This is a topic I knew nothing about. Absolutely nothing. I know a little more now. And that’s a good thing. Hope you get more insight. I won’t say: enjoy because this is harrowing nevertheless so important. I sincerely hope all who need it, get the help and support they deserve. Reach out if you need help. Please. And if you hear someone crying for help, go for it. Help.
You are one of the very rare channels who seems to give a damn about people. Everything you do here is to help others. It’s no wonder at all why your channel is so successful! We all love and appreciate you guys so much! Thank you for todays upload. Knowledge and understanding makes all the difference in the world!
@@BucketHeadianHagg i honestly dont know. But to send her to die in prison doesnt seem quite right ether. I think the US justice system needs to update the insanity plea as whole. It isnt working, people try to take advantage of it all the time, and then when its actually needed, no one is willing to actually go through with it and accept that there are rare occations where it actually does apply. Of course she needs to serve time as her punishment, but the fact that the judge admitted that she did go through psychosis, but he didnt consider that in his sentence... Theres something wrong here. I dont have a answer for you..
@@lindaschultz7900 yes I'm absolutely blessed. He also grew up with two olde sisters and understood enough about mental illness without being a professional
@@NelidaDollPlease hold onto that hope. My mother was diagnosed with BPD and schizoaffective disorder. I didn't have my "real" mom for over 15 years, and one day she got better. She gradually came around and finally was herself again and balanced out. I remember feeling so hopeless, helpless, and desperate. Just hold on tight to whatever faith you have. 🤍✨
We are not designed to raise children alone without help. We are not designed to go months or years without sleep and provide 24/7 care. We are meant to raise children in a village because it is a mammoth task. Something we all need to ask ourselves. When tragedy happens, everyone says “Oh if only they had called me and said they were struggling. I would have helped”. But would you? I struggled after the birth of my two children. I asked for help. From friends, family and the local baby health nurse. If I’d said I was going to harm my kids, maybe someone would have helped. But I didn’t. I told people I was exhausted and hungry and could they look after the baby for a few hours. But time after time I was told people were busy, or tired or had other commitments. I was told I’d be ok. Just sleep when the baby sleeps. Don’t worry about cleaning. But when does the cleaning get done? When does food get cooked? Don’t wait for a tragedy to help parents in need. We could prevent these things happening if we normalise EVERY mother, every parent, needing help to raise their children.
My wife in tears one night came to me and begged me not to hate her. She then with self hatred told me about the thoughts she was having. We then took steps to keep our child safe while we got her talk therapy that led to chemical therapy. She is now years out and looks back at that as a real close call. Thankfully she was strong enough to tell me. No shame and it all worked out ok. Happy healthy mom and child.
That's the way it should be, she did everything right to ensure the safety of her flesh and blood. She had absolutely no shame coming to you. because she was putting your child's safety above anytype of embarrassment, or how she would look to you or anyone else. She's actually a very courageous woman and such a strong mother, her story is so inspiring. Her testimony could help so many women, I hope she shares it more with mother's, that are having those thoughts and feelings.
@MrBobbo18 :- AND you are obviously a loving supportive husband, who your wife knew would listen to her and help her. Not many women have husbands like you, and like mine is, also. Be proud, because you're both great partners to each other, and parents to your children
I mean I'm a woman and I usually have no problem being biased against men but you know if this was a dad even a single dad and they killed any of their kids they would be called a psychopath or a narc and wouldn't get the understanding these moms get and get labeled psychotic
@@leahflower9924because it isn’t natural for women to behave in that way because it is usually a mental health issue. Men are usually not the ones left alone with babies and lacking sleep. You riding hard for them but you will get burnt one day too honey❤
This poor woman was taking care of 3 babies 24/7 day and night. One baby would go to sleep and the other 2 would start to cry. All day and night. And their living space was a garage??? Imagine being stuck inside that cramped space with 3 babies, doing it all on her own.
It’s heartbreaking, but I’m sure she played a part in making a conscious choice to have the children. She knew the dynamics of the household and her husband’s personality- the husband she chose to marry and have children with.
Also apparently doing online school courses. I would be exhausted. I'm also assuming that the 2 older kids would be also at teething stage that was the hardest for me. Plus a newborn.
I remember waking up to my wife crying standing over me and she couldn't get words out so I ran to the crib and my baby girl was crying so I picked her up and sat down and my wife said she doesn't know how people do this because she hadn't slept in a week. I calmed her down and called out of work and I gave her a 5mg edible and my wife slept for 12 hours. I was alone with the baby for the first time just me nobody to help just me like all moms do daily. That one day left me exhausted. When mom woke up I told her to go get us food we ate and went to a park and I told her I was sorry for not noticing how hard being mom was and I told her we can take turns every day staying up with the baby so nobody is so tired they get burned out and my wife cried and agreed. The one day I was alone I was quickly hit with the fact that being a mom is a hard task. I literally did anything I could to make it easier for my wife I would cook clean after work and just let her relax and do things she did before we were parents. I was so worried about my wife's mental well being. I still over here my wife saying what I do as a dad and her friends angrily say they never get the help I give and the truth is I was terrified that my wife might break from exhaustion and the real grind of just being a mom. I made sure that my 2 girls were ok (mom and baby). My wife is really a great mom. That night she woke me up crying always pops in my head I feel that was a moment where had I not stepped up and did my part my wife may have suffered something terrible. I will give my life for my girls so I will always do what I can to keep us a happy family. It's ok to speak about this stuff. To the men who see this, working doesn't mean you are done for the day. Get up get coffee and help your wife! Just let her sleep and eat a whole meal without stopping. You may be able to stop something like this. I love being a dad and I will do anything my wife asks to make being a mom easier on her.
Back in 1991 my mother had me and when I was 3 months old she was pregnant with my brother, she had a horrible second pregnancy and birth. Back then my dad wasn’t conscious of how depressed she was, but he knew there was something wrong. He asked my mothers younger sister to come and help my mom during the day cook/clean and watch the babies so my mom could rest. When he would get home he would out us to sleep and let my mom rest. They both agreed to not have any more babies and he took her on afternoon walks without us so she can focus on herself. 30 years later my mom says “that man saved my life, we had no idea I had postpartum depression, but he took care of me” that proves to me that when a man loves you and cares he will find a way!
I realized as young as 18 I couldn't handle a life stuck at home w a screaming baby. Made sure I never got pg. 72 now and no regrets. Of you can't handle a baby then DONT HAVE ONE.
My father treated my mom terribly when she stayed home with us. He expected her to handle all of the cooking, cleaning, and childcare, and would scream at her all night if she did the slightest thing to set him off. I am forever grateful that she made it through and kept us safe.
I thought I was a tough woman until I had a child. The sleep deprivation, trying to heal my own childhood wounds while wanting to keep my son safe in this dark world. At times, I thought I would crumble into pieces. I bathed only when I had to. People have no idea how fragile the psyche is. RIP to those babies, help Mommies all over the world. 🙏🏾
I'm 32 years old and I choose to be child free because I know damn well I won't be able to handle being a mother. I already deal with severe mental disorders so I can't even imagine raising children. May those babies rest in peace ❤
I am the daughter of one of these women, my father is a stranger to me, what hurts me is that she never left him, after all he is a good man, he has always provided for material things, due to his age and mentality he believes this is the task of a father and husband
This is just absolutely heartbreaking. Carol was exhausted, malnourished, overworked and suffering! I wish someone had recognized her pain and struggle. This didn't have to happen.
@@teinetoa0416 very true - her friends/neighbors/mom said she looked so tired and wasn’t being herself - why didn’t they help her but cried after saying, oh, if only she had asked for help.
“I knew she was sick; I knew there was something wrong with her…” Yeah- it’s called having 3 babies in 3 years. Anyone who has not done it, has no idea how hard it is.
@aquarius2821 you could say the same in poor countries. However, they still continue to breed like rabbits, and then adverts come up asking can we donate. As the children are malnourished or something else, heartbreaking.. why not donate protection..ie condoms etc.
In African cultures we don't see postpartum often because women aren't left alone after childbirth. They move back in with their parents or have a female relative who most often has had children before.
That's a beautiful thing. I didn't have much support after my babies were born I had 4. But mine were many many years apart and that helped me not feel overloaded. Not everyone is so lucky. America babies being born is seen as no big deal and just get back to life ASAP.
Oh and I did breastfeed all of mine but my 1st one I didn't know how if not for formula he would have starved. I was thankful for formula then, but after him I never allowed a bottle in my home again. I didn't want to rely on it I wanted to figure it out and did. Tell me more about your culture. What part of Africa are you in? Back as a kid I had a pen pal Kojo Tanner no idea can't really remember where he was what part we wrote one another for 2 years and then I lost touch with him. Always wondered what happened to him. Was so neat to hear from him and learn about Africa.
The levels of misogyny and ignorance are overwhelming in this case. Absolutely tragic. I hope there are appeals. Many blessings of compassion and understanding.
@@globalwarmhugs7741 and? People who work are still husbands/wives/parents. You don’t understand how a partnership works if you don’t understand this. Going to work does not mean you don’t have a responsibility to be there emotionally for your family.
Geez of course he now fully blames himself, that’s part of moaning. He is not to blame! Even if he was to come home and help when left alone the tragedy would still have happened. The problem is the postpartum psychosis not him. The solution is to separate the mother from child. The psychosis is not triggered by the partner not being involved it’s just side effects of pregnancy and birth. Pregnancy sucks and the final result is a sucky birth too
Anyone notice when the husband was describing the dynamics of the home and how much Carol had to do at home it's like it finally hit him.......just how difficult it must have been for her doing 95% (most likely loo%) of the home care and child care by herself. He had to take his hat off, scratch his heat and look around with "ohh damn" look! He didn't help her at all!
And it’s very important to realise it does not manifest the same way in every individual, but yes it is frightening, even terrifying to the mother who is a loving, giving mother . It doesn’t manifest like depression we all experience and it’s completely different!
Yup and 3 kids in 2.5 years was just too intense. I had my first two kids 22 months apart which was tough but i knew I wanted a third...however i knew also I had to give myself a few years break before the third. It was all so much for that woman.
This is part of Spanish culture. He is from a different world than Carol was. Load mom up with kids n leave to work five hours a day provide bare minimum n blame wife for the rest. Men don’t do housework, cooking or rear children in any Spanish home. They are stuck in the 50’s. U notice how close in age the babies were. “Dad” spoke as if Carol was a friend or an acquaintance not a wife
I am 37 weeks pregnant and I have had several conversations with my husband about the importance of mental health after I give birth and that I give him permission to send me somewhere if there are any concerns. I would rather be away for a few days, weeks, or months to get better than have all of our lives ruined because I’ve harmed myself or the baby. I made him promise me to take it seriously.
I can’t stop thinking how all of this could have been avoided if he would have hugged her and said “I got this honey, go relax and I’ll look after them now”
I agree, but most Mexican men think the house work, taking care of children, cooking, & sex is the woman's job. They come home, drink, sit on their rears & do nothing else.
It might have helped, but this is primarily on Carol. He, like most busy husbands, could not have imagined their wife would feverishly stab all three baby girls to death before he returned home…or grandma called back/stop by. 😢
@@leannemo7382it’s people with your mindset that are the problem. He could tell something was wrong, you can wish you’d have helped more all you want but the reality is women need more help! I have one baby and it’s tough with her so I couldn’t imagine having two more all that young man. Men need to step up, period!
Yes, this dad and dads everywhere need to step up. Unfortunately post-partum psychosis isn't necessarily 'fixed' with just support. Sleep deprivation can worsen things and trigger psychotic episodes but true psychosis is much more complicated. This does not excuse dads from not stepping in, but it highlights the importance of education about post-partum psychosis and the need to look for warning signs and act quickly by getting professionals involved when symptoms are present.
I was hospitalised with postpartum psychosis after the birth of my 3rd child. I had very intrusive thoughts of hanging my children by ropes off the side of a light house, decapitating them with shopping trolleys. I started seeing shadows or beings on the walls of my home, I often fantasized about killing myself. I thank the Lord my family noticed something was wrong and had me hospitalised.. every day I am sooo thankful to be here, healthy, and with all three of my amazing little humans
@@deepthoughtswithjessica absolutely. I wish postpartum psychosis was spoken about more. I'm sure after the birth of my second child I had undiagnosed postpartum depression, but I kept that to myself as I struggled with infertility for 8 years after the birth of my first daughter. I didn't want to seem ungrateful for the blessing I was given so I never spoke on it. With my third daughters birth it was considered a category one emergency cesarean, I was put to sleep, started vomiting and it went back into my lungs, they had trouble intubating me, baby was born unalive and brought back. When I woke up I heard the nurse in recovery speaking to another about how they would have to tell my family what happened, and I assumed my baby had died. Despite that, I didn't bond with her instantly, I looked at her and felt nothing. I cared for her basic needs but I didn't play with her, hug her, kiss her. I felt so disassociated from her and from my life. It was like watching a movie play out before me but my mind saw everything from a distance, like none of it was real. Then I started having the nightmares, the intrusive thoughts, seeing images. I thought at that moment I was being spiritually attacked. If hear tapping on the walls, I thought my girls were evil. All of them but one. I'm so thankful everyday that I was able to be helped because many woman aren't and they and their families and their little ones pay the ultimate price. Its such an incredibly dangerous Illness, it needs to be spoken of more.
Check out Jerry Marzinsky, Engineering Mental Sanity. What he found as a pyschiatrist in some of the most challenging places in the country, changes your views on sanity forever. No, it's not a "chemical imbalance" because there is no "balance" that they know of. It has a much deeper cause.
I am so sorry you went through that. I experienced postpartum depression and thank God my son's father did 90% of the work because I felt so detached and like I was a bad mother for feeling like that. He was the one who got up to take care of our son all night long. I can't imagine how bad it could have gotten since I was too ashamed to ask for help if he didn't take over
And we need to be talking about how young mothers and fathers treat sex like a game! Because with sex comes a baby! Young or not, married or not. If you’re being intimate you are likely to get pregnant, that’s nature. Babies don’t just appear in the world.
@@JESUSLOVESYOU219 blame sexual revolution for that, because America has rejected the nuclear family related to conservatism in exchange for debauchery of hedonism
I feel nothing but deep sympathy and empathy with women who are in this horrible situation. The voice mails to mum were absolutely heartbreaking. You can hear a woman who is in deep distress, who is in absolute distress. She needed help, and she didnt get it in time to save her beautiful babies, but even after that tragedy happened, she still needed help, not punishment. She was in an emergency situation and she was not heard.
I don't know if I could recover from hearing my daughter call me for help like that and I didn't get the messages until it was too late 😭😭😭 I'd die right where I stood
@@lindadobberstein2035 Many times, we are extra quick to judge a situation we are not in, even if it is/was a similar one. In her situation, it could have been where the person she could always rely on for immediate emotional aid is her mum.
@@williamparker7025 Just stop!!You REALLY need to educate yourself man, stop making yourself look like a fool!!! Here you go: Depression is characterised by a sad, hopeless mood, lack of energy, loss of interest in activities, and other symptoms. Psychosis causes hallucinations, delusions, and disordered thinking and speaking.
