it's not you, it's your 20s
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 8 ก.ย. 2024
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If you're feeling lost and confused in your 20's, then this video is just for you. x
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First of all: the effort I put into this color scheme. Give the boy a like for the aesthetic. Secondly, I hope this helps some of you! There's a lot more I could say here, but I think what was said is worth the listen. Sending you warmth and peace as we all glide through these turbulent times together ❤️❤️❤️
ur beaut and so is everything u do 💓
thx for this video grad school apps are killing me
Your aesthetic has always been so inspiring to me
your aesthetic is just something incredible! and your comforting words always make my days and my life (!!) brighter 💌
love u the most angel! And ur outfit is absolutely adorable 🥰 hope you’re well lovely
Thank you good sir, I missed your content and got sent this. So it was probably the algorithm being like “oh, you DEFINITELY need this”
"One day you feel like you're on top of the world and the next you have no idea what you're doing" is the best way to sum our 20s
sometimes living in your 20s just seems soooo exhausting and you can't catch a break but then there are moments where you feel the most alive and so thankful for where you are
“You may regret it, but you won’t forget it” GOLD
those moments make good stories...right? * nervous laughter *
@@ConnorFranta my heart🥲😭💓
But of you drink to much you really do forget things tho...
you don't forget the things you regret!
I lost it at that part lol
Being 25 is weird because you're not as experienced or settled as 27/29 year olds but you're also not fresh out of high school like 20/21 year olds. I'm trying to stay focused on the things I chose (college, job...) in my early 20s while also wanting to ditch everything and go travel or try to make the most out of my life while I'm still in my 20s. It's a BIG dilemma whether to start building a career to benefit your future self financially, or to use the remaining years creating experiences to benefit your future self on a personal level. Who knows what it's best to do...
do you have any advice for me? im 19 rn and turn 20 soon and I'm nervous
YES TO THIS. I'M ALSO 25 (turning 26 in a few months), and it's SO challenging to figure out the "best" path. i know i don't want to stay in the state that i'm currently in (geographically, lol), but my job is here. which means, if I move, I also have to commit to restarting my job with a new company. daunting.
also, having friends settling down when I am NOT ready to do so is a whole other beast.
@@KillerConfidenceQueen I wish you luck
@@silverbowftw5225 If it's any help, when you are in your 20's people older than you and your own age will try to take advantage of you constantly and standing up for yourself rarely helps. You just kind of need to avoid people that are bad and only hang around expensive and helpful people. Working with baby boomers is terrible, since they are always lying and trying to get you fired. My advice is to keep in mind it is not your fault (as long as you behave with basic manners) and invest your time in what you want because a lot of people will use you for rides, money, free work and pretend their wrongs are your fault. Wish I were kidding.
use your vacation days to travel so you can have both!!
Connor’s outfit matching his bed is honestly the only thing keeping me sane rn
the way i felt when i put this whole scene together.... * unstoppable *
Obsessed with the look, but specifically the pants! Contrast stitching? *chef’s kiss*
legit
underrated comment 🤣🤣🤣
I’m 22, almost 23 and I’ve never so lost as I do now. I feel like time is moving so fast and I’m frozen in time. I don’t know it feels like the end of the world and as if time is running out even though I’m so young, I feel like I haven’t accomplished enough in my life compared to others in their 20’s and it makes me feel immense amount of FOMO :( I really needed to hear this thank you! I’m crying as I’m watching this
@Aila Verco while it's true that it's difficult to trust people, social interaction is necessary and one or two good friends is enough (if u. Have more than two trustworthy people, even better )
22 and 23 were HORRIBLE years for me.. I'm 24 and I didn't ever think I could create the life for myself that I have now. I was desperately waiting for the day I'd feel fulfilled and accomplished but was so depressed and unsatisfied that I didn't even try to put any effort into my growth. I truly think that your early mid 20s are meant for feeling like an absolute failure and pariah. At a certain point you just get so tired of it that you have no other choice but to try. And that is when life starts to become really beautiful.
You actually aren't missing out on anything. I guarantee that most if not 90% of people that age feel the exact same way you do. If anything, lean into that feeling of isolation and figure out what that feeling of being left out brings up for you. Use it as motivation to go out and meet new people/try new things. Also recognize that you have SO much time to accomplish your dreams and goals. Were only a quarter of the way through this!
I am so sorry you're struggling but all you have to do is hang on. Start keeping a journal, force yourself to strike up a conversation with a stranger once a week, and listen to your intuition. You're in a cocoon stage right now and actually need some solitude to grow. It's hard to find that balance of being social but still having space for you, having fun but still maintaining your priorities/duties, following your own path and being authentic but still knowing when to ask for help and take advice. There is so much to figure out and it can get so overwhelming. Just go slow. One day, maybe even one hour at a time. Life isn't a game to see who can accomplish everything first even though it feels like that a lot of the time.
Be gentle and kind to yourself. It really helped me to treat myself like a 7 year old and re-parent myself. Would you want 7 year old you to sit on social media staring at pics of people at a party you weren't invited to? Would you want them to be in such a rush to grow up, missing out on their whole childhood? Would you want them to wish that they looked different? Don't let them settle for crappy friends or partners that don't value them. You gotta protect that kid because they are what makes life beautiful and exhilarating. Once you lose them it's really hard to keep going.
So sorry for the long comment but I've been there and I feel for you. I'm not a therapist but a lot of this advice did come from mine and helped me so much. I honestly didn't think I was going to make it to 24 and a lot of people around me were surprised I did lol.
