I just love how eloquently, authentically, transparently you verbalize-vocalize the depths of us Mature INFJs heart-mind-body-spirit-energetics-soul-consciousness dynamics. It’s an oddly reaffirming and pleasurable experience watching a fellow kindred INFJ, such as yourself, speak to these levels in the manner that you often do. Thank you for showing up in the way that you do. Your presence is an inexpressible sublime joy. My hope and wish for you is that you continue to thrive, and prosper, and attain that which is most fulfilling, nourishing and nurturing to you.
You just said everything I was going to write to him. Honestly it feels incredibly amazingly good to have another fellow INFJ voicing what we have in mind. It is even a bit shocking but reassuring.
I can only blubberingly re-iterate the sentiments above. Just in my reading each of your comments it seems a near universal truth that for us #INFJs truly on the path to enlightenment, the written word is a sort of psychological playground, a safe space through which we may express the deep and complex thoughts and emotions that reverberate in our minds. This kind of validation is a salve for the soul. 🙏🏽 💡🕊📖
In my observation it appears that the vast majority of people have either lost their capacity for critical thinking, or they perhaps would rather follow the masses because it’s both more convenient and far less challenging. Personally, I’ve never been interested in living that way. Each of us is given one physical body in which to reside for a lifetime, and we have choices. A lot of people base their choices on fear of the unknown (I certainly have and still do), but the key to so-called happiness (rather I should say contentment) is to base your decision making on alignment with YOUR sense of individual purpose; obviously, as long as you aren’t going to bring harm, and it’s within reason, etc... the vast majority of people simply follow what they see others around them doing, and they wonder why their life is so unfulfilled. To each their own, though. For some, all things considered, that way of life is easier; and I get that. It’s not for me.
Convenience is all America is about. Doing what has been done before, living as your parents did, etc. I would rather die for what I believe than to live a life without meaning. (You can look at my post for some more of my thoughts on this topic)
I don't believe people have either lost their capacity for critical thinking though, but rather they never had it from the get go. I searched high and low and couldn't find much info about exactly what I was looking for until one day (kinda out of nowhere ) "Objective Recitation". Most people for the majority of their lives had learned to categorize every facet of live into easily organized boxes (think like a multiplication table chart) So if everything is laid out in this system when you have a conversation with a person, a question is brought up its simply "oh thats an "H" column thing and thats a heavy question so like and "8" go to space H-8 to get answer. Then they stated already pre prepared answer and thats good enough. But its when you abstract things and twist concepts they get extremely annoyed. This is why they get so hostile... When ones world is built so directly with rigid yes/no good/bad and something disrupts it its so alien to them and scary that not only is it not to be able to speak, but its existence not be tolerated.
That was my big revelation as well. The absence of critical thinking means that this needs to become the guiding principle of society, not religion, not racial identity, not wealth. This is what puzzled me as a young INFJ. Why weren't people trying to make sense, instead of yelling and scaring the rest of us?
@Saeed Broumand When your only tool is a hammer, everything looks like a nail. The INFJ has a big toolbox and draws up the best possible set of plans when looking for ways to fix the world. Meanwhile there are the guys with their hammers doing their thing. At first, the world doesn't seem to make any sense. When it starts to become more understandable, we can see all of the things that are wrong and feel the despair of that understanding. Those who make a difference are able to get past the stage of despair and get down to work and make things better.
@Saeed Broumand Yes, you are correct on what is the meaning of the letters INFJ. You are in the right place to find all the information you could want on what we INFJs are and what we do that is so different from many of the other 16 mbti types. There is much to learn. This channel and the many others on You Tube are an excellent source of information on the subject of this rare type. Good luck on your search.
Yep. Cannot take ourselves or life too seriously. Easier said than done for infj, but important to keep reminding ourselves and focusing on what we CAN do joyfully.
I’ve had to dig so deep into psychology, philosophy, politics etc to work out my own path and personal beliefs because I want to live a good, moral, wise life. It’s been long and exhausting but I had no choice. I don’t think many do the same. The more you learn about life, the more problems you see, corruption, ignorance, evil. It’s a hard road. You have to decide to limit your ambitions to correct things, or you would go crazy and burn yourself out. The good news is INFJs look for universal concepts which inform in innumerable ways. This we tend to be Svengalis.
I hate the rat race. It feels wrong and pointless to me. It’s crazy how you described life as a game. I definitely started to feel this way after having travelled the world for a year. People complicate their lives in ways they don’t realize. I want a simple and happy life, and successful in the way I define success for myself.
The “Game”. Life is absolutely, The Game. I’ve done the Irate, player, the Drag Dog, and the Loophole seeker. Intimately, learning to find a satisfying place within the Cage, is the best way, for me, to live in this illusion. Your conversations, are always Spot on. Those of us, with “Like” personalities, must be on a wavelength. It’s really satisfying and Hopeful, to hear your thoughts. Thanks, Clay. Powerful stuff.
What you say makes complete sense. Like your forest friend, I have thought of going against the system a countless times, only to realize that it doesn't work. You just have to find the right balance and exist like the dog. Clay, you echo my thoughts. Thank you sharing those.
Do not have the time for a lengthy response, but I agree with everything you are saying, but am glad you are saying it out loud. Really great insights, my friend!
Brother, the main reason I've had as much trouble in my life as I've had is because I didn't really know myself. It took me until age 40 to really start waking up, and I'm 47 this year. Looking backwards, it all makes sense now.
I've never felt so understood and misunderstood all at the same time. It like "bruh, same!" and then you remember you are living in the same confusing world. It is almost like living outside the box that is still inside the box
Yes please on the “how to start your own business, and with the right idea” (especially as an INFJ). Thank you for the good vibes you’re putting out there, much appreciated.
I get a lot the feeling of freedom as a theme in your talk... The idea of freedom is a big thing for me.. mentally chasing what real freedom is...but I think it's an unreachable thing... beyond human.. beyond life itself... I love your videos! Thanks much Clay!😄💖
@@nobodyknows3260 Yeah tragic😅 like i wake up every day and do almost the same and then be like: why? For sure sth i could talk about for ages and still have sth to say😂
I'm a server and my paychecks are voided from taxes, my tips are taxed and then if I buy food with that money It gets taxed. It's like repeatedly having money taken out before I even use it
Finally I found someone just like me 🙏 thank you Clay for speaking about these things. I feel just like you. Once I thought about having children and I just felt that I just couldn’t do it because I felt I would give birth to a child inside of a prison. And force the child to cope with things that I don’t cope. This world sometimes looks like the garden of eden transformed into a prison. So many rules, so many constructions. Feeling free to be ones self is really rare here. Clay you have a philosophical character. You are very insightful and observant and you can speak about things I think with myself.
You can change the system by transforming yourself... or maybe I should say: You can change the system by finding yourself? The "cage", this feeling of being unfree, exists as long as you don't recognize what you are tide to. All systems exist in our minds and they make us behave the way we do. The pressure we feel to behave a certain way is called expectation. Expectations and habitual behavior make up the system. You can only change the systems when you recognize what's pressuring you and develop the ability to release it. When you don't feel the cage anymore, you are free. Real change is happening internally and individually. You can inspire others, but you cannot force them to change. Have you asked your friend how he's feeling with his new life? Does he feel free or does he feel like he is running away? Thanks for this video, I enjoyed it.
I recently discovered your yt account and was immediately drawn by your eloquent, honest and richly in depth thoughts about this topic. Instant subscriber! ✨ Thank you for providing such great, relatable and interesting content.💯
Our nation got sucked into this “reality tv” way of existing and we all know it’s fake. As you said, there lacks a logical basis, “substance” for how people behave and systems operate. I hate the way the media is allowed to play on emotions and psychological welfare and gets away with it. I recently learned “the system” is also confining and constricting of an individuals freedom. Going through divorce and the selection process of jury duty are two ares that I discovered “this doesn’t make sense”. I don’t want to do jury duty! Pick people who enjoy the process and believe in the system. And the way people make money off our divorce miseries is sickening. These two concepts are something I’ve awoken to this past year. Now currently, I am starting a legal battle with my college (along with 12 other students) to fight for changes that the school is implementing impeding our ability to pass classes and graduate to no fault of our own. And then you feel, “am I the only one seeing all the flaws in the system? Is this gonna be my whole life wherever I go... this isn’t a job.” So what do we do 🤷🏻♀️ I live in the US and we are not free. But freer than other countries. People come to the US to work and make money, not to live. The US is a guinea pig for the world. It’s like that movie, “Hunger Games”. You’re just trying to get through it alive all the while carving out space for the things that actually matter. A good example is buying a home. You never really truly own a home. You pay off your mortgage and for the rest of your life you are paying property tax on that home. Old people lose their homes if they do not or forget to pay their property tax. Is that really owning your home? Or how about people who contribute to taxes for educational services but you never had kids... is that fair?
Thanks for the reminders too! For years, I realized what you did - about the "dragon" and how silly ir is to constantly fight it. However, with all of the insanity in the US at this time, I have become entirely too caught up with things over which I have absolutely no control. It's far better to work on myself, find ways to pay off debt, and improve my own life wherever I can.
