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Nessa Barrett ON How To Deal With Loneliness & Heal After A Breakup
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 12 ส.ค. 2024
- I am so happy to welcome TikTok star-turned-singer, Nessa Barrett, to the podcast. After being named as one of Billboard’s “21 Under 21” twice and People Magazine’s “Emerging Artist List” - Nessa has gone on to accumulate more than 1.4 billion global streams to date.
Nessa opens up about her current struggles with loneliness, mental health, and an eating disorder. We will hear her deep thoughts and meaningful words about navigating a difficult breakup, recovering from codependency, and finding self-love amidst self-criticism. We will uncover the transformative power of love, both for ourselves and others.
If you’re struggling with loneliness or need guidance on how to heal after a breakup watch this!
In this conversation with Nessa Barrett, we discuss:
00:00 Intro
00:16 Running Away From Home
02:35 Overcoming Fear & Taking Risks
05:25 How To Deal With Bullying
07:24 Healing Your Relationships With Family
09:42 Struggling With Loneliness
14:25 Struggling With An Eating Disorder
28:50 Navigating A Public Breakup
33:01 What Are The Eight Stages Of A Breakup?
34:20 The Hardest Stage Of A Breakup
36:28 Recovering From Codependency
38:09 Post-Breakup Lessons
40:24 Healing & Finding Love Again
43:54 How To Practice Self-Love
48:03 What Is A Burn Box?
51:41 Using Music To Be A Voice For The Voiceless
54:36 The Importance Of Being Honest & Vulnerable
58:40 Nessa On Final Five
Episode Resources:
Nessa Barrett | / nessabarrett
Nessa Barrett | / @nessabarrett
Nessa Barrett | / nessaabarrett
Nessa Barrett | / nessabarrett
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What is your post-breakup advice?
Make sure you are comfortable being alone before you look for anyone else to add to your mix again. A true appreciation for solitude and alone time is a powerful thing. Having a strong sense of self and self love makes it easier to not settle for things that don't align with your values. Thanks again, Jay, another wonderful conversation, wonderful guest and advice 🙏❤️
Set yourself a time to cry it, talk about, scream about….after that fix your face and be the boss you know that your are and they lost. 🫶🏼🫂
Spend time loving yourself and with loved ones. Go on adventures, delve into your hobbies and find new ones. Explore new experiences, give love to others and be kind to yourself. With time you will heal ❤
The first step is to acknowledge that the relationship has ended. It is difficult, but tell yourself as much as you need to. Give yourself some grace, do not blame yourself (you can accept responsibility if you were the cause of the breakup or did something that caused the relationship to crumble), and wish things had turned out differently. Move forward after appreciating the relationship. Moving forward by allowing yourself to love and be loved, and above all, by loving yourself.
Allow yourself time alone to assess what you want in a relationship and to consider what you will and will not compromise on.
Don’t go back to what made you leave in the 1st part.
"A voice for the voiceless" that is exactly how I would explain Nessa's music!
Oh yes thought i was the only one that think about that
Nessa is so insightful for her age, very articulate, and gifted with expression. I listened to this podcast on my morning walk, and I had to repeat certain parts.
Yes she is so amazing
This was a great interview. I didn't know much about nessa or her music but this showed a lot about her. She is such an intelligent young woman that grew up fast. It amazes me how in tuned with her emotions she is, and how fast her mind works. She is so young yet so connected with herself I've been binge watching episodes and this is one of my favorites
So glad you enjoyed the interview! Nessa is amazing.
nessa has shown a lot of growth since when she started doing social media this definitely made me an official nessa barrett fan I adore her, I wish nothing but blessings towards her she has gone through so much for just a 20 year old
For those feeling lonely, know that you are not alone.
🥺🫶🏼
How so?
Jesus❤
@@TonyStark-xz2nd I just wish I had everything to make him proud
@@louiskwizera The thing with God is that you don't need anything. You just need to run to him. His love is unconditional and nothing you do would make him see you as worthless. You are his masterpiece.
Nessa looks younger than her years but speaks decades wiser, i hope people listen to her and not understimate some very well spoken points on self awareness
Nessa checks every box for me as an artist. Her music is the words I think but cannot write on paper. The perspective and views on life she now has is incredible and makes me so proud. It's so cool to see me in such a cool artist. Makes me feel more comfortable and less alone with my BPD through her music. A blessed soul
She ran away as a survival mechanism. She was afraid she was going to die. Maybe not physically, but in every way that mattered to her.