I feel u bro I am in the same situation right now 🥲
@@no_ononono3074 How has life changed so much for you in the past year? I'll be turning 23 next month, and I don't know what to do with my life. I feel so lost and frustrated. I don't even have any skills that I can think of.
@@no_ononono3074 Thankyou for writing all this, makes me feel a lot less bad about my weird life today
“I just feel like I’m not living up to my own expectation… AND THAT’S BECAUSE IT’S NOT EVEN MY EXPECTATION! It’s the expectation that’s PUT ON ME that I DIDN’T ASK FOR!”
I needed to hear this more than you will ever know.
Everything people told me my 20's would be like (especially after college) where so misleading. I'm nearly 24 now and I've lost friendships I thought I would have for way longer, I've experienced graduating during a pandemic, I have been so lost and confused about my place in the world, struggled to come to terms with so much trauma, had to move back in with my parents after failing to get a decent paying job during the pandemic. None of it has been the fun wild enjoyable youth that people describe as their 20's. So for the past year I feel like the majority of my life has just been coming to terms with the fact that your 20's are messy and figuring out who you are, they aren't a big party where you are just single and young and living life all the time like I had been told to believe it would be like. Its actually very lonely, but once you come to terms with being with yourself, it becomes far less lonely, and far more enjoyable.
i agree 1000 percent on everything. i graduate college in may!
@@TreyDewitt congrats!!! I hope you celebrate and get to enjoy it! it’s a huge accomplishment :)
@@Toonksbell43 ahh thanks ! 😄
I AGREEE 100%% I just graduated this summer and after graduating I had to move back home and I’ve been applying for jobs since July and haven’t been offered anything :((((
@@elannawright3801 YOU ARE NOT ALONE! I've been applying to jobs since june 2020, had to take a restaurant job instead which was terribly under staffed because of COVID, its rough out here for us post-grads just entering the 'adult world' and trying to explain that to my parents is impossible as I'm sure you can relate! Hang in there we'll get our chance soon :)
"This is not the only moment worth living so, stop putting so much pressure on yourself" needed that
*"The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago and the next best time is now"* I consider this to be best motivational quote I've heard in a very long time. But motivational quotes are useless if you don't practice what you preach*
Also to anyone in their 20’s from low income backgrounds please don’t feel like you can’t live life like this, maybe not focused on travel or shopping but creating unforgettable memories can be free! You don’t need money to get through your 20’s you just need to keep living through it and find the happiness you can.
Lol, ok i'll try.
How’s that? Cause mommy and daddy won’t lend me money so then how am I gonna get what I without money?
as someone who just turned 20 and is freshly entering “their 20s”, this video really resonated with me. i’m terrified of the future and big changes and something about hearing you talk about it just made me realize all i can do is just experience it fully and there’s no point to stress about it. thank you connor
I just turned 20 too and I feel the same way ❤️❤️
Great way of putting it :) 💓 #35
I’m 22 and still figuring it out, don’t worry because you really are going to figure it out
sameee
btw i just searched up connors uni and he went to an all boys school and hes gay ,makes sense XD
I am 27 and most of my 20's were just been about feeling lost, lonely, depressed, and anxious. I feel like I spent my early 20's in a long-term relationship just because it felt safe and I didn't really challenge myself, make friends, or explore. I still don't have a career, but I finally know what I want to do and I am moving in that direction. I've just really started challenging myself to get out of my comfort zone, try new things, and live. I definitely regret the first 6 years of my 20's.
I’m glad I’m not alone. I turned 26 yesterday and that’s so weird because I don’t feel like I’m even in my 20s because I don’t have a career, I still live at home. Tbh I feel like an outcast but reading your comment, seeing this video and hearing I’m not alone makes me feel better
What r u doing to get out of your comfort zone?
@@Wwetitanfan27 Well, I grew up in a toxic, abusive family, so I was always scared of and anxious around new people and I had a very strong belief I was unlovable and that people were inherently bad. At the same time, I felt like I always had to be in a relationship to have any value, so since the age of 14, I was always in relationships, even if the men were toxic. Seriously, I'd always have a backup guy I was interested in in case my bf broke up with me. My last bf was the first that I broke up with (as opposed to them breaking up with me). I've now been single for 2 years (which was out of my comfort zone). I've learned to be comfortable and confident alone. I was diagnosed with PTSD in high school. I took psychology courses about human development, relationships, and trauma (which was out of my comfort zone) and learned what healthy relationships look like. I've challenged and changed my core beliefs of the world, relationships, and myself. I challenge myself to talk to strangers wherever I go and meet new people through meetups. I have a board game called We're Not Really Strangers that I'll take to random places and I have a sign inviting people to join me. I've started teaching Zumba classes. I'm applying to graduate clinical psychology programs (even though I lack confidence in my undergraduate grades and the idea of rejection feels scary and uncomfortable). I challenge myself to try new activities at the risk of failure and have learned to laugh at my mistakes instead of beating myself up.
Interesting. Sounds like we've lived, and living very similar lives. I'm 26 and relate to everything in your comments besides being in relationships.
Now you're making me wonder if I should've travelled through Europe with my friends and had that ho phase.
there's always time
@@ConnorFranta Somewhere far, far away, Wendy Williams is heard saying "She has a point"
If you have the money and are still living with your parents. Have no financial responsibilities, do it while you're young. I went to Europe twice. Both times were spur of the moment decisions.