Such a great video. I've been struggling to find a worthy business to create but my main goal in life is to work from home and answer to absolutely no one! Please make this video for us (if you want) haha!!
Hi, I love watching your videos and Iam very grateful for each of them as everything you say reflect entirely my thoughts and processes. It is kind of shocking but so, so reassuring. I agree with everything you mentionned and I think I've reached that point in my life where I conceive life as a game that you shouldn't take too seriously and I was (still am a bit I guess) that very serious person who was angry and felt everything was so unfair and nothing made sense. My mum (whom I don't get along at all and is mentally ill) used to say "All work and no play makes Jack a stupid boy" instead of "dull" and that kind of stayed in a corner of my head. Now I am evolving and growing as a person and I've come to your final thoughts. That brings some peace and other perspectives. I thought for a long time about creating my own business as I think it would get along with what I want in my life for me and I would be very, very grateful if you would make some videos about business as you suggested in the end of the video. I don't comment often but thank you for everything you do, it makes me feel less crazy (I guess every INFJ thinks the same haha).
People compare themselves to each other using reference systems. They find a meaning in life in being better than somebody else. Better in sports, in work, in clothes, etc.
Life is definitely nothing but the game. You make so much sense, Clay. Your philosophy resonates with me so much. Thank you for your insightful videos, you are great. Do not forget to have a little fun along the way 😉
Great insights here! Loved the ending, and yes - would love info on starting a business. I'm like-minded in so many ways. I love working from home and so content doing that.
Clay, I have watched your other videos on Christianity and quite enjoyed them. I think you mean quite well and that you’re searching for logic and reason. I have been impressed with your character. One danger of people who place these values on a pedestal, and I am certainly one such person as well, is that you can sometimes be led to believe that you see the world clearly and for what it is and it is instead merely others who are infected by bias, appeals to emotion, irrationality etc. If you continue on your journey, and I hope you do, I hope you seriously get into topics in philosophy and research in psychology and sociology. I think a deep engagement in these fields often brings one to the conclusion that we ourselves are constantly infected with bias, irrationalities, and, above all: motivated reasoning. The issue I have here is that your worldview, like most people’s worldview, is still being informed not merely by clear-eyed rationality but also by your own self-interest and your positionality in the world. Your worldview and perspective is dominated by your positionality as a handsome young-ish white male small business owner. If we really truly wish to be honest with ourselves - and I think you do from what I’ve witnessed of you - I think it’s necessary to comprehend how the ego regularly bends the world to fit our desires and to protect the self. This was Freud’s most important contribution to human understanding. Consider this: I sympathize with your struggles with the reality of a state - and there are many logical and valid criticisms of the state - but dare to take your critique one step further. In our system, capitalism, most people structurally have to be workers and owners are necessarily a minority. That means most people have to labour for someone else’s profit. Now any small business owner incurs real risks, but the system in the aggregate is quite profitable. You complain of having no other recourse but to have the government take from you - well, that’s precisely the relationship of most employees to their employer. Please seriously consider this. The workers of the world do the large majority of the actual work - and they have very little actual choice. Yes, you can go start your own business but someone else will have to do the work you were once doing (and quite obviously, some people have access to vastly more capital to take more risks with in the market - its not at all a remotely fair playing field. As you well know, one small wrong move for the small business owner with limited access to capital means ruination - not so much for many others of less limited means). This is every bit a part of the cage that you were referring to - in fact I would suggest it constitutes most, but not all, of the cage. There is virtually no “outside” to capitalism - we are forced, often quite against our will, in participating in it. If you’re not working for someone else’s profit, or extracting profit from someone else, then you’re quite literally homeless and hungry. Those who get to enjoy owning large chunks of the means of production can sit back and watch as their investments and other assets rise. When people say “get your money to make money” - where does that money come from? Not entirely but largely from other people working for your benefit. I think you might surmise this, but its a reality you might be keeping yourself from to protect your sense of self - and certainly that same culture that you critique will absolutely aide you in this avoidance. There is no ‘outside’ to ideology - you have managed to free yourself of the ideology of Christianity but we are always stepping outside one ideology and into another. No ideology is nearly as dominant in Canada or in other wealthy countries as that of hyper-individualist capitalism. In fact, I see how it traps you in its solipsism - nearly your entire video is speaking from the perspective of an atomized and isolated individual who must somehow ‘figure it out’ entirely by yourself. The lack of ‘other people’ in your video is quite conspicuous. I do not mean this as a criticism but as a mere observation. You desire complete independence - who doesn’t really? - but you avoid that we are inevitably mutually dependent on one another. There is a reason why humans in a state of nature do not wander off by themselves. We are innately a social creature, and that entails some obligation to one another. Too much of our tax burden falls on small business owners like yourself while those on top have lawyers and accountants to shirk their responsibility. But you leave out how the taxes seem particularly onerous in part because of a cost of living you incur living in Vancouver that is largely to the benefit of the ownership class. The taxes you pay aren’t sent down a money tube to the bottom of the ocean, they largely help ensure that you live in a country with some baseline level of decency, where you don’t have to fear you will be carjacked at any intersection like you find in Mexico or Brazil or any other country with a desperate underclass and an often mendacious elite. Now, do I think capitalism is ending anytime soon or that there is a quick and easy solution to the cage of capitalism? No I don’t. I understand people’s pragmatic engagement in it. All I ask you is that you question your own certainties and values - particularly the values this society very much fosters (the ‘taken for granted’ being the ultimate and most successful field of ideology). If you want to set yourself up so that everyone else does the work for you and you can just sit back and relax for the rest of your life or whatever, I mean I can understand why that seems quite agreeable to anyone. But I would challenge you to consider the implications and morality of that as well. Much love, Sean
I honestly do believe - and yes I know I am biased (but I do know my bias) is towards left-wing philosophy - that these concepts require some engagement with in order to have a more clear-eyed perspective of the complexities of today’s society and the values that are so propagated around us we often fail to notice them: Theodor Adorno’s concept of the culture industry, Debord’s concept of the spectacle, Baudrillard’s concept of hyperreality, Gramsci’s concept of cultural hegemony and Marx’s conception of ideology. Maybe some Freud and Otto Rank as well. I’m not the sort of dreaded postmodernist who believes that humans are perpetually and forever incapable of seeing themselves with some accuracy or reaching logical conclusions, but I do believe we are kidding ourselves into a self-mythology of the fully rational subject - which clearly far too many people do, especially online - if we are not seriously engaging with very powerful critiques of the modes of our existence in society and deeply plumbing the depths of our perceptions and certainties. Many of our undeclared certainties quite neatly align with our self-interests and the interests propagated by society, so we’re far less likely to submit them to critical evaluation. But I think its necessary to do so to arrive at a point that is not merely driven by ego and self-centredness (not that these things are in themselves evil or unworthy of defence).
I have a few ideas of why some of us do not fit it and it comes from perceptions about the world that others do not appear to have. Some of these perceptions or traits are: - a personal code of morality that differs from external codes of morality. - having intuition as your dominant function - high level of sensitivity/empathy I have felt practically no sense of belonging during my lifetime because of many of the themes you have touched on in this video. Another INFJ has suggested that being N dominants it often feels like we are being gaslight by tribe. I feel no one understands me at all. There is another suggestion, the world has been built from "SJ" perspectives and values. As I understand it SJs, like this feeling of belonging and knowing their role in a system. Its no wonder it feels like a system because it is and from my perspective its deeply broken. I know many people I have pointed this out to cannot follow my reasoning and I am often seen as being the problem. Be glad you are in introvert because this is really a hard problem for an extrovert that wants meaningful connection with others. It is interesting that despite our differences, ENFP to INFJ. I experience the world similarly to yourself. It doesn't surprise me though from what I have learned about our types. We are each on a quest towards truth, we just do it in a kind of upside down fashion than the other. If you ever want to tackle a challenging video .. define truth .... good luck :) I admire your work in self actualization. ENFP (Also Canadian)
I am so glad that someone eventually talks about this thing that has bothered me all my life! Social norms and rules. At age 50 I still don't get them right, but I'm okay with that now. Here's to all you weirdos spicing up life with your awkwardness!
This might not make sense but i'll try my best. Personally, the worst part about feeling this way is that I can understand the other side of the argument and understand why some systems need to be in place even though I do not believe we should be conformed by them. So it creates this tension inside me with the two opposing sides. one of this independency and freedom of choice, and the other of compliance to the regulations as it benefits the society as a whole. I can't explain it properly. Idk if other INFJs feel this way too
Writing in my journal recently I described myself as feeling stuck in a box. Listening to you I realize that I'm stuck inside a box...which is stuck inside what you describe as a cage. The box I am stuck in (that confines me) consists of sex-role stereotypes and expectations. I realize now that only I have the power to 'Houdini' my way out of it...
