Ep. 70 | 2 Bears, 1 Cave w/ Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer

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  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 7 ม.ค. 2025

ความคิดเห็น • 2.3K

  • @rhodus333
    @rhodus333 3 ปีที่แล้ว +784

    Congrats to "Fat Astronauts" for sweeping the Golden Globes last night. Adding Jen Anniston as the ball busting flight instructor made the film. Totally bought her commitment to safety

    • @ElkRiverBiodiesel
      @ElkRiverBiodiesel 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      😂😂😂

    • @RolandSpecialSauce
      @RolandSpecialSauce 3 ปีที่แล้ว +27

      @@AgendaInMind see a counselor please.

    • @malcolmcamire3013
      @malcolmcamire3013 3 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      @@AgendaInMind what's this gotta do with fat astronauts?

    • @CrashRacknShoot
      @CrashRacknShoot 3 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      @@malcolmcamire3013 just report and move on from dickheads like that.

    • @scottharvey2852
      @scottharvey2852 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Weird thing is I agree with him but fuck knows wot it's got to do with the price of milk

  • @DownriverRat
    @DownriverRat 3 ปีที่แล้ว +525

    “I’m a big bar guy.”
    - Brent Crisis
    I think we all knew that.

    • @delaneysays
      @delaneysays 3 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      He acted like it was surprising lol

    • @beardedrake9983
      @beardedrake9983 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      We've already known everything he says lmao

    • @stoybtorn
      @stoybtorn 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      It's way easier to double down than to admit your an alcoholic

    • @WKRP187
      @WKRP187 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      Next thing he's gonna tell us is it's hot on the Sun

    • @franzpoopenschitzel3002
      @franzpoopenschitzel3002 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@stoybtorn Oh snap!

  • @pareesa210
    @pareesa210 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1526

    As a 25 year old female, I am way too invested in the lives of 2 grown men acting like children

    • @18Callahan
      @18Callahan 3 ปีที่แล้ว +46

      I get it. Watching Bert is like watching a train wreck.

    • @Foreverfrys
      @Foreverfrys 3 ปีที่แล้ว +78

      30 over here! My fiance says he doesn't understand it, I told him I don't understand it either 😂

    • @lilyannrose
      @lilyannrose 3 ปีที่แล้ว +47

      As an 18 year old girl, me too

    • @astrologicalbum6616
      @astrologicalbum6616 3 ปีที่แล้ว +63

      Uh hundred percent.

    • @KCNicole
      @KCNicole 3 ปีที่แล้ว +46

      36...and same! My husband is like "This is stupid." Me: "Yes it is, see you boys next week."

  • @Dirtbiker463
    @Dirtbiker463 3 ปีที่แล้ว +554

    Bert is so confused as to why all his old frat buddies don’t act like they’re still in college lol

    • @TurKishsoulja
      @TurKishsoulja 3 ปีที่แล้ว +35

      he was acting condescending towards them too lol

    • @tapiture3720
      @tapiture3720 3 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      Comedians are just people who never grew up

    • @zechariahross1444
      @zechariahross1444 3 ปีที่แล้ว +17

      If Bert keeps acting like a frat boy he'll die at such a young age and leave Tom with no best friend. But maybe Tom will be kinda happy he can actually talk without being talked over. IDK

    • @K0sm1cKid
      @K0sm1cKid 3 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      I'm sure the conversation didn't go like he said, but i'll be real I don't fucc with Yo-Yo Ma either lol

    • @millardfilmore1403
      @millardfilmore1403 3 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      It’s because unlike them he has the luxury of pretty much doing whatever he wants because he makes a living from comedy ...

  • @DannnyTEE
    @DannnyTEE 3 ปีที่แล้ว +267

    Podcast Idea for Tom titled: “Tom’s Thoughts”. And it’s just a podcast where Tom finishes every unfinished story/idea/thought that Brent has interrupted before finishing.

  • @djrt8179
    @djrt8179 3 ปีที่แล้ว +443

    If there's a meetup, they need to hire the biggest security guard and give him a shirt that says "For Safety"

    • @a.n_9364
      @a.n_9364 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      👌🏻

    • @franktavarez6765
      @franktavarez6765 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      I was thinking just this when they said “we should pitch a show with jen!”

    • @hmwilson84
      @hmwilson84 3 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      Warren Sapp should be the security guard with the “For Safety” shirt.

    • @RoyAlexander214
      @RoyAlexander214 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣 @DJRT
      Thanks 🙏 I needed that laugh

  • @charlesvail4903
    @charlesvail4903 3 ปีที่แล้ว +544

    “I’m shocked I didn’t get more molested as a kid” that is prime Barf Chrysler thinking.

    • @AldermachXI
      @AldermachXI 3 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      Nadav's laugh killed me XD

    • @thismothafuckasaid7304
      @thismothafuckasaid7304 3 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      It's Mark Normand's joke.."I was such a cute kid, I'm surprised I didn't get molested more"..."I even got insecure about my looks, after hearing other kids got molested more"

    • @rorypatterson4548
      @rorypatterson4548 3 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Theo Von also had a similar bit on this

    • @DizzyGoat44
      @DizzyGoat44 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      More being to key word lol

    • @justinburgos2927
      @justinburgos2927 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      Then gets molested

  • @NoPreshNetwork
    @NoPreshNetwork 3 ปีที่แล้ว +127

    SOMETHING SPECIAL IS COMING TO YOU BEARS YASSSSSSS GURL - CHRIS D & SAL VULCANO

    • @bmoc0867
      @bmoc0867 3 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      Be sure to sign it, otherwise Burnt might get blamed for it.