@@megannowicki2650 I'm seriously considering it for next year!
@@RaheemD I would suggest a travel group / agency. Stayed in hotels/ hostels. Saw amazing things that are once in a lifetime opportunities. Been to southern Ireland, 5 different cities. Been to Venice, Rome, Amsterdam, Paris.
I'm in my 20s and most of the time, I feel like I'm carrying the weight of the world. But sometimes, there are moments of respite where I feel like everything is smooth-sailing. It's a constant back and forth.
About the part "do what makes you uncomfortable" I think this is not about putting yourself on risky and dangerous situations (things you will indeed regret later), it's more about getting youself out of your comfort zone and not doing things you love just because you are afraid!!!! I have postponed tons of sh*t I would LOVE to do but I don't because my friends have different hobbies or I'm afraid I will suck at it, ex: photography, culinary classes, going to see that movie alone!!! DON'T MISS YOUR LIFE TRYING TO LIVE SOMEONE'S ELSES! DO WHAT YOU FUCKING WANT EVEN IF THAT MEANS YOU'LL HAVE TO DO IT ALONE! Trust me, love will follow you wherever you go, you will find better friends that truly support and understand you, please don't waste (not only your 20s) your LIFE seeking approval and validation from others, I hope you are brave enough to go and live your dream life and never settle for anything that does not makes you happy, okay? Sending so much love to everyone 😊💖🌸
YES!!!! THANK YOU!! I want to hug you so bad!
hell yeah!
i feel like i miss out on a lot of things because im afraid of doing em alone. it can be scary to go out to a public event by yourself, but it can also be so liberating and who knows who'll you meet along the way? my goal is to definitely do more things alone and not be so dependent on other people.
This ^ 👍🏽👍🏽👍🏽
@@pinkxxmango and if you don' meet anyone it's ok too. Sometimes I go out wishing I meet somebody and come back sad because I didn't. Don't have big expectations, just live.
OMG, I needed to read this. I'm going to change majors (I'm already at my 3th semester) and my family is not supporting me, thank you.💜
I'm 23 and I think is the hardest age! Already finished University, don't like what I studied, have no money, constantly stressed, worried & living the future instead of the present
honestly i always feel like i'm so behind and that i've "lost my potential" now that i'm in my 20s... i really needed this reassurance, thank you :')
It's never too late and you're not too old 😊
i'm 18 and i feel like i'm too young to DO anything but too old to "start over". starting to realize there's no going back and I'll never be that lil kid with all the hope and joy and potential and curiosity again. I feel so TIRED but I'm so young. does that mean I'll keep getting more and more exhausted as I grow up? because that sounds fucking terrifying.
@@helenvane umm, yes and no, it's a cycle, don't worry about it. The end of your teen years can be stressful - finishing highschool, deciding what you want to do next, maybe moving out for college, it's very normal to be tired at that age, I was too
@@friedlemon5172 does it get better though? do you find some kind of peace eventually??
@@helenvane uhh, I'll let you know in a few years lol. I'm turning 22 in February and, hm, depends on the decisions you make now. For example, I didn't follow my heart and didn't take the time I obviously needed then to calm down and figure out what I want to do. Now my anxiety is back at it again, but it's more manageable now. Some days I do feel at peace, some days I'm the farthest from that. So, my advice to you would be: be honest with yourself, as much as you can, don't make big decisions in a panicked state of mind, and take your time.
Eventually you'll find peace, eventually we'll find peace.
Good luck
One thing i do notice is people that are highly stimulated towards experiences may have to work a little harder at regulating emotion as they depend heavily on outside intervention to assist their happiness. I like using my own mind as a tool to create my experience within imagination it doesn't come natural to people but it's a muscle mind thing i try to work on constantly as we mature we are pretty much learning to train our minds to adapt to life's changes.
we stan the autumn color scheme.
Hi. I'm 20 and I needed to hear all of this. I'm losing my friends from high school, I'm in college for a major that doesn't interest me, and I'm feeling stuck in an unhealthy routine and I just want an escape. I too am very introverted so even doing this is a lot for me but you are one of the many people these past few weeks that have given me hope and inspired me. So, thank you.
I hope you'll fell better soon, sending hugs
It‘s rough, especially during a pandemic but there are always things that can make you feel better!
This sounds really rough, I hope things improve for you. If I can give you a piece of advice, unless there is some all-encompassing reason for you to be doing this major, either drop it or change it. I didn't, I spent 4 years at uni and got majorly stuck in life and depression at age 23 and it's not fun. Like, if you have to power through, it will end and you will doubtless make new friends and have good experiences, but don't sink your time and energy into something that's not interesting to you. If you don't know what interests you, take some time and figure out what you like doing right now (not all of eternity) and do that thing, or if there's something that you know you'd prefer doing, do that instead. I know very few people who actively benefitted from their time at college/uni, so if you're going to invest that money in a degree, at least make it something you care about. Sorry, just saw this comment and had to throw my two cents your way xx
Read "You are a Badass" by Jen Sincero. You won't regret it. Sending love and I hope you find your path.
Hi Brianna,
I am going through the exact same thing at the moment. Know that you are not alone in what you are going through, and it does suck. But life goes on and it gets better. You got this.