Oh yes! Order and Chaos. It's a topic that was already mentioned in ancient religions (ok, religions are based on chaos and order). Jordan Peterson is aiming at these topics with his 2 books "12 rules for life" and "Another 12 rules of life". The first book was for bringing order into your life, with rules like "Treat yourself like someone you love" or "Make friends with those who want the best for you". Now the second 12 rules book came out and there he has 12 rules for chaos. His reason for this is that he believes (based on his studies) that order is for a stable life, but chaos makes you progress. But you need the energy you gain in your order, to progress in chaos. PS: I don't say it enough, but I really enjoy your videos. I hope you enjoy my comments too. PPS: I totally forgot my point. I wanted to state that Star Trek is also dealing with this. There is a species that got all-time happiness (=order), but it's not fulfilling. And his body/soul/spirit (depends on your relgion) is telling him that it's not the right way all the time. And Mr. Spock discovers this.
Ok, now I finally finished the video. Rules, laws and so on are just rules which most of the humans accept. There are enpugh exceptions, but let's talk about jurisdictions like Canada, USA, Germany. F.e. deep talks. The reason why many conversations are more superficial is that many people want to talk about superfficial stuff. But on the other hand noone will be mad if you make your own group with people who like deep talks and do them there. And this is happening everyday. But if you want to have information from someone inside the superficial realm, you need to play according to their rules. Now let's apply this to selling something. You can use your own rules, but than you either sell nothing or you have to know how to reach the audience that plays according to your rules. Or you take the rules most of the people use and apply them. On the example of paying taxes. First we all should realize that we own nothing. The country/state is the landlord and we have to pay different rents. Somehow these rents turned into taxes, since enough people didn't want to play after these rules. Now yyu can accept the rules in live in your country, or you get a boat, tons of steel and build your own island in international seas (or maybe you find an unknown island, that would be very impressing). The problem for me was that nobody told me that. Society seems full of such beautiful lies. They say you can be whatever you want, that you are free and are totally missing responsuibilities. Another of these lies is "Get a good education, nice grades and apply for a job and everything will be fine". Nah, you still can get fired. And getting fired is crucial. As an employee you basically live from month to month. But I have to honor the out-of-work benefits in some countries.
I listen to almost all videos with a speed of 2 but i listen to Clay with normal speed and on repeat sometime in the future :-D think most INFJs are sigma and we would rather go our own way but that may not be the best option for us sometimes. Kindly Keep on posting Clay ! :-)
Yes! please do another video on starting your own business / entrepreneurship. Your first vid on the topic was stellar and it is very difficult to find a perspective out there from other radically free thinkers like yourself. I have an idea for a business and your last video inspired me a lot. It would be great if you could talk about how to hone in and hash out an idea as you suggest. Maybe even do a weekly segment! Another channel! Your advice is good!
I'm 29 and i've never voted before for the reasons listed in this video. I just don't care to conform to the system. Even though a government would be chosen regardless, it would just be going against my own will if I voted, and I really don't have a desire to! Btw I'm also a fellow Canadian and INFJ ✌
good question... the reality is I don't really read business books. I personally haven't learned business from a book. It is something I've learned along the way of trying to explore my passions and ideas. I'll think more about that though.
I'd say get your foundation in order first. All the business knowledge on the planet isn't going to help you start a thriving business until you get the foundation right first. Search TH-cam here for "Start with Why" or "The Infinite Game" written by Simon Sinek (INFJ). Another great one for us INFJ/INTJ's is "Captivate" by Vanessa Van Edwards (ENFP).
> I started a journey - years ago when all my world of works - came apart. I worked diligently to put together a cohesive life, based on my values & beliefs of what is good & meaningful. - > I got sidetracked- and lost in another rabbit hole, for many years. And then my world came apart again. - I did my best to hang on to remnants.. Then CvD - entered. .: • In my experience of almost 2 years of isolation - I came to see that I am a person beyond all these worldly concepts & doings. . I am amazed to discover how my wonderful BEING was here all along i just didn’t realize 🥳🤩 Until now. .. > I recall years of making paintings to exhibit in art galleries in NYC. > The focus was child’s play …🤸🥰
Omg!! Love this video!!!! Everything you said about ...well all of it is on point and I would say it was word for word, what I have been discussing with friends of mine lately. Thank you
i had my fair share of fighting the dragon, in the end it truly is how we define what winning is to us. thank you for reminding me of this. a lot of your videos was just what i needed to sort my thoughts. best wishes always 😇
Yes, I use the same (or similar) analogy for life: just a very well made video game. Therefor I find it weird and amusing that people are creating another games (video games, virtual reality etc.) inside this game. Modern/civilised life felt already like another layer of abstraction. Digitalisation adds a further layer to it. I wonder whether one day we live in a game we made by ourselves without knowing it. Maybe it's already the case... One reason I find the movie The Matrix and far eastern teachings very interesting. Recently I started to realise that in the end, even if you were free to go everywhere, the earth is just a big cage. Your own body is one as well. And most of the times your mind is the tightest of them all. ;)
Awsome points. All of this is very poignant as our world views and narrative shifts. It's truly time to reimagine our existence together on this beautiful planet.
I always say this! I’ll do whatever I’m told but first I need them to *make it MAKE SENSE!* I’ve been told I ask too many damn questions, but now I realize that’s my superpower. I am always asking *WHY?* I finally realized that now I am a soul, insatiable for light and truth. #INFJ #seekers #PhilosopherQueen #LuxEtVeritas 💡🕊📖
Yes you can exist outside the few "options" you've been conditioned & pressured & manipulated to believe are all that exists. It's really a matter of slowly becoming conscious of all of the individual decisions we've been making somewhat unconsciously, based on the subtle influences and manipulations, and "re-thinking" them...bringing them into our conscious awareness...looking for creative alternatives to things we find "unpalatable". This doesn't have to be some "grand statement"...or even a "fight". Often it can be just realizing "hey...I don't actually have to do this!....no one is holding a gun to my head"...and of course, there may be some discomfort...For instance, here in the US people have become so polarized between "liberal and conservative" that, often, the only way to feel really "supported" by others is to "pick a side" and join in rudely demolishing the other side....and if you happen to think both sides are a bit off their rocker, and therefore disengage from that game, you may find yourself being "distrusted" and even "shunned" by BOTH sides of the equation But this is still a "choice"....It's just a matter of deciding what is most important to us. For me, authenticity, and sanity are so much more important than belonging to a "tribe" that it's a no-brainer decision for me...Although, I'm not going to lie, thinking for oneself and acting accordingly can be terrifying depending on the situation...and there are times when I will consciously "choose" not to make waves when it's just not worth the cost....but at least it's a "conscious" choice...meaning I'm completely aware of what I'm doing...taking the time to at least "try" to find a solution (or loophole!) that will sit well with me...and occasionally "revisiting" the question of possible creative solutions moving forward...This is at least a step in the right direction and is not "giving up" (which would be sort of soul-sucking for me) I'm wondering if it's fair to say your friend is martyring himself or trying to make some kind of "statement". I suppose that could be true...and there could be more to the story that leads you to draw this conclusion....but could it not also be possible that he looked at both options and actually preferred the one he chose? or that he chose the lesser of two undesirable options within the framework of his own values? That he either believes or is "telling himself" the story that he couldn't possibly cooperate with such an unfair outcome and retain any self-respect? Could that be valid?...or might he be too hurt to see the situation clearly? Might his ego be preventing him from taking responsibility for his own part in the outcome? I know there are some guys out there who do go way overboard...who do feel they've been "raked over the coals" more so than is maybe ultlimately true...and yes, people can "cut off their nose to spite their face"...and that is truly unfortunate... I hope for his sake, he's not doing that!
Hi Clay! Thanks for sharing this awesome analysis. I have a question, if we were not to pay tax, what would be other solutions to survive as a society, and help those who are in need? For example, with these taxes, roads are built, lots of maintenance are made, some people receive healthcare, etc... I agree that the government takes so much money from us. And I would be happy to have all of the money I gain when I get paid because I really don’t have money. But, how would we handle the expenses for the society? Maybe from the money the country makes, but aren’t we the ones who make the money the country makes? I love seeing the roads clean, I love breathing fresh air, seeing lots of trees around, etc... if we were to pay ourselves, each one of us for these expenses, wouldn’t it be more expensive? At the same time, it is also unfair that some pay more and some pay less with these contributions. And those who pay less barely have enough to survive. I wonder what would be a better solution.
This is why I champion for ecosocialism. If you haven’t heard of it, its worth it to look it up (search Howie Hawkins). Living comfortably but not above your means as to take from the person next to you. If you live in America like me, its frustrating that our inherent capitalism drives us to this barbaric state of ‘winner takes all’. Oh, and not to mention our voiceless environment is what has to suffer as a result of fracking for oil and fossil fuels, exploiting other countries by outsourcing for cheap labor and resources, deforesting lands to clear them for industry, and warming our earth. I think for far too long people have been scared of the word socialism and media tries to portray it as something sinister, when in actuality it is simply wanting others to have enough to fulfill their dreams and desires without having to live in fear or hunger or pain. I know Clay talked about playing within the system as a result of the child phase, but what if we were to change the rules of the system? I have hope for a brighter future for my kids/grandkids/etc. Will it change in my lifetime? Probably not, but I can be hopeful. After all, America is under 300 years old and look how much change we have undergone already. It seems to me this change is only accelerating as a result of social media (but is also a double-edged sword as people can engage in the echo-chambers of Facebook and bury their heads in fake news).