This is what happens when you hide at work to avoid the shared responsibility of helping with your own children’s rearing, and thinking that because you pay all the bills and work 40+ hours a week excludes you from all responsibility regarding your kids. Too many fathers couldn’t even tell you their children’s birthdays, allergies, pediatricians name, shoe/diaper size… I feel so deeply for any women going through it alone , especially the ones who don’t have to because they basically have a glorified roommate instead of a unreliable husband/partner aka the married single mothers 💯
I couldn’t agree more. And it’s hard enough to be basically a single mother of 1 baby living with a “roommate” but she had 3 babies 13-14 months apart. I wish they would swap places for a month. Maybe then he would realise that he works 8 hours a day and she works non stop
I had postpartum after my daughter was born. It’s truly awful. Your body is trying to recover from the hormones and the overwhelming pain of giving birth. I called my doctors office to ask for help. The doctor wasn’t concerned about what was happening, but thankfully the nurse stepped in and got me on medication right away.
OMG her husband INFURIATES me. So while she was having a meltdown (at 53:05) he decided to work on his car outside?!? And then left?!? I have a feeling that he did not even call her mom. Also even if he did, what good would that do? That's just him putting the responsibility onto yet another woman instead of putting on his big boy pants and helping his wife with HIS children.
She quite obviously could not cope with the three little ones and her husband should have got immediate help. To not get up at night and help with crying children, is a very old fashioned way of thinking. Yes, he had to work, but she was working caring for them and studying! Raising children is a two way commitment!
I have schizophrenia and suffered seven years of psychosis. It was hellishly bad and I acted in ways I never would have dreamt of prior to psychosis. People who have never been through it have no idea how horrendous it can be. Compassion is needed.
Our adult son has been in psychosis for several years now. I have a few uncles that have schizophrenia and bipolar runs in family as well. Our son started self medicated in his teens which lead to worsen mental health. Hearing voices, laughing for no reason, etc. Trying different medications but it’s such a cycle. How did you get well if you don’t mind sharing?
@@KYhomes4u I'm sorry your family has to deal with mental illness. It runs in my family too. I was on a med that didn't work for a long time, I was forced onto it and didn't think I was sick. I finally got a med change to Invega and that works very well. Hoping I can stay on it as it raises my prolactin. Everyone is different, I hope he finds the right med for him. It's tough, I wish you all luck 🤞
Every person in her life that said “she was acting weird.” “She was saying she was so tired” “her husband didn’t help around the house” should be ashamed of themselves!! WHY did they not help her??? Why not go to her house and watch the kids and tell her to GO SLEEP?? And that Prosecutor needs to be FIRED for saying she has no sympathy for people who kill their kids. She talks like she doesn’t believe in mental illness and it’s heartbreaking knowing how Carol kept BEGGING for help and nobody who states they love her didn’t help!!! And to hear she is confused during a trial and is having an emotional breakdown in court while the judge ignores her mental state?? That is telling of how she has gotten NO mental help while in prison
I hear you, truly! However, unfortunately, part of this horrible disease- the mum often CAN'T sleep meaning even if she DID get GIVEN chances to sleep, they just can't. And sleep deprivation is literally used as a TORTURE tactic. Now that says alot!! Sad, tragic, no matter how you look at it . . .
A mae precisa ter mais ajuda da familja governo etc. Eu tive doa meus pais. E coloquei em creche desde os 9 meses. Mesmo assim tive uma crise de extress no segundo filho. Nao é facile cada vez te cobram.mais
Right on... I only have one son but when he gets married... I will treat his wife as my own... I won't be the overbearing mother in law and I'll let them raise their family as they see fit... but I'll be there for support... to offer kid free weekends/date nights or for them to just catch up on sleep... whatever is needed!! Everyone failed Carol... this is so heartbreaking
Once I saw a malnourished dog eat its puppies. We saved one, which she took good care of once she was fed. Its a primative survival mechanism that should'nt be ignored. It was horrifying, but made me realize how important caring for mothers is.
Cats will do the same thing. They chew the umbilical cord into the stomach. We kind of do the same when we think of pulling the plug if people can't act the way we think is normal anymore, and we do it to "end their suffering". People's minds are a dangerous and mysterious place
I am 45 years old and made a choice not to have children. I have suffered from crippling anxiety and depression my entire life. I knew early on that having children would be a momentous task and I had no family support network. I knew emotionally I would not be able to do it. The amount of effort it would take to raise decent human beings was way more than I could handle.
imo you are to be applauded for making that choice. You did good. Really. I hope you are doing okay. One can be happy without one’s own kids. There are many out there who need a friend, a mentor. You do what you gotta do.
I was in the same position as you. I knew motherhood was not something could handle, so I made the choice to be childless. My depression is enough on my plate to deal with. I was always told I would change my mind, you could not possibly not want children. That was so hurtful to hear that , yet I knew I was right in my decision. People need to stop their mouths and just accept the truth that some women do not want to walk that road, whatever the reasons. We have that right.
im much younger than you but i am making the same choice, I have a history of depression, anxiety and suicidal thoughts, a pregnancy would ruin my life and mental health
When ever i hear men say "as a woman, you 'just' need to have the baby and take care of it.." ... This is the video i wanna show to them. Women arent just machines where the baby pops out, we All have a lot to learn still. Be gratefull to youre wifes and the mothers of youre children. Giving birth is hard, but that really just the first step on long and hard journey. Parenthood is meant as a teamwork. This alone can save lives.
This is true, and one the 101 reasons I NEVER had kids and had an abortion when I needed one (the other time I prayed for a miscarriage and did everything in my power to will it to be, and thankfully, I had a miscarriage). I would never put myself or children through what I’ve been through, a fatherless child with a working Mom. A Latchkey Kid, they called us in the 80s.
Especially when men get to walk away so easily. When I had my first child, my fiance decided that he wanted to be with another woman and he walked away and no one ever held him accountable and he ended up doing the same to the woman he left me for. Having children from a man who didn't deserve one and postpartum psychosis is the worst.
My question is where was the husband? Most women who do this sort of thing statistically before it happened they were doing ALL the childcare, ALL the housework, and this women was even going to school, basically working non stop 24/7, maybe take your kids for a moment? Give her a break? She clearly works way more than him and he couldn’t be bothered? Poor kids, if he would have stepped up, actually thought of someone besides himself things would have been different.
No one can survive constant sleep deprivation. Rudy was brave to do this documentary cause it did not paint him in a good light. But it is important for men to see that it is not up to your wife to do it all. I thank god every day for my boyfriend because he doesn’t have these toxic masculine ideas. We are 100% 50/50 in fact right now he is home watching the kids while I work. I am impressed he chose to stay at home because I had found them a placement in a good daycare and I said hey don’t feel pressured to stay home they can go to daycare. He is so amazing! Men take care of your women so they can take care of the kids. He cooks he cleans I cook I clean we help each other. It is beautiful
I am shocked nobody brought up Andrea Yates. She absolutely suffered from this as well and the disease killed all 5 of her babies. The justice system needs to educate themselves on this illness. Just tragic
@@leelee2350they have a very similar look. A look of absolute depletion. Nutritional, physical, mental depletion. I wonder about iron levels in women who suffer from these conditions. Having so many babies close together is hard on the body.
This is so sad. I don't know Carol personally, but I fully believe she didn't want to hurt her babies. Those voicemails at the beginning were a heartfelt cry for help. We need more understanding, compassion, and support for moms before it gets this far. 😢
“I failed Carol” said the lawyer. However, I feel her husband was the one who failed them all: Carol, his daughters & ultimately himself. Such sadness. 😔
@@brendaarnold8485 SO, SO TRUE. My heart broke when I saw how terribly defeated that lawyer looked when they lost Carol's case. Don't they have jury's in trials in America??
I respectfully disagree. Our judicial system and the stigmas surrounding mental illness in this country are what failed her. If carols husband is to blame, so are probably the vast majority of husband's and fathers in the US. Our broken medical and legal systems failed. Letting this woman rot in a jail cell will not stop future infanticide and it will not help educate future fathers and families. It certainly will not help future mothers suffering from this illness come forward to ask for help.
The UNJUST sentencing is the EXACT REASON why people who suffer with mental illness DO NOT typically reach out for help. Shame on Judge Ricardo R. Ocampo as well as Prosecutor Emily Spear for their profound lack of empathy, compassion, and respect for mental illness!
There was a similar case in South Africa a few years ago, and the judge had the same basic ruling. Seems like this is a rare and tragic enough condition that it's completely taboo to try understand
I couldn’t imagine being a mom of 3 under 3, trying to complete school while cooking, cleaning and taking care of child duties. Then on top of all that, not receiving any type of help and being yelled at by my husband to quiet the children when they wake up crying. How can you as a man let your wife, the mother of your children, struggle like that? That poor woman, I’m so sorry those babies ultimately paid the price because this mom didn’t get the help she needed.
This documentary is so eye opening and heart wrenching. I’ve birthed 5 children and never experienced this horrible condition. My eldest daughter will become a mother in January. She has a history of depression and this absolutely petrifies me. Thank you for sharing these heart breaking tragedies so that others can be informed and maybe see the signs and save lives. My heart breaks for each and every precious life lost and every one of these families….
Speaking from experience, support her, encourage her, she should avoid too much stress, speak the word of God over her, pray and fast for her if you believe in God as well.
The phrase we failed Carol twice still resounds in my head. Who spoke for Carol: women. Who gave a complete inhumane sentence: a man. I’ve been taking antidepressants and anti anxiety medication since I tried to kill myself because my postpartum depression, I was lucky my husband brought me to the hospital because he recognized I was not ok. No one can understand deeply what’s going on while episodes of psicosis, I do remember parts and there’re black outs I can’t remember at all. Carol should be in a mental institution, she doesn’t belong in prison.
I agree. It breaks my heart. If her own husband can speak highly about her even after she took their children from him that should have told the courts everything they needed to know
I am a new father with my wife. Today my son is 4 months. The winter is my slow season so I was basically able to be here with my wife and son the first 4 months of his life pretty much all day everything. We are a team, and we both work together. As a mother, she has certain roles that only she can do. I tell her daily how amazing of a mother she is and how grateful I am, and how lucky our son is to have such an amazing mother. I always knew she would be a great momma, and its a beautiful thing to watch. We have talks at night and most of the time its me worrying if we’re doing the right thing, hoping I am doing enough, and anxious about what the future holds. They always end with us saying all we can do is our best, and we’re doing it. Being a dad is the best feeling in the world.
I think it's monstrous to convict a mother suffering from post partum psychosis of first degree murder. That's ludicrous. I feel like justice for these beautiful babies is NOT locking their mother away and throwing the key, but it's helping her, getting her the medical, psychological and psychiatric support she desperately needs. Not to mention that treating these women as if they are cold blooded murderers does NOTHING to help with the stigma and give other women strenght to come forward. As a society, we have a long path ahead of us, yet. Seeing a prosecutor fight to put Carol behind bars forever makes me want to weep, and go to her, and grab her by the shoulders, and tell her "don't you get it ? Don't you see ? This is a victim as much as a perpetrator !". RIP Sophia, Yazmin and Xenia 🤍🤍🤍
@user-ii2uh1xq7b exactly. That's what people are ignoring. She could have called 991 at any moment. The father or even her sister. She failed her kids. My friend had this happen to her. She called everyone in her family. When they got here the tub was overflowing. She had planned to put the babies in the tub. Thankfully the family showed up and she got psychiatric help.
@@kittyb275 all due respect, you might not be a mental health professional and truly understand what psychosis entails. It's so easy for us to judge, oh she should have done this, or she should have done that. I'm so happy your friend got help in time, that's amazing. But one story isn't the other. What do you think a life sentence does for Carol, or for advocating for women ?
If your child calls you that many times, pull over the effing bus and answer your phone. Her mother failed her. Her husband failed her. She is a victim too. She asked for help and no one helped her. She was sick. We do not take care of mothers.
Same thing I thought... I really didn't like her mother but her daughter phoning and phoning could've been something emergency different than what happened, instead she doesn't answer and he walks out in a mood to then return and the children have passed and she's in a corner trying to take her own life... She reached out and nobody helped her.. rip little angels
Not insensitive. Suppose to she was released, becomes pregnant again, and murders her child again? Everybody would blame the judge for lenient sentencing.
@MidNovembersDreamaugnov you're part of the problem with that approach. People who are psychotic and kill others are let free and found "not criminally responsible," but a woman who is experiencing PPS and loses her mind, should be guilty? Seems fair. Maybe the father should have HELPED her, instead of forcing her to do literally EVERYTHING at home, with zero sleep.
Back in the 50s, my grandma lined my dad and his siblings up and put a gun to them. Her husband was abusive, they both had schizophrenia, and they lived in crippling poverty in an insular community. I don't know how the situation ended peacefully, just that she was in a state hospital for a good time after that, and everyone to this day talks about what a good, wonderful, loving woman she was-- and I believe it, she was just deeply ill.
I hate to sound morbid but I feel like I've had my share of problems and others I knew in a hospital program all wanted to off themselves many wanted to do it even more out of guilt if they had kids so I get a little suspicious when people take their kids out to protect them or spare them but don't take themselves out also
@@leahflower9924 I don't think it's morbid, it's necessary conversation. And I'm not sure if she tried to kill herself, the people I could've asked are gone now, but I've wondered if post-natal psychosis had anything to do with it.
So many people failed this woman. She is a victim too. I felt so taken care of when I was pregnant, but the minute that baby came out, I was on my own.
This. 💯 Everything is “all about the baby” & baby showers & stuff. It’s all fun & games until the sleep deprivation sets in. There’s a reason why they use that as war torture. Having had a brief bout with PPD, I ALWAYS ask new moms how THEY are. & Are they getting enough sleep!?!?
And there’s always the big “happy” kerfuffle after the baby is born. One month later, You’re on your own. THAT is the precise moment new Mom’s need the most support
I had crippling postpartum depression when I had my daughter nearly 20 years ago. I suffered in silence for five months before I had to face the facts and told my family that I needed help. I cannot imagine what postpartum psychosis must feel like because it was already insanely horrible.
If you have postpartum after the first child that means to stop, these women have children one after another in a short time, they do not give themselves time to recover thats how psychosis happens.
@@VictorMendez-l6ui had postpartum depression with my first baby ( thought of harming him then I wanted to die myself ) I waited 8 years to get pregnant again but the depression came back again I just think some people are prone to it. That being said both my children are okey I controlled myself and I asked for help when I got overwhelmed I took days off asked someone in my family to watch them for me
The prosecutor and the judge got it WRONG! I wish Carol had a jury trial, not a bench trial. I feel like she would have been found not guilty by reason of insanity.
What an absolute travesty of justice. So much evidence that she was not in a sane, rational state of mind at the time of the crime. But yet many who purposely harm their children, some over years and years, are simply given slaps on the wrists.
I had postpartum psychosis after my daughter was born. I felt as though I were going mad. It started with me not remembering how to do simple tasks like making a cup of tea and I could no longer finish sentences when I spoke. From then on it just got worse. It was the most frightening thing that I have ever experienced and that is why I was sterilised at age 24 to make sure that I never had another child. Unless you have experienced it you cannot imagine what the madness feels like!