Me becoming twenty in a month: “Yes doc, I actually do feel this way”.
welcome to the chaos
@@ConnorFranta I feel like this video does and is going to help a lot, so thank you so much!
this is me 😭😭
heyy, i'll be 20 in a month too and same 😭
scorpios rise up
I'm 21, and I've decided that my 20s are going to be the years I get my mental health in order. No pressure to get anything right or have the best years ever, just focusing on making myself and my brain more healthy.
aw man i'm 22 and been talking to my psychologist about being lost and feeling like everything is a waste of time or everything i do must have a reason or some big meaning..
SO thank you for this video, i try to absorb all the advice, listen to people and see new perspectives AND... i could say a million things but for now i'll say thank you for this safe comfy corner of the internet and have a gooood week ✨
hi, i'm also 22 and I'd love to hear some advice/things you've learned or just any thoughts about feeling lost or wasting time if you would feel comfortable sharing 🥺
Everything in this video really resonated with me, especially the part when he talked about doing crazy things even though you might regret them afterwards. I feel like I'm overthinking every move in my life and that bugs me so much! 🙃
@@natsushi Hi! fellow 22 year old who just graduated from college and was talking to my therapist about this exact thing today! Its super cliche but seriously its all about that first step. Its about saying "huh I'd like to do that" and then going "ok so how can I do that" never just "I wish I could do that." That's (mostly) worked for me but its also a constant journey of learning what your interests actually are. If you're curious you should read "The Defining Decade" by Meg Jay. Literally like 1/3 of the book is about this exact thing if I remember correctly. Its changed my perspective on this entire decade we have ahead of us.
I'm turning 22 in a few days and I honestly feel like life is so meaningless and that nothing I ever do will ever matter, I know that sounds heavy but don't get me wrong I'm really trying here 😭😂 I want to live and I have all this things I wanna do but I'm just so down all the time idk what to do or how to fix it. I've been in therapy but I was dismissed, I feel so lost. sending all of you love, I hope the rest of our 20s only get better ❤️
Same ❤ this made me feel normal and less alone. Thank you fellow human
I felt that way at 22 also! (35 Now) It was Honestly the hardest most head-trippy, mind crisis year...:then you let go and it continuously gets cooler and more freeing (hopefully) ☺️
You Are Not Your Mind ♥️♥️♥️ You’ve spent 22 years being conditioned and told how to act and feel...that’s the age you start to shed it and BE YOURSELF!!! ✨🌟
I’m 22 turning 23 and I love my 20’s so far. I live with my parents and I’m starting to see how that’s a privilege. I got out of a relationship and I’m starting to see how that’s a blessing. I have a dog and I’m starting to see how that decision was the best decision I ever made. It pushed me to meet new people in the dog community and taught me how to take care of myself before I give to others. ❤️ my 20’s.
I needed this one today. I’m 28 and had to move back home after the pandemic like a lot of people & have been feeling very lost. Thanks for normalizing the idea that we’re all just doing the best we can and are trying to constantly still figure things out & that’s okay.
sending you so much love, kendra! ❤️❤️❤️
@@ConnorFranta thanks Connor! Best wishes 💜💜
same Kendra :( I also had to move back and I have been feeling the same :/ sending you hugs across the ocean x
@@rubiapedone31 in this together & it’s all going to be okay (hugs)
I graduated from university in the middle of this pandemic and I’m still living at home even though I turned 26 yesterday. And I’m still trying to figure it all out
Am I the only one how saw the irony when Connor blamed capitalism and then immediately did a sponsor shout out?
lol yes now that you mentioned it
I didn’t notice until you pointed it out lol
he had to make his bag
Im 25 but I’m always feeling like I’m not doing something right and I’m wasting my life away. It’s been a thing for this entire last year and I really needed this reminder. I’m kinda lost in what I want to do and at this moment I’m not doing anything, but I’ve done so much since I turned 18 until now but I forget that and I feel like I’m failing at life constantly. Thank you for this reminder that I shouldn’t put that pressure on myself and give myself some grace during this time. Thank you
Omg so tru. I think about the jobs and the ppl I met...so strange
Turned 25 yesterday and I felt this in my soul
@@supermona197464 I turned 26 yesterday but same
You’re doing your best and that is what counts
You're choices are costing you you're financial future
When you said "you're not going to find yourself doing the same thing every day" that really resonated with me. I've been feeling in a rut and my current job and would like to do something else. I don't really feel passionate about anything so that has made it difficult, but I do need a change and just need to work a bit harder to get in a better headspace in order to move in positive direction
as an old man, i'm pretty sure feeling lost never quite goes away.
my other favorite is imposter syndrome. the joy.
I just read "the defining decade" by meg jay and it felt so validating for everything i've been going through as a lost and confused 23 year old. My biggest takeaway from the book is that our 20s really are a time of so many significant events in our life... so it's important that we constantly stay open to new opportunities and making sure our life is unfolding in a way that feels satisfactory. It's about taking control of your life- figuring out what you truly want, and then figuring out how to make your best life a reality. It's hard, but if we put in the work these years will set the groundwork for a wonderfully fulfilling life.
I'm 21 going on 22 soon, and I'm constantly stressed out about everything. But this video gives me perspective on the fact that I just BARELY started by 20s, and my perception of how things should be are not as realistic (or healthy) as I think they are. I will continue to come back to this as I try to figure stuff out, so thank you for your kind words and advice 💜✨
I'll do the same
Connor: "go out, see different cities, meet new people, join a charity in a different country, you're not going to get the most of your life doing the same thing every day!!!"
