The Man Who Violated Me When I Was 8 Kept On Grooming Me
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 28 พ.ย. 2023
- In today's episode of Unfiltered Stories, Nathan Spiteri shares his life story. When he was just 8, he was violated by an older man. Unfortunately, the man who stole his innocence kept on grooming Nathan, leading to a three-year-long relationship that developed as a result of Stockholm Syndrome.
Now he talks about his experiences to change the narrative about CSA and male victims.
#lifestory #survivor #childhood
You can find more about Nathan here:
TED Talk: • The Power of One | Nat...
Article: amp.smh.com.au/national/littl...
mall-town-boy-20181025-p50bvb.html
Book: a.co/d/jhTcpyz
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Our mission is to raise awareness about survivors by delving into their stories, exploring the impact of their experiences, and how they've managed to heal and rebuild their lives.
By sharing these stories, we aim to break the silence surrounding those challenging memories and create a compassionate environment.
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I know a guy who was unmarried, no kids, and was godfather to a friend's daughter. He wanted to have more time with the little girl, including stuff like having her at his place after school. He told me he was disappointed that the parents weren't interested in letting him have more time with her. I thought it was creepy and inappropriate, he had no reason to be alone with the girl.
Omg serious
🤮That was a terrible request for him to make🚫🚫🚫🚫🚫🚫
The real question is, why was he made the "godfather" if he's such a predator 🤔
Very strange indeed. Well done to the parents! 💖
@@artsyterra8350 a godfather is what you call a man who attends your baptism and witnesses it. They’re also responsible for your religious education.
I imagine it's hard for men to come forward and tell their truths, I applaud you buddy ❤️
Terry Crews is also a spokesman and said he would be belittled for it. I think it lets male and female predators get away with their crimes.
the majority of victims are made by men and the majority of those victims don't wanna share their stories because men will shame them or victim blame them.
@@DedicatedBrainWorm terry was belittle by men and males make up 90% of sexual crimes. Most women don't shame victims or victim blame them.
@@allmic101 Men do tend to be the aggressors, but it's hard to know the facts if they aren't reporting it. It's a very common joke about men getting raped in prison and that is a sexual crime and MANY men are in prison.
women shame us when we do
8 years old? That's a baby! What is wrong with humanity?
Everything
You mean what's wrong with men.
I know a 19 year old boy who was abused from 8 years old
Wow, this is an evil society that we are living in where kids can get harmed by anybody they trusted or don't even have a clue that they are about to be endangered by anybody they trusted. Sick
This is truly horrible 😢😢😢 sick people in this world
You need to tell your story in schools, to teach the kids about the grooming that take place after the abuse. I’m pretty sure there are kids that are abused even today. Please educate the children 😢🙏🙏🙏 Educate the teachers 😢
💯💯💯
Children are not safe in this modern world😢
This kind of stuff has always happened. We just now hear more about it. It's good thing to hear about so we can educate children.
HONESTLY NOBODY'S SAFE IN THIS MONDERN WORLD BUT YES CHILDREN ARE DEFINITELY THE MOST VULNERABLE 😔
True. But this happened in the 1980s. And you hear stories like this from the 50s and even earlier.
@@trineseDMVbeauty If you take today's population and scaled it relative to a population of any other time in human history, humans have, without a doubt, never been more safe!
The majority of the global population has access to food, water, education, methods of communicating with people outside of your immediate town or village, modes of transport that allow you to travel and explore, access to the internet which provides a wealth of knowledge that even a king/queen would never have considered possible.
There have always been bad actors, people who wish/deal harm onto others and there's no reason to suggest that will change, but do not make such loaded statements about something objectively untrue.
As individuals, we must each take reasonable precautions but to suggest we are less safe now than people just a couple hundred years ago is nothing more than delusion.
Modern? They used to do this back in the day, and no one even said it was wrong. They were selling children into prostitution... Modern?
I’m so sorry. That bastard son of a gun . This is what makes me so afraid to let my child be anywhere alone
Please stop calling it a relationship. This is abuse and I am so sorry you went through this. :( no child deserves to go through something like this.. 😔
Don't try to dictate the words victims of abuse choose to use, it is for them to make those choices.