@@HunterM09 I think most of us are scared of changes. We are scared of the unknown, and that is probably why we believe that socialism is the worst. And there is also the idea that our worth/intellect/labor/value is better than that of anyone else, therefore, we need to have more financial freedom than others. Capitalism is bad in some sense, but it is good in other ways. For example, would we be as competitive as we are now, coming up with new innovations in order to improve qualities of life and the world, if capitalism was not involved in the question? I think socialism might limit us, if we are the types who need some stimuli in order to progress. I think a combination of the both would be great, yet it seems impossible. Maybe diminishing the standard deviation between salaries and providing people of a minimum wage that will sustain a decent lifestyle to them. One that does not require working two to three jobs to raise children, or pay for loans...
THIS is something EVERYONE has to decide. Do you want to be a servant, or do you want to take Your Own power. Government has only the power We give them. Never let them forget it
Decisions are made from the limbic brain which is the emotional part (primal) of our brain, while logic/rationality exist in our neo cortex. So, its by nature very difficult for us to abide by logic or rationality.
YES! Please make a video about starting your own business! I daydream about opening my own yoga business but think I don't have enough tools to manage it.
Hi Clay, I have recently discovered your videos and they are amazing. You are putting in exact words wat my mind thinks. It feels like I have discovered my INFJ clone in a male version. Thank you so much for being so open an creating these videos.
Just eating my Cheerios and listening to the video about a topic I never thought about before but feel like I was just validated on💪 what a mind stimulating video! He is so good at explaining things too😮
That’s my ideal situation, I’m working to start my own business as well. I hold those exact thoughts, though I do work from home it’s not that same. I do find it difficult to hold back my ideas from the company I work for as I don’t want an issue with intellectual property as I’ll be starting the same type of business as what I’m working in.
Thank You So Very Much For Sharing..Im A Very Empathetic Person Very Caring This World Where In Today Is Quite Cruel.I Feel In Love With A Highly Narcisstic Person..Im Not The Same Anymore..Very Low Self It Just Seems Like Ppl Don't Have Empathy Or Compassion Anymore...I Watched Ur Video On The Overt Narcissist..Thank U Ur Videos Are Very Helpful..
I went through my life thinking this rebellion to how things are run in this country ( I live in America lol) was what everyone else could easily see and understand but when I do share my views to certain types they look at me like I’m part of the reason it’s all going to fall apart ( well perhaps I am but maybe it needs to fall apart 😆so it can put our back together in a better way .) I could not understand why more people weren’t feeling the need to think more deeply on certain things . I feel so trapped by the system and I dream of being like that guy you spoke of living in the mountains lol . I really did not fully understand that these people live for the rules and don’t question them as much as we do but now that you’ve said that I can name people in my life that are just like that and they can’t fathom why I think as I do lol .
In your next video, is investing in an existing business a Good way to start owning a business? Please provide Examples. Do you recommend starting small or « Go big or go home » With partners?
I also started my own business and would never go back! This video is 100% on point and I loved every second of it. I would love to hear your thoughts on business, please do it! I have shared my story in business and love hearing others.
I agree with you on most things but have to add- This mentality of fighting against everything we feel limits our freedom or "against the system" is faulty from the start. Like Marxists centering history only around the injustice of burgeoisie or feminists only seeing the horrors of the patriarchy, if you seek to find things that limit your freedom, after a while this is all you will see. Power and freedom are both an illusion. This battle reminds me of a play inspired by the Quranic/Biblical character of Yunus/Jonah, written by the Romanian writer Eugen Ionescu, where the main character, Iona, thinks he has escaped the whale, only to find out that his whale was inside a bigger one and so on. You may escape your country, family, society, but you are still never free. You are still part of these laws of physics, this Earth and Universe and have a mortal body that is very limiting and that has needs that cannot be stopped. ------- “This day fifty years ago I was born. From solitude in the womb, we emerge into solitude among our fellows, and return again to solitude within the grave. We pass our lives in the attempt to mitigate that solitude. But propinquity is never fusion. We exchange words, but exchange them from prison to prison, and without hope that they will signify to others what they mean to ourselves. We marry and there are two solitudes in the house instead of one; we beget children, and there are many solitudes. We reiterate the act of love; but again propinquity is never fusion. The most intimate contact is only of surfaces, and we couple, as I have seen the condemned prisoners at Newgate coupling with their trulls, between the bars of our cages. Pleasure cannot be shared; like pain, it can only be experienced or inflicted, and when we give pleasure to our lover or bestow charity upon the needy, we do so, not to gratify the object of our benevolence, but only ourselves. For the truth is that we are kind for the same reason as we are cruel, in order that we may enhance the sense of our own power; and this we are for ever trying to do, despite the fact that by doing it we cause ourselves to feel more solitary than ever. The reality of solitude is the same in all men, there being no mitigation of it, except in forgetfulness, stupidity or illusion; but a man's sense of solitude is proportionate to the sense and fact of his power. In any set of circumstances, the more power we have, the more intensely do we feel our solitude. I have enjoyed much power in my life.” Aldous Huxley, After Many a Summer Dies the Swan ------- Abu Huraira reported: The Messenger (s) said, “The world is a prison for the believer (the one who is aware) and a paradise for the unbeliever (the ignorant).” Ṣaḥīḥ Muslim 2956
You have a "rational" mindset, Clay. Most people dont want to boil things down to their core essence. They very much take things as they are. I share this mindset and, as such, have a hard time enjoying popular entertainment. For example, I just cant enjoy The Avengers without wondering, for example, why the aliens didnt have a plan of attack to deal with The Avengers or more advanced weaponry, etc.
I like this analogy with the game. I like it very much because it fits right to how I like to play games. I play to enjoy time with the people I play with, and I like to do good at it and get to the goal fast and with cleverness. But still, usually only one can get to the goal first and much mor important in the game is to enjoy the time together, so thats the overall goal everyone could win at if they see it. So seeing the kids finding a strategy or laughing is much more rewarding to me than winning myself even if I could outsmart them. And sometimes running right before them lets them try hard while not giving up, so they learn to be persistent and not give up. It all depends on so much. And there is something sooo rewarding when you enjoy watching how people react, how they form strategies and learn from it, while some of them can only enjoy the game if they are the winner. Its like that with life. Some are so stubborn in how they think life should be and are so unhappy day in day out. But they are crushed when something unexpected happens or they „live“ and at some point figure out that the kids are grown and they missed it all. Much of life is about creating the life you like, enjoying it as much as you can and staying away from those people who try to make you miserable to win themselves.
Truth! Look up the etymology of the word media, coming from the word sorcery. I think from greek. Systems are like current Babylon. They see individuality as a threat.
Me thinking that all along I am unrelatable so I need to change and fit in, in the depths of my despair. Thankyou for this eyeopenin mybe critical thinking always wrks for me.
My brother is an INTJ-A AND I’m a INFP-T. I wish I was an INFP-A… but we have a wonderful relationship according to him. He loves that I am willing to go out and try to change the system but he tells me what you said.
I just love how eloquently, authentically, transparently you verbalize-vocalize the depths of us Mature INFJs heart-mind-body-spirit-energetics-soul-consciousness dynamics. It’s an oddly reaffirming and pleasurable experience watching a fellow kindred INFJ, such as yourself, speak to these levels in the manner that you often do. Thank you for showing up in the way that you do. Your presence is an inexpressible sublime joy. My hope and wish for you is that you continue to thrive, and prosper, and attain that which is most fulfilling, nourishing and nurturing to you.
You just said everything I was going to write to him. Honestly it feels incredibly amazingly good to have another fellow INFJ voicing what we have in mind. It is even a bit shocking but reassuring.
I can only blubberingly re-iterate the sentiments above. Just in my reading each of your comments it seems a near universal truth that for us #INFJs truly on the path to enlightenment, the written word is a sort of psychological playground, a safe space through which we may express the deep and complex thoughts and emotions that reverberate in our minds. This kind of validation is a salve for the soul. 🙏🏽
💡🕊📖
In my observation it appears that the vast majority of people have either lost their capacity for critical thinking, or they perhaps would rather follow the masses because it’s both more convenient and far less challenging. Personally, I’ve never been interested in living that way. Each of us is given one physical body in which to reside for a lifetime, and we have choices. A lot of people base their choices on fear of the unknown (I certainly have and still do), but the key to so-called happiness (rather I should say contentment) is to base your decision making on alignment with YOUR sense of individual purpose; obviously, as long as you aren’t going to bring harm, and it’s within reason, etc... the vast majority of people simply follow what they see others around them doing, and they wonder why their life is so unfulfilled. To each their own, though. For some, all things considered, that way of life is easier; and I get that. It’s not for me.