My mother broke my heart shortly after having my first. "You need to learn how to do things by yourself, because I had to with you." She was a single mom until I was 8, I'm now 30 with three kids 4(July 2019), 3(December 2020), and 20 months(July 2022). It's still like pulling teeth to get anyone in my family involved, and my husband's family couldn't care less if we were alive or dead. I tried antidepressants once, and within two weeks I was already writing a note, so I refuse any psychoactive medications.
Rudy failed her and their kids. What a useless husband thinking that because he works 40 hours per week he should be exempt from caring for his kids. Tradition kills- it’s not unmanly to be an active participant in the lives of your children. She was trying to better all their lives by getting a degree and he didn’t care. Also, having three kids back to back is so dangerous- for mind and body. Unfair to the kids born after the first as they lose out on having a carrier who is in prime health. She didn’t even have time to get healthy and strong again after each pregnancy. Studies show babies born so close together are often not as healthy as babies born with larger gaps between births.
Right? She probably asked him for help so many times and he didn’t care when he should have. He’s the type of guy to make his wife feel horrible for wanting help just because he pays the bills. Tears now but where was he when she was begging for help?
Indeed. To think that because his mum apparently coped doing everything and being a SAHM, that his wife would be exactly the same is sheer ignorance. His wife was born into a modern world with modern problems and it doesn’t take a genius to work out everyone is different and she clearly was struggling. He needs to make it his life mission to teach other men to watch out for the signs and to help out as it takes two to create life.. and takes two to nourish that life. Women can’t do it all alone. Screw tradition and thinking that all women can cope well with motherhood, especially with three kids under three.
i think society as a whole failed this family. rudy did what he did because society has made these unreasonable gender roles. it’d be helpful if we all recognised that having a family is a complete team effort not just u do this and i do that.
@whitneyanders5945, he didn't fail them. This was an adjustment period for the entire family, him included. Everyone could have benefited from additional support. Any woman DUMB ENOUGH to have back to back pregnancies , probably doesn't realize the body needs at LEAST a full 18 months to recover from all the physical and hormonal disruptions of pregnancy and more if you're breastfeeding. The mental and emotional changes can take even longer. Stop believing that you MUST have multiple pregnancies back to back in order to fulfill your "womanly purpose ".
@jsmith5509 " any woman dumb enough" are you serious? It takes two to tango and him getting mad at her because one of THEIR baby's wad keeping him awake at night leads me to believe he may have given her a hard time if she refused sex!! Your comment is ignorant 😡
I never had a problem until my 4 son was born. I was not depressed felt fine did not feel overwhelmed. Suddenly I started having weird thoughts about hurting my child. Like voices in my brain telling me to drown him break his arm. However, when I got those thoughts, I would put my child someplace safe and go outside until it stopped. I remember my mom telling me she suffered from Post partum psychosis, so I knew what was happening. I was afraid to tell anyone about it for fear my child would be takin away from me. Heath care and hospitals need to address this situation. Moms need to be told what can happen and how to deal with it. Mostly it's never talked about.
Could be something as ‘simple’ (by which I mean treatable and testable) thyroid illness, which can cause psychosis. Many hormonal disorders cause ‘psychiatric’ symptoms. I believe there’s no difference between so called mental illness and physical. The mental illness is still physical! It’s a bad misnomer.
When I was 20 I had my second child. My daughter was only 11 months. I had severe postpartum and my husband left me for it. I begged him to help me and he wouldn’t. Everything these women said is like ptsd for me! I had never heard of it and I wasn’t informed postpartum existed. I thought if I told someone my intrusive thoughts I would lose everything. Thank god my son is still here. 18 now and healthy. This is something that needs to be talked about more. Our mid wife’s and obs need to be talking to us more about.
Women are purposely not taught or caustion about all the life alternating changes and pain associated with giving birth. That's why. Even a female nurse came out and confessed this, claiming that the patriarchy were afraid less women would give birth which is why they're hardly taught.
This video really needs to explain the full evil of psychosis. The thing about psychosis is you have completely lost touch with reality. That means things like calling 911 or a husband dont exist anymore. She was breaking with reality and the last rational thought her brain was hanging on to was "call mom" because thats what we have done since childhood when we are scared. Her desperate phonecalls were the last part of her hanging on till finally that broke.
This comment right here. I couldnt remember anything else. I didn't even know I had a family but luckily neighbors down the street took me in. I was naked and trying to get into every house thinking it was mine.
Exactly. People say, "when her mom didn't answer, why didn't she try someone else?" You describe it perfectly - she reverted back to the base instinct to reach for her own mother. There was no rationality to think she should or even could reach out to anyone else. She could have even been having paranoia or delusions that made her think anyone other than her mother was unsafe or out to hurt her.
The level of IGNORANCE about mental illness demonstrated by the JUDGE and the LAWYER (PROSECUTER) is appalling! WOW! Andrea Yates was acquitted and went into a mental hospital; similar happen for the blonde lady in the 80's.... Are you telling me that in 2014 we are going backwards??!?! With all the breakthroughs and advancements in medicine and neuroscience?!?!
Seriously! The utter IGNORANCE of both the judge and prosecutor! She is very obviously mentally ill - how could they not see that?! I’m disgusted .. but I have nothing but empathy and compassion for carol❤
I think it’s a Catch 22. On one end, yes, there are advancements and more knowledge about mental health. On the other hand, that same awareness of these issues is exactly the reason why she should not have continued to have these babies back to back to back.
I was in hospital for 3 nights with my son, in a room with 3 other mothers and babies. I didn't get any sleep as nobody takes the babies away for the night or at least a few hours. I was so exhausted and upset, I wished I would have never had a baby. New mums need support and rest.
I hope so. He offered her zero help despite knowing she struggled. He didn't deserve to lose his children, but he deserves to know how he failed them and their mother.
Wow. These babies were pretty close in age. It seems like her postpartum symptoms could've been so intense because she had them close together. Not to mention she had to balance her schoolwork and maintain a household as well. I don't have children, so I don't know what this is like, but this definitely makes me want to watch closely for signs of ppd in women I know 😢. This is so sad.
Even thyroid disorder can cause psychosis. And doctors are so useless and reluctant to test properly, or don’t even know how to. Many engage in medical gaslighting regularly.
As a mother of 5 including twins. I went through all of this, i was probably on the brink of a manic, or psychotic episode. I wanted to die. 😢 It was the hardest thing i ever been through and im still going through it. ❤ Im doing a lot better now but thise days looking back break my heart. Instead of warm memories when i see a photo from a few years ago, i can hardly look because the pain is too great. Then i fell guilty that ive made mistakes and i think of myself as a bad mom. It's a horrible cycle😢
That prosecution lawyer is a complete and utter idiot to even entertain the idea that she planned any of it. What an odious person. I am childfree for many reasons but also because I KNOW I would get PPD even in the best case scenario, and PPP isn't something I want to risk. My heart goes out to all women who have suffered with this.
That's really sad for you that you have such a fear of something that is so rare and even more so to the severity of this case that you won't risk having kids. Do you realize that you literally have a 99.999999% chance of this not being an issue. It's probably even higher than that percentage.
@@lindseymiller8165i’m assuming she already struggles with a lot of mental health issues and that’s why she’s so sure she’d get it. At least that’s why I think I would.
@@lindseymiller8165What’s sad is doubting her choice. Many women know they are high risk for PPD and PPP and choose wisely not to have kids. Stop questioning them, it’s part of the problem. What do you lose from her not having kids?
This is similar to the more recent case of Lindsay Clancy. Killing her 3 young children and suffering from major PPP. The state or prosecutor says she planned it all before doing it. Even though there is documentation of doctor and treatment visits. It’s crazy, they just don’t want to go out of their way to try to help or fix this horrible mental health issue. Almost as if they don’t think it’s real. It’s nuts…. and can happen to any women. Scary.
My sister had postpartum depression with her first child. I lived with her and her husband then. I was 13 and I feltvso sad for her. She cried about everything. Once she cried because she didn't pack me a school lunch. I think me being there helped a lot. After school I spent a lot of time with my little niece and I would calm her down easier than my sister could The baby obviously were distressed because her mother was distressed. My mother eventually told her it was "matirnity blues", as my mom called it. She had two more children with big gaps inbetween . I can't remember any doctor ever treating her or even explaining it to her.
❤I live in a multi generation family home. With 4 generations. My grandparents, my mom and dad, my siblings, my husband and my children. My mom and husband saved me when i was pregnant and healing postpartum. My Mom did all the grocery shopping and cooking every meal and dishes, and laundry. My mom told me my only job was to take care of myself and breastfeed my baby. My husband changed diapers and cared for our baby for hours after work so i could take a bath and get a break. My culture is different, I live in the USA and I'm white, so people usually judge me for living at home with my parents but they don't understand how helpful it is to have my mom help me become a Mother. ❤❤❤❤❤ My mom also stays up at night with me when I emotionally break down. It's nice that my mom, grandma, husband and my sisters are always there to hold my babies when i need help. I couldnt imagine living alone.
My Aunt Catherine put her less than 1 month old baby on the fire escape in Brooklyn, NY in 1947. She then turned on all the gas burners on the stove and the oven without lighting them. She died, my cousin, Eileen, survived. My Aunt could’ve inadvertently blown up the whole block, as they were row houses. Thankfully that didn’t happen. She was diagnosed with post partum psychosis…possibly posthumously. Sorry to see mothers still don’t get the lifesaving help needed.
22 years ago after a scary high risk pregnancy I gave birth to a healthy and long (22.5 inches) son. A few days after we came home from the hospital I knew what I was feeling wasn’t the baby blues but I was scared to say anything because I feared judgment and being called crazy. I hid it well from my husband and even my mom but I couldn’t fool my mother in law. She sat started coming over a few days a week for a few hours to give me a break and encouraged me to talk to my husband. My mother in law was by my side when I told him and I immediately got help for PPD. I kept saying that I love my son but I don’t like him and I felt awful for feeling that way. What mother doesn’t like her kid?! The baby had colic and I thought he hated me. All of these thoughts ran through my head and the guilt piled on and I felt like I didn’t deserve my son. I wanted to leave so my husband could find a better mother for my son. I don’t wish this on anyone and my heart goes out to all mom’s who have been through it.
You are not alone.. my uncertainty begain the day I brought him home. I felt like I had stolen him from the hospital and that the cops could come to arrest me and take him away from me. During the day I would search areas out around my home that I could hide him from the cops when they may show up to look for him...
I am on my own recovery journey with postpartum psychosis. I am so grateful that my husband prompted me to go to my doctor. It was terrifying when it led to an immediate inpatient stay. I had to advocate hard as a breastfeeding individual. But I was able to get on medications for my situation. My life has improved immensely since. I can do hard things
Thankfully, I asked for help before I lost the ability to ask, I called social services and told my health visitor. I was placed in a psychiatric hospital I had no family support or partner. They placed my child in respite care and had me sign a paper. He was adopted without me being aware of what was happening. I have watched this film and the pain I have endured for 2 decades could havesomehow impossibly been worse. God help this woman. I would never have signed my child away just as she would have never killed her children.
There is an episode of Were all Insane and a woman talks about her post partum OCD. And her biggest fear was them taking her baby.. so sorry that happened to you
I am sorry this happened to you. Hopefully your son is still alive for you to see again someday. I know this is not what you plan to happen but after watching this, I hope you feel reassured that you made the right decision.
I am so very, VERY sorry. I literally had just commented how women are so afraid to seek help any more bc their children are removed from them so we suffer in silence with SO MANY situations It's horrifying. We go to family, they're incapable, disinterested, not willing or don't care. We go to local authorities and they take our kids. We go to Drs they report you like you're crazy. Where do we turn? To one another, some of us can. I'm gracious I never experienced anything this drastic, but I did have some sort of episode after my 2nd child. No fear of harming her but some sort of repeat thoughts that just wouldn't stop and some kind of electrical sensation down my spine and neck I couldn't shake I don't know what it was from but it took ssri to get it to stop and then I weaned off them so fast bc they made my anxiety HORROBLE. Never have taken them again. Began working with a psychiatrist to help me learn techniques for my mind and body, rather than rely on a pill I A, couldn't afford really and B, didn't want side effects of. I hurt and ache for any momma whose ever had her child removed from her. I nearly don't care what a woman is going through there is almost always a better way to help them BOTH. Momma and baby. Just takes some time and care, money and love. Money is what most fall short on for helping others. Women should be able to seek out help freely without any fear of their child being removed. No matter WHAT the situation. And feel safe in knowing there will be help for she and her children, TOGETHER. If into that help, the child isn't thriving and mother isn't able to care for her child, MAYBE THEN, maybe then removal should be thought of. But, most often, if they're BOTH OR ALL loved and taught, cared for and treated (if medical issues are present) the family can recover. I'm so very sorry for you. I am. Mother to mother, I am sending you love.
I had post partum depression with my first daughter. I was isolated from daily due to distance, crying all the time, I wanted to hurt myself and my baby. It was no joke. It’s real !
The fact that she was not using contraception despite obviously struggling with maternity shows she was already depressed. My friend got pregnant twice because she was too depressed to even get contraceptives and the husband was a good for nothing.
When my kids were babies/toddlers at their checkups, the first thing the dr. would ask was, "How are you feeling? How is the family doing" etc. This was before those types of questions were required like they are now. He was awesome.
I’m so glad this issue is being given attention. I had a friend in college who had a child temporarily removed from the home due to postpartum psychosis. It’s a very serious issue and too many cases seem to be brushed under the rug.
My sister went into psychosis adter she had her son. We helped her through it. When she had her daughter at the end of, September, I vowed to help her as much as I can to help prevent it. She's a strong woman and incredible mom and I'm super proud of her!
@educational1651 I'm so sorry. I know what it's like. I ended up in a facility for 2 weeks when my 2nd was 4 months old and my family didn't help me. My neighbor did though and I thank God for her. She was so good with me and my 2 kids. I'm sorry you didn't have anyone there to help. That makes my heart hurt for you. 😢
I know the system was not good. But why did she have so many children so quickly? Not responsible for herself or the children even if she was well mentally. How much love and attention can she give each of them?
@@minmin-bk1gn She was ill, in her head. Who knows why she wanted kids, maybe because they would be nice to her? Why do hoarders fill every nook and cranny with stuff and toys and magazines? Why do OCD-people clean everything? Because they feel like they have to.
I got diagnosed with postpartum depression and i gotten the support i needed and the medicine i needed to make it stable. I'm advocating for all the women who has gone through this. It's not an easy road to go on.
This husband should be on trial! 3 babies in less than 3 years would break anyone. Unless. You have a lot of help. What is wrong here. My heart breaks for the babies and her family
I dealt with ppd and thankfully my partners helped. But as a mother to a boy. We also need to teach our sons that they need to be there for their partners. It’s fundamental that they participate when a child is born.
That's one reason I'm a childfree woman. I knew I wouldn't be able to deal with PPD, isolation with child[ren], and financial bombardment, to just name a few. No, just no. It's a horror. I'm surprised anyone can handle motherhood in today's isolation society.