    • @Lydiahp
      @Lydiahp 3 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      YAAAS BABES!!!

    • @4thebirds165
      @4thebirds165 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      THE CRAZY CAYUTE PLASTIC POOP BAG BANDITS

    • @WegnerTheDeftones
      @WegnerTheDeftones 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Hopefully it’s not D’Elia....

    • @tylergifford9169
      @tylergifford9169 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      I love this new pod war starting!

  • @tactical_philanthropy
    @tactical_philanthropy 3 ปีที่แล้ว +106

    "I'm a big bar guy. Hey, Nadav. Call that [random bar in America], I'm sure they know me."
    - Braunt Kerstan. Not an alcoholic.

    • @charlottem.1477
      @charlottem.1477 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      Ty.

    • @Jabromosdef
      @Jabromosdef 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      I read this as he was saying it and had a weird moment of brentception

    • @rustyshack1707
      @rustyshack1707 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      “Braunt Kerstan” lmfao I love the names people come up with for Bread Kriershaw aka Brandt Crenshaw aka Brent “Booze-bag” Khransler.

  • @jake-sy7lu
    @jake-sy7lu 3 ปีที่แล้ว +139

    If Bert's The Cabin gets a 2nd season, you better have Jennifer Aniston and Tom on one episode!

    • @suliim
      @suliim 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      It’s in the contract ;) hope you guys like it

    • @addakgetkd9505
      @addakgetkd9505 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      Why not both of them wtf I would want them both on here

    • @Mr.Safety.
      @Mr.Safety. 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      Word is there gonna be a second season?

  • @09cirohernandez
    @09cirohernandez 3 ปีที่แล้ว +386

    Imagine if hundreds of 70 year old women start approaching Bert saying hey im the 29 year old that kissed you

  • @maureacelasswell8645
    @maureacelasswell8645 3 ปีที่แล้ว +131

    “I’m super skinny, he’s on his way” 😂

  • @topgoatlicker6109
    @topgoatlicker6109 3 ปีที่แล้ว +260

    The Kreischer Kool-Aid Kit, or as he calls it - The KKK

  • @andsykes
    @andsykes 3 ปีที่แล้ว +138

    Hearing Bert say “Ben Affleck” is like nails on a chalkboard

    • @AdamA8
      @AdamA8 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      He said it perfectly normal when he did the episode with Tom's wife.

    • @andsykes
      @andsykes 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@AdamA8 I noticed that too!!! Did someone close to Ben finally tell Bert he’s an idiot?
      “No dude, you’re thinking of the insurance. It’s uh-FLECK”

    • @andsykes
      @andsykes 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@AdamA8 er I should say, in last weeks bears episode he was saying it right

    • @mjraines5159
      @mjraines5159 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Ah flek

    • @DevinMcSalty
      @DevinMcSalty 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      I think that’s how he pronounced his name one time on accident in an interview or someshit and bart thought it was the correct pronunciation lmaoo

  • @davidllanes1722
    @davidllanes1722 3 ปีที่แล้ว +36

    " Born again Christian Dior" sleeping on toms crew neck

    • @dannyb20vtec28
      @dannyb20vtec28 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Dope af

    • @shistyvillain
      @shistyvillain 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      I first thought it read "born again Chris D'elia"

    • @davidllanes1722
      @davidllanes1722 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@shistyvillain STILL to soon my dude lol

    • @charlottem.1477
      @charlottem.1477 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@davidllanes1722 😆

  • @Bloodyknukelzz
    @Bloodyknukelzz 3 ปีที่แล้ว +61

    Berts “Assessment” of Spencer Jones getting his ass kicked left out the best part. Before the fight starts the bloody face guy looks at his brother and asks “Which one you want?”

    • @jadenking4268
      @jadenking4268 3 ปีที่แล้ว +14

      Anyone who thinks the football players didnt start this and get what they had coming for acting like tough guys in front of real bad ass guys is crazy. I bet they have done this too so many smaller guys and got away with it!

  • @stretchingstyle
    @stretchingstyle 3 ปีที่แล้ว +222

    "I'm shocked I didn't get more molested as a child". Is Bert implying that he was still molested as a child... just not enough?

    • @J.D.Hardesty
      @J.D.Hardesty 3 ปีที่แล้ว +59

      Let's face it, he got molested just enough so that we love him and his comedy, and not too much to the point where we don't wanna be around him because he makes us sad.
      There's an equation for it:
      Molestation x Time Passed ÷ Number Of Shattered Dreams = Comedic Value

    • @4nnunaki
      @4nnunaki 3 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      I was very confused about this as well. Silly Bert Krishna

    • @williambarringer6513
      @williambarringer6513 3 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      we all got checked for "scoliosis" and got our ball bags fondled if you were born before 1990 or so, some creepy guy came to our school and diddled all of us and we never saw him again lol

    • @yohanscold2149
      @yohanscold2149 3 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      @@williambarringer6513 bruh, you talking about a doctor? FYI it's called a physical and it's still required, lmao.

