. Also what if you died when they were young? Would your kid have th right to be mad at you for that because you owe your life to them or something. You dont owe anyone anything. You owe to yourself to give your child the best life you can so you don't have to carry the burden of not doing that even if that meant giving the child to what you think is a better family/lofe for what ever reason that is. Like maybe a heroin addict know they only love heroin so they drop their new born and the firestation.
I’m not sure where you got the idea I don’t want my kids? I love my kids more than my own life and would do anything for them.
He meant of course we owe our children under age or in college.
But they dont need to be all your responsibility after say 25.
Having children should be seen as a really serious responsibility. everything about a child's development shapes who they are on a physical and psychological level which will set the standards of their quality of life and also define their capabilities and limitations. all of this also will affect everyone they interact with in life. I don't think it's justifiable to make choices based on the mentality that you can hand over responsibility to someone else if we want to make the world a better place.
Those kids exist because of you and they are completely dependant on you while young, so yes of course you owe them everything. I also think that there are other relationships in life, where you have some kind of responsibility and this is okay. what creates the tention in the North American culture seems to be the discrepancy between the individualistic values and the Christian values, which do not go well together.