As a mother that suffered from postpartum psychosis this hit really close to home. I tried to commit suicide twice. Once when my son was a baby and they had to revive me and I stayed in ICU for a month before going to the psych hospital for a while. The next time was about 6 months later and only survived because the rope broke from my weight even though I did everything else right. I guess it was some sort of divine intervention. Fortunately I knew I was very ill because I've been mentally ill my whole life although not to the point of pyschosis but I knew that I wasnt safe for him to he around so I moved out from our apartment with him and his dad. Fortunately everything is okay now. Me and his dad are still together. My son is now 9 and in 4th grade and is healthy. I still have my struggles but you can never understand what these women are going through unless you've dealt with psychosis yourself or been close with someone who has. You no longer live in reality therefore you cannot make sane decisions. I hope we can study this more and stop prosecuting these women for first degree murder when they need mental health help instead. Really their loved ones need to be looking out for signs ahead of time and let their doctor know because this is serious and lives are at risk. I know I'm one of the lucky ones and thats only because I've spent so much of my life in mental health care so I knew something was wrong and I wasnt safe to be around my son. We need to bring awareness to this!
Thank you for this. I was alone living in a foreign country away from my family. I gave birth to 2 boys 20 months apart, had to return back to work with minimum rest. I don't think my husband knows any of my pains I went through even now.
I developed postpartum OCD after my second child was born. It was pretty unbearable. I told my OB that I was getting to the point where I wasn’t leaving the house. She put me on an SSRI and that did help. But sadly the anxiety never left me and the OCD is not as bad as it was but it’s still there and probably always will be. My daughter (second child) who is now 15, was diagnosed with OCD when she was 9 years old. I’m really glad these things are being talked about more but we still have a long way to go. This is such a tragic story 💔
As much as I would rather both you and your daughter simply NOT have to deal with that, I can’t help but think that you experiencing OCD first probably paved the way for you to be so much more helpful, compassionate, and empathetic towards your daughter’s experience of OCD, than if you’d never gone through it ❤️🩹💖 I guess what I’m saying is: she’s lucky to have you, and hopefully some good has come - or will come - out of such a difficult experience. Keep going!!
I have suffered with OCD all of my life. Whenever I was going through an especially stressful time, my OCD dramatically increased. I was first diagnosed with it at about 10 years old. I did not end up having children for numerous reasons, but one of the main reasons I felt hesitant to do so, stemmed from knowing that I would most likely become overwhelmed with worry about the child and never stop feeling overwhelming anxiety. I feel for you so much. The constant checking on things is just something I didn't think I would have handled well at all. You cannot get water from an empty cup. Antidepressants helped about 60%, but I think once your brain gets into that loop of not being sure, etc., it truly can easily take over your life. Thank you for sharing your story. 💗
This is absolutely gut wrenching. Listening to her calls to her mother….wow. I remember the early days of motherhood. It is no joke. Your emotions are everywhere. Prayers for this family.
My sister took her life after developing postpartum depression and then postpartum psychosis. She was living in another state away from all of us, and after her second baby she said she didn’t feel like she ever bonded with them. Our mom cut off contact with her and blocked her on all social media after she expressed how she was feeling and stated she didn’t want her kids. She took an entire bottle of Tylenol the next day. I wish I’d done more and I miss her everyday. She wasn’t responding to my messages, but I should have driven out to her and helped her. Postpartum depression is no joke. It needs to be taken seriously. I am 32 weeks pregnant with my first and feeling very depressed. I am so worried I might not bond with my baby and don’t really know what to do 😔
I’m so sorry for your loss , love ❤️🩹 sending love and healing prayers your way. Also I’m sorry you’re stressed about your own pregnancy experience :( nowadays there are functional medicine practitioners who help with hormone balancing post pregnancy, maybe this is something you can explore , for peace of mind at least.
@CrimsonRose29 the fact that you are worried about being able to bond with your little one is a good sign ❤ Your original comment was two months ago so at this point maybe you have already welcomed your little one? Give yourself grace and just know that parenthood, motherhood especially, is one of the hardest things to ever experience. It’s HARD, so when it gets tough and you think it’s just you, remember this- it’s NOT JUST YOU ❤and there are people who can help 💕
I am a mother. And I GET IT. New mothers, mothers period need villages! They need support, because this HERE?! Motherhood is beautiful AND vicious. I’m going to say this: MEN NEED TO HELP. This job is HARD.
Mom's need to be provided with info about post partum depression at the time of baby's birth & throughout the child's young lives. Pediatricians, doctors, etc should all be involved. This isn't a modern phenomenon, but instead of seeing it for the mental illness it is, society's tendency to demonize the mother, & ignore the illness, isn't constructive in helping in the prevention of future tragedies.
Actually, the information needs to be given before conception if possible. It commonly occurs after having 2 kids close together. I knew a professional who studied it. Having children farther apart may help, along with making an educated choice about one's ability and finances to raise a child or children. More thought needs to be given to the welfare of children before they are born.
Learned a lot. I had baby blues with my first, lasted a day or 2, but it was enough to learn I couldn’t control it. Even though I cannot imagine what she went through, I empathize with her. As a career woman, mom, and now a grandma, I can say it is NOT EASY. For years I would feel sorry for pregnant women, as they had no idea what is really like. Not because having a child is hard, but because our society is not set up to embrace new moms. Today I learned maternal psychosis is a separate thing from postpartum depression. Both are not well understood by most people. This documentary should be shared to all professionals dealing with pregnancy, moms and babies. Thank you!
I wish there were psychology classes taught on the high school level to explain the topics like postpartum issues and psychological disorders. I hear about so many young couples fighting, etc. And also encourage students to get on birth control. Single young women usually end up living in poverty. Whoever reads this,please tell your daughters to not have babies back to back. As we see here, it’s extremely stressful on the psyche, and body. 😢😢 Very well done documentary.
There should be. Health classes should include all the details of single parenting, economic impacts, post-partum, physical issues as well. As well as family planning for couples. Raising a child is a lot of work and expense. Everyone considering having a child should know everything about pre natal care and what's going to happen when you have a baby and what you need to have in place to care for one properly. Its not all instagram perfection, it is a mix of work, exhaustion, and reward. And expense.
Let’s start with talking about the roles of boyfriend, husband, father. Let’s promote dads, support and guide them to be loving partners. Women go out work their forty hours and at least another forty at home. It should be no different with dad. I hate hearing “ oh he is home babysitting….no he is home being a dad, a useful addition to his wife and children, not just a paycheque.
I’m not buying that she was out of her mind. We are blaming everyone around her. She was smart enough to ask for help earlier on and she didn’t. She went and had a third child instead of using contraceptives. I think it was premeditated. I had the baby blues after I had my children, was isolated and had little support with a husband that worked all of the time, endured trauma growing up but I never killed my kids. I do believe she is made to be an example of how our we need to become more educated on the signs of postpardum depression and this needs to change. She lacked resilience and common sense.
When her husband afterwards said she needed help, I just couldn't stop thinking, well why didn't you help her then? Looking after 3 kids under the age of 3 all day is way more exhausting than his 40hr a week job. It's the social construction we have built up around paid work being the be all and end all and unpaid work must be easier as you stay at home all day. It's the unpaid workers that carry the paid workers and work all day and night, while the paid worker stops when they get home. Everyone said they should have helped her more, except him. I'm not blaming him, but his lack of acknowledgment of his part in this speaks volumes.
@@VictorMendez-l6u He could still help even if he is paying the bills. She was working, it was just unpaid, as looking after 3 kids is hard work. They couldn't afford a nanny as they were struggling for money. She was exhausted and he was old school expecting his dinner on the table at night. But we're not in the 1950's now. When partners come home, they help out and clean up, help with the kids and help with dinner no matter what job they have.
There’s been quite the baby boom here the last couple of years. I shared this video to my Facebook. I felt like it may help someone I care about. Thank you to everyone who shared their stories and participated!! I know it couldn’t have been easy to have to relive and retell their horrific experiences. Y’all take care of yourself and each other! I am sending prayers and positive energy up for victims, survivors, families etc!! God please wrap your wings around everyone who is affected by this illness.
I went through postpartum psychosis, it was beyond what I could describe, I gave my kids up for adoption because of it. I told the doctor what I was going through, he handed me some expired medication, and said I was okay. By the grace of God I didn’t harm my kids. This is real, and so crazy.
@@kingknowssbest It was difficult for me, but, I loved them so much I had to let them go. I wanted them to have a healthy childhood. I did search for them when they turned 18, currently we all live in the same town now, and have a good relationship!
This mother was crying out for help. She needs to have someone fight for her, she’s already been through more than anyone could possibly imagine. Please someone help her ❤
This is a topic I knew nothing about. Absolutely nothing. I know a little more now. And that’s a good thing. Hope you get more insight. I won’t say: enjoy because this is harrowing nevertheless so important. I sincerely hope all who need it, get the help and support they deserve. Reach out if you need help. Please. And if you hear someone crying for help, go for it. Help.
You are one of the very rare channels who seems to give a damn about people. Everything you do here is to help others. It’s no wonder at all why your channel is so successful! We all love and appreciate you guys so much! Thank you for todays upload. Knowledge and understanding makes all the difference in the world!
Is this justice? For who.
@@jennaeveliina313 what do you think could be done differently to get proper justice in the right places?
@@BucketHeadianHagg i honestly dont know. But to send her to die in prison doesnt seem quite right ether. I think the US justice system needs to update the insanity plea as whole. It isnt working, people try to take advantage of it all the time, and then when its actually needed, no one is willing to actually go through with it and accept that there are rare occations where it actually does apply. Of course she needs to serve time as her punishment, but the fact that the judge admitted that she did go through psychosis, but he didnt consider that in his sentence... Theres something wrong here. I dont have a answer for you..
Thank you for addressing these challenging issues. Wise people open their minds to investigate the gray areas of the world.
To the man that said "husbands should get involved immediately if your partner seems distressed". THANK YOU !!!!
My husband did when I had postpartum depression with our first . And depression during pregnancy with my second
I'm glad you have a good husband!!
@@lindaschultz7900 yes I'm absolutely blessed. He also grew up with two olde sisters and understood enough about mental illness without being a professional
@@lindaschultz7900p😊
Husbands should get involved even BEFORE the mother shows any sign of distress! Period.
Unless you’ve lived postpartum depression/psychosis, you can’t begin to believe how horrible it really is.
I totally agree with you!
Agree! My mom has psychosis right now and I'm not sure if I'll ever get my mom back. 🥺
@@NelidaDollPlease hold onto that hope. My mother was diagnosed with BPD and schizoaffective disorder. I didn't have my "real" mom for over 15 years, and one day she got better. She gradually came around and finally was herself again and balanced out. I remember feeling so hopeless, helpless, and desperate. Just hold on tight to whatever faith you have. 🤍✨
My friend had it and still managed to call for help and didn't go through with ending her kids.
So true!! I wouldn’t wish it on anyone.
We are not designed to raise children alone without help. We are not designed to go months or years without sleep and provide 24/7 care. We are meant to raise children in a village because it is a mammoth task.
Something we all need to ask ourselves. When tragedy happens, everyone says “Oh if only they had called me and said they were struggling. I would have helped”. But would you?
I struggled after the birth of my two children. I asked for help. From friends, family and the local baby health nurse. If I’d said I was going to harm my kids, maybe someone would have helped. But I didn’t. I told people I was exhausted and hungry and could they look after the baby for a few hours. But time after time I was told people were busy, or tired or had other commitments. I was told I’d be ok. Just sleep when the baby sleeps. Don’t worry about cleaning. But when does the cleaning get done? When does food get cooked?
Don’t wait for a tragedy to help parents in need. We could prevent these things happening if we normalise EVERY mother, every parent, needing help to raise their children.
Louder for the people in the back!!!!
I agree, but also where is your husband?
@@yeetnama9094 Deployed overseas with the military 9-10 months of the year.
This is the dilemma of asking for help is right here: the guilt, letdowns and still having people saying they'll show up then they don't.
Thank you both for your selfless service to our nation ❤
My wife in tears one night came to me and begged me not to hate her. She then with self hatred told me about the thoughts she was having. We then took steps to keep our child safe while we got her talk therapy that led to chemical therapy. She is now years out and looks back at that as a real close call. Thankfully she was strong enough to tell me. No shame and it all worked out ok. Happy healthy mom and child.
That's the way it should be, she did everything right to ensure the safety of her flesh and blood. She had absolutely no shame coming to you. because she was putting your child's safety above anytype of embarrassment, or how she would look to you or anyone else. She's actually a very courageous woman and such a strong mother, her story is so inspiring. Her testimony could help so many women, I hope she shares it more with mother's, that are having those thoughts and feelings.
❤
@MrBobbo18 :- AND you are obviously a loving supportive husband, who your wife knew would listen to her and help her. Not many women have husbands like you, and like mine is, also. Be proud, because you're both great partners to each other, and parents to your children
I mean I'm a woman and I usually have no problem being biased against men but you know if this was a dad even a single dad and they killed any of their kids they would be called a psychopath or a narc and wouldn't get the understanding these moms get and get labeled psychotic
@@leahflower9924because it isn’t natural for women to behave in that way because it is usually a mental health issue. Men are usually not the ones left alone with babies and lacking sleep. You riding hard for them but you will get burnt one day too honey❤
This poor woman was taking care of 3 babies 24/7 day and night. One baby would go to sleep and the other 2 would start to cry. All day and night.
And their living space was a garage??? Imagine being stuck inside that cramped space with 3 babies, doing it all on her own.
she reminded me so much of Andrea Yates..
It’s heartbreaking, but I’m sure she played a part in making a conscious choice to have the children. She knew the dynamics of the household and her husband’s personality- the husband she chose to marry and have children with.
@@candicane1 it's not that easy and rational, motherhood is so romanticized but in reality it's the most difficoult thing in the world
Also apparently doing online school courses. I would be exhausted. I'm also assuming that the 2 older kids would be also at teething stage that was the hardest for me. Plus a newborn.
@@SerenDipity64711 Andrea Yates went home at the end of her trial. Carol got life with no parole.
I remember waking up to my wife crying standing over me and she couldn't get words out so I ran to the crib and my baby girl was crying so I picked her up and sat down and my wife said she doesn't know how people do this because she hadn't slept in a week. I calmed her down and called out of work and I gave her a 5mg edible and my wife slept for 12 hours. I was alone with the baby for the first time just me nobody to help just me like all moms do daily. That one day left me exhausted. When mom woke up I told her to go get us food we ate and went to a park and I told her I was sorry for not noticing how hard being mom was and I told her we can take turns every day staying up with the baby so nobody is so tired they get burned out and my wife cried and agreed. The one day I was alone I was quickly hit with the fact that being a mom is a hard task. I literally did anything I could to make it easier for my wife I would cook clean after work and just let her relax and do things she did before we were parents. I was so worried about my wife's mental well being. I still over here my wife saying what I do as a dad and her friends angrily say they never get the help I give and the truth is I was terrified that my wife might break from exhaustion and the real grind of just being a mom. I made sure that my 2 girls were ok (mom and baby). My wife is really a great mom. That night she woke me up crying always pops in my head I feel that was a moment where had I not stepped up and did my part my wife may have suffered something terrible. I will give my life for my girls so I will always do what I can to keep us a happy family. It's ok to speak about this stuff. To the men who see this, working doesn't mean you are done for the day. Get up get coffee and help your wife! Just let her sleep and eat a whole meal without stopping. You may be able to stop something like this. I love being a dad and I will do anything my wife asks to make being a mom easier on her.