And she made her own opportunities. So much respect for that
I enjoyed this interview so much. I am trying to recover from a 35-year marriage breakup, and it touched my soul! Who said young people can not teach you a thing or two!!! Thank you NESSA!!! GOD Bless!😢😊❤
So many beautiful lessons from every walk of life. So much love as you are navigating your own new path.
No but same! I’m 36 and I’m listening to this!! 🥲
Who initiated the break-up?
Thank you for having Nessa on the podcast, she’s so strong
Agreed!
Oh yes she is love hearing from her
my love & respect for nessa grows more & more each time i hear her speak. she’s such a light to our generation & world. i’ve seen her twice in concert (yay burn box) & have met her once, which have impacted me forever. truly a gem to our society & i wish nothing but the best for her.
thank you for having her on
Oh yes likewise me
omgg this felt so open, honest and real. this interview felt like a warm hug i will always love nessa’s honesty and vulnerability it makes me feel so seen and connected and jay’s insight on the things she says it just felt like such a genuine conversation 🤍
the fact that she’s so open about her struggles especially with anorexia it’s so hard for someone to come out and say they have that and that’s why they’ve lost weight not like many people in LA who just wanna be skinny and consider it the standard
Oh yes she is such a great
I’m 20 and I also struggle with my body and she explained exactly how I feel. Even talking about the words you use, my mom told me a few days ago I look healthier and more fuller than before and since then I’ve just been spiraling thinking about those words “healthy” and “fuller” making me change my ‘healthy’ trajectory. I’ve been staring at my food labels and I felt crazy. I’m just glad I’m not going through these things alone, and there must be so many other people going through this. I’m getting the help I need btw so it’s ok, I really am trying.
Clarity is like a breath of fresh air. This is why conversation, even if it feels confusing, can be healing. Thank you for the clarity.
Love her vulnerability and her honesty ❤ Thank you
What a beautiful interview. Nessa is so insightful for her age. Me at 21 could never sit down and have this conversation with myself let alone a interview about trauma and heartbreak. She is growing into herself and it’s beautiful to see.
best podcast i ever watched, Nessa is just so honest and real.
she really helps so many people including myself, by talking so open about her struggles with an eating disorder.
it really makes me feel so understood
Before this interview with Nessa, I didn’t know of her. After listening to Nessa speak, I’ve fallen in love with her heart! What a wise and mature queen 🩷 sending love. Thanks for the episode x
she grown so much. i remembered saw her first ever interview. forever proud of her
I admire people who can talk about the pain they felt and went through, I’ve been through so much bullying in my life and just got off an abusive relationship, i am not able to share my feelings it breaks me every time i try. People who are able to share their pain, it’s an inspiration to help others to do the same. Thank you 🙏
i love this sm. i’ve been dealing w anorexia since i was 11 years old ,, it’s nice to have someone speaking up a. the issue without denying it
Blown away by her self awareness and all that she has been through ❤
I adore this pod, i come back to it so often. As someone who suffers with an eating disorder who doesnt necessarily ‘look’ like an ed sufferer - i really appreciate nessa talking about how eating disorders dont have a look. You both expressed such empathy and genuine emotion and understanding. I truly loved this episode. Youre both so important and the way and fact that youre even talking about topics like this with such an open mind is so refreshing. 💌
She may be struggling, as most are, yet her honesty and self-awareness make her an amazing role model. Wishing her full recovery (which i know is a journey) so she can inspire many for decades to come.
Nessa is so mature ; loved this interview. I am impressed with her outlook in life considering all she has been through 😍😍🥰
I had never heard of her or her music; I have now become a fan.
Thank you for having Nessa and thank you Nessa hearing you talk about your eating disorder helps me so much, to know that someone know exactly what I'm going through
This one made me cry I have a very deep connection to nessas music hearing her talk so openly and the way she is able to process understand and express and turn her struggles into beautiful art is so amazing and inspiring seeing her growth made me so emotional and proud she is such an Angel 😇
Love getting to know people intimately like this before actually getting to know what they do. Gives me a very special view point of their personality. Nessa is a beautiful soul. ❤
I am happy that she is able to ask and get the help at such a young age and doesn’t need to wait a life to learn all these. I hope she breaks the stigma around going to therapy, looking for healing the inner child. ❤
Awww 🥰 Amazing interview
Thank you!!
So much wisdom for such a young woman, love to see it, really loving this episode! Thanks to you both 🙏❤️
wait i remember u
omg i love your videos😆
I love this interview as well! No matter what challenges we face, we need to have the courage to overcome all these.
