@@myfakinusername You are not going to like what i will tell you and you will think i am pretentious dick. You've missed a labelling part so the question doesn't make any sense. It's probably joke tho that flew over my head haha
It sounds like you really appreciate the knowledge and the skill Chris possess and you are excited to implement those into your life and see great results it will do to your personal and professional life.
@@fredericp64 hahah it's funny that even tho that someone knows you are using those techniques, you still appreciate it, because it is based solely on understanding.
Man, that was profound. I absolutely, and I mean absolutely hate when I'm working with an "expert" and they ask me how they can help... bro, I don't know...
Thanks for this! When customer service reps get on the line and ask, "how can I help you?" after I have already been talking to a previous rep, that kinda tests my patience. I wonder what a good reply is. It's like they are playing dumb.
It sounds like you usually don't have great experience talking to customer service, but who does, right. I would say a good reply would be: "I've heard that you struggle with X.." or something along those lines. It would be much better if right of the bat he explained your situation based on what a colleague told him your situation is.
@@marko6489 To "I've heard that you struggle with X..”? Ah, hard to say. It depends on the tone. It could sound condescending and manipulative. If it sounds genuine, I would want to help. I think we are living in a time when people are really on edge. I’ve found that with customer service, it really pays to be extra nice. People can go out of their way to help when they sense genuine niceness.
Perhaps it's a cultural thing. "How can I help you?" in the South is wonderful. It tells me they're interested in helping me. Now if someone comes in and tells me what I need and gets it wrong, I'm offended that they brazenly stepped into the situation without knowledge, and I'm completely put off. It says to me that I'm dealing with someone who thinks they know everything and will act accordingly, which will inevitably leave me in a bigger mess.
It sounds like you can think of particular instances in which people told you what to do without actually knowing your problem and that left you with negative impressions of them and their intentions.
@@sublyme2157 Yup. People sometimes just say stuff and cover it up as "I am just trying to help you" so that could play a false authority and feel good about themselves.
In sales training they trained us to never say “how can I help you?” I for one certainly hold those words in contempt for reasons you articulate. The best answer when i do need some clerks help and i need to get them up to speed is to explain to them that i have $8,500 of frozen meat melting in the hot sun. If that doesnt stun them to life, i ask for somebody else to help if they are still too dense to do so. Managers and owners should be ashamed of themselves for not giving training to these poor souls.
10 things to quit for all Strong Men: 1. Caring about what others think 2. Not believing in yourself 3. Not experimenting different ideas / solutions for problems (life&business) 4. Not prioritizing your health 5. Wasting your precious time 6. Wanting something (instead write a plan and work towards it) 7. Chasing meaningless relationships 9. Wasting or draining your energy from beating your meat 🥩 10. Wasting time by scrolling social media 11. Nailbiting/nailpicking habit for good (if you do it - consider stopping it as it makes you mentally weak + affects your confidence and all other areas of your life!) Take it easy and I hope you found one thing helpful in this list...........
This is very powerful message with really good intent. It seems like you've stopped taking bullshit from other people in life and started relentlessly improving yourself to help yourself and others who need support. That's great stuff. But I have one comment regarding your list that will make me look like a jerk. People can not comprehend negative. If I tell you: "Don't think of black elephant." The first thing you think of is the black elephant. So rather than "stop caring about what other people think", more actionable piece of advice is: "Only care about things that are important to you." ... that is actionable. The advice applies to the rest of the list. "Don't", "not", "stop", etc.. those are unhelpful because they reinforce the thing you should not focus on rather than what you should focus on.
I like the intent of the list, but, depending on how one interprets it, it could come off a little bit like a sociopathic workaholic checklist. Most of the fun we have in life (including meaningless relationships) technically falls under wasting precious time.
