Prelude (?) You are a gorgeous person and I love your videos because they are so relatable, and so real. Hang in there. After watching just 45 seconds, I deal with it by trying to limit any of my obligations as much as possible. Limit anything that is stressful, or cut it out of your life completely. If you've done that already, then move onto stimming a lot, doing what you ordinarily enjoy doing, and force yourself to do that (your special interests) even if you don't feel like it. Chances are that it will still recharge you. Sometimes time is needed to get over whatever pushed you into burnout in the first place (usually there's a main trigger that sets it off - one thing more than what you're capable of usually dealing with). Mentally, I dealt with it using medication, anti-depressants. I was, as my Psychologist put it, a danger to myself and others. After Burnout, I've just lost time, sometimes years of memories. I've referred to things as happening 2 years ago, and they've actually happened 4 years ago. It doesn't make sense to me because I've cut out the traumatic memories. I'm coming out of it now. My triggers were Klinefelter Syndrome Diagnosis, and Cancer. I have to accept the Klinefelter diagnosis, it's congenital 47XXY, and I'm on testosterone for life now. It's a tough pill to swallow and my Psychologist said it might take me up to 2 years to accept and reflect on life. It's now been 22 months and other things (like Autism) have now taken the limelight. Cancer was cut out and I've got a gaping hole in my leg. I've stopped looking at it and obsessing about the ugliness of it. It's safe, it's gone, and I do everything I can to catch another one early, should it re-occur. That was another tough pill to swallow because it runs in the family and I'm on record as being the youngest to get it. I discovered I was Autistic after falling into Burnout from these two events in close succession. I was on anti-depressants for 6 months. My first Burnout was a lot harder (I feel it's odd that I say this in comparison to Cancer and Klinefelter Syndrome). I walked away from my Wife and Son at the time to alleviate the stress of being in a narcissistic relationship, and, well, of having a child. I'm mentally not fit to be a Father. I discovered the hard way. Shutdowns, Meltdowns, and Burnout. I need my alone time, my recharge time, and being a Father did not work for me. This saddens me greatly. It is the worst thing ever to have to come to terms with and accept. I now know that that is greatly to do with Autism and having less capacity to deal, and I've since apologised to both my x-Wife, and my Son. It's something I have to live with for the rest of my life, accept, and know I failed. This Burnout lasted well over 5 years. On anti-depressants for over 2 years.
I have not finished watching yet - I just wanted to say that I really love any videos you make, you just have such a relaxing voice to listen to and a very relatable way of describing your experiences. I hope that you are able to get to the point where you will stop feeling any guilt or even shame about what the burnout causes. I completely hear you about the repeated frustration! Your body may just be doing what it needs to do to eventually re-regulate/reset - but what you are going through sounds so hard and frustrating. For me, it was SO hard to mentally adust to what my new patterns might be - a) I was unfamiliar with life in burnout, so I kept thinking I could do things that I normally would want to do (which could have led to disappointment, shame, guilt, etc. afterwards); b) I didn't have the executive functioning to pick up much on new patterns either; and c) my abilities were so uneven and unpredictable, so it was hard for me to learn to manage/observe patterns anyway. In the end, I benefited from having an extremely understanding and supportive spouse, being able to quit my job and rest for an indefinite amount of time (but it took a long time to even learn to rest, I was so amped up from running on adrenaline prior to quitting my job.) and being to let my life sort of stretch out and flow in whatever directions were needed....engaging in special interests as I needed, limiting my chores as I needed, limiting social contact as much as needed - resting however much I needed. My challenges were doubled because I also developed an autoimmune disorder at the same time, and that was really affecting my health in tricky new ways that I was trying to learn to navigate. I know they mean well, but when others try to make plans for us that we normally would like, sometimes it feels like pressure to go (even though we WANT to, but know we might not be able to) - even having to navigate the decision (realistically, more than once - initially when we say yes, then when we actually come to the event), then dealing with how disappointed we might feel about it afterwards - for that reason, I really just limited my options and my world - so that I would NOT have to make those decisions. At that time, my health was the biggest priority. It has taken about 3 years to gradually feel like I am starting to emerge from burnout - but I am not expecting to be totally back to what I used to be - I am looking for a new normal, but one in which I have and achieve more goals. Even now, I limit myself in ways that others might not understand though - I decided that my priorites are my health, my home (and husband), and my faith (basically a special interest since I was a child). Those limitations are what are working for me now - it means I go to very few places outside the home, maybe only once a week, and they are all quite close to home. There are people who want me to go to their house to visit them, or offer to come to my house to visit me - I have to remind myself that it will mess up what I have going right now, I will lose my balance and crash, so I say no. In fact, once, just a few months after I quit my job, I had seen a little bit of progress that was making me feel happy when my in-laws decided to come spend a week with us at short notice. They only finally understood that I had a health issue when I crashed in my bed for nearly 24 hours due to exhaustion (sheerly from their company!). That visit set my progress back by about 6 months! So I learned the hard way - not only was a sad about the results of it, it also made me feel quite resentful of my in-laws....so to avoid negative feelings like that, I needed to really learn to say NO - and my husband became very protective of my boundaries on my behalf, once he saw how badly I had been affected. When weak, it was difficult for me to maintain my own boundaries, so he was a huge help. Anyways, after 2 years of flopping, over the past year, little by little, I have been able to observe small improvements in areas that matter the most to me. I have heard that autism may be associated with a higher incidence of autoimminue disease, which in my case has caused fatigue, brain fog, memory issues, insomnia, musculoskeletal issues, the list really goes on and on - so that has made things more complex. Being diagnosed was so helpful, because I was able to start addressing it in my own way. This is kind of a tangent going off of my original reply with regards to your burnout - this is my PSA: I would advise anyone with autism to be mindful of the potential to develop autoimmune illnesses. The symptoms might make you feel like they are a part of burnout or depression. I personally think my chronic stress and burnout are what triggered my autoimmune condition. So perhaps the chronic stress of being on the spectrum, and the traumas that are involved with that, can mess with our immune systems (and blood pressure, blood sugar, etc.). Stress is a killer.
Hi, yes i feel you, i feel myself getting into a burnout and had to cancel my planned trip to london next week. I will just take it easy, avoid airplanes, crowds and unknown places. I will spend my birthday on my own and try to treat myself in some way 🙂 It is ok to be sad and angry about being in burnout. Especially after moving. I don't really understand the burnout cycles, how long they actually last and what counts as burnout or just reactions to a particular crisis. It is hard for me to plan for the future when i never know if i will be in burnout then. If you have to make unedited videos in bed it is fine! The most important is that it makes you happy 😊 i think the crappy therapist is unfortunately to be expected (especially in france lol), even though it shouldn't be that way. I hope you didn't move to france for your partner's job? I hope you find another way to financially support yourselves. Keep fighting and i know it will get better at some point ❤
No we didn’t move to France for his job, although the fact that we changed countries probably contributed to him getting fired along with 10% of the company’s employees unfortunately… take care ♥️
A big part of my recovery was figuring out how to allow myself to feel things like anger, even though they didn’t feel “helpful,” even though they made me feel like an ungrateful whiny child. I didn’t realize how much I was suppressing. You asked many times, “how do you stop from getting mad?” The answer is: you don’t stop it. You let yourself be mad or feel hopeless, even though it feels shitty and brings up other feelings like shame. When you let yourself feel these things, they wear out and go away. When you ignore or try to get around them, because you “should@ have a better attitude or whatever your brain is telling you, they just keep coming back over and over.
The other things that helped me out of burnout were fixing my antidepressants (I’ve had depression since I was a kid and my meds needed to change, but I didn’t want to change them, so it really made my burnout worse) and now I’m trying atomoxetine for my ADHD. It has really been helping.
Yes, you must post that video, I feel this is the reason you are depressed yes depressed that therapist should have her license taken away. Because she's the reason you feel the way you do and also go on your trip, I feel that is what you need to get over your depression . You're doing amazing with your videos I truly enjoy take care.
Actually no, going on this trip wouldn’t help with my burnout (as I explained in the video I’m in burnout, not depressed, please look up the difference if you don’t know it) because what I need is rest and low sensory stimulation and no masking, and a busy park + family would provide the opposite, which is why I’m not going. Going out and socialising might help neurotypical people who are indeed in depression, but when you’re an autistic person in burnout your needs are very different. And this therapist has nothing to do with my current state as I’ve been experiencing this for much longer 👍
Aw ❤ i hope u can find some enjoyment where u can. I'm not sure that burnout is something i have a good understanding of so far, kind of afraid to learn about it in a way
I hope you're able to find some activities that satisfy your brain but not overwhelm it. Your situation is sounding more and more like a friend of mine with ME/CFS. She plays a lot of Skyrim and other games. Some ideas for calm but stimulating activities might include designing cross stitch or other embroidery and then stitch them, or perhaps knitting. And it could satisfy a need to feel useful too, if you feel that way.
Prelude (?) You are a gorgeous person and I love your videos because they are so relatable, and so real. Hang in there.