You're a gem. I felt your heart in this. I hope you all live happily and your relationship deepens beyond what you could imagine.
I wish the best for your family and you
Thank you 😢
@@Murder.Muffin thank you very much!
@@niziangely5469 thank you so much!
Back in 1991 my mother had me and when I was 3 months old she was pregnant with my brother, she had a horrible second pregnancy and birth. Back then my dad wasn’t conscious of how depressed she was, but he knew there was something wrong. He asked my mothers younger sister to come and help my mom during the day cook/clean and watch the babies so my mom could rest. When he would get home he would out us to sleep and let my mom rest. They both agreed to not have any more babies and he took her on afternoon walks without us so she can focus on herself. 30 years later my mom says “that man saved my life, we had no idea I had postpartum depression, but he took care of me” that proves to me that when a man loves you and cares he will find a way!
so true, he is a good man, only 1 percent are like him, .
Beautiful 😊
I love this so much.❤❤
Amen! Thank you for sharing your story.
I realized as young as 18 I couldn't handle a life stuck at home w a screaming baby. Made sure I never got pg. 72 now and no regrets. Of you can't handle a baby then DONT HAVE ONE.
My father treated my mom terribly when she stayed home with us. He expected her to handle all of the cooking, cleaning, and childcare, and would scream at her all night if she did the slightest thing to set him off. I am forever grateful that she made it through and kept us safe.
I'm sorry ur dad was like that
Single married women = slavery
It's HARD AF out here.
Your father was a narcissist
Your father is a narcissist. Your mother is a brave and strong woman.
I thought I was a tough woman until I had a child. The sleep deprivation, trying to heal my own childhood wounds while wanting to keep my son safe in this dark world. At times, I thought I would crumble into pieces. I bathed only when I had to. People have no idea how fragile the psyche is. RIP to those babies, help Mommies all over the world. 🙏🏾
💔🙏
I'm so proud of you and the work you've done. ❤
100% and the world kind of expects mom to just mold into that role effortlessly. It's tough!!!
Get your big girl pants on and do what women were meant to do .
❤ true
I'm 32 years old and I choose to be child free because I know damn well I won't be able to handle being a mother. I already deal with severe mental disorders so I can't even imagine raising children. May those babies rest in peace ❤
Children are not for everyone
I’m 24 and finally coming to terms with that decision myself. I’m sorry you’re going through this. It’s nice to know I’m not alone in this decision
Best to know what works for you than to conform to the expectations of others. In all aspects of life.
@@kaylabeals8597 ❤
Thank you for being responsable and for taking care of yourself. A lot of people still think we women only came to this world to have children.
Some women are single mothers even when they live with their spouses.
The spouses they chose and chose to procreate with.
I am the daughter of one of these women, my father is a stranger to me, what hurts me is that she never left him, after all he is a good man, he has always provided for material things, due to his age and mentality he believes this is the task of a father and husband
@@candicane1 yes because men hav e absolutely zero accountability in anything ever
@@n9mone Sure they do but it's a fact that it is important to pick a man (or woman) carefully.
Thisssss
😮
This is just absolutely heartbreaking. Carol was exhausted, malnourished, overworked and suffering! I wish someone had recognized her pain and struggle. This didn't have to happen.
People recognized it, but they just turned a blind eye to it.
@@teinetoa0416 very true - her friends/neighbors/mom said she looked so tired and wasn’t being herself - why didn’t they help her but cried after saying, oh, if only she had asked for help.
True. @@teinetoa0416
“I knew she was sick; I knew there was something wrong with her…”
Yeah- it’s called having 3 babies in 3 years. Anyone who has not done it, has no idea how hard it is.
thank you!
Then stop having kids. It's not an obligation to have 3 kids in 3 years when she clearly couldn't handle it
@@aquarius2821Exactly! Prople out there mindlessly popping out kid after kid like animals. Seems like family planning is unheard of...on 2023 smh.
@aquarius2821 you could say the same in poor countries. However, they still continue to breed like rabbits, and then adverts come up asking can we donate. As the children are malnourished or something else, heartbreaking.. why not donate protection..ie condoms etc.
Dam right.....she needed someone to help her.
In African cultures we don't see postpartum often because women aren't left alone after childbirth. They move back in with their parents or have a female relative who most often has had children before.
That's a beautiful thing. I didn't have much support after my babies were born I had 4. But mine were many many years apart and that helped me not feel overloaded. Not everyone is so lucky. America babies being born is seen as no big deal and just get back to life ASAP.
Oh and I did breastfeed all of mine but my 1st one I didn't know how if not for formula he would have starved. I was thankful for formula then, but after him I never allowed a bottle in my home again. I didn't want to rely on it I wanted to figure it out and did. Tell me more about your culture. What part of Africa are you in?
Back as a kid I had a pen pal Kojo Tanner no idea can't really remember where he was what part we wrote one another for 2 years and then I lost touch with him. Always wondered what happened to him. Was so neat to hear from him and learn about Africa.
This! ❤
This is far from the truth, we are least likely helped than any race on the planet
In America unfortunately there's no support systems and no laws that forces father's to be involved.
The levels of misogyny and ignorance are overwhelming in this case. Absolutely tragic. I hope there are appeals. Many blessings of compassion and understanding.
Her appeal was denied
In this case she and her husband look some kind of bad and evil,
"She was a better wife than I was a husband". You got that right.
He went to work to house, clothe, and feed his family.
Maybe his story will help someone or already has. He's got a great burden to carry. Hindsight is always 20/20. Ugh.
@@globalwarmhugs7741 and? People who work are still husbands/wives/parents. You don’t understand how a partnership works if you don’t understand this. Going to work does not mean you don’t have a responsibility to be there emotionally for your family.
@@globalwarmhugs7741 not enough
Geez of course he now fully blames himself, that’s part of moaning. He is not to blame! Even if he was to come home and help when left alone the tragedy would still have happened. The problem is the postpartum psychosis not him. The solution is to separate the mother from child. The psychosis is not triggered by the partner not being involved it’s just side effects of pregnancy and birth. Pregnancy sucks and the final result is a sucky birth too
Anyone notice when the husband was describing the dynamics of the home and how much Carol had to do at home it's like it finally hit him.......just how difficult it must have been for her doing 95% (most likely loo%) of the home care and child care by herself. He had to take his hat off, scratch his heat and look around with "ohh damn" look! He didn't help her at all!
Yup, he feels guilty.
And it’s very important to realise it does not manifest the same way in every individual, but yes it is frightening, even terrifying to the mother who is a loving, giving mother . It doesn’t manifest like depression we all experience and it’s completely different!
Yup and 3 kids in 2.5 years was just too intense. I had my first two kids 22 months apart which was tough but i knew I wanted a third...however i knew also I had to give myself a few years break before the third. It was all so much for that woman.
This is part of Spanish culture. He is from a different world than Carol was. Load mom up with kids n leave to work five hours a day provide bare minimum n blame wife for the rest. Men don’t do housework, cooking or rear children in any Spanish home. They are stuck in the 50’s. U notice how close in age the babies were. “Dad” spoke as if Carol was a friend or an acquaintance not a wife
😢
I am 37 weeks pregnant and I have had several conversations with my husband about the importance of mental health after I give birth and that I give him permission to send me somewhere if there are any concerns. I would rather be away for a few days, weeks, or months to get better than have all of our lives ruined because I’ve harmed myself or the baby. I made him promise me to take it seriously.
Same I had my baby 6 weeks ago and I talked to my partner about what to look for and signs. Plus I already have a 3 year old.
Harm yourself before the baby please .
Love this. This is a conversation I plan on having with my future husband.
How are you doing now?
My baby is now 7 weeks old and I’ve had no issues. I was hormonal at first and would cry easily for like a week, which is totally normal!
I can’t stop thinking how all of this could have been avoided if he would have hugged her and said “I got this honey, go relax and I’ll look after them now”
I agree, but most Mexican men think the house work, taking care of children, cooking, & sex is the woman's job. They come home, drink, sit on their rears & do nothing else.
It might have helped, but this is primarily on Carol. He, like most busy husbands, could not have imagined their wife would feverishly stab all three baby girls to death before he returned home…or grandma called back/stop by. 😢
@@leannemo7382it’s people with your mindset that are the problem. He could tell something was wrong, you can wish you’d have helped more all you want but the reality is women need more help! I have one baby and it’s tough with her so I couldn’t imagine having two more all that young man. Men need to step up, period!
Unfortunately while that may have helped it may not have been enough. It is also important for them to get professional help.
Yes, this dad and dads everywhere need to step up. Unfortunately post-partum psychosis isn't necessarily 'fixed' with just support. Sleep deprivation can worsen things and trigger psychotic episodes but true psychosis is much more complicated. This does not excuse dads from not stepping in, but it highlights the importance of education about post-partum psychosis and the need to look for warning signs and act quickly by getting professionals involved when symptoms are present.
I was hospitalised with postpartum psychosis after the birth of my 3rd child. I had very intrusive thoughts of hanging my children by ropes off the side of a light house, decapitating them with shopping trolleys. I started seeing shadows or beings on the walls of my home, I often fantasized about killing myself.
I thank the Lord my family noticed something was wrong and had me hospitalised.. every day I am sooo thankful to be here, healthy, and with all three of my amazing little humans
Wow that's terrible must of been awful for you,glad you got help
Thank goodness the hospital cared for you adequately. Too many do not get the care they desperately need. Sad.
@@deepthoughtswithjessica absolutely. I wish postpartum psychosis was spoken about more. I'm sure after the birth of my second child I had undiagnosed postpartum depression, but I kept that to myself as I struggled with infertility for 8 years after the birth of my first daughter. I didn't want to seem ungrateful for the blessing I was given so I never spoke on it. With my third daughters birth it was considered a category one emergency cesarean, I was put to sleep, started vomiting and it went back into my lungs, they had trouble intubating me, baby was born unalive and brought back. When I woke up I heard the nurse in recovery speaking to another about how they would have to tell my family what happened, and I assumed my baby had died. Despite that, I didn't bond with her instantly, I looked at her and felt nothing. I cared for her basic needs but I didn't play with her, hug her, kiss her. I felt so disassociated from her and from my life. It was like watching a movie play out before me but my mind saw everything from a distance, like none of it was real. Then I started having the nightmares, the intrusive thoughts, seeing images. I thought at that moment I was being spiritually attacked. If hear tapping on the walls, I thought my girls were evil. All of them but one.
I'm so thankful everyday that I was able to be helped because many woman aren't and they and their families and their little ones pay the ultimate price. Its such an incredibly dangerous Illness, it needs to be spoken of more.
Check out Jerry Marzinsky, Engineering Mental Sanity. What he found as a pyschiatrist in some of the most challenging places in the country, changes your views on sanity forever. No, it's not a "chemical imbalance" because there is no "balance" that they know of. It has a much deeper cause.
I am so sorry you went through that. I experienced postpartum depression and thank God my son's father did 90% of the work because I felt so detached and like I was a bad mother for feeling like that. He was the one who got up to take care of our son all night long. I can't imagine how bad it could have gotten since I was too ashamed to ask for help if he didn't take over
Women when they have babies, are forgotten as people, as individuals.
This is a massive reason to so many young mothers suffering.
And we need to be talking about how young mothers and fathers treat sex like a game! Because with sex comes a baby! Young or not, married or not. If you’re being intimate you are likely to get pregnant, that’s nature. Babies don’t just appear in the world.
@@JESUSLOVESYOU219 blame sexual revolution for that, because America has rejected the nuclear family related to conservatism in exchange for debauchery of hedonism
I feel nothing but deep sympathy and empathy with women who are in this horrible situation. The voice mails to mum were absolutely heartbreaking. You can hear a woman who is in deep distress, who is in absolute distress. She needed help, and she didnt get it in time to save her beautiful babies, but even after that tragedy happened, she still needed help, not punishment. She was in an emergency situation and she was not heard.
I don't know if I could recover from hearing my daughter call me for help like that and I didn't get the messages until it was too late 😭😭😭 I'd die right where I stood
@@purplemonkey1890I know 😕
@@lindadobberstein2035
Many times, we are extra quick to judge a situation we are not in, even if it is/was a similar one.
In her situation, it could have been where the person she could always rely on for immediate emotional aid is her mum.
How many kids did she pop out after suffering it the first time?
@@williamparker7025 Just stop!!You REALLY need to educate yourself man, stop making yourself look like a fool!!! Here you go: Depression is characterised by a sad, hopeless mood, lack of energy, loss of interest in activities, and other symptoms. Psychosis causes hallucinations, delusions, and disordered thinking and speaking.
This is what happens when you hide at work to avoid the shared responsibility of helping with your own children’s rearing, and thinking that because you pay all the bills and work 40+ hours a week excludes you from all responsibility regarding your kids. Too many fathers couldn’t even tell you their children’s birthdays, allergies, pediatricians name, shoe/diaper size… I feel so deeply for any women going through it alone , especially the ones who don’t have to because they basically have a glorified roommate instead of a unreliable husband/partner aka the married single mothers 💯
I couldn’t agree more. And it’s hard enough to be basically a single mother of 1 baby living with a “roommate” but she had 3 babies 13-14 months apart. I wish they would swap places for a month. Maybe then he would realise that he works 8 hours a day and she works non stop
Oh my goodness, yes!!!
This unfortunately touched a nerve because I know what that life is like...
How do you pump a woman with post partum full of three babies in less than three years?
@@cnmbnm174 I'm sure he expected dinner on the table and all his laundry done too
@@MedicalAutonomyProjectexactly
I had postpartum after my daughter was born. It’s truly awful. Your body is trying to recover from the hormones and the overwhelming pain of giving birth. I called my doctors office to ask for help. The doctor wasn’t concerned about what was happening, but thankfully the nurse stepped in and got me on medication right away.
OMG her husband INFURIATES me. So while she was having a meltdown (at 53:05) he decided to work on his car outside?!? And then left?!? I have a feeling that he did not even call her mom. Also even if he did, what good would that do? That's just him putting the responsibility onto yet another woman instead of putting on his big boy pants and helping his wife with HIS children.
Yep, thank you!
Agreeed
It's no wonder she finally snapped.
She quite obviously could not cope with the three little ones and her husband should have got immediate help. To not get up at night and help with crying children, is a very old fashioned way of thinking. Yes, he had to work, but she was working caring for them and studying! Raising children is a two way commitment!
The system didn’t fail her. Her husband did😢
I have schizophrenia and suffered seven years of psychosis. It was hellishly bad and I acted in ways I never would have dreamt of prior to psychosis. People who have never been through it have no idea how horrendous it can be. Compassion is needed.