I absolutely love her music. I discovered Nessa through my daughter who is a huge fan of hers and became a huge fan myself.
Her music resonates with me. She really is awesome. Can't wait to see what comes next.
0:29: 🏃 At 17, the speaker ran away from home to pursue her dreams of being a singer and living in California.
6:43: 💔 The artist discusses their challenging upbringing, healing through therapy, and the loneliness they feel in the music industry.
15:04: 💔 The speaker discusses how her music is focused on her struggles and how she chooses to deal with them rather than being unhappy with her life.
22:31: ❤ The speaker discusses the challenges of performing on stage while dealing with an eating disorder and shares insights on how to support someone going through it.
28:28: 💔 Public breakups are more difficult due to the scrutiny and constant reminders, with the desperate stage being the most challenging.
36:09: 💔 The longest stage after a breakup is the recovery from codependency, where one has to learn to love themselves and enjoy their own company.
42:27: ❤ Self-love is crucial for giving love to others and finding happiness in oneself.
54:45: ✨ Being open, honest, and vulnerable is key to creating a stable support system in the music industry.
56:05: 💡 The artist values authenticity and being true to oneself in creating music, rather than chasing commercial success.
1:03:06: ❤ Nessa suggests that a law should be implemented where people are encouraged to give love and hugs to those in need, in order to combat hatred and separation in the world.
Recap by Tammy AI
She has grown so much and I’m so proud of her. I hope she does get treatment soon for her E.D, she deserve calmness and peace
thank u so much for having ness on the podcast, she has helped so many of us and she is so strong.
She is such a beautiful person in and out. I am so grateful to have her in my life whether she’s physically in it or not. She has such a strong voice and she’s uses it for good and I don’t see many influencers or artists advocating for it this much. Really enjoyed this podcast♥️♥️
This interview by far is one of the best I have ever seen on jays show. She is so intelligent and mature. I do not know who she is however I will be following her and her music from this point on. Prayers going up for you young lady. Best interview. Your parents must be very proud of you.
Nessa is so incredible. She has such incredible advice and is so real. I love her so much
nessa barret shows that struggles are real in life & with strong willpower we can get through this!
I love this podcast the talker is very respectful let’s the other person speaks and listens and is always super kind with his questions and answers ❤
I did not know who this was, but what a great interview bringing many topics that are so important. Jay Shetty did an excellent job interviewing her.
Thank you very much!
Jay Shetty just brings so many different amazing people ❤
That's my goal!
I went to college with her Dad who was/is a very ambitious rapper. It’s surprising to hear that her parents didn’t support her desire to want something more outside of the traditional path of college & a 9-5. However, many times when our loved ones don’t “support” our dreams, it’s a trauma response to their own fears. Their own way of protecting us. She has grown into such a beautiful young woman. I’m excited to see all that she’ll accomplish with music and more. 🙌🏾
nessa is such a beautiful person inside and out, whenever I listen to her talk I will cry she has such a pure soul
I must say, this is my first time watching a Jay Shetty video and perhaps I’ve just been missing out on a great community- but this interview in particular was exceptional and so full of presence and awareness. Hearing Nessa articulate such conscious ideas, pains and struggles is so refreshing. I do believe you two were right in saying we forget media is still real life and we are all conscious and on our own journeys. Something I live by and have come to realize is that our own perspectives are singular and we are all at different levels of awareness. Knowing that this isn’t just another “social media” person but a conscious and aware individual, even with her struggles, who is working on evolving and growing and bringing her career along with it. It just feels like her career, influence and her mindset is in the right place. I can only have faith that this world is growing and we are all evolving to be as self aware, empathetic and compassionate as these two people in this video.
if you have the opportunity to get your ex back will you get your ex back be honest
It's amazing how our perspectives can shape our judgements. I love when I'm proven wrong.
This was actually my favorite podcast episode ever! I love Nessa & everything that you talked about during the interview was so instructive and accurate. Thank you for creating this safe place for her to be able to express herself honestly and help others who are struggling too.
this interview is so amazing. I'll def watch it twice a week from now ahah so comforting i'll forever love nessa
I feel such a deep connection with Nessa. We have so much income, and i appreciate her being so vulnerable
the way that she became more mature and well spoken is beautiful. she’s so down earthy and sincere about her mental health. keep going Nessa 🫶🏻
Much needed.... thank you so much jay for the podcast ❤
I'm glad you enjoyed it!