Relationship definition "the way in which two or more people or things are connected, or the state of being connected"
It's a broad definition but you're viewing the use of the word in a very specific way.
You have to watch your kids like a hawk...AND STILL it wouldn't be enough because the one day you dont, something like this randomly happens. There was a case in south africa where a child was raped in the restroom of a full, kid friendly restaurant. Parents where right outside, there was a chance of anybody walking into the restroom and that still didnt stop the paedophile that did it.
This wasn't a "relationship". This was years of you being groomed and predated on. I'm so sorry! 🥺😭😭😭😭😭
Praise God you turned your horrific experience into helping others who suffered the same type of abuse! Sadly no one talks much about boys/ men being groomed and sexually abused, and it is far more prevalent than anyone can imagine! It’s been going on for decades! I can’t believe how many men I have met over the last 10 years that have opened up to me about their sex abuse as young children!!!!! It actually scared me at first when I realized that almost HALF of my make friends have had abuse like that!! Many by step dads, neighbors and even their own bio “fathers”! I love that people open up to me and trust sharing things with me they have never shared before…. But it breaks my heart with each and every story 😢
I'm so sorry you went through this..but I am happy that you're choosing to grow from this and you're absolutely right that men should be able to talk about being abused and not be ashamed about it so they can heal.
It's so important for men to tell their stories and show that men can also be victims. Very brave of you to tell your story.
It's much harder for men to open up about sexual assault. I'm sorry you had to go through this. Sending hugs and positive vibes your way.
Nathan you are truly brave for speaking up about your trauma you are a survivor i hope that you are healing from what happened to you
Very sad to hear from the man's own account of what happened to him at the swimming pool by an older pervert. He was singled out because he had been on his own, he would not have known this guy had bad intentions towards him and his life was going to change. He stood up and told his story so in it all he was the victor, only sad he was a victim of a crazy sadistic abuser.
I'm surprised that this was a total stranger. Most of these cases involve trusted adults, like a sports coach (like Jerry Sandusky.)
I am so sorry.😔. God bless you. I wish all the best for you.
It is very hard for men to talk about abuse because they don’t wanna look weak but coming forward about abuse the bravest thing any survivor can ever do.
Thank you for sharing your story. I hope this helps others!
Thank you for telling us your TRUE story ❤ It's evil on MANY DIFFERENT LEVELS 💯
I appreciate men being open about their sexuality abuse
Nathan is right there are so many people who refuse to do the work on themselves and turn their lives around
Refuse- is a funny word. Simplistic.
1:14 am eastern I am proud of your for telling your story. I hope that your healing journey continues. Thank you for giving back I always told my children growing up because of things that happened to me as a child/teenager that I loved them I would never be mad at them do not believe anyone that tells u that. I instilled in them that if they are not comfortable to let me know. I will always protect them and grandchildren as well.
I was very angry about an older man that had hung around us college kids. Looking back on it... super weird. He was in his forties and I wasn't even 21. I remember he rented an apartment near the college in the same complex as me and we thought of him as sort of this uncle while somehow ignoring warning signs (like... why did we laugh at him sleeping with a 17 year old?). One night I went to his place and had a drink with him and the next six hours were gone. I don't think anything happened, but I was so angry. My friends picked him over me because we were all kids and no one wanted to believe this guy was a bad guy, it was better that I got too drunk. Writing a letter about all the details and burning it finally gave me a lot of peace (I would have given it to him, but he died in a car accident).
He was a monster. I'm in my 50's, and people my age, and it their 40's hanging around college kids is creepy and inappropriate. So sorry that happened to you
@@rdred8693 Thank you! I'm forty now, but it took me a long time not to be mad at my friends. I've accepted that we were kids and didn't yet have the perspective to realize how weird it was. You can have friends outside your age group, but his behavior was obviously inappropriate and not at all like the "uncle" we... for some reason thought he was.
You’re a hero! I’m so glad you were able to talk about this as this is a a big part of being able to heal as well as helping others who have gone through the same trauma
I’m sorry about what had happened to you. Evil is real. And it could be anyone.