Our adult son has been in psychosis for several years now. I have a few uncles that have schizophrenia and bipolar runs in family as well. Our son started self medicated in his teens which lead to worsen mental health. Hearing voices, laughing for no reason, etc. Trying different medications but it’s such a cycle. How did you get well if you don’t mind sharing?
@@KYhomes4u I'm sorry your family has to deal with mental illness. It runs in my family too. I was on a med that didn't work for a long time, I was forced onto it and didn't think I was sick. I finally got a med change to Invega and that works very well. Hoping I can stay on it as it raises my prolactin. Everyone is different, I hope he finds the right med for him. It's tough, I wish you all luck 🤞
Stop demonizing mental illness this is the reason why Help is Soo bad.
Because of Demonization.
the rosary helps🙏@@KYhomes4u
I suffered postpartum with my second child and my husband immediately picked up on something being wrong and made me seek help
Every person in her life that said “she was acting weird.” “She was saying she was so tired” “her husband didn’t help around the house” should be ashamed of themselves!! WHY did they not help her??? Why not go to her house and watch the kids and tell her to GO SLEEP?? And that Prosecutor needs to be FIRED for saying she has no sympathy for people who kill their kids. She talks like she doesn’t believe in mental illness and it’s heartbreaking knowing how Carol kept BEGGING for help and nobody who states they love her didn’t help!!! And to hear she is confused during a trial and is having an emotional breakdown in court while the judge ignores her mental state?? That is telling of how she has gotten NO mental help while in prison
On the other hand small children nap a lot. That’s when you drop everything and nap too but some women are too hard on themselves.
I hear you, truly! However, unfortunately, part of this horrible disease- the mum often CAN'T sleep meaning even if she DID get GIVEN chances to sleep, they just can't. And sleep deprivation is literally used as a TORTURE tactic. Now that says alot!! Sad, tragic, no matter how you look at it . . .
A mae precisa ter mais ajuda da familja governo etc. Eu tive doa meus pais. E coloquei em creche desde os 9 meses. Mesmo assim tive uma crise de extress no segundo filho. Nao é facile cada vez te cobram.mais
Right on... I only have one son but when he gets married... I will treat his wife as my own... I won't be the overbearing mother in law and I'll let them raise their family as they see fit... but I'll be there for support... to offer kid free weekends/date nights or for them to just catch up on sleep... whatever is needed!! Everyone failed Carol... this is so heartbreaking
That Prosecutor was a piece of work - no empathy!
Once I saw a malnourished dog eat its puppies. We saved one, which she took good care of once she was fed. Its a primative survival mechanism that should'nt be ignored. It was horrifying, but made me realize how important caring for mothers is.
Cats will do the same thing. They chew the umbilical cord into the stomach. We kind of do the same when we think of pulling the plug if people can't act the way we think is normal anymore, and we do it to "end their suffering". People's minds are a dangerous and mysterious place
A lot of animals do the same thing.
Many marsupials, if they are running from predators, will push their babies out of their pouches and abandon them.
I am 45 years old and made a choice not to have children. I have suffered from crippling anxiety and depression my entire life. I knew early on that having children would be a momentous task and I had no family support network. I knew emotionally I would not be able to do it. The amount of effort it would take to raise decent human beings was way more than I could handle.
imo you are to be applauded for making that choice. You did good. Really. I hope you are doing okay. One can be happy without one’s own kids. There are many out there who need a friend, a mentor. You do what you gotta do.
I was in the same position as you. I knew motherhood was not something could handle, so I made the choice to be childless. My depression is enough on my plate to deal with. I was always told I would change my mind, you could not possibly not want children. That was so hurtful to hear that , yet I knew I was right in my decision. People need to stop their mouths and just accept the truth that some women do not want to walk that road, whatever the reasons. We have that right.
im much younger than you but i am making the same choice, I have a history of depression, anxiety and suicidal thoughts, a pregnancy would ruin my life and mental health
I just commented the same thing. I can't take care of myself some days.
When ever i hear men say "as a woman, you 'just' need to have the baby and take care of it.." ... This is the video i wanna show to them. Women arent just machines where the baby pops out, we All have a lot to learn still. Be gratefull to youre wifes and the mothers of youre children. Giving birth is hard, but that really just the first step on long and hard journey. Parenthood is meant as a teamwork. This alone can save lives.
I agree.
This is true, and one the 101 reasons I NEVER had kids and had an abortion when I needed one (the other time I prayed for a miscarriage and did everything in my power to will it to be, and thankfully, I had a miscarriage). I would never put myself or children through what I’ve been through, a fatherless child with a working Mom. A Latchkey Kid, they called us in the 80s.
I doubt most men are even capable than of understanding.
Especially when men get to walk away so easily.
When I had my first child, my fiance decided that he wanted to be with another woman and he walked away and no one ever held him accountable and he ended up doing the same to the woman he left me for.
Having children from a man who didn't deserve one and postpartum psychosis is the worst.
Amen!
My question is where was the husband? Most women who do this sort of thing statistically before it happened they were doing ALL the childcare, ALL the housework, and this women was even going to school, basically working non stop 24/7, maybe take your kids for a moment? Give her a break? She clearly works way more than him and he couldn’t be bothered? Poor kids, if he would have stepped up, actually thought of someone besides himself things would have been different.
Spot On !! I agree
I believe he acknowledged that when he was reflecting that she was a better wife than he was a husband
@@notheothersarahexactly!
It had to end up the way it did for the husband to realize he should've been a better husband/father. Hope he reflects for the rest of his life.
Yes, he seemed unaware and fairly detached. Having 3 children so quickly, when she had already experienced depression is just reckless.
That father is just as responsible for their children's fate as Carol.
More. I don’t blame her. It’s so heartbreaking and predictable, and it’s not her fault. It’s everyone around her’s fault.
It sounds like he knows that...
I was thinking exactly the same. He gets to live his life.
No one can survive constant sleep deprivation. Rudy was brave to do this documentary cause it did not paint him in a good light. But it is important for men to see that it is not up to your wife to do it all. I thank god every day for my boyfriend because he doesn’t have these toxic masculine ideas. We are 100% 50/50 in fact right now he is home watching the kids while I work. I am impressed he chose to stay at home because I had found them a placement in a good daycare and I said hey don’t feel pressured to stay home they can go to daycare. He is so amazing! Men take care of your women so they can take care of the kids. He cooks he cleans I cook I clean we help each other. It is beautiful
I hope your family would stay healthy and happy ❤
I am shocked nobody brought up Andrea Yates. She absolutely suffered from this as well and the disease killed all 5 of her babies. The justice system needs to educate themselves on this illness. Just tragic
This woman has the exact same look in her eyes that Andrea did, both cases are just heartbreaking.
@@leelee2350yup
Yup
I thought of Andrea when I first seen this.
@@leelee2350they have a very similar look. A look of absolute depletion. Nutritional, physical, mental depletion. I wonder about iron levels in women who suffer from these conditions. Having so many babies close together is hard on the body.
This is so sad. I don't know Carol personally, but I fully believe she didn't want to hurt her babies. Those voicemails at the beginning were a heartfelt cry for help. We need more understanding, compassion, and support for moms before it gets this far. 😢
“I failed Carol” said the lawyer. However, I feel her husband was the one who failed them all: Carol, his daughters & ultimately himself. Such sadness. 😔
Her worthless husband failed her. The Lawyer did Everything he could to help her.
@@brendaarnold8485 SO, SO TRUE. My heart broke when I saw how terribly defeated that lawyer looked when they lost Carol's case. Don't they have jury's in trials in America??
Where was the husband 😢 I’m not even half way through yet.
@@brendaarnold8485!!!!!!!!!!!
I respectfully disagree. Our judicial system and the stigmas surrounding mental illness in this country are what failed her. If carols husband is to blame, so are probably the vast majority of husband's and fathers in the US. Our broken medical and legal systems failed. Letting this woman rot in a jail cell will not stop future infanticide and it will not help educate future fathers and families. It certainly will not help future mothers suffering from this illness come forward to ask for help.
The UNJUST sentencing is the EXACT REASON why people who suffer with mental illness DO NOT typically reach out for help. Shame on Judge Ricardo R. Ocampo as well as Prosecutor Emily Spear for their profound lack of empathy, compassion, and respect for mental illness!
Profound is right!
There was a similar case in South Africa a few years ago, and the judge had the same basic ruling. Seems like this is a rare and tragic enough condition that it's completely taboo to try understand
If anything it should motivate them to get help. It was the best sentencing and I’m so glad she didn’t get a WOKE judge.
80 percent of men who are killers suffer from mental issues and were abused when they were young . Yet they aren't spared .
@@kameko60judges are great
I couldn’t imagine being a mom of 3 under 3, trying to complete school while cooking, cleaning and taking care of child duties. Then on top of all that, not receiving any type of help and being yelled at by my husband to quiet the children when they wake up crying. How can you as a man let your wife, the mother of your children, struggle like that? That poor woman, I’m so sorry those babies ultimately paid the price because this mom didn’t get the help she needed.
This documentary is so eye opening and heart wrenching. I’ve birthed 5 children and never experienced this horrible condition. My eldest daughter will become a mother in January. She has a history of depression and this absolutely petrifies me. Thank you for sharing these heart breaking tragedies so that others can be informed and maybe see the signs and save lives. My heart breaks for each and every precious life lost and every one of these families….
I hope your daughter manages okay,I'd say just keep an eye on her x
Speaking from experience, support her, encourage her, she should avoid too much stress, speak the word of God over her, pray and fast for her if you believe in God as well.
The phrase we failed Carol twice still resounds in my head. Who spoke for Carol: women. Who gave a complete inhumane sentence: a man.
I’ve been taking antidepressants and anti anxiety medication since I tried to kill myself because my postpartum depression, I was lucky my husband brought me to the hospital because he recognized I was not ok. No one can understand deeply what’s going on while episodes of psicosis, I do remember parts and there’re black outs I can’t remember at all.
Carol should be in a mental institution, she doesn’t belong in prison.
There is nowhere near close to adequate mental healthcare in America, unfortunately.
That’s the line that got me too…. We failed her twice…. I feel back in my seat and said “oh wow…”
I agree. It breaks my heart. If her own husband can speak highly about her even after she took their children from him that should have told the courts everything they needed to know
Her lawyer should've pushed for a jury trial
I agree, she should be in a mental hospital, so she can get some help.
I am a new father with my wife. Today my son is 4 months. The winter is my slow season so I was basically able to be here with my wife and son the first 4 months of his life pretty much all day everything. We are a team, and we both work together. As a mother, she has certain roles that only she can do. I tell her daily how amazing of a mother she is and how grateful I am, and how lucky our son is to have such an amazing mother. I always knew she would be a great momma, and its a beautiful thing to watch. We have talks at night and most of the time its me worrying if we’re doing the right thing, hoping I am doing enough, and anxious about what the future holds. They always end with us saying all we can do is our best, and we’re doing it. Being a dad is the best feeling in the world.
Sounds like you are great parents & a great team. All the best to you and your family. 🌸
❤️
I think it's monstrous to convict a mother suffering from post partum psychosis of first degree murder. That's ludicrous. I feel like justice for these beautiful babies is NOT locking their mother away and throwing the key, but it's helping her, getting her the medical, psychological and psychiatric support she desperately needs. Not to mention that treating these women as if they are cold blooded murderers does NOTHING to help with the stigma and give other women strenght to come forward. As a society, we have a long path ahead of us, yet. Seeing a prosecutor fight to put Carol behind bars forever makes me want to weep, and go to her, and grab her by the shoulders, and tell her "don't you get it ? Don't you see ? This is a victim as much as a perpetrator !".
RIP Sophia, Yazmin and Xenia 🤍🤍🤍
but she killed them she should have called 911 think about those poor babies please.
@@VictorMendez-l6ushe wasn't well mentally so decisions aren't being made logically.
@user-ii2uh1xq7b exactly. That's what people are ignoring. She could have called 991 at any moment. The father or even her sister. She failed her kids.
My friend had this happen to her. She called everyone in her family. When they got here the tub was overflowing. She had planned to put the babies in the tub. Thankfully the family showed up and she got psychiatric help.
@@kittyb275 all due respect, you might not be a mental health professional and truly understand what psychosis entails. It's so easy for us to judge, oh she should have done this, or she should have done that. I'm so happy your friend got help in time, that's amazing. But one story isn't the other. What do you think a life sentence does for Carol, or for advocating for women ?
What if a dad did this due to mental illness. Would you have the same opinion?
If your child calls you that many times, pull over the effing bus and answer your phone.
Her mother failed her. Her husband failed her.
She is a victim too. She asked for help and no one helped her. She was sick. We do not take care of mothers.
Same thing I thought... I really didn't like her mother but her daughter phoning and phoning could've been something emergency different than what happened, instead she doesn't answer and he walks out in a mood to then return and the children have passed and she's in a corner trying to take her own life... She reached out and nobody helped her.. rip little angels
True if anyone call u multiple times it is important to answer
The voicemail enraged me. No one calls that many times for no reason. Smh
💯💯💯
The World needs balance. To make Life, life must also end in turn.
Mothers are forgotten as people since they made new life. Its not ok.
This video makes me want to call my mom and thank her. I know she went through a lot with us 3 kids, especially after my dad passed.
Now I understand why my mom put ten years between all the kids
Breaks my heart that this woman didn’t get the help she needed in time.. what an insensitive judge and prosecutor.
Not insensitive. Suppose to she was released, becomes pregnant again, and murders her child again? Everybody would blame the judge for lenient sentencing.
@MidNovembersDreamaugnov you're part of the problem with that approach. People who are psychotic and kill others are let free and found "not criminally responsible," but a woman who is experiencing PPS and loses her mind, should be guilty? Seems fair. Maybe the father should have HELPED her, instead of forcing her to do literally EVERYTHING at home, with zero sleep.
@eileenthombs2075 it's not the husband's fault ! Some people even with full support are still so far gone that it takes PROFESIONALS
@@eileenthombs2075I’ve had to do that, you want to know what never crossed my mind. Stabbing my babies one by one.
congrats you didnt have PPP count yourself lucky@@snicole042
Back in the 50s, my grandma lined my dad and his siblings up and put a gun to them. Her husband was abusive, they both had schizophrenia, and they lived in crippling poverty in an insular community. I don't know how the situation ended peacefully, just that she was in a state hospital for a good time after that, and everyone to this day talks about what a good, wonderful, loving woman she was-- and I believe it, she was just deeply ill.
This is the type of nuance that I really wish more people had.
I am so sorry for what your Grandmother went through.
@@brendaarnold8485 ty for saying so. I've always suspected she had some medical treatment there without consenting
I hate to sound morbid but I feel like I've had my share of problems and others I knew in a hospital program all wanted to off themselves many wanted to do it even more out of guilt if they had kids so I get a little suspicious when people take their kids out to protect them or spare them but don't take themselves out also
@@leahflower9924 I don't think it's morbid, it's necessary conversation. And I'm not sure if she tried to kill herself, the people I could've asked are gone now, but I've wondered if post-natal psychosis had anything to do with it.