    • @holymacarenafin2319
      @holymacarenafin2319 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      I know person who liked it. We are same age so don't you fucking make reports.

  • @kieran8720
    @kieran8720 3 ปีที่แล้ว +33

    "I'm running fast as FUCK right now"
    *tom gives most skeptical look ever into the camera* it's those moments that make their friendship so good for comedy

  • @connorleferink8456
    @connorleferink8456 3 ปีที่แล้ว +19

    Tom to Jennifer: “Hey Jen, hope this video doesn’t scare you.”

  • @robertdoherty821
    @robertdoherty821 3 ปีที่แล้ว +12

    I love Bert. I worked at Tempe Improv for years and the best night i had was Bert screaming through the bar about how good the steak I cooked for him was. He actually talked about it on stage for his second show. I knew I made it as a cook.

  • @Kyle-wu4rr
    @Kyle-wu4rr 3 ปีที่แล้ว +188

    Bert didn’t get Tom’s “cool guy” comment

    • @mcdonaldjc
      @mcdonaldjc 3 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      Mr. Unliiiimiiiited

    • @johnblough7989
      @johnblough7989 3 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      I often hear the guitar riff in my head when he speaks.

    • @dntgvafuk89
      @dntgvafuk89 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Which is actually disappointing, some friend 🙄 lol

    • @HankyDank
      @HankyDank 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      Is this the 1280 the Zone, 1320 KFAN Kyle Gunther??

    • @peanutgallery7753
      @peanutgallery7753 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      ​@@dntgvafuk89 I mean, he is a good friend. Instead of watching everything tom does he just hangs out with him

  • @danielnilan1896
    @danielnilan1896 3 ปีที่แล้ว +74

    I like how episodes go from hardcore diet and only drinking water to beet having a Pepsi and diet coke on the table with a bottle of wine

  • @smoovegutierrez541
    @smoovegutierrez541 3 ปีที่แล้ว +128

    “It’s good to be back”
    Good lord, Nadav’s googling

    • @sideeffect1591
      @sideeffect1591 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Now that song is stuck in my head. My wife is in for a treat when she gets home 😂

    • @gabemeza7177
      @gabemeza7177 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Nadav need a raise lol

    • @Bild0zer
      @Bild0zer 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Where did he go?

    • @rf7814
      @rf7814 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      It's a bit at this point lol

    • @RoyalReyna
      @RoyalReyna 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@Bild0zer I thought he needed a break from brent lol. Do you remember last week when he asked Chris to find the pizza place from Rome that he was thinking of with like no info? lol he is ridiculous

  • @mattweaver2523
    @mattweaver2523 3 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    Bert even interrupts himself its insane 😂

  • @mads4724
    @mads4724 3 ปีที่แล้ว +67

    Bret and tod being famous is like two 13 year olds that found 20 bucks on the sidewalk and are trying to find the coolest way to spend it

    • @MissBlueEyeliner
      @MissBlueEyeliner 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      What a perfect analogy 🤯

    • @jeffmccann
      @jeffmccann 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      Tom is like...we should save it and get more. Bart Krishna is like WE SHOULD BUY A BANK!

    • @venomviper09
      @venomviper09 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      I remember me and my buddy found like 30$ in a bush while biking around town and went straight to dollarama to buy a bunch of random bs

  • @cotyparker1423
    @cotyparker1423 3 ปีที่แล้ว +84

    Should honestly do a skit with jen where it's exactly like Tom's story of when they "met"

    • @nathanmiller9918
      @nathanmiller9918 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      How many millions would it take to get her to agree?

  • @KellenS128
    @KellenS128 3 ปีที่แล้ว +146

    Bert : in my recollection she looked JUST like Jennifer Aniston.
    Reality : Roseanne Bar 😂🤣

    • @TimWing23
      @TimWing23 3 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Roseanne Barr now or Roseanne 1992?

    • @KellenS128
      @KellenS128 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@TimWing23 really??

    • @TimWing23
      @TimWing23 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      @@KellenS128 lol it's a reference to Billy Madison.
      Norm Macdonald's character- "Who would you rather bone? Meg Ryan or Jack Nicholson?"
      Billy Madison - "Jack Nicholson now or 1974?"

    • @KellenS128
      @KellenS128 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@TimWing23 ohhh... great movie! Im horrible at remembering lines like that lol

    • @Ramboskates85
      @Ramboskates85 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@TimWing23 1992

  • @Angelica-rg2mf
    @Angelica-rg2mf 3 ปีที่แล้ว +256

    Bert's intelligence: a girl makes out with me when i'm 14 and she's 28 = she's twice my age,
    i'm now in my 40's so she's probably dead = she's still somehow twice my age, not just 14 years older than me

    • @prophetableforprophet
      @prophetableforprophet 3 ปีที่แล้ว +58

      My initial take was that he thought that the kind of 28 year old that makes out with a 14 year old probably isn't living a long life, but... let's be real: you're probably right.

    • @charlieos3451
      @charlieos3451 3 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      Yeah, I'm not buying the whole Burnt tested in the top 10% on standardized tests thing. He's a special fella tho.