I'm so glad you are able to tell your story and begin to heal.
Thank you for sharing. Men need to hear this!! ❤❤. I am so sorry this happened. Nobody deserves this. You are helping so much by healing yourself! I will look for your book ❤
Don't just watch out for your little girls watch out for your boys too many wolves in sheep's clothing. Trust no one not even family, friends, coworkers, or neighbors.
Please talk to your kids never be afraid to tell everybody ‼️‼️‼️😢😢😢
Nathan, I’m so so thankful that you survived. So many children don’t. This man and the other men who abused you are vile. I can’t even find words to express my utter contempt for people like that. Thank you so much for being open. I’m sure you have helped many young men who have also been through this. I’m so glad that in your thirties you were able to tell your friend about this childhood trauma & begin healing. Sending love and my admiration to you. I’m ordering your book 🤍🤍🤍
Thank you for sharing your story. You survived. Sending you love & prayers from California. God bless you.🙏❤️💙
Thank you for being brave enough to share your experiences with the world. Just hearing and seeing you explain your ordeal may be just the thing that allows fellow survivors, such as myself,to begin the healing process and to accept that what transpired was not their/our fault and that they/we deserve to know what it feels like to love and accept ourselves in spite of what happened. And that we don't have to keep reliving the horror of it all.
It didn’t HAVE TO HAPPEN for you to help others 😢. It’s wonderful that you became whole and used your tragic experience to help the abused in a way that only a person who shares a pain can help others. The innate person that you are, you would’ve helped others anyway. By the photo, I could see that you were a gentle child. God have mercy on that abuser for his heinous act on an innocent child because if he doesn’t repent before he meets his Maker, as sure as he abused you, he’s going to pay in Eternity.
Thank you for sharing your story ❤ I’m glad you’re seeking help and spreading the word!
It’s so heartbreaking what children go through. I’m so sorry you had to endure this horrible experience. I wish you nothing but the best in life.
This was so deep! WOW…it’s all I can say…this man is absolutely AMAZING!!! I pray he can continue to spread his story to other young boys/men! It’s needed! If more men understood their emotions…us women wouldn’t feel like such PREY! ❤😢
Hello Sir! We love you and thank you for sharing your story. ❤❤
I were so touch about your story. God bless you always. I am so sad you went through that as a child.
Thank you for sharing 👍🏽
I wonder if you went to the police and asked about cases/pedophiles during that time, would his picture pop up. I'm sure he offended before and after that. Maybe someone told.
Absolutely a beautiful soul❤ so wise,strong,& genuine. Being human should be more normalized.Sad that society brainwashes us to not be ourselves.Im so proud of you. Abuse destroys..male or female. God Bless you!
First, you are amazingly brave!!! JESUS bless you, and continue to heal you, and restore your soul, my brother. 🙏🌹🕊
Second, these are demons (8:05-8:09). I have never heard of someone wanting the pain (the act) without a demon being behind it. Satan really was trying to destroy you. I’m so glad you are fighting back!!!!! JESUS IS WITH YOU!!!!! DON’T GIVE UP!!!
Third, that wasn’t a relationship, you were only 8 brother!!! Don’t speak that my brother but thank you for being so open and so honest!!! You are a gift to this world!!!! Keep sharing your story, beLoved! 🌹
JESUS LOVES YOU!!! 🌹🌹🌹
My husband, we're soon celebrating 30 years together, cries when he listens to music (he's a musician) that he finds beautiful, he sometimes cries over endings in feelgood movies, and a few few times he's cried because of grief. And those are the times when I love him the most. I can see that he feels embarrassed, he was born in -59, but I almost start to cry when he cries because of love that floods over.
This is the definition of grooming. The people who throw around that term should watch this.
This story is to sad, evil and disgusting for me to like.
I too had been groomed for amoral reasons which is why I sympathize with u so much😓
I’m glad things turned out great for you.
This is how easy it was for these monsters...don't let children out of your sight!!!
Power to you sir 🎉🎉
This needs to end.