That judge is a disgrace! No Justice for anyone in this situation! Thank you for this documentary and bringing more awareness to an awful disorder.
So many people failed this woman. She is a victim too. I felt so taken care of when I was pregnant, but the minute that baby came out, I was on my own.
This. 💯 Everything is “all about the baby” & baby showers & stuff. It’s all fun & games until the sleep deprivation sets in. There’s a reason why they use that as war torture. Having had a brief bout with PPD, I ALWAYS ask new moms how THEY are. & Are they getting enough sleep!?!?
And there’s always the big “happy” kerfuffle after the baby is born. One month later, You’re on your own. THAT is the precise moment new Mom’s need the most support
New Moms need SLEEP. And lots of it.
Babies are real work, like diapers.
Agreed!
I had crippling postpartum depression when I had my daughter nearly 20 years ago. I suffered in silence for five months before I had to face the facts and told my family that I needed help. I cannot imagine what postpartum psychosis must feel like because it was already insanely horrible.
If you have postpartum after the first child that means to stop, these women have children one after another in a short time, they do not give themselves time to recover thats how psychosis happens.
@@VictorMendez-l6ui had postpartum depression with my first baby ( thought of harming him then I wanted to die myself ) I waited 8 years to get pregnant again but the depression came back again I just think some people are prone to it. That being said both my children are okey I controlled myself and I asked for help when I got overwhelmed I took days off asked someone in my family to watch them for me
What is it like? I’ve battled with depression since I was in middle school but I’m not sure if it’s worse with post partum?
God loves you very much, he died for you Only Jesus can take away your sad feelings
talk to him about
It, he loves you very much.
It's true we're not born perfect mothers we have to learn and it can be trying
My heart hurt so much when I heard the phone calls to her mom. We as mothers will always still need our moms.
The prosecutor and the judge got it WRONG! I wish Carol had a jury trial, not a bench trial. I feel like she would have been found not guilty by reason of insanity.
What an absolute travesty of justice. So much evidence that she was not in a sane, rational state of mind at the time of the crime.
But yet many who purposely harm their children, some over years and years, are simply given slaps on the wrists.
1:04:37 she gave up her right to a jury trial :( I wonder why.
Absolutely YES! The judge is a heartless/democrat, idiot.
Exactly, it’s a mental disease. The system failed her and acusases her.
@@Talk2MeNiceguilt maybe
I had postpartum psychosis after my daughter was born. I felt as though I were going mad. It started with me not remembering how to do simple tasks like making a cup of tea and I could no longer finish sentences when I spoke. From then on it just got worse. It was the most frightening thing that I have ever experienced and that is why I was sterilised at age 24 to make sure that I never had another child. Unless you have experienced it you cannot imagine what the madness feels like!
I have experienced it, and it was horrible and so frightening.
Dude literally I hate it so much it makes me feel disabled
It’s sad. I remember family looking at me like I was insane. Looking back I was.
100%
My mother broke my heart shortly after having my first.
"You need to learn how to do things by yourself, because I had to with you." She was a single mom until I was 8, I'm now 30 with three kids 4(July 2019), 3(December 2020), and 20 months(July 2022). It's still like pulling teeth to get anyone in my family involved, and my husband's family couldn't care less if we were alive or dead.
I tried antidepressants once, and within two weeks I was already writing a note, so I refuse any psychoactive medications.
I hope things get better for you. I’m sorry to hear about your family situation. Children are a blessing… things will get better, hang in there ❤️
But why did you decide to have three children then? This is something I don’t get. I’m frightened to have even one child.
Rudy failed her and their kids. What a useless husband thinking that because he works 40 hours per week he should be exempt from caring for his kids. Tradition kills- it’s not unmanly to be an active participant in the lives of your children. She was trying to better all their lives by getting a degree and he didn’t care. Also, having three kids back to back is so dangerous- for mind and body. Unfair to the kids born after the first as they lose out on having a carrier who is in prime health. She didn’t even have time to get healthy and strong again after each pregnancy. Studies show babies born so close together are often not as healthy as babies born with larger gaps between births.
Right? She probably asked him for help so many times and he didn’t care when he should have. He’s the type of guy to make his wife feel horrible for wanting help just because he pays the bills. Tears now but where was he when she was begging for help?
Indeed. To think that because his mum apparently coped doing everything and being a SAHM, that his wife would be exactly the same is sheer ignorance. His wife was born into a modern world with modern problems and it doesn’t take a genius to work out everyone is different and she clearly was struggling. He needs to make it his life mission to teach other men to watch out for the signs and to help out as it takes two to create life.. and takes two to nourish that life. Women can’t do it all alone. Screw tradition and thinking that all women can cope well with motherhood, especially with three kids under three.
i think society as a whole failed this family. rudy did what he did because society has made these unreasonable gender roles. it’d be helpful if we all recognised that having a family is a complete team effort not just u do this and i do that.
@whitneyanders5945, he didn't fail them. This was an adjustment period for the entire family, him included. Everyone could have benefited from additional support. Any woman DUMB ENOUGH to have back to back pregnancies , probably doesn't realize the body needs at LEAST a full 18 months to recover from all the physical and hormonal disruptions of pregnancy and more if you're breastfeeding. The mental and emotional changes can take even longer. Stop believing that you MUST have multiple pregnancies back to back in order to fulfill your "womanly purpose ".
@jsmith5509 " any woman dumb enough" are you serious? It takes two to tango and him getting mad at her because one of THEIR baby's wad keeping him awake at night leads me to believe he may have given her a hard time if she refused sex!! Your comment is ignorant 😡
I never had a problem until my 4 son was born. I was not depressed felt fine did not feel overwhelmed. Suddenly I started having weird thoughts about hurting my child. Like voices in my brain telling me to drown him break his arm. However, when I got those thoughts, I would put my child someplace safe and go outside until it stopped. I remember my mom telling me she suffered from Post partum psychosis, so I knew what was happening. I was afraid to tell anyone about it for fear my child would be takin away from me. Heath care and hospitals need to address this situation. Moms need to be told what can happen and how to deal with it. Mostly it's never talked about.
Could be something as ‘simple’ (by which I mean treatable and testable) thyroid illness, which can cause psychosis. Many hormonal disorders cause ‘psychiatric’ symptoms. I believe there’s no difference between so called mental illness and physical. The mental illness is still physical! It’s a bad misnomer.
This is a scary situation 😢
So true postpartum depression talk about but not postpartum psychosis.
Men have the voices in their head to you know what women and others . Yet most men dont do it . Dont charge men for doing it
When I was 20 I had my second child. My daughter was only 11 months. I had severe postpartum and my husband left me for it. I begged him to help me and he wouldn’t. Everything these women said is like ptsd for me! I had never heard of it and I wasn’t informed postpartum existed. I thought if I told someone my intrusive thoughts I would lose everything. Thank god my son is still here. 18 now and healthy. This is something that needs to be talked about more. Our mid wife’s and obs need to be talking to us more about.
Women are purposely not taught or caustion about all the life alternating changes and pain associated with giving birth. That's why. Even a female nurse came out and confessed this, claiming that the patriarchy were afraid less women would give birth which is why they're hardly taught.
This video really needs to explain the full evil of psychosis. The thing about psychosis is you have completely lost touch with reality. That means things like calling 911 or a husband dont exist anymore. She was breaking with reality and the last rational thought her brain was hanging on to was "call mom" because thats what we have done since childhood when we are scared. Her desperate phonecalls were the last part of her hanging on till finally that broke.
Agree with you, I think she’d lost the capacity to think clearly and call 911 etc.
This comment right here. I couldnt remember anything else. I didn't even know I had a family but luckily neighbors down the street took me in. I was naked and trying to get into every house thinking it was mine.
Exactly. People say, "when her mom didn't answer, why didn't she try someone else?" You describe it perfectly - she reverted back to the base instinct to reach for her own mother. There was no rationality to think she should or even could reach out to anyone else. She could have even been having paranoia or delusions that made her think anyone other than her mother was unsafe or out to hurt her.
Normal people don’t have much experience with psychosis and hard to wrap your head around it if you’ve never had mental health issues.
Think God my mom was right there with me otherwise, I know it would have been a different story for me. Thank you Mom ❤
The level of IGNORANCE about mental illness demonstrated by the JUDGE and the LAWYER (PROSECUTER) is appalling! WOW! Andrea Yates was acquitted and went into a mental hospital; similar happen for the blonde lady in the 80's.... Are you telling me that in 2014 we are going backwards??!?! With all the breakthroughs and advancements in medicine and neuroscience?!?!
Seriously! The utter IGNORANCE of both the judge and prosecutor! She is very obviously mentally ill - how could they not see that?! I’m disgusted .. but I have nothing but empathy and compassion for carol❤
@@jackieserritella4885yup
Clearly no advancement in mental health areas
Women STILL have no paid maternity leave in 2023 for God’s sake and now in many, many states, no abortion no matter what.
I think it’s a Catch 22. On one end, yes, there are advancements and more knowledge about mental health. On the other hand, that same awareness of these issues is exactly the reason why she should not have continued to have these babies back to back to back.
I was in hospital for 3 nights with my son, in a room with 3 other mothers and babies. I didn't get any sleep as nobody takes the babies away for the night or at least a few hours. I was so exhausted and upset, I wished I would have never had a baby. New mums need support and rest.
i knew i never wamted a baby they arent blessings at all more like lessons
I’m sure her husband feels so much regrets about all of this. Everyone failed her. Feel so sorry 😢
Men are not like women.
Alot of men feel no regrets
He should feel guilty, because he IS, but I doubt that he feels any guilt. I bet he's already with a new woman.
He’s fine
I hope so. He offered her zero help despite knowing she struggled. He didn't deserve to lose his children, but he deserves to know how he failed them and their mother.
Wow. These babies were pretty close in age. It seems like her postpartum symptoms could've been so intense because she had them close together. Not to mention she had to balance her schoolwork and maintain a household as well. I don't have children, so I don't know what this is like, but this definitely makes me want to watch closely for signs of ppd in women I know 😢. This is so sad.
Even thyroid disorder can cause psychosis. And doctors are so useless and reluctant to test properly, or don’t even know how to. Many engage in medical gaslighting regularly.
Help people when they need some help. Please. 😊❤
I had it horribly with no support,now when I see a Mum struggling in public I tell her she's doing great.
As a mother of 5 including twins. I went through all of this, i was probably on the brink of a manic, or psychotic episode. I wanted to die. 😢 It was the hardest thing i ever been through and im still going through it. ❤ Im doing a lot better now but thise days looking back break my heart. Instead of warm memories when i see a photo from a few years ago, i can hardly look because the pain is too great. Then i fell guilty that ive made mistakes and i think of myself as a bad mom. It's a horrible cycle😢
I completely get how you feel 😢
So then why did you decide to have all those kids then?
That prosecution lawyer is a complete and utter idiot to even entertain the idea that she planned any of it. What an odious person. I am childfree for many reasons but also because I KNOW I would get PPD even in the best case scenario, and PPP isn't something I want to risk. My heart goes out to all women who have suffered with this.
That's really sad for you that you have such a fear of something that is so rare and even more so to the severity of this case that you won't risk having kids. Do you realize that you literally have a 99.999999% chance of this not being an issue. It's probably even higher than that percentage.
@@lindseymiller8165i’m assuming she already struggles with a lot of mental health issues and that’s why she’s so sure she’d get it. At least that’s why I think I would.
Same girl
@@lindseymiller8165What’s sad is doubting her choice. Many women know they are high risk for PPD and PPP and choose wisely not to have kids. Stop questioning them, it’s part of the problem. What do you lose from her not having kids?
This is similar to the more recent case of Lindsay Clancy. Killing her 3 young children and suffering from major PPP. The state or prosecutor says she planned it all before doing it. Even though there is documentation of doctor and treatment visits. It’s crazy, they just don’t want to go out of their way to try to help or fix this horrible mental health issue. Almost as if they don’t think it’s real. It’s nuts…. and can happen to any women. Scary.
My sister had postpartum depression with her first child. I lived with her and her husband then. I was 13 and I feltvso sad for her. She cried about everything. Once she cried because she didn't pack me a school lunch. I think me being there helped a lot. After school I spent a lot of time with my little niece and I would calm her down easier than my sister could The baby obviously were distressed because her mother was distressed. My mother eventually told her it was "matirnity blues", as my mom called it. She had two more children with big gaps inbetween . I can't remember any doctor ever treating her or even explaining it to her.
❤I live in a multi generation family home. With 4 generations. My grandparents, my mom and dad, my siblings, my husband and my children. My mom and husband saved me when i was pregnant and healing postpartum. My Mom did all the grocery shopping and cooking every meal and dishes, and laundry. My mom told me my only job was to take care of myself and breastfeed my baby. My husband changed diapers and cared for our baby for hours after work so i could take a bath and get a break. My culture is different, I live in the USA and I'm white, so people usually judge me for living at home with my parents but they don't understand how helpful it is to have my mom help me become a Mother. ❤❤❤❤❤
My mom also stays up at night with me when I emotionally break down. It's nice that my mom, grandma, husband and my sisters are always there to hold my babies when i need help. I couldnt imagine living alone.
thanks for sharing this. It’s important.
Ur blessed . Some mothers have no one
My Aunt Catherine put her less than 1 month old baby on the fire escape in Brooklyn, NY in 1947. She then turned on all the gas burners on the stove and the oven without lighting them. She died, my cousin, Eileen, survived. My Aunt could’ve inadvertently blown up the whole block, as they were row houses. Thankfully that didn’t happen. She was diagnosed with post partum psychosis…possibly posthumously. Sorry to see mothers still don’t get the lifesaving help needed.
That's so sad 😢
22 years ago after a scary high risk pregnancy I gave birth to a healthy and long (22.5 inches) son. A few days after we came home from the hospital I knew what I was feeling wasn’t the baby blues but I was scared to say anything because I feared judgment and being called crazy. I hid it well from my husband and even my mom but I couldn’t fool my mother in law. She sat started coming over a few days a week for a few hours to give me a break and encouraged me to talk to my husband. My mother in law was by my side when I told him and I immediately got help for PPD. I kept saying that I love my son but I don’t like him and I felt awful for feeling that way. What mother doesn’t like her kid?! The baby had colic and I thought he hated me. All of these thoughts ran through my head and the guilt piled on and I felt like I didn’t deserve my son. I wanted to leave so my husband could find a better mother for my son. I don’t wish this on anyone and my heart goes out to all mom’s who have been through it.
You are not alone.. my uncertainty begain the day I brought him home. I felt like I had stolen him from the hospital and that the cops could come to arrest me and take him away from me. During the day I would search areas out around my home that I could hide him from the cops when they may show up to look for him...
I got better but the cloud that kept me in doubt didn't leave until he turned one.
A young mother in my city had postpartum psychosis, so she killed her four month infant by drowning him and hung herself to death.😢
I am on my own recovery journey with postpartum psychosis. I am so grateful that my husband prompted me to go to my doctor. It was terrifying when it led to an immediate inpatient stay. I had to advocate hard as a breastfeeding individual. But I was able to get on medications for my situation. My life has improved immensely since.