Me, a 24 year old who has a job that demands 40-50 work weeks: ... :D
This video is so reaffirming of my experiences feeling terrified that I'm wasting my 20s and not living up to my own, as well as everybody else's, expectations. Thank you for this momentary relief that everything will be ok.
hope it helps! life can be so long, so there's plenty of time to exceed or completely reevaluate your exceptions ❤️
I’m 21 this definitely put a lot of things into perspective for me. Currently trying to find my passion plus I resonate with the struggle to be your true self upon meeting new people. I’m learning that it’s not my job to decide what version of myself is needed for others to be pleased but rather letting that person decide if they want to take it or leave it.
I’m 28 and I totally agree. I think we put a lot of pressure on ourselves to have it all as soon as possible and feel bad if we don’t. Best friends, wealth, a house, success, a soulmate. We have our entire lives ahead of us still to figure it out.
Holy shit, I hadn't seen a video of yours in YEARS. You were literally the first TH-camr I started watching when I was like 12 and I could barely speak any English. I'm 22 (and fluent lol) now and this feels a bit like full circle. Thank you for getting me started on learning English, making me laugh like crazy, and inspiring me to fully express myself back then; it may sound weird but I can say it has shaped me in a way towards being who I am today. And thank you for this video, because it is exactly what I needed right now. Lots of love, Connor! :)
hey! i feel the same. I started watching Connor's videos when i was 12 too, trying to understand him with subtitles. I haven't watched Connor for about 3-4 years, but i came across this video now when I'm 18. I feel some kind of sweet nostalgia when i think of the time when i was a huge fan of him. He was one of the first queer people I knew and it was so important for me. His ideas and ways of living resonated with me deeply. He really was (and actually IS) my role model. Thank you, Connor. I will always love u!
Same lol. It's been years
I call this the "buffering period" and just take it as I go. It'll all make sense eventually
*me feeling very sad and lost and stuck watching this* 👁💧👄💧👁
This is so crazy, I was just literally thinking I have no idea what I'm doing and I'm 22
this one goes to my playlist "videos to help me get my shit together when I think I'm losing it"
THANK YOU Connor! I'm 23 and I'm on THAT rollercoaster.
I don’t want to make anything count. Jk.
Anyway, I just turned 26 and discovered that I really love reading books out loud to myself. I feel totally at ease and in the present when I do that. Also the other day I was sorting some notes on my phone (a mix of diary entries and diy poetry) and I just remember, it hit me, I said: “I feel so content right now.” That was really special to me.
Ps. Love everything you said, I just want to say to everyone: Don’t do drugs. No matter how much you want to make the moment count, don’t do drugs, especially if you’re in a sad or confused state. Take it from a former addict. Drugs are nothing compared to what’s inside of you already. Search within. Experiment with that inner voice, befriend it, scold it, make fun of it, love it, surprise yourself. Drugs kill the surprise.
I just graduated from university. Currently unemployed and keep having a constant crisis about wtf I'm doing with my life. Kinda needed this today.
I feel the same. I’ve graduated from university this summer and I’m currently unemployed and I feel wtf am I doing with my life.
thank you connor i really needed this. i'm 24 and i feel lost and stuck. i know the only person that can give me the life that i want is me but making big changes also terrifies me, but i know that if i don't go follow my dreams i will regret it
I feel the sameee 😅🙄
For a person who's going to be 21 next year, and feeling lost af rn, the calming energy and the reassurance u gave in this video is truly priceless. Thank you for sharing connor
"Connor, you should have just done the drugs!" -Connor Franta
As a present 23 year old, who is still waiting for any of this messiness to make sense, I appreciate your introverted rant about getting out and life-ing. This is the motivational juice I needed today. Bring on the mayhem!
I'm 21, and in 5 days I finally move out of my parent's house and the city I grew up in. I'm terrified, I'm excited, and I hope I can make friends in this new city I'm moving to.
This hits hard! 23 and noooo idea what to do lol. So now Im doing a 6 week long mental improvement camp where you deal with past trauma’s and stuff. Its very hard BUT SO WORTH IT. if anybody is reading this; go work on yourself in your 20’s ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
I have just turned 21 , and my anxiety is just ripping me apart between going on adventures and go wild , or rest because the following years won't be easy.. THAT HELPT CALM THE HELL OUT OF MYSELF .. you doing you as usual and doing those kind of videos dooo help♥️
Good words 👌🏽
I'm 34 and felt this on a deep level. I missed out on a lot. Never had a significant other. Still haven't had a first kiss or anything. I've never been to party, concert, sporting event, etc. A lot of this was due to severe anxiety and college drama that really held me back. Even so, to anyone reading, if the 20s have passed you by, let's go for the 30s then. It's still fairly young. Even the 40s is still a good time to go about.
I think it's best not to limit ourselves to a certain age range just because the majority of the world lived large very young. Yes, I'm in my mid-30s and occasionally fall into self-pity for not living, but dwelling on regrets prevents us from moving forward in the here-and-now. Just start where you are; no looking back.
the colors, the chirping of birds, your outfit as a whole, the white walls & pretty lighting.. everything about this video is so perfect! love this, connor! so incredibly well made!! ♥️
As someone who was Diagnosed with a Terminal Illness (Brain Tumor / Brain Cancer) @ 18 Years Old... I can FULLY & Wholeheartedly, say that my early 20s (I'm now 24... 😅) My life has been a Wild-Ride... & All I can do or say is Life IS an experience! I do my best to continue each day, with an attempt to make it better than the last... & Genuinely, I struggle each & every day, to do that 😅😅 BUT! Life's short, not each day is as amazing as you'd want it to be. Thanks for this video, Connor! ♥️ I know that I ranted & bitched a lot in my comment 😅🤣😅 but this video, genuinely made me smile & feel hopeful! So thank you, I truly do appreciate that! ♥️
I love how this comes out when I'm having a very real existential crisis at 21. I'm very ost on what I'm supposed to do and idk if winging it will really work or attempting to follow a structure that i might not like would work
As someone who left his twenties some time ago, I will definitely agree with the importance of "experiences". Of course, be safe, don't do stuff that's (too) illegal and so on...but your twenties are a time for perhaps more targeted and meaningful experimentation than the often wildly unfocused abandon of the teenage years.