NESSA IS A FREAKING QUEEN!!! i sturgeon with about that same thing as her and he explained things so well
41:34 jays reaction to that comment was everything.
EVERYONE NEEDS SOMEBODY IN THERE LIFE THEY CAN LOVE PERIOD ITS THE VERY REASON WE ARE HERE ON THE PLANET AFTER ALL.
Such a down to earth gorgeous authentic human being. I love her and always will. She’s so mature and has a great outlook on life ❤
if you have the opportunity to get your ex back will you get your ex back be honest
Nessa is so genuine and honest. She articulates so well. I did not know her before this interview, but I am now a fan. Let go and let God…always stands
i’m currently going through the worst heartbreak i’ve ever experienced and i feel so alone even though i know i’m not and i would do anything just to talk to nessa about it because i feel like she could rly connect with my situation
You will get through this. Keep talking to anyone, it will make all the difference.
I promise it will all be ok. Spend this time to date yourself, go on solo dates, talk to yourself. Invest every single second in yourself bc in the future you will look back and be so thankful for going through heartbreak as it unleashed a version of you that you didn’t know existed. This experience will shape you, build you and unlock a new path in your journey. Self love is needed and necessary and once you learn to love you, you won’t ever seek relationships, they will seek you.
, very good advice
What an amazing chat this was. Nessar - you deserve all the happiness in the world for you are a great human being. I wish you much love
Jay - perfect as usual
she is doing amazing, i wish i was this self awareness. Thank you for sharing your story.
Nessa, you are an amazing human being! I listen to full podcast and enjoyed every second of it. Thank you both for sharing your wisdom and spreading love.
Oh she's so amazing
I love this girl with my whole heart and I’m so proud of everything she’s gotten through ❤. Thank you for letting her open up so much and being so graceful and understanding ❤️
This truly is a powerful interview. Hope the best for everyone in this world. You are not alone ♥️
this is definitely the best Interview nessa has ever done. she is so raw and honest and really emotional but in a really good way. I already really liked this podcast and last week's episode with Tom holland was already really good but this one is my new favorite.
nessa gets it, the way she say and worded her problems touchs my soul every time
Such a pure heart! She is so young yet still extremely self aware. ❤❤❤
Generate the pain you are feeling into becoming a better version of who you want to have.
Why haven't i come across your channel sooner? Must be because im going through a breakup and suffering from the ultimate betrayal. I listen to your videos everyday at work my friend. Thank you!
I love this girl so much and have so much respect for her.
i am so proud of her, i hope she knows how loved she really is
Nessa is so insightful and wise with her words. I hope to articulate my thoughts gracefully and as fast as she does someday. Everything she says blew my mind with her introspection. Love this interview! New subscriber!
Thank you Jay and thank you to your team for having nessa and all of these amazing creators. I’m almost in tears thank you for all you do and all of this , I’m feeling so greatful❤️❤️❤️
This young girl speaks Very well an has a very intellectual way of communicating an getting her point across
Mostly i noticed how well she maintains her composure while speaking One would think from her outward appearance no one would wver know her struggles an the thing for me rhat stands out is the strength she gathered to go forward in her expedition to go forward with her pursuing her plan i feel also whe drew strength frm having her dream/dreams com about
Fantastic interview i was so intrigued by her words being processed an making it all make sense
Shes definitely in my prayers for recovery of mental health/illness🙏🙏💕🤗 God's protection over her Life😂
I wish nothing but the best for her. She is gonna be a SUPER STAR!!
I started crying right from the start because I can relate to Nessa in so many ways. I've known her since the first song, and she's become my fav singer over that time, and a person whose music I'm always waiting for. This interview just made me realise that I love Nessa even more than I thought. Hearing her talking about these things and being so mature makes me admire her so much. Thank you, Nessa, I'm so glad that you and your music came to my life. I will support you always
Haven’t been this excited about a guest for a long time! Nessa is a real life angel. She’s so beautiful internally as well as on the outside!
I struggle with several disorders and having Nessa talk about them makes me feel so so less alone
Thank you for having this kinda conversations,it feels so personal and relatable,watching her speak wisely and just smile and be happy throughout gives me a sense of hope !!People go through tough times but it makes them much more kinder ,wiser and mature towards situations and human beings.The way she said be vocal and honest ,i personally believe its the best help you could ask for !!
Take care❤
if you have the opportunity to get your ex back will you get your ex back be honest
I give this young lady all the credit in the world. She is beyond wise for her age and her honesty is so RAW. I pray she will get blessed with all the healing she deserves.