@@ImmaDolphin for every bulletpoint is something different. For example the number 1: "Stop caring about what othter people think" to "Only care about things that are important to you."... the similar actionable advice would be, to quote Buddha: "Believe nothing, no matter where you read it or who has said it, not even if I have said it, unless it agrees with your own reason and your own common sense." The rest of the list in this same manner (not necessarily what i would advise). Start: 2. focusing on great things you've already done, only you can do and will do in future. 3. proactively testing valuable ideas in your business, relationships, health, etc. 4. prioritizing your long term health and energy levels on daily basis, because no amount of money and material goods means anything, if you feel like shit every day. 5. planning how you will spend your time 6. writing down your goals, vizualize them and create a plan how you will achieve it. 7. cutting certain, toxic, draining relationships off by distancing yourself and learning how to say no in little ways. 9. being conscious of your immediate, daily environment and organize it in a way that discourages distractions / low pleasure, cheap dopamine activities such as jerking off, internet, smartphone, TV, smoking, junk food, etc. 10. (rule number 9.) 11. living consciously when it comes to your bad habits and replace them with more valuable ones. Here you go.
I agree/disagree. This is a double-edged sword. If you get it wrong at the wrong time such as during a board meeting or high-stakes sales pitch, or if you get it egregiously wrong, or if you get it wrong in a way that you lose respect and credibility, then you will be making a serious error that will be practically impossible to overcome. Otherwise, then yeah I agree with you.
Give them the illusion of control. Let Voss win, subtly create diversions from the topic. Diversions unrelated but seemingly important (Ex: What about equality? What about Gender pay?) Overloas them and pick them apart from their exposed opportunities.
@@unknowninfinium4353 All jokes aside. That is a very good point on the illusion of control, but I don't think that tactics need to be any different than what they are practising. After all, they are humans as well. They want to feel understood and feel in control. Having that said, you need to label them with something like: "Since you've started company and found success in the market, you probably get emailed all the time by all sorts of people wanting something from you for nothing while misusing your own techniques. It's probably a bit annoying that people do not understand the basic principles you are standing for, but at the same time, flattering that so many at least try to use techniques. It means you've done something right and that surely feels amazing. You must be so proud that your life work actually resonates with so many people... blablabla" You need to show them you understand what they are experiencing, what they are seeing. That in itself would make you stand out in their eyes. But, if I were to send an email, i wouldn't go with that. I would go with emotional anchoring: "I will be just another person using your techniques trying to get something for free (or whatever your goal would be in negotiation with them)..." Put bad image of yourself, show them that you understand where they are coming from and at the end of your ask, go with "Is it a ridiculous idea that (whatever your goal is, but make it sensical, as an understandable ask)"
@@marko6489 Yeah i wanted to give my shot and you seem to make a good point. I'd also like to try something different, not different it's pretty obvious. It's to poke the person enough to make him lose composure the use that. So what do we know about Chris? Nothing much, you are a viewer as much as I am. However if you look at the people he brings out with him and refers too he enjoys diversity (I domt want to start anything here, that's besides the point. I wanted to write something without getting deleted. You get the idea now.) So taking that. Let's say I met Chris so I would go like: "Chris's I appreciate all that you have done and are doing to improve business but in today's market you to be more progressive (An attack.)" "What Black Swan fails to do is focus on long term relationship, with your reputation and your students how are we not the ones being manipulated (Victim card.)" These two are the things I can think off straight off my head but if I had win (for the sake of argument and discussion. I love Chris and his team, this is just for the answer.) I would use this.. Oh this came up too. "How can we trust you or have relationship with Black Swan members when Chris himself deletes comments and avoids criticism?" (Trying to evoke an emotion to get them rattled)..
This will sound like I am sleazy salesman who is absolutely dishonest and is exaggerating the value of the content.. The content from this guy is the number one thing you can learn to vastly improve all your personal and professional relationships that will completely change your life for the better and there is zero manipulation and negative consequences in it.