    • @GrayVMhan
      @GrayVMhan 3 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      He said "she's close to 70" so I don't think he kept the double age in his calculation

    • @WKRP187
      @WKRP187 3 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      He's 48 so she's 62 ... He wasn't thinking she was twice his age or he would've said 90-100.... Maybe he doesn't really give a fuck about the exact numbers and doesn't analyze every sentence he says before he says it cuz that would make for a pretty fukn boring COMEDY PODCAST!!!

    • @mrwilson10190
      @mrwilson10190 3 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Ur intelligence is on par with Bret's I think lol. He never came close to saying whatever hell u just said

  • @JLBHabs
    @JLBHabs 3 ปีที่แล้ว +10

    hearing burt telling people to "never be overly confident" is hysterical

  • @mcwhelan
    @mcwhelan 3 ปีที่แล้ว +27

    "This is a totally cancerable conversation."
    I still can't believe that Bert gets paid to speak for a living

    • @Slept-on-one
      @Slept-on-one 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      He gets paid for the rest of us to speak

    • @Jacobmelrose26
      @Jacobmelrose26 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      I thought he said cancelable.

    • @EtopiaCA
      @EtopiaCA 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      I can't believe people are still regurgitating this low hanging fruit of a joke.

  • @strangelalansbury5028
    @strangelalansbury5028 3 ปีที่แล้ว +31

    Jennifer Anniston is definitely gonna get a "good morning Jennifer" video from Tom

  • @bisbeycb
    @bisbeycb 3 ปีที่แล้ว +133

    Bart says "Quavo" like it's a fruit from a smoothie he likes from the mall

    • @beatsbyserafim
      @beatsbyserafim 3 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      Bruh qwavo and da bay bay

    • @osloconfidental1807
      @osloconfidental1807 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

    • @Spongekelp
      @Spongekelp 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Quinoa and Quavo

    • @dexraikkonen7
      @dexraikkonen7 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      projection is a hell of a thing

    • @Gen7486
      @Gen7486 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      “Bart” lmao

  • @oldyoungone
    @oldyoungone 3 ปีที่แล้ว +62

    The worst part of that Oklahoma football player fight was rolling around on that nasty ass piss covered bar bathroom floor.

    • @shoonger001
      @shoonger001 3 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      Thats just Oklahoma soil...

    • @johnnydeleon8210
      @johnnydeleon8210 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      Definitely saw some puke or shit

    • @bigbakaboon
      @bigbakaboon 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      that was my reaction. Football man gets his ass beat, meh whatever. Them rolling around in piss, fucking gross. Pick anywhere else to fight. Who starts a fight in the bathroom anyways?

    • @weizhongxianfumariobeans7788
      @weizhongxianfumariobeans7788 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@bigbakaboon bcos they thought they would win, and probably bcos an altercation happened right there, and to walk out would be pussying out.
      So it goes down right there and then.

    • @kuslerf12
      @kuslerf12 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      @@weizhongxianfumariobeans7788 lmao facts someone busts ur nose in the bathroom n ur supposed to be like let's take it outside buddy

  • @zachworr4426
    @zachworr4426 3 ปีที่แล้ว +21

    I just wanted to let everyone know that "comminuted" open fracture means a compound fracture where splinters of the bone are what comes through the skin, not just the cleanly snapped end. So now you can be fully informed AND horrified.

  • @OHWISEONE1996
    @OHWISEONE1996 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    22:00 I love this part of the ad where Tom talks super fast. My dad was a big nerd and legit used to read to me like this if he was reading something dry that we wanted to get through quickly. It really takes me back.

  • @connorp3354
    @connorp3354 3 ปีที่แล้ว +37

    Can’t live Monday’s 365 without these two

    • @beercavetech
      @beercavetech 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      Veggies, soy, livelife365

    • @xrphoenix7194
      @xrphoenix7194 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      You know I'm coming up in may

  • @dirkbowman946
    @dirkbowman946 3 ปีที่แล้ว +105

    Best show on TH-cam

    • @djalilderr2831
      @djalilderr2831 3 ปีที่แล้ว +14

      If bert was Bobby lee or andrew santino or d'Elia or callen or theo or sasso i would've been with u but nah

    • @jhvibes3471
      @jhvibes3471 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      @@djalilderr2831 he wins me over for a while then get worse

    • @relaxntakecare3438
      @relaxntakecare3438 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      U ever watch ryan open toys? Not bad either.

    • @DtotheG92
      @DtotheG92 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Tom and Bobby would have been unreal

    • @yohanscold2149
      @yohanscold2149 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      @@djalilderr2831 yeee, pretty much anyone else with Tom woulda been better.

  • @billbozeman
    @billbozeman 3 ปีที่แล้ว +65

    A reenactment of Tom's story WITH Jennifer Anniston has to happen.

  • @hokurakensei6958
    @hokurakensei6958 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    I love that Bert calls people.. it takes bravery and I love his approach even if it seems oblivious

  • @starzariaguy5151
    @starzariaguy5151 3 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    Man, I never get tired of Bert starting 20 stories and finishing none of them.

    • @dylanmorgan2752
      @dylanmorgan2752 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      You’ll only understand if you have a mouth that can run over 100mph.