This is such a beautiful episode,very relatable in the present day world!
My favourite interview so far❤❤
I’ve heard of that after show loneliness before. It’s such a high to perform and do what you love in front of a bunch of people so excited to see you and then going back to the hotel room all alone. It’s hard to adjust to the energy shift
Never heard of Nessa until this. Really great to watch
Love her energy and heart frfr 🪫💯💎
She is so wonderful and real. Great podcast
Oh yes she is
i could listen to her for hours she’s precious
Another purposeful conversation on the podcast this 2023 summer all about family relationships & self love❤🎉Keep up the great work Jay 😊
Having gone through a painful breakup less than a year ago, the way she articulated how I felt about the breakup was amazing.
This young woman is amazing. Loved the interview.
Me planning to move out and runaway at 18 in a few months to pursue my own dreams I love her and her content her music is amazing so this definately.
If ur 18 that is not running away
@@edgarallanhoe8838 yes it is just because I won't be a minor when I do it doesn't mean I'm not and Edgar mind your business please.
Two beautiful humans right there ❤ thank you both! Really touched me in both topics you spoke of today
Nessa said very correct words.
In fact, I also understand what it’s like to be dependent on another person (((Unfortunately, you realize that you’re “caught” when it’s too late, and you’ve become firmly attached to the person. And when this "someone important" leaves, the whole world seems to go away along with that person too.
But I learned one lesson for myself - in any relationship you need to carefully preserve your personal part - your friends, your work (career), your hobbies, family - what you have. Then there won't be such hellish devastation when someone leaves. Because one day I was completely immersed in the world of another person, I lived by his interests, his work, his entire society became mine, because I didn’t have parents. And when he left, my world collapsed. All these people also left with him. This is a terrible feeling...
Therefore, again and again I tell people who are in a similar situation - even if you are completely dissolved in another person, try with all your might to find a way to yourself again, to unstick yourself and your personality from this person even during this relationship. It can be so difficult to force yourself to do this, it seems to you that if this person is not there, the whole world will collapse. That’s why we, codependents, are so eager to save even the worst relationships when they have long since exhausted themselves. But the truth is that your own world collapsed already in that moment when you put another person first in your life again.
Take care of yourself and your personal boundaries.
I sincerely wish every person who also became dependent on another person - enormous strength, favorable situations that will allow you to see that you are the greatest value and the main character in your life. Partners come and go, children grow up and also leave, someone dies - that's life. But being a little "selfish" is actually the healthiest thing you can give to your psyche, although we are often taught the opposite, and we become accustomed to the idea that other people and their feelings are more important than our own. But in reality there is no difference - you are as IMPORTANT a person as everyone else in this world.
I hope that one day everyone will meet their true love, with whom they will be happy, with someone with whom it will be very easy and pleasant to build a relationship, without fear that it may suddenly end and there will be this terrible feeling of loss.
Hugs to everyone and sending love to all of you ❤
you are such a good interviewer. thank you for letting her speak. and not cutting in! great interview
Great interview! I feel like we need a book on the stages of a break-up/ heartbreak, would help so many people. Such a mature lady for her age ❤❤❤
Nessa, you did so well articulating your struggles in such an adult way. Proud of you!
I can imagine someone as unbelievably beautiful as Nessa could get overlooked as someone who needs extra care and love. Sure wish she had more support when she was younger. Big hugs to you, Nessa. ❤❤ I sure hope you can find a way to utilize social media for your career and leave the rest of the judgmental bc behind! Oh and random unsolicited advice from random women like me. 😊
i like her. she's so real to me. i relate to her in so many ways...
I love nessa so much. This was an interview I didn’t know I wanted until I clicked on the video.
take a shot everytime she says “ya know”
we’d be dead 😂😂😂😂😂
If anyone believes humanity is lost,only needs to listen to you amazing human beings!! :) we are in a ride as humans for sure, and i believe we need more of such honesty and transparency - and we will have it, because you two are such great examples of authenticity (and insane talent)
I love this interview. I honestly don’t know who this person is. However, I found this exchange very comforting and relatable. It is also incredibly encouraging to see the level of vulnerability being expressed here. Absolutely beautiful. Thank you.
I would like to hear you talk more about grief. I’m very curious. You’ve done a book on love. And love plays such an immense role in grief. I wonder what could be gained by learning more about how people move through grief.
Day is made, another Nessa interview! :)
She’s so pretty!!