Convenience is all America is about. Doing what has been done before, living as your parents did, etc. I would rather die for what I believe than to live a life without meaning. (You can look at my post for some more of my thoughts on this topic)
I don't believe people have either lost their capacity for critical thinking though, but rather they never had it from the get go. I searched high and low and couldn't find much info about exactly what I was looking for until one day (kinda out of nowhere ) "Objective Recitation". Most people for the majority of their lives had learned to categorize every facet of live into easily organized boxes (think like a multiplication table chart) So if everything is laid out in this system when you have a conversation with a person, a question is brought up its simply "oh thats an "H" column thing and thats a heavy question so like and "8" go to space H-8 to get answer. Then they stated already pre prepared answer and thats good enough. But its when you abstract things and twist concepts they get extremely annoyed. This is why they get so hostile... When ones world is built so directly with rigid yes/no good/bad and something disrupts it its so alien to them and scary that not only is it not to be able to speak, but its existence not be tolerated.
That was my big revelation as well. The absence of critical thinking means that this needs to become the guiding principle of society, not religion, not racial identity, not wealth. This is what puzzled me as a young INFJ. Why weren't people trying to make sense, instead of yelling and scaring the rest of us?
@Saeed Broumand When your only tool is a hammer, everything looks like a nail. The INFJ has a big toolbox and draws up the best possible set of plans when looking for ways to fix the world. Meanwhile there are the guys with their hammers doing their thing.
At first, the world doesn't seem to make any sense. When it starts to become more understandable, we can see all of the things that are wrong and feel the despair of that understanding. Those who make a difference are able to get past the stage of despair and get down to work and make things better.
@Saeed Broumand Yes, you are correct on what is the meaning of the letters INFJ. You are in the right place to find all the information you could want on what we INFJs are and what we do that is so different from many of the other 16 mbti types. There is much to learn. This channel and the many others on You Tube are an excellent source of information on the subject of this rare type. Good luck on your search.
Yep. Cannot take ourselves or life too seriously.
Easier said than done for infj, but important to keep reminding ourselves and focusing on what we CAN do joyfully.
It’s so nice to have someone voice how I feel in general. These questions I have asked myself many times.
You are the most person I wanna have a discussion with.
I’ve had to dig so deep into psychology, philosophy, politics etc to work out my own path and personal beliefs because I want to live a good, moral, wise life. It’s been long and exhausting but I had no choice. I don’t think many do the same. The more you learn about life, the more problems you see, corruption, ignorance, evil. It’s a hard road. You have to decide to limit your ambitions to correct things, or you would go crazy and burn yourself out. The good news is INFJs look for universal concepts which inform in innumerable ways. This we tend to be Svengalis.
I also would like to see a video on starting a business; or at least, how to decide what type of business is best personally suited
I hate the rat race. It feels wrong and pointless to me. It’s crazy how you described life as a game. I definitely started to feel this way after having travelled the world for a year. People complicate their lives in ways they don’t realize. I want a simple and happy life, and successful in the way I define success for myself.
The “Game”. Life is absolutely, The Game. I’ve done the Irate, player, the Drag Dog, and the Loophole seeker. Intimately, learning to find a satisfying place within the Cage, is the best way, for me, to live in this illusion. Your conversations, are always Spot on. Those of us, with “Like” personalities, must be on a wavelength. It’s really satisfying and Hopeful, to hear your thoughts. Thanks, Clay. Powerful stuff.
Same, when I see humans who are overly impulsive, I feel like I’m not a member of human race. I swear
This is wild you're describing my thought process exactly.
Appreciate this sir.
Been on the edge of full-on hermit mode for a few years. At this point I'm just a boat on the river with no paddles
Me too!
What you say makes complete sense. Like your forest friend, I have thought of going against the system a countless times, only to realize that it doesn't work. You just have to find the right balance and exist like the dog. Clay, you echo my thoughts. Thank you sharing those.
Do not have the time for a lengthy response, but I agree with everything you are saying, but am glad you are saying it out loud. Really great insights, my friend!
Brother, the main reason I've had as much trouble in my life as I've had is because I didn't really know myself.
It took me until age 40 to really start waking up, and I'm 47 this year.
Looking backwards, it all makes sense now.
I've never felt so understood and misunderstood all at the same time. It like "bruh, same!" and then you remember you are living in the same confusing world. It is almost like living outside the box that is still inside the box
Yes please on the “how to start your own business, and with the right idea” (especially as an INFJ). Thank you for the good vibes you’re putting out there, much appreciated.
I get a lot the feeling of freedom as a theme in your talk...
The idea of freedom is a big thing for me.. mentally chasing what real freedom is...but I think it's an unreachable thing... beyond human.. beyond life itself...
I love your videos! Thanks much Clay!😄💖
I'll listen to this when i find time today, but title already covers 90% of my daily questioning.
Right? That's what I'm asking myself every day. :)
@@nobodyknows3260 Yeah tragic😅 like i wake up every day and do almost the same and then be like: why? For sure sth i could talk about for ages and still have sth to say😂
@@akindantagonist8708😄
I'm a server and my paychecks are voided from taxes, my tips are taxed and then if I buy food with that money It gets taxed. It's like repeatedly having money taken out before I even use it
Finally I found someone just like me 🙏 thank you Clay for speaking about these things. I feel just like you. Once I thought about having children and I just felt that I just couldn’t do it because I felt I would give birth to a child inside of a prison. And force the child to cope with things that I don’t cope. This world sometimes looks like the garden of eden transformed into a prison. So many rules, so many constructions. Feeling free to be ones self is really rare here.
Clay you have a philosophical character. You are very insightful and observant and you can speak about things I think with myself.
Thank you for mentioning the marriage issue! Ive always found it illogical, but no one seems to question it.
You can change the system by transforming yourself... or maybe I should say: You can change the system by finding yourself?
The "cage", this feeling of being unfree, exists as long as you don't recognize what you are tide to. All systems exist in our minds and they make us behave the way we do. The pressure we feel to behave a certain way is called expectation. Expectations and habitual behavior make up the system. You can only change the systems when you recognize what's pressuring you and develop the ability to release it. When you don't feel the cage anymore, you are free. Real change is happening internally and individually. You can inspire others, but you cannot force them to change.
Have you asked your friend how he's feeling with his new life? Does he feel free or does he feel like he is running away?
Thanks for this video, I enjoyed it.
He seems a bit tortured to be honest. He's constantly trying to resist everything. He has a lot of angst.
Literally for the first time in my life I heard the same quiestions asked ny some other person. Great insights from a wise person. Keep it up man
I feel like life is a struggle, where people don't take themselves seriously enough, but maybe I'm just tired of the crap I see around me.
I recently discovered your yt account and was immediately drawn by your eloquent, honest and richly in depth thoughts about this topic. Instant subscriber! ✨ Thank you for providing such great, relatable and interesting content.💯
Our nation got sucked into this “reality tv” way of existing and we all know it’s fake. As you said, there lacks a logical basis, “substance” for how people behave and systems operate. I hate the way the media is allowed to play on emotions and psychological welfare and gets away with it.
I recently learned “the system” is also confining and constricting of an individuals freedom. Going through divorce and the selection process of jury duty are two ares that I discovered “this doesn’t make sense”. I don’t want to do jury duty! Pick people who enjoy the process and believe in the system. And the way people make money off our divorce miseries is sickening. These two concepts are something I’ve awoken to this past year. Now currently, I am starting a legal battle with my college (along with 12 other students) to fight for changes that the school is implementing impeding our ability to pass classes and graduate to no fault of our own.
And then you feel, “am I the only one seeing all the flaws in the system? Is this gonna be my whole life wherever I go... this isn’t a job.” So what do we do 🤷🏻♀️
I live in the US and we are not free. But freer than other countries. People come to the US to work and make money, not to live. The US is a guinea pig for the world. It’s like that movie, “Hunger Games”. You’re just trying to get through it alive all the while carving out space for the things that actually matter.
A good example is buying a home. You never really truly own a home. You pay off your mortgage and for the rest of your life you are paying property tax on that home. Old people lose their homes if they do not or forget to pay their property tax. Is that really owning your home? Or how about people who contribute to taxes for educational services but you never had kids... is that fair?
Thanks for the reminders too! For years, I realized what you did - about the "dragon" and how silly ir is to constantly fight it. However, with all of the insanity in the US at this time, I have become entirely too caught up with things over which I have absolutely no control. It's far better to work on myself, find ways to pay off debt, and improve my own life wherever I can.
Such a great video. I've been struggling to find a worthy business to create but my main goal in life is to work from home and answer to absolutely no one! Please make this video for us (if you want) haha!!
Hi, I love watching your videos and Iam very grateful for each of them as everything you say reflect entirely my thoughts and processes. It is kind of shocking but so, so reassuring. I agree with everything you mentionned and I think I've reached that point in my life where I conceive life as a game that you shouldn't take too seriously and I was (still am a bit I guess) that very serious person who was angry and felt everything was so unfair and nothing made sense.
My mum (whom I don't get along at all and is mentally ill) used to say "All work and no play makes Jack a stupid boy" instead of "dull" and that kind of stayed in a corner of my head. Now I am evolving and growing as a person and I've come to your final thoughts. That brings some peace and other perspectives.
I thought for a long time about creating my own business as I think it would get along with what I want in my life for me and I would be very, very grateful if you would make some videos about business as you suggested in the end of the video.