After watching just 45 seconds, I deal with it by trying to limit any of my obligations as much as possible. Limit anything that is stressful, or cut it out of your life completely. If you've done that already, then move onto stimming a lot, doing what you ordinarily enjoy doing, and force yourself to do that (your special interests) even if you don't feel like it. Chances are that it will still recharge you. Sometimes time is needed to get over whatever pushed you into burnout in the first place (usually there's a main trigger that sets it off - one thing more than what you're capable of usually dealing with). Mentally, I dealt with it using medication, anti-depressants. I was, as my Psychologist put it, a danger to myself and others. After Burnout, I've just lost time, sometimes years of memories. I've referred to things as happening 2 years ago, and they've actually happened 4 years ago. It doesn't make sense to me because I've cut out the traumatic memories.
I'm coming out of it now. My triggers were Klinefelter Syndrome Diagnosis, and Cancer. I have to accept the Klinefelter diagnosis, it's congenital 47XXY, and I'm on testosterone for life now. It's a tough pill to swallow and my Psychologist said it might take me up to 2 years to accept and reflect on life. It's now been 22 months and other things (like Autism) have now taken the limelight. Cancer was cut out and I've got a gaping hole in my leg. I've stopped looking at it and obsessing about the ugliness of it. It's safe, it's gone, and I do everything I can to catch another one early, should it re-occur. That was another tough pill to swallow because it runs in the family and I'm on record as being the youngest to get it. I discovered I was Autistic after falling into Burnout from these two events in close succession. I was on anti-depressants for 6 months.
My first Burnout was a lot harder (I feel it's odd that I say this in comparison to Cancer and Klinefelter Syndrome). I walked away from my Wife and Son at the time to alleviate the stress of being in a narcissistic relationship, and, well, of having a child. I'm mentally not fit to be a Father. I discovered the hard way. Shutdowns, Meltdowns, and Burnout. I need my alone time, my recharge time, and being a Father did not work for me. This saddens me greatly. It is the worst thing ever to have to come to terms with and accept. I now know that that is greatly to do with Autism and having less capacity to deal, and I've since apologised to both my x-Wife, and my Son. It's something I have to live with for the rest of my life, accept, and know I failed. This Burnout lasted well over 5 years. On anti-depressants for over 2 years.
I have not finished watching yet - I just wanted to say that I really love any videos you make, you just have such a relaxing voice to listen to and a very relatable way of describing your experiences. I hope that you are able to get to the point where you will stop feeling any guilt or even shame about what the burnout causes. I completely hear you about the repeated frustration! Your body may just be doing what it needs to do to eventually re-regulate/reset - but what you are going through sounds so hard and frustrating.
For me, it was SO hard to mentally adust to what my new patterns might be - a) I was unfamiliar with life in burnout, so I kept thinking I could do things that I normally would want to do (which could have led to disappointment, shame, guilt, etc. afterwards); b) I didn't have the executive functioning to pick up much on new patterns either; and c) my abilities were so uneven and unpredictable, so it was hard for me to learn to manage/observe patterns anyway. In the end, I benefited from having an extremely understanding and supportive spouse, being able to quit my job and rest for an indefinite amount of time (but it took a long time to even learn to rest, I was so amped up from running on adrenaline prior to quitting my job.) and being to let my life sort of stretch out and flow in whatever directions were needed....engaging in special interests as I needed, limiting my chores as I needed, limiting social contact as much as needed - resting however much I needed. My challenges were doubled because I also developed an autoimmune disorder at the same time, and that was really affecting my health in tricky new ways that I was trying to learn to navigate.
I know they mean well, but when others try to make plans for us that we normally would like, sometimes it feels like pressure to go (even though we WANT to, but know we might not be able to) - even having to navigate the decision (realistically, more than once - initially when we say yes, then when we actually come to the event), then dealing with how disappointed we might feel about it afterwards - for that reason, I really just limited my options and my world - so that I would NOT have to make those decisions. At that time, my health was the biggest priority. It has taken about 3 years to gradually feel like I am starting to emerge from burnout - but I am not expecting to be totally back to what I used to be - I am looking for a new normal, but one in which I have and achieve more goals. Even now, I limit myself in ways that others might not understand though - I decided that my priorites are my health, my home (and husband), and my faith (basically a special interest since I was a child). Those limitations are what are working for me now - it means I go to very few places outside the home, maybe only once a week, and they are all quite close to home. There are people who want me to go to their house to visit them, or offer to come to my house to visit me - I have to remind myself that it will mess up what I have going right now, I will lose my balance and crash, so I say no. In fact, once, just a few months after I quit my job, I had seen a little bit of progress that was making me feel happy when my in-laws decided to come spend a week with us at short notice. They only finally understood that I had a health issue when I crashed in my bed for nearly 24 hours due to exhaustion (sheerly from their company!). That visit set my progress back by about 6 months! So I learned the hard way - not only was a sad about the results of it, it also made me feel quite resentful of my in-laws....so to avoid negative feelings like that, I needed to really learn to say NO - and my husband became very protective of my boundaries on my behalf, once he saw how badly I had been affected. When weak, it was difficult for me to maintain my own boundaries, so he was a huge help. Anyways, after 2 years of flopping, over the past year, little by little, I have been able to observe small improvements in areas that matter the most to me.