💔😢
Nate you are so brave to tell your story and please don’t feel guilty about this situation an 8 year old child doesn’t “pick up “ a grown ass man he was a very good, manipulative predator 😢 you did nothing wrong 💔💔 the fact your body reacted is so normal the body still reacts to sexual stimulation even in fear and confusion the mind is aware but the body isn’t 😢
i am so sorry.
I’m soo sorry this happened to you ❤heartbreaking 😓
You can talk about child rape but can't say the words cigarettes and whiskey?
There's always that a$$hole in the crowd
I remember telling on everyone when I was a kid anyone who said or did anything wrong. Even the smallest injury if someone pushed me or hit me or made fun said something bad to me I told. I just knew what was inappropriate and wrong I just naturally knew. It's the feeling you have. I don't get this when children don't tell
😮😢
You clearly have done a lot of work on yourself & the world sure does need people that are aware. Take care - you are an eloquent speaker & I’m sorry you endured so much.
Still dont understand why you would go back to hia house on many occasions ?
Wow
Monsters vampirizing the innocent - NO!
BRAVE SO❤L
Alot of people don't know but sexual assault among children was an epidemic among children for a long time in Australia
❤❤❤❤❤❤
Im around his age. Nothing to do with being Catholic. I grew up secular, my family never discussed any of this. I was told there are perverts in the world (about which I had no understanding). Luckily, I escaped several pedophile attacks - but I remember many pedophiles coming on to boys in the neighborhood and certain boys falling into abusive situations. I didnt understand it was abuse, as a kid. I just thought they were all homosexuals. These abusers really damage people.
🙌🙌🙌🙌🙏🙏🙏🙏
I think "intriguing," is the wrong word
I am truly grateful for his strength and courage for exposing this 😇😇😇-Xclusyph Icon
It's not lgbtqwhatever kids need to be taught in schools 'to prevent suicide' its this type of thing! A competent school system should know this no...?
Huh? Lgbtqia kids have been bullied just for being lgbtqia, as evident as kids calling anything and everything they don't like gay. This has nothing to do with being an LGBT kid, he was assaulted, and he wasn't an LGBT kid. He also sought out Gay men to have sex with and assault them, so that's also odd.
How sad & twisted that he thought anal rape from a grown man was an acceptable part of love. His abuser deserves the worst form of punishment & never forgiveness! How many other boys did he psychologically & sexually obliterate & mar?!
This guy’s story doesn’t need to be made into a movie. A documentary maybe.
He definitely needs the healing power of Jesus Christ. I pray he finds it🙏🏼
I don't follow why you would love a man who is cruel and threatening. Maybe he disappeared because he was arrested for abusing another boy?
It’s not about You.
That sort of, not listening -is part of the many difficulties children face in disclosing
Sodom and Gomorrah. Jesus is returning
And it's getting worse!
Yes 🙏🏾👏🏾
I how a 8year old and this why he's not aloud to go anywhere buy is self.because he should have never been at the pool alone ❤
Sodom and Gomorrah was about being inhospitable to angels, and there are several instances of sexual assault in the bible, that people just brush over, especially the different gender assaults. Side note: Jesus wouldn't come back here...why? Hell they would probably kill him all over again, especially if he looked how he actually looked, and not Abercrombie and Fitch Jesus, as many like to depict...
Darling, you aged-out. He left you behind, so he could start over with a younger lad.
Darling? You're just as bad talking that way to someone whose been through this. What the hell possesses people?? Fn sicko
It’s a terrible thought, but that’s probably the case
Its not your fault
This guy needs to understand through therapy that he was groomed to enjoy it. He never wanted or needed it. Stop blaming yourself. You were innocent.
Im confused, why did u say your family didn't care for or love you?! Im a mother of 4 and my kids are involved in sports and my dad told me to watch my sons around coaches because alot of men molest girls and boys, i only thought men liked little girls so i thought my sons were safe, long story short we should just move forward, dont look back
Body lauguage tells a different story touching your nose?
Yes..something is off.
What are you suggesting? This is a traumatic experience to him
this one is different. also strange, stories got gaps. i think he jus gay
Damn! 😮
You’re not required to THINK- or speak.
Children need to Be Listened to.
You are awesome thank you for telling your story- you are not alone!!!🫶🏾