If a customer corrects you - THEY will only feel that you don't know what you're talking about and that your wasting their time. Jordan belfort say you have to be an expert in your field and understand your client's so you don't seem like an amateur.
@@marko6489 Exactly. No one has all of the information. With a customer, you're asking questions about THEM and THEIR situation; of course you're not going to know everything about what they're doing
Case to case basis , don’t hassle them on purpose if there is no need to. Haha if you’re a cashier just do a proper job , there’s not much negotiation there
False. Here’s an example: Realtor: “Most sellers in this market are telling me they are worried about getting the best sales price.” Client: “That makes sense, but for us we actually care more about getting it sold quickly.” The realtor was ‘corrected’ but do they come across as an idiot?
hey Chris, would you narrate your book already!
Nooo, use the tactic....Is it a ridiculous idea for you, Chris, to narrate the book?!
@@myfakinusername 😂 that’s right!
@@myfakinusername You are not going to like what i will tell you and you will think i am pretentious dick. You've missed a labelling part so the question doesn't make any sense.
It's probably joke tho that flew over my head haha
Have you given up on this project, Chris?
It seems like he really wants to.
Chris is exceptional at thinking outside the box and flipping perceptions the other way around, wow!
Exactly
It sounds like you really appreciate the knowledge and the skill Chris possess and you are excited to implement those into your life and see great results it will do to your personal and professional life.
@@marko6489 lolol
@@fredericp64 hahah it's funny that even tho that someone knows you are using those techniques, you still appreciate it, because it is based solely on understanding.
I genuinely look forward to Chris Voss writing another book. Perhaps something about negotiating through writing would be a great idea.
Man, that was profound. I absolutely, and I mean absolutely hate when I'm working with an "expert" and they ask me how they can help... bro, I don't know...
Thanks for the content, Chris. You have helped me make people feel heard in my life that I couldn't have done before due to my trauma.
Deference is a superpower.
This .. as everything else Blackswan and Chris Voss..is pure gold!
Humbling and beyond valuable. Thank you.
Thanks for this! When customer service reps get on the line and ask, "how can I help you?" after I have already been talking to a previous rep, that kinda tests my patience. I wonder what a good reply is. It's like they are playing dumb.
It sounds like you usually don't have great experience talking to customer service, but who does, right. I would say a good reply would be: "I've heard that you struggle with X.." or something along those lines. It would be much better if right of the bat he explained your situation based on what a colleague told him your situation is.
@@marko6489 Thanks!
@@jennyandrievna4627 I am curious. How would you respond in their situation?
@@marko6489 To "I've heard that you struggle with X..”? Ah, hard to say. It depends on the tone. It could sound condescending and manipulative. If it sounds genuine, I would want to help. I think we are living in a time when people are really on edge. I’ve found that with customer service, it really pays to be extra nice. People can go out of their way to help when they sense genuine niceness.
@@jennyandrievna4627 I meant if you were in their shoes. What would you say instead of "How can I help you?". My bad.
One of the best suggestions (intentional mistake)❤
Thank you
Brilliance ❤
Perhaps it's a cultural thing. "How can I help you?" in the South is wonderful. It tells me they're interested in helping me. Now if someone comes in and tells me what I need and gets it wrong, I'm offended that they brazenly stepped into the situation without knowledge, and I'm completely put off. It says to me that I'm dealing with someone who thinks they know everything and will act accordingly, which will inevitably leave me in a bigger mess.
It sounds like you can think of particular instances in which people told you what to do without actually knowing your problem and that left you with negative impressions of them and their intentions.
@@marko6489 Life can be funny that way
I'm from the south and I agree
@@sublyme2157 Yup. People sometimes just say stuff and cover it up as "I am just trying to help you" so that could play a false authority and feel good about themselves.
@@marko6489 Meta.
So what do you do once they correct you? In regards of "Deference."