I have heard that autism may be associated with a higher incidence of autoimminue disease, which in my case has caused fatigue, brain fog, memory issues, insomnia, musculoskeletal issues, the list really goes on and on - so that has made things more complex. Being diagnosed was so helpful, because I was able to start addressing it in my own way. This is kind of a tangent going off of my original reply with regards to your burnout - this is my PSA: I would advise anyone with autism to be mindful of the potential to develop autoimmune illnesses. The symptoms might make you feel like they are a part of burnout or depression. I personally think my chronic stress and burnout are what triggered my autoimmune condition. So perhaps the chronic stress of being on the spectrum, and the traumas that are involved with that, can mess with our immune systems (and blood pressure, blood sugar, etc.). Stress is a killer.
Thanks for sharing, that was very relatable ♥️
Hi, yes i feel you, i feel myself getting into a burnout and had to cancel my planned trip to london next week. I will just take it easy, avoid airplanes, crowds and unknown places. I will spend my birthday on my own and try to treat myself in some way 🙂
It is ok to be sad and angry about being in burnout. Especially after moving. I don't really understand the burnout cycles, how long they actually last and what counts as burnout or just reactions to a particular crisis. It is hard for me to plan for the future when i never know if i will be in burnout then.
If you have to make unedited videos in bed it is fine! The most important is that it makes you happy 😊 i think the crappy therapist is unfortunately to be expected (especially in france lol), even though it shouldn't be that way.
I hope you didn't move to france for your partner's job? I hope you find another way to financially support yourselves.
Keep fighting and i know it will get better at some point ❤
No we didn’t move to France for his job, although the fact that we changed countries probably contributed to him getting fired along with 10% of the company’s employees unfortunately… take care ♥️
A big part of my recovery was figuring out how to allow myself to feel things like anger, even though they didn’t feel “helpful,” even though they made me feel like an ungrateful whiny child. I didn’t realize how much I was suppressing. You asked many times, “how do you stop from getting mad?” The answer is: you don’t stop it. You let yourself be mad or feel hopeless, even though it feels shitty and brings up other feelings like shame. When you let yourself feel these things, they wear out and go away. When you ignore or try to get around them, because you “should@ have a better attitude or whatever your brain is telling you, they just keep coming back over and over.
The other things that helped me out of burnout were fixing my antidepressants (I’ve had depression since I was a kid and my meds needed to change, but I didn’t want to change them, so it really made my burnout worse) and now I’m trying atomoxetine for my ADHD. It has really been helping.
And crochet. I literally needed something to hyperfocus on.
Yes, you must post that video, I feel this is the reason you are depressed yes depressed that therapist should have her license taken away. Because she's the reason you feel the way you do and also go on your trip, I feel that is what you need to get over your depression . You're doing amazing with your videos I truly enjoy take care.
Actually no, going on this trip wouldn’t help with my burnout (as I explained in the video I’m in burnout, not depressed, please look up the difference if you don’t know it) because what I need is rest and low sensory stimulation and no masking, and a busy park + family would provide the opposite, which is why I’m not going. Going out and socialising might help neurotypical people who are indeed in depression, but when you’re an autistic person in burnout your needs are very different. And this therapist has nothing to do with my current state as I’ve been experiencing this for much longer 👍
Aw ❤ i hope u can find some enjoyment where u can. I'm not sure that burnout is something i have a good understanding of so far, kind of afraid to learn about it in a way
I hope you're able to find some activities that satisfy your brain but not overwhelm it.
Your situation is sounding more and more like a friend of mine with ME/CFS. She plays a lot of Skyrim and other games. Some ideas for calm but stimulating activities might include designing cross stitch or other embroidery and then stitch them, or perhaps knitting. And it could satisfy a need to feel useful too, if you feel that way.