  • @korshelsaid
    @korshelsaid 3 ปีที่แล้ว +64

    If bert has less then 3 beverages in front of him then there's an issue lol

    • @joshuasutton3461
      @joshuasutton3461 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      *Than
      Carry on.

    • @RonBurgundy412
      @RonBurgundy412 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Thankfully the grammar police are here..... We really needed you.

    • @joshuasutton3461
      @joshuasutton3461 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      Not everyone is willing to help tear out the roots of ignorance, friend. I'm doing my part.

    • @squigtonianmayhem4602
      @squigtonianmayhem4602 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      There's a bucket of Kool-Aid on the floor next to him.

  • @SizeMcWave
    @SizeMcWave 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1116

    I found this show because of the Jennifer Aniston clip.

    • @cbgbd421
      @cbgbd421 3 ปีที่แล้ว +387

      You’re in for a hell of a ride sir

    • @keehc1535
      @keehc1535 3 ปีที่แล้ว +201

      You dont know what youve been missin out on. Watch the kool aid episode

    • @curlymanjordan
      @curlymanjordan 3 ปีที่แล้ว +140

      Scratch that . Go check out a podcast called “your moms house” it’s very liked by Jennifer Aniston fans ;)

    • @curlymanjordan
      @curlymanjordan 3 ปีที่แล้ว +72

      But start out and rent the live shows first. They are the best

    • @js01141
      @js01141 3 ปีที่แล้ว +41

      Welcome mommy

  • @theliammoran27
    @theliammoran27 3 ปีที่แล้ว +29

    "Super hot plus psychological problems equals Angel on Earth" - Tommy Buns

  • @kylenathan2256
    @kylenathan2256 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    The way Burt says quavo is criminal

  • @davidwinn8269
    @davidwinn8269 3 ปีที่แล้ว +12

    Bert gets two things wrong in one minute after INSISTING that he's right, and he doesn't even acknowledge his error.

  • @well_as_an_expert_id_say
    @well_as_an_expert_id_say 3 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    The smaller brother going "which one you want?" in that bar fight vid is one of the most metal things I've seen this week

  • @rams812
    @rams812 3 ปีที่แล้ว +118

    Berts assessment of that fight is no surprise. He would easily be the jackass football player thinking he's bad because he's bigger. Bert is the guy who would get his ass whooped easily

    • @josteincarlsen2905
      @josteincarlsen2905 3 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      Agree

    • @CezaMVO
      @CezaMVO 3 ปีที่แล้ว +15

      That's why It boggles my mind how he's made it this far in life. I'm surprised more people dont randomly beat up bert.

    • @tammycomeau110
      @tammycomeau110 3 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      Except the mma dudes were the ones blocking the door...kinda important part of the story...I thought, asshole football players, until I realized that from the video.

    • @buyingscratchoffticketsunt5750
      @buyingscratchoffticketsunt5750 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      right? and then not learn his lesson and have it happen over and over

    • @lewciferistic
      @lewciferistic 3 ปีที่แล้ว +12

      It's amazing how he watched it 100 times yet gets the story so wrong.

  • @andrewpowers3719
    @andrewpowers3719 3 ปีที่แล้ว +27

    "They need a white wine and sativa rehab"
    Bert should put this on a shirt and sell it to divorcees on Etsy.

  • @justinespen9137
    @justinespen9137 3 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    I didn’t realize how important a good fight breakdown is until I heard absolutely wiff that bathroom brawl

  • @marlontaylor8722
    @marlontaylor8722 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Tom's laugh after he said "loved ones dying" is why we are all watching and listening.

  • @darcys9597
    @darcys9597 3 ปีที่แล้ว +15

    Bruce is a hero, to talk fitness while wearing a hat dedicated to bacon is iconic.

    • @J4themperor
      @J4themperor 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      Bruce😂? Mean Bert?

    • @P4PKing
      @P4PKing 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@J4themperor Yeah, that Burnt Chrysler guy is kinda funny,

    • @isntitobvious9894
      @isntitobvious9894 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      Bacon is Keto when cooked one way and high protein when cooked another.
      And Saturated fats are needed for proper hormonal development.
      Bacon is Based idc if fat people use it wrong .

  • @Chris-P
    @Chris-P 3 ปีที่แล้ว +12

    Boom, it's officially Monday folks 😎

  • @Bellyheart
    @Bellyheart 3 ปีที่แล้ว +44

    New rule for Bertus Interuptus: one drink every time he says 'cancel culture'

    • @Ken-pv9zu
      @Ken-pv9zu 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Cancer culture

    • @joshuanewbury9260
      @joshuanewbury9260 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      The man is obsessed, suspiciously worried?

    • @patrickbrand1319
      @patrickbrand1319 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      He speaks like a valley girl

  • @andrewthompson3204
    @andrewthompson3204 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Bert saying Ben afleck is the hardest part of my week.

  • @joecrumb2905
    @joecrumb2905 3 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    hey are you talking about mike from redbar radio at 44:38?

    • @無限-c6m
      @無限-c6m 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      MIKE MIKE MIKE

  • @jab62262
    @jab62262 3 ปีที่แล้ว +27

    Best part of Monday now it gos down hill from this.