I don't comment often but thank you for everything you do, it makes me feel less crazy (I guess every INFJ thinks the same haha).
People compare themselves to each other using reference systems. They find a meaning in life in being better than somebody else. Better in sports, in work, in clothes, etc.
Once again you hit home for me and right when I needed it. Thanks!!!!
Life is definitely nothing but the game. You make so much sense, Clay. Your philosophy resonates with me so much. Thank you for your insightful videos, you are great. Do not forget to have a little fun along the way 😉
Great insights here! Loved the ending, and yes - would love info on starting a business. I'm like-minded in so many ways. I love working from home and so content doing that.
Clay, I have watched your other videos on Christianity and quite enjoyed them. I think you mean quite well and that you’re searching for logic and reason. I have been impressed with your character. One danger of people who place these values on a pedestal, and I am certainly one such person as well, is that you can sometimes be led to believe that you see the world clearly and for what it is and it is instead merely others who are infected by bias, appeals to emotion, irrationality etc. If you continue on your journey, and I hope you do, I hope you seriously get into topics in philosophy and research in psychology and sociology. I think a deep engagement in these fields often brings one to the conclusion that we ourselves are constantly infected with bias, irrationalities, and, above all: motivated reasoning.
The issue I have here is that your worldview, like most people’s worldview, is still being informed not merely by clear-eyed rationality but also by your own self-interest and your positionality in the world. Your worldview and perspective is dominated by your positionality as a handsome young-ish white male small business owner. If we really truly wish to be honest with ourselves - and I think you do from what I’ve witnessed of you - I think it’s necessary to comprehend how the ego regularly bends the world to fit our desires and to protect the self. This was Freud’s most important contribution to human understanding.
Consider this: I sympathize with your struggles with the reality of a state - and there are many logical and valid criticisms of the state - but dare to take your critique one step further. In our system, capitalism, most people structurally have to be workers and owners are necessarily a minority. That means most people have to labour for someone else’s profit. Now any small business owner incurs real risks, but the system in the aggregate is quite profitable. You complain of having no other recourse but to have the government take from you - well, that’s precisely the relationship of most employees to their employer. Please seriously consider this. The workers of the world do the large majority of the actual work - and they have very little actual choice. Yes, you can go start your own business but someone else will have to do the work you were once doing (and quite obviously, some people have access to vastly more capital to take more risks with in the market - its not at all a remotely fair playing field. As you well know, one small wrong move for the small business owner with limited access to capital means ruination - not so much for many others of less limited means). This is every bit a part of the cage that you were referring to - in fact I would suggest it constitutes most, but not all, of the cage. There is virtually no “outside” to capitalism - we are forced, often quite against our will, in participating in it. If you’re not working for someone else’s profit, or extracting profit from someone else, then you’re quite literally homeless and hungry. Those who get to enjoy owning large chunks of the means of production can sit back and watch as their investments and other assets rise. When people say “get your money to make money” - where does that money come from? Not entirely but largely from other people working for your benefit. I think you might surmise this, but its a reality you might be keeping yourself from to protect your sense of self - and certainly that same culture that you critique will absolutely aide you in this avoidance.
There is no ‘outside’ to ideology - you have managed to free yourself of the ideology of Christianity but we are always stepping outside one ideology and into another. No ideology is nearly as dominant in Canada or in other wealthy countries as that of hyper-individualist capitalism. In fact, I see how it traps you in its solipsism - nearly your entire video is speaking from the perspective of an atomized and isolated individual who must somehow ‘figure it out’ entirely by yourself. The lack of ‘other people’ in your video is quite conspicuous. I do not mean this as a criticism but as a mere observation. You desire complete independence - who doesn’t really? - but you avoid that we are inevitably mutually dependent on one another.
There is a reason why humans in a state of nature do not wander off by themselves. We are innately a social creature, and that entails some obligation to one another. Too much of our tax burden falls on small business owners like yourself while those on top have lawyers and accountants to shirk their responsibility. But you leave out how the taxes seem particularly onerous in part because of a cost of living you incur living in Vancouver that is largely to the benefit of the ownership class. The taxes you pay aren’t sent down a money tube to the bottom of the ocean, they largely help ensure that you live in a country with some baseline level of decency, where you don’t have to fear you will be carjacked at any intersection like you find in Mexico or Brazil or any other country with a desperate underclass and an often mendacious elite.
Now, do I think capitalism is ending anytime soon or that there is a quick and easy solution to the cage of capitalism? No I don’t. I understand people’s pragmatic engagement in it. All I ask you is that you question your own certainties and values - particularly the values this society very much fosters (the ‘taken for granted’ being the ultimate and most successful field of ideology). If you want to set yourself up so that everyone else does the work for you and you can just sit back and relax for the rest of your life or whatever, I mean I can understand why that seems quite agreeable to anyone. But I would challenge you to consider the implications and morality of that as well.
Much love,
Sean
I honestly do believe - and yes I know I am biased (but I do know my bias) is towards left-wing philosophy - that these concepts require some engagement with in order to have a more clear-eyed perspective of the complexities of today’s society and the values that are so propagated around us we often fail to notice them: Theodor Adorno’s concept of the culture industry, Debord’s concept of the spectacle, Baudrillard’s concept of hyperreality, Gramsci’s concept of cultural hegemony and Marx’s conception of ideology. Maybe some Freud and Otto Rank as well.
I’m not the sort of dreaded postmodernist who believes that humans are perpetually and forever incapable of seeing themselves with some accuracy or reaching logical conclusions, but I do believe we are kidding ourselves into a self-mythology of the fully rational subject - which clearly far too many people do, especially online - if we are not seriously engaging with very powerful critiques of the modes of our existence in society and deeply plumbing the depths of our perceptions and certainties. Many of our undeclared certainties quite neatly align with our self-interests and the interests propagated by society, so we’re far less likely to submit them to critical evaluation. But I think its necessary to do so to arrive at a point that is not merely driven by ego and self-centredness (not that these things are in themselves evil or unworthy of defence).
I totally understand Clay! It's like whose ideas were they and who signed me up for them! There is so much that doesn't make sense.
I think we are very controlled and cannot even imagine the depths.
I started watching your videos maybe just from yesterday & I'm loving it, it's useful. I'm also avoiding watching news.
About taxes, you could move to Puerto Rico and pay only 4%.
Very good points here.
Life is a bit like a game where you set your own goal post.
I have a few ideas of why some of us do not fit it and it comes from perceptions about the world that others do not appear to have. Some of these perceptions or traits are:
- a personal code of morality that differs from external codes of morality.
- having intuition as your dominant function
- high level of sensitivity/empathy
I have felt practically no sense of belonging during my lifetime because of many of the themes you have touched on in this video. Another INFJ has suggested that being N dominants it often feels like we are being gaslight by tribe. I feel no one understands me at all.
There is another suggestion, the world has been built from "SJ" perspectives and values. As I understand it SJs, like this feeling of belonging and knowing their role in a system. Its no wonder it feels like a system because it is and from my perspective its deeply broken. I know many people I have pointed this out to cannot follow my reasoning and I am often seen as being the problem.
Be glad you are in introvert because this is really a hard problem for an extrovert that wants meaningful connection with others.
It is interesting that despite our differences, ENFP to INFJ. I experience the world similarly to yourself. It doesn't surprise me though from what I have learned about our types. We are each on a quest towards truth, we just do it in a kind of upside down fashion than the other. If you ever want to tackle a challenging video .. define truth .... good luck :)
I admire your work in self actualization.
ENFP (Also Canadian)
My whole life I’ve been looking around at everyone around me and thinking “what is this??” .. I totally resonate with everything you say clay!
I am so glad that someone eventually talks about this thing that has bothered me all my life! Social norms and rules. At age 50 I still don't get them right, but I'm okay with that now. Here's to all you weirdos spicing up life with your awkwardness!
I loved that you talked about Vulcanians... I have always identified with them and also, have been told that maybe I come from Vulcan 💖
I agree with you Clay, life is a game just as much as business is.
This might not make sense but i'll try my best. Personally, the worst part about feeling this way is that I can understand the other side of the argument and understand why some systems need to be in place even though I do not believe we should be conformed by them. So it creates this tension inside me with the two opposing sides. one of this independency and freedom of choice, and the other of compliance to the regulations as it benefits the society as a whole. I can't explain it properly. Idk if other INFJs feel this way too
Explains exactly how I feel...
A video on starting your own business would be wonderful!😊
As soon as you mentioned our conception of freedom and the cage metaphor i thought of bullet with butterfly wings and right after you quote it
Writing in my journal recently I described myself as feeling stuck in a box. Listening to you I realize that I'm stuck inside a box...which is stuck inside what you describe as a cage. The box I am stuck in (that confines me) consists of sex-role stereotypes and expectations. I realize now that only I have the power to 'Houdini' my way out of it...