In my late teens and into my twenties, I studied hard, I worked even harder and I am reasonably successful in life now with stability that no doubt owes a lot to that. But I think I may have missed out on a lot of experiences that perhaps are best had in those years. It's not necessarily too late, but it does become harder to just be spontaneous and experimental later in life.
Great advice as always, aesthetically staged.
I’m 22 and I had a full on sob fest last night about how I have no idea what I’m doing…how did you know I needed this?
I get you on that. it may feel otherwise, but you are not alone. if you would like to chat or have me listen, I left my email in response to "FanofEverything" on one of the top comments. sending you lots of love. x
its so weird when im in my 20's and then being diagnosed with cancer suddenly the "you have a whole life to live" moment is cross out
🥺
Sending love
I’ve been so focused on finishing my degree and now after graduating I don’t know where to go in life. I guess I just never imagined to make it this far tbh
I'm newly 23. What a weird year it's been. 22-23 are such awkward little years in your 20s. I graduated from college, and I know me and many of my friends felt this overwhelming sense of "now what?" It's such a crazy crazy time to be navigating. In the midst of all of this, I've already lost friends from college and I've now recently gone through a breakup. It sucks so much to have people exit your life. Yet at the same time, there's no denying that this is a most dynamic period in my life, where I am capable of learning and growing and changing so much and so rapidly. I am no longer in a stagnant period, and I can mourn the loss of relationships, knowing that they were good for me then and that change is good for me now. It can be so lonely, and so hard to be 22-23. There is truly nothing like it. But like another comment said, you have to be able to be comfortable on your own, make yourself smile and be happy, and enjoy the time you have with yourself as a 20-something.
This just became one of my comfort videos. The warm aesthetic, with your soothing voice and words of wisdom 💕
I'm turning 21 in a month and I feel like I take things way too seriously that I forget to actually live in the moment and enjoy what's happening in the present. I really needed this right now, thank you for your accurately timed advice ❤️
why does everyone in America refer to Africa as a country??? ITS A WHOLE ASS CONTINENT BE SPECIFIC!!!
I turned 20 in September and been heartbroken the entire time. I feel like life is going nowhere and this feeling will last forever. Thank you Connor this video helped a lot❤️
Thank you for this Connor. I just turned 23 and I feel like I'm running out of time. I feel like I have done everything wrong so far in my life once I dropped out of college after my first semester which was back in fall of 2017...I don't regret doing it because I really hated it and I wasn't happy at all. Ever since the pandemic hit and the things I love to do was taken away I realized thats all I want to do in life. I finally went to a concert again after 653 days of not going to one and I cried! I have been non stop buying concert tickets to not every concert but it seems like it but I'm not! I'm finally getting out of my comfort zone and going to my very first college party! Well first party in general! I have never been to a party before not even in high school because I wasn't cool enough. I mean I'm still not really cool but I'm just glad I was invited to a party and someone thought of me! I have also kinda learned to not take thing really serious like my job. I have been there for 6 years and the amount of pain that job has caused me is just crazy. I realized I don't need to do all this extra work anymore when it isn't even in my job title/pay grade and never appreciated for it. It is not worth my energy at all. Anyway, thank you this video! I'm so proud of you coming out with a 3rd book! I can't wait to read it!
I haven’t seen you on my feed in forever, but you’ve appeared at the perfect time. I’m 23 and have been having an identity crisis and feeling like I’ve just got no friends anymore, every word you said hit home for me thank you so much 😭❤️
I turned 22 yesterday and I’m feeling very lost. Covid is making this a lot harder. I appreciate the advice in this video. I would like to go be reckless and leave the country and kiss strangers in bars but also there’s a pandemic going on, and I didn’t think it would last this long, and I don’t know when it’s going to end and I’m scared of missing the life experiences I wanted to have at this age.
for context I'm coming at this from the lens of socio-linguistics ---- a friendly reminder that when talking about traveling to different places in Africa it's better to refer to specific countries or regions, rather than just 'Africa' (unless you literally traveled allll over the continent). I truly don't think ConnorFranta meant it with any ill intent, but the way he describes it pushes the narrative of Africa as a monolith, when really it's the most diverse continent on earth. it's a narrative most North Americans (and perhaps other cultures, I just can't speak to that) have internalized, and something we need to be mindful of when talking about heavily stigmatized countries/regions/continents (basically everywhere but North America and Europe). I'd also like to point out the phrasing of a "charity" trip to "Africa." This particular phrasing alludes to the perception of Africa (notice I'm generalizing) as a charity case, rather than many different countries with unique socio-political environments. a better way to phrase it would be to name the specific cause, and refer to a specific location, e.g. "housing project" in "Mali". so just stay mindful of how the use of language can uphold stereotypes. this isn't a dig at Connor, just something I think is worth noting so we're all on the same page. peace :)
So glad you politely dove deeper into this. It is a very common problem that is often brushed over and needs to be addressed more often in constructive ways. Thank you.