    • @js01141
      @js01141 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Ymh tomorrow mommy!!!! If you're a member

    • @YizzERR
      @YizzERR 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      @@js01141 That's if you're following proto, bud.

    • @cowperm
      @cowperm 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Keep em high and tight.

  • @well_as_an_expert_id_say
    @well_as_an_expert_id_say 3 ปีที่แล้ว +14

    Anyone notice in the Spencer Jones vid bert says "he's putting him in a guillotine" when he sinks the rear naked choke because the guy narrating the video did too 😂

    • @patsplayhouse
      @patsplayhouse 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      🤦‍♂️

    • @ghikeberg808
      @ghikeberg808 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Having watched MMA for nearly a decade it always gets me when people call chokes wrong lmao can't blame em though.

    • @joelav91
      @joelav91 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Ahhhhh hun dread purse ent

    • @nathanmiller9918
      @nathanmiller9918 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      That's why he identifies with those guys...

    • @joshuanewbury9260
      @joshuanewbury9260 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Let’s be honest very probably identifies with the football dude cus it’s probably exactly the kind of thing he did with his friends

  • @bracejuice7955
    @bracejuice7955 3 ปีที่แล้ว +70

    So weird that Burnt identifies with the entitled rich frat boys....

    • @jerry341667
      @jerry341667 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      That’s what I’m saying .

    • @joshuanewbury9260
      @joshuanewbury9260 3 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      Just the strangest take on that situation. People identify with the smaller guy because big frat douches usually get away with that kind of crap without consequence.
      Also Bert is OBSESSED with ‘cancel culture’ while simultaneously not seeming to fully understand it.

    • @Spongekelp
      @Spongekelp 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      I hate frat boys but love Bert. What’s wrong with me

    • @theirishbear_osrs
      @theirishbear_osrs 3 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      Definitely identifying, reflecting, and realizing how lucky he was that he never came across a fighter in his frat days.

    • @trevor5834
      @trevor5834 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@Spongekelp Bert is just well spoken (in a relative sense) enough where we forget that he's essentially a frat bro in his 50s

  • @RayleneSteves
    @RayleneSteves 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Bert is too scared to say “Red Bar Radio”. The terror is real.

    • @無限-c6m
      @無限-c6m 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Bert Kreischer hates GF (George Floyd.)

  • @klekster12
    @klekster12 3 ปีที่แล้ว +13

    Bert might be the most clueless human that exists

  • @4nnunaki
    @4nnunaki 3 ปีที่แล้ว +20

    I love how we just jumped right into molestation. I was molested as a child which is probably why i drink but i must say this show is still fucking hilarious. Loved the bar fight scene.

    • @yohanscold2149
      @yohanscold2149 3 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      Go see a Therapist my guy, ain't nothing wrong with it. I go see mine once a month, and I've never felt better. That drinking ain't gonna do nothing good, speaking from experience brotha. 🙏

    • @josteincarlsen2905
      @josteincarlsen2905 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      ✊🏻✊🏽✊🏿

  • @camreonwae3613
    @camreonwae3613 3 ปีที่แล้ว +21

    14:53 Bert acting like he knows what he’s talking about “he puts him in a guillotine hear” even tho its a very obvious
    rear naked choke lmao he can be so dumb sometimes

    • @hollyedwards6066
      @hollyedwards6066 3 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      Maybe it comes from the "deep dive" he did because someone in the bathroom on the video calls it a guillotine.

    • @williamblair-
      @williamblair- 3 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      Here* can’t talk shit then have a spelling error Camreon. THO I 100% agree with you. Except I’d say so dumb all the time.

    • @shoonger001
      @shoonger001 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      "Sometimes"??? He's a moron uh hundred percent of the time...

    • @camreonwae3613
      @camreonwae3613 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@williamblair- fair enough lol

  • @Hotobu
    @Hotobu 3 ปีที่แล้ว +30

    Exhibit #5397 of how Bert sees the world fucked up:
    The reason why most people identify with the smaller MMA fighter is that most people aren't going around picking fights, therefore they're far more likely to be the one getting fucked with. People aren't going to identify with one person or the other based on fighting skill, it's which side they're likely to be on in a conflict.

    • @ez123489
      @ez123489 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      Hes kind of right in that its more so people jumping to conclusions siding with one side when there is no clear evidence of what happened before the fight

    • @Hotobu
      @Hotobu 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@ez123489 There's no evidence only if you choose to ignore the evidence.
      #1 The MMA guy wiped blood off of his face before the fight. He had already been hit, and *since he obviously could have destroyed either one of them at any given time* was already holding back.
      #2 Only went into beast mode after getting shoved

    • @ez123489
      @ez123489 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@Hotobu You dont know what happened before the recording is what im saying

    • @Frauman
      @Frauman 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      Fucking thank you. I wish Bert had a co-host to challenge his idiotic ideas. Tom at least used to make fun of him for being a dumbass, now he's just like "yeah dude". This show is losing its entertainment factor and just turning into "wah wah cancel culture" in the same way Dr Drew After Dark has.

    • @conorakapryrs
      @conorakapryrs 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      I mean it looked pretty clear to me they were harassing the mma guy

  • @thomasbobinski4127
    @thomasbobinski4127 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Bro really said Qwavo 😂 too funny

  • @Dekkuran
    @Dekkuran 3 ปีที่แล้ว

    That fight scene is the literal demonstration of "fuck around and find out".