I can do hard things
When did you notice?
If you’re a young mom reading this, please ask for help. Let someone know you’re feeling differently, ask for help. You’re so loved 💗💕💗
I’m currently pregnant and this has always been my greatest fear and why when I was younger I didn’t want children.
Thankfully, I asked for help before I lost the ability to ask, I called social services and told my health visitor. I was placed in a psychiatric hospital I had no family support or partner. They placed my child in respite care and had me sign a paper. He was adopted without me being aware of what was happening. I have watched this film and the pain I have endured for 2 decades could havesomehow impossibly been worse. God help this woman. I would never have signed my child away just as she would have never killed her children.
Adoption is a long process especially by social services. You had to of known. Either that or you signed your rights away.
There is an episode of Were all Insane and a woman talks about her post partum OCD. And her biggest fear was them taking her baby.. so sorry that happened to you
NEVER GO THRU SOCIAL SERVICES
I am sorry this happened to you. Hopefully your son is still alive for you to see again someday. I know this is not what you plan to happen but after watching this, I hope you feel reassured that you made the right decision.
I am so very, VERY sorry. I literally had just commented how women are so afraid to seek help any more bc their children are removed from them so we suffer in silence with SO MANY situations
It's horrifying. We go to family, they're incapable, disinterested, not willing or don't care. We go to local authorities and they take our kids. We go to Drs they report you like you're crazy. Where do we turn? To one another, some of us can.
I'm gracious I never experienced anything this drastic, but I did have some sort of episode after my 2nd child. No fear of harming her but some sort of repeat thoughts that just wouldn't stop and some kind of electrical sensation down my spine and neck I couldn't shake I don't know what it was from but it took ssri to get it to stop and then I weaned off them so fast bc they made my anxiety HORROBLE. Never have taken them again. Began working with a psychiatrist to help me learn techniques for my mind and body, rather than rely on a pill I A, couldn't afford really and B, didn't want side effects of.
I hurt and ache for any momma whose ever had her child removed from her. I nearly don't care what a woman is going through there is almost always a better way to help them BOTH. Momma and baby. Just takes some time and care, money and love. Money is what most fall short on for helping others.
Women should be able to seek out help freely without any fear of their child being removed. No matter WHAT the situation. And feel safe in knowing there will be help for she and her children, TOGETHER. If into that help, the child isn't thriving and mother isn't able to care for her child, MAYBE THEN, maybe then removal should be thought of.
But, most often, if they're BOTH OR ALL loved and taught, cared for and treated (if medical issues are present) the family can recover.
I'm so very sorry for you. I am. Mother to mother, I am sending you love.
I had post partum depression with my first daughter. I was isolated from daily due to distance, crying all the time, I wanted to hurt myself and my baby. It was no joke. It’s real !
The fact that she was not using contraception despite obviously struggling with maternity shows she was already depressed. My friend got pregnant twice because she was too depressed to even get contraceptives and the husband was a good for nothing.
A lot of women are told that breastfeeding is effective contraceptive, but sometimes its really not.
When my kids were babies/toddlers at their checkups, the first thing the dr. would ask was, "How are you feeling? How is the family doing" etc. This was before those types of questions were required like they are now. He was awesome.
I’m so glad this issue is being given attention. I had a friend in college who had a child temporarily removed from the home due to postpartum psychosis. It’s a very serious issue and too many cases seem to be brushed under the rug.
My sister went into psychosis adter she had her son. We helped her through it. When she had her daughter at the end of, September, I vowed to help her as much as I can to help prevent it. She's a strong woman and incredible mom and I'm super proud of her!
@educational1651 I'm so sorry. I know what it's like. I ended up in a facility for 2 weeks when my 2nd was 4 months old and my family didn't help me. My neighbor did though and I thank God for her. She was so good with me and my 2 kids. I'm sorry you didn't have anyone there to help. That makes my heart hurt for you. 😢
Everyone, from her mother to her husband, failed this poor woman.
I know the system was not good. But why did she have so many children so quickly? Not responsible for herself or the children even if she was well mentally. How much love and attention can she give each of them?
@@minmin-bk1gn She was ill, in her head.
Who knows why she wanted kids, maybe because they would be nice to her? Why do hoarders fill every nook and cranny with stuff and toys and magazines?
Why do OCD-people clean everything? Because they feel like they have to.
Lack of family planning. I think there are cultural issues, too.
I got diagnosed with postpartum depression and i gotten the support i needed and the medicine i needed to make it stable. I'm advocating for all the women who has gone through this. It's not an easy road to go on.
This husband should be on trial! 3 babies in less than 3 years would break anyone. Unless. You have a lot of help. What is wrong here. My heart breaks for the babies and her family
I dealt with ppd and thankfully my partners helped. But as a mother to a boy. We also need to teach our sons that they need to be there for their partners. It’s fundamental that they participate when a child is born.
I was SO sick before and after my son't birth. I was SO blessed to have many people to help.
We also decided that one pregnancy is enough... We only have one child, and I am SUPER happy and healthy now.
@@helenduplessis4166 My sister went through the same thing she had one child and stopped, its wonderful you realized what you could handle.
That's one reason I'm a childfree woman. I knew I wouldn't be able to deal with PPD, isolation with child[ren], and financial bombardment, to just name a few. No, just no. It's a horror. I'm surprised anyone can handle motherhood in today's isolation society.
As a mother that suffered from postpartum psychosis this hit really close to home. I tried to commit suicide twice. Once when my son was a baby and they had to revive me and I stayed in ICU for a month before going to the psych hospital for a while. The next time was about 6 months later and only survived because the rope broke from my weight even though I did everything else right. I guess it was some sort of divine intervention. Fortunately I knew I was very ill because I've been mentally ill my whole life although not to the point of pyschosis but I knew that I wasnt safe for him to he around so I moved out from our apartment with him and his dad. Fortunately everything is okay now. Me and his dad are still together. My son is now 9 and in 4th grade and is healthy. I still have my struggles but you can never understand what these women are going through unless you've dealt with psychosis yourself or been close with someone who has. You no longer live in reality therefore you cannot make sane decisions. I hope we can study this more and stop prosecuting these women for first degree murder when they need mental health help instead. Really their loved ones need to be looking out for signs ahead of time and let their doctor know because this is serious and lives are at risk. I know I'm one of the lucky ones and thats only because I've spent so much of my life in mental health care so I knew something was wrong and I wasnt safe to be around my son. We need to bring awareness to this!
Wow Rudy. 🙄
Wow.
Being a parent is so much more than just showing up.
Glad that he realized his mistakes, it's just a tragedy that it was too late.
💜
He should have taken over the baby duties 🍼 for a whole week just to give her some peace, Love and little bit of freedom to be herself.
😊🩷
Thank you for this. I was alone living in a foreign country away from my family. I gave birth to 2 boys 20 months apart, had to return back to work with minimum rest. I don't think my husband knows any of my pains I went through even now.
I developed postpartum OCD after my second child was born. It was pretty unbearable. I told my OB that I was getting to the point where I wasn’t leaving the house. She put me on an SSRI and that did help. But sadly the anxiety never left me and the OCD is not as bad as it was but it’s still there and probably always will be. My daughter (second child) who is now 15, was diagnosed with OCD when she was 9 years old.
I’m really glad these things are being talked about more but we still have a long way to go. This is such a tragic story 💔
As much as I would rather both you and your daughter simply NOT have to deal with that, I can’t help but think that you experiencing OCD first probably paved the way for you to be so much more helpful, compassionate, and empathetic towards your daughter’s experience of OCD, than if you’d never gone through it ❤️🩹💖
I guess what I’m saying is: she’s lucky to have you, and hopefully some good has come - or will come - out of such a difficult experience. Keep going!!
Husbands should get off work half day's six to eight weeks ....😮😢❤❤❤
@@juicyjules7409they helped me too on anexiety but my doctor changed me them for SNRI and they made me more active
I have suffered with OCD all of my life. Whenever I was going through an especially stressful time, my OCD dramatically increased. I was first diagnosed with it at about 10 years old. I did not end up having children for numerous reasons, but one of the main reasons I felt hesitant to do so, stemmed from knowing that I would most likely become overwhelmed with worry about the child and never stop feeling overwhelming anxiety. I feel for you so much. The constant checking on things is just something I didn't think I would have handled well at all. You cannot get water from an empty cup. Antidepressants helped about 60%, but I think once your brain gets into that loop of not being sure, etc., it truly can easily take over your life. Thank you for sharing your story. 💗
This is absolutely gut wrenching. Listening to her calls to her mother….wow. I remember the early days of motherhood. It is no joke. Your emotions are everywhere. Prayers for this family.
My sister took her life after developing postpartum depression and then postpartum psychosis. She was living in another state away from all of us, and after her second baby she said she didn’t feel like she ever bonded with them. Our mom cut off contact with her and blocked her on all social media after she expressed how she was feeling and stated she didn’t want her kids. She took an entire bottle of Tylenol the next day.
I wish I’d done more and I miss her everyday. She wasn’t responding to my messages, but I should have driven out to her and helped her. Postpartum depression is no joke. It needs to be taken seriously.
I am 32 weeks pregnant with my first and feeling very depressed. I am so worried I might not bond with my baby and don’t really know what to do 😔
I’m so sorry for your loss , love ❤️🩹 sending love and healing prayers your way. Also I’m sorry you’re stressed about your own pregnancy experience :( nowadays there are functional medicine practitioners who help with hormone balancing post pregnancy, maybe this is something you can explore , for peace of mind at least.
@@jayterra2060thank you so much. I’m hoping for the best.
Get help of you need to please
@@jsnsjjjss “get help” thanks that’s super helpful to say to someone who is pregnant. I had no idea therapists existed.
@CrimsonRose29 the fact that you are worried about being able to bond with your little one is a good sign ❤ Your original comment was two months ago so at this point maybe you have already welcomed your little one? Give yourself grace and just know that parenthood, motherhood especially, is one of the hardest things to ever experience. It’s HARD, so when it gets tough and you think it’s just you, remember this- it’s NOT JUST YOU ❤and there are people who can help 💕
I am a mother. And I GET IT. New mothers, mothers period need villages! They need support, because this HERE?! Motherhood is beautiful AND vicious.
I’m going to say this: MEN NEED TO HELP. This job is HARD.
Mom's need to be provided with info about post partum depression at the time of baby's birth & throughout the child's young lives. Pediatricians, doctors, etc should all be involved. This isn't a modern phenomenon, but instead of seeing it for the mental illness it is, society's tendency to demonize the mother, & ignore the illness, isn't constructive in helping in the prevention of future tragedies.
The same education that goes into nutrition needs to address emotional health of a mother...
Actually, the information needs to be given before conception if possible. It commonly occurs after having 2 kids close together. I knew a professional who studied it. Having children farther apart may help, along with making an educated choice about one's ability and finances to raise a child or children. More thought needs to be given to the welfare of children before they are born.
Learned a lot. I had baby blues with my first, lasted a day or 2, but it was enough to learn I couldn’t control it. Even though I cannot imagine what she went through, I empathize with her. As a career woman, mom, and now a grandma, I can say it is NOT EASY. For years I would feel sorry for pregnant women, as they had no idea what is really like. Not because having a child is hard, but because our society is not set up to embrace new moms.
Today I learned maternal psychosis is a separate thing from postpartum depression. Both are not well understood by most people. This documentary should be shared to all professionals dealing with pregnancy, moms and babies.
Thank you!
I wish there were psychology classes taught on the high school level to explain the topics like postpartum issues and psychological disorders. I hear about so many young couples fighting, etc. And also encourage students to get on birth control. Single young women usually end up living in poverty. Whoever reads this,please tell your daughters to not have babies back to back. As we see here, it’s extremely stressful on the psyche, and body. 😢😢 Very well done documentary.
There should be. Health classes should include all the details of single parenting, economic impacts, post-partum, physical issues as well. As well as family planning for couples. Raising a child is a lot of work and expense. Everyone considering having a child should know everything about pre natal care and what's going to happen when you have a baby and what you need to have in place to care for one properly. Its not all instagram perfection, it is a mix of work, exhaustion, and reward. And expense.
Let’s start with talking about the roles of boyfriend, husband, father. Let’s promote dads, support and guide them to be loving partners. Women go out work their forty hours and at least another forty at home. It should be no different with dad. I hate hearing “ oh he is home babysitting….no he is home being a dad, a useful addition to his wife and children, not just a paycheque.
Too busy teaching them there are multiple genders. So very sad.
I’m not buying that she was out of her mind. We are blaming everyone around her. She was smart enough to ask for help earlier on and she didn’t. She went and had a third child instead of using contraceptives. I think it was premeditated. I had the baby blues after I had my children, was isolated and had little support with a husband that worked all of the time, endured trauma growing up but I never killed my kids. I do believe she is made to be an example of how our we need to become more educated on the signs of postpardum depression and this needs to change. She lacked resilience and common sense.
She literally DID ask for help though ? Repeatedly throughout the entire doc ??? Did you even watch it ?@@katierojas8066
When her husband afterwards said she needed help, I just couldn't stop thinking, well why didn't you help her then? Looking after 3 kids under the age of 3 all day is way more exhausting than his 40hr a week job. It's the social construction we have built up around paid work being the be all and end all and unpaid work must be easier as you stay at home all day. It's the unpaid workers that carry the paid workers and work all day and night, while the paid worker stops when they get home. Everyone said they should have helped her more, except him. I'm not blaming him, but his lack of acknowledgment of his part in this speaks volumes.
ummm he had to pay the bills maybe she shouldnt have married a delivery guy and could have got a nanny.
@@VictorMendez-l6u He could still help even if he is paying the bills. She was working, it was just unpaid, as looking after 3 kids is hard work. They couldn't afford a nanny as they were struggling for money. She was exhausted and he was old school expecting his dinner on the table at night. But we're not in the 1950's now. When partners come home, they help out and clean up, help with the kids and help with dinner no matter what job they have.
There’s been quite the baby boom here the last couple of years. I shared this video to my Facebook. I felt like it may help someone I care about. Thank you to everyone who shared their stories and participated!! I know it couldn’t have been easy to have to relive and retell their horrific experiences. Y’all take care of yourself and each other! I am sending prayers and positive energy up for victims, survivors, families etc!! God please wrap your wings around everyone who is affected by this illness.
I went through postpartum psychosis, it was beyond what I could describe, I gave my kids up for adoption because of it. I told the doctor what I was going through, he handed me some expired medication, and said I was okay. By the grace of God I didn’t harm my kids. This is real, and so crazy.
Wow i know that was so hard. Did you ever try to get them back?
@@kingknowssbest It was difficult for me, but, I loved them so much I had to let them go. I wanted them to have a healthy childhood. I did search for them when they turned 18, currently we all live in the same town now, and have a good relationship!
Shame on you for having them in the first place. Seriously people like you make me angry. If you couldn’t handle it why did you have more than one?
@MirageandReality your actually tapped in the head.
This mother was crying out for help. She needs to have someone fight for her, she’s already been through more than anyone could possibly imagine. Please someone help her ❤
This is a nightmare come true. When will we learn judging and demonising people who are struggling only make this happen more?