Oh yes! Order and Chaos. It's a topic that was already mentioned in ancient religions (ok, religions are based on chaos and order). Jordan Peterson is aiming at these topics with his 2 books "12 rules for life" and "Another 12 rules of life". The first book was for bringing order into your life, with rules like "Treat yourself like someone you love" or "Make friends with those who want the best for you". Now the second 12 rules book came out and there he has 12 rules for chaos. His reason for this is that he believes (based on his studies) that order is for a stable life, but chaos makes you progress. But you need the energy you gain in your order, to progress in chaos.
PS: I don't say it enough, but I really enjoy your videos. I hope you enjoy my comments too.
PPS: I totally forgot my point. I wanted to state that Star Trek is also dealing with this. There is a species that got all-time happiness (=order), but it's not fulfilling. And his body/soul/spirit (depends on your relgion) is telling him that it's not the right way all the time. And Mr. Spock discovers this.
Ok, now I finally finished the video. Rules, laws and so on are just rules which most of the humans accept. There are enpugh exceptions, but let's talk about jurisdictions like Canada, USA, Germany. F.e. deep talks. The reason why many conversations are more superficial is that many people want to talk about superfficial stuff. But on the other hand noone will be mad if you make your own group with people who like deep talks and do them there. And this is happening everyday. But if you want to have information from someone inside the superficial realm, you need to play according to their rules.
Now let's apply this to selling something. You can use your own rules, but than you either sell nothing or you have to know how to reach the audience that plays according to your rules. Or you take the rules most of the people use and apply them.
On the example of paying taxes. First we all should realize that we own nothing. The country/state is the landlord and we have to pay different rents. Somehow these rents turned into taxes, since enough people didn't want to play after these rules. Now yyu can accept the rules in live in your country, or you get a boat, tons of steel and build your own island in international seas (or maybe you find an unknown island, that would be very impressing).
The problem for me was that nobody told me that. Society seems full of such beautiful lies. They say you can be whatever you want, that you are free and are totally missing responsuibilities. Another of these lies is "Get a good education, nice grades and apply for a job and everything will be fine". Nah, you still can get fired. And getting fired is crucial. As an employee you basically live from month to month. But I have to honor the out-of-work benefits in some countries.
I really appreciate your videos and thank you very much. Can you make a video about the challenges you faced as a teenager?
Same. finally a video on this. Its like your reading in my mind.
I listen to almost all videos with a speed of 2 but i listen to Clay with normal speed and on repeat sometime in the future :-D think most INFJs are sigma and we would rather go our own way but that may not be the best option for us sometimes. Kindly Keep on posting Clay ! :-)
16:26 You would love the show Attack on Titan
Yes! please do another video on starting your own business / entrepreneurship. Your first vid on the topic was stellar and it is very difficult to find a perspective out there from other radically free thinkers like yourself. I have an idea for a business and your last video inspired me a lot. It would be great if you could talk about how to hone in and hash out an idea as you suggest. Maybe even do a weekly segment! Another channel! Your advice is good!
I'm 29 and i've never voted before for the reasons listed in this video. I just don't care to conform to the system. Even though a government would be chosen regardless, it would just be going against my own will if I voted, and I really don't have a desire to! Btw I'm also a fellow Canadian and INFJ ✌
Couldn’t agree with you more Clay thanks for making this one
I think it'd be really cool to hear about your top 5 or so favorite business books in a video
good question... the reality is I don't really read business books. I personally haven't learned business from a book. It is something I've learned along the way of trying to explore my passions and ideas. I'll think more about that though.
I'd say get your foundation in order first. All the business knowledge on the planet isn't going to help you start a thriving business until you get the foundation right first. Search TH-cam here for "Start with Why" or "The Infinite Game" written by Simon Sinek (INFJ). Another great one for us INFJ/INTJ's is "Captivate" by Vanessa Van Edwards (ENFP).
> I started a journey - years ago when all my world of works - came apart. I worked diligently to put together a cohesive life, based on my values & beliefs of what is good & meaningful. -
> I got sidetracked- and lost in another rabbit hole, for many years.
And then my world came apart again. - I did my best to hang on to remnants..
Then CvD - entered. .:
• In my experience of almost 2 years of isolation
- I came to see that
I am a person beyond all these worldly concepts & doings. .
I am amazed to discover how my wonderful BEING was here all along i just didn’t realize 🥳🤩
Until now. ..
> I recall years of making paintings to exhibit in art galleries in NYC.
> The focus was child’s play …🤸🥰
Thanks for the audio versions. I listen to your videos will going to bed. Now I dont have to rip them to audio. Much appreciated.
Omg!! Love this video!!!! Everything you said about ...well all of it is on point and I would say it was word for word, what I have been discussing with friends of mine lately. Thank you
I agree with ALL OF THIS. I would like to see a series of videos on starting a business.
i had my fair share of fighting the dragon, in the end it truly is how we define what winning is to us. thank you for reminding me of this. a lot of your videos was just what i needed to sort my thoughts. best wishes always 😇
Covering some very hot topics that have been bothering me especially lately.
Thanks Clay!
Yes, I use the same (or similar) analogy for life: just a very well made video game. Therefor I find it weird and amusing that people are creating another games (video games, virtual reality etc.) inside this game. Modern/civilised life felt already like another layer of abstraction. Digitalisation adds a further layer to it. I wonder whether one day we live in a game we made by ourselves without knowing it. Maybe it's already the case... One reason I find the movie The Matrix and far eastern teachings very interesting.
Recently I started to realise that in the end, even if you were free to go everywhere, the earth is just a big cage. Your own body is one as well. And most of the times your mind is the tightest of them all. ;)
“If you take life too seriously, you’ll never get out alive.”
Awsome points. All of this is very poignant as our world views and narrative shifts. It's truly time to reimagine our existence together on this beautiful planet.
I want to hear your thoughts on how to run a business ethically in regards to employees and the ways you source your product
You help me ground myself. I feel less alone watching your videos.. Thank you for being you!
Business videos - yes please!
Given a choice, I will often do it, but forced to do it and I refute. So true, I notice this all the time. Such a weird thing.
Yessss 100% agreed 🙏 I would love to have deep conversations with you ... You’re amazing
About 17min in... took a "depressing turn" 🤣 So relatable 😅. Would so enjoy a small business video 🙏
I always say this! I’ll do whatever I’m told but first I need them to *make it MAKE SENSE!*
I’ve been told I ask too many damn questions, but now I realize that’s my superpower. I am always asking *WHY?* I finally realized that now I am a soul, insatiable for light and truth.
#INFJ #seekers #PhilosopherQueen
#LuxEtVeritas
💡🕊📖
Yes you can exist outside the few "options" you've been conditioned & pressured & manipulated to believe are all that exists. It's really a matter of slowly becoming conscious of all of the individual decisions we've been making somewhat unconsciously, based on the subtle influences and manipulations, and "re-thinking" them...bringing them into our conscious awareness...looking for creative alternatives to things we find "unpalatable". This doesn't have to be some "grand statement"...or even a "fight". Often it can be just realizing "hey...I don't actually have to do this!....no one is holding a gun to my head"...and of course, there may be some discomfort...For instance, here in the US people have become so polarized between "liberal and conservative" that, often, the only way to feel really "supported" by others is to "pick a side" and join in rudely demolishing the other side....and if you happen to think both sides are a bit off their rocker, and therefore disengage from that game, you may find yourself being "distrusted" and even "shunned" by BOTH sides of the equation But this is still a "choice"....It's just a matter of deciding what is most important to us. For me, authenticity, and sanity are so much more important than belonging to a "tribe" that it's a no-brainer decision for me...Although, I'm not going to lie, thinking for oneself and acting accordingly can be terrifying depending on the situation...and there are times when I will consciously "choose" not to make waves when it's just not worth the cost....but at least it's a "conscious" choice...meaning I'm completely aware of what I'm doing...taking the time to at least "try" to find a solution (or loophole!) that will sit well with me...and occasionally "revisiting" the question of possible creative solutions moving forward...This is at least a step in the right direction and is not "giving up" (which would be sort of soul-sucking for me)
I'm wondering if it's fair to say your friend is martyring himself or trying to make some kind of "statement". I suppose that could be true...and there could be more to the story that leads you to draw this conclusion....but could it not also be possible that he looked at both options and actually preferred the one he chose? or that he chose the lesser of two undesirable options within the framework of his own values? That he either believes or is "telling himself" the story that he couldn't possibly cooperate with such an unfair outcome and retain any self-respect? Could that be valid?...or might he be too hurt to see the situation clearly? Might his ego be preventing him from taking responsibility for his own part in the outcome? I know there are some guys out there who do go way overboard...who do feel they've been "raked over the coals" more so than is maybe ultlimately true...and yes, people can "cut off their nose to spite their face"...and that is truly unfortunate... I hope for his sake, he's not doing that!
Hi Clay!
Thanks for sharing this awesome analysis. I have a question, if we were not to pay tax, what would be other solutions to survive as a society, and help those who are in need? For example, with these taxes, roads are built, lots of maintenance are made, some people receive healthcare, etc...
I agree that the government takes so much money from us. And I would be happy to have all of the money I gain when I get paid because I really don’t have money. But, how would we handle the expenses for the society? Maybe from the money the country makes, but aren’t we the ones who make the money the country makes?