  • @austin5317
    @austin5317 3 ปีที่แล้ว +11

    Bert and Tiger Woods surgeon: “Let’s put a pin in this”

  • @atlas_black5784
    @atlas_black5784 3 ปีที่แล้ว +36

    I just now learned about Jennifer Aniston because of two bears.

  • @matt497
    @matt497 3 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    Good to see Berd cutting back on Kool-Aid and just sticking with Pepsi.

    • @cobrakaiX
      @cobrakaiX 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      😂

    • @beardedrake9983
      @beardedrake9983 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      Lmao

    • @JukeTD
      @JukeTD 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      God every other comment on here is gold :"")

  • @jonathansims8572
    @jonathansims8572 3 ปีที่แล้ว

    One of my favorite podcast! Two guys acting like guys talking about anything! It’s a vibe for sure!

  • @thekrakenguy6962
    @thekrakenguy6962 3 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    Well I can’t identify with the football player. I don’t go picking fights in bathrooms lol

  • @zachstoltz
    @zachstoltz 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    "2 Bears, 1 Aniston" has a catchy ring to it for the tv show

  • @OtterWarlock
    @OtterWarlock 3 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    My dream is that someday Todd and Carizma have Jennifer Aniston on YMH.
    "Hey Jen, have you ever met Ed Asner??"

  • @ChrisIbanezzz
    @ChrisIbanezzz 3 ปีที่แล้ว +10

    "Everyone knows I'm running 2000 miles this year, and do you know what I put on everyday?...." 5 pounds

  • @xJONNYFATXMOSHx
    @xJONNYFATXMOSHx 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    So good to have Nadav’s laughter back.

    • @austinstorer3145
      @austinstorer3145 ปีที่แล้ว

      im watching these from the beginning. i may have misunderstood, but didnt they say he like died a few episodes ago?

    • @jonathansmith8672
      @jonathansmith8672 11 หลายเดือนก่อน

      ​​​@@austinstorer3145 He didn't actually DIE. Lol! 😂🤣😅😆 He left the show just to get out of running the NYC marathon.

  • @benjamminleft
    @benjamminleft 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Bert realizing his workout is another man's work is hilarious.

  • @sissyofFreemont
    @sissyofFreemont 3 ปีที่แล้ว +21

    YMH has made this pandy much easier, but now my jeans are TOO tight 👖

    • @joelav91
      @joelav91 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      No such thing as to high or to tight

    • @funkk
      @funkk 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Soooohigh as well!

    • @sissyofFreemont
      @sissyofFreemont 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@joelav91 my tummy skin disagrees

    • @jamie3653
      @jamie3653 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Try dunking. It's good for weight loss

    • @sissyofFreemont
      @sissyofFreemont 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@jamie3653 ahhhh hundred percent true

  • @adamkrueger1257
    @adamkrueger1257 3 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    For a deep dive Bert got it all wrong. the guy with the curly hair is asking his brother which one he wants when the dude pushes him 🤣

  • @Cappas51
    @Cappas51 3 ปีที่แล้ว +62

    Just realised and I can't imagine how disgusting Berts hats must be

    • @nikkijordan6042
      @nikkijordan6042 3 ปีที่แล้ว +15

      Nah, they're not disgusting. He bathes in the pool all the time

    • @nintendoROX121
      @nintendoROX121 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Each hat has a half inch thick layer of rogaine on the inside

    • @memorama66
      @memorama66 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      now you know why he switches hats so often

    • @joelav91
      @joelav91 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      He has enough that there probly not that bad . Rotation of hats n shoes prevents that funk from building up

    • @MooseGlutes
      @MooseGlutes 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      @@joelav91 a vast amount of filth distributed over many hats

  • @Quickkill6658
    @Quickkill6658 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Let’s get Jen on 2 Bears Live!

  • @sly-1429
    @sly-1429 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    The lesson in the fight is don't go looking for a fight if you're not ready for a fight.
    And when a guy looks at his brother and says "Which one do you want?" they are ready to fight. Plus know your friends and don't let them get you caught up in their shit.

  • @thealphabeaver298
    @thealphabeaver298 3 ปีที่แล้ว +13

    Bert's definitely getting canceled because he shows how much he cares about worried about being canceled.

    • @nathanmiller9918
      @nathanmiller9918 3 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      Until a dog can make the accusations, he's good.

    • @pnisdump3174
      @pnisdump3174 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      That the type of shit that'll make you not get canceled. These dudes are almost canceling themselves

  • @TSaucey93
    @TSaucey93 3 ปีที่แล้ว +51

    This show has turned into 2 Bears, 1 Phone every week. Bert can’t go a full episode without pulling the phone out to bring the conversation to a screeching halt

    • @von...
      @von... 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      He’s still riding the high from that snoop dogg call lmfao

  • @stretchingstyle
    @stretchingstyle 3 ปีที่แล้ว +16

    "Shmurda Kits" is genius marketing.

  • @TheDivingBee23
    @TheDivingBee23 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Buddy Trip sounds like a great show. Tom and Bert do cool stuff with other buddy duo’s every week.