Profound
In sales training they trained us to never say “how can I help you?” I for one certainly hold those words in contempt for reasons you articulate. The best answer when i do need some clerks help and i need to get them up to speed is to explain to them that i have $8,500 of frozen meat melting in the hot sun. If that doesnt stun them to life, i ask for somebody else to help if they are still too dense to do so. Managers and owners should be ashamed of themselves for not giving training to these poor souls.
Ha...wow. impress them with knowledge or let them be the smartest person in the room at that split second. Impressive.
Fascinating. 👍
That is a great Al Pacino impression he does there.
10 things to quit for all Strong Men:
1. Caring about what others think
2. Not believing in yourself
3. Not experimenting different ideas / solutions for problems (life&business)
4. Not prioritizing your health
5. Wasting your precious time
6. Wanting something (instead write a plan and work towards it)
7. Chasing meaningless relationships
9. Wasting or draining your energy from beating your meat 🥩
10. Wasting time by scrolling social media
11. Nailbiting/nailpicking habit for good (if you do it - consider stopping it as it makes you mentally weak + affects your confidence and all other areas of your life!)
Take it easy and I hope you found one thing helpful in this list...........
This is very powerful message with really good intent. It seems like you've stopped taking bullshit from other people in life and started relentlessly improving yourself to help yourself and others who need support. That's great stuff. But I have one comment regarding your list that will make me look like a jerk.
People can not comprehend negative. If I tell you: "Don't think of black elephant." The first thing you think of is the black elephant. So rather than "stop caring about what other people think", more actionable piece of advice is: "Only care about things that are important to you." ... that is actionable.
The advice applies to the rest of the list. "Don't", "not", "stop", etc.. those are unhelpful because they reinforce the thing you should not focus on rather than what you should focus on.
This is actually good advice
@@marko6489 what should one focus on?
I like the intent of the list, but, depending on how one interprets it, it could come off a little bit like a sociopathic workaholic checklist. Most of the fun we have in life (including meaningless relationships) technically falls under wasting precious time.
@@ImmaDolphin for every bulletpoint is something different. For example the number 1: "Stop caring about what othter people think" to "Only care about things that are important to you."... the similar actionable advice would be, to quote Buddha: "Believe nothing, no matter where you read it or who has said it, not even if I have said it, unless it agrees with your own reason and your own common sense."
The rest of the list in this same manner (not necessarily what i would advise).
Start:
2. focusing on great things you've already done, only you can do and will do in future.
3. proactively testing valuable ideas in your business, relationships, health, etc.
4. prioritizing your long term health and energy levels on daily basis, because no amount of money and material goods means anything, if you feel like shit every day.
5. planning how you will spend your time
6. writing down your goals, vizualize them and create a plan how you will achieve it.
7. cutting certain, toxic, draining relationships off by distancing yourself and learning how to say no in little ways.
9. being conscious of your immediate, daily environment and organize it in a way that discourages distractions / low pleasure, cheap dopamine activities such as jerking off, internet, smartphone, TV, smoking, junk food, etc.
10. (rule number 9.)
11. living consciously when it comes to your bad habits and replace them with more valuable ones.
Here you go.
I agree/disagree. This is a double-edged sword. If you get it wrong at the wrong time such as during a board meeting or high-stakes sales pitch, or if you get it egregiously wrong, or if you get it wrong in a way that you lose respect and credibility, then you will be making a serious error that will be practically impossible to overcome. Otherwise, then yeah I agree with you.
There is a balance to everything. Could you think of an example from the top of your mind?
Case to case basis of course
This isn't being a fool. This is knowing the answer and making a mistake to get them to confirm the answer.
K, can we now get a course on how to defend against someone with black swan training?
Negotiate with them.
Kidnap them so there is no one else to negotiate with you.
Give them the illusion of control. Let Voss win, subtly create diversions from the topic. Diversions unrelated but seemingly important (Ex: What about equality? What about Gender pay?) Overloas them and pick them apart from their exposed opportunities.