Loved this thank you!
This this yes all of it!!
Thank you Connor this helped me so much. I am 24 years old, very confused about my future and often find myself feeling lost and stressed out trying to plan everything and live up to high self-expectations. Now I will instead try to create more unforgettable moments and love this part of my life. Your video gave me a bit of inner happiness :)
I think I needed to hear this - I’m a very cautious person and it’s actually hard for me to take risks like this, it makes me very anxious. It’s only now as I’m turning 22 that I’m realizing that many of my classmates who I thought were wasting their time were actually doing it right. Gotta live it up a bit more
I’m 21 and yes this is absolutely true. Every once and a while I feel like I’m having a meltdown because I don’t know what I’m doing or where I’m going or who I’m going to be. I’m happy with where I am but it’s still like a constant fear that I don’t know what I’m doing and it’s really scary. I feel like every major life choice I make is concrete and I can’t ever go back. I know for the most part every choice can be reversed you can change anything. But anyways, yeah your 20s are scary. For the most part, lifestyle and personality wise, I feel like I’m 30 but with all the existential dread and confusion of someone in their early 20s.
I needed this. Ever since graduating mid pandemic I have been so stressed in finding a job & that I’m not on the right track. I needed this validation that it’s OK
Same here
turned 20 in August, definitely entered this period of life with anxiety since i felt kinda behind in life (still live with my parents, haven't declared a major, don't have a car, no boyfriend, etc.,) so many of my friends seem to have their lives together and i'm kinda just here trying to have fun and stay above water. thank you for sharing your thoughts connor
You and I are in the same boat, my friend. Don't worry
I am 23, and because of my social anxiety i wasted my teenage years alone in my room, regretting everything. Now it's the year i change. Now it's the time i do the best choices and do great, wish me luck!
Connor: "I went to Africa"
Also Connor: "The thought that I went to another country"
Ah yes, the famous country of Africa...
im talking to myself for 37 minutes with constant leaf blower interruptions LET ME MAKE A SINGLE MISTAKE
@@ConnorFranta There's mistakes and then there's that xD
@connorfranta sure! it's not like it's a huge continent in the middle of the globe or anything 🙃
I mean if he went to a country in Africa he did go to another country
That doesn’t imply he thinks Africa is a country though? If you go to another continent, you’re going to another country…
23, in debt and feeling lost at this stage in my life. I have very high hopes for my future though and know that this period is just the “sucky” time. Biggest goal is to: GET OUT OF DEBT - I think that’s the biggest thing that is weighing over my head and keeping me from feeling free. Thank you for sharing this video, knowing you are 29 and have gone through it in your own way gave me some peace. We truly are just going through life figuring it out day by day - no one has the magic answers and we are all having our own human experience.
Pharmacist here. Please don't say it's harmless to try drugs. Not everyone has had a wonderful life so far and that one time can be enough to put them on a wrong path.
that is so true!
Amen sister.
i turned 21 in august. this first year and few months of my 20s have already been incredibly transformative, eye-opening, painful, beautiful, stupid, etc. and i have realized that i am so malleable and i am strong enough to handle change, heartache, what have you. this video was like a reassuring hug. thank you.
almost 24 years old and i've never felt more disconnected from age than since turning 20. before every birthday seemed like a milestone but now i'm just floating through and feel overwhelmed by the responsibility of having to take care of everything myself, overwhelmed by the possibilities that my life could go into if i only dared to quit my job and look for something else. money playing a huge part in it, which i hate. my dream is to life on a farm with my boyfriend and loads of animals, self-sustaining, growing crops. phone only used to keep in contact with family and friends.
not you catching me in the middle of my 15th existential crisis of the week while avoiding the homework i have due in 2 hours
I'm 25 now and I am feeling soooo behind, but then again life ain't a race.
i’m turning 25 in a couple of months and i think the quarter life crisis hit early 😅 i started to get super overwhelmed with everything when i realized i haven’t reached the stuff i wanted to yet. the career, the financial stability, the relationship, where i want to live, etc. and it made me reflect on what i want to do from here.
but then, i’m also trying to remind myself that 25 is young. it’s not too late yet. it never is. and that whatever age you are right now is the youngest and oldest you’ll ever be ❤
I'm in my 20s, and the thing I learned in these couple few months is that you should stop worrying about things that you can't control and try out anything that gives you the slightest interest. This has brought me so much joy, excitement, and fulfillment in life. What's the worst thing that can happen, you lose interest and go on with your life, exploring new paths :)
I turn 21 in two days, and honestly being 20 has been one of the worst years of my life. I’ve had to struggle with anxiety and depression and ultimately I’m just now at a point where I’ve lost motivation and what I want to do in life. I can’t plan for the future or think of where I want to be or go. It scares me to experience such a lack of motivation, cause I’ve always been incredibly driven.
Thank you for reminding me that this is not the only moment worth living. There are so many more years to experience.
feels like a coincidence that I just wrote about this in my journal yesterday and for you to release a video talking about this topic! :) it truly makes me feel less alone in this world, just because others are provoked by my opinion does not make it any less valid. They are just projecting their own insecurities and struggles onto us.
26 years old with a degree in film and video. Moved away from home in NY to NC last year. I’ve been working with the same company since I was 19 and I can’t stand it anymore and I need out of retail, but I’m afraid to quit and lose what I have worked for. But I also don’t want to stay and be miserable. This time next year I’ll be going back to school to get an estheticians license so I can ultimately start a business. I am so torn on what to do about my job due to what I’ll be doing next year. And I have to get paid enough to keep up and I need benefits and it just sucks.