I love seeing the roads clean, I love breathing fresh air, seeing lots of trees around, etc... if we were to pay ourselves, each one of us for these expenses, wouldn’t it be more expensive? At the same time, it is also unfair that some pay more and some pay less with these contributions. And those who pay less barely have enough to survive.
I wonder what would be a better solution.
This is why I champion for ecosocialism. If you haven’t heard of it, its worth it to look it up (search Howie Hawkins). Living comfortably but not above your means as to take from the person next to you. If you live in America like me, its frustrating that our inherent capitalism drives us to this barbaric state of ‘winner takes all’. Oh, and not to mention our voiceless environment is what has to suffer as a result of fracking for oil and fossil fuels, exploiting other countries by outsourcing for cheap labor and resources, deforesting lands to clear them for industry, and warming our earth. I think for far too long people have been scared of the word socialism and media tries to portray it as something sinister, when in actuality it is simply wanting others to have enough to fulfill their dreams and desires without having to live in fear or hunger or pain.
I know Clay talked about playing within the system as a result of the child phase, but what if we were to change the rules of the system? I have hope for a brighter future for my kids/grandkids/etc. Will it change in my lifetime? Probably not, but I can be hopeful. After all, America is under 300 years old and look how much change we have undergone already. It seems to me this change is only accelerating as a result of social media (but is also a double-edged sword as people can engage in the echo-chambers of Facebook and bury their heads in fake news).
@@HunterM09 I think most of us are scared of changes. We are scared of the unknown, and that is probably why we believe that socialism is the worst. And there is also the idea that our worth/intellect/labor/value is better than that of anyone else, therefore, we need to have more financial freedom than others. Capitalism is bad in some sense, but it is good in other ways. For example, would we be as competitive as we are now, coming up with new innovations in order to improve qualities of life and the world, if capitalism was not involved in the question? I think socialism might limit us, if we are the types who need some stimuli in order to progress. I think a combination of the both would be great, yet it seems impossible. Maybe diminishing the standard deviation between salaries and providing people of a minimum wage that will sustain a decent lifestyle to them. One that does not require working two to three jobs to raise children, or pay for loans...
Thanks for doing this channel! Great stuff, really!!!
THIS is something EVERYONE has to decide.
Do you want to be a servant, or do you want to take Your Own power.
Government has only the power We give them. Never let them forget it
Decisions are made from the limbic brain which is the emotional part (primal) of our brain, while logic/rationality exist in our neo cortex. So, its by nature very difficult for us to abide by logic or rationality.
I love your serene way of explaining things deeply!
YES! Please make a video about starting your own business! I daydream about opening my own yoga business but think I don't have enough tools to manage it.
Hi Clay, I have recently discovered your videos and they are amazing. You are putting in exact words wat my mind thinks. It feels like I have discovered my INFJ clone in a male version. Thank you so much for being so open an creating these videos.
Just eating my Cheerios and listening to the video about a topic I never thought about before but feel like I was just validated on💪 what a mind stimulating video! He is so good at explaining things too😮
That’s my ideal situation, I’m working to start my own business as well. I hold those exact thoughts, though I do work from home it’s not that same. I do find it difficult to hold back my ideas from the company I work for as I don’t want an issue with intellectual property as I’ll be starting the same type of business as what I’m working in.
Have you ever read Viktor Frankl's book Man's Search for Meaning? I need to reread it again tonite!
I have yes, good book :)
Thank You So Very Much For Sharing..Im A Very Empathetic Person Very Caring This World Where In Today Is Quite Cruel.I Feel In Love With A Highly Narcisstic Person..Im Not The Same Anymore..Very Low Self It Just Seems Like Ppl Don't Have Empathy Or Compassion Anymore...I Watched Ur Video On The Overt Narcissist..Thank U Ur Videos Are Very Helpful..
I went through my life thinking this rebellion to how things are run in this country ( I live in America lol) was what everyone else could easily see and understand but when I do share my views to certain types they look at me like I’m part of the reason it’s all going to fall apart ( well perhaps I am but maybe it needs to fall apart 😆so it can put our back together in a better way .) I could not understand why more people weren’t feeling the need to think more deeply on certain things . I feel so trapped by the system and I dream of being like that guy you spoke of living in the mountains lol . I really did not fully understand that these people live for the rules and don’t question them as much as we do but now that you’ve said that I can name people in my life that are just like that and they can’t fathom why I think as I do lol .
The sandpaper feeling is simply a disagreement with your soul. Your spirit is rejecting it.
In your next video, is investing in an existing business a Good way to start owning a business? Please provide Examples.
Do you recommend starting small
or « Go big or go home » With partners?
I also started my own business and would never go back! This video is 100% on point and I loved every second of it. I would love to hear your thoughts on business, please do it! I have shared my story in business and love hearing others.
I agree with you on most things but have to add-
This mentality of fighting against everything we feel limits our freedom or "against the system" is faulty from the start. Like Marxists centering history only around the injustice of burgeoisie or feminists only seeing the horrors of the patriarchy, if you seek to find things that limit your freedom, after a while this is all you will see. Power and freedom are both an illusion.
This battle reminds me of a play inspired by the Quranic/Biblical character of Yunus/Jonah, written by the Romanian writer Eugen Ionescu, where the main character, Iona, thinks he has escaped the whale, only to find out that his whale was inside a bigger one and so on.
You may escape your country, family, society, but you are still never free. You are still part of these laws of physics, this Earth and Universe and have a mortal body that is very limiting and that has needs that cannot be stopped.
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“This day fifty years ago I was born. From solitude in the womb, we emerge into solitude among our fellows, and return again to solitude within the grave. We pass our lives in the attempt to mitigate that solitude. But propinquity is never fusion. We exchange words, but exchange them from prison to prison, and without hope that they will signify to others what they mean to ourselves. We marry and there are two solitudes in the house instead of one; we beget children, and there are many solitudes. We reiterate the act of love; but again propinquity is never fusion. The most intimate contact is only of surfaces, and we couple, as I have seen the condemned prisoners at Newgate coupling with their trulls, between the bars of our cages. Pleasure cannot be shared; like pain, it can only be experienced or inflicted, and when we give pleasure to our lover or bestow charity upon the needy, we do so, not to gratify the object of our benevolence, but only ourselves. For the truth is that we are kind for the same reason as we are cruel, in order that we may enhance the sense of our own power; and this we are for ever trying to do, despite the fact that by doing it we cause ourselves to feel more solitary than ever. The reality of solitude is the same in all men, there being no mitigation of it, except in forgetfulness, stupidity or illusion; but a man's sense of solitude is proportionate to the sense and fact of his power. In any set of circumstances, the more power we have, the more intensely do we feel our solitude. I have enjoyed much power in my life.”
Aldous Huxley, After Many a Summer Dies the Swan
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Abu Huraira reported: The Messenger (s) said, “The world is a prison for the believer (the one who is aware) and a paradise for the unbeliever (the ignorant).”
Ṣaḥīḥ Muslim 2956
You have a "rational" mindset, Clay. Most people dont want to boil things down to their core essence.
They very much take things as they are.
I share this mindset and, as such, have a hard time enjoying popular entertainment. For example, I just cant enjoy The Avengers without wondering, for example, why the aliens didnt have a plan of attack to deal with The Avengers or more advanced weaponry, etc.
I like this analogy with the game. I like it very much because it fits right to how I like to play games. I play to enjoy time with the people I play with, and I like to do good at it and get to the goal fast and with cleverness. But still, usually only one can get to the goal first and much mor important in the game is to enjoy the time together, so thats the overall goal everyone could win at if they see it. So seeing the kids finding a strategy or laughing is much more rewarding to me than winning myself even if I could outsmart them. And sometimes running right before them lets them try hard while not giving up, so they learn to be persistent and not give up. It all depends on so much. And there is something sooo rewarding when you enjoy watching how people react, how they form strategies and learn from it, while some of them can only enjoy the game if they are the winner.
Its like that with life. Some are so stubborn in how they think life should be and are so unhappy day in day out. But they are crushed when something unexpected happens or they „live“ and at some point figure out that the kids are grown and they missed it all. Much of life is about creating the life you like, enjoying it as much as you can and staying away from those people who try to make you miserable to win themselves.
Wow you are so enlightened I love how you think and enjoying your content, fellow INFJ in 🇿🇦South Africa
Truth! Look up the etymology of the word media, coming from the word sorcery. I think from greek. Systems are like current Babylon. They see individuality as a threat.
Me thinking that all along I am unrelatable so I need to change and fit in, in the depths of my despair. Thankyou for this eyeopenin mybe critical thinking always wrks for me.
My brother is an INTJ-A AND I’m a INFP-T. I wish I was an INFP-A… but we have a wonderful relationship according to him. He loves that I am willing to go out and try to change the system but he tells me what you said.
Man am I glad that you touched on this type of Narrative. Excellent & necessary video 📹🎙
It's always easier to spend someone else's money. Excellent video!
Please make a video on how to start a business. I know exactly what I wanna do but have no idea how to start.
Brother, this is going to hold true for the rest of eternity.