@@unknowninfinium4353 All jokes aside. That is a very good point on the illusion of control, but I don't think that tactics need to be any different than what they are practising. After all, they are humans as well. They want to feel understood and feel in control.
Having that said, you need to label them with something like: "Since you've started company and found success in the market, you probably get emailed all the time by all sorts of people wanting something from you for nothing while misusing your own techniques. It's probably a bit annoying that people do not understand the basic principles you are standing for, but at the same time, flattering that so many at least try to use techniques. It means you've done something right and that surely feels amazing. You must be so proud that your life work actually resonates with so many people... blablabla"
You need to show them you understand what they are experiencing, what they are seeing. That in itself would make you stand out in their eyes.
But, if I were to send an email, i wouldn't go with that. I would go with emotional anchoring:
"I will be just another person using your techniques trying to get something for free (or whatever your goal would be in negotiation with them)..."
Put bad image of yourself, show them that you understand where they are coming from and at the end of your ask, go with "Is it a ridiculous idea that (whatever your goal is, but make it sensical, as an understandable ask)"
@@marko6489 Yeah i wanted to give my shot and you seem to make a good point. I'd also like to try something different, not different it's pretty obvious. It's to poke the person enough to make him lose composure the use that.
So what do we know about Chris?
Nothing much, you are a viewer as much as I am.
However if you look at the people he brings out with him and refers too he enjoys diversity (I domt want to start anything here, that's besides the point. I wanted to write something without getting deleted. You get the idea now.)
So taking that. Let's say I met Chris so I would go like:
"Chris's I appreciate all that you have done and are doing to improve business but in today's market you to be more progressive (An attack.)"
"What Black Swan fails to do is focus on long term relationship, with your reputation and your students how are we not the ones being manipulated (Victim card.)"
These two are the things I can think off straight off my head but if I had win (for the sake of argument and discussion. I love Chris and his team, this is just for the answer.) I would use this..
Oh this came up too.
"How can we trust you or have relationship with Black Swan members when Chris himself deletes comments and avoids criticism?"
(Trying to evoke an emotion to get them rattled)..
Such great insights
Agreed
Holy Shit.
Considering 1 in 4 people is below the median IQ for detardation that is a hilarious way to bond with them..
I have a congenital inability to experience embarrassment. It's kind of my superpower.
A sociopath, perhaps?
@@morpheus6749 -
You say that like it's a bad thing.
@@EchoTangoSuitcase It was a neutral question. But the interpretation you chose reflects some hint of guilt. Interesting.
@@morpheus6749 -
See what you did there, I did. MmmHmm.
Hahahhahah
Algorithm.
This will sound like I am sleazy salesman who is absolutely dishonest and is exaggerating the value of the content.. The content from this guy is the number one thing you can learn to vastly improve all your personal and professional relationships that will completely change your life for the better and there is zero manipulation and negative consequences in it.
If a customer corrects you - THEY will only feel that you don't know what you're talking about and that your wasting their time.
Jordan belfort say you have to be an expert in your field and understand your client's so you don't seem like an amateur.
You can get corrected and still come across as an expert. Those are not mutually exclusive.
@@marko6489 Exactly. No one has all of the information. With a customer, you're asking questions about THEM and THEIR situation; of course you're not going to know everything about what they're doing
Case to case basis , don’t hassle them on purpose if there is no need to. Haha if you’re a cashier just do a proper job , there’s not much negotiation there
False. Here’s an example:
Realtor: “Most sellers in this market are telling me they are worried about getting the best sales price.”
Client: “That makes sense, but for us we actually care more about getting it sold quickly.”
The realtor was ‘corrected’ but do they come across as an idiot?
Man, one same story again and again... Americans, just sell, sell, sell, moral is last thing on their mind.
Last thing on their mind?
@@morpheus6749 :)
@@morpheus6749 dont forget the upward trajectory at the end.
'...Last thing in their mind?'😄