I'm 26. Enjoyed the video. Definitely lost, floating through life. Trying to figure out what to do for the next several decades. Not giving up though.
I just turned 18 and I already feel like I'm a nothing in life and like I'm lost. And then I'm given the answer of "do this, that etc" and while I know they're right, it makes me feel like I'm not doing anything when I can't just do the thing they tell me to do. I also have ADHD so some things just work differently for me which is also exhausting
"I just feel like I'm not living up to my own expectation...and that's because it's not even my own *fucking* expectation" discord chickpea here and ow, did this hurt! I've always been my worst critic and I often find myself disapppointed cause I put way too much pressure on myself! thank you for this, Con! 🧡
Connor, thanks for this video! Your words gave me hope. I'm 19 now and I don't want to complain, but I do feel fearful of the future and big changes. I have many problems, I am afraid of loneliness, I am afraid to never find love in life, I am afraid of all the unknown. Sometimes these fears just devour me from the inside, I want to literally be torn to pieces because of some incomprehensible inner pain. But I try to pour it out into art, it really helps me to feel at least a little better. Don't think I'm bragging, I'm sharing. I paint pictures, write poetry, meet new wonderful people, try to enjoy life. I try to find a way out, to solve all the problems that prevent me from moving on. And your words made me believe that I can do it.
❤️send a lot of love and hug❤️
I’m currently 27 and I’m definitely starting to realize that it’s time for me to switch some things up in my life! My 30s will for sure be me spending more time and money on experiences rather than having possessions! ♥️
I'm a few months away from 27 but I feel like I haven't lived at all. I haven't found a steady job yet so it's hard doing things,travelling and even going out, when you have no money. I still live with my mom and I don't even have a degree. I had a temporary job but when I wanted to go out, none of my friends wanted to and it's sad to go out by myself and see all these friend groups having fun. I also have been dealing with depression for 14 years now. I don't want to live this life anymore. But I don't see a way out. I feel like I've wasted my youth.
Just turned 20 about two days ago. Still feels weird to say it out loud. This video gave me a sprinkle of hope that maybe everything's going to be ok after all. Thank you
i’m 20 in nursing school n spending every waking moment studying. needed this.
4:38 I’ve been thinking about this whole dilemma for months now but i just thought I was being melodramatic or weak for not being able to handle the “real world”. I’m 20 now (soon to be 21) and I feel completely let down by movies that depict your twenties as this amazing, fun-filled carefree time in people’s lives that shape them for the better. Since I became twenty I’ve had this realisation that things just get harder and harder the older you get. I’m in college in architecture (one of the toughest courses I could have picked), have money problems due to this, health issues and trying to keep a job and a social life having barely any time to fit things into the day and it’s caused mental health issues. So things haven’t been going exactly how I’d hoped they would from the movies I had grown up watching, wishing away my teenage years dreaming to live like the characters. This wasn’t supposed to be a sob story I have just never heard someone talking about this.
This video is incredible. Thank you again, Conner. ❤️ For most of my 20's (24 now turning 25 later this year) I was definitely lost and had no idea what I wanted to do with my life. Then in december of last year, my dad and I went on a crosscountry roadtrip (NC-California), and it definitely changed my life. I stopped thinking anxious thoughts so much, and a girl (who was really pretty) told me I was pretty (that boosted my confidence), and I'm now job-hunting in a town that I love. I'm finally living my life instead of being afraid of it and I feel great!
Dudeeeeee this comes exactly in the middle of my quarter-of-century-existential-crisis. I am about to turn 25 and my anxiety has skyrocketed with the pressure of "knowing" I'm not living my life to the fullest and that in doing so I am wasting the best decade of my life...or the only decade worth living...thank you for your video and for sharing your reflections, somehow this made me feel a lot better. :)
Honestly, your 20s are just meant to be a mess where you build a solid sense of self and figure out what doesn't work. Personally I look forward to my 30s the most. It's a time when your body is still strong enough to do some crazy things but mentally you know who you are, what you want and where you're going. Plus your peers will all be more mature/less stupid so there should also be less drama and social bs.
@@laolsaouce I really hope that I know who I am by the time I turn 30 or at least more about myself... everything seems so unclear right now... but you have a point, maybe there are some things to look up for in the next decade... sending you good vibes :)
“You may regret them, but you wont forget them” lol... very true... except for if you don’t remember them in the first place because alcoholllll. Lol.
This was so helpful to hear
Turning 21 had me feeling so bitter-sweet about my life. The fear of growing old and leaving my teenage years just made me feel so dead inside almost as if I've reached a dead end so like, thankyou so much for this video to remind me that, I've still got so much, I need this ahhh♥
I didn't know I needed this video until I watched it. Thank you so much for making this video! I can relate to everything you said.
“You really done something wrong by all accounts. Learn from it.”
“I got closed to it, I almost touched it but then I walked away slowly.”
“It's okay to wish that some had never been there in the first place.”
I'm 25, and I've been feeling lost since college. I had a chance to work abroad when I was 24, but I didn't go for it. Then, I trusted the wrong person, and I had been feeling depressed for my experience with him. Honestly, I feel like I've wasted my early 20s.
Now, I have this chance to go abroad, but I'm scared to take a chance. Maybe this video is a sign that I should just go for it.