  • @ADHD_Assassin911
    @ADHD_Assassin911 3 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    “I’m surprised I didn’t get more molested as a child” *bobby lee laughing in the background* I can relate

    • @leeph2016
      @leeph2016 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      I thought that was a producer or something, pretty well-timed lol

    • @ADHD_Assassin911
      @ADHD_Assassin911 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      I know but would be funny if it was Bobby lee he’s been here done that

  • @KCNicole
    @KCNicole 3 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    Bert's hat: Lehigh Valley Iron Pigs

    • @joelav91
      @joelav91 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      I like the iron pugs with the metal mask alot more

  • @momarkmoproblem
    @momarkmoproblem 3 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    'Every man has been in the situation where they have 6 inches on a guy' Pretty sure 50% of the people in those exchanges aren't the bigger guy. lol

  • @davidgregorious3061
    @davidgregorious3061 3 ปีที่แล้ว +19

    If you had listened to the damn audio on that fight, you would’ve clearly heard that the football player was definitely not trying to de-escalate the situation.

    • @lilamphibian7812
      @lilamphibian7812 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Exactly!

    • @justinl718
      @justinl718 3 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      man they're trippin! they need to listen to the audio. bert said even he's watched it a 100 times, and still comes to that conclusion?? the mma guy already started out with a bloody nose! and spencer was definitely not trying to de-escalate. "Get the fuck outta here" and "what you got" are not de-escalating words.

    • @jacetms2392
      @jacetms2392 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@justinl718 "I got your ass on the floor and took your eyesight, what you got?" XD

    • @WELSHISPOWER1
      @WELSHISPOWER1 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      100% guy needed a slap. But if he was trained. He would of stopped , said u had enough, and shook hands and walked away. Because he is not trained he went all in with no control. Both of them. Again I don't blame them as this is what training does it teaches control. H e clearly took a punch and fair play. He needed to slap him, but not damage him that bad.

    • @hahahaha-ut6ir
      @hahahaha-ut6ir 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@WELSHISPOWER1 lol training does not teach control. Look at the diaz bros. Hell even khabib couldn't control his emotions after a fight he dominated. Adrenaline is a bitch.

  • @amalia2669
    @amalia2669 3 ปีที่แล้ว

    Those first 10 minutes explain SO much.

  • @ryanmulqueen6295
    @ryanmulqueen6295 3 ปีที่แล้ว

    Bert sees a cliff and say I've been there I've jumped off that🤣 legend

  • @darkyolks
    @darkyolks 3 ปีที่แล้ว +12

    Skit idea with Jen: Go to the comedy store and do stand up with only her in the crowd. She’s laughing the whole time and keeps making you do more and more. You’re both ready to leave but she won’t let you. She has armed guards that you keep looking at whenever you want to leave but you have no choice but to keep slingin jokes and it goes on for hours

  • @thewhitedread7572
    @thewhitedread7572 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Lol, Bart can't even get the friends intro clap right

  • @theorgasmicexplosion
    @theorgasmicexplosion 3 ปีที่แล้ว +16

    Bert: “He gets him in a guillotine”
    It’s like this guy isn’t even friends with Joe Rogan...

    • @raramcgee4982
      @raramcgee4982 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      Joe Rogan doesn't even know what the fighters do live. I hope he isn't on tonight's cast but I know he will be. Can't wait to hear like 300 "woas" during the fight with no actual analysis.

    • @jalenmoudy5347
      @jalenmoudy5347 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@raramcgee4982 woah, almost sounds like this guy thinks he could take Joes place. surely you have over 40 years of martial art experience as well then?

    • @raramcgee4982
      @raramcgee4982 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@jalenmoudy5347 suck it from back Jalen. Didn't event bring up his experience. All he says is retarted shit and then dumb questions after.

  • @drewprosser8861
    @drewprosser8861 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    I swear I’m answering every face time with “are you seriously fucken FaceTiming me right now?”

  • @havoc391
    @havoc391 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    These two loads , Ben, and Matt yeah sure. It will get an Oscar when it is filmed as “Fatback Mountain” and yes Bart you will win for best power bottom.

  • @jonm1603
    @jonm1603 3 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    Wish you guys would go back to playing the full intro, at least every once in a while

  • @lucasscopello
    @lucasscopello 3 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    Someone needs to make a "good morning julia" edit with Toms face and saying "good morning jennifer"

  • @Emm3D
    @Emm3D 3 ปีที่แล้ว +16

    Bert saying his body measurements have gone drastically lower sounded exactly like how Trump would say it

    • @18Callahan
      @18Callahan 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      That’s funny 😆

    • @Emm3D
      @Emm3D 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      ​@@18Callahan I get the power thing now

    • @beezer387
      @beezer387 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      He's the Alex Jones of fitness.

    • @erebusrealm
      @erebusrealm 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      They say my body measurements have been drastically lowered like nothing that's ever been seen before

  • @saydimiyashiro
    @saydimiyashiro 3 ปีที่แล้ว

    It's so awesome when they both whisper and/or giggle to wear it's inaudible

  • @blooz7134
    @blooz7134 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    Bert has a sponsor on wine and he mixes it with his work outs!. 🤣🤣🤣